Come on Barbie

Man, we feel like women! Don’t listen to this episode if you haven’t seen Barbie yet. Amanda and Melissa unpack this pretty pink masterpiece. Spoilers ahead. Highly recommend. Also, Melissa here with a NY Times Correction: Justin Beck would kill me if I didn’t correct the official record to say that he never wore a puka shell necklace while singing at me with an acoustic guitar between any college years 1995 through 2000.

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Stranger Friends. Before we kick offtoday's episode, Melissa and I wanted to
extend a heartfelt thank you to ourPatreon community patrons past and present. Thank
you so much for choosing to supportthe show. Your membership helps us in
many different ways, some that itwould take me too long to explain and
get into, but we want tolet you know that you help keep the

(00:25):
lights on over here at Imperfect Stranger'sPodcast, Inc. And we wanted to
let you know that you are trulythe Barbie to our ken and without you,
we would just be podcast. So, without further ado, a little
dedication shout out call it what youwill to our newest lovely patron members,

(00:45):
starting off with not Jeffree P,but Jeffree P's wife. You never gave
me your name, but if youwant to, we'll make sure we get
it right on the next time.A log, Anne, Marie A KCC,
Courtney, Annie, Lizbee, Thankyou to Stephanie T. Thank you
to Andrew P. To Ellen G, Jackie C. Shantell, d Jen

(01:12):
G and E cop One, thankyou, thank you, thank you.
And if I didn't say your name, please know that you were included in
this. But if I read everybody'sname. It's going to sound like a
graduation roll call. Thank you,Barbie, We are enough enjoy the episode.

(01:42):
M Good evening sports fans. Beforeyou listen to this episode, I
want you to be aware that wewill be discussing Barbie at length, in
depth m and might not even makesense. Yeah, it's gonna say in

(02:05):
depth, but like we're still tryingto process it. But there definitely are
some spoilers. So if you don'twant it spoiled, and we don't want
to spoil it for you, thencome back to this after you've watched the
Barbie and listen or play this throughon mute so we could still get the
play though. And yeah, putit on for your dog when you leave

(02:30):
the house. Yeah, but yes, we thought it would be foodent to
warn you that we will be talkinga lot about Barbie. And you didn't
get watch the film or you don'tcare about the film, you know,
Um, this one's not for you, but you still play it anyway.

(02:52):
Yeah, and and come back toit when you've done with Barbie so that
you can all, you know,rejoice in these wonderful feelings. Well,
welcome home. Why, thank you. It's good to be home. I
like traveling, but I also likemy house. I like my bed.

(03:13):
Okay. How long was the drive? Oh, it was so quick.
It was under four hours okay,and that is really the shortest distance that
we ever drive for vacation. Soit felt like quite a little treat to
be in the car for such ashort period of time. And it was
magical because I was thinking, actuallythis week while we were gone, I

(03:37):
was like, wow, you know, when we talk about this, I'm
going to throw it back to mygosh, was it twenty twenty one conversation
about you know, wanting to bein Joshua Tree all by myself with no
one else around it. This vacationwas literally like that, but put it
in Michigan on a lake, andthat's exactly what it was. It was

(03:58):
great. Listen, there is somuch to be said. We're slowing down

(04:30):
and doing nothing. No one hatesa schedule shit more than me, you
know what I'm saying, Like justrelaxing and going with the flow and waking
up when you wake up, andfeeding the kids when they feel like eating,
yeah, and having a loose planfor dinner. And we're going to
the fucking pool now. That's whatwe're doing. That's the thing, that

(04:51):
this is the thing. We're notless and like I also do believe it.
Children need to be taught to slowdown. Children need to be taught
to be bored and be okay withthat. Even though I'm not saying your
thing was bored. I'm saying theyneed to be taught that relaxing and going

(05:11):
slow and not doing much is atreat. I mean to talk those words
right into my brain, because yes, there were many a day where we
were asking each other, wait,what's today? What day is it?
Okay? Yeah, I mean Itook my watch off when we arrived,
and I did not charge that watchthe entire time we were there. And

(05:38):
it was truly, like you said, we woke up. When we woke
up, the kids were able tohelp themselves to whatever they wanted to eat
for breakfast. Sometimes chrismade breakfast.Sometimes they just had a bowl of cereal
and they were content. And itturns out that where we went was like
I mean, really truly we weresecluded. There was no one else there

(05:59):
while we were there. So ifLennox said, can I go down to
the dock, sure go for it. The water was shallow, so they
could swim. Obviously, if they'reswimming, I went down there just to
stand by, but like they couldjust run and be free. And there
were like chickens that would just randomlycome into the yard and two stray cats

(06:19):
that we would see just running around. And it was just peaceful and it
was nice to just have, like, like you said, loose plan.
We didn't go anywhere except for oneday. We went to ann Arbor and
that was that. And Michigan islovely and thumbs up on your recreational weed

(06:40):
because it definitely made a stop ortwo. Listen, I feel like lake
life requires a joint or a gummysomething at least. Yeah, lake life
required all of the things. Theymust have thighed till Chris I go.
She probably was like this bitch again, um, because it was a good
fifteen minute drive. The number oftimes, Melissa that I wanted to stop

(07:03):
and take a picture of the Amishto send to you because it was also
hashtag amash life. Dude, Iamishould be fucking with dispensaries though well oh
oh really I didn't know that.I was just like I got caught behind
them a couple of times um,and thought of you. I got to

(07:26):
see where I read that because weedis from the earth. Did I just
make that up? I think Ireally did. I feel like getting high
is probably not you know, kosherwith God. Nope. The Amish,

(07:49):
the Amish dube growing straight up premiumCBD. I want to greenhouses. Amish
bud is a real thing there,and they are natural born farmers in this
bitch, So I know. Ididn't think. I knew I didn't make
that up, right, But theywant but they probably don't partake. Okay,

(08:15):
what would be wrong with partaking ofsomething from the earth. I see
no problem with it. I thinkeverybody should. Um, they were in
that hot ass outfit. Yes,so there must I'm wondering. I like,
I need to do the googles,but I haven't had a chance to
yet. So everybody that I passed, and then I drove by a house
and their their wash was like outon the line drying. They all had

(08:37):
on these like beautiful sapphire blue shirts. So the men had a beautiful sapphire
blue shirt with a black vest andthe women had their blue shirts like under
their little like you know, suspenderlike dress skirt combination and the babies also
had on this blue, So Idon't know if it's just like this is
the color that they're wearing up here, or this is like a seasonal thing,

(08:58):
but the outfit was fire the youknow, it's it's weird to like
drive down a county road and likesee like horse shit in the middle of
the road as you're like making yourway to the Dollar General. This country,
I've seen before where they're parked withthe carriage and the horse right outside
the Walmart. And I'm like,but they can go in Walmart. I

(09:18):
mean, I think that I thinkthe different sects, is that what you
would refer to them as. Ithink that, like, you know,
there's like different like types of Amishdepending on where you live, So maybe
some of them, like I meanI saw some pulling out of the Dollar
General, so they must have to. I mean they have to shop at
stores, right, not pulling outwhat they do they like I just imagined

(09:43):
them like ringing the horse's neck justback out right quick? Wow, I
really do I really do like toobserve I would like to observe Amish people
in their natural environment. Well usedto like that show, the Rum Springer

(10:05):
Show. I know, I know, remember we connected on that early on
in the show. I I too. I mean there's like some very problematic
things that I understand happened within theAmish community as oh yeah sometimes, I
mean it's kind of like fundamentalist Mormon. Yeah, oh never mind, man,

(10:28):
fuck them. But I but likehashtag not all homist. Right,
Well, it's not like an Amishperson is going to call into the podcast.
But I don't really like it thatm But Michigan is great. And
also the other thing that I'd liketo say shout out to Michigan is your
summer weather is fantastic, Melissa.It is no humidity. You ever look,

(10:54):
you ever look in the magazines andyou're like, who's wearing a beach
sweater with their bikini? Like it'shot. I love that. I do
too. You can do that inMichigan. You can do that in California.
It's wonderful. It has California weather. It was like no humidity.
Every day. It was like betweenseventy five and eighty. The sun is
out, it's gorgeous, it's warm, you're getting tan, there's a breeze.

(11:20):
Wow. And then at night itgets so chilly and you have to
put on your like sweatshirt and shortsweather, or you put your little stshirt
on. Oh it's so good tosit by the bonfire. Um, I
do like that weather. I Ilove weather that allows you to wear things
that don't go together together. Yes, wait a second, so if I

(11:46):
can't remember what I was gonna say, I had to do with the outfits.
Oh, I have another tidbit.Okay, So the lake where I
was staying turns out Katie Holmes's uncleowns a house on the lake because Katie
Holmes hails from Toledo, Ohio,and Toledo, Ohio is like an hour
away from where we stayed. SoI was like, okay, celebrities,

(12:07):
maybe we'll see she Apparently she doesn'tcome around, but still I was like,
okay, celebrity James Katie Holmes uncle. That means Jamie Fox may have
been there before, right, which, let's take a moment to give him
a little shout out. I'm sohappy he finally came out and said he
was okay. You know, Ihave lost sleep worrying about this man.
I love him so much. Iwas like, I not let him be

(12:28):
okay, but to support him,I Justin and I watched They Cloned Tyrone
and Wow, I watched two movieslast weekend that like, my brain is
over capacity. I can't consume anymore media because my brain is over capacity.

(12:54):
Between Barbie and They Clone Tyrone,my thinker is broken. Okay,
I can't. I can't take anymore and no more computations because both of
them were outstanding masterpieces. But it'sbig clone Tyrone. They cloned Tyrone Trone

(13:15):
is it's Jamie Fox, Um,you know, I just love him.
Uh, Tayonna Parish and uh theStar Wars met John Boyega and they are
a pimp, a prostitute, anda drug dealer going on about their life

(13:35):
in you know, the fictional townof Glenn, you know quote hood,
and um, they realize that theyare in the middle of a conspiracy.
They are part of a conspiracy.They are part of a government conspiracy where

(13:56):
everything around them is not as itseems and they want to get to the
bottom of it. So they areportals and whatever. But like there's conversations
on I mean in the realm ofblack sploitation, but also uh comedy but
also uh science theater. There's firstof all, it's so fucking layered and

(14:24):
multi pronged, and there's so many, uh, societal conversations had at the
same time. Jamie Fox's Jamie Foxand his jokes are just like I know,
like I know when he was riffingand I was like, oh that
he had to go off script there. He's crazy, Like he's just so
naturally insanely funny. But there wasso much commentary that I would be like,

(14:48):
dang, I never really thought it'sa lot. It's it's a lot,
and it's it's dark and it's heavy, but it's light and it's great.
And um, it's really good.It's really good, Like, go
anywhere to see it? Or canI watch it at home? It's on
Netflix, Okay, it's fantastic.Um, it's a it's a mind melt

(15:09):
your your your your brain will bemelting once you start figuring some things out.
But also it's like it talks.It asked the questions, how do
I explain it? Um? Howmuch do we value individuality? Who decides

(15:31):
whether or not black as a monolith? It's a lot, it's layered.
It's amazing. Um. And Ifeel like I sound like a dumbass even
talking about it, because I'm stillI'm when I say, I literally multiple
times have stopped what I'm doing.I'll be putting sugar in my coffee.
Stop what I'm doing. But like, oh my god, I just got
that part like that. It's it'sone of those it's just like, yeah,

(15:56):
you tube correct. In the sameway that I felt about Barbie.
I'm in that same place with Barbie, like I can't get over it.
I well, yesterday, come on, Barbie, let's go Barbie. Because
well, first of all, it'salmost a blessing that my Twitter broke because

(16:18):
I really had no spoilers. Ihad no concept that it was going to
be this intellectual feast, right.I thought it was going to be a
toy movie, you know what Imean, Like I thought, I thought
taking my yes. Yeah. Ihad no interest all the promos, you

(16:41):
know, all the talk that's beengoing on for the last few months.
I was like, you really likeRyan Gosling, You look gross. This
does not like this is this isgoing to be so stupid. I had
no interest in seeing it until Iheard you talk about it and I heard
other people in the discord, andthen I was like, do I want
to go see this? Dude?Oh, I was just listen. We

(17:03):
were chatting about it this morning inpreparation to talk about tonight. I was
your mother. I am your mother. I am the mom that purchases dolls
that my children cannot open. Theyare really for me, but I'm saying
there for you, and don't worryabout it. You can play with these

(17:25):
whatever ones, but this one staysin the box, and it's just for
looking, because you know, there'spiece of me that is healing my inner
child through the collection of dolls.Don't ask me no motherfucking questions. And
as the child that had the dollsin the boxes, that we would like

(17:45):
they would live in the top ofour closet and we would like take that.
I remember taking the box down andjust like staring at it in the
box and like imagining what it wouldbe like to take it out. And
then like sometimes I would tease thelittle piece of like clear tape off because
the holiday barbies I had had likea hard plastic top, and you would
have to remove that hard plastic topto get the barbie out, and I

(18:07):
would just like tease that tape offjust so maybe I could like lift it
up a little bit and like putmy finger in and touch it, but
they were never to be opened.Yeah, and look at you ruining the
resale. Not that you would eversell it anyway. Um I I mean,
once I had any buying power ontop of having daughters, I was

(18:36):
like, Oh, it's a Barbieworld in this bitch. Like I have
photos of me, you know,wrapping the Barberie dream like Shaloan's Barbie dreamhouse,
her first Barbie dreamhouse. Justin's like, you seem a way more excited
than she's ever gonna be. I'mlike, no time about like like laying

(18:56):
all over the box, just youknow, and like I put it in
a prominent place in the living roomand then it went into the playroom and
it had its own little cutout inthe playroom. Like we take it out
gently, we play like there wasI Wow, Barbie was Barbie and the
ability to have Barbies and any kindsof Barbies, all the Barbies. I

(19:19):
had A Latina asked Barbie. Ihad had black Barbie. I had all
the black Barbies. Actually I hadevery white Barbie too. I had all
the Barbies, just having all ofthem, all of it. I had
the ball Barbie. I have allthe barbies. Um, and you know
I have a hardcore rule in myhousehold that when we play with dolls,

(19:40):
we put our dolls away with clotheson. So like I would buy all
you know, the doll comes withthe outfit, but then I would buy
extra outfits. So there was noreason why any Barbies should be put away
with her hair messed up or naked, and no naked dolls, and I
usue be furious. I would goin the playroom be like, ah,
what happened? Why couldn't she haveclothes on? I don't want that.

(20:03):
That's because you're not respecting your toys. What are we doing here? You
have clothes for the doll? Whyis she naked? First of all,
why would take the outfit that shecomes with? It was perfectly fine?
Why did you take it off her? WHOA? I know I gave you
options, but what that barbie doesn'thappen to be outfit? You're real fun
to play with, and I reallydid. I played for many years,

(20:26):
okay, hands and knees playing dollswith my daughter. Justin Beck has played
dolls with his daughters. It issomething that I required of him. Let's
come down here and playing. He'dhave to do the voice and everything.
You know, we would tell himthat's not her voice. Why she why
would she go to the store rightnow? Why would say? Why would

(20:47):
she be eating that shop things?She would never eat that shop. But
my daughter's played the way that Iplayed. And he'd be like, okay,
well I don't want to play ifI can't use my imagination when we're
at telling you to do what wesay because in Barbie Land, we rule
the world. Okay. Um?Wow. So I was very excited to

(21:10):
see the movie, like very excitedto the point where I bought I don't
know, nine tickets. Yeah,before it even came. I I never
I don't want to go movies.I hate going to the movies. I
don't want to sit in the movietheater. I hate all that. I
bought nine tickets. I call mymother in law's like would you and m

(21:32):
Jeff like to come? I toldyou lone, bring your friend whatever.
So you know, we had seats. Anybody that want to roll with us,
roll with us because we are goingto Barbie Baby. Um and I
don't well, you saw it,girl, I was nice. Yeah,
well we it's funny because we approachas adults we approach Barbie in two very

(21:57):
different ways, which we just learnedin discussion of this film, and where
you were like Barbie Mania, Iwas like, not on my watch,
absolutely not. Even though I wasa Barbie kid. I had so many
Barbies and I played with them allthe time. But you know, I

(22:18):
am very sensitive about body image issuesand villainize Barbie for I don't know a
very long time because I was like, oh, my daughter is not going
to get this unrealistic expectation of beautyand she is not like very anti feminist.

(22:40):
Was kind of like how I approachedit, like this is gross,
this is disgusting. She does notneed to be playing with this. Never
ever will there be a Barbie.I know my mom bought Quinna Barbie at
one point. Somebody gave her one. I think at one point I allowed
her to use her like Christmas moneyor something to purchase I think Skipper had
a dog that pooped and it waslike you know, and so I allowed

(23:03):
her to like buy that one year, but that was it. I allowed.
Like, um, we were bigmy Little Pony fans, so we
had a lot of ponies that weplayed with, but never Barbie. And
so my feelings going into this waslike, oh god, this is like
so gross, this is not butI wanted to see it because the talk
was good. And as soon asSasha came on the screen, who was

(23:26):
Gloria's daughter, and you know,she meets Barbie and she's like, oh,
they're fascist, but I don't evencontrol the railways us to me,
and I was like, oh mygod, I'm Sasha um. And then
I was transformed by the end ofthe film and I and then I kind

(23:48):
of felt bad because I was like, Wow, Barbie is more than just
you know, unrealistic proportions on adoll and that that's always been my you
know me, I'd be very Ithe waters of announcing the different levels of

(24:15):
feminism that you participate in can gettreacherous, right, yeah, because we
all live in a paradox, especiallyas women married to dreadful men, Like
how dare you say you believe inone thing but then you're laid up with
this motherfucker. So like, there'sa lot of things that I believe in

(24:40):
in um that are you know,you know, feminism one on one,
but then there are a lot ofthings that I believe in that you know,
and I make the joke all thetime on here. I'm like,
oh God, here I go setin the feminist movement back one hundred years
because I don't want to drive acar. But it's true, I want
to be ain't never. Actually havinga soft life is the most feminist shit

(25:02):
you could do. It's the mostfeminist thing you could do to outsource the
work to a man. Anyway.I understand your perspective on how you felt
about body image issues as it relatesto playing to that with the doll and

(25:26):
and and the standards that you setfor your motherhood in relation to your little
girl. Your first baby in theworld was a little girl, and it's
every mom has it. Every momthat's given birth to a little girl says,
what are the things that I neededas as as a girl that would
help me in my womanhood? Andhow can I give this to my child?

(25:48):
And how can I give this tomy child in a very safe environment
and make her feel whole and goodand whatever and so like part of that
for me was my daughters will haveeverything I've ever wanted to the point of
gluttony, Like we're having stuff inhere because I said so, um and

(26:10):
so while I could intellectualize and understandthe way that people feel about Barbie and
body image issues and uh, youknow how she's anti feminist. I always
felt like she's kind of an institutionand bitch, Barbie is a president and
astronaut, which means she's the greatestfeminist alive, um, and looks great

(26:37):
doing it. She also she hasbabies, she has she has a fucking
She's a veterinarian. She's a nurse, she drives the ambulance. Bitch,
Barbie's a FedEx lady. She coulddo everything. Um, And I agreed
with her in a couple of hercontroversial you know, Era's math is hard.
It is you know, we aregetting mad about the wrong shit.

(27:03):
And the other thing is Barbie isa doll. At this, I actually
I was. I was trying to. I was trying to because again,
I saw the film last you know, the day after it came out,
and I have not stopped thinking aboutit, and I just keep coming up
with like little ideas unpacked. Ican't wait to talk to anybody about it

(27:25):
because I've just been unpacking these feelingsby myself. Yeah, so I said,
Barbie is just a doll, andwe project our philosophies and ideals onto
her. So in that sense,Barbie is just Barbie. While at the
same time, Barbie is everything weas women say we are, and she
represents what we deserve, so tobe praised for beauty and intellect or to

(27:48):
not be perceived at all. Sotherefore Barbie is not just a doll and
instead an institution, and we decidewhat she represents for ourselves and for our
daughters. Your perspective on life dictateshow you feel about who Barbie is and
how meaningful or not Barbie is toyou. Like, that's what I think
happened to me. While I waswatching. I was like, oh,
you know, like you're sitting therewatching it and like the puzzle pieces are
coming together. Yeah. And solike when I say Barbie is everything,

(28:15):
I don't mean it in a youknow, quip, Like, yeah,
I really mean that was everything Ihave never felt so heard, yeah,
and so seen and so happy andso embarrassed, and so it was just

(28:37):
like everything you could possibly feel allat once, but in a very soft,
warm landing. It was like I'min a cotton candy cocoon feeling feelings.
I love it in here. Yeah, it was intense. I mean,
as soon as it opened up,I was like, will we will

(28:59):
we so it doesn't put up inBarbieland. But when we get into Barbie
Land, I was like, ohmy god, you know, it scratches
that visual place in my brain thatlike feels really good. Like visually,
it was such a treat to lookat everything and like the attention to detail
all of it was just like sostimulating and felt so good. And I

(29:22):
was like, okay, Like II really didn't understand the depths that this
movie was going to take me tountil the very beginning when they're like all
together, all the Barbies are together, and she says something around the long
lines of do you guys ever thinkof like death or dying or something like
that. I left. I literallylaughed down out the only person in the
theater because I was like, ohmy god, no, this is gonna

(29:42):
be way better than I anticipated,because I think this is about to get
like real dark. And it did. It was so like the second that
that happened, Like there were acouple first There were a couple first things

(30:03):
when they were doing the montage orwhen they were doing like the when when
the narrators explaining, you know,Barbies beautiful and perfect life. Yeah,
and it was it was kind oflike a it was a a moment,
but it was such a huge statement. So when they go and that's Midge,
pregnant Midge, and then she pauses, she was discontinued because what can

(30:26):
you really do it? And ifyou noticed, they never kept the camera
on Midge for very long. Shewas a fleeting moment and she was like
darker, she wasn't in that brightpink light. And I was just like,
what a fucking amazing, quick butprofound way to say that that really

(30:51):
is true? Like, name nameone person in our society who is kind
of hidden and in the background butso very fucking important to the continuity of
human life. Yeah, right,we just card pregnant women. They can't
know God, you gotta hire apregnant lady. Oh fuck, oh she

(31:11):
wants maternity leaving now, what thefuck? Like? Yeah, I was
like that day that right there.I was just like, oh, it's
a rap for me, this gun. I was like, this is because
I don't you know, I'm awhat a sabio sexual? Yeah, you
know that gift where um I thinkshe said it's it's it's it's a lady

(31:33):
in the movie theater, and she'slike getting She's like it's it's erotic.
She's getting turned on and she's likesquirming in her seat. Bitch. I
was like, oh, bitch,we thought this is me right here I
was. I was like, pleaseGod, Justin Beck have the range,
because it could be a great nightfor you. Um doctor. I went

(32:00):
to the mountains. I loved tothe children. I drank from the mountains.
This more than one answer to thesequestions. Pointing me in a crooked
line. And then the sun sourcewill sun in it in closer? I
am closer, I am. Itwas right there that I knew. And

(32:40):
then when Barbie said, y'all bethinking about death, I was. And
then when you realize Barbie is strugglingwith these for the first time, ah,
you know, an existential crisis ontop of Wow, everything is not

(33:01):
perfect, everything does not does notfeel good. Why is this happening at
the unpredictability of feelings? Yeah,yeah, Oh my gosh. She laid
down and was like, uh,guys, don't worry about him. Not
totally not thinking about that shit,no more. Right, Oh my god.

(33:21):
The the comment right there, andthat that first scene too, where
where that comes up and she's like, because it's gonna be you know,
amazing tomorrow and the day after thatand forevermore. Um. But she's she's
also experiencing like these feelings that areunrecognizable, and I was like, oh
my god, yes, like andthen trying to put on that happy face

(33:45):
like how many times have you beenin that scenario where you're just like grinning
and bearing it, but also likeyou desperately need to talk to somebody to
find out if you know they sharethese feelings and of what you're going through
is normal, and trying to tendthat it's not happening. Like when her
little waffle came out and it wasall burnt, yeah, like what is

(34:06):
this? Um? And and likethere was no wasted time, there was
no fluff. So for something thatwas so visually gorgeous, light, fanciful,
um, pretty delightful that she wasdownright delightful. Yeah, there was

(34:30):
no lost dialogue. Everything had aspecific point, like when she said,
um, when she woke up inher feet were human feet, yeah,

(34:51):
and she was like, bitch,if my feet were really shaped like the
ast off would never wear heels.What is this? So like this this
moment of like, what is thisoppression? And I cannot believe this is
happening? But it's really true,right, And it's like Barbie the Doll,
Barbie the Dream, Barbie the Perfection, where's heels every day because her

(35:14):
foot is shaped like a heel.Of course it feels great to her.
Barbie in the real world would neverdo this because that doesn't feel good,
right. Yeah, her shoes areall sitting shoes. Yeah. Girl.
We could talk for hours about thisshit. Like I I have not stopped

(35:36):
thinking about it. I haven't either. I want to go back. I've
been telling like I've literally been tellingeverybody that I've talked to over the last
twenty four hours. I was like, I texted my sister and I said,
go see Barbie. Don't take yourkids, because while Quinn enjoyed it,
I could tell Lennox was starting toget ancy. So if you have
not seen it yet, go byyourself, or go with a girlfriend that

(35:57):
you feel comfortable with. You canreally leave your husband's at home, like
I thought. I but I reallydon't. They do need to see it,
but like I don't want to takehim because I don't. I I
don't want him to ruin it.You don't want to be disappointed if he
doesn't have the range. I understand, girl, Yes, I remember two.

(36:19):
Barbie had to be reminded by Gloria. She's like, well, I
don't want to hurt Ken. AndGloria was like, girl, you know,
fucked up your house, everybody's lifeup in here. We must destroy
him, okay, And I wasjust like, oh my god, that
is the total paradox of being aheterosexual woman. You love this man,
but you are fucking with me,sir. Yeah, I gotta be reminded

(36:45):
that I gotta kill you. Um. Well, as I was trying to
explain it to him last night,I was like, I'm doing a terrible
job of trying to like convey tohim the genius that is this film,
and he's not really understanding how thiswas happening under the guise of something that
looks very shiny, sparkly and pink, and so I just I want to

(37:09):
keep it special for me, likethe Barbie in the box that we weren't
allowed to play with. I don'twant it tainted by him. Well,
I I bought two seats separate inits own aisle, like, don't even
so Justin Beck sat with his dadover there. I wasn't even stopped.

(37:29):
And when I tell you that,I was so enthralled during this film.
So it was me, my motherin law, and then the two little
girls, and then Shalom's seats weresomewhere far off because she was with a
friend. Yeah, I didn't requireher to sit with her grandparents and her
whole nuclear family with her homegirl.So like when I this was this was

(37:52):
my mean time. I found outdays later, Justin was like, yeah,
the girls were kind of restless,you know. Point I had to
take sheer out and like talk toher, and she was walking around and
bettered up. I was like really, He's like, you didn't see her
doing all that? And I wasthat girl. No, I was enthralled.
I had Barbie blinders on everything thatwas going on in the theater.

(38:13):
I see, na, Dad,I was watching the film. Please,
I don't. I had no idea. He's like yeah, as He's like,
the girls, you know, Ithink they were engaged with the visuals
and that kept them together, Likeshe gave a glowing review. She was
like, I didn't fall asleep.Once, I was like, well then
it's hit. But it was reallyjust for me. So when they got

(38:42):
to the part girl when we meetthe daughter, Yeah, who is?
They do that montage and she's gettingshe's she's growing up and she puts her
toy away and Gloria takes the dollout. Yes girl. They had not

(39:07):
even established none of that. Wedidn't even know who they were, had
no idea who they were. AndI had already seen so much of what
I fear of, like losing mydaughter, you know, like losing that
closeness, losing those cuddles, losingbecause they get they get bigger, they

(39:28):
get older, they don't they don'tneed you in the way that you need
them. Yeah, um, bawling, goodbye. Same. I had a
srong. I had brought a sarrongbecause I get cold in the theater.
It was I have to go seeit again because I don't even know what
I missed because I was. Ihad a fucking srong over my face because

(39:49):
it was wet with tears. Iwas so Lennox was sitting directly to my
left, and then Quinn was onhis other side, and they had both
gotten popcorn and had a whole bunchof napkins, and before we even got
too far into it, I lookedat him go and I go, I'm
gonna need like four of those,So I'm just like holding his napkins.
And when that scene happened, Iwas like, you know, making my

(40:13):
eyes really wide, trying to getthose tears to go back in because it
was like really early in the movingand I was like, I can't be
crying already. I have to likehold on to these. But girl,
oh, it couldn't have been twentyminutes it was. I was like,
what is happening to me? Right? Yeah? It was. There was
no dialogue, nothing happened yet,nothing happened yet, And it was a
quick I don't even think it waslike a minute of footage, but it

(40:36):
was, and it was just atthat right time. I think, specifically,
if you have a child, specificallya daughter who was in that like
thirteen fourteen, fifteen age range,it's going to hit you right in the
gut, because like we're both livingthrough that right now. And there are

(40:58):
certain things that like, as youknow, as Quinn moved from her room
upstairs to come down here, andwe were going through her room and you
know, pulling out the American girlstuff from the drawers, and she's telling
me we can throw things away,and I'm squirreling things into bins because I'm
envisioning grandchildren someday playing with them,and just the just the the closing of

(41:21):
that chapter is so heartbreaking, Likeeven though it's inevitable and you know what's
coming, and you know it's comingfrom the day that they're born, it
is so hard to like watch itplay out and be like, oh my
god, this is my life.Oh my god. I I was embarrassed
at how hard I was crying.Were you like audibly like could people hear

(41:46):
you crying? Or were you likekeeping it together? Yes? I was
not like you know normally, youknow, a tear drop falls the one
yeah, no, no, wasfull on heaving upset, but not shit
had Gloria hadn't even had her monologueyet. I was so upset about just

(42:14):
that. And then when you realizethat the person who has created this ripple
between the two universes is not actuallythe sullen, stank and ass teenager and

(42:35):
instead the lonely, tired, unseenmom, I was like, bitch,
I gotta get out of here.What are y'all doing? Oh my god,

(42:57):
I can't do that. No,well, today my girlfriend picked up
my kids and took him to thepool because I had her son last night,
and so she's like, i'll comepick him up today while your work,
and i'll take him over and youcan meet us over there. And
Quinn had gotten up and walked awayto go swim, and she said,
you know, Quinn and I weretalking about the Barbie movie because her daughter's

(43:20):
still on vacation with her family upnorth and so they haven't gotten a chance
to see it yet. And shewas like, I was talking to Quinn
about it, and Quinn said thatyou cried. And then I asked her
if she thought that it was Wasshe crying because it felt real to her
relationship with you or did it feelreal for her relationship with her mom?

(43:43):
And Quinn was like, I thinkit's because of her relationship with me.
It's like, oh my god,my teenager even understands, you know why
I was crying so hard in thatmovie. But I think that it was
really I don't know if you've talkedto Shalom about it since Quinn and I
were talking about it. A bitlast night, and I was kind of

(44:05):
explaining to her some of the someof the like the bigger themes about you
know, Barbie's blinders being taken offto like what is actually happening in the
real world, and then you knowthe the the mom's you know take on
everything and how she was trying tolike heal her own sadness by kind of
like dabbling in this world of play. But then she's also dealing with the

(44:30):
things that Barbie is seeing, butshe already knows that they're going on,
so they're not new to her,but it's something that she's fighting every day.
And it just I think it justkind of like put up, put
into a visual of something that islike a universal experience I think as a

(44:54):
woman and as a mother m inthis world. Um and fuck, it
was really like it was heavy.Yeah, at the same time that it
was known we know this, right, It's just just somebody reflected back to

(45:17):
yes, yes, yes, inan artistic way. And then like anytime
I heard a woman laugh in thetheater and any of the jokes, I
was like, girl, same.So it was like bizarre community. I
don't know none of y'all. Yeah, Um, you know, and and

(45:45):
like I had heard some of theyou know, conservative right wing media being
like, oh this is well bullshit, it's this is that, And it's
just like, you are the peoplewho would benefit most from sitting down and
watching this film top to bottom tounderstand you know where the people who are

(46:06):
not like you are coming from.And when I say people who are not
like you, I do not justmean legit, legita, you know what
I'm saying. I also mean yousaw that tiktokit girl. Marlene sent it
to me. No, Danny sentit to me, and then Marlene also

(46:28):
sent it to me. I waslike, why are Danny and Marlene getting
served the same ship? But anyway, it's so so funny. I also
mean women, who you all,you conservative right wing men, we are
aliens to you. Please sit downand watch this film. Please sit down
and focus, take it in andstudy it because you need help. You're

(46:51):
dumb. You're dumb, and you'resaying dumb shit out loud. Um Uh.
It was just like there was apart there when I was just like,
how could you watch this and reallycome away with it? As it
is woke bullshit that wants to dismantlethe patriarchy. It really was saying any

(47:16):
system that prioritizes one gender or overanother hurts people. So in perfect barbieland
you know, my heart broke forKen's damass broke for him, you know,
And like I have been in aplace before where you know, my

(47:40):
day, my feelings of worth aredictated by whether or not I am in
the gaze of my husband. It'sa fucking embarrassing to say that. Oh,
I mean that shit that Ken feltis real, That is real.
Yes, human, I mean Ifelt so bad for him in the beginning.

(48:01):
I mean I think back to likebeing a teenager and like having that
first boyfriend, or like the boyfriendthat you had that you know really didn't
like you and you're still not reallysure why you were in that relationship,
but like you were constantly the onethat was like trying to make things okay.
My god everyone, I was going, yeah, I like I've never

(48:30):
felt that way with Chris, butlike like that that excitement of like,
oh my god, he called me. I didn't have to be the way
like I existed to be in hisorbit. And so yes, that first

(48:51):
scene when she's like walking to thebeach and Ken is standing there and she
says hi to him and his dayis made Like, yes, Ken,
I know exactly how that feels.And it's so depressing. Yes, and
it's like where in that like?And I tried to explain it in the
discord because we were all in theretalking behind the black bars, because a

(49:14):
lot of people hadn't seen it.That for every one argument against Barbie,
there was an argument for Barbie.So every one argument against Ken, there
was an argument for Ken. Andso like, it was a really measured
and fair film to both parties,and there was room for everybody to be

(49:43):
heard, you know what I mean. Like when they first got to Venice
and Ken is like, Yo,this is this this never this places.
I was like, I don't knowwhat's happening here, but this is and
and I forget what she goes.I don't know which one said at first

(50:06):
was like such and such with undertonesof violence. She's like, no,
I'm feeling like there's a lot ofviolence. I think it was after she
went to the construction site and shewas like, surely there will be women
here that can help us. Um. It was just it was so oh

(50:30):
my god, be mean, wetalk about Kate McKinnon. Yet Kate,
Kate McKinnon is a gift, acomedic gift. She was on SNL.
I love her so Ghostbusters, Like, I feel like everything that Kate McKinnon
is in. Even though she's likean ancillary character, she steals the entire

(50:51):
scene because she is so good atwhat she does and her as Weird Barbie
for anybody that hasn't seen the move, be Weird Barbie is the Barbie that
you cut their hair and you drewon their face, maybe you pop their
head off, or like you meltedtheir foot or something happened. And she
was that Barbie and she like livedoff on her own at the outskirts of

(51:15):
Barbie Land because she was you knowwhen they say perpetually in the splits.
Yeah, And when they said theysaid, you know, she's weird Barbie,
and we call her weird Barbie behindher back and to her face,
so like we are not fucking hair. Um. Yeah. And but it

(51:36):
was such a Again, they're somuch intellectual food here. I am so
full the fact that the Barbie thatis played with, the Barbie that is

(51:57):
used as a doll not necessarily Barbie. Any doll that a toy. The
whole point of a toy is toplay. The whole point of a toy
is to imagine. And so whenyou use Barbie specifically in the way that
you would use a toy m it'sshunned. You played too hard with that
doll. You can't do that tobarb because Barbie is perfect. The ideal

(52:20):
of Barbie is perfect. So againthat goes to the Amanda perspective of you
know, your previous perspective of Barbieis anti feminist because you would have you
would applauded weird Barbie, whereas yeah, I was horrified by weird Barbie.
Don't play with the Barbie like that. We don't. We're not allowed to
use markers in here. Markers area gift around here. Remember when you

(52:43):
bought my children each their own packof sharpies. I was like, wow,
man, really, I was tryingto win points with your kids and
you did. They're like, lookat these, mommy. I was like,
yeah, those are permanent. Um. So like there's a you know
what you could take on either sideit is it is the exact um,

(53:10):
the exact replica with a different toyof the Lego movie. And when the
dad wanted to use the craggle tokeep the legos together, to keep the
toy together. It's the same fuckingthing, yes, And it's that that
removal of that imagination and that explorationand that play piece. Yep. What

(53:32):
about in toy story Oh yeah,yep, where it's just this random object
made of other objects and is nota toy, but is a toy yep,
um, And it's yeah. Soit's like toys designed to be imaginative,

(53:57):
and then the second you get tooimaginative, it's no longer or the
thing. So, you know,stepping out of the construct of stuff.
Much like you didn't charge your watch, time was a flat circle to your
ass, Yeah it was. Timeis just a construct. That's how we
are dealing with imagination here where weare scared to come out of the box

(54:20):
of you know, play, comeout of the box of gender, come
out of the box of you couldyou could say a million billion things.
It was just a fucking metaphor onmetaphor on metaphor. My brain was going
to explode, Okay. I waslike, it just kept going, It

(54:43):
just kept going, and everything thereand this is why I want to go
back and see it again. BecauseI feel like the first time, you're
like just trying to keep up withwhat's going on and understand the message,
and you know, there's like somany things to look at, there's so
much to process. And as she'sleaving Barbarlion in the car and she starts
singing closer to Fine, I waslike, oh my god, this is
such a specific choice, Like thissong came out and like, I don't

(55:06):
know eighty nine or ninety, Likeit's an old ass song. If you're
below asserted. I feel like,if you're under forty, you probably have
no idea who the Indigo girls Idon't like. I just feel like there's
a certain generation that like, here'sthat song, and recognize us. It
was for us. And I waslike, oh my god, that's so
fucking specific. Uh, I wantto push you around what I don't remember.

(55:31):
I was like, this is sospecific and so like thought out,
like they could have chosen any song, but these two things really stood out
to me as being like this meanssomething, and like we need to be
paying attention because this is going thisis like foreshadowing of something greater, you

(55:52):
know, in the storyline of what'swhat's happening, but closer to fine.
I pulled an article. I putit in the discord us as that song
choices she's leaving and as she's asshe's coming. No, I think America
Ferrera is singing it as she's leavingas well, but it's in a different
you know, she's like obviously verysad. Yeah. I listen when they

(56:17):
were saying I want to push whenthat fucking thing came on the screen and
said four hours later, can whenyou come in here and playing my guitar
and sing at you, like Ithought of every single college party where some
kid in a white hat with PukaShell's bread out his acoustic guitar and started
playing Dave Matthews band Satellite. Iwas like, oh my god, Like,

(56:37):
what woman has not lived through awhite man with an acoustic guitar playing
a song at her? Oh mygod, you married him. I think
I heard Justin Beck laughing at thatpart. Oh, it's so funny.
It was so funny because again,here's ken. He did that for him.

(57:00):
You know what I'm doing the least. He really thought he was impressive.
And then and and Justin and Iwe had we had dinner plans with
my cousin in the city. Soit was like a very full day of
stuff. So we took the kidsto Barbie, we took the kids to
lunch, and then you know,the rest of the evening was going to
be ours. And I took theopportunity on the drive into the city and

(57:22):
then the drive back, I waslike, Okay, let's start on packing
Barbie, because I need to seewhere you're at. I need to see
where I need to help you.And he was like, you know,
it was good, but he wasn't. He wasn't like enamored enough. He
wasn't impressed enough for me. Youknow, I'm saying, like, I

(57:43):
was like, what do you mean? It was good? Good? So
um, we got to the partwhere we were just discussing the guitar,
the guitar Bonfire of all the Ken'sperforming for all the Barbies in a very
self indulgent non like this is foryou, Yeah, it's not for me.

(58:09):
And he his interpretation of the Barbiesthen saying excuse me and going to
talk to somebody else. He wasso like his man brain was like,
what the fuck was that? Iwas like, that was so that they
could distract them. Yeah, sothat they could take back Barbie Land.
That wasn't personal, but he wason the He was on this macro or

(58:31):
this micro personal level with it.And I was like, no, no,
no, no, no, Barbiewasn't disparaging Ken personally because she was
disinterested in his song. First ofall, she was extremely patient and loving.
Four hours she sat through that shit. I was like, that was
Barbie. He's like, no,yeah, I get that. He's like,

(58:52):
but like his his man brain automaticallywas like, took it to a
place where why do you we inneed to make men jealous? I was
like, they literally were not makingman jealous. They were making men.
No, they were playing on men'sfears yea of other men so that they

(59:12):
could distract them enough to take backcontrol. I was like, which part
really the whole thing that's the protectto hang on to you? Um?
Did you know that that's also umAmerica's real husband. I didn't know that.
No, yes, And I heardmy daughter Salon was way far up.

(59:37):
But when he had his little partwith the duo lingo, yeah,
a daughter crack up because that's JustinBeck. It's literal Justin Beck with here.
It was so cute that's justin Beckevery day, all day that me
and his daughters could be having entirelifetimes of of vulnerable conversations between each other.

(01:00:00):
You'll hear's his fucking dual lingo.Don't pause it. I have to
be really bad, Okay, Yeah, we just like you. I won't
help the shoe around? Where willI won't shoe down? Where will take

(01:00:28):
you? Grandma? I won't takeyou grandma? Well, I don't know

(01:00:59):
longer. It was just like Ithink that when it comes out and you
can own it, it is oneof those things that we will own it.
We will play it every weekend,the same way that we play Lorex
and ma Wana every weekend in thisbitch. And I wanted to be one

(01:01:21):
of those things where little by littlemy daughters started to better understand it,
and through better understanding it, theybetter understand me. Because my daughter's watched
me cry all weekend. Yeah.Yeah, I definitely think that it is.
It'll be the same, the samething in our house. And I,

(01:01:44):
you know, I remember being inhigh school. I think it was
I don't know, maybe a freshmanor sophomore and reading Pride and Prejudice for
the first time, and my Englishteacher at that time was like, and
I love the book, and shewas like, you need to read it
again. When you get older,you'll better understand, like things will make
more sense and you'll have a differentperspective. And yeah, just like that,

(01:02:05):
I think that this is. Itsounds so silly and so trivial,
but like it so succinctly and soum there's what I want to say.
It ate and it left no crumbs. It was for real, It went

(01:02:31):
hard. It was just such avery simple but complex Yeah. There there
was no I think you said thisearlier. There was no fluff. It
was. It was distilled down andpresented in such a digestible way while still

(01:02:53):
covering like really heavy deep culture rollthemes. Yeah, I don't even like
I feel like I lack the vocabularyI be able to talk about this in

(01:03:14):
a way that I want to talkabout it, because yes, I feel
it so deeply. That was mean hour ago, at the top of
this fucking conversation trying to unpack theyclone tyrone. I'm still there. I'm
not there yet. I'm smart enoughto know that I'm not smart enough to
figure it out yet. You knowwhat I'm saying like, and it's the

(01:03:37):
same with Barbie. Even though Ifeel very intensely about all of these things,
I literally lacked the language to accuratelyarticulate just how much this shit moved
me. And maybe this shit movedme is enough, you know. Yeah,
yeah, thank you for listening tothis episode of them Perfect Strangers podcast.

(01:04:01):
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(01:06:55):
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