November 27, 2023 • 60 mins
…and we’re back! Welcome to season 7 of your favorite podcast you almost forgot about because these MFs were gone so long we bet you thought there were Problems In The Relationship. See what we did there? Fear not, stranger-friends! The brand is strong! (This was our crap attempt at clickbait. Literally no one thought there were problems, LOL). On this episode of Imperfect Strangers, Melissa and Justin explore a new app to bring them closer in their marriage after an argument. On the second half, Amanda chaperones a field trip to Washington DC and based on the children’s behavior within the first hour, she has “ragrets.” If you’re here and you’re listening, thanks for waiting. We appreciate you. This is the part where you reply, “No problem!” Get it? Because there are no problems in the relationship. Yeah OK, we’ll stop. Enjoy.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:13):
Just a quick note before we jumpinto this brand new season and this new
episode. We wanted to take amoment and dedicate this first episode to longtime
stranger friend who sadly passed while wewere on hiatus. Gorgeous. This episode
is for you. I cand you. I cannot stop. I cannot stop
(00:51):
that. Oh why I haven't.I just can't recover. It's so funny.
It's not funny, but it's sofunny this well tell me I want
to laugh? What's going on?So it's not funny? We had,
(01:38):
we had it's funny. It's notfunny. We had I don't know,
like two weeks ago, you know, had a really intense conversation and you
know, it just felt more intensethan all the other conversations. And maybe
that's just because we're in a weird, you know space in life. We've
(02:05):
been married fifty thousand years. Youknow, we have a high school student.
Now he's changing you know, careerlanes, and a lot's going on,
so you know, I feel likewe're just constantly in a pressure cooker.
And as anybody who's been married fora long time, you know,
there are ebbs and flows. Anyway, one of our conversations wasn't awesome.
(02:29):
It was fucking not awesome. Andand bless his heart, he you know,
you do the the imaginary referee comesin, and one person goes to
this section of the house, andthe other person goes to this section of
the house, and you know,you hope that by the evening or the
(02:51):
next day at least, that youknow, we can all pretend this conversation
just didn't happen and move on,or we'd be mature adults and we try
to have a conversation about the conversation. Oh, I like pretending it didn't
happen. Yeah, same, same. So like you know, the this
is old people marriage shit, youknow, like so yeah, yeah,
(03:14):
the way I'm talking about it soundslike it's devastating, but it's actually very
normal. It's it's and if you'renot having these conversations in a long term
marriage, then you're not communicating,and that's even weirder. I mean,
don't get me wrong, I'm veryhappy for all you people that are just
coasting and happy all the motherfucking time. But shit, I an't really like
that. But anyway, you know, each each person carries their own frustrations
(03:38):
and those frustrations bubble over and thenyou have to talk to your person about
what you need anyway. You know, we're both feeling really bad about it.
And hours later he comes into theroom. You know, it's you
know what I'm talking about. Afterone of those where like the house somebody's
(03:58):
got to be the one to break. Yep, the house feels gloomy.
Yeah, the kids are all offin their room, like, dang,
that was not a good one.Yeah. At least one of my children
has already come up to me andsaid, are you going to get a
divorce? I was like, bro, if that's what it takes for us
to divorce, Like, I don'tknow what we're doing here. No,
we're not going to divorce, butwe just have big feelings right now.
Yes, yes, yes, andand and it's and you know, we're
(04:21):
smart enough to not have the knockdown, drag out shits loud enough that you
know they can hear. But youknow your kids do feel energies in the
home. Whatever, So this wasone of them. This was one of
those. He uh comes into theroom real quiet, like you know,
because you know, I'm I getthe master bedroom. Sweet, Okay,
(04:42):
you're gonna take whatever you have going. You're going out there. He has
a whole studio. He can godown there, go down there and do
whatever you want to do. Youcan play drums all night and I will
quietly see me over here. Soyou know, I'm doing my mindless scrolling,
yeah, and my tossing and myturning, and like wondering who's gonna
(05:05):
break you know, like what whatcould you possibly be coming in here for?
So there's a little tiny tap atthe door. You see. It's
not funny, but it's funny.No, but it's funny because you you
kind of want to smile because youthink that it's adorable. But also you're
remembering about how angry you were.You're like, but I have to keep
(05:28):
my face right so that, yes, he has to work for that,
Yes I have to stay mad.So he goes he you know, he
sits on the edge of the bedreal you know, like he could fall
off at it. Yes, likeit's like a half a butt cheek on
the bed, like let me notinvade her space. He knows, sits
(05:50):
on the edge and you know,he starts, you know, gently rubbing
my leg and is like, Babe, I found this app. I was
like, oh no, no,hear me out. Hear me out.
I was like, what app?Please? He's like, well, I'm
(06:11):
gonna put it. I'll put iton my phone and then like and then
you put it on your phone andlike, I'm gonna invite you to it,
and I was like mm hmm.Yeah. So he puts the app
on his phone and then it sendsme a link to add the app on
my phone and it's called Paired.And I realize now that once I get
into the story, there's no hopeof us ever getting a sponsorship with them.
So like, I'm gonna just keepit all the way funky. Call
(06:34):
the company out by name Paired Premiumfourteen ninety nine a month, fourteen ninety
nine a month. Okay, yeah, this is an app that you have
to subscribe to you and you've createda family account, then yes. And
the point of it is that youand your partner both do this app and
you take little quizzes and you answerlittle questions and then you can see each
(06:56):
other's answers and it sparks conversations andyou know supposed to be very warm,
fuzzy, and you know, theapp wants access to your camera, bitch,
no, oh yeah, because yougot a little person supposed a photo
of a memory you right. Yeah. So he sends it to me and
I start clicking around. I'm tryingto start logging in whatever. And I
said, fourteen motherfucker ninety nine,I know. And he goes, well,
(07:19):
it's seven days free, and Isay, bitch, I don't even
need seven days. I need aboutseven minutes with this thing. I can
tell you right now. I don'tlike it. He's like, babe,
like, come on, you gotyou gotta give it a chance. And
I was like, you get achance. He's like, look, for
example, I'm gonna take this quiz. I'm like, okay, okay,
okay, you know what. It'scute. It's very sweet that he's you
know, he went on the internetand tried to find a little mini solution.
(07:44):
How do I reconnect with my wife? Mark Goop exactly? Wife is
big mad? What can I do? Don't want to pay one seventy nine
a month for therapy therapy like Google? I'd like to know what Google automatically
(08:07):
populated in TV. They literally sentme this first because he longs right,
and you didn't look for the solutions. He's like, you done fucked up
a ron, Yes, give usyour fourteen ninety just OI, here you
go. So I'm digging around ofgetting in the app fortun night. He's
(08:31):
like, Babe, I'll give youfourteen ninety nine and I was like,
yeah, because I'm not paying forit, so I'm already not He's like,
Babe, your energy though, LikeI'm trying to have a solution.
I was like, okay, okay. I was like, okay, wait,
question, do you both have topay fourteen ninety nine or it's fourteen
ninety nine for one okay? Andwhen I had asked that that makes a
(08:54):
difference. I was like, sowe're going thirty in on this shit?
Or I was like, Kauzoom don'teven cost that much, and so I'm
getting real, oh no, I'mgetting really like annoyed. I was like,
really, thirty dollars, Honestly,it had been easy, like if
you would have just taken me toRuth's. Chris like dead ass, Like
(09:15):
we're gonna spend thirty dollars on this. He's like, you didn't even open
it, but babe, like giveit a chance. Like he's trying to
be really sweet, and I waslike, okay, you know what,
Yeah, let me give this stupidass app a chance. He's like,
well that's not. So we're nowin the app. Yeah, and you
know we're learning it because you knowif there's a learning curve too. So
(09:37):
like I answered some questions, I'mlike, well, well I just press
this button. Then what happened?He's like, I don't know. Go
here. He's like, did youclick this? So now we're old.
I'm trying to figure out the app, which is already but you're working as
a team. Look at that.Yes, it could become a fight at
any moment. I fucking clicked that. So we're in the app and we're
(09:58):
answering questionestions and you know, atfirst glance, they're really cute. So
the first thing was favorite things,you know, so really simple, cute
and so let me I should alsotell you that the app is set up
with all these emojis and it's itlooks really adolescent and cute. But we're
(10:22):
fifty. It's fine. I waslike, I wanna let that go.
So it's like, here, playa game and then like you know,
there's no winning and there's no losing, but you have to answer the question.
Your your spouse answers the question,and then you guys compare your answers
the spouse also kind of like thewhat's that marriage game they used to have
(10:43):
or you had? They had that? Really yes, so you had to
guess what your spouse would guess aboutyou. So there's layers to this,
right, So it starts off reallycute. Let's play a game of guessing
your favorite thing. Number one,it's movie night. What would your partner
(11:03):
pick? M hmm. And thenit gives you a list of movies that
you have to choose from right,and they're like Lord of the Rings,
twenty eight days later, this andthat, and it had like when Harry
met Sally, and I guess,like, I don't want to see none
of that shit. But I pickedthe one that I could handle because I
don't, you know me, Idon't want to look at no fucking war
lords and all that shit. SoI picked when Harry met Sally, and
(11:26):
I said that he would pick Lordof the Rings, and of course I
was right, but he thought thatI would pick twenty eight days later.
And so then you have to discussyour answers. I was like, why
do you think that I would pick. Twenty eight days later, he's like,
I don't know, you know,like destruction. I was like,
but why do you think that Iwould? I would never pick that?
And so like this app that's supposedto be bringing us together, it's actually
(11:48):
driving a giant wedge into your marriage, Like you really, He's like,
what the fuck has Harry met Sally? Why would I think you're pick who
the fuck is Harry? I waslike, okay, it's like knic Justin.
He didn't. He's like, yeah, but you wouldn't pick that.
And I was like, it's Iwouldn't. But of the choices, that's
the one. He's like, okay, well yeah, he said there's no
(12:11):
right or wrong answers like blacks,okay, number two of fire breaks out,
which would your partner grab first?Your answer about Justin? I think
Justin is a pragmatic guy. SoI said that Justin Beck is going to
try to save us. You know, my husband loves us, We've built
this home together. I say thathe's gonna choose a fire extinguisher. No,
(12:35):
I got that wrong. He wouldnot. He wouldn't try to save
us with a fire extinguisher. Sonow I'm like, you didn't pack the
fire extinguisher, Like, wait,when did he choose? He chose passport,
sir, don't nobody got time tobe grabbing a headwork if you're not
gonna need it, if you're deadinside the burned down house. Correct.
(12:56):
But the funk that part is Ireally picked pass right, And then I
was mad. I was mad,you're zero two at this point. Yes,
he said that I would pick familyphotos, Sir, I don't want
that. I don't. I gotall them on the cloud. So we
(13:16):
got that wrong. No, congratulations, you and your partner win a free
gift. What does your partner pick? I said that Justin would pick money?
He said that I would pick money. You know what we're doing great.
That's the one thing we got right. And you know they say most
people divorce over money, but hereJustin I and are like, give us
the money. That's the one wegot right. Okay, it's a brand
(13:39):
new year. Which season is yourpartner most excited about? Right? Justin's
answer about you spring? Your answerabout Justin? I said fall. He
said that, And now he's gettingin a spirited debate with me. He's
like, why would you think thatwould pick Fall. I was like,
you know what, I don't.I fucking know the leaves are turney.
You quotes sometimes you like to layer. I don't. Why would you?
(14:03):
He's like, but I like spring. You should know I like Spring.
I was like, how the fuck? But I know that's Justin doesn't strike
me as a spring person, Thankyou. He strikes me as a person.
He was like, too, likecute? Correct, So I said
fall, because it's kind of tough. You could start wearing his boots,
he wears his layers. He looksmean under his little beanie. Yes,
(14:26):
you know what I mean. It'slike a sexy fall. Look, that's
what I was thinking too. Springis so like, do you want to
go fucking frolicking in a fucking feelof tulips and sweden? What are you?
What the fuck? Yeah? Totallyflowers and bunny rabbits and little chicks.
That's like, not Justin Beck inmy mind, thank you. So
anyway, you get the point.We're failing this test miserably. We each
(14:52):
got two out of five correct sowe were at least aligned with how wrong
we were. And that was thefirst day of owning the app, and
I said, if we're gonna haveit for seven days. We have to
do it every day, and he'slike, come on, be and you
know you're supposed to really just doone a day and then sit and talk
about it and you know, soyou know, the next day we open
the app, he brings me acup of coffee. You know, we
(15:13):
still haven't had a conversation about theconversation. But we're doing the app.
Okay, yeah, each day we'redoing each day, we're doing the app.
Each day. The questions are gettingkind of like a fucking weirder.
Oh no, So the next oneis, uh, you know, simply,
(15:39):
how do you appreciate being told badnews? If one aspect of your
partner's personality never changed, what wouldyou hope it would be? And then
I wrote about him tenacity, hesets his mind to something and sees it
through. But then he just didn'tanswer the quiz, so I never got
to know what the fuck he thoughtabout me. Yeah, I'm like,
you know what, I'm sitting inthe inbox like waiting for the little because
(16:03):
you're left unread. Yes, Iwas like, okay, well this ain't
working out because I said all thisnice shit about it. So then the
half is driving us apart. It'salready not looking good and we're we're approaching
the seventh day. Honestly, Ikind of want to download it so bad,
(16:30):
so so now you know we're doingit whatever, and then one comes
up and it's like cut corny again. We had a draw. We each
got one out of five correct abouteach other. Every day we failed these
tests. Your partner thinks double datesare and you can choose kind of cute,
(16:52):
really cute, super corny whatever.We said kind of cute, we
got match on that. Your partnerthinks calling each other my better half is?
I said, so cute? JustinBeck said that I'd be like,
noah, fuck that kind of corny? Why, like, you just think
I'm a really bad person. Yourpartner thinks celebrating celebrating the anniversary of your
(17:15):
first kiss? Is? I said, kind of corny? He said that
I would say kind of cute.I was like, you know what,
this app is only showing me thatwe don't know each other at all,
and I think that we need toget to the bottom of that. So
now we're having a arf. He'slike, I was like, Justin,
do you even know what are?What day? We had our first kid,
what day we had our first kiss? He's like, no, but
(17:36):
I figured you do, and Iwas like, I don't. I really
don't. Anyway, we got allthese answers. Your partner thinks finishing each
other's sentences is? I said,so cute? He said kind of corny.
I was like, okay, youknow what. And then we're also
getting confused as a wait, yousaid that, but you said this about
(17:57):
me, like so now we're like, you know, getting just getting very
confused. Next day we open theapp and this is where things start falling
apart and the question is our podcastis rated explicit? Yep, yep for
(18:27):
sure. Oh did it get toa sexy question? Bruh. That's how
the fucker said, would you ratherwear a strap on and peg your partner
or have your partner where one andpeg you, to which I said,
(18:48):
ma'am, you know your audience,which justin Bek replied not applicable here.
Well we wait for Mike remember thatpiss to fucking pegging. I'm sorry,
Amanda, I started at the atthe least explicit one. That's what you're
(19:11):
not understanding, so I replied,no, thanks, cool appy, Oh
my god, so like so I'mlike, you know, let's just let's
(19:34):
just at least try to finish thequiz because we're gonna I'm deleting the app.
This is fucking outrageous. And Iwas like, and you're ben mowing
me fifteen dollars, I'm so fuckingpissed. So it starts off with which
of your partner's outfits makes you wantto jump their bones whenever they wear it?
(19:56):
What? Yeah? So I'm thinkingin my mind, I'm seeing my
husband, you know, in avery uh limited rolodex of outfits, right,
I was gonna say he has outfits, yeah, correct, And so
when he's fresh and clean, that'sthe outfit. I want to fuck him
(20:18):
when he's wearing that outfit. Butit's just clothes, you know what I'm
saying. Like, I don't Idon't have to imagine my husband in like
a speedo to like get there,you know what I mean. So I
put his current black tea, hisNike Tech, his quilted jacket and clean
fingernails. That for me is like, yeah, that one's right here.
For me, this motherfucker put thatblue launch right thing with the cutout boobs.
(20:45):
I want something like that, justwake it up, but he smelled
boobs b o o bzz like youwould like you would put that on for
(21:08):
any other reason that one associated forfucking Thank you just walked out and served
children. Thank you, Amanda.Okay, okay, women are from fucking
Venus. Listen to me. That'sexactly what I was. I was like,
why would you go there for?I was thinking, why don't Why
(21:32):
didn't you say? I love itwhen she wears, you know, a
bad Brains T shirt with a littlestep skirt and her her little mom rebox,
or I love it when she wearsher cute little batscheva dress with her
fucking crocs. Whatever is you?You don't see me in my everyday life
(21:55):
as as your wife and as asas as the mother of your children,
and think that's my fucking wife.She's beautiful. We did this, we're
here for sixteen years. I loveeverything about this modest woman. You know
what I'm saying, Like, that'snot what you immediately went that blue thing
with kitties out, Like what thefuck? So when we had to sit
(22:17):
and discuss this question, I waslike, I'm like, why why He's
like, but that's what That's theother that I thought of though. I
was like, I understand, Butwhat I'm saying is when I think of
you, I think of you andyour everyday where and I think, Wow,
what a keeper I have. Lookat this cute guy. He's kept
(22:41):
himself together. You know what I'msaying, Like, I'm thinking to myself,
he's a fashionable guy. Like whenI walk into a room full of
moms and dads, I look aroundand I say, wow, I chose
well, mine's so cute. Youknow what I'm saying, Like, uh
huh, But that's not how hesees me. Sound was like okay,
you know he's like okay, Wellhe's like fine, Okay, I kind
(23:07):
of get what you're saying. What'sthe next one? So the next question
is what sex act would you suggestto your partner if you knew you'd get
it guaranteed? Yes, Oh mygosh. And he sent two emojis that
ain't got no business being together?And I was like, why would you
(23:37):
do? Why would I agree tothat? And I said, buy me
flowers, address, a handbag,and shoes as foreplay, to which he
replied with an upside down smiley facedemoji. And he's like, you can't
say that. He's like, that'snot a sex act. I was like,
that's literally a sex act and he'slike, no, it's not as
(23:59):
like that. Foreplay. If youknew me, you would know what I'm
currently interested in, which is findingthe perfect ballet flat, finding the perfect
bucket bag, finding the perfect everydaydress for my uniform. You know,
like, yeah, you would buythose things, present them to me,
and then it would be driver,roll up to partition please. That's that
(24:22):
was the question that I answered,And I said, you gave me two
nasty ass emojis that I'm why arethose even in your recens sir? I
don't so this is a conversation.This is the conversation this app is sparking.
Oh so, then the next questionis name one way in which your
(24:44):
partner is better than your exes.My response was, oh, it's not
information I can easily access. I'mbeing dead serious. Why the fuck would
i'd be thinking about an X inan app designed to make me think about
your ass? Help me underst andhe responded the best dollar round, no
comparison, which, of course hefeels that way. I'm the one that
(25:07):
you married. I picked you,so you know the next question is what
do you imagine your partner thinks aboutwhen they're masturbating? Okay, you know
what, I don't. Oh mygosh, I don't want to know that.
(25:30):
That's I said. First of all, what if your partner right gives
an answer that you are not?Like? What? Why did just that?
Oh gosh? So this, yeah, what if it's not correct?
And that wasn't the first of those. That was a doozy. I'm not
even going to give me the answer. So so then the uh, the
(25:56):
one of the answers was my god, what the one that really? Oh,
I'm sorry, the one that reallyI was like, Okay, Essin
Beck, you know what, giveme thirty dollars for the time we wasted
on this app. And I'm gonnago review this app. I'm gonna go
give a review because this could haveopened a Pandora's box that could have caused
(26:25):
irreparable damage to our marriage. Ohno, the motherfucker. Next question was
if you went to a sex partytogether? What the fuck's going on?
This app is hooded? Kermit?Yeah, would you rather watch? That's?
Would you rather watch others having sexor be watched by others? His
(26:48):
response was, please get the fuckout of here. And my response was
absolutely the fuck not like this kidme. Oh my god. We're lucky
that both of us are on thesame page though, So I imagine other
couples who have had a dark conversation, who have been opened up this app
(27:10):
and said, hey, babe,I was thinking, maybe we should,
you know, work on our togethernessand work on our you know, communication
by using this app. This appcould cause harm. What if your person
that you've been with for ten years, twenty years, twenty five years opens
this app and is like, youknow what I would really like to explore
going to a sex party, andthen your partner's like, what the fuck
(27:33):
are you talking about? Well,I feel like that's the start of like
a lifetime movie, right, Likesomebody's uncomfortable, somebody else goes, somebody
dies, it's a whole thing.Like it's just the it's the beginning of
a really terrible movie. Yeah.So then the good news is the app
(27:53):
did bring us together because we wereboth appalled. Hopefully, they're putting your
thirty dollars a month into escrow soyou can withdraw and then actually sign up
for real therapy, and at theend of it, that's even the free
like, imagine what the paid questionsare like? Correct? I was like,
babe, He's like, yo,this was the most vile. He's
(28:15):
like, I don't understand. Iwas like, you're the one that brought
this into our home. You broughtthis. You won't let me open a
Ouiji board, but you said,gone ahead and play with paired Paired Premium
fourteen y nine. No. Iwas just like, this shit has definitely
gotten couples in a fight. Ohfor sure, this shit because you know,
there's there's always gonna be that couplethat's like, does want to explore
(28:38):
that and does want to quote opena relationship? And then they open the
relationship and then the next thing youknow, shit is fucked up because she
hadn't found some bad of dick andnow he's mad. We've seen it all
on the reddits, the m Ithe assholes of this and the that.
Oh my gosh, so yeah,we I only kept the app on my
phone specific so I can share thequestions with you because I wasn't gonna I
(29:00):
remember. But yeah, the app'sit's getting deleted after this conversation. Oh
my gosh, Well, now maybeI don't want to download it I thought
at first it sounded like a cute, little fun exercise until we got into
the nasty stuff. I don't really, I'm good, That's what I was.
And then I was like, youknow what, babe, maybe we're
squares. He's like, do youwant to get your wife? You want
(29:22):
to watch your wife get gang bangparty? He's like, what the fuck's
going on? I was like,I don't, girl, Yeah, so
wow, we Actually what's funny aboutthis whole thing is after we I've been
wanting to have this conversation with youbecause he and I have been dying every
(29:47):
day just talking about our experience withthe app, and so our trial's not
over yet. And then one ofthe questions was and this this is what
brings me here? Ask why itwas late to the session. One of
the questions was upload a picture ofa memory you guys would like to relive.
(30:07):
I was like, no, I'mnot giving you access to my camera
roll, but thank you, butit was the question for the day.
So I started going through my archives, and you know, I started texting
him photos and then I found somepictures of me. You know that was
that was pictures, but you knowthat was in a folder I started sending
(30:29):
them, and his response was whatare all these selfies? Jesus right,
which was not the response. Ohno, it's supposed to be like,
yup, love this, you know, and then you could send those little
nasty as emojis. Now you don'thave access to the nasty as emoji.
Suddenly suddenly you don't. That's notyour response, And I was like,
what, you don't want these photos? And so now I'm like, what
(30:51):
the fuck? And he's not replying, not replying, not replying, and
I'm just sitting there waiting for graybubbles, like waiting for my compliments.
You're not gonna send a b aboutgrena say. He just want to know
why I have so many selfies,and I was like, first of all,
I don't have so many selfies.I went through a very small selection
of the best photos I've ever takenin my life that no one's ever seen,
(31:11):
that only you should have. Yeah, they're very sweet pictures. I
finally get back to my phone becauseI saw that you had texted to say
that you were ready to start recording, and I see that he's finally responded,
and I open and this motherfucker hasopened an app that distorts your selfies
(31:33):
into whatever you want, and it'sa selfie that made him a four hundred
pound man with winged eye liner.And he said, and he said,
sorry, it took me so long. I just wanted to reciprocate with my
own sexy photos. And now he'sbombarding my phone with these horrible photos of
himself a eyed into something else,and I've been screaming, I've been dying
(31:56):
for half an hour. And nowI have to save these photos in the
dress and folder because they're so fuckinghilarious. I love how this is just
devolved into a whole new thing.Oh yeah, So with every ugly photo
that he sends me of him,I send him another cute one of me.
So it's like anyway, the moralof the story is, if you're
(32:22):
having troubles in your marriage, definitelydon't download or maybe do download Paired and
see where y'all, you know,where you shake out, because well,
I mean, I feel like itstarted to bring you together, then it
kind of took you apart. Likewe've been on a whole journey and we're
not even through. And now we'reback together again, and we've we've joined
(32:42):
together in our you know our disbelieffor how terrible this app is, but
now we're sharing funny pictures. SoI think that maybe this has been a
real positive for you, Melissa,correct, I do. I think that
ultimately, even though he doesn't wantme to get gang banged in front of
an audience, that it's uh,it's it's you know, it's a it's
(33:07):
a it's a gain. We wewe we we're back together and so oh
gosh, wow. Yeah, maybeI think that they really should pay us
for this ad. I know,I know. So if you do download
parent and you have to rate it, be like I'm sent here by a
Perfect Strangers podcast because I had tosee for myself. Imagine. I want
(33:36):
you to just get it and startanswering the questions. Honestly, it is
so crazy. Bro. As soonas we get off here, I'm totally
going to download it. Whow okay, cue music break. But we need
a break. We need a break. I'm like so hot, I gotta
take up my Okay, I gotmy body. You going all right?
(34:54):
So what else is going on?What's going on with you? Oh gosh?
Well, as we were briefly textinglast week, I attended a trip
to Washington, d C. WhichI was very excited about. I have
never been to Washington, d C. Before. I was so pumped.
(35:15):
I thought, this is going tobe an amazing experience with my child.
I was sold to Bill of Goodsabout how my responsibilities as a chaperone were
just basically to take head counts andmake sure that my children got from point
A to point B and into theirrooms at night. And I thought,
I've got seven girls and four ofthem are my kid and her friends,
(35:37):
and I have, you know,three wild cards that I'm not familiar with.
But I'm sure it's fine, dude, It's gonna be a problem,
I think. I texted Chris annow we're into the trip, and I
said, I have regrets. Wewe hadn't even left the state of Ohio,
(35:58):
and I was like, I've madea terrible mistake and uhrts ruggrets ruggirts
in a major way, and andit really, you know, I thought,
Okay, well, they're excited.We're on this bus. It The
bus that I was on was aco ed bus. The other two buses
(36:21):
were separated. One was boys,one was girls. And the way that
the chaperoning shook out was that mygirlfriend who was the like co planner of
this trip. She had boys andgirls that she was in charge of,
and we had a dad that hada group of boys, and so there
was me. So it just madesense that like this was a code bus.
(36:42):
But I was like, Okay,these kids are excited. They're you
know, some of them may begoing away from their parents for the first
time. Like I remember how thatfelt. Like okay, so they're idiots,
but like, well, we'll makeit through. And then we get
to the site of where flight ninetythree crashed. Oh and you can hell
from the moment that we get offthe bus and go there's like a small
museum there, and then you canwalk down there's like a beautiful like path
(37:07):
you can walk down to the field. There's like memorials and you know,
all the little placards or what haveyou. And I watched kids just start
taking selfies and it felt so gross, and so I like walked up and
I was like, hey, guys, I was like, maybe we don't
like and they're and they're taking selfieslike facing towards the crash site. So
(37:30):
like if you've never been, you'rejust basically looking out onto this big field
and they have certain markers and there'slike a stone that kind of marks where
there was like a huge crater inthe ground from where the you know,
plane had crashed. And I waslike, you know, guys, I
was like, this is kind oflike taking selfies at a cemetery, So
like, can we just not Yeah, But they haven't been taught how to
(37:52):
act in public. And I amside eyeing a lot of these people's moms
the next time that I see them, because holy fucking shit, these kids
were bad. Oh they were sobad. Oh they were mad that you
said put your phone down. Theywere mad, but like they were bad,
bad, oh, bad bad,Like don't know how to conduct themselves
(38:15):
in public spaces. Can't walk ona sidewalk and understand that there's other people
that are walking in the other direction, don't know how to hold their bodies
in a museum or in the capitolbuilding, for fock's sake, And we're
wrestling and we are making loud noiseand we are being reprimanded by patrons,
(38:35):
the museum people on the street.On the third day, my tour guide,
who was in charge of our bus, was standing next to me as
we're waiting in line and he says, Hey, I overheard you talking to
this other mom the other day,and I heard her say that you were
(38:57):
embarrassed by how the kids were actingand that you were upset, like not
having a good time. And Iwas like yeah. He was like,
this is the worst group of kidsI have ever had in my career as
a tour guide. And I waslike, wow, thank you, Oh
my god, yeah, oh gosh. So and like last week, I've
just been recovering. What can weattribute it to? We can't attribute it
(39:20):
to, you know, like therewasn't that much of a learning loss over
two years of the pandemic in termsof like how to behave in a social
setting. I know your daughter waslooking at you like, oh my god,
I know y'all are making an eyeballsthe whole time. Well that and
like you know, my girlfriend wouldlike stand up on the bus and she
was like poor thing. By likeday two, she was warren thin,
(39:43):
and she like swore at the kids. At one point she was like,
get your shit to get up.She had lost yeah, and she sat
down and she was like, well, I'm sure I'm gonna get calls for
swearing it the kids. I waslike, listen, I said, I've
heard them say worse stuff, andif anybody dares to call you, I
swear to God I will jump onthat phone so fast and tell them how
bad their kids are. I don'tknow, I don't know what it is.
(40:05):
I don't know if a lack ofself control are they are they taking
places like a good majority of thekids that go to our school, their
parents have money and access to travelthem and to to have taken them places
where they are expected to act likehuman beings. It was so upsetting and
(40:27):
I looked at Quinn and I said, how do you do this every day?
She was like, well, youjust like I guess you get used
to it after a while. Andshe's like, I mean sometimes it's kind
of funny. And I was like, funny where how when? Like?
No, but this is not well? You see I think that. And
we've had this conversation a lot.There there is a piece there, and
(40:54):
you know, they all it's alleverybody's always like, mom, shouldn't judg
udge them, and yes we should, Yes, yes we should, because
I don't think your child should beacting like that. I told you remember
the time we went to DC andI was like some people, and I
said, the field trip at theI think it was on our Patreon at
(41:15):
the oh at the Holocaust Museum,and at the African American Museum. At
the Holocaust Museum, you know,the behavior was was better, but I
also was tucked away in the cornerwith a small child. But yeah,
at the the in the Black Museum, I was like, why are y'
(41:38):
all getting talked to right now?Why do you not help hold this place
in reverence? I'm trying to understand, right, and why hadn't why why
which you shouldn't have needed, butwhy wasn't there a conversation beforehand before your
group got in here that there arepeople here that are experiencing this for the
first time, as are you,who are going to be in an emotional
(42:01):
place. So let's try to giveeverybody the space and the quiet that they
need to consume this content and toconsume these photos, these stories, this
history. And you need to actwith the proper you know, decorum.
Yeah, and that was not given. I'm talking about you know when when
(42:22):
teen boys like get a running startand then like tap the ceiling. You
know what I'm talking about? Ohmy god, Yeah, a doorway,
they have to jump up and seeyou to drop the doorway. I don't
understand it. I don't understand it. And my kids, even little tiny
sheer anew, that's not how youact up in here right. Well,
(42:42):
so when you say that they shouldhave had that conversation, we did so,
Like before we got off of flightninety three's memorial, before we got
off at Arlington, where else werewe there was something else that was like
a sensitive topic, and we didtell the kids and like we by the
time we got to Arlington, andthat was on day three, that was
on Sunday, and we were witnessingchanging of the guard and then four of
(43:06):
our kids had the opportunity to laya wreath and we were basically like,
guys, there are armed guards here. They will stop, Like our tour
guide was like, they will stopexactly what they're doing, and they will
call you out and they will makeyou leave. And so you know,
we were trying to explain to them, like have fun, enjoy your time,
but also understand like you said thatyou don't know why people are here,
(43:30):
you don't know their connection. Becausewe did like World War Two memorials,
we went to the Ewujima Memorial.So like, there were a lot
of places where there was a potentialfor people to you know, be there
with big feelings. We were infront of the Supreme Court building on day
one I guess technically day two atthis point, and there was a group
(43:52):
of people that were out there protestingfor legibatiqua equality and rights and and folks
no choice. I still love it, legit, I love it. And
so I positioned my body in betweenthe group of kids and the people that
(44:15):
were up protesting because I just Iwas like, I know, some ass
hat is going to say something.And I could see they were crowding these
two women that were standing up againsta fence and they wanted to take a
group picture of everybody, and allof a sudden, these boys start shouting.
One shout to choose God. Somebodyelse shouts something and I stood up
(44:35):
and I was screamed. I waslike no, and I laid into these
kids. And then as we werewalking away, one of the dads was
like are you okay? And Ijust like literally started crying. I was
like, I hate it here,dude, it's terrible. He was like,
do you want to tissue? Iwas like, I've got some in
my bag and you know it's raining. I've got on a pawn show so
(44:58):
much, Oh my god, andyou were in the elements. Oh and
then after that that, like thatreally solidified like what kind of weekend we
were in for because it was justdown hill from there. So you,
my kid is amazing than I reallywas just about to say. So you
know now that you can send heroff into the world and you do not
(45:22):
have to worry about how she represents, you know, and you know what,
I texted her little best friend's mom. I texted the two other parents
of the kids in my group,who, like I saw mostly because like
some of them were like wanting tobe off with other groups because there were
boys or other girls that they wantedto be with. So I really only
(45:45):
had these four girls because one ofthem was my kid and her best friend
and the girl that they roomed with, and then this other went from another
room and I texted their parents andI was like, I just want to
let you know your child is amazing. They mind their business. They are
so polite and respectful. I waslike, even if they don't care what's
going on in this museum, theywalk around and pretend like they do,
(46:07):
like, thank you for doing yourjob and raising these children right, because
we're having some struggles with a lotof other people on the strip, So
thank you specifically. I mean,yeah, I for the tour guide though
to pull you aside, I know, and our bus driver was like fuck
them kids, like I know,I know. It was so rough.
(46:31):
We had one little girl I toldyou this story, I think that came
out and was blaming the housekeeping forstealing her stuff when actually just had her
perfume underneath the bathroom counter and justwas not looking for it. There were
boys making out for money one nightafter our final activity excuse these girls were
(46:52):
showing me snaps of them making outtheir hotel room. Oh. I was
like, love is love, Idon't know, hold on, hold on,
hold on, yeah ma'am and postingit on social media. Yeah.
Uh huh, well yeah, Iwill give Quinn some more praise because she
(47:19):
uses social media very carefully and verynicely because uh Shloma actually told me she
was like, she said, oh, Quinn, was that the Taylor Swift
thing? And I said, oh, I told you that. She was
like, oh no, no,no, no, we have a snapstreak.
I said, excuse. She goes, oh, I know, and
(47:42):
I wanted to tell you. Ididn't know that. I know. It
was so cute. So she's like, no, we have a snapstreet.
She's like, she said, lookat it right now. She goes,
yeah, we have a snapstreak forten days. I was like, you
do, and she goes, ohmy gosh. She goes, well,
usually what happens is when someone searchesyou by name. I forget that what
she says, searches you by nameand wants to add you. It's like
probably some weird person from another schoolthat has no business trying to know you.
(48:04):
She goes, but nobody's named Quinnexcept Quinn. She goes. So
I opened it and I replied toher and I was like, is this
Quinn? And then Quinn replied yes, my mom finally let me have snapchat,
so hi. So they snap it. So they snap each other about
(48:25):
their days and I was like,does Quinn use it? Does Quinn use
it nice? And she was likeyes, what do you like? She
was annoyed that I even asked her, like what the mom? I was
like, I was just saying,and I was like, is Quinn like
is Quinn like, oh my god, our moms are so weird? She
goes, okay, mom. Firstof all, Quinn and I are not
thinking about you and her mom.We don't. When we snap each other,
(48:47):
it has nothing to do with you. So just for one moment,
think about how the world doesn't revolveron you. She was like, do
you know how weird it would befor I'm telling Amanda right now, how
are you? How you clowning meso bad? When I said would bring
(49:10):
yeah? And when you were like, we literally don't ever talk about you
guys, but thanks, well,if it makes you feel any better,
Lennox talks about you all the time. Oh, he this child he got
so he had his last baseball gameon Wednesday night and one of the coaches
(49:32):
bought all of the boys these reallyincredible like plastic rings and they're just like
encrusted in little crystals and like itlooks like a like a Super Bowl ring.
Yeah, and so he got itand he was like so pumped,
and he was like, oh,I've always wanted a chain, but like
I think that this ring is likeI think I can like not have a
(49:57):
chain, Like this ring is soamazing He's like, can you help me
make an outfit tomorrow that looks goodwith my ring because I want to wear
to school. And he's like,take a picture of me. Can you
send it to Melissa? What Iwas like, yeah, sure, yeah.
So then like two days later hetells me. He's like, because
he has an audio, goes,I'm gonna wear this in the spring when
(50:17):
Melissa comes so she can see it. And I was like, Okay,
that's really cool. We don't sendit today. I want to be that
Today. We're trying to like naildown where the kids would like to go
for their Christmas present, and Lennoxgoes, oh, well, if we
go back to New York, thenwe can see Melissa. Well listen,
(50:40):
so I think you're gonna think aboutchild dead ass or but Lennox might be
sprung. I don't know. He'scracking me up lately, like he's totally
what did he He did something theother day and Chris was like, why
are you doing that? And Iwas like, shut up, he's doing
(51:01):
it for the culture. He's thinking, what are you talking? We'll take
them all. This is, youknow, what a sweet little baby.
I don't send me the pic though, because I want him to share with
me his outfit, and you know, maybe I will adorn him with a
chain. You know, he sayshe wants a sonic chain for his birthday.
(51:23):
Not a sonic chain. Oh mightwe might have to make that happen.
He's he the other day. Idon't know if you're like, I
bet Sher does this. He wastelling me all of these things that he
wants for his birthday, and they'relike two hundred dollars sneakers. I said,
not when your feet grow every sixmonths, I'm not spending two hundred.
I was like, I don't evenspend two hundred dollars on sneakers for
(51:44):
myself. What are you talking about. Oh, he's on some other level.
That's because they see a bunch ofstuff. Now. Sheer is holding
her birthday's coming up, and she'slike, I have an idea for my
birthday and I was like, okay, normally, know how I tell you
everything that I want. She goes, how about like seven or eight of
(52:04):
my presents are just as surprise.I was like, I'm sorry, how
many? She's like, what shegoes you know where you just think of
it. And I was like okay, but how many. She's like,
it's hot a cut. He takessome prisons and she was like okay,
okay, okay, okay, fine, what about if we just go to
Dave and Busters. I was like, yeah, okay, hold on,
(52:25):
now you want a fucking seven hundreddollars birthday party? Which which is it?
Uh? Yeah? And like orShe'll take my phone and be like
Siri open Amazon. Oh yeah.Sheares little searches. They're little shoppers.
Now, they're little shoppers, andI don't know, it's wild. There
are little consumer children, and Ihave to constantly be like, we don't
(52:49):
need more stuff. We don't needmore stuff. I know. He's like,
I want the off White Scott Boca. Yes, And I was like,
how do you know about this stuff? But it's YouTube? Lenox said
he wants the off what sir?He wants to the Travis Scott Nike Mocha
you know who knows? M No, you're not having Oh he's you know
(53:15):
what though, He's about to getall the jobs and you're gonna have a
little hype beast in your house.Watch He's like, Mom, I need
this, I need this limited editionEames lounge. Come on, he is,
you know what, And just forthat, I'm gonna start saving our
little weird stuff because I have littleweird supreme things that have never been worn
(53:37):
and they're just sitting here and Isee them go on eBay for a long
time. But now you know Ihave a person who might be into that
type. Is Lenox. Yeah,it's him, your baby hype beast.
No, and and and we shouldhave known because remember when uh I therapized
you when you sent me the pictureof him with the two new you guys
(53:58):
new haircraft got the two new stripes, and I was like, I notice,
right, And then I was like, what about that light bulb moment
we had? Yeah, And Isaid, you do realize that you are
living vicariously through your son but alsohealing wounds, healing childhood wounds by allowing
your baby to have whatever hair hewants. It's true, and you be
(54:19):
letting him hal He had that bowlcut, which was crazy for a minute.
He's always cuting, so he's sosecure in himself and I love that
so much about him. We weretalking about that this weekend actually, because
he was playing video games. Heand his little friends, they all get
on a little group chat, andthen they play their video games together at
(54:42):
the same time, and one ofthe kids goes, hey, Lennox,
He's like, your hair is sofire, but it's also so trash.
Excuse me, I know. AndI was in the kitchen and I walked
in and I looked at him andI mouthed pause. So he put his
friends on mute, and I waslike, did your friend just tell you
that your new haircut is trash?He was like yeah, I said,
(55:06):
is he teasing, like in ajoking, fun way that like makes you
feel good? Or was that mean? And he goes, eh, I
mean I cut my hair for myselfand like I like it, so I
don't care what he thinks. Andin that moment, I was just like
it just kind of like compounded ontothat conversation that we had about, you
know, getting to like reparent myselfin that way. Yeah, and then
(55:30):
also raising because like as a kid, like that comment would have set me
into like a deep dark depression andthe fact that my kid was just like
it's fine, doesn't find Yeah,Well, it's so important to instill that
like inner confidence and inner fire inthem. Like I just assume my kids
(55:52):
are the underdogs in this world welive in, and by world we live
in, I mean in our littletown. I just assume my kids are
going to be the underdogs, andas a result, they have I have
said to them, you know,like if you see a person that nobody's
really talking to, you see aperson that seems kind of like a nerd,
always be open and always be niceand always invite them, you know,
be nice because you know it couldbe you. And sure enough,
(56:15):
like my kids have had a ragtaggroup of little friends. But it's so
important because it's fostering that sense ofself that like, I don't have to
be like you. I don't haveto comply. I don't have to fucking
conform to the shit you like.Even though I did just spend sixty five
dollars on a Kendra Scott necklace,I don't know if that's happening where you
are. Yeah, we already getWe already got that. She got it
(56:37):
up for Christmas last year. Oh, Maja just got here. So uh
yeah it's a thing I have.I can. It's a little it's a
little long ways oval Yep. Whatcolor did she get? I got her
baby blue? Cute one has alike a mint green one. Well Schelom
(56:59):
has three of and I was like, Shuli, why can't you just give
for that? And Selan was likeokay, I give for that. And
I was like why and she goeslike, well, first of all,
two of them are like you know, they were a gift. And then
Maj's like what from your boyfriend?Like really? And Selan was like why
don't you just shut up? AndI was like, okay, hold on,
what just happened? And then Iwas like, wait he was your
(57:21):
boyfriend because you guys said, She'slike, oh my god, I'm not
having this conversation. Door slam,Oh my god. All I was saying
is I didn't want to spend sixto five dollars like she can just borrow
shit, right, So who Well, congrats on having, you know,
kids that are raised right, becauseit's hard. Thank you. I feel
(57:44):
I feel really good. Honestly,I feel really good about my kid.
I sent her a whole novel onSunday night as I was sitting in my
hotel room thanking you know the Lordabove that we were headed home the next
day and I was like, you'rea man. You are smart. I
was like, you are funny youare so kind, and then she sent
(58:05):
you back one blue bubble that saidt y. You couldn't even spell it
out like yakoo or thumbs up emoji, just like bye, good night.
Yeah. Well, all right,thank you so much for listening to another
episode of Imperfect Strangers podcast. Thisis the part that, for some reason,
(58:29):
is way more challenging than making thepodcast itself. It's the part where
at the end we say thank youand then tell you where to find us
on all the places, because technicallywe do want you to find us at
all the places, want tell youto go do it. That's a little
intense, but we are asking youif you'd like to follow us on social
media. You can follow us onTwitter at imperf Strangers. You can follow
(58:50):
us on Instagram. That's the onethat has a lot of stuff going on.
That is the one account on socialmedia that'll tell you when we have
live events going on, when wego live on there to discuss an episode
in general, you know, funannouncements and whatnot. That's Imperfect Strangers Underscore
podcast on Instagram. We have aTikTok I love finding it. But whatever,
(59:15):
you know, we're on social media. Find us, but most importantly,
please continue to keep listening to us, and if you like us a
lot, you can hit us upon our Patreon account, where you get
bonus episodes. You can join adiscord and chat about literally everything under the
(59:35):
sun with all of your imperfect strangerfriends in a really nice community that we've
built. So check out our patreonfor bonus content. It's great. So
again, thank you so much forlistening, and come back here next week ish.
Just a quick note before we jumpinto this brand new season and this new
episode. We wanted to take amoment and dedicate this first episode to longtime
stranger friend who sadly passed while wewere on hiatus. Gorgeous. This episode
is for you. I cand you. I cannot stop. I cannot stop
(00:51):
that. Oh why I haven't.I just can't recover. It's so funny.
It's not funny, but it's sofunny this well tell me I want
to laugh? What's going on?So it's not funny? We had,
(01:38):
we had it's funny. It's notfunny. We had I don't know,
like two weeks ago, you know, had a really intense conversation and you
know, it just felt more intensethan all the other conversations. And maybe
that's just because we're in a weird, you know space in life. We've
(02:05):
been married fifty thousand years. Youknow, we have a high school student.
Now he's changing you know, careerlanes, and a lot's going on,
so you know, I feel likewe're just constantly in a pressure cooker.
And as anybody who's been married fora long time, you know,
there are ebbs and flows. Anyway, one of our conversations wasn't awesome.
(02:29):
It was fucking not awesome. Andand bless his heart, he you know,
you do the the imaginary referee comesin, and one person goes to
this section of the house, andthe other person goes to this section of
the house, and you know,you hope that by the evening or the
(02:51):
next day at least, that youknow, we can all pretend this conversation
just didn't happen and move on,or we'd be mature adults and we try
to have a conversation about the conversation. Oh, I like pretending it didn't
happen. Yeah, same, same. So like you know, the this
is old people marriage shit, youknow, like so yeah, yeah,
(03:14):
the way I'm talking about it soundslike it's devastating, but it's actually very
normal. It's it's and if you'renot having these conversations in a long term
marriage, then you're not communicating,and that's even weirder. I mean,
don't get me wrong, I'm veryhappy for all you people that are just
coasting and happy all the motherfucking time. But shit, I an't really like
that. But anyway, you know, each each person carries their own frustrations
(03:38):
and those frustrations bubble over and thenyou have to talk to your person about
what you need anyway. You know, we're both feeling really bad about it.
And hours later he comes into theroom. You know, it's you
know what I'm talking about. Afterone of those where like the house somebody's
(03:58):
got to be the one to break. Yep, the house feels gloomy.
Yeah, the kids are all offin their room, like, dang,
that was not a good one.Yeah. At least one of my children
has already come up to me andsaid, are you going to get a
divorce? I was like, bro, if that's what it takes for us
to divorce, Like, I don'tknow what we're doing here. No,
we're not going to divorce, butwe just have big feelings right now.
Yes, yes, yes, andand and it's and you know, we're
(04:21):
smart enough to not have the knockdown, drag out shits loud enough that you
know they can hear. But youknow your kids do feel energies in the
home. Whatever, So this wasone of them. This was one of
those. He uh comes into theroom real quiet, like you know,
because you know, I'm I getthe master bedroom. Sweet, Okay,
(04:42):
you're gonna take whatever you have going. You're going out there. He has
a whole studio. He can godown there, go down there and do
whatever you want to do. Youcan play drums all night and I will
quietly see me over here. Soyou know, I'm doing my mindless scrolling,
yeah, and my tossing and myturning, and like wondering who's gonna
(05:05):
break you know, like what whatcould you possibly be coming in here for?
So there's a little tiny tap atthe door. You see. It's
not funny, but it's funny.No, but it's funny because you you
kind of want to smile because youthink that it's adorable. But also you're
remembering about how angry you were.You're like, but I have to keep
(05:28):
my face right so that, yes, he has to work for that,
Yes I have to stay mad.So he goes he you know, he
sits on the edge of the bedreal you know, like he could fall
off at it. Yes, likeit's like a half a butt cheek on
the bed, like let me notinvade her space. He knows, sits
(05:50):
on the edge and you know,he starts, you know, gently rubbing
my leg and is like, Babe, I found this app. I was
like, oh no, no,hear me out. Hear me out.
I was like, what app?Please? He's like, well, I'm
(06:11):
gonna put it. I'll put iton my phone and then like and then
you put it on your phone andlike, I'm gonna invite you to it,
and I was like mm hmm.Yeah. So he puts the app
on his phone and then it sendsme a link to add the app on
my phone and it's called Paired.And I realize now that once I get
into the story, there's no hopeof us ever getting a sponsorship with them.
So like, I'm gonna just keepit all the way funky. Call
(06:34):
the company out by name Paired Premiumfourteen ninety nine a month, fourteen ninety
nine a month. Okay, yeah, this is an app that you have
to subscribe to you and you've createda family account, then yes. And
the point of it is that youand your partner both do this app and
you take little quizzes and you answerlittle questions and then you can see each
(06:56):
other's answers and it sparks conversations andyou know supposed to be very warm,
fuzzy, and you know, theapp wants access to your camera, bitch,
no, oh yeah, because yougot a little person supposed a photo
of a memory you right. Yeah. So he sends it to me and
I start clicking around. I'm tryingto start logging in whatever. And I
said, fourteen motherfucker ninety nine,I know. And he goes, well,
(07:19):
it's seven days free, and Isay, bitch, I don't even
need seven days. I need aboutseven minutes with this thing. I can
tell you right now. I don'tlike it. He's like, babe,
like, come on, you gotyou gotta give it a chance. And
I was like, you get achance. He's like, look, for
example, I'm gonna take this quiz. I'm like, okay, okay,
okay, you know what. It'scute. It's very sweet that he's you
know, he went on the internetand tried to find a little mini solution.
(07:44):
How do I reconnect with my wife? Mark Goop exactly? Wife is
big mad? What can I do? Don't want to pay one seventy nine
a month for therapy therapy like Google? I'd like to know what Google automatically
(08:07):
populated in TV. They literally sentme this first because he longs right,
and you didn't look for the solutions. He's like, you done fucked up
a ron, Yes, give usyour fourteen ninety just OI, here you
go. So I'm digging around ofgetting in the app fortun night. He's
(08:31):
like, Babe, I'll give youfourteen ninety nine and I was like,
yeah, because I'm not paying forit, so I'm already not He's like,
Babe, your energy though, LikeI'm trying to have a solution.
I was like, okay, okay. I was like, okay, wait,
question, do you both have topay fourteen ninety nine or it's fourteen
ninety nine for one okay? Andwhen I had asked that that makes a
(08:54):
difference. I was like, sowe're going thirty in on this shit?
Or I was like, Kauzoom don'teven cost that much, and so I'm
getting real, oh no, I'mgetting really like annoyed. I was like,
really, thirty dollars, Honestly,it had been easy, like if
you would have just taken me toRuth's. Chris like dead ass, Like
(09:15):
we're gonna spend thirty dollars on this. He's like, you didn't even open
it, but babe, like giveit a chance. Like he's trying to
be really sweet, and I waslike, okay, you know what,
Yeah, let me give this stupidass app a chance. He's like,
well that's not. So we're nowin the app. Yeah, and you
know we're learning it because you knowif there's a learning curve too. So
(09:37):
like I answered some questions, I'mlike, well, well I just press
this button. Then what happened?He's like, I don't know. Go
here. He's like, did youclick this? So now we're old.
I'm trying to figure out the app, which is already but you're working as
a team. Look at that.Yes, it could become a fight at
any moment. I fucking clicked that. So we're in the app and we're
(09:58):
answering questionestions and you know, atfirst glance, they're really cute. So
the first thing was favorite things,you know, so really simple, cute
and so let me I should alsotell you that the app is set up
with all these emojis and it's itlooks really adolescent and cute. But we're
(10:22):
fifty. It's fine. I waslike, I wanna let that go.
So it's like, here, playa game and then like you know,
there's no winning and there's no losing, but you have to answer the question.
Your your spouse answers the question,and then you guys compare your answers
the spouse also kind of like thewhat's that marriage game they used to have
(10:43):
or you had? They had that? Really yes, so you had to
guess what your spouse would guess aboutyou. So there's layers to this,
right, So it starts off reallycute. Let's play a game of guessing
your favorite thing. Number one,it's movie night. What would your partner
(11:03):
pick? M hmm. And thenit gives you a list of movies that
you have to choose from right,and they're like Lord of the Rings,
twenty eight days later, this andthat, and it had like when Harry
met Sally, and I guess,like, I don't want to see none
of that shit. But I pickedthe one that I could handle because I
don't, you know me, Idon't want to look at no fucking war
lords and all that shit. SoI picked when Harry met Sally, and
(11:26):
I said that he would pick Lordof the Rings, and of course I
was right, but he thought thatI would pick twenty eight days later.
And so then you have to discussyour answers. I was like, why
do you think that I would pick. Twenty eight days later, he's like,
I don't know, you know,like destruction. I was like,
but why do you think that Iwould? I would never pick that?
And so like this app that's supposedto be bringing us together, it's actually
(11:48):
driving a giant wedge into your marriage, Like you really, He's like,
what the fuck has Harry met Sally? Why would I think you're pick who
the fuck is Harry? I waslike, okay, it's like knic Justin.
He didn't. He's like, yeah, but you wouldn't pick that.
And I was like, it's Iwouldn't. But of the choices, that's
the one. He's like, okay, well yeah, he said there's no
(12:11):
right or wrong answers like blacks,okay, number two of fire breaks out,
which would your partner grab first?Your answer about Justin? I think
Justin is a pragmatic guy. SoI said that Justin Beck is going to
try to save us. You know, my husband loves us, We've built
this home together. I say thathe's gonna choose a fire extinguisher. No,
(12:35):
I got that wrong. He wouldnot. He wouldn't try to save
us with a fire extinguisher. Sonow I'm like, you didn't pack the
fire extinguisher, Like, wait,when did he choose? He chose passport,
sir, don't nobody got time tobe grabbing a headwork if you're not
gonna need it, if you're deadinside the burned down house. Correct.
(12:56):
But the funk that part is Ireally picked pass right, And then I
was mad. I was mad,you're zero two at this point. Yes,
he said that I would pick familyphotos, Sir, I don't want
that. I don't. I gotall them on the cloud. So we
(13:16):
got that wrong. No, congratulations, you and your partner win a free
gift. What does your partner pick? I said that Justin would pick money?
He said that I would pick money. You know what we're doing great.
That's the one thing we got right. And you know they say most
people divorce over money, but hereJustin I and are like, give us
the money. That's the one wegot right. Okay, it's a brand
(13:39):
new year. Which season is yourpartner most excited about? Right? Justin's
answer about you spring? Your answerabout Justin? I said fall. He
said that, And now he's gettingin a spirited debate with me. He's
like, why would you think thatwould pick Fall. I was like,
you know what, I don't.I fucking know the leaves are turney.
You quotes sometimes you like to layer. I don't. Why would you?
(14:03):
He's like, but I like spring. You should know I like Spring.
I was like, how the fuck? But I know that's Justin doesn't strike
me as a spring person, Thankyou. He strikes me as a person.
He was like, too, likecute? Correct, So I said
fall, because it's kind of tough. You could start wearing his boots,
he wears his layers. He looksmean under his little beanie. Yes,
(14:26):
you know what I mean. It'slike a sexy fall. Look, that's
what I was thinking too. Springis so like, do you want to
go fucking frolicking in a fucking feelof tulips and sweden? What are you?
What the fuck? Yeah? Totallyflowers and bunny rabbits and little chicks.
That's like, not Justin Beck inmy mind, thank you. So
anyway, you get the point.We're failing this test miserably. We each
(14:52):
got two out of five correct sowe were at least aligned with how wrong
we were. And that was thefirst day of owning the app, and
I said, if we're gonna haveit for seven days. We have to
do it every day, and he'slike, come on, be and you
know you're supposed to really just doone a day and then sit and talk
about it and you know, soyou know, the next day we open
the app, he brings me acup of coffee. You know, we
(15:13):
still haven't had a conversation about theconversation. But we're doing the app.
Okay, yeah, each day we'redoing each day, we're doing the app.
Each day. The questions are gettingkind of like a fucking weirder.
Oh no, So the next oneis, uh, you know, simply,
(15:39):
how do you appreciate being told badnews? If one aspect of your
partner's personality never changed, what wouldyou hope it would be? And then
I wrote about him tenacity, hesets his mind to something and sees it
through. But then he just didn'tanswer the quiz, so I never got
to know what the fuck he thoughtabout me. Yeah, I'm like,
you know what, I'm sitting inthe inbox like waiting for the little because
(16:03):
you're left unread. Yes, Iwas like, okay, well this ain't
working out because I said all thisnice shit about it. So then the
half is driving us apart. It'salready not looking good and we're we're approaching
the seventh day. Honestly, Ikind of want to download it so bad,
(16:30):
so so now you know we're doingit whatever, and then one comes
up and it's like cut corny again. We had a draw. We each
got one out of five correct abouteach other. Every day we failed these
tests. Your partner thinks double datesare and you can choose kind of cute,
(16:52):
really cute, super corny whatever.We said kind of cute, we
got match on that. Your partnerthinks calling each other my better half is?
I said, so cute? JustinBeck said that I'd be like,
noah, fuck that kind of corny? Why, like, you just think
I'm a really bad person. Yourpartner thinks celebrating celebrating the anniversary of your
(17:15):
first kiss? Is? I said, kind of corny? He said that
I would say kind of cute.I was like, you know what,
this app is only showing me thatwe don't know each other at all,
and I think that we need toget to the bottom of that. So
now we're having a arf. He'slike, I was like, Justin,
do you even know what are?What day? We had our first kid,
what day we had our first kiss? He's like, no, but
(17:36):
I figured you do, and Iwas like, I don't. I really
don't. Anyway, we got allthese answers. Your partner thinks finishing each
other's sentences is? I said,so cute? He said kind of corny.
I was like, okay, youknow what. And then we're also
getting confused as a wait, yousaid that, but you said this about
(17:57):
me, like so now we're like, you know, getting just getting very
confused. Next day we open theapp and this is where things start falling
apart and the question is our podcastis rated explicit? Yep, yep for
(18:27):
sure. Oh did it get toa sexy question? Bruh. That's how
the fucker said, would you ratherwear a strap on and peg your partner
or have your partner where one andpeg you, to which I said,
(18:48):
ma'am, you know your audience,which justin Bek replied not applicable here.
Well we wait for Mike remember thatpiss to fucking pegging. I'm sorry,
Amanda, I started at the atthe least explicit one. That's what you're
(19:11):
not understanding, so I replied,no, thanks, cool appy, Oh
my god, so like so I'mlike, you know, let's just let's
(19:34):
just at least try to finish thequiz because we're gonna I'm deleting the app.
This is fucking outrageous. And Iwas like, and you're ben mowing
me fifteen dollars, I'm so fuckingpissed. So it starts off with which
of your partner's outfits makes you wantto jump their bones whenever they wear it?
(19:56):
What? Yeah? So I'm thinkingin my mind, I'm seeing my
husband, you know, in avery uh limited rolodex of outfits, right,
I was gonna say he has outfits, yeah, correct, And so
when he's fresh and clean, that'sthe outfit. I want to fuck him
(20:18):
when he's wearing that outfit. Butit's just clothes, you know what I'm
saying. Like, I don't Idon't have to imagine my husband in like
a speedo to like get there,you know what I mean. So I
put his current black tea, hisNike Tech, his quilted jacket and clean
fingernails. That for me is like, yeah, that one's right here.
For me, this motherfucker put thatblue launch right thing with the cutout boobs.
(20:45):
I want something like that, justwake it up, but he smelled
boobs b o o bzz like youwould like you would put that on for
(21:08):
any other reason that one associated forfucking Thank you just walked out and served
children. Thank you, Amanda.Okay, okay, women are from fucking
Venus. Listen to me. That'sexactly what I was. I was like,
why would you go there for?I was thinking, why don't Why
(21:32):
didn't you say? I love itwhen she wears, you know, a
bad Brains T shirt with a littlestep skirt and her her little mom rebox,
or I love it when she wearsher cute little batscheva dress with her
fucking crocs. Whatever is you?You don't see me in my everyday life
(21:55):
as as your wife and as asas as the mother of your children,
and think that's my fucking wife.She's beautiful. We did this, we're
here for sixteen years. I loveeverything about this modest woman. You know
what I'm saying, Like, that'snot what you immediately went that blue thing
with kitties out, Like what thefuck? So when we had to sit
(22:17):
and discuss this question, I waslike, I'm like, why why He's
like, but that's what That's theother that I thought of though. I
was like, I understand, Butwhat I'm saying is when I think of
you, I think of you andyour everyday where and I think, Wow,
what a keeper I have. Lookat this cute guy. He's kept
(22:41):
himself together. You know what I'msaying, Like, I'm thinking to myself,
he's a fashionable guy. Like whenI walk into a room full of
moms and dads, I look aroundand I say, wow, I chose
well, mine's so cute. Youknow what I'm saying, Like, uh
huh, But that's not how hesees me. Sound was like okay,
you know he's like okay, Wellhe's like fine, Okay, I kind
(23:07):
of get what you're saying. What'sthe next one? So the next question
is what sex act would you suggestto your partner if you knew you'd get
it guaranteed? Yes, Oh mygosh. And he sent two emojis that
ain't got no business being together?And I was like, why would you
(23:37):
do? Why would I agree tothat? And I said, buy me
flowers, address, a handbag,and shoes as foreplay, to which he
replied with an upside down smiley facedemoji. And he's like, you can't
say that. He's like, that'snot a sex act. I was like,
that's literally a sex act and he'slike, no, it's not as
(23:59):
like that. Foreplay. If youknew me, you would know what I'm
currently interested in, which is findingthe perfect ballet flat, finding the perfect
bucket bag, finding the perfect everydaydress for my uniform. You know,
like, yeah, you would buythose things, present them to me,
and then it would be driver,roll up to partition please. That's that
(24:22):
was the question that I answered,And I said, you gave me two
nasty ass emojis that I'm why arethose even in your recens sir? I
don't so this is a conversation.This is the conversation this app is sparking.
Oh so, then the next questionis name one way in which your
(24:44):
partner is better than your exes.My response was, oh, it's not
information I can easily access. I'mbeing dead serious. Why the fuck would
i'd be thinking about an X inan app designed to make me think about
your ass? Help me underst andhe responded the best dollar round, no
comparison, which, of course hefeels that way. I'm the one that
(25:07):
you married. I picked you,so you know the next question is what
do you imagine your partner thinks aboutwhen they're masturbating? Okay, you know
what, I don't. Oh mygosh, I don't want to know that.
(25:30):
That's I said. First of all, what if your partner right gives
an answer that you are not?Like? What? Why did just that?
Oh gosh? So this, yeah, what if it's not correct?
And that wasn't the first of those. That was a doozy. I'm not
even going to give me the answer. So so then the uh, the
(25:56):
one of the answers was my god, what the one that really? Oh,
I'm sorry, the one that reallyI was like, Okay, Essin
Beck, you know what, giveme thirty dollars for the time we wasted
on this app. And I'm gonnago review this app. I'm gonna go
give a review because this could haveopened a Pandora's box that could have caused
(26:25):
irreparable damage to our marriage. Ohno, the motherfucker. Next question was
if you went to a sex partytogether? What the fuck's going on?
This app is hooded? Kermit?Yeah, would you rather watch? That's?
Would you rather watch others having sexor be watched by others? His
(26:48):
response was, please get the fuckout of here. And my response was
absolutely the fuck not like this kidme. Oh my god. We're lucky
that both of us are on thesame page though, So I imagine other
couples who have had a dark conversation, who have been opened up this app
(27:10):
and said, hey, babe,I was thinking, maybe we should,
you know, work on our togethernessand work on our you know, communication
by using this app. This appcould cause harm. What if your person
that you've been with for ten years, twenty years, twenty five years opens
this app and is like, youknow what I would really like to explore
going to a sex party, andthen your partner's like, what the fuck
(27:33):
are you talking about? Well,I feel like that's the start of like
a lifetime movie, right, Likesomebody's uncomfortable, somebody else goes, somebody
dies, it's a whole thing.Like it's just the it's the beginning of
a really terrible movie. Yeah.So then the good news is the app
(27:53):
did bring us together because we wereboth appalled. Hopefully, they're putting your
thirty dollars a month into escrow soyou can withdraw and then actually sign up
for real therapy, and at theend of it, that's even the free
like, imagine what the paid questionsare like? Correct? I was like,
babe, He's like, yo,this was the most vile. He's
(28:15):
like, I don't understand. Iwas like, you're the one that brought
this into our home. You broughtthis. You won't let me open a
Ouiji board, but you said,gone ahead and play with paired Paired Premium
fourteen y nine. No. Iwas just like, this shit has definitely
gotten couples in a fight. Ohfor sure, this shit because you know,
there's there's always gonna be that couplethat's like, does want to explore
(28:38):
that and does want to quote opena relationship? And then they open the
relationship and then the next thing youknow, shit is fucked up because she
hadn't found some bad of dick andnow he's mad. We've seen it all
on the reddits, the m Ithe assholes of this and the that.
Oh my gosh, so yeah,we I only kept the app on my
phone specific so I can share thequestions with you because I wasn't gonna I
(29:00):
remember. But yeah, the app'sit's getting deleted after this conversation. Oh
my gosh, Well, now maybeI don't want to download it I thought
at first it sounded like a cute, little fun exercise until we got into
the nasty stuff. I don't really, I'm good, That's what I was.
And then I was like, youknow what, babe, maybe we're
squares. He's like, do youwant to get your wife? You want
(29:22):
to watch your wife get gang bangparty? He's like, what the fuck's
going on? I was like,I don't, girl, Yeah, so
wow, we Actually what's funny aboutthis whole thing is after we I've been
wanting to have this conversation with youbecause he and I have been dying every
(29:47):
day just talking about our experience withthe app, and so our trial's not
over yet. And then one ofthe questions was and this this is what
brings me here? Ask why itwas late to the session. One of
the questions was upload a picture ofa memory you guys would like to relive.
(30:07):
I was like, no, I'mnot giving you access to my camera
roll, but thank you, butit was the question for the day.
So I started going through my archives, and you know, I started texting
him photos and then I found somepictures of me. You know that was
that was pictures, but you knowthat was in a folder I started sending
(30:29):
them, and his response was whatare all these selfies? Jesus right,
which was not the response. Ohno, it's supposed to be like,
yup, love this, you know, and then you could send those little
nasty as emojis. Now you don'thave access to the nasty as emoji.
Suddenly suddenly you don't. That's notyour response, And I was like,
what, you don't want these photos? And so now I'm like, what
(30:51):
the fuck? And he's not replying, not replying, not replying, and
I'm just sitting there waiting for graybubbles, like waiting for my compliments.
You're not gonna send a b aboutgrena say. He just want to know
why I have so many selfies,and I was like, first of all,
I don't have so many selfies.I went through a very small selection
of the best photos I've ever takenin my life that no one's ever seen,
(31:11):
that only you should have. Yeah, they're very sweet pictures. I
finally get back to my phone becauseI saw that you had texted to say
that you were ready to start recording, and I see that he's finally responded,
and I open and this motherfucker hasopened an app that distorts your selfies
(31:33):
into whatever you want, and it'sa selfie that made him a four hundred
pound man with winged eye liner.And he said, and he said,
sorry, it took me so long. I just wanted to reciprocate with my
own sexy photos. And now he'sbombarding my phone with these horrible photos of
himself a eyed into something else,and I've been screaming, I've been dying
(31:56):
for half an hour. And nowI have to save these photos in the
dress and folder because they're so fuckinghilarious. I love how this is just
devolved into a whole new thing.Oh yeah, So with every ugly photo
that he sends me of him,I send him another cute one of me.
So it's like anyway, the moralof the story is, if you're
(32:22):
having troubles in your marriage, definitelydon't download or maybe do download Paired and
see where y'all, you know,where you shake out, because well,
I mean, I feel like itstarted to bring you together, then it
kind of took you apart. Likewe've been on a whole journey and we're
not even through. And now we'reback together again, and we've we've joined
(32:42):
together in our you know our disbelieffor how terrible this app is, but
now we're sharing funny pictures. SoI think that maybe this has been a
real positive for you, Melissa,correct, I do. I think that
ultimately, even though he doesn't wantme to get gang banged in front of
an audience, that it's uh,it's it's you know, it's a it's
(33:07):
a it's a gain. We wewe we we're back together and so oh
gosh, wow. Yeah, maybeI think that they really should pay us
for this ad. I know,I know. So if you do download
parent and you have to rate it, be like I'm sent here by a
Perfect Strangers podcast because I had tosee for myself. Imagine. I want
(33:36):
you to just get it and startanswering the questions. Honestly, it is
so crazy. Bro. As soonas we get off here, I'm totally
going to download it. Whow okay, cue music break. But we need
a break. We need a break. I'm like so hot, I gotta
take up my Okay, I gotmy body. You going all right?
(34:54):
So what else is going on?What's going on with you? Oh gosh?
Well, as we were briefly textinglast week, I attended a trip
to Washington, d C. WhichI was very excited about. I have
never been to Washington, d C. Before. I was so pumped.
(35:15):
I thought, this is going tobe an amazing experience with my child.
I was sold to Bill of Goodsabout how my responsibilities as a chaperone were
just basically to take head counts andmake sure that my children got from point
A to point B and into theirrooms at night. And I thought,
I've got seven girls and four ofthem are my kid and her friends,
(35:37):
and I have, you know,three wild cards that I'm not familiar with.
But I'm sure it's fine, dude, It's gonna be a problem,
I think. I texted Chris annow we're into the trip, and I
said, I have regrets. Wewe hadn't even left the state of Ohio,
(35:58):
and I was like, I've madea terrible mistake and uhrts ruggrets ruggirts
in a major way, and andit really, you know, I thought,
Okay, well, they're excited.We're on this bus. It The
bus that I was on was aco ed bus. The other two buses
(36:21):
were separated. One was boys,one was girls. And the way that
the chaperoning shook out was that mygirlfriend who was the like co planner of
this trip. She had boys andgirls that she was in charge of,
and we had a dad that hada group of boys, and so there
was me. So it just madesense that like this was a code bus.
(36:42):
But I was like, Okay,these kids are excited. They're you
know, some of them may begoing away from their parents for the first
time. Like I remember how thatfelt. Like okay, so they're idiots,
but like, well, we'll makeit through. And then we get
to the site of where flight ninetythree crashed. Oh and you can hell
from the moment that we get offthe bus and go there's like a small
museum there, and then you canwalk down there's like a beautiful like path
(37:07):
you can walk down to the field. There's like memorials and you know,
all the little placards or what haveyou. And I watched kids just start
taking selfies and it felt so gross, and so I like walked up and
I was like, hey, guys, I was like, maybe we don't
like and they're and they're taking selfieslike facing towards the crash site. So
(37:30):
like if you've never been, you'rejust basically looking out onto this big field
and they have certain markers and there'slike a stone that kind of marks where
there was like a huge crater inthe ground from where the you know,
plane had crashed. And I waslike, you know, guys, I
was like, this is kind oflike taking selfies at a cemetery, So
like, can we just not Yeah, But they haven't been taught how to
(37:52):
act in public. And I amside eyeing a lot of these people's moms
the next time that I see them, because holy fucking shit, these kids
were bad. Oh they were sobad. Oh they were mad that you
said put your phone down. Theywere mad, but like they were bad,
bad, oh, bad bad,Like don't know how to conduct themselves
(38:15):
in public spaces. Can't walk ona sidewalk and understand that there's other people
that are walking in the other direction, don't know how to hold their bodies
in a museum or in the capitolbuilding, for fock's sake, And we're
wrestling and we are making loud noiseand we are being reprimanded by patrons,
(38:35):
the museum people on the street.On the third day, my tour guide,
who was in charge of our bus, was standing next to me as
we're waiting in line and he says, Hey, I overheard you talking to
this other mom the other day,and I heard her say that you were
(38:57):
embarrassed by how the kids were actingand that you were upset, like not
having a good time. And Iwas like yeah. He was like,
this is the worst group of kidsI have ever had in my career as
a tour guide. And I waslike, wow, thank you, Oh
my god, yeah, oh gosh. So and like last week, I've
just been recovering. What can weattribute it to? We can't attribute it
(39:20):
to, you know, like therewasn't that much of a learning loss over
two years of the pandemic in termsof like how to behave in a social
setting. I know your daughter waslooking at you like, oh my god,
I know y'all are making an eyeballsthe whole time. Well that and
like you know, my girlfriend wouldlike stand up on the bus and she
was like poor thing. By likeday two, she was warren thin,
(39:43):
and she like swore at the kids. At one point she was like,
get your shit to get up.She had lost yeah, and she sat
down and she was like, well, I'm sure I'm gonna get calls for
swearing it the kids. I waslike, listen, I said, I've
heard them say worse stuff, andif anybody dares to call you, I
swear to God I will jump onthat phone so fast and tell them how
bad their kids are. I don'tknow, I don't know what it is.
(40:05):
I don't know if a lack ofself control are they are they taking
places like a good majority of thekids that go to our school, their
parents have money and access to travelthem and to to have taken them places
where they are expected to act likehuman beings. It was so upsetting and
(40:27):
I looked at Quinn and I said, how do you do this every day?
She was like, well, youjust like I guess you get used
to it after a while. Andshe's like, I mean sometimes it's kind
of funny. And I was like, funny where how when? Like?
No, but this is not well? You see I think that. And
we've had this conversation a lot.There there is a piece there, and
(40:54):
you know, they all it's alleverybody's always like, mom, shouldn't judg
udge them, and yes we should, Yes, yes we should, because
I don't think your child should beacting like that. I told you remember
the time we went to DC andI was like some people, and I
said, the field trip at theI think it was on our Patreon at
(41:15):
the oh at the Holocaust Museum,and at the African American Museum. At
the Holocaust Museum, you know,the behavior was was better, but I
also was tucked away in the cornerwith a small child. But yeah,
at the the in the Black Museum, I was like, why are y'
(41:38):
all getting talked to right now?Why do you not help hold this place
in reverence? I'm trying to understand, right, and why hadn't why why
which you shouldn't have needed, butwhy wasn't there a conversation beforehand before your
group got in here that there arepeople here that are experiencing this for the
first time, as are you,who are going to be in an emotional
(42:01):
place. So let's try to giveeverybody the space and the quiet that they
need to consume this content and toconsume these photos, these stories, this
history. And you need to actwith the proper you know, decorum.
Yeah, and that was not given. I'm talking about you know when when
(42:22):
teen boys like get a running startand then like tap the ceiling. You
know what I'm talking about? Ohmy god, Yeah, a doorway,
they have to jump up and seeyou to drop the doorway. I don't
understand it. I don't understand it. And my kids, even little tiny
sheer anew, that's not how youact up in here right. Well,
(42:42):
so when you say that they shouldhave had that conversation, we did so,
Like before we got off of flightninety three's memorial, before we got
off at Arlington, where else werewe there was something else that was like
a sensitive topic, and we didtell the kids and like we by the
time we got to Arlington, andthat was on day three, that was
on Sunday, and we were witnessingchanging of the guard and then four of
(43:06):
our kids had the opportunity to laya wreath and we were basically like,
guys, there are armed guards here. They will stop, Like our tour
guide was like, they will stopexactly what they're doing, and they will
call you out and they will makeyou leave. And so you know,
we were trying to explain to them, like have fun, enjoy your time,
but also understand like you said thatyou don't know why people are here,
(43:30):
you don't know their connection. Becausewe did like World War Two memorials,
we went to the Ewujima Memorial.So like, there were a lot
of places where there was a potentialfor people to you know, be there
with big feelings. We were infront of the Supreme Court building on day
one I guess technically day two atthis point, and there was a group
(43:52):
of people that were out there protestingfor legibatiqua equality and rights and and folks
no choice. I still love it, legit, I love it. And
so I positioned my body in betweenthe group of kids and the people that
(44:15):
were up protesting because I just Iwas like, I know, some ass
hat is going to say something.And I could see they were crowding these
two women that were standing up againsta fence and they wanted to take a
group picture of everybody, and allof a sudden, these boys start shouting.
One shout to choose God. Somebodyelse shouts something and I stood up
(44:35):
and I was screamed. I waslike no, and I laid into these
kids. And then as we werewalking away, one of the dads was
like are you okay? And Ijust like literally started crying. I was
like, I hate it here,dude, it's terrible. He was like,
do you want to tissue? Iwas like, I've got some in
my bag and you know it's raining. I've got on a pawn show so
(44:58):
much, Oh my god, andyou were in the elements. Oh and
then after that that, like thatreally solidified like what kind of weekend we
were in for because it was justdown hill from there. So you,
my kid is amazing than I reallywas just about to say. So you
know now that you can send heroff into the world and you do not
(45:22):
have to worry about how she represents, you know, and you know what,
I texted her little best friend's mom. I texted the two other parents
of the kids in my group,who, like I saw mostly because like
some of them were like wanting tobe off with other groups because there were
boys or other girls that they wantedto be with. So I really only
(45:45):
had these four girls because one ofthem was my kid and her best friend
and the girl that they roomed with, and then this other went from another
room and I texted their parents andI was like, I just want to
let you know your child is amazing. They mind their business. They are
so polite and respectful. I waslike, even if they don't care what's
going on in this museum, theywalk around and pretend like they do,
(46:07):
like, thank you for doing yourjob and raising these children right, because
we're having some struggles with a lotof other people on the strip, So
thank you specifically. I mean,yeah, I for the tour guide though
to pull you aside, I know, and our bus driver was like fuck
them kids, like I know,I know. It was so rough.
(46:31):
We had one little girl I toldyou this story, I think that came
out and was blaming the housekeeping forstealing her stuff when actually just had her
perfume underneath the bathroom counter and justwas not looking for it. There were
boys making out for money one nightafter our final activity excuse these girls were
(46:52):
showing me snaps of them making outtheir hotel room. Oh. I was
like, love is love, Idon't know, hold on, hold on,
hold on, yeah ma'am and postingit on social media. Yeah.
Uh huh, well yeah, Iwill give Quinn some more praise because she
(47:19):
uses social media very carefully and verynicely because uh Shloma actually told me she
was like, she said, oh, Quinn, was that the Taylor Swift
thing? And I said, oh, I told you that. She was
like, oh no, no,no, no, we have a snapstreak.
I said, excuse. She goes, oh, I know, and
(47:42):
I wanted to tell you. Ididn't know that. I know. It
was so cute. So she's like, no, we have a snapstreet.
She's like, she said, lookat it right now. She goes,
yeah, we have a snapstreak forten days. I was like, you
do, and she goes, ohmy gosh. She goes, well,
usually what happens is when someone searchesyou by name. I forget that what
she says, searches you by nameand wants to add you. It's like
probably some weird person from another schoolthat has no business trying to know you.
(48:04):
She goes, but nobody's named Quinnexcept Quinn. She goes. So
I opened it and I replied toher and I was like, is this
Quinn? And then Quinn replied yes, my mom finally let me have snapchat,
so hi. So they snap it. So they snap each other about
(48:25):
their days and I was like,does Quinn use it? Does Quinn use
it nice? And she was likeyes, what do you like? She
was annoyed that I even asked her, like what the mom? I was
like, I was just saying,and I was like, is Quinn like
is Quinn like, oh my god, our moms are so weird? She
goes, okay, mom. Firstof all, Quinn and I are not
thinking about you and her mom.We don't. When we snap each other,
(48:47):
it has nothing to do with you. So just for one moment,
think about how the world doesn't revolveron you. She was like, do
you know how weird it would befor I'm telling Amanda right now, how
are you? How you clowning meso bad? When I said would bring
(49:10):
yeah? And when you were like, we literally don't ever talk about you
guys, but thanks, well,if it makes you feel any better,
Lennox talks about you all the time. Oh, he this child he got
so he had his last baseball gameon Wednesday night and one of the coaches
(49:32):
bought all of the boys these reallyincredible like plastic rings and they're just like
encrusted in little crystals and like itlooks like a like a Super Bowl ring.
Yeah, and so he got itand he was like so pumped,
and he was like, oh,I've always wanted a chain, but like
I think that this ring is likeI think I can like not have a
(49:57):
chain, Like this ring is soamazing He's like, can you help me
make an outfit tomorrow that looks goodwith my ring because I want to wear
to school. And he's like,take a picture of me. Can you
send it to Melissa? What Iwas like, yeah, sure, yeah.
So then like two days later hetells me. He's like, because
he has an audio, goes,I'm gonna wear this in the spring when
(50:17):
Melissa comes so she can see it. And I was like, Okay,
that's really cool. We don't sendit today. I want to be that
Today. We're trying to like naildown where the kids would like to go
for their Christmas present, and Lennoxgoes, oh, well, if we
go back to New York, thenwe can see Melissa. Well listen,
(50:40):
so I think you're gonna think aboutchild dead ass or but Lennox might be
sprung. I don't know. He'scracking me up lately, like he's totally
what did he He did something theother day and Chris was like, why
are you doing that? And Iwas like, shut up, he's doing
(51:01):
it for the culture. He's thinking, what are you talking? We'll take
them all. This is, youknow, what a sweet little baby.
I don't send me the pic though, because I want him to share with
me his outfit, and you know, maybe I will adorn him with a
chain. You know, he sayshe wants a sonic chain for his birthday.
(51:23):
Not a sonic chain. Oh mightwe might have to make that happen.
He's he the other day. Idon't know if you're like, I
bet Sher does this. He wastelling me all of these things that he
wants for his birthday, and they'relike two hundred dollars sneakers. I said,
not when your feet grow every sixmonths, I'm not spending two hundred.
I was like, I don't evenspend two hundred dollars on sneakers for
(51:44):
myself. What are you talking about. Oh, he's on some other level.
That's because they see a bunch ofstuff. Now. Sheer is holding
her birthday's coming up, and she'slike, I have an idea for my
birthday and I was like, okay, normally, know how I tell you
everything that I want. She goes, how about like seven or eight of
(52:04):
my presents are just as surprise.I was like, I'm sorry, how
many? She's like, what shegoes you know where you just think of
it. And I was like okay, but how many. She's like,
it's hot a cut. He takessome prisons and she was like okay,
okay, okay, okay, fine, what about if we just go to
Dave and Busters. I was like, yeah, okay, hold on,
(52:25):
now you want a fucking seven hundreddollars birthday party? Which which is it?
Uh? Yeah? And like orShe'll take my phone and be like
Siri open Amazon. Oh yeah.Sheares little searches. They're little shoppers.
Now, they're little shoppers, andI don't know, it's wild. There
are little consumer children, and Ihave to constantly be like, we don't
(52:49):
need more stuff. We don't needmore stuff. I know. He's like,
I want the off White Scott Boca. Yes, And I was like,
how do you know about this stuff? But it's YouTube? Lenox said
he wants the off what sir?He wants to the Travis Scott Nike Mocha
you know who knows? M No, you're not having Oh he's you know
(53:15):
what though, He's about to getall the jobs and you're gonna have a
little hype beast in your house.Watch He's like, Mom, I need
this, I need this limited editionEames lounge. Come on, he is,
you know what, And just forthat, I'm gonna start saving our
little weird stuff because I have littleweird supreme things that have never been worn
(53:37):
and they're just sitting here and Isee them go on eBay for a long
time. But now you know Ihave a person who might be into that
type. Is Lenox. Yeah,it's him, your baby hype beast.
No, and and and we shouldhave known because remember when uh I therapized
you when you sent me the pictureof him with the two new you guys
(53:58):
new haircraft got the two new stripes, and I was like, I notice,
right, And then I was like, what about that light bulb moment
we had? Yeah, And Isaid, you do realize that you are
living vicariously through your son but alsohealing wounds, healing childhood wounds by allowing
your baby to have whatever hair hewants. It's true, and you be
(54:19):
letting him hal He had that bowlcut, which was crazy for a minute.
He's always cuting, so he's sosecure in himself and I love that
so much about him. We weretalking about that this weekend actually, because
he was playing video games. Heand his little friends, they all get
on a little group chat, andthen they play their video games together at
(54:42):
the same time, and one ofthe kids goes, hey, Lennox,
He's like, your hair is sofire, but it's also so trash.
Excuse me, I know. AndI was in the kitchen and I walked
in and I looked at him andI mouthed pause. So he put his
friends on mute, and I waslike, did your friend just tell you
that your new haircut is trash?He was like yeah, I said,
(55:06):
is he teasing, like in ajoking, fun way that like makes you
feel good? Or was that mean? And he goes, eh, I
mean I cut my hair for myselfand like I like it, so I
don't care what he thinks. Andin that moment, I was just like
it just kind of like compounded ontothat conversation that we had about, you
know, getting to like reparent myselfin that way. Yeah, and then
(55:30):
also raising because like as a kid, like that comment would have set me
into like a deep dark depression andthe fact that my kid was just like
it's fine, doesn't find Yeah,Well, it's so important to instill that
like inner confidence and inner fire inthem. Like I just assume my kids
(55:52):
are the underdogs in this world welive in, and by world we live
in, I mean in our littletown. I just assume my kids are
going to be the underdogs, andas a result, they have I have
said to them, you know,like if you see a person that nobody's
really talking to, you see aperson that seems kind of like a nerd,
always be open and always be niceand always invite them, you know,
be nice because you know it couldbe you. And sure enough,
(56:15):
like my kids have had a ragtaggroup of little friends. But it's so
important because it's fostering that sense ofself that like, I don't have to
be like you. I don't haveto comply. I don't have to fucking
conform to the shit you like.Even though I did just spend sixty five
dollars on a Kendra Scott necklace,I don't know if that's happening where you
are. Yeah, we already getWe already got that. She got it
(56:37):
up for Christmas last year. Oh, Maja just got here. So uh
yeah it's a thing I have.I can. It's a little it's a
little long ways oval Yep. Whatcolor did she get? I got her
baby blue? Cute one has alike a mint green one. Well Schelom
(56:59):
has three of and I was like, Shuli, why can't you just give
for that? And Selan was likeokay, I give for that. And
I was like why and she goeslike, well, first of all,
two of them are like you know, they were a gift. And then
Maj's like what from your boyfriend?Like really? And Selan was like why
don't you just shut up? AndI was like, okay, hold on,
what just happened? And then Iwas like, wait he was your
(57:21):
boyfriend because you guys said, She'slike, oh my god, I'm not
having this conversation. Door slam,Oh my god. All I was saying
is I didn't want to spend sixto five dollars like she can just borrow
shit, right, So who Well, congrats on having, you know,
kids that are raised right, becauseit's hard. Thank you. I feel
(57:44):
I feel really good. Honestly,I feel really good about my kid.
I sent her a whole novel onSunday night as I was sitting in my
hotel room thanking you know the Lordabove that we were headed home the next
day and I was like, you'rea man. You are smart. I
was like, you are funny youare so kind, and then she sent
(58:05):
you back one blue bubble that saidt y. You couldn't even spell it
out like yakoo or thumbs up emoji, just like bye, good night.
Yeah. Well, all right,thank you so much for listening to another
episode of Imperfect Strangers podcast. Thisis the part that, for some reason,
(58:29):
is way more challenging than making thepodcast itself. It's the part where
at the end we say thank youand then tell you where to find us
on all the places, because technicallywe do want you to find us at
all the places, want tell youto go do it. That's a little
intense, but we are asking youif you'd like to follow us on social
media. You can follow us onTwitter at imperf Strangers. You can follow
(58:50):
us on Instagram. That's the onethat has a lot of stuff going on.
That is the one account on socialmedia that'll tell you when we have
live events going on, when wego live on there to discuss an episode
in general, you know, funannouncements and whatnot. That's Imperfect Strangers Underscore
podcast on Instagram. We have aTikTok I love finding it. But whatever,
(59:15):
you know, we're on social media. Find us, but most importantly,
please continue to keep listening to us, and if you like us a
lot, you can hit us upon our Patreon account, where you get
bonus episodes. You can join adiscord and chat about literally everything under the
(59:35):
sun with all of your imperfect strangerfriends in a really nice community that we've
built. So check out our patreonfor bonus content. It's great. So
again, thank you so much forlistening, and come back here next week ish.
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