Reflections

Amanda and Melissa reflect on the making of this podcast and their subsequent warm and fuzzy friendship as they hit their sixth season finale and 120th episode. This has been a really great run-on sentence. Melissa and Amanda also answer listeners’ unresolved questions from previous episodes. *CONFETTI* A little post-script to say rest in power to the legend DJ Casper, creator of the iconic Cha Cha Slide. He passed this week and we found out while editing the episode, looking for the sound clip we included here. That song is a gift.

Episode Transcript

(00:11):
Too bad. Everybody just missed myyoung black and female and addicted to retail
conversation with you prior to hitting record, but you had to be there.
But guy, it was a doozy. I'm back on track. Yeah,
well, I feel like sometimes theseconversations have to happen. Yeah, they're
like you at some point before orafter. Yeah, you know, it's

(00:32):
like the it's like the what'd youcall it. It's the pre game before
the game, the opening acts,yeah, the fluffer. Yeah. So
anyway, I'm back on track.I'm feeling good about it. If they
want to fuck with me, thenI can make some phone calls. But
we all know I'm not gonna makephone calls because I didn't open the mail,
which is what got to be inthis problem in the first place.

(00:55):
I would probably start with the orthodontistsand be like, why how did you
who's doing your accounting? Don't youwant your money? I mean it was
it's like you're you're also half flattered, like, oh, you just knew
I was good for it, soyou weren't going to call me a time
when there was about you know,which is also you know it? Well,
what's even more annoying? When stufflike that happens, and like instead

(01:18):
of paying like two fifty two monthsin a row, now you have to
pay five hundred dollars at once,And even though it's the same amount,
it feels so much more painful topay it in that like larger lump sum.
I hate that. I hate alump sum. You know what I'm

(01:53):
saying. I want it, Okay, Well I want to. Well,
the reality is I don't want topay for that happen. I want to
paying that. That costs a lotof money and I don't want to pay
for it. Yeah. I justpaid off Schelm's braces in full. We
just paid them off. And solike, hey, that's too congratulations,
it's a big deal. And soI had to talk It's a big deal.

(02:15):
I had to talk with her.I was like, now it would
be the time for you to alwaysbe extremely paranoid and careful about how you
operate. Don't walk around here withyour shoes untied, don't be running up
the stairs and just socks, anddon't be fucking, you know, balancing
act on a boulder somewhere. Ifyou're fucking teeth somehow some way fall out

(02:38):
of your head through fault of yourown, not no fault through fault of
your own. I'm not fixing that, okay, because that's gonna put me
in a vicarious trauma. And Ijust paid all this money to make sure
that you have a pretty smile,So let's not do that. She's like,
oh my gosh, mom, likenobody's I was like a matter off.

(03:00):
You know what we should start now? We are going to we're not
biting into bagels, we're not bitinginto apples. We're we're shut in the
corn. Let's start treating our teethlike they're fake now, so that we
can establish I'm gonna give her acomplex. That's what I want them all
to have, all of them.You buy her a mouth guard, she

(03:23):
can wear that little to day.My children have never had cavities so far.
I'm like, I'm fourteen years in. It's like something I'm very like,
you know, proud of, eventhough yes, well probably because I
skipped baby toothpaste. I never wewent straight to the real shit. Oh
you did. And they're like they'rejust swallowing down Flora. They're like four

(03:47):
to five now fire, it's sospicy. So it's so spicy, mommy,
and I was like, well,do you want the maggots to come,
because that's not maggots. Oh mygod, I'd say all kind of
raw shit. This, well,this woman we showed pictures of meth mouth.

(04:10):
Yeah, you have to show thema rouse though you won't know you
do. Merci's I told you thisbefore. Mercy used to tell me that
if you cut yourself or if youget hurt, like if you if you
break skin, yeah, rice willcome out, but the rice will look
like maggots and you don't want tosee. Why would she tell me that?
My mom used to tell me ifI sucked on my hair, i'd

(04:32):
get worms. You will like ridiculousshit, Like wow, well you listened
though, and now you weren't thatgross quair. No. She also told
me if I looked in the mirrortoo much, my nose would grow,

(04:55):
and then I would stare in themirror at myself to see if I could
see my nose growing. Okay,yeah, she's violent. I like her
style, though, Listen, I'mthe same way with my girls. I'm
just like yeah, and I'll showthem parts of me where I'm like,

(05:15):
you know how I got this?I got this because I was sucking around.
I wasn't paying attention. See,and now I have the scar on
my Like, the reason why Ihave the scar on my leg is because
no one told me as a youngperson that I needed to open the vitamins
e capsules and put the ship directlyon the ship. So now I have
a scar here, I have chickenpox scars. I have scabs, you
know. Yeah, I mean therights of passage. Don't get me wrong,

(05:40):
They're required. You know, there'sno black girl alive that doesn't have
a scab, you know, scararea on her knee. Google, It's
a thing. We've probably talked aboutthis too, anyway. Yeah, yeah,
I I threatened them and very particularabout their teeth, especially because I

(06:01):
know that I'm going to be payingfor it if and when they fuck around,
and I'm going to be mad aboutpaying for it, because I'm mad
about paying for mine, you knowwhat I'm saying. I mean, it's
the best money I respect about it. Like, if if Shorty I would
have done his due diligence, I'mnever gonna let it go. If Shorty
would have got me in the orthodontiathat I needed, I wouldn't have these

(06:28):
problems that I have today. Yeah, I hate paying for these braces.
And when I was in yesterday,I said, I think we have one
more payment for Quinn. Can youdouble check that, because I don't want
to pay again, like for thismonth, or like have to pay again

(06:49):
later in this month at the sametime that I'm paying to put the braces
on Bennett's face. Yeah, soif we could just like offset it by
one month and then that way,like I won't miss the money. It'll
just already be coming out of fartbank account every month. So it was
nice the way that it worked out, and then we'll have a bit of
a break before. Let you knowwhat, Lennox's teeth are coming in very

(07:12):
straight. I have hope that thisboy might not need braces. Oh my
god, I listen, Mamage's teethare coming in really straight, slow,
really but really straight in and likewhere you're like, oh wow, I
hope it works out for me becauseI don't want to have to pay this.
I'm like, oh my god,half of my genetics can do it.

(07:34):
It can do I have proven I'veproven that I can do it.
Look justin we both came from adeficit, because you know that Justin has
a narrow paler and he should havehad that fixes job. But it's fine.
He's fixing it with a bus line. Now he gets so mad and
he's like, we talking a narrowpellet, and like you have narrow pallet,
you do, and when you're tired, you know, sometimes a smidge

(07:58):
of a lisp comes out. He'slike, I'm like, you know,
you might call it a long islandaccident. I'm telling you it's a narrow
palette. That is a that is, you know, obstructing the way that
your tongue operates at the roof ofyour mouth. And so there's a slight
list piece like those are fucking man, fuck you. Anyway, we were
both and listen, narrow palette versusclass two maleeclusion with an over jet,

(08:22):
not by over jet. Listen.I was jacked up. I was fucked
up. So the fact that thetwo of us with these recessive, raggedy
teeth were able to come through withMage's pretty smile. Listen, I gotta
hand it to myself, well done. You deserve so yeah, I hope

(08:45):
for you not to have to payfor Lennox's teeth too, because from your
mouth listening's ears. Well, we'vemade it to I've managed to literally be
entirely loquacious, loquacious word of theday, l o q u a c

(09:07):
i o us talkative. I've managedto be entirely too loquacious for one hundred
and twenty episodes. Give it up. We should give ourselves around the bass,
Amanda. Who would have thought?Who would have thought? Me?

(09:28):
Me? I thought I knew allalong? Really no, I don't know.
I was like what I at thispoint it would feel weird not doing
it. Listen, this is awe have. We have this is a

(09:52):
milestone. Six seasons, you know, one hundred and eighteen episodes, more
than some podcasts. No, nohelp or support except for each other and
our stranger friends. Yep, yepwas that shade? Maybe? Maybe listen

(10:20):
self taught clear evidence of crappy,clear evidence of growths as you listen from
the beginning of the catalog to nowa dedicated listenership. So like, you
know, do we have a millionlisteners? No, but the listeners that

(10:43):
we do have show up and showout. Thank you so much. We
could not have done We could nothave done this, and to be real
with you, would not have donethis if you didn't listen to this ship.
Yeah, so thank you for that. It's you haven't heard it yet,

(11:07):
but in this will be happening afterthey have heard it. At the
beginning of tomorrow's episode, I tellour patrons because I did a little Patreon
shout out for our newest patron members, and I said, you are the
Barbie to our ken. Without you, we would just be podcast So thank
you again. Oh that's really sweet, and we would just be podcasts.

(11:35):
And I you know, I hopethat week to week when you listen to
our show that it's kind of foryou really truly though, I mean the
the social experiment side of it too, Like can you make an actual friendship

(12:00):
long distance, uh, with somebodyyou've never met before? Like that's all
that's also been a really interesting Canyou start a creative project with somebody you've
never involved money and you've never Imean, I think I feel like there's
like some scientific experiment in this becausethink about the risk involved in that.

(12:26):
You know, like you technically knewabout me, but you didn't know if
I had work ethic or if Iwas a moron. You didn't know.
Yeah, you know what I mean. I couldn't know. Yeah, are
you you? You could have beena dead ass scammer. I would not
have known. Nah, right,So, like there was a lot of

(12:50):
risk involved. Yeah, you knowwhat I'm saying. Like now that I'm
having a moment to like sit hereand marinated, I'm also quite high.
I'm like, wow, yeah,yeah, I had no clue. I
had never worked with anybody in thiskind of capacity before. Shit. Yeah,

(13:11):
as controlled, that was real,bold as controlling and weird as I
am about how i use social mediaand about whether or not I'm in the
mood to share, Yeah, ina public space. This this was me

(13:31):
fucking bass Necke at the seven eleven. Just what is you doing? Girl?
And through you know, fortifying alevel of trust and building an actual
real friendship, I don't even feelweird about that ship, you know what

(13:56):
I mean? Like I don't either, No, I don't either. It's
so funny and it's so funny likethe little tendrils that have extended then like
into like the wider stranger friend worldAnd to think that, I don't know,

(14:16):
the whole thing has just been areally interesting experience. But it's it's
kind of wild to think that,like we're headed into you know, the
second half of we're in the secondhalf of our third year and going into
a seventh season, and like allof the people that we've met along the

(14:37):
way, we've met twice in person, Like it's just really strange but then
not, but then not, likeI feel like I've known you forever sometimes
and I have to remind myself that, like you're still a quote unquote new
friend. But the other weirder partis some of the listeners that came to

(14:58):
the show via you know, randomlyfollowing me on other social media platforms,
like, yeah, with them,I'm hitting you know, twelve, fourteen,
sixteen years of friends in my head, Yeah, twenty years. Even

(15:20):
some people are friends in my headand they have become stranger friends with the
new stranger friends who just got here. Yeah, but like the it's a
real like you know, people sayit's they throw community around, this fucking
community. Yeah, we have ano for real though, motherfucker's experienced death

(15:41):
and we show up. Yeah,motherfuckers, get get get get a new
job, and we're like fuck yeah, like it. I don't know how
we would explain this, like ifwe had to fucking ride it on a
wall, you know, as hieroglyphicsfor the next people that come. I
don't know how we would explain ormaybe we don't have to explain it.

(16:03):
Maybe it's just like I don't thinkwe have to. You know what this
is? This is This is areal digital example of humanity. That's what
the fuck it is? Mm,that's what it is. Because it required
a lot of you know, shouldit require trust? It required consistency,

(16:29):
which you know it's hard, well, it is hard when you have a
gang of kids. Oh, whenkids are your gid just the yeah,
and just the coordination of schedules,just trying to find that time during the
week that works for both of youthat is long enough and you're not.

(16:52):
And I think the other part ofit too, that probably not many people
would think about, is that likeif if you're not in the emotional space
to have a conversation and like tryto be thoughtful or funny or interesting,
it's not happening. It's really nothappening. It has to be the perfect
storm of both people being like,yes, let's do this, we have

(17:15):
something to talk about, and wehave the time. It's just and be
hectic, and then you got torecover from sometimes the guilt that you have
that you weren't able to do it. It's like, dude, it's okay,
you weren't able. Yeah, youguys just had a hour long conversation

(17:37):
about squeegees. Shit was boring.It's okay about you know what I'm saying.
Yeah, fuck it sucks, that'sokay. It's not a wasted effort.
It's just that one's not going togo out and that's okay. You
remember when we hit that wall forlike four episodes straight. It was excruciating.
It felt so bad. Yeah,I was like, why do we

(18:03):
feel bad? We're are our ownboss. But I felt it creatively,
it felt bad, really bad,like and with it being the first like
to so consistently, I think theother thing that may not be like completely
obvious is recordings aren't just an hourclean. It's usually you know, anywhere
from like an hour to an hourand a half, and an hour is

(18:26):
going to produce a forty five minuteepisode on average, and an hour and
a half it's going to get youlike write it sixty minutes. Sometimes it's
two hours, and it's forty fiveminutes for the one thing and it's two
thirty minutes for the other one.So but then I'll shore vall you and
then we're chopping things up and thisI feel like this thirty minutes went better
with that thirty minutes. So maybewe can you know, yeah, like

(18:49):
maybe people don't do that, butI don't know. I would be really
curious. Yeah, like how doy'all do it? How do y'all put
together your shows? And listen?We've put out stuff that I have felt
in my heart was a dud.Yeah, but I'm like, we worked

(19:11):
really hard on it, and youknow, if you love it, I
love it. And I'm sure thatyou know we've had stuff that you didn't
particularly love, but we put itout, you know. Yeah. Yeah,
and that's the trade off, youknow, where sometimes you're I have
to feel ninety percent about everything thatgoes out. Yeah, if it dips

(19:34):
down below that, I'm like,this is a bee a bee though well,
and sometimes it takes a few listensAnd I don't know why exactly,
but like I wasn't really super intothe Barbie conversation, and I don't think

(19:56):
that you were either hated it hatedit. I listened to it again today
and I was like, no,this is actually good, but I hate
it. It the whole time Iwas working on it, I hated it.
Well. I loved doing it,I loved having the conversation, loved
doing it, felt fucking great,and hearing it back I felt great about
it. Towards the end of theconversation, I was like, oh,

(20:18):
fuck, was that just a giantword salad? And I'm going to sound
like an actual dumbass. And thenonce you put it out, you're a
dumbass. You can't take that back. You did say that ship though Melissa's
right there point me to it.Oh no, I have the transcript.
See look, which is another thingthat I have to work through, you
know, because yeah, it can'talways be perfect. And also times are

(20:41):
going to change. Language is gonnachange, Feelings are going to change,
You're going to evolve as a person. And like, I rue the day
where I have to go back andlisten to episode seven. I don't want
to hear that shit you no thanks, but it fucking exists. But it
could be worse. It exists.And I put it out there, and
I agreed to put it out there, and and and and at the time

(21:04):
of episode seven, I felt ninetypercent about that, So that's okay.
But that's a struggle too, whereit's like I'm like Jill Scott. Sometimes
I'm like, or we could justbe silent, you know what I'm saying,
Like we don't have to. I'mnot. I know I probably sound

(21:29):
eurotic and crazy, but there havebeen times where I've been up at two
in the morning like, oh fuck, that's on the internet. Fuck.
I know, I get the textmessage like breakdown. When you wake up
at six am and you see awall of blue and you're like, oh
god, she spiraled again. Shehates that episode, Melissa, that was
seven episodes ago. You're still thinkingabout that. It's always because you've eaten

(21:53):
a gummy. Gosh, darn thosegummies. How many times have the gummy?
And then sometimes you'll you'll see thelight, but very rarely, though
very rarely, when you'll get up, you'll see it at six am and
then by nine am like not ascool. You can keep it on it.
You don't have to take that down. But I I you know,

(22:17):
this is a We live in aworld and in a society where you're not
allowed to grow and change, whereyour opinion is not allowed to evolve.
And I say this as a personwho is very begrudgingly giving out forgiveness.
So giving out forgive these nuts.Yeah, you know, like I'm yeahs

(22:41):
hashtag forgive these nuts. You knowexactly who the fuck I am. But
at the same time, I'm holdingmyself to my own standard of you really
said that ship though, I hatethat bitch, you know what I mean.
Like, yeah, So, likethere's a piece to me that's like,
uh, this was this is thiswas an era, this was great.

(23:04):
Please enjoy these three years of mylife. And now I'm going to
go dark, you know. Butthen I'm like, but I have one
more thing I had to stay rightquick, you know. So so it's

(23:27):
hard. It's hard. Look atus at one hundred and twenty episodes and

(24:52):
six seasons. That's crazy. That'sactually it actually is, like it's not
crazy to anybody in podcast world whohas gotten way farther, but for an
independent podcast made by busy moms,that's crazy. It's it's actually crazy.
Like Girl, the consistency, it'sa it's a lot of hours of talking

(25:18):
to you on the phone. It'sa lot of hours of coming up with
things to say that at least atthe time we think are interesting, entertaining,
and then it's a lot of hourslistening to yourself back try and make
yourself sound less stupid. It's listen. It was a dedicated effort, Like

(25:47):
I'm genuinely proud of us. Iam. Yeah, I am too.
You gotta go find the applaud soundand put that in there. I'm just
gonna say, do you think Meganand Harry will call us and tell us
that they're proud of listen for ahard work, or if they could call

(26:11):
us and find out how to putout content because we were able to do
what they do twelve episodes, twelvein one year for how much money?
She was a statistic? Millions?Was it twelve? Was the deal?
Twelve million dollars? I don't knowif that was like just for that first

(26:34):
season or if it was for likeit was twenty million dollars exactly. No,
I think it was twenty million dollars. We'll have to google it and
fact check it. Whatever, itwas millions of fucking dollars. Too much
money, Well, it was millionsof dollars. And then today People magazine

(26:55):
came out and they said they actuallySpotify, Spotify's fault that they didn't set
them up for success. And I'monly oh, it is a song of
the narcissist, everyone but themselves.I'm only I'm only saying I'm only saying
this. This is this is aconversation we are having from an independent podcast

(27:15):
perspective. Okay, yes, sowe are talking about two people who bought
equipment on Amazon. We are talkingabout two people who downloaded a free app
called Audacity that we didn't even knowabout until we were a guest on someone
else's podcast. Remember after I wason, Yeah, you were so excited.

(27:37):
I was on with b List andI was like, girl, he
had me download this shit, Girl, this is going to be the way
because we were using Skype. Bitch, Skype one audio track, Skypepe one
audio track, and then the nerve, the nerve to be trying to edit
it. Bitch, How I didthough? I did? How were we

(28:02):
doing being being long yep bing bongbing. First of all, the fact
that you I had a Skype accountto access to me, I was like,
I think I have that. Ihad never used Skype prior to that
time. That was my first time. I was so nervous. I wouldn't

(28:25):
know how to use it, dude. Skype Skype twenty nineteen, twenty twenty
is literally aol in podcasting world,like we have come. It really is
so oh my god, far,so far in terms of like what we've

(28:52):
learned skill set wise, even justhow we organize our content, even how
we organize our our show notes,which are not for consumption, but like
the way that we have a systemto discuss the day to day production of

(29:15):
the show. It's a fucking realshow. I mean yea. If Spotify
wants to set us up for successby building a podcast studio in our monicito
home, yeah, I started saying, how you only got twelve episodes out
of twenty Oh the places we go, Oh my gosh, you remember it,

(29:41):
Like our first Patreon payday. Wetook that money and we bought my
computer because my old computer could nothandle the size of the files, and
that felt like a huge win.We couldn't handle the size of the two
files. Win. It was ridingthe struggle bus real hard. Oh,

(30:04):
I remember that herewin. But Iused to hear you on the other end
of the microphone click and hold on. Oh the fan was so loud.
Oh my god, it was heavy. Oh such a mess. And it's
just to read stories like that,it feels really insulting, and it feels

(30:25):
insulting. I think it was AdamDevine who also was like podcasting is really
easy, and it's just it feelsbad when you are somebody or somebody's who
are out there and you are theyou know, you're the producer, you're
the talent, you're the content creator, you're the graphic designer, you're the
editor, you're the sound mixer.Like you wear a lot of hats and

(30:49):
I sometimes it feels a bit likejack of all trades, master of none,
but we don't have the resources tolike afford to hire somebody. Like
we paid Eric and then we werelike we can't afford to pay Eric and
Eric was like, dude, youguys actual suck. Yeah, he was

(31:12):
like, this is one track andit sounds crazy. Like he's like,
I don't remember when he goes,I'm actually gonna feel bad taking your money
because I don't know if you canfix this sound. Do you remember when
I completely insulted him by asking himif he could like just do a little
lesson with He's like bitch, sucha fucking idiot. Oh. He was

(31:37):
like, I don't think you understand. I was like, I'm a professional
sound engineer, I build studios,I work with real audio talent. I
e. Bands that are on thefucking billboard. Who are you again,
lady? Every time I'm come upback, Hey, I got your chocolate

(32:00):
milk. Hey man, thanks forhelping us with that foul And I would
be casual with it because I hadno idea just how helpful he could have
been if we would have brought himsomething that was usable. And I remember
Justin being like, Babe, Ilove you and and I really want you

(32:23):
and Amanda to succeed. Don't don'tbother him, please. I was like,
but we don't know how to pressthe button on the thing though,
And he's like, he can't.You guys got to figure it out,
You guys, I believe in youboth. Remember when Justin didn't even really

(32:45):
did he believed in you. He'slike, dude, man's figured out.
No. Sometimes I think you feignincompetence on some of these things just so
you don't have to do that,which is fine. I'm more than happy.
I do believe that you would bevery capable. No, the things
that you do I couldn't do.I have to be honest, I'm not

(33:07):
kidding. If you told me toput the two files together, level the
sound and edit that shit, Iwould be like, nah, bro,
I can just what order do Ipush the buttons to do all the things
you just said? What are youtalking about? I couldn't. There's that

(33:30):
you you you have a technical expertisethat I could try to achieve, but
it would be a wasted effort becausewe know my brain can't do it.
It's exactly how I feel about yourediting. I could, it would take
me so very long. I couldnever do it as cleanly as you do.

(33:52):
So it works out that we bothhave just different talents. Yeah,
yeah, so you know, Ithink a tech brain with an editorial brain
on top of you know, beingin the same seasons of life. It
was all just a kind of aperfect you know, all these things had

(34:15):
to align in order for this shipto work. And so I say to
you podcasting partner, mozels Off,we did it. Oh, we did
it. I can't believe it.I can't believe we did it. It's
really great. I'm like, reallyhappy. So how are we commemorating this
season finale? Questions? Well,I asked, we got questions. I

(34:37):
asked our stranger friends, do youhave any questions from anything that we've talked
about in season six? And theysaid, yes, we do. So
without further ado, I would liketo start though here first with a little
rose. This is not a question, but this is just a lovely comment
from our friend King Belly, andKing Belly says, I just want to
send you both the most love.As I know, this year has been

(34:58):
up and down for y'all. Thankyou. They love that. For us,
thank you, it really has beenup and down down. It's taking
us seven seven months to finish theseason. We're usually like twelve weeks and
onto the next one. Really,yes, thank you for Yeah, it
usually takes us twelve weeks. Ithink like three four months. Well,

(35:22):
no, I take that back,maybe like four or five. If we're
like, if we're really on time, then it would be it would be
five, right, because if wewould do one episode a week, we're
not that far mind. I meanI might have a five roid though,
So, like I've had some stuffgoing on. Shit, we're gonna listen.

(35:45):
The train is still on the tracks. I'm proud of us. We
did all of this without twenty milliondollars go ahead, or a team or
anybody. Okay, yeah, okay, So stuff with a NF says,
I've got one. And maybe Imissed this and the discord, but whatever

(36:07):
happened to Lloyd, Lloyd is huge. Amanda was here, Okay, I
had no idea Lloyd was huge.So the first time Amanda and I actually
the second time Amanda and I metin person and hung out, and the
first time she was in my personalhome, which is a very big deal

(36:30):
because you know, I do notbe having motherfuckers in my house. And
when I say motherfuckers, I meanthat lovingly about you. I don't be
having motherfuckers in here ever. Andso if if if you're in here,
you know you're safe space and we'recool. We're cool on a level.

(36:52):
I'll take you to the airport.That's the level. And you did,
and I actually did, picked meup, picked you up, and took
you to the airport for dinner.So I was nervous about Manda coming over
because she'd never been in my homebefore, and I am a kind of
person where if you're coming into myhouse. I like my house to be

(37:15):
a very specific level of pristine,which we call oprah ready. Yeah,
and my house wasn't oprah ready becauseI'd had a revolving door of guests and
it was a big weekend of youknow about Mitzvah celebrations, and there were
cards everywhere, shoes everywhere, clothes, et cetera. It was you know,
it wasn't pristine. It was clean, but it wasn't magazine. It

(37:37):
didn't look crazy. I mean,I hope not. It was clean,
but it was a magazine. No. But it was like the it was
like the party level of clean,right because how you had food on the
island. There was food on thetable, so like there, I mean
that was really like the only likeif you want to say clutter, Like
there wasn't anything in your living room. The hallway was clean. The basement

(37:58):
steps like at the bottom was justshoe. It wasn't bad, but there
wasn't even anything. It was clean, but it wasn't a magazine Like I
would have all those shoes away,you know what I'm saying. The food
would not have been out. Itwas yea and but funk all that I
was most concerned with when you walkinto this house, doesn't smell like hamster

(38:20):
piss, because you know, that'sthe thing that I am most concerned about
ever since I've gotten nose blind,because this motherfucker is a year old.
Do you remember when we first gothim, that first week that we got
him, Yeah, I couldn't.I couldn't sleep. I was like,
y'all, don't smell this fuck.It smells like dogs in here. And
they were like, first of all, it's a hamster in a cage.
Wagh the fuck over there? Andso I was happy when Amanda reported I

(38:45):
don't smell hamster, Melissa, whichwas great, But I also was riding
Mage's ass that weekend and I wasjust like, you change his piss,
things change so big. He's huge. Would you say he's the size of
a cantaloupe half a candle. He'snot that big. He's like the size

(39:05):
of a navel orange. Dude,he's huge. I didn't know that giant
until you said it. Didn't youlook at any other ones at pet Smart
I had no part at first ofall, I would never go in that
store. Who goes in there?What's what? How do you buy?
Who buys it? The supplies.I'm not doing any of that. Okay,

(39:29):
that's Justin's problem. That's that's daddytime. Yeah, they go to
lunch together, they come back withitems from that motherfucker. I don't don't
know, and I don't want tosee this shit. I don't want that
ship. I've never been in there. I don't go in there interesting because
I know it smells like molting snakesand fucking rats and there. So anyway,

(39:52):
I was really happy that my housedoesn't stink, is the answer to
whatever happened to Lloyd. Lloyd's aliveand well and potty trained. He has
a corvette, he has a penthouse. Sweet, he has changing what do

(40:15):
you call that stuff that the fluffthat you put in there. Oh,
his betting. He has different bettingevery week. Sometimes it's white, sometimes
it's purple, sometimes it's blue.Sometimes it's mermaids, sometimes it's pink.
Lloyd had a birthday party June twentyninth, June twenty ninth, July twenty
nine, one of his one ofthose days is his birthday, and Maja

(40:37):
had a countdown, like you knowwhen you do the Christmas thing, the
wed and the little chain. Yeah, Maja had to count down to this
motherfucker's birthday. He had a kUh, he got gifts even though I
got him a gift. Uh.Lloyd's doing great unfortunately, so good for

(41:00):
Lloyd. All right, Okay,King Belly does have a question, and
the question is did Melissa find outif the lady with the illegal kennel moved
or just finally got stopped? Okay, I think I can't. I can't

(41:22):
confirm until my next town meeting whenI get nosy. I think that the
kennel was essentially shut down because theystarted asking more and harder questions. But
Justin thinks that she's on her wayout. So because she's on her way

(41:43):
out, she can't do the thingsthat she was doing. So who knows,
but it has been much quieter.We'll have to keep us posted,
especially if they put a for salesign out in the yard. We're not
allowed to have that. But yeah, oh really, well, you guys
are fancy fancy. Listen. Youknow, like how people know your house

(42:07):
is for sale? I don't know, because no detritus, But if they
put it on a tree, Idon't know. We get these little like
cards in the mail. Interesting mmOkay, wait that's not a thing.
What I mean, we get cards. It's like hey I just sold your

(42:29):
neighbor's house or like this house wasjust listed in your neighborhood. But like
yeah, that's no. We havesigns, we get signs out. No,
I don't. I think I thinkwe're not allowed to have that.
Mmm. But I mean your cityor like just your neighborhood. No,
our our our little shit here.Remember, okay, we're really mean about

(42:50):
everything. Remember like people were inthis meeting melting down crying about not being
allowed of pet of tree and they'velived here for forty years. Like you're
not having at except for the ladyon the corner. Okay, go ahead,
okay, okay. Christographer and Casked, how is my dad doing?

(43:14):
My dad doing? My dad doingmy dad is doing? Okay,
chemo is really hard. I definitelydidn't edge his neck yesterday and then save
his hair and a zip black baggylike a creep. What you're gonna have

(43:34):
to elaborate? What do you wait? What? Because he's just like he's
just like losing it and if itwhat if it doesn't come back? And
then like what if someday, LikeI want a lock of his hair and
I can't have it, so Ilike, you know, I like shaved
his neck for him, and thenI like acted like I was going to

(43:55):
throw it away, but I putit on my counter. I don't know
what I'm gonna do with it,So hold on. You can while there's
Well, now that you're saying it, you're going to start getting ads on
Instagram. I'm not even kidding you. Where you can get it ground up
and made into a little sand andput in a little time a little hour

(44:16):
glass on a gold chain that youwear. You can put it in a
little personalized memorial cage thing that girl. Yeah, there's a million. I'm
such a weird. I'm such alittle weird witch like that. Like I
want to have my kids baby teeth. I want the same tooth for each
of them, cast in silver,and I want to wear it on a

(44:37):
necklace because I have all their teeth. Yeah, you definitely is different.
I think it would be so cute. Yeah, yeah, I know it's
weird to stay out loud, butlike, I don't know. Okay,

(45:01):
moving on, Well, my dadis doing okay, Chemo sucks. He's
having a hard time with it.He doesn't like it. He has six
more months. Please keep him inyour thoughts. We will Okay, okay,
okay, I said, I don'tprobably have time for these feelings nat

(45:23):
kind of party. What's the nextmotherfucker question? Okay, the next thing
on the docket said, we arenot doing this, but thank you.
Yes, you fix my bangs.Is Melissa coming to Cincinnati? Yes?
Yes, So my girlfriend Maren andI need to start planning a trip.

(45:46):
She would like to go when theCincinnati MD Reds play, and so we
are going specifically for that. Butyou know what I was thinking to do.
Maybe it'll start being chilly by thetime I get there, and then

(46:07):
we really can't take that trip tothe first Store. Oh wouldn't that be
fun? You know what I'm saying. So, yes, first store anytime.
It doesn't have to be Chili.We just turned down the ac.
It's open all the time. Yes, who's what are they doing? The
summer never rests? They sell furs. I'm sure they have other stuff.

(46:29):
Oh okay, do they have No, that's kud Silvas. We have it.
We have another store here called kudSilvas, but they sell real furs
and prom dresses and bridle And Iwas about to say, oh, well
they have, but no, that'sthe other competitor. Could Silvas hopefully their
commercial? Yes, hopefully I getdown to Cincinnati before the end of twenty

(46:54):
twenty three. Down to up todown too, yeah, up to wait?
No? Down two? Down two? Or to the side of where
the fuck is Ohio? To theleft? Take it back now, y'all
one half this time? Brow Ilove that song. If that comes on

(47:21):
at a wedding, I am oneand ten percent on the Oh my god,
okay, is Melissa still an athlete? And are the becks still Yogis

(47:42):
the becks are no longer? Yogi'sHot Yoga did a number on us.
I am not as enlightened as Iwould like to be and could not stop
thinking about dirty feet. So itjust wasn't the place for me. I
would like to try to get backinto it. Uh, but it's it's

(48:05):
not in the cars for right now. I will be honest and say,
and Amanda and I've had conversations aboutthis offline because it's it's it's very demoralizing
and depressing when you were on areally good streak. So I was consistent

(48:27):
for six whole months going to thegym three or four times a week,
felt really great about it, feltreally strong. Body wasn't changing that much,
but that's that's that was to beexpected and normal because I am a
forty plus year old woman going throughhormonal changes. There are certain parts of
my body that that's the body,baby, that's it. But I was

(48:52):
feeling great. I think emotionally Iwas feeling great. I was way nicer.
Justin Beck was like, Yo,you're fucking really cool, which he
normally is not saying that he lovedgoing to the gym with me. And
then we got very busy, yeah, with wall to wall occasions and celebrations

(49:14):
and you know, children, childrening, and I just couldn't make it.
And once you miss, so you'regoing four days a week, then you
you go three days a week,and then you're like, you know what,
I'm not gonna be able to makeit. Then you go one day
a week, then you just don'tgo, and you just keep not going
for three weeks, four weeks,five weeks, and then you go,

(49:37):
oh fuck, I'm paying for this, and then you go and when you
return it is so hard. It'sharder than when you went the first time.
After you haven't been forever. It'smiserable, would you agree? One
hundred percent? Yes, anytime thatI've had to take off because I was

(50:01):
sick and then the kids were sick, and so you know, it was
like it could be sometimes two threeweeks where I would just be like attending
to some sick person in my house, and then by the end of the
day or like, you know,it really had to be the end of
the day actually, now that Isay that out loud, because I couldn't
leave them and go to do aworkout unless Chris was home, and so

(50:24):
then by the time he got home, all he wanted to do was just
sit in a dark room by myselfand decompress from the day. But you
know, vacations or you know,life just gets busy. And I used
to be really really good about likehaving my appointment time, and I was
really great about that for like Iwould pick the time that worked for my

(50:45):
that season of life, and youknow, I would keep it like three
four years, and then it wouldhave to change, and so then that
would be my appointment time, andI would always keep it. Like when
the kids were really little, Iwould wait until after their nap and then
we would go at like three o'clockin the afternoon. The gym was empty,
the child watch was empty. Icould go get done when I needed
to. I would have time tothen let them swim, tire them out,

(51:07):
and then I would run through Chickfil A and feed them on the
way home, and my job wasdone for the day. So it was
like a really nice like family activityfor the three of us and for four
years straight. And yes, becauseChris was traveling all the time too,
So like you are a phenomenal woman, Okay, I joined a gym because

(51:32):
I needed that time when Quinn andBennett were little, to like put them
in the child watch and like havean hour and a half away. I
would go into the locker room andshower and dry my hair sometimes before I
would go pick them up from thechild Watch, just so that I could
like have that opportunity to feel goodabout myself for the day. It was

(51:53):
huge part of my life. Solately I've just been struggling because then I
twenty nineteen, I started teaching again. So from twenty well, I started
teaching a little bit after I hadQuinn, so like twenty nine, two
thousand and nine to having been it. I taught and then it took a
big break, and then I startedback again in twenty nineteen and I was

(52:15):
teaching seven days a week, andit was just like once that stopped in
February, I didn't know what todo with myself, Like I hadn't gone
to the gym for pleasure, andlike you know, three years, four
years, so four years of onand then four years of off. Yeah,

(52:36):
and see I was I this andeven still I don't because when you
say you're teaching, like I justassumed that that's also working out, But
it's not the same as if youwere working, well, it depends.
It's not the same because it's notthe kind of workout that I would do
for myself. And you know,when you're teaching, your responsibility is towards

(52:59):
your student. So I may seesomething glaring in one of my clients,
I need to go back there andI need to make a correction. So
then that means I'm stopping. Soit was it was, you know,
sixteen minutes of hard physical activity,but it wasn't exactly what I would be
doing if they were just like inthe gym on my own. And so

(53:22):
are you trying to get back.Well, I joined some fitness classes.
I got a free trial to alittle uh boutique fitness place and did I
had like a free like month,So I did it. I liked it,
and then I got forty four dollarsfor four weeks I could go to

(53:44):
unlimited classes. In every class thatI went to, they gave me a
five dollar credit, so that Iyes, So I went. It was
crazy, So I went, andI decided, I mean, it's basically
six dollars. No, but no, because they gave me five dollars a

(54:05):
class. How did I do that? Math so quick? Though? I'm
serious, I'm retracing my steps,and I don't know how I got to
the six dollars, but I gotto the six dollars. Hold on,
so you said forty four. Holdon, let me figure out how I
did this. You said forty fourdollars. Okay, she said forty four
dollars. I'm high to She saidforty four dollars. Did you say four

(54:28):
weeks? It was forty four dollarsfor four weeks, eleven dollars a week
unlimited, and then every class youwent to they gave you five. That's
where I got the six dollars,bitch. Oh, well they gave me.
So they give you the five dollarseach class, and then you can
apply that total to your first monthat your full price. Oh so even
with those additional terms, it wouldn'thave been six dollars. So I was

(54:52):
just brugging. You were so excitedthough, I said, I'm going to
give me your moment. Wow.So then the math I just didn't matter
at all because you weren't on tellingme the rest of the equation. Okay,
whatever. So she's back in thegym. I'm back in the gym.

(55:13):
I'm working out for fitness, notfor winning at life, which is
a huge change me too. DressinBeck and I rejoined after taking a six
week hiatus, and we were struggling. Yeah, we were struggling. Dress
and Beck at one point had toleave the class and I was like,
damn, whole cool world, Idon't even be checking on him. I'm

(55:36):
like, I'm not about to losemy splat points for this shit. I
hope he wouldn't either. Oh mygod, I wouldn't either. Comes up
and she's like, is everything okay? I'm like, girl, you could
check on him. I can't.I don't this. Chris is gonna come
up to me after he hears this, and he's like, you really didn't.

(55:57):
You wouldn't come check on me.If I had to leave a gym
class, I would be the sameway. No, I'm not going to
miss out on this. I haveto win keep it. After I just
said, I'm here for fitness andnot winning. Well, every time I
look over at justin screen, he'sin the red and I keep telling him,
like, Babe, you should notbe in the red for more than
thirty seconds. It's bad for you. Stop being in the red. Do
we have life insurance? Why areyou in the red for seven minutes?

(56:17):
This is crazy? And like Ilike to stay in the orange, like
I like, I go green andthen when I'm about to hit orange,
I like to stay there for aslong as possible. And once I see
it declining down again, I'm like, oh shoot, I gotta push myself
again. And I'll like, youknow, increase my incline or I'll increase
my speed. I'll be bullshitting though, I'll increase my speed by like a

(56:38):
point one point two. This littledad will do me. It all counts
good for you. And so I'mlike, you gotta stay in the orange
because when you're in the red,your heart's working too hard. I'm like,
didn't you read the paper? Andhe was like, it's fine,
I can't it. But I thinkhe likes being in the red. And
then I try to explain him.I'm like, Babe, when you're the

(56:59):
only person in red and you're strugglingreally bad and everybody else is in green
or orange, I think it justmeans you're the least fit. And he
didn't like that. He's like,bitch, I'm working out. He's like,
okay, I'm in beast mode.That's what I'm doing. They might

(57:21):
be working as hard as you,but they've conditioned themselves to be able to
hang out in the orange zone.I mean, i'd be looking at him
like, okay, girl, ifyou want to seem like the less less,
you know, fit of the peoplein here, you like you can
have, you should have one minutein the red just as a you know,
just as a reminder to be like, yo, be mindful, watch

(57:45):
your breathing. Yeah yeah, whenyou have twelve red points, you don't
post it on your Instagram and belike boom, how about that. I'm
like, that's not a look interesting. Well, and that's probably why he
burned out. He probably went toohard, too fast, and then just
couldn't sustain that level of activity andthen he had to go. So maybe

(58:06):
tell him he'll look a little less, you know, weak if he can
last and hang for the whole time. Dude, after every class he's like,
bro, my fucking knees, dude, my fucking back, my shoulder,
and I'll just be like, mylegs hurt a little, you know,
like like what's wrong. He's like, so I really I'm gonna need

(58:29):
a massage. Oh no, youknow, like he'd be trying to get
into a polar bath. Like,dude, Like, it's just it's a
six, it's a sixty, it'sa sixty minute Orange theory class. You
are not training as a gold medalistfor anything. Like you got to relax.

(58:52):
And he's see him with the IronMan anytime. So hey, he
doesn't care. He's like, okay, haters, he's not listening to a
word I say. He loves.He loves being in the red, he
loves sweating his ass off. Hethinks he's killing it. He gets in
the car and he's like, dude, he'll be like, like, you

(59:13):
know, he'll be like stretching hisshoulders out and ship before he starts driving,
he'll be like for real though,He's like, I definitely like look
really good. I'm like you dothe other day. I mean, it
makes he likes it, you know, he likes to work out the other
day. It's good. It's goodfor him. He can feel so confident

(59:35):
about his body. He had abeautiful day in the city. He had
gorgeous weather. He's walking around.He you know, he had a couple
of meetings and so we're at wehad a double date with Jen and Matt
are you know, a long timestranger friends, longtime stranger listeners friends in
real life, and uh, youknow, we were talking about her day,

(59:57):
this and that and the other,and then how nice the wea there's
been blah blah blah, and youguys still working out now, you know,
we picked it back up. Wefell off a little bit. We're
talking about wars theory and she's like, you know, I've been taking hip
hop glass and he's like, no, they ride the peloton or whatever.
You know, Yeah, and thenJustin goes, you know, I gotta
be honest. I was in thecity today. Definitely felt like people were

(01:00:20):
looking. You know, I waslike okay, and I was like,
cause that body right, He's like, I mean, you know, because
he wears such tight fitting clothes,so you can totally see it under that
big white T shirt and his Hand M pants. He well, justin
next got a new uniform. Nowhe wears it. Oh yes, Now

(01:00:40):
he wears a custom fitted black Tshirt with black Nike texts and then Nike
and he's very cute. He's verycut. His new dad uniform, she
long calls it a day like shedoesn't like his shoes. She's like,
those are dad's shoes and he goes, well, yeah, well because he
can't wear the other ones now becauseeighth grade girls wear them. You know,

(01:01:05):
it's true. He's like, dude, are they just gonna wear those
every days? Like they're gonna wearthem and they wear them dirty, So
you looked really fresh and clean andcorny to every teenager in this town.
And like he's pissed because those werehis shoes for like twenty years. Anyway.

(01:01:27):
Oh yes, so somebody would havesaw that coming. The answer to
the question is Melissa has resumed beingan athlete. Justin Beck has always been
an athlete Amazon. Uh, whatdo you call a man if he's Amazon?
Is a woman? Oh? Likehercules? Yes? Is that what
we're saying? Are you you're tryinglike you're saying like like, if you're

(01:01:52):
referring to like a beautiful strong womanlike wonder woman, Adonis would be like
an Amazonian. Oh and Adonnis,Oh my god. Yeah, did I
tell you that Chris used to referredto his bod as an Adonis bod.
He still still sometimes does. Imean, that's what they think, That's
what they Chris is like, whyis that a fact? I means,

(01:02:15):
why is that a topic of conversation? Like the Yeah, I could see
him being like, yeah, I'man Adonis. Wasn't he going to the
gym with YouTube? Wasn't it.Weren't y'all doing like a bootleg kind of
thing? Not bootleg boot camp fora long time. Yeah, we worked

(01:02:36):
out together a lot, and thenit just got hard, and then we
tried to do yoga, and thenyou know, once spring sports started up,
that killed every single night of theweek, and so then we just
said, fuck it, it's notthe time for yoga together. But he
did tell me this week that hewould like to come to class with me.
So I think on Saturday morning.So I this summer, I have

(01:02:59):
worked on Saturday to give one ofour other department leads a break because she
usually always works Saturdays during the yearand I can't when my kids are in
school. So all that to say, I think, once I'm done with
my shift on Saturdays, we canstart going early in the morning and take
a class together, which would bereally nice. I think he would like

(01:03:22):
it. It would be nice toget back into that routine. It's just
hard. Everybody's got to be places. I am just now realizing that we
have become you. I didn't knowy'all worked out together all the time.
Oh gosh, yeah, because meand Justin work out together all the time.

(01:03:43):
And I literally thought I invented it. Whoa, No, I mean
we would. We would if weweren't going to classes together, we would
at least make an effort to go, like one day, at least one
day on the weekend we dropped thekids at child watch and we would go
work out together. Yeah, ohgod, it's the worst. I thought,

(01:04:04):
like a long time ago that y'alldid, like, like I said,
like a boot camp together, andthat's where I thought. I that's
where I thought you guys worked outtogether. I thought it was a thing
for just that boot camp, ButI didn't know this was a normal relationship
thing. That's fucking cool. Yeah, he'd come take my classes sometimes.

(01:04:25):
I've talked about that too. Yeah, that's what I meant, like every
now and again. Yeah, okay, oh yeah, No, I mean
we started. We started regularly,just like when we were young. He
would come to school and we'd goto the rec center and work work out
together. Yall, it's been it'sreally been the years. Yeah, shit,

(01:04:45):
twenty two. I've been twenty twolast week, justin for twenty days
and had the nerve to be like, we've been doing this a long time.
We invented it. No. Iremember like one of the first times
I went running with Chris, hehad come up to visit me at school
and I for some reason had reallybad gas. But it was like stuck

(01:05:06):
in my guts until I started running, and then that like jiggling of the
up and down movement running started tolike make me have to fart so bad,
and I was so embarrassed because likeit's impossible to run and holding a
fart at the same time, andyou're still trying to be cute for your
new boyfriend. It was hold on, it was bad. You had bubble

(01:05:28):
guts while running, but that wasn'tthe wind behind you. Whyn't you just
fart into the wind and keep itmoving. And because I didn't want him
to hear it, girl, Iwant to start it was telling a loudass
story and just far okay early andthen look around also then look around like,

(01:05:50):
well in the world, I hadreally bad luck. Because there was
one night he had come to itand I what do we do? We
went out to dinner and we cameback and we were watching a movie in
my dorm room and all of asudden I got hit with the worst diarrhea

(01:06:11):
of my life. And the waythat this room was set up, it
was a square, but there wasa little wall that maybe extended like two
thirds of the way across the room, and there was a little passageway,
so one side were our beds andthe other side were our desks and closets.
I for like an hour, wouldlike shoot up out of this twin

(01:06:34):
size bed over the end of itso that I could like make a left
hand turn, then a right handturn out of my room and then into
the shared bathroom. And I can'tremember the excuse that I gave him why
I was like running back back andforth constantly, but I was so embarrassed.
I was like, of course,of course I have to have like

(01:06:55):
exit. You got up to doodoo like three or four times multiple it
was probably closer to like six orseven. It was so and he wasn't
like want me to just go becauseyou seemed like where was he gonna got
two and a half hours back toCincinnati. I mean, if you're do
doing you know, man, thatdoesn't stop mad. I'm like, yeah,

(01:07:26):
percent. You would come back theseventh time with your hands raw from
having washed them, and he'd belike, so, now can we fuck
but butt hole on fire from allof the wiping and whatever it was that
you eighth that didn't agree with you, And he would be like and they'd
be like, I just had diarrhea, and he'd be like, I don't

(01:07:47):
know what that has to do withanything. Like they think it's romantic to
be like, I'll look at yourbutt hole right now, I'm looking right
at that thing. What they don'tcare. Something's wrong with that, something
is very something is very wrong withthat. I'm like the other day,

(01:08:10):
I was I there was an incidentin my car and it required a car
wash. But then like I wentover the car wash and detailed some things,

(01:08:31):
and so like I'm bending over weird. You know, when you're when
you have like a bleach tripe orwhatever, and you're wiping ship down in
the car and you're you know,the cup holders and the floor of the
middle console like that awkward way thatyou have to lean into the car and
wipe that out because you'll take itto the car wash, they won't get

(01:08:53):
it as clean as you would likeit. So you're like, in,
they're really doing a bunch of shit. And from behind me, does this
seem like a time to come behindme in the yard the yard or in
the yard, you know, andput your hands on my hips and be
like, so, what's up withdinner? Yeah? I'm like what I

(01:09:18):
keep mind, it's gross, I'msweaty, I'm cleaning the car. Like
it's clear that I'm doing something.Yeah, And so I go, dude,
don't you say I'm doing something?He goes, and he literally will
be like I don't know what thathas to do with what I just said,
So what the fuck is up tonight? And I'm like, excuse me,

(01:09:43):
sir, gross ass what And thenI'll be like, listen, a
lot of things gotta line up.If I walk in there and it sounds
like rockling, if it's cups everywhere, listen, it does not to for
me a long time to get outof a motherfucking mood. Okay, you

(01:10:05):
know exactly what I'm talking about onehundred and ten percent. Yes, yes,
Like there's Instagram like dad joke influencerdudes that do a whole entire content
about this. Very literally just watchedone before we got on here to record,
which one. The mom was like, uh, he like put on

(01:10:29):
a wig. He's a man witha beard and like a sleeve of tattoos.
And he's like, oh, babe, I'm so tired tonight. I'm
touched out. The kids were anightmare. And then he was like,
yeah, but it's been like fourweeks since you touched me. And he's
like, oh, hold up,that's gonna make your drier than the Sahara
desert. And I was like,really mad, need to be told this
like that to me feels like avery obvious signal, like sir first the

(01:10:56):
international sign for we are not fuckingwell, not even just that you up
toos. Motherfucker. First of all, I hope you're an influencer and you're
really making money, and at theend of the day you try to clown
me when I'm being honest with youand telling you exactly what the fucks what.
And if you had any kind ofemotional intelligence, you would have acted

(01:11:16):
on that along as motherfucking time ago, and you would make me. You
would be making dad content like theother dude on the other side of Instagram
who'd be like, when your wifedoes this and says this, you need
to do X, Y and Z, you know those dad accounts, Yeah,
I'll be sending those tagged. Youdon't be making content making fun of

(01:11:41):
me, Yeah, because you don'tknow how to read my cues. Justin
Beck would never he knows listen whenI come in here and it should just
wiped down. I hear appliances running. I hear him like getting telling the
girls, Mommy's not going to playthat shit. I'm telling you right now,

(01:12:02):
Like I've heard him talking again,like your mom's gonna come yeah,
and she's going to see that,and let me tell you it's not gonna
go well. Told up one hundredand ten percent. We had a late
night on Friday. I got upearly. Saturday morning. Work was very
stressful. I came home and usuallyon Saturdays I need the whole rest of

(01:12:23):
the day to decompress from the chaosthat is the Saturday morning shift. I
fell asleep on Saturday. I hadmy nephew over for a sleepover, so
he and Lennox were entertained. Bennettand Quinn were entertained. I slept for
two and a half hours, andhe was like, I kept the children
out of the room. I madesure that they didn't bother you. And
I was like, that's because thisman wants to have sex and you'll get

(01:12:46):
it, sir, because you didthe right thing. You had to bust
it wide open, dead ass.You had to. You had to.
You had to slide down the polewith come hither I with raw legs and
stilettos. Baby, it was agreen light that shone just through your pussy.

(01:13:08):
Yeah, you had you had toput an put it on him.
Bunch, bunch, bunch, bunch, bounce, That's what that is correct.
So like when I come in here, shit is smelling like it doesn't
smell like cooked food because you knowI hate that. We want to do

(01:13:28):
naught eat correct. That's what Iwant you to do. You know,
things are gonna go in your favor. Things are gonna go in your favor
when my shit is how I likeit? When you are paying attention to
my shit, how I like it? Sh what's that Beyonce song? Were

(01:13:54):
you gonna take it to the I'mgonna talking about No, it's a jay
Z Beyonce song. We're gonna takeit to the time. Oh oh,
oh you put my love? No, no, oh, take it to
the moon, take it to thestars. Oh yes, yes, how

(01:14:15):
does it go? We're gonna takeit to that? How does it?
We're gonna take it to the love? Take it to the star? Yes,
this spar boom. It's that.It's that. If you want to
if you want to have appliances whining, if you want to have folded towels

(01:14:36):
ready to go and put away.If I walk into the house, ned
you telling our daughters what's what?Because you know, Mommy don't play that.
I love hearing. You know,Mom's not gonna go for that.
I love those are like that.Shit makes my heart sore. Okay,

(01:15:00):
Yeah, it's time. It's time. It's time, and I'm gonna,
you know what, I'm gonna bedouble cool and put some extras in here.
You know what I'm saying. It'sgonna be different light, it's gonna
be different outfits because you aren't soanyway. Yeah, that's the answer to

(01:15:24):
am I an athlete? Yeah?Why aren't any right now? Dearest Imperfect
Strangers. While we are on hiatus, that does not mean that we are
entirely gone from the internets. Weare like the glitter of podcasts, and
so if you would like to continuelistening to The Imperfect Strangers while we are

(01:15:45):
on break, you can find usover on patreon dot com cod slash Imperfect
Strangers. It has lots of differentthings, like our chive, Twnday Night
Lives, holeless episodes, access toour private discord, and much more.
Our patreon dot com forward slash ImperfectStrangers to the on the one with the

(01:16:06):
store, make it the SMI