February 3, 2023 • 57 mins
Every rose has its thorn. On this episode, Melissa and Amanda share the highlights of their weeks. For Amanda, her son earned his black belt. For Melissa, she’s closer to becoming bat mitzvah. Then, in a dreadful turn of events, the ladies overshare about the stuff that gets on their nerves on social media. The algorithm doesn’t care that they’re not interested. It just keeps serving them slop!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
So in a long, roundabout storythat literally has nothing to do with anything,
but I figured it's a better waythan saying, hey, we'd do
this week. Did you have aproductive week? Yeah? I wanted to
make it like especially twenty twenty threeNew Year knew me, you know how,
I'm on this fucking positivity kick.So while we were filming Homecoming,
(00:21):
one of the producers approached me.I think I just made this up in
my head because Tokyo has said it'sbeen a year, I can start saying
stuff now, and as I can. It is really is that the rules
is about the contracts and we're allowedto talk about it like the real,
real shit. Now. I don'tknow if that's real. Tokyo said it,
so now I'm saying it, sohopefully it's true. Anyway, that
(01:00):
one of the producers approached me andwas like, we would like you to
because you know, at the endof the day, the show is not
scripted. However, they do haveto create scenarios and situations that foster conversation
and foster a reason for the castto be in the same room together.
(01:23):
And this is all shows, sothey'll say there's going to be a group
dinner or on Housewives, there's goingto be a launch of somebody's whatever,
or you know, a house swarmingparty or whatever. It gets the people
in the same room and it's abig filming day, so very early on
in order to make us hang outbecause there are no TVs and also it
was pandemic, you can't leave.But also we're like fifty and if I
(01:47):
don't feel like having a conversation,I don't have to, you know what
I'm saying, like, yeah,Like, nothing is to stop you a
cast member from going in their roomand face timing their family and being like,
let me know when you turn onthat weird TV. I guess I
don't. Yeah, you know.So they were like, Melissa, how
do you feel about hosting a dinnerwhere we cook a meal together as a
(02:13):
cast and at that meal we discussour roses and our thorns of the day.
And I was like, I waslike, um, I'm really you
know, that's really nice that youthought of me. However, I don't
cook at all, so that wouldreally not ring true to who I am,
(02:37):
right, so no, I won'tbe doing that. I also that
kitchen. If I had to dothat, that yikes. Yikes. I
was like, that's a little communityish, And I was like, I
don't know if you know my potluck rules. I don't be fucking with
other people's ship. I don't knowwhere these motherfucker's been for twenty two years.
I'm sure they're all lovely, butI'm gonna need to see something,
(03:00):
audience. I'm gonna need to seesome pots of pants. I'm gonna need
to see how that canras wipe out. I'm gonna need to see some hand
washing. It's gonna be a verystressful time for me. So I don't
know. Maybe I'm the right fit. But also public feelings on purpose.
Yeah, and then thirdly, exactlyyour point. You want me to then
lead this self cooked meal with myfeelings on you know what went well for
(03:24):
me today and what went bad forme today? And I was like,
I don't know if you could reallyuse listen, guys, Day four,
we made it another day, Boom, another day in the bank. Um,
good night. That's my rose inmy hand. You know, no
one died. There's a rose.Really though, that seems way more suitable
(03:47):
for Kelly, I said, becauseKelly is like cook's beautiful food, like
actually like really puts her heart andI watched her make a cheese tray and
I was in awe. I waslike, what the fuck is that?
That's what cut was that. Iwas like, I never seen these little
flat almonds that cost sixteen dollars.This is amazing. Um, I think
(04:08):
more more because she also makes snacktrays in this and that, and like
we had bonded about my glass Jawssnack trays, you know. I was
like, you know, when theband comes, I mean, but like
I had the nerve to be talkingabout my beautiful glass Josh jactor. She's
like, oh, yeah, Imake those two. And then she shows
me a picture of her, soI was like, okay, well that's
beautiful. She says, let mesee yours, and You're like, I
(04:28):
don't think I have any pictures.Yeah, I was like unfeating dirt bags
in a basement. I don't youknow what I'm saying. You're you're hosting
empowered women. I don't know,like this is not the same, but
anyway, Like I was just like, I think she would be a better
fit for that because she genuinely lovesto cook and her love language is cooking.
(04:49):
Like she hosts dinner parties, likethat's her thing. And I was
like, and also at the rootof who she is is just this base
level. We can get through it. Let's be positive. I don't want
toxic shit around me whatever. Solike she's gonna have a rose and a
thorn, but her thorn is goingto be something that, you know,
let's turn it around the next day, my thorn is gonna be No,
(05:10):
for real, y'all saw that shitor you didn't see that ship because I
asked you three times did you seethat ship? And then you said you
saw it, but it's still heretoday, Okay. So they were like,
yeah, yeah, okay, you'reright, we should we should let
her do it. So in thebeginning of the very early on in the
(05:31):
episodes, when we were all dressedup for dinner, Yeah, that's where
that came from. It didn't endup being portrayed on the show as the
Rosenthorne dinner that was going to youknow, probably the hopes of it was
it would be two or three minutesat the end of each show where you
know, we convene and have dinnerand like the credits roll over us washing
dishes and making you know, littleinside jokes. It didn't work out that
(05:55):
way because the filming of a Roseand Thorne dinner took so many fucking hours
that by the time seriously like yeah, by the time we all sat down
to eat, it was just like, man, Kelly, this is actually
genuinely dead ass delicious. We're exhausted, so can we get this role in
(06:15):
this rosen th ownership? Like soeverybody had to go around and say what
they were thankful for or whatever,and you know, you know, you
get into those situations at in likea group setting, in a professional group
setting where some Hi, my nameis Janice, and I come with twenty
years and you know it's chance andaccounting. Yeah, and I you know,
(06:36):
I have three kids and a Pomeraniumand what I like to do on
the weekend is this, this andthat. And what I'm grateful for for
this meeting is you know, um, first, I'll say the coffee was
delicious, but also I'm so thankfulfor this opportunity. It started to feel
like that, and so like bythe time it got to me, I
was like, look, I'm reallyhappy to get this check this My phone
(07:00):
had been on me all day.It is burning a hole in my back.
Can we wrap up anyway? Allthat to say, since I'm my
new positive mental attitude, I wantedto come here and be like, Amanda,
did you have a productive week?And if so, what was your
rose? And what was your thorn? You? Like, where the fuck
(07:21):
did Melissa go back to imperfect strangers? Who, Yeah, I had a
great week. Thank you for askingmy rose. Actually I have an actual
rose. Wow. This the synchronicityof this Melissa is now. Just last
(07:43):
night I attended my very first blackbelt rose ceremony. Oh yes, which
child for Bennett? Oh I know, I'm so proud of him. He
had to write a little speech.So each person who was earning their black
belt. So this process is likecrazy, but they all tested back in
(08:07):
November and then it took this longfor all of the scores to be tallied
and so they were first degree,second degree in third degree candidates. And
then the ceremony is like where theyget their belt and they get this little
he got this like framed it all, you know, like the things that
people when they graduate from cosmetology schooland they have their little picture, their
(08:30):
driver's license picture with their little license, their little certificate. Yeah, he
basically got one of those for beinga black belt. So he got his
little framed, you know, certificationsaying that he was a first degree and
he got his belt and it hashis name embroidered on it, and then
below it it's embroidered in Korean.And then each candidate had to stand up
(08:54):
or I should say recipient at thispoint because they've all earned them, and
they had to give a speech aboutsomebody who helped them to get to this
point in their journey. When Itell you, I cried the entire time
these stories that these kids had it. And so Bennett gave his little rose
to me, and I was like, oh, I stood up there and
he was so sweet, and hewrote his little speech and he read it
(09:16):
out loud for everybody, and thenhe gave me a little rose. So
that is definitely my rose for thisweek. Literal and figure two. I
know look at that. Well youalso, you know you have to have
that certificate now because technically, althoughwe don't use it for evil, we
only use it for good. Youdo have a little lethal weapon in your
house now, which is right.That was the joke that popped up.
(09:39):
Because you have to submit a passportphoto for this like certification or whatever,
and so his little passport photos upthere, but you know, you can't
smile on a passport photo, sohe looks mean as hell. And my
dad made a joke and he waslike, do they put you on some
kind of registry and so that thenext time you show up in a public
place, your you know, faceregisters and the oh no, watch out.
(10:01):
Bennett's strong is here. And hecame to do two things, chew
bubblegum and kick ass, and hejust ran out of bubblegum. He should
get the whole thing. You asthe mom, should get the whole thing.
You know, obviously pixelate the personalizedstuff, but you need to put
that on a T shirt. Ohmy god, that would be so cute.
That would be really cute. Ohmy god, that would be okay,
(10:24):
I'm doing it. That would behilarious because it's like a long it's
like an eleven by seventeen page,so it would be the whole front of
a shirt. It's well, that'sthe outfit. Maybe it's a T shirt
dress. People on H and Mand get a long T shirt dress and
his black belt certification is your outfit, and maybe you wear it with a
black belt. Look at that ontheme. I'll wear it to every future
(10:46):
belt testing. We have a fewyears. Listen, very camp, very
high fashion. Okay, so thenwhat would your thorn be? M oh,
I mean my period game this weekthat was pretty boo boo. Tomatoes
(11:07):
tomatoes, tomatoes literally. Okay,so you have your rose in your thorn?
Yeah, but otherwise is a productiveweek? How about you? What's
your rose and what's your thorn?I mean, oh, I have my
rose. I had plenty of roses. Last night we had a long awaited
(11:31):
h Shabak dinner. I haven't seenum two of my Shavak families in a
really, really really long time,just because everybody's gotten busy, and everybody's
also got you know, ten yearolds, and so they start their their
little Hebrew school journeys and they gettheir date and then here on Long Island,
there's a special database that you enterwhere you'd say, when your kids,
(11:54):
you know, bar about mitz ofthe date is at which point it
gets put into this spreadsheet so youcould know who you're overlapping with and whether
or not that will affect your guestlist. It's a big deal here.
Oh yes, wow, that isinvolved, yes, and we're talking about
three years from now. So thenalso in that that that spreadsheet, you
(12:15):
have every mom's name, a number, who's planning such and such and what
so you can also not overlap yourvenue. So anyway, Oh, that's
fascinating. Is there more information?Could we have a whole conversation sometime about
the inner workings of what that lookslike? We could if I was involved
in that, I'm not so likeme and Shalom, who should have already
(12:37):
become bot mitzvah, but Covid happened, and we Shalom hates Shalom hates zoom.
She can't zoom. I tried continuingthe Hebrew lessons on zoom, but
it's such a We have a privateteacher. We don't, we didn't,
We don't go to the synagogue,and we go to our private teacher's house
and we sit in her you know, kitchen, and Shalem has a pretzel
(12:58):
and I have a coffee, andyou know, she plays her little you
know, cassio keyboard, and we'reseeing our morning prayers and we're seeing the
other prayers and like all of alot of the stuff is set to a
melody. So that you're reading theHebrew letters while you're seeing this melody,
so you're you know, it's likethree points of memorizing this shit, but
also really learning how to read theHebrew. Because I insisted that if I'm
(13:22):
going to do this with your Shalom, I don't want it to be where
we take all these classes and thenwhen it comes time to do the bat
mitzvah, you're just doing transliteration andreading you know, the English version of
what those words should be, insteadof looking at the characters and reading them
right right, So do it likefall on, Yeah, let's if you
listen. This is a serious businessand we have to honor our Judaism.
(13:46):
We can't just come in here halfasting it and a lot and you know
some people do do transliteration and it'sfrowned upon, but everybody does it.
I don't want to do that.Yeah. And also because we had so
much time off from our Hebrew lessonsand then remember I went away and then
the thing, and then I gotinvolved in all this other shit and so
like we finally picked it back up, we're back to in person. Um,
(14:07):
you know, our teacher is older, so you know when we first
resumed. I was like, we'llwear a mask, you know, we
don't want to get you sick.But you know, there was a lot
of things, the windows open,there's a lot of things just to make
it more comfortable. But we're finallyback in the full swing of things,
and she's like, okay, wellgreat, let's let's get it on paper
and let's schedule this. So meand Salma are like careening toward our bot
(14:28):
mitzva date. But also in thattime, as you know with your own
teenage daughter or preteen daughter, theychange overnight. Yeah. What started as
Mom, I'm so happy that we'retaking this Hebrew class together became I mean,
I guess it's cool. I mean, do you I was like,
what do you mean? And andand I don't take it, you know,
(14:48):
I don't. She just you know, she's just she's now a teenager.
Yeah, she's now been to abillion barnbot mitzvah's. And it's like,
I don't want that for me.Yeah, Like she's like, I
don't want to be the the centerof attention. I don't want that for
me. She's like, I dowant to have this with you. I
actually like spending this time with you, but I don't want to have a
big party with you. I wantus to do our thing, you know,
(15:09):
maybe we get an outfit. She'slike, but I want to have
you know, breakfast, not evendinner. And then I wanted to and
then I want to hang out withmy friends, Like I don't want to
do all this. Yeah, she'slike, and you always said the most
important part is, you know,the reading and the prayers and the actual
(15:31):
Judaism. The party's not the importantpart. And I had drilled it in
her head the party's not the importantpart. Now she says she doesn't want
the party, and I was like, but oh so, I mean anyway,
good for her for recognizing what shewants and you know, and being
able to communicate that. How areyou feeling? No, it's fine,
(15:54):
it's it's well. It's also finebecause we just stay fifteen percent on our
insurance. I mean, it wasyou know, these these these things are
extremely expensive. Um, can Icome and watch? You? Can you
can come? What are you talkingabout? I've never been to one before.
(16:15):
Well, if you come to mind, if you come to shalom and
when shalom and I become bought mitzvahit's literally not gonna be anything like what
a barn bought mitzvah is, likea barn bought mitzvah on Long Island is
one hundred thousand dollars wedding. Yeah, that's no, I want to I
(16:36):
like the sounds like, I know, no, that is what it sounds
like. I think Shalom is gettingactually sick of me because when we're singing
our songs, because you know,we we're now doing everything in the order
that it's going to be done.And I'm like, Shalom, you gotta
put your chest in it. Yougotta put some flair on it. And
she's like, mom, you're puttinga little too much flair, like the
(16:57):
teachers like girls. Because I'm like, bim bim bam, bim bam,
bim bim bam. And then likethe teachers, like, am I still
holding this note? She's like,we could reel it in there. Shalom
was like, can you just singit regularly? You have one you have
(17:18):
one finger up to your ear likeyou're holding your imaginary yes, yes,
because I'm like I wanted to gohard. She was like, I just
wanted to go Okay, how long? So had you not had to pause
because of COVID. When you startHebrew school, how long does it typically
take someone from start to finish?Well, like kids here around here start
(17:41):
when they're little ass kids. Theystart Hebrew school because they have the religious
lessons on top of like the learningor whatever I mean, It varies.
I am Shalom is a sponge.If we would have never stopped, she
would have been up and running withHebrew within eight months. You know,
you learn. You learn the theletters. Yeah, you learn that.
(18:03):
There are a few very random ruleswhere if it's you know, if if
if a vowel comes after this particularUM letter, than you know, they
have their own rules. There aresome weird exceptions. You learn those,
um. But like I'm old andmy brain doesn't do that, So like
I'll be pinching her under the table, like what's this one again? She'd
be like, I'd like, isit car or is it the Because there
(18:27):
are some sounds too that they makethat we don't make Mum. But Shalon
would have gotten it. I neededthat break and I needed the remedial work
when we got back into it,because my head was going to explode every
day. It's hard to me.Yeah, I have a hard time with
language too. I feel like languageand math for me must come from the
(18:48):
same place in my brain, whichis broken. So that's so cool.
So I have the same issue brookA Donnaya Lohan new melic Halm. She
was like, mom, please,like that sounds good. Yeah, but
(19:10):
then you got to get into thevehicuimanu vehigion. You got to get into
all that and like I just Ijust fall on. I need a lot
more practice than shalon. And howdoes somebody become certified to to teach what
she's teaching you? Um, she'sjust Jewish as hell and old. She's
(19:30):
always born for the job. I'myes, sorry if I'm asking too many
questions, you know. Um,the whole point of it is, it's
like these days because it's very importantto keep Jewish teenagers into the faith and
(19:55):
wanting to carry it into their dailylives and also into their future families.
Like we want Judaism to be whoyou are at all times, not just
this place you go sometimes. Yeah. So the whole point of your tour
portion is that your teacher tries tomake it meaningful to you when they assign
(20:21):
it. So, girl, Iam long winded than the motherfucker. The
point is I've been having a reallygood progressive time at our Hebrew lessons and
that led into randomly out of nowhereand my girlfriend Claire, who what went
to rabbinical school in Israel and canteach Hebrew. Wow, So like yeah,
so all of my questions that Ihave about stuff, I have two
(20:44):
friends that I can go through.There's her and then my other one who's
actual Israelian speaks Hebrew. Although Ifeel like really dumb asking her questions because
she'll be like that he's not withthat means, and I'd be like,
oh, this is your right,yes, okay. I mean she's like
I'm very no, she is likereally excited for me, but like I
(21:04):
you know, when you just feellike I'm this question is really dumb,
She's like no, no, noquestions are dumb. And then she'll answer
it and you'll be like, yeah, that was really dumb. Anyway,
we had a Shabbat dinner last night. It was really nice to get together
and like see everybody and you know, just have a very nice time.
The wine was flowing and then andlike it was such a weird like Shalom
(21:33):
came with these two families, thereare ten year olds and seven year old
so there was nobody for shaloone tohang out with it. I was like,
but it's a Shabbat dinner, whichis family together time, so you
should just put your little eyes shadowon it. Let's go. And she's
like really. I was like,you could sit at home and talk to
your homeboy every day all the time. You're not going to be able to
(21:53):
have, you know, a Jewishlife unless you participate in Jewish things.
And she was like, fine,I'll come. Everybody was like enamored to
be in the presence of a teenager. It was like, whoa, we
didn't expect you here, and soshe was like the talk of the town.
But it was so nice because hepulled one of the little boys aside
and he hates his curly hair,and she's like, let me tell you
(22:15):
something about curly hair. Because he'snot on TikTok, he doesn't know.
He's like, first of all,there are guys right now who are sitting
in salons two hours at a timegetting perms to get your hair. So
the fact that you don't like yourhair is crazy. Your hair is gorgeous.
You need to love it. Youneed to live with it, do
not cut it, and like thekids like, I still hate my hair,
but he's gonna get there. Andshe was like, I'm telling you
(22:37):
in eighth grade, because he's infourth grade. She's like, in eighth
grade that hair is the hair thateverybody wants. So technically you look really
cool right now. He was likeokay, So like it was nice to
have her there. That was mylast I should bought dinner my thorn.
Baby, you said I would.It's exactly what the fuck you said would
happen. Oh, it's exactly whatyou said would happen. You said,
(23:02):
Melissa, take it slow. Youdon't want to get burnt out? Does
that? Is that not what yousaid? It is what I said.
So I was supposed to be aclass at seven am, and baby,
I had to just pay the twelvedollar cancel because I couldn't do it.
How many times have you gone thisweek? I go Monday, Wednesday,
(23:32):
Saturday, and then Thursdays is yoga. So I was supposed to be there
this morning, but I had alovely time at Shabbat dinner. You know,
I had me a little glass ofwine. I came home took me
a little, you know, liveyour life. It's totally fine, yes,
yeah, totally fine. But alsoon Wednesday there was a you know,
(23:53):
the waits portion, like whatever it'scalled. What do you call that?
Late set? Must oh doms?I have it, really girl,
That shit was Wednesday, Saturday morning. I'm I'm raggedy. Yes, okay,
that's a great point. So mostpeople think that the bulk of the
soreness will happen the next day.However, doms tend to peak about forty
(24:17):
eight to seventy two hours after exercise, so the fact that you're feeling it
on Saturday is not uncommon, andthat's not out of your little window of
where you would experience it. Butthe thing to remember is that as you
get stronger and as you continue towork, those things will, you know,
get less and less. Doms reallyonly happens if you are like lifting
(24:41):
heavier or moving in a different way, so your you know, your body
will start to acclimate to that,and that you know, crazy intense soreness
that you may be feeling right nowa day, two days, three days
after your workouts will get a lotbetter, and you can help to relieve
it by doing some cardio or somelight movement and stretching and drinking lots of
(25:03):
water to help flush that lactic acidout of the system and just kind of
you know, most people want tosit down and and not do anything.
So today just you know, maybetake a light walk or you know,
pop in a little yoga video onYouTube and just kind of do some gentle
stretching and you should be good girl, because that class was Wednesday, right,
(25:25):
Yeah, Thursday night we went toyoga and down dog was fucking us
up. I looked over him.He looked like he was about to die.
He's like, dude, my shouldersand my traps are insane. I
was like, insane. I don'tfeel good, but like I was still
able to do it. It hurt, but I was still able to do
it. But then this morning,a whole two days later, yeah,
I was like, girl, myarms are broken real bad. So I
(25:48):
had to pay the twelve dollars,which is crazy. I should be allowed
to cancel anytime I want if you'recharging me that much a month, but
whatever, right, Okay, Ithe same fucking thing happened to me this
week. Scheduled a class for Thursdaynight. I got a migraine I could
not kick it, and so weended up not going to class on Thursday
night. They charged me ten dollarsfor a no show and if I don't
(26:11):
cancel, I think within like sixhours of the class happening, I get
charged ten dollars. I'm like,wait, how does that mark's And I'm
like, wait, I pay allthis money a month. You already have
the money. I would a littlewristband, and now I still have to
pay twelve dollars to whatever. Andthe thing is it has an eight hours
thing. Eight hours ago. Myarms didn't hurt though, right, Yeah,
(26:34):
I know it was six hours.I didn't have a migraine, and
like, what if I was vomitingall of a sudden. I think that
that's a bunch of bullshit. Imean, I understand they're trying to keep
people from like scheduling and taking spotsaway from other people and then canceling,
But at the same time, likeI paid the money ahead of time,
so it's not like it you know, you already have the money. Yeah,
(26:55):
you have the money. Yeah.I don't like that. And this
isn't like there were people waiting tocome in. If if I see that
there's no waiting list to get intothis class and I cancel it. That
should be a penalty freeze. It'slike, oh, yeah, you made
it. If there was a waitinglist and I cancel it, you should
be like, thank you, soyou can join now. But right,
(27:18):
and Justin's already canceled one before,so we got thirty six dollars worth of
that now, and I'm thinking aboutthat thirty six dollars same. I was
so mad about it last night.I had to go in and look at
the terms and conditions because I waslike, wait a minute, why are
these ten dollars charges happening? Yeah, thirty six dollars, and I was
like, we're going to change it. Well, I'm also going to be
(27:40):
like, we have two days thisweekend at Justin beck is buying me thirty
six dollars worth of something. Idon't care if I'm going to get the
eighteen dollars glass of wine or I'mgetting my thirty six dollars back. Somehow
someway today, even though I'm partof it. Two of them came from
you. Yeah, so um,roses and thorns. That's hysterical. I
(28:44):
don't know if we actually put thison a front facing episode or if we
didn't. But I know there wasone time where we had an episode and
we talked about, you know,words that are done. We can't do
it anymore, don't say that anymore. I hate that. I've already tuned
out. If I hear that word, it's over. And I think that
we should update that. We shoulddo a twenty twenty three version of stuff
(29:07):
that has to go, that stuffthat we should leave in twenty twenty two,
even though it's like literally January thirtyninth, and we should have done
this at the top of the year. It wouldn't be imperfect strangers unless we
relate to a trend. It's okay. Remember our new year doesn't start until
four twenty. Correct. We're reallyahead of things, so we are.
(29:30):
I hope that you have compiled yourlist. Yes, things you're sick of.
I've been very nervous because I waslike, oh God, we're gonna
we're gonna record this and have agood old time, and then we're gonna
listen back to it and be like, we can't post any of this live
because it's so incredibly rude. Yeah, I know, you know what though,
here's the thing, and I thinkif we preface it with I understand,
(29:53):
you know what it is. Weall everybody, everybody listening, everybody
out there in the world, weall I have, especially if you're chronically
on if you're a chronically online person, you know, like if you're a
person that like, you know what'sgoing on on TikTok, you know what's
going on on Twitter whatever. I'ma person that knows what's going on on
Twitter. Twitter has I think thequality of it, even with my very
(30:19):
specific, highly attuned timeline curation,it just hasn't been good. Like I
don't care what Elon Musk said ordid I do see the white supremacy and
I do see, you know,the push that he's trying to bring to
my timeline against my will, andall the ads and shit, Like I
(30:40):
spend half the day blocking ads soI can read the shit how I want
to read it. Jesus. Butif you are a person that's online and
you're with a person who's not,there's whole entire conversations you're having by yourself
in your head about what you sawon the internet because somebody say it out
loud to your person. Your person'slike, well, right, And then
(31:02):
you sound crazy going you know thething. The guy comes in, he
starts dancing, and then he goesand then he turned around and he's like
what. And then a month laterhe goes, Yo, I saw this
thing, and you're like, girl, that's the fucking thing I told you
about. It's literally my marriage.Yeah, and so you had you get
(31:26):
into this. I'm I'm I'm aperson who now when people send me things
or show me stuff and I haveseen it literally a year ago or two
weeks ago or whatever, I justgo yeah, totally LLL because I can't.
So anyway, that being said,I think we should have fun and
(31:48):
you know, face the backlash later. Okay, love it, um,
you can start and this could bethis could be words, trends, content
stuff we're sick of in twenty twentythree that we don't want to see anymore,
which ultimately will mean if you don'twant to see it anymore, you
(32:09):
guys are so judgment or why don'tyou just delete Instagram? Is shut up
here? Clearly you've never listened toan episode of this podcast. You can
turn it off now, free willjust turn it off? Go listen to
something boring. Okay. In twentytwenty three. I want to leave behind
(32:31):
Instagram and TikTok videos of you eatingfood. And I also do not want
to see photos of your food period. What if the food is pretty now,
I don't give a shit. Idon't want to see it unless it
is on a plate in front ofme and I'm going to eat it.
I don't care. Okay, wait, what about if you put it in
(32:52):
like you're talking about. You don'twant to see them chewing and all that
shit. Oh god, I donot want to see a camera on your
face while you're sitting in a restaurantshoveling shit into your mouth. I don't
want to sit at your kitchen tablewith you and listen to you moan and
groan over some sandwich you just made. I don't fucking care. There is
this woman. I don't know howI got invited into the reddit thread for
(33:15):
her. All of her fucking contentis her like eating in her car,
and I'm like, come up withsomething interesting. I don't want to sit
and watch you eat in your car. Why am I still in this reddit?
I cannot get out of here.Maybe this is a me problem,
but I hate it. Yeah,girl, you are punishing yourself. I
hate this content. I'm gonna golook at it, but hold on,
(33:37):
I'm gonna piggyback that. I'm gonnapiggyback onto that. I'm tired of you.
Motherfucker's filming in your car anything.What are y'all doing? No,
No, I'm talking about by yourselfin your car. You get behind the
steering wheel and it's like POVB likeor whatever. The fuck shut up.
(34:00):
You're in their car, by yourself, in a parking lot, and so
you're not even in a remote corner. I see life going on around you.
Aren't you embarrassed? Oh? Andwhen people catch them and they say,
oh, so and so's looking atme, Yes, you should be
embarrassed, be ashamed. Yeah,what are you just crazy? Why are
you in the car going? Andso, As it turns out, I
was trying to get into my practice. They get giggy giggy gist or they're
(34:20):
like story time, and then you'reyou're two minutes in the vent. Two
minutes is too long. You're twominutes into the video and you're like,
where's the fucking story? Okay.On that note, I hate it when
people are like watch till the endlisten till the end, and nothing happens.
Nothing happens, and it gets meevery fucking time, and every fucking
time I fall for it. Andthen I get to the end and I'm
(34:43):
mad that nothing exciting happened. See, I stopped listening to those story times
in the car because then it startedto be this motherfucking lady just lied on
a motherfucker. Now we're all figuringout how you lied on a motherfucker.
Remember last year when that happened thelady, I was gonna say, thinking
about the lady at Michael's, Yeah, she lied on the lady. Nobody
was trying to kidnap your fucking child. Stop this. Nobody was trying to
(35:04):
sex traffic, little Madison, stopit. I need you to stop it.
Crafts in your car and drive away. Stop this. Um yeah,
I'm tired of the content in thein the car front facing in the car.
Listen. It's one thing if you'rein the car with motherfucker's and you're
all having a conversation. Okay,this is a family or deal. Okay,
I get that, but just inthe car talking to yourself. An
(35:29):
entire page of tiktoks of that.So every day, you just talk to
yourself in the car. I mean, girl, I guess so Ye'll pay
my turn your turn, even thoughI just took over your turn. Um.
I don't know where this word comefrom. I keep seeing it and
(35:52):
I keep hearing it, and Idon't like it, and rarely has a
word itself. The definition of thisword is what the fuck? I don't
like? What? What's the ick? What the fuck are y'all talking about?
You don't like that ship? Justsay you don't like that ship?
(36:12):
Yeah, I'm sick of it seeingso of would you say that they're giving
you the ick? That's what I'msaying. And I thought I heard you
say it, and I was likeMelissa, if she said it, she
it was just like one of thoselike earworms. It happens. It happens,
(36:34):
you know, like ikey was normal? Right? Did they just abbreviate
ikey like that feels icky? ButI feel like ikey is a word that
you use with children, yeah,or in reference to weed if you're snoop
dog. Oh okay, it's dickyicky okay, right? But why do
(36:54):
we need to make that make thatannounce And while we're on the subject of
making things, nouns or making wordsmean things that they don't mean. That's
not what the fuck aesthetic means.That's not what the fuck that means.
Esthetic is a noun. Aesthetic isactually a generalized noun. It could be
any vibe, any style is theaesthetic. Aesthetic doesn't mean beige and plants
(37:23):
and minimalist and pink and you feelgood about it and you feel calm.
That's not what the fuck aesthetic means. I know that that's what you think.
It the fuck means that. That'snot what it means. And I'm
sick of you say in that wordwhen that's not what that means. I
mean, I want something aesthetic.What the fuck does that mean? Yeah,
what is the aesthetic you are tryingto achieve? You know? Aesthetic?
No, bit, No, that'snot what aesthetic means. Yeah,
(37:47):
that drives me nuts. There wasthis whole um. I forget who it
was. We have a listener,send us a link to a podcast episode
of like gens z Terms and sothey were quizzing millennials on if they knew
the terms or not, which ifyou're online in any capacity, all of
(38:07):
the words are stuff that you youknow, hear all the time. But
I feel like a lot of thesethings. I mean, I love slang,
and I love you know when thingsjust like feel right or they're like
really great for you know, acertain scenario or something that you can like
throw in and it's funny and it'sinteresting. But a lot of this shit,
(38:27):
like the whole ich thing, Ithink that that's just taking over because
people think that that's a funny.It's like a funny way to generate content.
Like I've seen a lot of themwhere people are going back and forth
like this is what you do thatgives me the ick. I don't know.
It's like sus. I also hatesustes us. Here's what it is.
(38:50):
Usually, by the time it getsto the internet and I'm seeing it
repeatedly, I already hate it.Yeah, I already hate it. I
already hate it. That's on period. Like I want to actually go back
and to lead our episode called thatbecause I fucking granted it was two years
ago, but I hate it nowand I wanted to not exist. It's
(39:15):
giving. Oh my god, that'son my list too. It's giving.
I fucking hate it's giving. Iwon't say it's giving, It'll be where
I almost want to say it,because that is what I mean, but
I won't say it because I can'tstand it. Stop telling me what it's
giving. I hate that. I'mOkah, my god, that was on
(39:38):
my list too. It's giving.Trying to think of some others that came
up. You know what else Ihate? What I hate post pandemic.
You motherfucker. We're still oh mygod, we're still in it. We're
still post pandemic. What are youtalking about post pandemic? When is that?
(39:59):
When's that going to be? Atwhich time? Okay, just be
okay. What you really mean isnow that I don't give a fuck about
the pandemic. That's what you mean, now that I don't give a fuck
about the ongoing pandemic, which isfine. I'm guilty of that too.
I'm up in orange theory, breathingin the COVID. But I wouldn't say
(40:22):
it's post pandemic. I would saythat it is. It is current pandemic.
Moving on with my life and hopingfor the best, and I'll see
it in ten years when I havemy heart, you know. Because words
mean things, Oh they do allthe time, Crystal Jean. I don't
(40:43):
want to hear that. I hatewhen people use the word verbiage when they're
meaning copy or content. That usedto drive me up the wall. I
remember, and it's been a longlong time since I've been in corporate America,
but when people, you know,because I'm as a designer, you're
constantly working with other people's content,and somebody say, okay, well we
(41:06):
need to get the verbiage for that, and I was like, that's literally
not what that word fucking means.Verbiage is not a substitute for copy,
just a copy. It's the copy, right. Verbiage would be the step
before the copy where you guys aretrying to figure out what the copy will
be. Oh god, and itstill makes me prickle. Um, let
(41:31):
me see what next on my list? I mean I hate Okay, go
ahead, do you know I wantto leave Justin Bieber in twenty twenty two?
Oh my god, it's not justit's not just you then, because
(41:51):
I'm not I don't know what I'vedone. I don't know what I said.
You get his shit all the timeher Haley yes, and I stopped
Hailey yes. And so he's justin the background and his little sloppy Drew
outfit, and I'm like, whereare they going together? And his molester
mustache? No, thank you,and it's like, I don't know anything
(42:14):
about you, young man. I'msure you're a great person, but for
this. I didn't ask for this. You sold your catalog for two hundred
million dollars. I'm proud of you. I'm happy for you. Why am
I looking at this? And Ihope Usher gets a piece? Why am
I looking at this? And Ido? I think Ashley Ashley, whatever
the fuck her name is. Ithink she's a gorgeous, stunning lady.
(42:35):
I do. Why am I lookingat this? Why does it keep to
what is? What? In thealgorithm? Told you that I need to
see pictures of her at all times? Same with Northwest. I said I've
had enough. I told you,no, not interested, not interested,
not interested. It's a fucking wallof blurry photos at this point. And
(42:59):
y'all still are not listening to me. Well, while we're leaving people in
the past, can we also leaveHilaria Baldwin in twenty twenty two. I
thought we were going to say,at the end of twenty what are you
talking about? Let's get into afucking time machine and what year was she
born? Oh, I think she'smy No, she's younger than I am,
(43:20):
so she's probably like an eighty three, eighty four eight. Okay,
so let's go to nineteen eighty fourand make that not happen because I'm sick
of it. She got exposed,yet the grift continues. That video this
week or she pulled that accent outagain and I was like, bitch,
we all know your Hillary. Youguys are you guys are waiting outside of
the escuela girl. If you don'tfucking stop, pleiss pliss, I'm not
(43:45):
going to talk to you. Thisis very barely gristope for the children,
like a girl. If you don'tfucking stop this, I'm so Hillary,
Hillary, what are you doing?I've had enough. You're never gonna be
Matthew McConaughey's wife. It's just nothow it happened, So just stop it.
(44:06):
She can stay, she can stayon the internet because I was gonna
say, there's listen, there's somemom content out there that's getting on my
nerves. But there are some momsthat I'm like, you can stay.
Jennifer Garner, you can stay.For some reason, I'm not I like
her I don't. I'm not botheredby her. I like Matthew McConaughey's wife.
I'm not bothered by her. There'sa lady on the internet. She
(44:27):
is the mother of a little boynamed um Samaj. I like her.
He works at five below, he'sfive years old. Whatever, I love
him. There's there's some moms whereI like what they're doing. I'll take
that, you know what I'm saying. But there are other moms. I
(44:49):
need you to stop dancing right now. How do you have time? You
said you just said you were anxiousif you're dancing, What is the truth.
What is the truth? Because notonly are you dancing, doing a
whole routine, and it be likeand whatever the fuck left and night?
Yes, and know whatever you're doing. And then you're saying that you're anxious
(45:12):
and you're this and you're that.But then you've recorded this video, and
then you sat there and you editedthe video and you probably get it in
one take this too. Oh yes, Then you sat there and edited it,
then you sat there and posted it. Then you sat there on the
back end and watched how it did. Then you made another video saying did
you have to get back up anddo it again. Sometimes you know that
(45:35):
video won't hit and I'm just like, I don't need to know that part.
But I also know that somebody's lyingbecause you ain't anxious if you went
through that whole process multiple motherfucking timesand then got back up and did it
again after it. So miss mewith that shit? Oh not miss me?
Okay, I'm bringing that one back. It's your term. Well,
(46:06):
this is one that I know thatwe have the same because as we were
discussing this, you typed it andI had literally just written it notes I
do not want to see white peoplerecipes or white people cooking. Hold on
now, hold on now, Iam not the racist. I did not
say she said that. I saidit with my whole chest. But what
(46:31):
did I send? Did I justsend a random video of a person cooking?
Um? I think you sent avideo. Here's here's the thing.
And I'm not sure if we're tryingto be relatable or this is really how
you guys. I was about tosay, you people, how you people
(46:52):
making really disgusting and listen, youmight be going but Amanda, you don't
cook. But Amanda, you tellus all the time that I'm not I
Okay, okay, okay, Iremember now. I remember now. I
said, I'm tired of watching youcook for your twelve kids. I'm sick
(47:15):
of it. Yeah, you're boilinga bunch of hamburger helper and you're putting
a lot of motherfucking cheese on someshit. I don't give a fuck.
I'm happy that all the motherfucker's gotto eat, I am, but that's
not content to me. I watcheda woman yesterday and she lit something on
fire on top of her counter.Then she poured a whole pot of spaghetti
(47:38):
noodles on top of the counter.Then she poured sauce on it, whole
cloves of garlic, then poured vodkaon it, then lit it on fire
again. They were like eight stepsand she's just putting shit on the counter
and mixing it with her hands andthen scraped. Then she scrapes it off
(47:59):
the side of the counter into acasserole dish. Why yes, okay,
that's what I wrote down here.Excessive food waste videos. Why y'all waste
this food? Well, first ofit's going to get food, but also
when they put it directly on thetable and the whole family eats off of
the table. No, you knowwhat I'm talking about. Yes, I
(48:21):
know exactly what you're talking about.And I hate that. I hate that,
and I report it. I'm blockand report. I block and report
because that is hateful and people wherethey targeting me. I hate it.
It's a hate crime. I'm sickof it. I don't. I don't.
(48:43):
Stop wasting products, Stop wasting.Stop putting a bunch of fucking chemicals
in the toilet and putting your handsin it. You're fucking weirdo. I'm
saying, excessive waste videos. I'mdone with that. It should no longer
be allowed, especially not in thiseconomy, not in the way that y'all
claim to care about the fucking earth. Y'all just put a hor a whole
motherfucking jar of ajax and the toilet, are you okay? And then they
(49:05):
mix and then they mix shit,and I'm like, you were literally going
to die with the chemicals that you'repoor, dumbass? What the fuck?
Yeah? Okay, well good,I hate that too. And then and
now the next thing on my listis shook and shook it, shut the
(49:25):
fuck up. I'm sick of it. It should have been over six years
ago. I'm tired of it.Are you shook? And shook it?
And I'm upset because whoever made thatup? It was clever at the time,
but it's been abused and abused andabused, so now we need to
disabuse ourselves of that motherfucking term.Don't say it anymore. I am shook
it. No, you're not.Shut the fuck up. Nothing is the
(49:49):
only way you could really truly beshook. I don't want you to say
it unless it's a fucking seven Richterscale earthquake. Shut up. Nothing is
gonna shook you to the core likethat. Stop. I hate my guy.
I think Lucas is a YouTube thing. No, it's a New York
(50:12):
thing, okay, and they're ruiningit drives me nuts. I hear the
whatever the boys watch. Watch outmy guy, Hey, my guy,
No, stop ruined. Okay.I should never have crossed over into that
area, My guy is specifically NewYork. It does not belong to the
(50:36):
Internet. It belongs actually in thestreets of New York. I don't appreciate
that. That's appropriation, that's culturalappropriation. Is inappropriate. Um the next
thing, I fucking hate and ftshut your motherfucking scamming ass up. My
god, we should have been donewith that a long ass time ago.
Don't talk to me about it,Goddamn NFT. I don't want to hear
(50:59):
about it. Nonible token, Whatthe fuck does that mean? You are
a scammer? All you are asa scammer. If you are into NFTs
and you sell NFTs and you claimthat you made money on NFTs, you
are a scammer. Scammer, Idon't want to hear it. And also,
those monkeys are racist. It's uncomfortable. Get it out of here.
Okay, NFT. Let's add NPC. If I hear one of my children
(51:21):
try to insult the other telling themthat they are an NPC, I will
fucking throw up punch somebody. Whatis it again? An NPC is a
non playable character. It's a reference, I believe to a video game or
specifically the SIMS, and it isany character in the game that is not
you're not able to control, likewith your controllers. So they're just like
(51:43):
a random person that's in the gamethat you may interact with, but they
are not playable. Okay, youknow what I Well, on that note,
anybody that is doing the Beyonce,Dubai Drunken Love Run. You are
now an NPC. You're an NPC. I want to turn you off.
I'm tired of it. Let's justlet Beyonce seeing it right. Shut your
(52:15):
motherfucking ass up. Shut up,shut up. I don't want to see
your fucking Edward scissor hands all inthe fucking sky while you're Yeah, shut
up. I'm sick of it.I'm sick of it. Just let Beyonce
do it. I've come across acouple where they could really sing, but
(52:36):
shut up. Oh yeah, Icaught a couple of those the other day.
I was like, Oh, that'snot okay, you're turned My list
is very long, by the way, I figured Churns would be. UM
that this might surprise some people.UM, I need you white women with
(53:01):
tattoos. All of my grievances areagainst white women. You're like, what
y'all are doing is making it harderfor me. Please, it really is,
guys. Really you need to stop. It's near not making it any
better. White women on TikTok,please stop telling me that my spirit guides
(53:28):
are contacting you. I need youto stop showing me a tarot card.
I need you to stop telling mewhere you know the planets are and that
I need to manifest and then Ican I can quantum leap. I need
it to stop. Hold on,I thought you liked that shit. I
like people that are like actually credentialed, Like I want to hear that ship
(53:51):
from Kren. I want to hearthat shit from Andy. I want to
hear that ship from Amber. Who'smaking those witchy candles and incense? I
want I want those people to tellme you're talking about lady. I feel
like regular white women are now likejust grifting, like they're you know,
miss Cleo in here, she wasgrifting too. She was grifting too.
(54:17):
But actually, like I don't mindit with miss Cleo because I like the
whole. I like the grift.I want to buy it, and you
understood it and it was a partentertainment. This is the women are really
serious talking about. I see yourrams. Yes, I can read the
Acoshic records. Fuck you, nofair, Fair Hello out there in the
(54:43):
Imperfect Strangers Podcast universe. Thank youfor listening to the show, Thank you
for your support. If you wantmore Imperfect Strangers in your life, make
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(55:06):
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(55:29):
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(55:49):
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(56:09):
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(56:30):
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So in a long, roundabout storythat literally has nothing to do with anything,
but I figured it's a better waythan saying, hey, we'd do
this week. Did you have aproductive week? Yeah? I wanted to
make it like especially twenty twenty threeNew Year knew me, you know how,
I'm on this fucking positivity kick.So while we were filming Homecoming,
(00:21):
one of the producers approached me.I think I just made this up in
my head because Tokyo has said it'sbeen a year, I can start saying
stuff now, and as I can. It is really is that the rules
is about the contracts and we're allowedto talk about it like the real,
real shit. Now. I don'tknow if that's real. Tokyo said it,
so now I'm saying it, sohopefully it's true. Anyway, that
(01:00):
one of the producers approached me andwas like, we would like you to
because you know, at the endof the day, the show is not
scripted. However, they do haveto create scenarios and situations that foster conversation
and foster a reason for the castto be in the same room together.
(01:23):
And this is all shows, sothey'll say there's going to be a group
dinner or on Housewives, there's goingto be a launch of somebody's whatever,
or you know, a house swarmingparty or whatever. It gets the people
in the same room and it's abig filming day, so very early on
in order to make us hang outbecause there are no TVs and also it
was pandemic, you can't leave.But also we're like fifty and if I
(01:47):
don't feel like having a conversation,I don't have to, you know what
I'm saying, like, yeah,Like, nothing is to stop you a
cast member from going in their roomand face timing their family and being like,
let me know when you turn onthat weird TV. I guess I
don't. Yeah, you know.So they were like, Melissa, how
do you feel about hosting a dinnerwhere we cook a meal together as a
(02:13):
cast and at that meal we discussour roses and our thorns of the day.
And I was like, I waslike, um, I'm really you
know, that's really nice that youthought of me. However, I don't
cook at all, so that wouldreally not ring true to who I am,
(02:37):
right, so no, I won'tbe doing that. I also that
kitchen. If I had to dothat, that yikes. Yikes. I
was like, that's a little communityish, And I was like, I
don't know if you know my potluck rules. I don't be fucking with
other people's ship. I don't knowwhere these motherfucker's been for twenty two years.
I'm sure they're all lovely, butI'm gonna need to see something,
(03:00):
audience. I'm gonna need to seesome pots of pants. I'm gonna need
to see how that canras wipe out. I'm gonna need to see some hand
washing. It's gonna be a verystressful time for me. So I don't
know. Maybe I'm the right fit. But also public feelings on purpose.
Yeah, and then thirdly, exactlyyour point. You want me to then
lead this self cooked meal with myfeelings on you know what went well for
(03:24):
me today and what went bad forme today? And I was like,
I don't know if you could reallyuse listen, guys, Day four,
we made it another day, Boom, another day in the bank. Um,
good night. That's my rose inmy hand. You know, no
one died. There's a rose.Really though, that seems way more suitable
(03:47):
for Kelly, I said, becauseKelly is like cook's beautiful food, like
actually like really puts her heart andI watched her make a cheese tray and
I was in awe. I waslike, what the fuck is that?
That's what cut was that. Iwas like, I never seen these little
flat almonds that cost sixteen dollars.This is amazing. Um, I think
(04:08):
more more because she also makes snacktrays in this and that, and like
we had bonded about my glass Jawssnack trays, you know. I was
like, you know, when theband comes, I mean, but like
I had the nerve to be talkingabout my beautiful glass Josh jactor. She's
like, oh, yeah, Imake those two. And then she shows
me a picture of her, soI was like, okay, well that's
beautiful. She says, let mesee yours, and You're like, I
(04:28):
don't think I have any pictures.Yeah, I was like unfeating dirt bags
in a basement. I don't youknow what I'm saying. You're you're hosting
empowered women. I don't know,like this is not the same, but
anyway, Like I was just like, I think she would be a better
fit for that because she genuinely lovesto cook and her love language is cooking.
(04:49):
Like she hosts dinner parties, likethat's her thing. And I was
like, and also at the rootof who she is is just this base
level. We can get through it. Let's be positive. I don't want
toxic shit around me whatever. Solike she's gonna have a rose and a
thorn, but her thorn is goingto be something that, you know,
let's turn it around the next day, my thorn is gonna be No,
(05:10):
for real, y'all saw that shitor you didn't see that ship because I
asked you three times did you seethat ship? And then you said you
saw it, but it's still heretoday, Okay. So they were like,
yeah, yeah, okay, you'reright, we should we should let
her do it. So in thebeginning of the very early on in the
(05:31):
episodes, when we were all dressedup for dinner, Yeah, that's where
that came from. It didn't endup being portrayed on the show as the
Rosenthorne dinner that was going to youknow, probably the hopes of it was
it would be two or three minutesat the end of each show where you
know, we convene and have dinnerand like the credits roll over us washing
dishes and making you know, littleinside jokes. It didn't work out that
(05:55):
way because the filming of a Roseand Thorne dinner took so many fucking hours
that by the time seriously like yeah, by the time we all sat down
to eat, it was just like, man, Kelly, this is actually
genuinely dead ass delicious. We're exhausted, so can we get this role in
(06:15):
this rosen th ownership? Like soeverybody had to go around and say what
they were thankful for or whatever,and you know, you know, you
get into those situations at in likea group setting, in a professional group
setting where some Hi, my nameis Janice, and I come with twenty
years and you know it's chance andaccounting. Yeah, and I you know,
(06:36):
I have three kids and a Pomeraniumand what I like to do on
the weekend is this, this andthat. And what I'm grateful for for
this meeting is you know, um, first, I'll say the coffee was
delicious, but also I'm so thankfulfor this opportunity. It started to feel
like that, and so like bythe time it got to me, I
was like, look, I'm reallyhappy to get this check this My phone
(07:00):
had been on me all day.It is burning a hole in my back.
Can we wrap up anyway? Allthat to say, since I'm my
new positive mental attitude, I wantedto come here and be like, Amanda,
did you have a productive week?And if so, what was your
rose? And what was your thorn? You? Like, where the fuck
(07:21):
did Melissa go back to imperfect strangers? Who, Yeah, I had a
great week. Thank you for askingmy rose. Actually I have an actual
rose. Wow. This the synchronicityof this Melissa is now. Just last
(07:43):
night I attended my very first blackbelt rose ceremony. Oh yes, which
child for Bennett? Oh I know, I'm so proud of him. He
had to write a little speech.So each person who was earning their black
belt. So this process is likecrazy, but they all tested back in
(08:07):
November and then it took this longfor all of the scores to be tallied
and so they were first degree,second degree in third degree candidates. And
then the ceremony is like where theyget their belt and they get this little
he got this like framed it all, you know, like the things that
people when they graduate from cosmetology schooland they have their little picture, their
(08:30):
driver's license picture with their little license, their little certificate. Yeah, he
basically got one of those for beinga black belt. So he got his
little framed, you know, certificationsaying that he was a first degree and
he got his belt and it hashis name embroidered on it, and then
below it it's embroidered in Korean.And then each candidate had to stand up
(08:54):
or I should say recipient at thispoint because they've all earned them, and
they had to give a speech aboutsomebody who helped them to get to this
point in their journey. When Itell you, I cried the entire time
these stories that these kids had it. And so Bennett gave his little rose
to me, and I was like, oh, I stood up there and
he was so sweet, and hewrote his little speech and he read it
(09:16):
out loud for everybody, and thenhe gave me a little rose. So
that is definitely my rose for thisweek. Literal and figure two. I
know look at that. Well youalso, you know you have to have
that certificate now because technically, althoughwe don't use it for evil, we
only use it for good. Youdo have a little lethal weapon in your
house now, which is right.That was the joke that popped up.
(09:39):
Because you have to submit a passportphoto for this like certification or whatever,
and so his little passport photos upthere, but you know, you can't
smile on a passport photo, sohe looks mean as hell. And my
dad made a joke and he waslike, do they put you on some
kind of registry and so that thenext time you show up in a public
place, your you know, faceregisters and the oh no, watch out.
(10:01):
Bennett's strong is here. And hecame to do two things, chew
bubblegum and kick ass, and hejust ran out of bubblegum. He should
get the whole thing. You asthe mom, should get the whole thing.
You know, obviously pixelate the personalizedstuff, but you need to put
that on a T shirt. Ohmy god, that would be so cute.
That would be really cute. Ohmy god, that would be okay,
(10:24):
I'm doing it. That would behilarious because it's like a long it's
like an eleven by seventeen page,so it would be the whole front of
a shirt. It's well, that'sthe outfit. Maybe it's a T shirt
dress. People on H and Mand get a long T shirt dress and
his black belt certification is your outfit, and maybe you wear it with a
black belt. Look at that ontheme. I'll wear it to every future
(10:46):
belt testing. We have a fewyears. Listen, very camp, very
high fashion. Okay, so thenwhat would your thorn be? M oh,
I mean my period game this weekthat was pretty boo boo. Tomatoes
(11:07):
tomatoes, tomatoes literally. Okay,so you have your rose in your thorn?
Yeah, but otherwise is a productiveweek? How about you? What's
your rose and what's your thorn?I mean, oh, I have my
rose. I had plenty of roses. Last night we had a long awaited
(11:31):
h Shabak dinner. I haven't seenum two of my Shavak families in a
really, really really long time,just because everybody's gotten busy, and everybody's
also got you know, ten yearolds, and so they start their their
little Hebrew school journeys and they gettheir date and then here on Long Island,
there's a special database that you enterwhere you'd say, when your kids,
(11:54):
you know, bar about mitz ofthe date is at which point it
gets put into this spreadsheet so youcould know who you're overlapping with and whether
or not that will affect your guestlist. It's a big deal here.
Oh yes, wow, that isinvolved, yes, and we're talking about
three years from now. So thenalso in that that that spreadsheet, you
(12:15):
have every mom's name, a number, who's planning such and such and what
so you can also not overlap yourvenue. So anyway, Oh, that's
fascinating. Is there more information?Could we have a whole conversation sometime about
the inner workings of what that lookslike? We could if I was involved
in that, I'm not so likeme and Shalom, who should have already
(12:37):
become bot mitzvah, but Covid happened, and we Shalom hates Shalom hates zoom.
She can't zoom. I tried continuingthe Hebrew lessons on zoom, but
it's such a We have a privateteacher. We don't, we didn't,
We don't go to the synagogue,and we go to our private teacher's house
and we sit in her you know, kitchen, and Shalem has a pretzel
(12:58):
and I have a coffee, andyou know, she plays her little you
know, cassio keyboard, and we'reseeing our morning prayers and we're seeing the
other prayers and like all of alot of the stuff is set to a
melody. So that you're reading theHebrew letters while you're seeing this melody,
so you're you know, it's likethree points of memorizing this shit, but
also really learning how to read theHebrew. Because I insisted that if I'm
(13:22):
going to do this with your Shalom, I don't want it to be where
we take all these classes and thenwhen it comes time to do the bat
mitzvah, you're just doing transliteration andreading you know, the English version of
what those words should be, insteadof looking at the characters and reading them
right right, So do it likefall on, Yeah, let's if you
listen. This is a serious businessand we have to honor our Judaism.
(13:46):
We can't just come in here halfasting it and a lot and you know
some people do do transliteration and it'sfrowned upon, but everybody does it.
I don't want to do that.Yeah. And also because we had so
much time off from our Hebrew lessonsand then remember I went away and then
the thing, and then I gotinvolved in all this other shit and so
like we finally picked it back up, we're back to in person. Um,
(14:07):
you know, our teacher is older, so you know when we first
resumed. I was like, we'llwear a mask, you know, we
don't want to get you sick.But you know, there was a lot
of things, the windows open,there's a lot of things just to make
it more comfortable. But we're finallyback in the full swing of things,
and she's like, okay, wellgreat, let's let's get it on paper
and let's schedule this. So meand Salma are like careening toward our bot
(14:28):
mitzva date. But also in thattime, as you know with your own
teenage daughter or preteen daughter, theychange overnight. Yeah. What started as
Mom, I'm so happy that we'retaking this Hebrew class together became I mean,
I guess it's cool. I mean, do you I was like,
what do you mean? And andand I don't take it, you know,
(14:48):
I don't. She just you know, she's just she's now a teenager.
Yeah, she's now been to abillion barnbot mitzvah's. And it's like,
I don't want that for me.Yeah, Like she's like, I
don't want to be the the centerof attention. I don't want that for
me. She's like, I dowant to have this with you. I
actually like spending this time with you, but I don't want to have a
big party with you. I wantus to do our thing, you know,
(15:09):
maybe we get an outfit. She'slike, but I want to have
you know, breakfast, not evendinner. And then I wanted to and
then I want to hang out withmy friends, Like I don't want to
do all this. Yeah, she'slike, and you always said the most
important part is, you know,the reading and the prayers and the actual
(15:31):
Judaism. The party's not the importantpart. And I had drilled it in
her head the party's not the importantpart. Now she says she doesn't want
the party, and I was like, but oh so, I mean anyway,
good for her for recognizing what shewants and you know, and being
able to communicate that. How areyou feeling? No, it's fine,
(15:54):
it's it's well. It's also finebecause we just stay fifteen percent on our
insurance. I mean, it wasyou know, these these these things are
extremely expensive. Um, can Icome and watch? You? Can you
can come? What are you talkingabout? I've never been to one before.
(16:15):
Well, if you come to mind, if you come to shalom and
when shalom and I become bought mitzvahit's literally not gonna be anything like what
a barn bought mitzvah is, likea barn bought mitzvah on Long Island is
one hundred thousand dollars wedding. Yeah, that's no, I want to I
(16:36):
like the sounds like, I know, no, that is what it sounds
like. I think Shalom is gettingactually sick of me because when we're singing
our songs, because you know,we we're now doing everything in the order
that it's going to be done.And I'm like, Shalom, you gotta
put your chest in it. Yougotta put some flair on it. And
she's like, mom, you're puttinga little too much flair, like the
(16:57):
teachers like girls. Because I'm like, bim bim bam, bim bam,
bim bim bam. And then likethe teachers, like, am I still
holding this note? She's like,we could reel it in there. Shalom
was like, can you just singit regularly? You have one you have
(17:18):
one finger up to your ear likeyou're holding your imaginary yes, yes,
because I'm like I wanted to gohard. She was like, I just
wanted to go Okay, how long? So had you not had to pause
because of COVID. When you startHebrew school, how long does it typically
take someone from start to finish?Well, like kids here around here start
(17:41):
when they're little ass kids. Theystart Hebrew school because they have the religious
lessons on top of like the learningor whatever I mean, It varies.
I am Shalom is a sponge.If we would have never stopped, she
would have been up and running withHebrew within eight months. You know,
you learn. You learn the theletters. Yeah, you learn that.
(18:03):
There are a few very random ruleswhere if it's you know, if if
if a vowel comes after this particularUM letter, than you know, they
have their own rules. There aresome weird exceptions. You learn those,
um. But like I'm old andmy brain doesn't do that, So like
I'll be pinching her under the table, like what's this one again? She'd
be like, I'd like, isit car or is it the Because there
(18:27):
are some sounds too that they makethat we don't make Mum. But Shalon
would have gotten it. I neededthat break and I needed the remedial work
when we got back into it,because my head was going to explode every
day. It's hard to me.Yeah, I have a hard time with
language too. I feel like languageand math for me must come from the
(18:48):
same place in my brain, whichis broken. So that's so cool.
So I have the same issue brookA Donnaya Lohan new melic Halm. She
was like, mom, please,like that sounds good. Yeah, but
(19:10):
then you got to get into thevehicuimanu vehigion. You got to get into
all that and like I just Ijust fall on. I need a lot
more practice than shalon. And howdoes somebody become certified to to teach what
she's teaching you? Um, she'sjust Jewish as hell and old. She's
(19:30):
always born for the job. I'myes, sorry if I'm asking too many
questions, you know. Um,the whole point of it is, it's
like these days because it's very importantto keep Jewish teenagers into the faith and
(19:55):
wanting to carry it into their dailylives and also into their future families.
Like we want Judaism to be whoyou are at all times, not just
this place you go sometimes. Yeah. So the whole point of your tour
portion is that your teacher tries tomake it meaningful to you when they assign
(20:21):
it. So, girl, Iam long winded than the motherfucker. The
point is I've been having a reallygood progressive time at our Hebrew lessons and
that led into randomly out of nowhereand my girlfriend Claire, who what went
to rabbinical school in Israel and canteach Hebrew. Wow, So like yeah,
so all of my questions that Ihave about stuff, I have two
(20:44):
friends that I can go through.There's her and then my other one who's
actual Israelian speaks Hebrew. Although Ifeel like really dumb asking her questions because
she'll be like that he's not withthat means, and I'd be like,
oh, this is your right,yes, okay. I mean she's like
I'm very no, she is likereally excited for me, but like I
(21:04):
you know, when you just feellike I'm this question is really dumb,
She's like no, no, noquestions are dumb. And then she'll answer
it and you'll be like, yeah, that was really dumb. Anyway,
we had a Shabbat dinner last night. It was really nice to get together
and like see everybody and you know, just have a very nice time.
The wine was flowing and then andlike it was such a weird like Shalom
(21:33):
came with these two families, thereare ten year olds and seven year old
so there was nobody for shaloone tohang out with it. I was like,
but it's a Shabbat dinner, whichis family together time, so you
should just put your little eyes shadowon it. Let's go. And she's
like really. I was like,you could sit at home and talk to
your homeboy every day all the time. You're not going to be able to
(21:53):
have, you know, a Jewishlife unless you participate in Jewish things.
And she was like, fine,I'll come. Everybody was like enamored to
be in the presence of a teenager. It was like, whoa, we
didn't expect you here, and soshe was like the talk of the town.
But it was so nice because hepulled one of the little boys aside
and he hates his curly hair,and she's like, let me tell you
(22:15):
something about curly hair. Because he'snot on TikTok, he doesn't know.
He's like, first of all,there are guys right now who are sitting
in salons two hours at a timegetting perms to get your hair. So
the fact that you don't like yourhair is crazy. Your hair is gorgeous.
You need to love it. Youneed to live with it, do
not cut it, and like thekids like, I still hate my hair,
but he's gonna get there. Andshe was like, I'm telling you
(22:37):
in eighth grade, because he's infourth grade. She's like, in eighth
grade that hair is the hair thateverybody wants. So technically you look really
cool right now. He was likeokay, So like it was nice to
have her there. That was mylast I should bought dinner my thorn.
Baby, you said I would.It's exactly what the fuck you said would
happen. Oh, it's exactly whatyou said would happen. You said,
(23:02):
Melissa, take it slow. Youdon't want to get burnt out? Does
that? Is that not what yousaid? It is what I said.
So I was supposed to be aclass at seven am, and baby,
I had to just pay the twelvedollar cancel because I couldn't do it.
How many times have you gone thisweek? I go Monday, Wednesday,
(23:32):
Saturday, and then Thursdays is yoga. So I was supposed to be there
this morning, but I had alovely time at Shabbat dinner. You know,
I had me a little glass ofwine. I came home took me
a little, you know, liveyour life. It's totally fine, yes,
yeah, totally fine. But alsoon Wednesday there was a you know,
(23:53):
the waits portion, like whatever it'scalled. What do you call that?
Late set? Must oh doms?I have it, really girl,
That shit was Wednesday, Saturday morning. I'm I'm raggedy. Yes, okay,
that's a great point. So mostpeople think that the bulk of the
soreness will happen the next day.However, doms tend to peak about forty
(24:17):
eight to seventy two hours after exercise, so the fact that you're feeling it
on Saturday is not uncommon, andthat's not out of your little window of
where you would experience it. Butthe thing to remember is that as you
get stronger and as you continue towork, those things will, you know,
get less and less. Doms reallyonly happens if you are like lifting
(24:41):
heavier or moving in a different way, so your you know, your body
will start to acclimate to that,and that you know, crazy intense soreness
that you may be feeling right nowa day, two days, three days
after your workouts will get a lotbetter, and you can help to relieve
it by doing some cardio or somelight movement and stretching and drinking lots of
(25:03):
water to help flush that lactic acidout of the system and just kind of
you know, most people want tosit down and and not do anything.
So today just you know, maybetake a light walk or you know,
pop in a little yoga video onYouTube and just kind of do some gentle
stretching and you should be good girl, because that class was Wednesday, right,
(25:25):
Yeah, Thursday night we went toyoga and down dog was fucking us
up. I looked over him.He looked like he was about to die.
He's like, dude, my shouldersand my traps are insane. I
was like, insane. I don'tfeel good, but like I was still
able to do it. It hurt, but I was still able to do
it. But then this morning,a whole two days later, yeah,
I was like, girl, myarms are broken real bad. So I
(25:48):
had to pay the twelve dollars,which is crazy. I should be allowed
to cancel anytime I want if you'recharging me that much a month, but
whatever, right, Okay, Ithe same fucking thing happened to me this
week. Scheduled a class for Thursdaynight. I got a migraine I could
not kick it, and so weended up not going to class on Thursday
night. They charged me ten dollarsfor a no show and if I don't
(26:11):
cancel, I think within like sixhours of the class happening, I get
charged ten dollars. I'm like,wait, how does that mark's And I'm
like, wait, I pay allthis money a month. You already have
the money. I would a littlewristband, and now I still have to
pay twelve dollars to whatever. Andthe thing is it has an eight hours
thing. Eight hours ago. Myarms didn't hurt though, right, Yeah,
(26:34):
I know it was six hours.I didn't have a migraine, and
like, what if I was vomitingall of a sudden. I think that
that's a bunch of bullshit. Imean, I understand they're trying to keep
people from like scheduling and taking spotsaway from other people and then canceling,
But at the same time, likeI paid the money ahead of time,
so it's not like it you know, you already have the money. Yeah,
(26:55):
you have the money. Yeah.I don't like that. And this
isn't like there were people waiting tocome in. If if I see that
there's no waiting list to get intothis class and I cancel it. That
should be a penalty freeze. It'slike, oh, yeah, you made
it. If there was a waitinglist and I cancel it, you should
be like, thank you, soyou can join now. But right,
(27:18):
and Justin's already canceled one before,so we got thirty six dollars worth of
that now, and I'm thinking aboutthat thirty six dollars same. I was
so mad about it last night.I had to go in and look at
the terms and conditions because I waslike, wait a minute, why are
these ten dollars charges happening? Yeah, thirty six dollars, and I was
like, we're going to change it. Well, I'm also going to be
(27:40):
like, we have two days thisweekend at Justin beck is buying me thirty
six dollars worth of something. Idon't care if I'm going to get the
eighteen dollars glass of wine or I'mgetting my thirty six dollars back. Somehow
someway today, even though I'm partof it. Two of them came from
you. Yeah, so um,roses and thorns. That's hysterical. I
(28:44):
don't know if we actually put thison a front facing episode or if we
didn't. But I know there wasone time where we had an episode and
we talked about, you know,words that are done. We can't do
it anymore, don't say that anymore. I hate that. I've already tuned
out. If I hear that word, it's over. And I think that
we should update that. We shoulddo a twenty twenty three version of stuff
(29:07):
that has to go, that stuffthat we should leave in twenty twenty two,
even though it's like literally January thirtyninth, and we should have done
this at the top of the year. It wouldn't be imperfect strangers unless we
relate to a trend. It's okay. Remember our new year doesn't start until
four twenty. Correct. We're reallyahead of things, so we are.
(29:30):
I hope that you have compiled yourlist. Yes, things you're sick of.
I've been very nervous because I waslike, oh God, we're gonna
we're gonna record this and have agood old time, and then we're gonna
listen back to it and be like, we can't post any of this live
because it's so incredibly rude. Yeah, I know, you know what though,
here's the thing, and I thinkif we preface it with I understand,
(29:53):
you know what it is. Weall everybody, everybody listening, everybody
out there in the world, weall I have, especially if you're chronically
on if you're a chronically online person, you know, like if you're a
person that like, you know what'sgoing on on TikTok, you know what's
going on on Twitter whatever. I'ma person that knows what's going on on
Twitter. Twitter has I think thequality of it, even with my very
(30:19):
specific, highly attuned timeline curation,it just hasn't been good. Like I
don't care what Elon Musk said ordid I do see the white supremacy and
I do see, you know,the push that he's trying to bring to
my timeline against my will, andall the ads and shit, Like I
(30:40):
spend half the day blocking ads soI can read the shit how I want
to read it. Jesus. Butif you are a person that's online and
you're with a person who's not,there's whole entire conversations you're having by yourself
in your head about what you sawon the internet because somebody say it out
loud to your person. Your person'slike, well, right, And then
(31:02):
you sound crazy going you know thething. The guy comes in, he
starts dancing, and then he goesand then he turned around and he's like
what. And then a month laterhe goes, Yo, I saw this
thing, and you're like, girl, that's the fucking thing I told you
about. It's literally my marriage.Yeah, and so you had you get
(31:26):
into this. I'm I'm I'm aperson who now when people send me things
or show me stuff and I haveseen it literally a year ago or two
weeks ago or whatever, I justgo yeah, totally LLL because I can't.
So anyway, that being said,I think we should have fun and
(31:48):
you know, face the backlash later. Okay, love it, um,
you can start and this could bethis could be words, trends, content
stuff we're sick of in twenty twentythree that we don't want to see anymore,
which ultimately will mean if you don'twant to see it anymore, you
(32:09):
guys are so judgment or why don'tyou just delete Instagram? Is shut up
here? Clearly you've never listened toan episode of this podcast. You can
turn it off now, free willjust turn it off? Go listen to
something boring. Okay. In twentytwenty three. I want to leave behind
(32:31):
Instagram and TikTok videos of you eatingfood. And I also do not want
to see photos of your food period. What if the food is pretty now,
I don't give a shit. Idon't want to see it unless it
is on a plate in front ofme and I'm going to eat it.
I don't care. Okay, wait, what about if you put it in
(32:52):
like you're talking about. You don'twant to see them chewing and all that
shit. Oh god, I donot want to see a camera on your
face while you're sitting in a restaurantshoveling shit into your mouth. I don't
want to sit at your kitchen tablewith you and listen to you moan and
groan over some sandwich you just made. I don't fucking care. There is
this woman. I don't know howI got invited into the reddit thread for
(33:15):
her. All of her fucking contentis her like eating in her car,
and I'm like, come up withsomething interesting. I don't want to sit
and watch you eat in your car. Why am I still in this reddit?
I cannot get out of here.Maybe this is a me problem,
but I hate it. Yeah,girl, you are punishing yourself. I
hate this content. I'm gonna golook at it, but hold on,
(33:37):
I'm gonna piggyback that. I'm gonnapiggyback onto that. I'm tired of you.
Motherfucker's filming in your car anything.What are y'all doing? No,
No, I'm talking about by yourselfin your car. You get behind the
steering wheel and it's like POVB likeor whatever. The fuck shut up.
(34:00):
You're in their car, by yourself, in a parking lot, and so
you're not even in a remote corner. I see life going on around you.
Aren't you embarrassed? Oh? Andwhen people catch them and they say,
oh, so and so's looking atme, Yes, you should be
embarrassed, be ashamed. Yeah,what are you just crazy? Why are
you in the car going? Andso, As it turns out, I
was trying to get into my practice. They get giggy giggy gist or they're
(34:20):
like story time, and then you'reyou're two minutes in the vent. Two
minutes is too long. You're twominutes into the video and you're like,
where's the fucking story? Okay.On that note, I hate it when
people are like watch till the endlisten till the end, and nothing happens.
Nothing happens, and it gets meevery fucking time, and every fucking
time I fall for it. Andthen I get to the end and I'm
(34:43):
mad that nothing exciting happened. See, I stopped listening to those story times
in the car because then it startedto be this motherfucking lady just lied on
a motherfucker. Now we're all figuringout how you lied on a motherfucker.
Remember last year when that happened thelady, I was gonna say, thinking
about the lady at Michael's, Yeah, she lied on the lady. Nobody
was trying to kidnap your fucking child. Stop this. Nobody was trying to
(35:04):
sex traffic, little Madison, stopit. I need you to stop it.
Crafts in your car and drive away. Stop this. Um yeah,
I'm tired of the content in thein the car front facing in the car.
Listen. It's one thing if you'rein the car with motherfucker's and you're
all having a conversation. Okay,this is a family or deal. Okay,
I get that, but just inthe car talking to yourself. An
(35:29):
entire page of tiktoks of that.So every day, you just talk to
yourself in the car. I mean, girl, I guess so Ye'll pay
my turn your turn, even thoughI just took over your turn. Um.
I don't know where this word comefrom. I keep seeing it and
(35:52):
I keep hearing it, and Idon't like it, and rarely has a
word itself. The definition of thisword is what the fuck? I don't
like? What? What's the ick? What the fuck are y'all talking about?
You don't like that ship? Justsay you don't like that ship?
(36:12):
Yeah, I'm sick of it seeingso of would you say that they're giving
you the ick? That's what I'msaying. And I thought I heard you
say it, and I was likeMelissa, if she said it, she
it was just like one of thoselike earworms. It happens. It happens,
(36:34):
you know, like ikey was normal? Right? Did they just abbreviate
ikey like that feels icky? ButI feel like ikey is a word that
you use with children, yeah,or in reference to weed if you're snoop
dog. Oh okay, it's dickyicky okay, right? But why do
(36:54):
we need to make that make thatannounce And while we're on the subject of
making things, nouns or making wordsmean things that they don't mean. That's
not what the fuck aesthetic means.That's not what the fuck that means.
Esthetic is a noun. Aesthetic isactually a generalized noun. It could be
any vibe, any style is theaesthetic. Aesthetic doesn't mean beige and plants
(37:23):
and minimalist and pink and you feelgood about it and you feel calm.
That's not what the fuck aesthetic means. I know that that's what you think.
It the fuck means that. That'snot what it means. And I'm
sick of you say in that wordwhen that's not what that means. I
mean, I want something aesthetic.What the fuck does that mean? Yeah,
what is the aesthetic you are tryingto achieve? You know? Aesthetic?
No, bit, No, that'snot what aesthetic means. Yeah,
(37:47):
that drives me nuts. There wasthis whole um. I forget who it
was. We have a listener,send us a link to a podcast episode
of like gens z Terms and sothey were quizzing millennials on if they knew
the terms or not, which ifyou're online in any capacity, all of
(38:07):
the words are stuff that you youknow, hear all the time. But
I feel like a lot of thesethings. I mean, I love slang,
and I love you know when thingsjust like feel right or they're like
really great for you know, acertain scenario or something that you can like
throw in and it's funny and it'sinteresting. But a lot of this shit,
(38:27):
like the whole ich thing, Ithink that that's just taking over because
people think that that's a funny.It's like a funny way to generate content.
Like I've seen a lot of themwhere people are going back and forth
like this is what you do thatgives me the ick. I don't know.
It's like sus. I also hatesustes us. Here's what it is.
(38:50):
Usually, by the time it getsto the internet and I'm seeing it
repeatedly, I already hate it.Yeah, I already hate it. I
already hate it. That's on period. Like I want to actually go back
and to lead our episode called thatbecause I fucking granted it was two years
ago, but I hate it nowand I wanted to not exist. It's
(39:15):
giving. Oh my god, that'son my list too. It's giving.
I fucking hate it's giving. Iwon't say it's giving, It'll be where
I almost want to say it,because that is what I mean, but
I won't say it because I can'tstand it. Stop telling me what it's
giving. I hate that. I'mOkah, my god, that was on
(39:38):
my list too. It's giving.Trying to think of some others that came
up. You know what else Ihate? What I hate post pandemic.
You motherfucker. We're still oh mygod, we're still in it. We're
still post pandemic. What are youtalking about post pandemic? When is that?
(39:59):
When's that going to be? Atwhich time? Okay, just be
okay. What you really mean isnow that I don't give a fuck about
the pandemic. That's what you mean, now that I don't give a fuck
about the ongoing pandemic, which isfine. I'm guilty of that too.
I'm up in orange theory, breathingin the COVID. But I wouldn't say
(40:22):
it's post pandemic. I would saythat it is. It is current pandemic.
Moving on with my life and hopingfor the best, and I'll see
it in ten years when I havemy heart, you know. Because words
mean things, Oh they do allthe time, Crystal Jean. I don't
(40:43):
want to hear that. I hatewhen people use the word verbiage when they're
meaning copy or content. That usedto drive me up the wall. I
remember, and it's been a longlong time since I've been in corporate America,
but when people, you know,because I'm as a designer, you're
constantly working with other people's content,and somebody say, okay, well we
(41:06):
need to get the verbiage for that, and I was like, that's literally
not what that word fucking means.Verbiage is not a substitute for copy,
just a copy. It's the copy, right. Verbiage would be the step
before the copy where you guys aretrying to figure out what the copy will
be. Oh god, and itstill makes me prickle. Um, let
(41:31):
me see what next on my list? I mean I hate Okay, go
ahead, do you know I wantto leave Justin Bieber in twenty twenty two?
Oh my god, it's not justit's not just you then, because
(41:51):
I'm not I don't know what I'vedone. I don't know what I said.
You get his shit all the timeher Haley yes, and I stopped
Hailey yes. And so he's justin the background and his little sloppy Drew
outfit, and I'm like, whereare they going together? And his molester
mustache? No, thank you,and it's like, I don't know anything
(42:14):
about you, young man. I'msure you're a great person, but for
this. I didn't ask for this. You sold your catalog for two hundred
million dollars. I'm proud of you. I'm happy for you. Why am
I looking at this? And Ihope Usher gets a piece? Why am
I looking at this? And Ido? I think Ashley Ashley, whatever
the fuck her name is. Ithink she's a gorgeous, stunning lady.
(42:35):
I do. Why am I lookingat this? Why does it keep to
what is? What? In thealgorithm? Told you that I need to
see pictures of her at all times? Same with Northwest. I said I've
had enough. I told you,no, not interested, not interested,
not interested. It's a fucking wallof blurry photos at this point. And
(42:59):
y'all still are not listening to me. Well, while we're leaving people in
the past, can we also leaveHilaria Baldwin in twenty twenty two. I
thought we were going to say,at the end of twenty what are you
talking about? Let's get into afucking time machine and what year was she
born? Oh, I think she'smy No, she's younger than I am,
(43:20):
so she's probably like an eighty three, eighty four eight. Okay,
so let's go to nineteen eighty fourand make that not happen because I'm sick
of it. She got exposed,yet the grift continues. That video this
week or she pulled that accent outagain and I was like, bitch,
we all know your Hillary. Youguys are you guys are waiting outside of
the escuela girl. If you don'tfucking stop, pleiss pliss, I'm not
(43:45):
going to talk to you. Thisis very barely gristope for the children,
like a girl. If you don'tfucking stop this, I'm so Hillary,
Hillary, what are you doing?I've had enough. You're never gonna be
Matthew McConaughey's wife. It's just nothow it happened, So just stop it.
(44:06):
She can stay, she can stayon the internet because I was gonna
say, there's listen, there's somemom content out there that's getting on my
nerves. But there are some momsthat I'm like, you can stay.
Jennifer Garner, you can stay.For some reason, I'm not I like
her I don't. I'm not botheredby her. I like Matthew McConaughey's wife.
I'm not bothered by her. There'sa lady on the internet. She
(44:27):
is the mother of a little boynamed um Samaj. I like her.
He works at five below, he'sfive years old. Whatever, I love
him. There's there's some moms whereI like what they're doing. I'll take
that, you know what I'm saying. But there are other moms. I
(44:49):
need you to stop dancing right now. How do you have time? You
said you just said you were anxiousif you're dancing, What is the truth.
What is the truth? Because notonly are you dancing, doing a
whole routine, and it be likeand whatever the fuck left and night?
Yes, and know whatever you're doing. And then you're saying that you're anxious
(45:12):
and you're this and you're that.But then you've recorded this video, and
then you sat there and you editedthe video and you probably get it in
one take this too. Oh yes, Then you sat there and edited it,
then you sat there and posted it. Then you sat there on the
back end and watched how it did. Then you made another video saying did
you have to get back up anddo it again. Sometimes you know that
(45:35):
video won't hit and I'm just like, I don't need to know that part.
But I also know that somebody's lyingbecause you ain't anxious if you went
through that whole process multiple motherfucking timesand then got back up and did it
again after it. So miss mewith that shit? Oh not miss me?
Okay, I'm bringing that one back. It's your term. Well,
(46:06):
this is one that I know thatwe have the same because as we were
discussing this, you typed it andI had literally just written it notes I
do not want to see white peoplerecipes or white people cooking. Hold on
now, hold on now, Iam not the racist. I did not
say she said that. I saidit with my whole chest. But what
(46:31):
did I send? Did I justsend a random video of a person cooking?
Um? I think you sent avideo. Here's here's the thing.
And I'm not sure if we're tryingto be relatable or this is really how
you guys. I was about tosay, you people, how you people
(46:52):
making really disgusting and listen, youmight be going but Amanda, you don't
cook. But Amanda, you tellus all the time that I'm not I
Okay, okay, okay, Iremember now. I remember now. I
said, I'm tired of watching youcook for your twelve kids. I'm sick
(47:15):
of it. Yeah, you're boilinga bunch of hamburger helper and you're putting
a lot of motherfucking cheese on someshit. I don't give a fuck.
I'm happy that all the motherfucker's gotto eat, I am, but that's
not content to me. I watcheda woman yesterday and she lit something on
fire on top of her counter.Then she poured a whole pot of spaghetti
(47:38):
noodles on top of the counter.Then she poured sauce on it, whole
cloves of garlic, then poured vodkaon it, then lit it on fire
again. They were like eight stepsand she's just putting shit on the counter
and mixing it with her hands andthen scraped. Then she scrapes it off
(47:59):
the side of the counter into acasserole dish. Why yes, okay,
that's what I wrote down here.Excessive food waste videos. Why y'all waste
this food? Well, first ofit's going to get food, but also
when they put it directly on thetable and the whole family eats off of
the table. No, you knowwhat I'm talking about. Yes, I
(48:21):
know exactly what you're talking about.And I hate that. I hate that,
and I report it. I'm blockand report. I block and report
because that is hateful and people wherethey targeting me. I hate it.
It's a hate crime. I'm sickof it. I don't. I don't.
(48:43):
Stop wasting products, Stop wasting.Stop putting a bunch of fucking chemicals
in the toilet and putting your handsin it. You're fucking weirdo. I'm
saying, excessive waste videos. I'mdone with that. It should no longer
be allowed, especially not in thiseconomy, not in the way that y'all
claim to care about the fucking earth. Y'all just put a hor a whole
motherfucking jar of ajax and the toilet, are you okay? And then they
(49:05):
mix and then they mix shit,and I'm like, you were literally going
to die with the chemicals that you'repoor, dumbass? What the fuck?
Yeah? Okay, well good,I hate that too. And then and
now the next thing on my listis shook and shook it, shut the
(49:25):
fuck up. I'm sick of it. It should have been over six years
ago. I'm tired of it.Are you shook? And shook it?
And I'm upset because whoever made thatup? It was clever at the time,
but it's been abused and abused andabused, so now we need to
disabuse ourselves of that motherfucking term.Don't say it anymore. I am shook
it. No, you're not.Shut the fuck up. Nothing is the
(49:49):
only way you could really truly beshook. I don't want you to say
it unless it's a fucking seven Richterscale earthquake. Shut up. Nothing is
gonna shook you to the core likethat. Stop. I hate my guy.
I think Lucas is a YouTube thing. No, it's a New York
(50:12):
thing, okay, and they're ruiningit drives me nuts. I hear the
whatever the boys watch. Watch outmy guy, Hey, my guy,
No, stop ruined. Okay.I should never have crossed over into that
area, My guy is specifically NewYork. It does not belong to the
(50:36):
Internet. It belongs actually in thestreets of New York. I don't appreciate
that. That's appropriation, that's culturalappropriation. Is inappropriate. Um the next
thing, I fucking hate and ftshut your motherfucking scamming ass up. My
god, we should have been donewith that a long ass time ago.
Don't talk to me about it,Goddamn NFT. I don't want to hear
(50:59):
about it. Nonible token, Whatthe fuck does that mean? You are
a scammer? All you are asa scammer. If you are into NFTs
and you sell NFTs and you claimthat you made money on NFTs, you
are a scammer. Scammer, Idon't want to hear it. And also,
those monkeys are racist. It's uncomfortable. Get it out of here.
Okay, NFT. Let's add NPC. If I hear one of my children
(51:21):
try to insult the other telling themthat they are an NPC, I will
fucking throw up punch somebody. Whatis it again? An NPC is a
non playable character. It's a reference, I believe to a video game or
specifically the SIMS, and it isany character in the game that is not
you're not able to control, likewith your controllers. So they're just like
(51:43):
a random person that's in the gamethat you may interact with, but they
are not playable. Okay, youknow what I Well, on that note,
anybody that is doing the Beyonce,Dubai Drunken Love Run. You are
now an NPC. You're an NPC. I want to turn you off.
I'm tired of it. Let's justlet Beyonce seeing it right. Shut your
(52:15):
motherfucking ass up. Shut up,shut up. I don't want to see
your fucking Edward scissor hands all inthe fucking sky while you're Yeah, shut
up. I'm sick of it.I'm sick of it. Just let Beyonce
do it. I've come across acouple where they could really sing, but
(52:36):
shut up. Oh yeah, Icaught a couple of those the other day.
I was like, Oh, that'snot okay, you're turned My list
is very long, by the way, I figured Churns would be. UM
that this might surprise some people.UM, I need you white women with
(53:01):
tattoos. All of my grievances areagainst white women. You're like, what
y'all are doing is making it harderfor me. Please, it really is,
guys. Really you need to stop. It's near not making it any
better. White women on TikTok,please stop telling me that my spirit guides
(53:28):
are contacting you. I need youto stop showing me a tarot card.
I need you to stop telling mewhere you know the planets are and that
I need to manifest and then Ican I can quantum leap. I need
it to stop. Hold on,I thought you liked that shit. I
like people that are like actually credentialed, Like I want to hear that ship
(53:51):
from Kren. I want to hearthat shit from Andy. I want to
hear that ship from Amber. Who'smaking those witchy candles and incense? I
want I want those people to tellme you're talking about lady. I feel
like regular white women are now likejust grifting, like they're you know,
miss Cleo in here, she wasgrifting too. She was grifting too.
(54:17):
But actually, like I don't mindit with miss Cleo because I like the
whole. I like the grift.I want to buy it, and you
understood it and it was a partentertainment. This is the women are really
serious talking about. I see yourrams. Yes, I can read the
Acoshic records. Fuck you, nofair, Fair Hello out there in the
(54:43):
Imperfect Strangers Podcast universe. Thank youfor listening to the show, Thank you
for your support. If you wantmore Imperfect Strangers in your life, make
sure that you are subscribing to theshow wherever you listen to podcasts, except
for Spotify. We're sorry about that, but we just did not like being
over there given some of the stuffthat happened with it the last year.
So sorry Spotify users. But thereare tons of other places where you can
(55:06):
listen to the show, and youcan find links to those from our website
and also from our social media,specifically Instagram. You can find us on
Instagram at Imperfect Strangers Underscore podcast onTwitter at Strangers. We've recently joined TikTok.
We're tooled to be doing this,but there we are. You can
find us on TikTok at Imperfect Strangerspod, give us a follow. You'll
(55:29):
find new episodes of this show everyFriday, so make sure you're subscribed so
that you don't miss out, andthen make sure to join us on Mondays
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we answer your questions, and wealways go off topic. So miss
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(55:49):
your life, because I know thatsome of you are just like give me
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(56:09):
Lives, so if you miss aliveon a Monday, you can always catch
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(56:30):
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