February 24, 2023 • 59 mins
Melissa is about to take a road trip to Vermont to visit Danny. We all know she is not a nature lady, hence why she prepared for the visit with a trip to the beauty supply. Amanda regales us with her expertise in a new segment called Old Lady Gym where Melissa gets to ask questions about health and fitness now that she’s an athlete. The two get serious and down deep about tackling negative self-talk too. [positivity overload] Let’s do this!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
I had something specifically that it cameon here and wanted to talk about,
and then I got on here andthen I can't remember. Oh I've been
racking my brain for an hour.Oh shit. I was like, what
was it? Something that you readin the news. Well, the thing
(00:22):
that I'm reading in the news,I don't. We can't discuss because then
it's going to send you on afucking tailspin. It's um I was.
(00:54):
I tried to stay out of it. I tried. I tried to you
know, smooth brain my way throughthis, and I can't because this is
like what do I want to say. I can't do apocalypse films. I
can't do especially ones where it's likeas a result of climate change or like
(01:18):
things that we're doing to destroy theearth. So this train crash and quote
unquote controlled burn and the fallout thatwe're experiencing and it's far reaching from what
I understand, is just like thatis my worst nightmare. I had a
(01:41):
stress dream about it last night.I had a dream that I caused a
giant explosion off of this beach becausewe were just doing something innocent. We
were building this like large rainbow towerthat looked like a lighthouse. Don't ask,
I don't know, but we builtit and then I was like,
Okay, I think we have totake this apart now. And so we
started taking it apart, and partof it fell over and like hit these
(02:05):
big they almost looked like pro paintanks but kind of like almost like a
mix between a pro pain tank anda smoker, like a you know,
a meat smoker, and it shotoff all of these like sparks into the
dark, and I was like,oh fuck. So we like took off
running and I was like I knewI was responsible for this like giant natural
(02:25):
disaster. I guess it's not anatural disaster, so a man made disaster
because I did it. And wherewhere I'm like packing up the stuff in
my house because I have to leavebecause now apparently I'm like a seasonal worker
in this place, and so likemy family gets to leave, but I'm
like talking to my neighbor who's likestuck living there because this is where she
(02:46):
lives full time. It was whoI had a skunk as a pet.
I like opened my front door andthere was like a cute little skunk sitting
on top of my mailbox, andI was like, I guess this is
my pet now. It was sostrange. Scariest part of your dream was
the part where you said you weretalking to your neighbor. What in the
world is going on? I don'tknow, I don't know. It was
(03:08):
wild and I was like, I'mgoing to go to jail for this for
the rest of my life. I'vejust wasted my entire life because I caused
this disaster, when in reality,the people that caused the disaster I will
suffer no consequences. They really won't. And I got into a wormhole of
all the stuff going on in Ohioand I was like, um, what
(03:30):
do you mean they didn't tell youfor three days that you should leave?
Yes, and so people just Iwatched this woman who owns a farm,
and I think she said she's likemaybe nine miles somewhere between like five and
nine miles from the crash, butthe city only told these folks within the
(03:53):
one mile radius that they were indanger. And she was like, so
after three days, she went upand talked to some cops that were waiting
on a road near her house.I think they were creating a roadblock or
something, and she was like,you know, be honest, with me,
would you leave And they were like, yes, absolutely, I would
leave. And they were like,I don't even want to be here right
now, and we're instructed to evacuateat this specific time, so gather up
(04:17):
what you can and get out anddon't come back until it's truly safe.
So she like gathered up farm animalslike Noah's Ark, putting them all into
this horse trailer, trying to getthem out. And then she said when
they came back a few days later, and this was, you know,
three days after it happened, shehad sick animals, she had dead animals,
(04:40):
just and that's from the air andthe water. Yes, I mean
people were reporting pets dying. I'veseen people who work in the area but
don't live there coming home, likeone girl had these like bloodshot eyes.
Now obviously like you can't like there. I mean, there was a picture
yesterday of the Ohio River like downby Covington, and Covington is northern Kentucky,
(05:03):
so it's literally right over the riverfrom Cincinnati, and somebody was like,
oh, I've you know, I'venever seen the Ohio River shiny before.
That river's trash. Anyways, it'sbeen polluted since I was little,
not to make light of the subject. I do know that plume of chemicals
is coming down here because they've shutoff our intake from the Ohio River.
(05:24):
But there's some stuff that I thinkpeople are just trying to Like I've seen
people saying their coffee creamer is likesizzling in their coffee. Like things that
are just like definitely like not asa result of this. So you really
have to be careful where you're consumingyour media from. Yeah, but it's
the stories that I feel are credible, are terrifying, and you know,
(05:46):
you feel sad for these people.This woman was like, I have to
I have to accept the fact thatI may be battling cancer in my thirties
as a result of this. AndI'm like, oh god, girl,
it is some Aaron Brockovitz shit goingon, right, And where do you
go? You can't can your house, nobody's going to buy your house.
(06:06):
Nope, you would have to uprootyour entire life. And this is you
know, these aren't like, thesearen't like big metropolitan areas. This is
a small town Ohio. This isyou know, blue collar for the most
part, So that's not like andif you can't sell the house. You
also can't sell the land. Yeah, no one wants to be in that
(06:29):
area. It'll just be the desertedChernobyl place. Yeah. And how far
is it from you? It's aboutfour hours east of us. Stay over
there. Yeah, okay, right, But like you know, my dad
and I were talking, we haveelevated train tracks down town Cincinnati that are
like right along the river, andthose ships don't look like they have been
(06:53):
maintained for ages. And so thenyou start to think about, oh my
god, what about the trains thatcome through here and cross over the river
or are like right next to youknow, major business buildings. Listen,
people like all the people that liveand work down there. It could happen
anywhere to anybody in any town becausethe train this is the the vortex I
(07:16):
got into this morning. The trainsare carrying chemicals in amounts that are insane
and so, and they're not regulatedeither the amounts you're allowed to carry or
whatever they say they are. Butyou know, to cut corners, people
(07:38):
are doing what they do. Yeah, so it could be anyone anywhere where
there is a train carrying chemicals.There is an erin Brockovich near you.
So this is and the crazy partis that I had to seek this information
out. So it's like they're purposefullynot making it front and center information,
(08:00):
which is scary. Would you sayit's being obfuscated? No, because I
would use obfuscate as a verb.But yeah, I'm so horrible. I
was trying to I was trying toput back that vocabulary podcast. I do
(08:22):
love vocabulary words. But speaking ofwhere would you go? I guess you
would move your whole family into anRV and travel the world. That's the
other vortex because I got stuck inthis morning, and wow, I'm judgmental,
So oh, you don't think thatit's a good idea to put your
family in an RV and homeschool themand drive them around the country. Bro,
(08:45):
I watched maybe six or seven videosof this one family of traveling people,
and it's like, out of theseven videos that I watched, I
peeped at their fourteen year old literallywas living in an existential hell. All
of the videos are the children goinginto coals or Walmart, clearly as you
(09:09):
know, choosing items that they canbuy with their debit card, and how
they earn money and how they earnmoney is helping mom and dad maintain this
fucking nomadic life that fucking sucks becomingthe children? Do they have three?
Okay? And it was you know, mall parking lot showers, and it
(09:30):
was one of the videos was theteenager had been asking for a long time
for a plant that they'd like totake care of on the RV and after
days it said days of research,the teenager chose an orchid. And I
was like, I'm okay, homeschoolis not working so good. Never who
(09:54):
chooses an orchid willingly? No?No, no, who chooses just spork
after days of research? Is thechild reading what must be two researchers.
So then they showed that the orchad died after three days. So because
(10:18):
the kids spent their own money,the mom gave the money back and so
they're gonna choose a different plant totake care of. Meanwhile, the family
of five also has three rats thatthey take care of in the RV.
So you mean to tell me youpurposefully have a traveling home that would eliminate
(10:43):
the possibility of getting mice, butyou put rats in the motherfucker on purpose?
Okay. So after about seven videos, I was like, let me
block this family. I can't eatthis. I was getting the child.
The child chose a fiddly fig.Dude, I'm gonna send you the link
(11:05):
and you're just gonna you're gonna andyou're gonna pick at random the videos to
watch. And when you see thechild in the background that I'm talking about,
you're gonna be like, oh mygod, the kid just wants to
go home. Oh. For thefifteenth birthday, all the kid wanted was
a hotel room. Um, momread the fucking room. Oh, hotel
(11:28):
room specifically read that one. Oh. I think I used to follow this
couple. Their Instagram I think wascalled one hundred and sixty six square feet,
and he was a computer programmer,maybe like an app developer, and
she had some kind of like parttime job remote but then she also had
(11:50):
like an Etsy shop where she soldjewelry, and they both liked interior design,
and so the bulk of their contentwas like following them around the US
and this little tiny camper trailer whateveryou wanna call RV. And then they
upgraded, and so then the contentkind of turned into like them like customizing
(12:11):
the space, which I think isinteresting and I think that that kind of
lifestyle would be fun. I knowyou say never period, but like,
as a young person with no children, if you had that option, I
think that would be fun to dofor a couple of years. But I
can't imagine raising a family, especiallywith a teenager. A teenager, listen,
(12:33):
how long have they been at it? A year and a half?
Oh? No, So the kidwas like, oh, shoot, taken
out of middle school, which isalready a time rife with problems. Like
the kid literally wants a floor thatdoesn't move and to be left the fuck
alone. Yeah, honestly, that'sso sad. Also, like just the
(13:01):
the logistics, right, you're gonnahear your mom fucking you know what I'm
saying. I mean, can youimagine? No, but can you imagine?
And I'm sure they're like we findother ways, but like where you're
in an RV, like in arestop bathroom? Where where where I don't
(13:26):
want to hear the mice? Andthat's like my I mean, mice require
a sizeable cage. So like howbig is this RV? Oh a sizable
cage? You say? They basicallymade an area for just the mice,
and it's like pantry sized for justthe mice, and then on travel days
(13:50):
they have pouches that they wear aroundtheir necks with the mice in them.
And then when the car lands theRV lands day, put all the cage
back together and put the mice backin their cages. Girl, Oh,
that just seems like an added layerof stress that you would not want or
(14:15):
need in an RV life. Youknow what, Give me a set of
parents that don't come to my playand drink excessively on the weekends any day
of the goddamn week as long asthe house stays motherfucking still. Because oh
(14:35):
no, I'm a terrible person.I know this, and I'm so sorry.
And you know what I'm gonna say. I just felt so bad for
the teenager because I'm planning a roadtrip and I've already like been thinking hard
and long about you know how Ican make it more palatable for shalom the
teenager take You're taking a road trip? Yep, I am okay, kid,
(15:01):
I mean at Liberty to explain itlands it lands somewhere. Well,
I want to go see Danny andI've never been to Vermont. Uh huh,
So we're taking a little road tripto Vermont what's hilarious is I booked
a little hotel, I said,because I don't know, you know,
like I'm not like you organized withfamily shit whatever. Like we said we
were taking a road trip and Iwas like, oh, we better get
(15:22):
to the beauty supply store like best, you know, because I'm thinking of
things we can do in the car. I want to try this lip bomb.
I want to try this I bringI'm Justin's like no, Just's like,
big, we need to go toCostco. Dumbass. I was like,
oh, yeah that. So whenI said I'm gonna come and visit,
would that be cool, you know, because then we can get the
(15:43):
girls together. Because he has adaughter the same age as Shira, I
can see the cabin, you know, And I made it clear to him.
I was like, look, Iwant to look at the nature,
but I don't want to like trekto get down. It's like I want
to drive to look at it,and then I want to sit back at
the cabin with you know what I'msaying, I want to order and yelled
at that, and I was like, don't have me trying to be skiing
and tobogganing and all that shit forus I'm not coming. He's like,
(16:06):
no, no, no, it'sfine. We're gonna make it work,
you know. And I was like, and I'm gonna have a fresh blowout,
so i don't want to sit soclose to the fire. Um,
he's already sick of me, alreadysick on me. I was like,
you know what I mean, Iwant to like y'all got WiFi, Like,
what are we really talking about it? I want to see you and
I love you, but it's gotterms. So the first the first hotel,
(16:33):
I show, how far of adrive is Vermont from you? Um,
it's like four to six hours depending. Oh my god, that's not
even anything that's a road trip.Okay, that's like that is that's a
quick trip up to Chicago for theweekends, especially now that I'm an athlete
(16:56):
and I have my little Nalgene bottleof thirty two anounces that I'm drinking out
goddamn day. That is a longtrip. So um, okay six hours
in the car, God damn it. Anyway, So and I'm not like
you you know what I mean,Like, I don't first thing I did
was hotels in Vermont, you knowwhat I'm saying. And I'm not bougie.
(17:22):
And also I have to take intoaccount my thirteen year old is not
trying to stay in the same roomas me. Will she have to stay
in the same room as her sisters? Yes she will. Will the rooms
need to be next door? Yes? Do I prefer it to be at
Jackie Jelle. I do. Butyou know, the more you put these
restrictions on, the harder is goingto be defined a room. And at
this point, after I've searched andsearched and searched, the only things that
are coming up. Like it was, it was a little Amanda on my
(17:45):
shoulder, going, You're just gonnahave to get an Airbnb. I'm telling
you, You're just gonna have toget an Airbnb. And I was like,
and I will not do an Airbnb. And I will not do an
Airbnb. So I'm looking, looking, looking, and I find a fucking
regular you know, I just wanta regular hotel. Can it have you
know, some good ratings? Whatever? I send Danny the information of the
(18:07):
hotel that I'll be staying at.At which point in the middle of the
night, I get a text fromDanny's boyfriend, who is a farmer.
So it's Green Bubbles you know whatit is. He is not, you
know, like this man milks cows. He don't know nothing about what Melissa
Beck is talking about. But hewas just like, Hey, very excited
for you to come down. Listen, I'm gonna send you a couple of
(18:32):
links for some airbnbs that would bemore appropriate for the trip that you guys
are planning, because the hotel thatyou picked is the one that people go
to when they're visiting family in theprison. I was like, oh,
nowhere in the reviews did it saythat, which listen, I'm not mad
(18:56):
at that. And then I keptreading and it was like and also it's
you know where the trucker's rest.I was like, okay, okay,
but you know me, I'm country. You can't take the Valrico out of
me. I'm not scared of afamily meeting, you know, visiting someone
in prison, because that's that's whoI am too. You know what,
I think we got some people lockdown. It's okay. Sometimes you gotta go
(19:17):
see the motherfuckers, and sometimes yougot to stay at the holiday and express
on the side of the road todo that, and that's okay. I's
like, that's okay. So Itold Justin. I was like, listen,
we're really not gonna be there.It's just gonna be where we're gonna
sleep. And he's like, juststashed my phone. Was like, just
move, I'll do it. Sonow Justin's looking at airbnb's, airbnb's airbnb's
and we're sending them to Danny alongthe way, like what about this one?
(19:41):
What about this one? He's like, well, that's three hours away.
Well that's two hours away. That'sthis, and that's that, and
you know what, I will havealready been in the car hell of hours.
So I'm not going hella more hoursto visit my friend, you know,
I want to be up the street. Yeah. And it's looking more
and more like it's going to bean Airbnb till finally I find a cute
little hotel in a little skiing townwhatever. But you can't you can't um
(20:04):
book it online. You know,it's powered by Wicks or whatever. You
know what this is. It's apod on little Yeah. And I'm looking
at the room. Yeah, I'mlooking at the rooms and you know,
it's quilty. It's fine. SoI call over there and I make friends
with the lady who runs the place. She's lovely, and she was like
(20:27):
okay, and then she was like, okay, so are you guys gonna
be skiing? So she's going throughall the things and she went through the
whole thing, and I was like, ma'am, I really just need the
rooms to be clean and side byside. I'm just going to visit a
friend. You know, he livesthat old country life. And I was
like, but I'm a city galejust coming into visit. She started dying
(20:47):
that because she's like, so youwon't be skiing. And then she's like,
and you won't need this. She'slike, well, the children like
the fireworks. I was like,yeah, so we're going through the things
that I would like to do.Yeah, And I'm basically going to the
little shop around the corner. You'regonna eat some pancakes one of these days
with some nice little Vermont syrup,and that's gonna be it. I'm gonna
have me a nice old time.I went to the beauty supply store,
(21:11):
which is what I think we needbecause I you know, I'm gonna be
in charge of now four girls.So we've got face masks, we've got
all kind of checked in, madesure if his daughter had sensitive skin,
so I got some sensitive skin stufffor her. We've got whole entire kits
for makeup. I've got featherbellets,I've got sunny sunglasses. We're gonna have
a good old time. We're gonnajournal, we're gonna do some hot chocolate
self care stuff, and that's youknow what it's going to be. It's
(21:37):
not by the dispensary. So meand you know, after we put these
kids down, me and Danny coulddo a little thank dazzle and it'll be
cute. That said, the wholetime, I have been concerned about whether
or not, you know, Shalomis going to be able to have a
nice time. Yeah. So,and you know her BF is a dude.
(22:00):
So I asked Jess. I waslike, would it be inappropriate for
us to invite him? And Iwas like, but then we just have
to get another room h And Chillanwas like, actually it's cool, mom,
you don't have to bend that muchover backwards. I don't want him
to come anyway because then he's withyou guys. I was like, oh
(22:22):
yeah, and she was like,I dare you. I'm like, I
think we're really nice people and She'slike, I, I you are,
but no. I was like,okay, so that'll be us, wish
me luck. I'm so excited foryou. So okay, I know that
(22:44):
you're going to do like those thingsthat you just told me, but like,
are you going to do some VERMONTIthings? Listen. I sat my
kids down and I was like,we are going to go visit my friend,
mister Danny. We're gonna have agreat time because we're meet his job
water. They're like, what's thereto do in Vermont? And I was
just like, you know, thinkabout white people and the stuff they like.
(23:12):
I was like, you know,we'll see a waterfall or two.
I'm sure there's that. I'm surewe'll go to a creek or something.
And I was like, you know, I'm sure we can go look at
handmade quilts. We can go pickout a syrup or two. I'm sure
there's gonna be great beef jerky thaty'all are allowed to eat because you don't
eat red meat. I was like, we'll find things. Are you close
to the ben and Jerry's I guessDanny says he wants to go tubing,
(23:37):
which that sounds like something where youcould break a two, you can have
a medical emergency. So I waslike, oh, no, you should
totally go tubing. It's so muchfun. What is it. It's like
sledding and it's but it's at aski resort, so it's all like,
you know, pack down snow andyou just take the little lift to the
top of the bunny hill and slidedown. Your girls would have so much
fun. You should drift, Okay, So when you're tubing, there's like,
(24:03):
um, I think the one becausewe have one at Perfect North.
My kids have a field trip therein middle school in the in the winter.
So you just like stand on thelittle conveyor belt and you grab onto
the rope and then it just likepulls you to the top of the bunny
hill and then you get off.It's like, um, it's like a
moving sidewalk at the airport. Nysaid that. I said, justin and
(24:26):
you will have a lovely time showingthe girls that you know you should do
it. And then you can gosit. There's like a probably a little
lodge you can sit in and getyour little hot chocolate. Oh that's what
I will be doing. That's whatI will be doing anywhere they're sitting and
hot chocolate. That's what I willbe doing. But the activity looking listen,
(24:49):
I've looked at I found it.I found it. I found an
an art exhibit, like a modernArt of Vermont. Whatever that we'll go
check. Okay, um, Ifound uh whatever, you know, wind
chimes and bullshit like that. We'regonna look at that. There's a spider
web farm in Vermont. Well,that's crazy. Let's relax. I wonder
(25:12):
what they do. You know whatwe're gonna be doing. We're gonna be
ordering food and talking. That's whatwe're gonna be doing. It's gonna be
pretty on the outside, but I'mreally going to be on the inside looking
at it. And that's okay.And then, you know, a couple
of the times, I'm gonna letDanny take the reins and show us,
you know, his little country life. Yeah, but I said, most
(25:34):
of that gotta be you know,we get to the destination, we enjoy
the thing, we get back home. You's know what I'm saying. I
don't want to be outside exema allthis, and I'm gonna be open minded.
It's gonna be really nice. It'sgonna be really fun. And then
the next time Danny comes and visitsme, because you know, we're gonna
(25:56):
start taking turns because we're not farfrom each other. It's like si,
we you know, don't see eachother. And also my kids never see
hopefully. He said it hasn't beenvery much snow and I was like,
oh, yes, and he's likethat's bad. I was like, oh,
so, you know, I justdon't want to be so cold,
but I want my kids to havea nice you know, country bumpkin time,
(26:19):
meet a friend or two. Youknow, Yeah, it'll be it'll
be fine. Danny's excited. Ithink you're gonna have a good time.
Danny's excited. He's like, youare going to be so out of your
element because it's you. And Iwas like, okay, I bet you'll
(26:41):
have really delicious like you know,like you're gonna find like a good breakfast
place and you can have like biscuitsand gravy and some pancakes like you said
with Vermont Syrup. Oh I'm sojealous. I've never been to Vermont before
neither, I've never I've never beenthere. I'm like, what goes on
(27:02):
and Vermont apparently Danny knows, somhmm. We'll see. I got so
much stuff. I got handwarmers,I got toewarmers, I got I got
a new scrub because, um,you know, I would be exfoliating on
(27:23):
vacation. It'd be cute. It'llbe cute. And I have like a
couple of cute new they're designer,but they're still prairie. I got a
cute I got a couple of cutein a little prairie dresses that I'll wear
with layers underneath. I have,you know, for I have for coats.
(27:45):
I have heels for when we're inthe cabin. You know, heels
in the cabin. Fashion doesn't stopjust because I'm in a fucking rural place.
You need like you need like thecozy cotton socks, like the moraled
cotton socks. Oh, I haveall those crash put them on with the
heels in the cabin. Well.I still can't remember what it was I
(28:45):
was going to talk to you about, but I did think. I did
think this morning that now, sinceI'm an athlete and you are an expert
athleticism, we should have a cutelittle old lady Jim Corner. H huh.
(29:07):
For as long as I'm an athlete. We could do a two minute
little segment and they can have hisown little musical interlude thing, you know
whatever. You can even play thatunderneath. I'm sure that's fair. Use
what is that Monday night football somethingon Old Lady Jim Corner. Ogie on
(29:34):
Old Lady Jim. I can askyou my pressing athletic questions, and you,
who you know does have expertise andexperience in this field, can answer
my questions, and then you know, that'll be it for that segment.
(29:55):
I think that's that it's important,especially because our listeners are of a certain
age where they too are feeling like, huh, I'm gonna have to get
this fitness thing in order so thatI can live a longer life. And
I love that you're asking me thisbecause as a Niagram five oh is I
love sharedealhouse. Good morning, goodafternoon, and good evening. Stranger friends,
(30:26):
Welcome to Old Lady Jim Corner,where I Amanda Strong Feeled a fitness
question from aspiring athlete Melissabette. Pleasenote that all advice given in this podcast
is for entertainment purposes only. Pleasedo not engage in any kind of strenuous
physical activity without first consulting a physician. Thank you and enjoy I am now
(30:56):
I'm now thirty days into my fitnessjourney. Way for you. Yes,
I have arrived. The number onthe scale has not moved. I've been
told just don't look at the scale, worry about how your clothes feel.
Blah blah blah, you fucking fitnesspeople. Yeah, whatever, I need
to get to the fucking numbers.Okay, I want. I want the
(31:19):
number to go down. I want. But I also, you know,
do understand that muscle weighs more thanfat, etc. Blah blah blah.
It doesn't. Muscle doesn't weigh morethan fat. No, No, who
the fuck lied to me? No, because I don't know. I don't
know why. I don't know howthis myth got started and why it has
(31:41):
perpetuated for as long as it has. But I always tell people to think
about that little, you know,riddle or math problem that you had as
a kid, and it says,which weighs more one hundred pounds of feathers
or one hundred pounds of bricks?They weigh exactly the same because they're both
one hundred pounds the same thing formuscle, A pound of fat weighs the
(32:02):
same as a pound of muscle.They both weigh a pound. The difference
between muscle and fat is this fattakes up more real estate in your body
than muscle does. So if youwere to google, because there are beautiful
images people have, like you know, anatomic models, they have five pounds
of muscle and five pounds of fat, and side by side, it's very
(32:23):
clear to see that muscle takes upless real estate. So this idea that
I'm going to get bulky is nottrue because the muscle is actually going to
make you look tighter, for lackof a better word, it's going to
give you a shape, and it'sgoing to you might you know, you
(32:47):
might recomp so you might lose tenpounds of fat and gain ten pounds of
muscle. And if you're only gaugingyour progress by what's on the scale,
you're going to think, well,I haven't done anything, correct. But
if you were to look at aphotograph of yourself with the ten pounds of
fat versus losing the ten pounds offat and gaining the ten pounds of muscle,
your body is going to look visiblydifferent because you've recomped that body mass
(33:12):
for something that takes up less realestate, So you will essentially be smaller,
and you'll have a different shape becauseputting that lean mass on your body
is going to look different than havingjust that amorphous blob of fat in its
place. Does that make sense?It makes perfect sense. But I want
to say at that in the thirtydays, and I've been consistent. I
have been consistent. I have beengoing when I don't want to go.
(33:37):
That alarm clock goes off at fiveto twenty five and is like, motherfucker,
gets your ass to the six ofive pass and I get there and
I've got bells on and I'm happyto be there. However, yeah,
I have now found that if peoplethat have Apple watches, you probably know
about these zones orange and red.You want that orange and red ring on
(33:58):
your Apple Watch because that means thatyou are working, you know, the
hardest or whatever. So orange theory. The whole thing is to get at
least out of the sixty minute workouttwelve minutes in the orange or red zone.
Not so much read but they wantyou to be in the orange zone
because it does something about oxygen blahblah, whatever the fuck. I read
it and I went in one earand out the other. I was just
like, okay, just but myI understood. Then I need to be
(34:22):
in the orange zone and I needto get splat points. Splat points or
how many minutes you're in that orangeWhile you're working out at Orange Theory Fitness,
you will wear a heart rate monitor, and this heart rate monitor will
determine how you wrap up what's calledsplat points. In each class, the
goal is to earn at least twelvesplat points, and each splat point reflects
(34:45):
one minute spent working at eighty fourpercent of your estimated max heart rate or
higher. On the screen, yourheart rate levels are shown in three main
zones. The Orange zone is eightyto nine one of your maximum heart rate,
which is where things get uncomfortable ina good way. Twelve splat points
(35:07):
equals twelve minutes spent in the Orangeand Red zones combined. The idea behind
the twelve minute goal is to stimulateexcess post exercise oxygen consumption or EPOCH.
This is also known as the afterburneffect, since your body is still using
energy aka burden calories at a higherrate even after the workout is over.
(35:30):
As your body works to return toa resting state. It's kind of like
baking the cake. It still cooksfor a short time after you pull it
out of the oven. The bodyis the same. I have found that
(35:50):
the first couple of classes, whichwere very challenging for me, extremely hard,
so hard, sit in your car, definitely be like, why are
you doing this? This doesn't matter, no one cares, nobody is looking
at you. You were happy,just fine. I think you look good
with a little shove in your face, you know. Like I was having
all of these conversations with myself about, you know, just being happy with
(36:15):
what you have and not trying togo back. But then I remember it.
I paid the money already, Ibought the motherfucking things, so that
motivated me to keep going back.And I was like, make it thirty
days, which I did, whichis so I've reached a goal. Just
that alone, great, that's awesomeapplause for me. But the first couple
(36:37):
of classes, I was getting helllessflat points. Like one time I got
forty forty four minutes of the sixtyminute class. I was struggling and in
the orange and red zone heart rateat one hundred and six percent. Working
bitch you were going to die?Is everything okay? Like the lady actually
came over and was like, youknow, is everything's gonna be okay over
(36:58):
here? But now that I'm anathlete and my body is accustomed to this
level of performance, I'm only gettingseven and eight splat points a class and
I'm like, so then I wentup to the front desk dead ass,
and I just handed her my wristbandand I'm knocking on it. I was
(37:21):
like, is this thing on?I was like, I think maybe you
need to recalibrate. I don't knowwhat's going on. Maybe the WiFi was
bad. But my little watch isnot working because it's not yea, and
I'm like squeezing it tighter. I'mlike holding it to my wrist type I'm
like, this is not checking myheart rate because my heart is beating fast
in this bision. It is notcalculating. It is not right. So
(37:42):
I was like, can you recalibratemy wash? She started cat enough.
She's like, it does it itselfeverywhe to whatever in such days. I
was like, okay, well,this must be the day that it's on
the verge of Can you just pisha button and make it calibrate because them
splat points can't possibly be right.And she goes, no, no,
she's trying to explain your body's acclimatingthis and that. But you know me,
I heard Charlie Brown's teacher. Iwas like, you don't know nothing.
(38:04):
I'm gonna I was like, okay, okay, thank you, and
then I said almost, I haven'ta week I have a weekend appointment with
a man to the fitness lady,and I'm gonna let her explain this shit
to me because the watch is notworking. Okay. So first of all,
(38:27):
congratulations on not only setting a reallygreat short term goal that was short.
So thirty days that was long.That's a short term goal. That
is great. A lot of alot of people set goals that are either
unrealistic as they're starting out, orthey choose goals that are really hard to
(38:49):
um to quantify. So you saida really great short term goal. So
anybody listening to this setting okay,I would just want to get to this
many days is awesome. So clapsgolf claps for you. The second part
of this is your experiencing the consequencesof your actions, and the consequences being
that your endurance. Your physical fitnesshas improved, and so now you're going
(39:13):
to have to find ways that youcan continue to challenge yourself because your body
adapts. And so now what you'refinding is that what was previously really challenging
for you is now becoming more manageable, and you're going to have to work
differently. I don't want to sayharder, differently than what you normally do
to achieve the same benefits. That'sgreat, that's exactly what you want to
(39:37):
have happen because that shows that you'remaking progress. A lot of folks when
they start exercises you've expressed here,are only looking for that progress that happens
in that visual piece of your physiquechanging but increased cardiovascular health, increased cardiovascular
fitness, whatever you want to say, is a consequence of forcing yourself to
(40:04):
do cardiovascular exercise. Okay, soyou've achieved another goal that you didn't set
out to achieve. Maybe, butyou're just going to have to find different
ways. So your splot points,I'm guessing it's I don't remember how they're
calculating it, but I'm going tosay that they're looking at your heart rate
zone, which is a number that'sachieved by putting in your age times to
(40:30):
twenty divided by something, and that'sgoing to tell you where you should be
working for your fat burning zone.Your fat burning zone is that nice,
juicy place where the first place thatyou burn your calories from are your carb
stores, and once those carb storesare depleted, then your body's going to
tap into that fat and start usingthat for fuel. So we don't want
(40:52):
to work in our anaerobic zone wherewe're working, you know, past the
point of the muscles using that oxygenin creating that unsustainable like amount of physical
fitness. So like that would belike a sprint, you can only sprint
for so long. That would beworking in your anaerobic zone. So that's
probably the red zone is where they'remeasuring. The orange zone is going to
(41:14):
be below that and it's going tobe sustainable. You could sustain it for
thirty minutes for sixty minutes, andso that's measuring that heart rate and that
target zone which is going to beyour most sustainable, and then there's probably
a level below that, I wouldguess, which would be like your low
intensity. Is that right? Doyou have three zones? There's a bunch
(41:34):
there's gray. You ain't doing shit. There's there's blue. Okay, baby,
let's get it together. There's greengetting close. If you could just
put you know this, kick thisup a couple more notches, you'll be
in the orange and you know you'regonna, as the instructor would say,
light that screen up. I don'tlike it when everybody's orange and I ain't,
so i'd be trying to light mylittle screen. Um, okay,
(41:55):
so are you walking on the treadmill? Well, I think that I am
now a jogger because I was speedwalking and wasn't getting anywhere, and so
now and now I've just anytime wherethey're like, have your incline be at
a seven? I'll yeah, I'lladd, I'll say, fine, I'll
take your challenge. I'm gonna domy incline at an eight. How about
(42:19):
that? Yeah? And then Iheard that your speed at a point one
and it makes a difference. Solike, if I'm walking on an eight
incline and then my speed is four, kick it up to a little four
point one and see what happens atthat point. Though now I'm not fast
walking, I'm doing a little tinyjog because I'm like bitious, I can't
(42:42):
keep him, and the whole timemy motivation is don't fall forward and hit
these teeth. So I'm like,oh, I got a jog to keep
up on my treadmill. Yeah youknow what I mean. I mean all
of my shit is completely superficial andridiculous. I'll spend the whole sixty minutes
in the class, like, justmake sure these weights don't fall out of
(43:02):
your hand when you're reaching up highand now you hit your face. Just
make sure that the whole time.I'm worried about my teeth the entire time.
That's why when you were like,you should go tubing tubing tubing sounds
like getting your teeth fixed. Butyeah, I'm trying to find new ways
(43:23):
to get into that orange because I'mbasically I know you don't want to say
work harder. I have to workharder because my body is now used to
you know, the little amounts ofwork that I did, which only took
thirty days, which is good forme. But now what I do is
I flip flop it. So Iused to do my weights first and then
my cardio last. Now I domy cardio first. I hate it.
(43:45):
I don't want to do it.It puts me in a bad mood.
I don't want to be on there, but I want to get it over
with. And then when I moveover to the weights portion of the thing,
I'm fucking tired. Yeah, Andit makes me have to like really
push and want to be there toget this done at the same time.
And I hope that if you're listeningto this, my honesty serves you,
(44:14):
well, I hit the thirty daygoal and I'm like, that's enough of
that. Like I'm really about tohang it up. I know, oh
my god, stop, but I'mgoing to keep going. I'm gonna keep
going. And you know, I'mgoing to fight really hard to quiet the
(44:37):
voice in my head that's going whereare these results and nothing's happened yet,
because I think that I'm going toneed to get to three months ninety days
to really see something. So whatyou need to do now, because you
are now thirty days into creating thishabit for doing something that is not normally
(44:57):
a part of your week. It'snot normally part of your day, and
it's not something that you particularly craveor love at this point, So you're
going to say, Okay, I'mgoing to consistently stick with the fitness movement
part for the next thirty days,and now I'm going to start looking at
am I in a caloric deficit.That's the first thing. Okay. The
(45:20):
second part, am I hitting myprotein goals for the day. The third
part of it is I'm going totake a photo of my body. Listen,
Nope. The scale is a toolto measure something. In this case,
it's the gravitational force of your bodybeing held on the planet Earth.
(45:44):
So that includes lean mass, thatincludes non lean mass, that includes stomach
contents that if you haven't taken aship in twenty four hours, there's poop
in there, there's water that yourmuscles are holding onto. It's a tool,
but it's a terrible tool for checkingprogress. So you either have to
take measurements or you have to takea photo so that you can see visually
(46:06):
that there's a difference happening. Becausethe scale is just beyond being a bad
way of measuring, you know,physical progress. It's also like there's so
many emotional things tied up in it. And we've talked about this before,
like your quote unquote ideal weight inyour brain. There are a lot of
things that get in the way whenwe use just the scale to measure progress.
(46:28):
It's a tool, but if youcan't get on it without mind fucking
yourself, then it's not worth it. Threaten to me, Listen to me,
though, you are asking a personwho has literal trauma from photographs,
moving photographs, photographs existing in general. You know, like, I just
got here with my face, Okay, I only recently just started taking photos
(46:51):
of my actual face, and eventhen, I'm like, what happened there?
Eyebrows? Cut those off? Youknow, So by the time I'm
done looking at my face, I'vecovered up all the parts. All I
have is a picture of my smile. So like, we got to slow
down, We got to slow down, a full body picture of me existing
in my phone so that I cancompare side by side to No. No,
(47:15):
man, we are not. Ican't have that. I can't look
at that. No. I understandthat it's uncomfortable. And I'm not saying
that you even have to look atthem. You could take those pictures,
take them off, put them ina folder on your computer, and just
leave them there and then take anotherone in a month. I'm only saying
this because a lot of people areso surprised. They feel the exact same
(47:38):
way that you do, and theyare shocked at the physical difference that has
happened from the top of the monthto the bottom if they're staying consistent with
their nutrition and with their exercise.I mean, every single time, every
single time, every single time,it is shocking. I mean, I'll
(47:58):
think about it, but I'm tellingyou right now, I have a full
length mirror in my bathroom, soevery time I take my clothes off,
I do see it and I'm like, oh new, and it doesn't look
different. My clothes feel a smidgedifferent. I will say that my clothes
feel a tiny bit different. Andalso my big ass underwear, the ones
(48:19):
that I got I had to stepup. Yeah, my big ass underwear
now feel like big ass underwear againbecause if they started to feel real regular
and I was like this, ain'tthis? So like now I'm having to
sort my big gass underwear from myregulars, you know. Yeah, which,
ye, that too was a goal. But I don't know if I
(48:43):
could commit to a naked ass picture, that's that's crazy. I'll try,
though. You don't have to benaked, just you could put on just
you know, sports braw and shorts. If that feels more comfortable. It's
going to be a little bit harderto see the changes that happen through your
glutes, through your hips, throughyour quads. But I will say that
(49:05):
it is incredibly helpful and you cancompletely ditch the scalt Now you could just
get a tape measure and take yourmeasurements. But I think a picture is
I also have a weird relationship withnumbers, so the calculation of numbers in
general, like clocks with hands,maps, distances, it's all math to
(49:35):
me. So that's crazy. I'llthink about it. You know what I
will do though, when I getthere, when I can see it in
my mind, with the way thatI want my body to look, I'll
start taking pictures of that at nauseum. You aren't, You're gonna be sick.
I'm gonna start texting you photos likeI'm sorry. I have you seen
my one ab? She looks socute. Note the sparkle that I put
(49:55):
on her. I I do,But my boobs are sitting different. My
bootydoo is a little different, butit all still doesn't look right. I
wait, do y'all know what abootydoo is? A bootydo. Yeah,
(50:15):
do you know what a bootydoo is? No? You never heard of a
bootydo? No? Were your stomachstick out further than your booty do?
So I'm saying my bootydoo is getting, you know, smaller, but it's
(50:36):
still there. Oh my god,Oh my god. But anyway, that's
good. I feel good and andyou know, I just want for those
of you listening and you think thatold lady Jim Corner is going to be
you know, inspiring or a bliftingor whatever, it's really not the purpose
(50:58):
of it is for me to beable to complain openly about a fitness journey,
because you know, the whole pointof it is being positive and you
know, making small games whatever,and like people don't like to hear motherfucker's
complaining about fitness and eating right andthis and that. But I also feel
like there is an important piece ofhaving the safe space to do that because
(51:22):
I can't keep the negative talk inmy brain. I have to let it
come out so that I can letit go, you know what I mean.
I don't want to be on thejam like, oh fuck the shit,
fuck the shit, fuck the shit. I've stopped doing that I'm like,
oh, yeah, you're ting agirl. I'm doing positive self talk
in my head. But then whenI get home and there are no results,
I do need a place to putthat energy. This is what is
so hard about having a human bodyand the messages that we get from society
(51:50):
and culturally about what it is weshould and shouldn't look like. And you
know, I fall victim to ittoo. I think it's I think it
would be disingenuous to say that there'sanybody that is just completely immune to it.
We all have things that we pickout. I was in a public
restroom at a restaurant yesterday and Iheard this girl. In the thirty seconds
(52:10):
that it took me to finish peeing, pull my pants up and wash my
hands, I heard this girl bitchabout her waist, about the shape where
that she was going to have towear that night, about how it was
going to roll down. And thenas I'm washing my hands, hear her
say shit about her butt. AndI turned around and looked at her and
I said, listen, this isthe only body you got, and that's
the only one you're gonna get,and you can be in your head all
(52:31):
day and talk shit like this andfeel miserable, or you can choose to
stop this because there's nothing wrong withyour body. And she just looked at
me and I was like, I'msorry. I walked out. I was
like I couldn't believe. And Quinnwas in there with me, and I
was like, oh my god,my kid is listening to this woman talk
shit about her body constantly and herfriends aren't saying anything to her. And
(52:51):
I've been there, and I,you know, sometimes fall into that hole
and have to pull myself out andit just takes regular practice. But you
have to recognize that you weren't achievingthe results that you wanted not doing it,
so clearly what you were doing beforewasn't working. You're actually seeing gains
(53:15):
happen in real time. You're doingsomething good for your body, or else
you wouldn't be seeing those cardiovascular gains. So it's not all for not,
but it doesn't all have to betied into how you look, which I
know is hard, so hard,so hard, and it also is like
it's a mind fuck too, becauseI also really like myself, you know,
(53:38):
like, yeah, if it wereup to me, good, if
it were up to me, Iwouldn't have the weird little voice that's has
these feelings about my you know,elderly approaching body. If it were up
to me, that part would nolonger exist. But everything is, you
know, it's baby steps. Igotta get to where I love this,
(54:00):
But you know, I also don'twant to feel bad about a very normal
part of a woman's life, whichis unfortunately to have disparaging talk about your
body. And then you know,and some of it is also rooted in
(54:21):
um then not knowing when you hadit. You see what I'm saying.
Yeah, Like I can't. I'llthink back and I'll be like, wow,
I thought I was gross in thispicture. Meanwhile, the picture is
a literal picture of stunning beauty andhealth. And I'm like, oh my
(54:42):
gosh, this this voice has beena disaster for a very long time.
And I'm going to have to activelyphysically work to shut her the fuck up.
Yea, And I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna I'm gonna make it
a gold to get there. AndI think the voice never ever goes away.
(55:04):
It just gets easier to ignore orquieter. Yes, there's always going
to be something, and it's juston how you choose to manage it,
and you know, and I thinktoo, like I find my perception of
my body or how I look toget really loud the week before my period,
(55:25):
Like I was having really bad bodyfeelings yesterday and I had to stop
myself and then like do that mathof like when is my period starting?
Because without fail, I am somean to myself that whole week before,
and I think it's all out ofits hormonal. But I think that that's
also really interesting to look at too, and like where did you where did
(55:47):
you pick up these feelings? Okay, now, how can I be more
gentle to myself and nicer? Andso when those feelings creep in of you
know, whatever it is that you'rehating on that week? Okay, well
what can I find that I like, Well, if it's your teeth right
now, then it's your teeth andyou can give yourself all those lovely compliments
about your teeth. Oh, Imove on from it. It's about my
(56:09):
teeth. I'll talk about my teeth. I mean randomly in the middle of
the day, I'll be like,justin no, seriously, honestly, look
at me, look at your wife, look deep into my mouth, look
at it is it not. Isthis not the smile that you'd imagine that
I would have, Like when yousaid, in your mind, I want
(56:31):
to marry a girl who smile lightsin the room. I mean, my
smile lights up a fucking room.Have you seen it? I mean,
doctor A did that shit my fuckingteeth? I mean really gorgeous and that
I didn't see. I was justabout to do it. I was just
(56:52):
about to go. And that Ispent fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,
nineteen, twenty years chasing the smile. I didn't have it, Like
I'm mad about that time lost.But that's okay. That's okay because I'm
gonna be on the tail end ofmy life. Yep, cheese and like
(57:13):
a motherfucker Hello out there in theImperfect Strangers podcast universe. Thank you for
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(57:34):
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(57:55):
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(58:15):
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(58:37):
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We will see you next Friday witha brand new episode. Bye.
I had something specifically that it cameon here and wanted to talk about,
and then I got on here andthen I can't remember. Oh I've been
racking my brain for an hour.Oh shit. I was like, what
was it? Something that you readin the news. Well, the thing
(00:22):
that I'm reading in the news,I don't. We can't discuss because then
it's going to send you on afucking tailspin. It's um I was.
(00:54):
I tried to stay out of it. I tried. I tried to you
know, smooth brain my way throughthis, and I can't because this is
like what do I want to say. I can't do apocalypse films. I
can't do especially ones where it's likeas a result of climate change or like
(01:18):
things that we're doing to destroy theearth. So this train crash and quote
unquote controlled burn and the fallout thatwe're experiencing and it's far reaching from what
I understand, is just like thatis my worst nightmare. I had a
(01:41):
stress dream about it last night.I had a dream that I caused a
giant explosion off of this beach becausewe were just doing something innocent. We
were building this like large rainbow towerthat looked like a lighthouse. Don't ask,
I don't know, but we builtit and then I was like,
Okay, I think we have totake this apart now. And so we
started taking it apart, and partof it fell over and like hit these
(02:05):
big they almost looked like pro paintanks but kind of like almost like a
mix between a pro pain tank anda smoker, like a you know,
a meat smoker, and it shotoff all of these like sparks into the
dark, and I was like,oh fuck. So we like took off
running and I was like I knewI was responsible for this like giant natural
(02:25):
disaster. I guess it's not anatural disaster, so a man made disaster
because I did it. And wherewhere I'm like packing up the stuff in
my house because I have to leavebecause now apparently I'm like a seasonal worker
in this place, and so likemy family gets to leave, but I'm
like talking to my neighbor who's likestuck living there because this is where she
(02:46):
lives full time. It was whoI had a skunk as a pet.
I like opened my front door andthere was like a cute little skunk sitting
on top of my mailbox, andI was like, I guess this is
my pet now. It was sostrange. Scariest part of your dream was
the part where you said you weretalking to your neighbor. What in the
world is going on? I don'tknow, I don't know. It was
(03:08):
wild and I was like, I'mgoing to go to jail for this for
the rest of my life. I'vejust wasted my entire life because I caused
this disaster, when in reality,the people that caused the disaster I will
suffer no consequences. They really won't. And I got into a wormhole of
all the stuff going on in Ohioand I was like, um, what
(03:30):
do you mean they didn't tell youfor three days that you should leave?
Yes, and so people just Iwatched this woman who owns a farm,
and I think she said she's likemaybe nine miles somewhere between like five and
nine miles from the crash, butthe city only told these folks within the
(03:53):
one mile radius that they were indanger. And she was like, so
after three days, she went upand talked to some cops that were waiting
on a road near her house.I think they were creating a roadblock or
something, and she was like,you know, be honest, with me,
would you leave And they were like, yes, absolutely, I would
leave. And they were like,I don't even want to be here right
now, and we're instructed to evacuateat this specific time, so gather up
(04:17):
what you can and get out anddon't come back until it's truly safe.
So she like gathered up farm animalslike Noah's Ark, putting them all into
this horse trailer, trying to getthem out. And then she said when
they came back a few days later, and this was, you know,
three days after it happened, shehad sick animals, she had dead animals,
(04:40):
just and that's from the air andthe water. Yes, I mean
people were reporting pets dying. I'veseen people who work in the area but
don't live there coming home, likeone girl had these like bloodshot eyes.
Now obviously like you can't like there. I mean, there was a picture
yesterday of the Ohio River like downby Covington, and Covington is northern Kentucky,
(05:03):
so it's literally right over the riverfrom Cincinnati, and somebody was like,
oh, I've you know, I'venever seen the Ohio River shiny before.
That river's trash. Anyways, it'sbeen polluted since I was little,
not to make light of the subject. I do know that plume of chemicals
is coming down here because they've shutoff our intake from the Ohio River.
(05:24):
But there's some stuff that I thinkpeople are just trying to Like I've seen
people saying their coffee creamer is likesizzling in their coffee. Like things that
are just like definitely like not asa result of this. So you really
have to be careful where you're consumingyour media from. Yeah, but it's
the stories that I feel are credible, are terrifying, and you know,
(05:46):
you feel sad for these people.This woman was like, I have to
I have to accept the fact thatI may be battling cancer in my thirties
as a result of this. AndI'm like, oh god, girl,
it is some Aaron Brockovitz shit goingon, right, And where do you
go? You can't can your house, nobody's going to buy your house.
(06:06):
Nope, you would have to uprootyour entire life. And this is you
know, these aren't like, thesearen't like big metropolitan areas. This is
a small town Ohio. This isyou know, blue collar for the most
part, So that's not like andif you can't sell the house. You
also can't sell the land. Yeah, no one wants to be in that
(06:29):
area. It'll just be the desertedChernobyl place. Yeah. And how far
is it from you? It's aboutfour hours east of us. Stay over
there. Yeah, okay, right, But like you know, my dad
and I were talking, we haveelevated train tracks down town Cincinnati that are
like right along the river, andthose ships don't look like they have been
(06:53):
maintained for ages. And so thenyou start to think about, oh my
god, what about the trains thatcome through here and cross over the river
or are like right next to youknow, major business buildings. Listen,
people like all the people that liveand work down there. It could happen
anywhere to anybody in any town becausethe train this is the the vortex I
(07:16):
got into this morning. The trainsare carrying chemicals in amounts that are insane
and so, and they're not regulatedeither the amounts you're allowed to carry or
whatever they say they are. Butyou know, to cut corners, people
(07:38):
are doing what they do. Yeah, so it could be anyone anywhere where
there is a train carrying chemicals.There is an erin Brockovich near you.
So this is and the crazy partis that I had to seek this information
out. So it's like they're purposefullynot making it front and center information,
(08:00):
which is scary. Would you sayit's being obfuscated? No, because I
would use obfuscate as a verb.But yeah, I'm so horrible. I
was trying to I was trying toput back that vocabulary podcast. I do
(08:22):
love vocabulary words. But speaking ofwhere would you go? I guess you
would move your whole family into anRV and travel the world. That's the
other vortex because I got stuck inthis morning, and wow, I'm judgmental,
So oh, you don't think thatit's a good idea to put your
family in an RV and homeschool themand drive them around the country. Bro,
(08:45):
I watched maybe six or seven videosof this one family of traveling people,
and it's like, out of theseven videos that I watched, I
peeped at their fourteen year old literallywas living in an existential hell. All
of the videos are the children goinginto coals or Walmart, clearly as you
(09:09):
know, choosing items that they canbuy with their debit card, and how
they earn money and how they earnmoney is helping mom and dad maintain this
fucking nomadic life that fucking sucks becomingthe children? Do they have three?
Okay? And it was you know, mall parking lot showers, and it
(09:30):
was one of the videos was theteenager had been asking for a long time
for a plant that they'd like totake care of on the RV and after
days it said days of research,the teenager chose an orchid. And I
was like, I'm okay, homeschoolis not working so good. Never who
(09:54):
chooses an orchid willingly? No?No, no, who chooses just spork
after days of research? Is thechild reading what must be two researchers.
So then they showed that the orchad died after three days. So because
(10:18):
the kids spent their own money,the mom gave the money back and so
they're gonna choose a different plant totake care of. Meanwhile, the family
of five also has three rats thatthey take care of in the RV.
So you mean to tell me youpurposefully have a traveling home that would eliminate
(10:43):
the possibility of getting mice, butyou put rats in the motherfucker on purpose?
Okay. So after about seven videos, I was like, let me
block this family. I can't eatthis. I was getting the child.
The child chose a fiddly fig.Dude, I'm gonna send you the link
(11:05):
and you're just gonna you're gonna andyou're gonna pick at random the videos to
watch. And when you see thechild in the background that I'm talking about,
you're gonna be like, oh mygod, the kid just wants to
go home. Oh. For thefifteenth birthday, all the kid wanted was
a hotel room. Um, momread the fucking room. Oh, hotel
(11:28):
room specifically read that one. Oh. I think I used to follow this
couple. Their Instagram I think wascalled one hundred and sixty six square feet,
and he was a computer programmer,maybe like an app developer, and
she had some kind of like parttime job remote but then she also had
(11:50):
like an Etsy shop where she soldjewelry, and they both liked interior design,
and so the bulk of their contentwas like following them around the US
and this little tiny camper trailer whateveryou wanna call RV. And then they
upgraded, and so then the contentkind of turned into like them like customizing
(12:11):
the space, which I think isinteresting and I think that that kind of
lifestyle would be fun. I knowyou say never period, but like,
as a young person with no children, if you had that option, I
think that would be fun to dofor a couple of years. But I
can't imagine raising a family, especiallywith a teenager. A teenager, listen,
(12:33):
how long have they been at it? A year and a half?
Oh? No, So the kidwas like, oh, shoot, taken
out of middle school, which isalready a time rife with problems. Like
the kid literally wants a floor thatdoesn't move and to be left the fuck
alone. Yeah, honestly, that'sso sad. Also, like just the
(13:01):
the logistics, right, you're gonnahear your mom fucking you know what I'm
saying. I mean, can youimagine? No, but can you imagine?
And I'm sure they're like we findother ways, but like where you're
in an RV, like in arestop bathroom? Where where where I don't
(13:26):
want to hear the mice? Andthat's like my I mean, mice require
a sizeable cage. So like howbig is this RV? Oh a sizable
cage? You say? They basicallymade an area for just the mice,
and it's like pantry sized for justthe mice, and then on travel days
(13:50):
they have pouches that they wear aroundtheir necks with the mice in them.
And then when the car lands theRV lands day, put all the cage
back together and put the mice backin their cages. Girl, Oh,
that just seems like an added layerof stress that you would not want or
(14:15):
need in an RV life. Youknow what, Give me a set of
parents that don't come to my playand drink excessively on the weekends any day
of the goddamn week as long asthe house stays motherfucking still. Because oh
(14:35):
no, I'm a terrible person.I know this, and I'm so sorry.
And you know what I'm gonna say. I just felt so bad for
the teenager because I'm planning a roadtrip and I've already like been thinking hard
and long about you know how Ican make it more palatable for shalom the
teenager take You're taking a road trip? Yep, I am okay, kid,
(15:01):
I mean at Liberty to explain itlands it lands somewhere. Well,
I want to go see Danny andI've never been to Vermont. Uh huh,
So we're taking a little road tripto Vermont what's hilarious is I booked
a little hotel, I said,because I don't know, you know,
like I'm not like you organized withfamily shit whatever. Like we said we
were taking a road trip and Iwas like, oh, we better get
(15:22):
to the beauty supply store like best, you know, because I'm thinking of
things we can do in the car. I want to try this lip bomb.
I want to try this I bringI'm Justin's like no, Just's like,
big, we need to go toCostco. Dumbass. I was like,
oh, yeah that. So whenI said I'm gonna come and visit,
would that be cool, you know, because then we can get the
(15:43):
girls together. Because he has adaughter the same age as Shira, I
can see the cabin, you know, And I made it clear to him.
I was like, look, Iwant to look at the nature,
but I don't want to like trekto get down. It's like I want
to drive to look at it,and then I want to sit back at
the cabin with you know what I'msaying, I want to order and yelled
at that, and I was like, don't have me trying to be skiing
and tobogganing and all that shit forus I'm not coming. He's like,
(16:06):
no, no, no, it'sfine. We're gonna make it work,
you know. And I was like, and I'm gonna have a fresh blowout,
so i don't want to sit soclose to the fire. Um,
he's already sick of me, alreadysick on me. I was like,
you know what I mean, Iwant to like y'all got WiFi, Like,
what are we really talking about it? I want to see you and
I love you, but it's gotterms. So the first the first hotel,
(16:33):
I show, how far of adrive is Vermont from you? Um,
it's like four to six hours depending. Oh my god, that's not
even anything that's a road trip.Okay, that's like that is that's a
quick trip up to Chicago for theweekends, especially now that I'm an athlete
(16:56):
and I have my little Nalgene bottleof thirty two anounces that I'm drinking out
goddamn day. That is a longtrip. So um, okay six hours
in the car, God damn it. Anyway, So and I'm not like
you you know what I mean,Like, I don't first thing I did
was hotels in Vermont, you knowwhat I'm saying. And I'm not bougie.
(17:22):
And also I have to take intoaccount my thirteen year old is not
trying to stay in the same roomas me. Will she have to stay
in the same room as her sisters? Yes she will. Will the rooms
need to be next door? Yes? Do I prefer it to be at
Jackie Jelle. I do. Butyou know, the more you put these
restrictions on, the harder is goingto be defined a room. And at
this point, after I've searched andsearched and searched, the only things that
are coming up. Like it was, it was a little Amanda on my
(17:45):
shoulder, going, You're just gonnahave to get an Airbnb. I'm telling
you, You're just gonna have toget an Airbnb. And I was like,
and I will not do an Airbnb. And I will not do an
Airbnb. So I'm looking, looking, looking, and I find a fucking
regular you know, I just wanta regular hotel. Can it have you
know, some good ratings? Whatever? I send Danny the information of the
(18:07):
hotel that I'll be staying at.At which point in the middle of the
night, I get a text fromDanny's boyfriend, who is a farmer.
So it's Green Bubbles you know whatit is. He is not, you
know, like this man milks cows. He don't know nothing about what Melissa
Beck is talking about. But hewas just like, Hey, very excited
for you to come down. Listen, I'm gonna send you a couple of
(18:32):
links for some airbnbs that would bemore appropriate for the trip that you guys
are planning, because the hotel thatyou picked is the one that people go
to when they're visiting family in theprison. I was like, oh,
nowhere in the reviews did it saythat, which listen, I'm not mad
(18:56):
at that. And then I keptreading and it was like and also it's
you know where the trucker's rest.I was like, okay, okay,
but you know me, I'm country. You can't take the Valrico out of
me. I'm not scared of afamily meeting, you know, visiting someone
in prison, because that's that's whoI am too. You know what,
I think we got some people lockdown. It's okay. Sometimes you gotta go
(19:17):
see the motherfuckers, and sometimes yougot to stay at the holiday and express
on the side of the road todo that, and that's okay. I's
like, that's okay. So Itold Justin. I was like, listen,
we're really not gonna be there.It's just gonna be where we're gonna
sleep. And he's like, juststashed my phone. Was like, just
move, I'll do it. Sonow Justin's looking at airbnb's, airbnb's airbnb's
and we're sending them to Danny alongthe way, like what about this one?
(19:41):
What about this one? He's like, well, that's three hours away.
Well that's two hours away. That'sthis, and that's that, and
you know what, I will havealready been in the car hell of hours.
So I'm not going hella more hoursto visit my friend, you know,
I want to be up the street. Yeah. And it's looking more
and more like it's going to bean Airbnb till finally I find a cute
little hotel in a little skiing townwhatever. But you can't you can't um
(20:04):
book it online. You know,it's powered by Wicks or whatever. You
know what this is. It's apod on little Yeah. And I'm looking
at the room. Yeah, I'mlooking at the rooms and you know,
it's quilty. It's fine. SoI call over there and I make friends
with the lady who runs the place. She's lovely, and she was like
(20:27):
okay, and then she was like, okay, so are you guys gonna
be skiing? So she's going throughall the things and she went through the
whole thing, and I was like, ma'am, I really just need the
rooms to be clean and side byside. I'm just going to visit a
friend. You know, he livesthat old country life. And I was
like, but I'm a city galejust coming into visit. She started dying
(20:47):
that because she's like, so youwon't be skiing. And then she's like,
and you won't need this. She'slike, well, the children like
the fireworks. I was like,yeah, so we're going through the things
that I would like to do.Yeah, And I'm basically going to the
little shop around the corner. You'regonna eat some pancakes one of these days
with some nice little Vermont syrup,and that's gonna be it. I'm gonna
have me a nice old time.I went to the beauty supply store,
(21:11):
which is what I think we needbecause I you know, I'm gonna be
in charge of now four girls.So we've got face masks, we've got
all kind of checked in, madesure if his daughter had sensitive skin,
so I got some sensitive skin stufffor her. We've got whole entire kits
for makeup. I've got featherbellets,I've got sunny sunglasses. We're gonna have
a good old time. We're gonnajournal, we're gonna do some hot chocolate
self care stuff, and that's youknow what it's going to be. It's
(21:37):
not by the dispensary. So meand you know, after we put these
kids down, me and Danny coulddo a little thank dazzle and it'll be
cute. That said, the wholetime, I have been concerned about whether
or not, you know, Shalomis going to be able to have a
nice time. Yeah. So,and you know her BF is a dude.
(22:00):
So I asked Jess. I waslike, would it be inappropriate for
us to invite him? And Iwas like, but then we just have
to get another room h And Chillanwas like, actually it's cool, mom,
you don't have to bend that muchover backwards. I don't want him
to come anyway because then he's withyou guys. I was like, oh
(22:22):
yeah, and she was like,I dare you. I'm like, I
think we're really nice people and She'slike, I, I you are,
but no. I was like,okay, so that'll be us, wish
me luck. I'm so excited foryou. So okay, I know that
(22:44):
you're going to do like those thingsthat you just told me, but like,
are you going to do some VERMONTIthings? Listen. I sat my
kids down and I was like,we are going to go visit my friend,
mister Danny. We're gonna have agreat time because we're meet his job
water. They're like, what's thereto do in Vermont? And I was
just like, you know, thinkabout white people and the stuff they like.
(23:12):
I was like, you know,we'll see a waterfall or two.
I'm sure there's that. I'm surewe'll go to a creek or something.
And I was like, you know, I'm sure we can go look at
handmade quilts. We can go pickout a syrup or two. I'm sure
there's gonna be great beef jerky thaty'all are allowed to eat because you don't
eat red meat. I was like, we'll find things. Are you close
to the ben and Jerry's I guessDanny says he wants to go tubing,
(23:37):
which that sounds like something where youcould break a two, you can have
a medical emergency. So I waslike, oh, no, you should
totally go tubing. It's so muchfun. What is it. It's like
sledding and it's but it's at aski resort, so it's all like,
you know, pack down snow andyou just take the little lift to the
top of the bunny hill and slidedown. Your girls would have so much
fun. You should drift, Okay, So when you're tubing, there's like,
(24:03):
um, I think the one becausewe have one at Perfect North.
My kids have a field trip therein middle school in the in the winter.
So you just like stand on thelittle conveyor belt and you grab onto
the rope and then it just likepulls you to the top of the bunny
hill and then you get off.It's like, um, it's like a
moving sidewalk at the airport. Nysaid that. I said, justin and
(24:26):
you will have a lovely time showingthe girls that you know you should do
it. And then you can gosit. There's like a probably a little
lodge you can sit in and getyour little hot chocolate. Oh that's what
I will be doing. That's whatI will be doing anywhere they're sitting and
hot chocolate. That's what I willbe doing. But the activity looking listen,
(24:49):
I've looked at I found it.I found it. I found an
an art exhibit, like a modernArt of Vermont. Whatever that we'll go
check. Okay, um, Ifound uh whatever, you know, wind
chimes and bullshit like that. We'regonna look at that. There's a spider
web farm in Vermont. Well,that's crazy. Let's relax. I wonder
(25:12):
what they do. You know whatwe're gonna be doing. We're gonna be
ordering food and talking. That's whatwe're gonna be doing. It's gonna be
pretty on the outside, but I'mreally going to be on the inside looking
at it. And that's okay.And then, you know, a couple
of the times, I'm gonna letDanny take the reins and show us,
you know, his little country life. Yeah, but I said, most
(25:34):
of that gotta be you know,we get to the destination, we enjoy
the thing, we get back home. You's know what I'm saying. I
don't want to be outside exema allthis, and I'm gonna be open minded.
It's gonna be really nice. It'sgonna be really fun. And then
the next time Danny comes and visitsme, because you know, we're gonna
(25:56):
start taking turns because we're not farfrom each other. It's like si,
we you know, don't see eachother. And also my kids never see
hopefully. He said it hasn't beenvery much snow and I was like,
oh, yes, and he's likethat's bad. I was like, oh,
so, you know, I justdon't want to be so cold,
but I want my kids to havea nice you know, country bumpkin time,
(26:19):
meet a friend or two. Youknow, Yeah, it'll be it'll
be fine. Danny's excited. Ithink you're gonna have a good time.
Danny's excited. He's like, youare going to be so out of your
element because it's you. And Iwas like, okay, I bet you'll
(26:41):
have really delicious like you know,like you're gonna find like a good breakfast
place and you can have like biscuitsand gravy and some pancakes like you said
with Vermont Syrup. Oh I'm sojealous. I've never been to Vermont before
neither, I've never I've never beenthere. I'm like, what goes on
(27:02):
and Vermont apparently Danny knows, somhmm. We'll see. I got so
much stuff. I got handwarmers,I got toewarmers, I got I got
a new scrub because, um,you know, I would be exfoliating on
(27:23):
vacation. It'd be cute. It'llbe cute. And I have like a
couple of cute new they're designer,but they're still prairie. I got a
cute I got a couple of cutein a little prairie dresses that I'll wear
with layers underneath. I have,you know, for I have for coats.
(27:45):
I have heels for when we're inthe cabin. You know, heels
in the cabin. Fashion doesn't stopjust because I'm in a fucking rural place.
You need like you need like thecozy cotton socks, like the moraled
cotton socks. Oh, I haveall those crash put them on with the
heels in the cabin. Well.I still can't remember what it was I
(28:45):
was going to talk to you about, but I did think. I did
think this morning that now, sinceI'm an athlete and you are an expert
athleticism, we should have a cutelittle old lady Jim Corner. H huh.
(29:07):
For as long as I'm an athlete. We could do a two minute
little segment and they can have hisown little musical interlude thing, you know
whatever. You can even play thatunderneath. I'm sure that's fair. Use
what is that Monday night football somethingon Old Lady Jim Corner. Ogie on
(29:34):
Old Lady Jim. I can askyou my pressing athletic questions, and you,
who you know does have expertise andexperience in this field, can answer
my questions, and then you know, that'll be it for that segment.
(29:55):
I think that's that it's important,especially because our listeners are of a certain
age where they too are feeling like, huh, I'm gonna have to get
this fitness thing in order so thatI can live a longer life. And
I love that you're asking me thisbecause as a Niagram five oh is I
love sharedealhouse. Good morning, goodafternoon, and good evening. Stranger friends,
(30:26):
Welcome to Old Lady Jim Corner,where I Amanda Strong Feeled a fitness
question from aspiring athlete Melissabette. Pleasenote that all advice given in this podcast
is for entertainment purposes only. Pleasedo not engage in any kind of strenuous
physical activity without first consulting a physician. Thank you and enjoy I am now
(30:56):
I'm now thirty days into my fitnessjourney. Way for you. Yes,
I have arrived. The number onthe scale has not moved. I've been
told just don't look at the scale, worry about how your clothes feel.
Blah blah blah, you fucking fitnesspeople. Yeah, whatever, I need
to get to the fucking numbers.Okay, I want. I want the
(31:19):
number to go down. I want. But I also, you know,
do understand that muscle weighs more thanfat, etc. Blah blah blah.
It doesn't. Muscle doesn't weigh morethan fat. No, No, who
the fuck lied to me? No, because I don't know. I don't
know why. I don't know howthis myth got started and why it has
(31:41):
perpetuated for as long as it has. But I always tell people to think
about that little, you know,riddle or math problem that you had as
a kid, and it says,which weighs more one hundred pounds of feathers
or one hundred pounds of bricks?They weigh exactly the same because they're both
one hundred pounds the same thing formuscle, A pound of fat weighs the
(32:02):
same as a pound of muscle.They both weigh a pound. The difference
between muscle and fat is this fattakes up more real estate in your body
than muscle does. So if youwere to google, because there are beautiful
images people have, like you know, anatomic models, they have five pounds
of muscle and five pounds of fat, and side by side, it's very
(32:23):
clear to see that muscle takes upless real estate. So this idea that
I'm going to get bulky is nottrue because the muscle is actually going to
make you look tighter, for lackof a better word, it's going to
give you a shape, and it'sgoing to you might you know, you
(32:47):
might recomp so you might lose tenpounds of fat and gain ten pounds of
muscle. And if you're only gaugingyour progress by what's on the scale,
you're going to think, well,I haven't done anything, correct. But
if you were to look at aphotograph of yourself with the ten pounds of
fat versus losing the ten pounds offat and gaining the ten pounds of muscle,
your body is going to look visiblydifferent because you've recomped that body mass
(33:12):
for something that takes up less realestate, So you will essentially be smaller,
and you'll have a different shape becauseputting that lean mass on your body
is going to look different than havingjust that amorphous blob of fat in its
place. Does that make sense?It makes perfect sense. But I want
to say at that in the thirtydays, and I've been consistent. I
have been consistent. I have beengoing when I don't want to go.
(33:37):
That alarm clock goes off at fiveto twenty five and is like, motherfucker,
gets your ass to the six ofive pass and I get there and
I've got bells on and I'm happyto be there. However, yeah,
I have now found that if peoplethat have Apple watches, you probably know
about these zones orange and red.You want that orange and red ring on
(33:58):
your Apple Watch because that means thatyou are working, you know, the
hardest or whatever. So orange theory. The whole thing is to get at
least out of the sixty minute workouttwelve minutes in the orange or red zone.
Not so much read but they wantyou to be in the orange zone
because it does something about oxygen blahblah, whatever the fuck. I read
it and I went in one earand out the other. I was just
like, okay, just but myI understood. Then I need to be
(34:22):
in the orange zone and I needto get splat points. Splat points or
how many minutes you're in that orangeWhile you're working out at Orange Theory Fitness,
you will wear a heart rate monitor, and this heart rate monitor will
determine how you wrap up what's calledsplat points. In each class, the
goal is to earn at least twelvesplat points, and each splat point reflects
(34:45):
one minute spent working at eighty fourpercent of your estimated max heart rate or
higher. On the screen, yourheart rate levels are shown in three main
zones. The Orange zone is eightyto nine one of your maximum heart rate,
which is where things get uncomfortable ina good way. Twelve splat points
(35:07):
equals twelve minutes spent in the Orangeand Red zones combined. The idea behind
the twelve minute goal is to stimulateexcess post exercise oxygen consumption or EPOCH.
This is also known as the afterburneffect, since your body is still using
energy aka burden calories at a higherrate even after the workout is over.
(35:30):
As your body works to return toa resting state. It's kind of like
baking the cake. It still cooksfor a short time after you pull it
out of the oven. The bodyis the same. I have found that
(35:50):
the first couple of classes, whichwere very challenging for me, extremely hard,
so hard, sit in your car, definitely be like, why are
you doing this? This doesn't matter, no one cares, nobody is looking
at you. You were happy,just fine. I think you look good
with a little shove in your face, you know. Like I was having
all of these conversations with myself about, you know, just being happy with
(36:15):
what you have and not trying togo back. But then I remember it.
I paid the money already, Ibought the motherfucking things, so that
motivated me to keep going back.And I was like, make it thirty
days, which I did, whichis so I've reached a goal. Just
that alone, great, that's awesomeapplause for me. But the first couple
(36:37):
of classes, I was getting helllessflat points. Like one time I got
forty forty four minutes of the sixtyminute class. I was struggling and in
the orange and red zone heart rateat one hundred and six percent. Working
bitch you were going to die?Is everything okay? Like the lady actually
came over and was like, youknow, is everything's gonna be okay over
(36:58):
here? But now that I'm anathlete and my body is accustomed to this
level of performance, I'm only gettingseven and eight splat points a class and
I'm like, so then I wentup to the front desk dead ass,
and I just handed her my wristbandand I'm knocking on it. I was
(37:21):
like, is this thing on?I was like, I think maybe you
need to recalibrate. I don't knowwhat's going on. Maybe the WiFi was
bad. But my little watch isnot working because it's not yea, and
I'm like squeezing it tighter. I'mlike holding it to my wrist type I'm
like, this is not checking myheart rate because my heart is beating fast
in this bision. It is notcalculating. It is not right. So
(37:42):
I was like, can you recalibratemy wash? She started cat enough.
She's like, it does it itselfeverywhe to whatever in such days. I
was like, okay, well,this must be the day that it's on
the verge of Can you just pisha button and make it calibrate because them
splat points can't possibly be right.And she goes, no, no,
she's trying to explain your body's acclimatingthis and that. But you know me,
I heard Charlie Brown's teacher. Iwas like, you don't know nothing.
(38:04):
I'm gonna I was like, okay, okay, thank you, and
then I said almost, I haven'ta week I have a weekend appointment with
a man to the fitness lady,and I'm gonna let her explain this shit
to me because the watch is notworking. Okay. So first of all,
(38:27):
congratulations on not only setting a reallygreat short term goal that was short.
So thirty days that was long.That's a short term goal. That
is great. A lot of alot of people set goals that are either
unrealistic as they're starting out, orthey choose goals that are really hard to
(38:49):
um to quantify. So you saida really great short term goal. So
anybody listening to this setting okay,I would just want to get to this
many days is awesome. So clapsgolf claps for you. The second part
of this is your experiencing the consequencesof your actions, and the consequences being
that your endurance. Your physical fitnesshas improved, and so now you're going
(39:13):
to have to find ways that youcan continue to challenge yourself because your body
adapts. And so now what you'refinding is that what was previously really challenging
for you is now becoming more manageable, and you're going to have to work
differently. I don't want to sayharder, differently than what you normally do
to achieve the same benefits. That'sgreat, that's exactly what you want to
(39:37):
have happen because that shows that you'remaking progress. A lot of folks when
they start exercises you've expressed here,are only looking for that progress that happens
in that visual piece of your physiquechanging but increased cardiovascular health, increased cardiovascular
fitness, whatever you want to say, is a consequence of forcing yourself to
(40:04):
do cardiovascular exercise. Okay, soyou've achieved another goal that you didn't set
out to achieve. Maybe, butyou're just going to have to find different
ways. So your splot points,I'm guessing it's I don't remember how they're
calculating it, but I'm going tosay that they're looking at your heart rate
zone, which is a number that'sachieved by putting in your age times to
(40:30):
twenty divided by something, and that'sgoing to tell you where you should be
working for your fat burning zone.Your fat burning zone is that nice,
juicy place where the first place thatyou burn your calories from are your carb
stores, and once those carb storesare depleted, then your body's going to
tap into that fat and start usingthat for fuel. So we don't want
(40:52):
to work in our anaerobic zone wherewe're working, you know, past the
point of the muscles using that oxygenin creating that unsustainable like amount of physical
fitness. So like that would belike a sprint, you can only sprint
for so long. That would beworking in your anaerobic zone. So that's
probably the red zone is where they'remeasuring. The orange zone is going to
(41:14):
be below that and it's going tobe sustainable. You could sustain it for
thirty minutes for sixty minutes, andso that's measuring that heart rate and that
target zone which is going to beyour most sustainable, and then there's probably
a level below that, I wouldguess, which would be like your low
intensity. Is that right? Doyou have three zones? There's a bunch
(41:34):
there's gray. You ain't doing shit. There's there's blue. Okay, baby,
let's get it together. There's greengetting close. If you could just
put you know this, kick thisup a couple more notches, you'll be
in the orange and you know you'regonna, as the instructor would say,
light that screen up. I don'tlike it when everybody's orange and I ain't,
so i'd be trying to light mylittle screen. Um, okay,
(41:55):
so are you walking on the treadmill? Well, I think that I am
now a jogger because I was speedwalking and wasn't getting anywhere, and so
now and now I've just anytime wherethey're like, have your incline be at
a seven? I'll yeah, I'lladd, I'll say, fine, I'll
take your challenge. I'm gonna domy incline at an eight. How about
(42:19):
that? Yeah? And then Iheard that your speed at a point one
and it makes a difference. Solike, if I'm walking on an eight
incline and then my speed is four, kick it up to a little four
point one and see what happens atthat point. Though now I'm not fast
walking, I'm doing a little tinyjog because I'm like bitious, I can't
(42:42):
keep him, and the whole timemy motivation is don't fall forward and hit
these teeth. So I'm like,oh, I got a jog to keep
up on my treadmill. Yeah youknow what I mean. I mean all
of my shit is completely superficial andridiculous. I'll spend the whole sixty minutes
in the class, like, justmake sure these weights don't fall out of
(43:02):
your hand when you're reaching up highand now you hit your face. Just
make sure that the whole time.I'm worried about my teeth the entire time.
That's why when you were like,you should go tubing tubing tubing sounds
like getting your teeth fixed. Butyeah, I'm trying to find new ways
(43:23):
to get into that orange because I'mbasically I know you don't want to say
work harder. I have to workharder because my body is now used to
you know, the little amounts ofwork that I did, which only took
thirty days, which is good forme. But now what I do is
I flip flop it. So Iused to do my weights first and then
my cardio last. Now I domy cardio first. I hate it.
(43:45):
I don't want to do it.It puts me in a bad mood.
I don't want to be on there, but I want to get it over
with. And then when I moveover to the weights portion of the thing,
I'm fucking tired. Yeah, Andit makes me have to like really
push and want to be there toget this done at the same time.
And I hope that if you're listeningto this, my honesty serves you,
(44:14):
well, I hit the thirty daygoal and I'm like, that's enough of
that. Like I'm really about tohang it up. I know, oh
my god, stop, but I'mgoing to keep going. I'm gonna keep
going. And you know, I'mgoing to fight really hard to quiet the
(44:37):
voice in my head that's going whereare these results and nothing's happened yet,
because I think that I'm going toneed to get to three months ninety days
to really see something. So whatyou need to do now, because you
are now thirty days into creating thishabit for doing something that is not normally
(44:57):
a part of your week. It'snot normally part of your day, and
it's not something that you particularly craveor love at this point, So you're
going to say, Okay, I'mgoing to consistently stick with the fitness movement
part for the next thirty days,and now I'm going to start looking at
am I in a caloric deficit.That's the first thing. Okay. The
(45:20):
second part, am I hitting myprotein goals for the day. The third
part of it is I'm going totake a photo of my body. Listen,
Nope. The scale is a toolto measure something. In this case,
it's the gravitational force of your bodybeing held on the planet Earth.
(45:44):
So that includes lean mass, thatincludes non lean mass, that includes stomach
contents that if you haven't taken aship in twenty four hours, there's poop
in there, there's water that yourmuscles are holding onto. It's a tool,
but it's a terrible tool for checkingprogress. So you either have to
take measurements or you have to takea photo so that you can see visually
(46:06):
that there's a difference happening. Becausethe scale is just beyond being a bad
way of measuring, you know,physical progress. It's also like there's so
many emotional things tied up in it. And we've talked about this before,
like your quote unquote ideal weight inyour brain. There are a lot of
things that get in the way whenwe use just the scale to measure progress.
(46:28):
It's a tool, but if youcan't get on it without mind fucking
yourself, then it's not worth it. Threaten to me, Listen to me,
though, you are asking a personwho has literal trauma from photographs,
moving photographs, photographs existing in general. You know, like, I just
got here with my face, Okay, I only recently just started taking photos
(46:51):
of my actual face, and eventhen, I'm like, what happened there?
Eyebrows? Cut those off? Youknow, So by the time I'm
done looking at my face, I'vecovered up all the parts. All I
have is a picture of my smile. So like, we got to slow
down, We got to slow down, a full body picture of me existing
in my phone so that I cancompare side by side to No. No,
(47:15):
man, we are not. Ican't have that. I can't look
at that. No. I understandthat it's uncomfortable. And I'm not saying
that you even have to look atthem. You could take those pictures,
take them off, put them ina folder on your computer, and just
leave them there and then take anotherone in a month. I'm only saying
this because a lot of people areso surprised. They feel the exact same
(47:38):
way that you do, and theyare shocked at the physical difference that has
happened from the top of the monthto the bottom if they're staying consistent with
their nutrition and with their exercise.I mean, every single time, every
single time, every single time,it is shocking. I mean, I'll
(47:58):
think about it, but I'm tellingyou right now, I have a full
length mirror in my bathroom, soevery time I take my clothes off,
I do see it and I'm like, oh new, and it doesn't look
different. My clothes feel a smidgedifferent. I will say that my clothes
feel a tiny bit different. Andalso my big ass underwear, the ones
(48:19):
that I got I had to stepup. Yeah, my big ass underwear
now feel like big ass underwear againbecause if they started to feel real regular
and I was like this, ain'tthis? So like now I'm having to
sort my big gass underwear from myregulars, you know. Yeah, which,
ye, that too was a goal. But I don't know if I
(48:43):
could commit to a naked ass picture, that's that's crazy. I'll try,
though. You don't have to benaked, just you could put on just
you know, sports braw and shorts. If that feels more comfortable. It's
going to be a little bit harderto see the changes that happen through your
glutes, through your hips, throughyour quads. But I will say that
(49:05):
it is incredibly helpful and you cancompletely ditch the scalt Now you could just
get a tape measure and take yourmeasurements. But I think a picture is
I also have a weird relationship withnumbers, so the calculation of numbers in
general, like clocks with hands,maps, distances, it's all math to
(49:35):
me. So that's crazy. I'llthink about it. You know what I
will do though, when I getthere, when I can see it in
my mind, with the way thatI want my body to look, I'll
start taking pictures of that at nauseum. You aren't, You're gonna be sick.
I'm gonna start texting you photos likeI'm sorry. I have you seen
my one ab? She looks socute. Note the sparkle that I put
(49:55):
on her. I I do,But my boobs are sitting different. My
bootydoo is a little different, butit all still doesn't look right. I
wait, do y'all know what abootydoo is? A bootydo. Yeah,
(50:15):
do you know what a bootydoo is? No? You never heard of a
bootydo? No? Were your stomachstick out further than your booty do?
So I'm saying my bootydoo is getting, you know, smaller, but it's
(50:36):
still there. Oh my god,Oh my god. But anyway, that's
good. I feel good and andyou know, I just want for those
of you listening and you think thatold lady Jim Corner is going to be
you know, inspiring or a bliftingor whatever, it's really not the purpose
(50:58):
of it is for me to beable to complain openly about a fitness journey,
because you know, the whole pointof it is being positive and you
know, making small games whatever,and like people don't like to hear motherfucker's
complaining about fitness and eating right andthis and that. But I also feel
like there is an important piece ofhaving the safe space to do that because
(51:22):
I can't keep the negative talk inmy brain. I have to let it
come out so that I can letit go, you know what I mean.
I don't want to be on thejam like, oh fuck the shit,
fuck the shit, fuck the shit. I've stopped doing that I'm like,
oh, yeah, you're ting agirl. I'm doing positive self talk
in my head. But then whenI get home and there are no results,
I do need a place to putthat energy. This is what is
so hard about having a human bodyand the messages that we get from society
(51:50):
and culturally about what it is weshould and shouldn't look like. And you
know, I fall victim to ittoo. I think it's I think it
would be disingenuous to say that there'sanybody that is just completely immune to it.
We all have things that we pickout. I was in a public
restroom at a restaurant yesterday and Iheard this girl. In the thirty seconds
(52:10):
that it took me to finish peeing, pull my pants up and wash my
hands, I heard this girl bitchabout her waist, about the shape where
that she was going to have towear that night, about how it was
going to roll down. And thenas I'm washing my hands, hear her
say shit about her butt. AndI turned around and looked at her and
I said, listen, this isthe only body you got, and that's
the only one you're gonna get,and you can be in your head all
(52:31):
day and talk shit like this andfeel miserable, or you can choose to
stop this because there's nothing wrong withyour body. And she just looked at
me and I was like, I'msorry. I walked out. I was
like I couldn't believe. And Quinnwas in there with me, and I
was like, oh my god,my kid is listening to this woman talk
shit about her body constantly and herfriends aren't saying anything to her. And
(52:51):
I've been there, and I,you know, sometimes fall into that hole
and have to pull myself out andit just takes regular practice. But you
have to recognize that you weren't achievingthe results that you wanted not doing it,
so clearly what you were doing beforewasn't working. You're actually seeing gains
(53:15):
happen in real time. You're doingsomething good for your body, or else
you wouldn't be seeing those cardiovascular gains. So it's not all for not,
but it doesn't all have to betied into how you look, which I
know is hard, so hard,so hard, and it also is like
it's a mind fuck too, becauseI also really like myself, you know,
(53:38):
like, yeah, if it wereup to me, good, if
it were up to me, Iwouldn't have the weird little voice that's has
these feelings about my you know,elderly approaching body. If it were up
to me, that part would nolonger exist. But everything is, you
know, it's baby steps. Igotta get to where I love this,
(54:00):
But you know, I also don'twant to feel bad about a very normal
part of a woman's life, whichis unfortunately to have disparaging talk about your
body. And then you know,and some of it is also rooted in
(54:21):
um then not knowing when you hadit. You see what I'm saying.
Yeah, Like I can't. I'llthink back and I'll be like, wow,
I thought I was gross in thispicture. Meanwhile, the picture is
a literal picture of stunning beauty andhealth. And I'm like, oh my
(54:42):
gosh, this this voice has beena disaster for a very long time.
And I'm going to have to activelyphysically work to shut her the fuck up.
Yea, And I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna I'm gonna make it
a gold to get there. AndI think the voice never ever goes away.
(55:04):
It just gets easier to ignore orquieter. Yes, there's always going
to be something, and it's juston how you choose to manage it,
and you know, and I thinktoo, like I find my perception of
my body or how I look toget really loud the week before my period,
(55:25):
Like I was having really bad bodyfeelings yesterday and I had to stop
myself and then like do that mathof like when is my period starting?
Because without fail, I am somean to myself that whole week before,
and I think it's all out ofits hormonal. But I think that that's
also really interesting to look at too, and like where did you where did
(55:47):
you pick up these feelings? Okay, now, how can I be more
gentle to myself and nicer? Andso when those feelings creep in of you
know, whatever it is that you'rehating on that week? Okay, well
what can I find that I like, Well, if it's your teeth right
now, then it's your teeth andyou can give yourself all those lovely compliments
about your teeth. Oh, Imove on from it. It's about my
(56:09):
teeth. I'll talk about my teeth. I mean randomly in the middle of
the day, I'll be like,justin no, seriously, honestly, look
at me, look at your wife, look deep into my mouth, look
at it is it not. Isthis not the smile that you'd imagine that
I would have, Like when yousaid, in your mind, I want
(56:31):
to marry a girl who smile lightsin the room. I mean, my
smile lights up a fucking room.Have you seen it? I mean,
doctor A did that shit my fuckingteeth? I mean really gorgeous and that
I didn't see. I was justabout to do it. I was just
(56:52):
about to go. And that Ispent fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen,
nineteen, twenty years chasing the smile. I didn't have it, Like
I'm mad about that time lost.But that's okay. That's okay because I'm
gonna be on the tail end ofmy life. Yep, cheese and like
(57:13):
a motherfucker Hello out there in theImperfect Strangers podcast universe. Thank you for
listening to the show. Thank youfor your support. If you want more
Imperfect Strangers in your life, makesure that you are subscribing to the show
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(58:15):
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