August 27, 2025 • 46 mins
I didn’t know how long this episode would end up being, but I’m not surprised it ended up being 45+ minutes long.
The “main post” is only about 4-5 minutes long, and the ramblings of page two took the rest of the time.
I hope you enjoy the backstory of my journey getting into graduate school! (Though episodes “It’s Just a Matter of When” part one through five tell the story pretty well too haha!)
Here is a link to my table of contents: https://docs.google.com/docume...
Make sure to turn on notifications so you never miss a new episode!
The “main post” is only about 4-5 minutes long, and the ramblings of page two took the rest of the time.
I hope you enjoy the backstory of my journey getting into graduate school! (Though episodes “It’s Just a Matter of When” part one through five tell the story pretty well too haha!)
Here is a link to my table of contents: https://docs.google.com/docume...
Make sure to turn on notifications so you never miss a new episode!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hello, and welcome back to my podcast. I am going
to read my blog post. It's just a matter of
when today. I posted this on August ninth, twenty twenty five,
but I was working on it for a long time.
I think I started this back in March, and I
officially posted it August ninth. Okay, here we go. When
(00:36):
I applied to graduate school my first time and was
waiting to hear back, my grandma said to me, it's
not a matter of if you get into graduate school,
it's just a matter of when. I found comfort in
that sentence many many times. For example, on February twenty fourth,
twenty twenty four, I had to remind myself that Heavenly
Father had a plan for me. When I found out
I had not gotten into the program, I so desperately
(00:58):
wanted to get into. It a matter of when. It's
just a matter of when. On December twenty third, twenty
twenty four, when I realized I did not get an
interview to a graduate program I dreamed of getting into,
I questioned Heavenly Father and sobbed out in confusion. I
don't understand. This doesn't make sense. What now? Again, reminding
(01:19):
myself it's not a matter of if, It's just a
matter of when. I felt devastated that I had to
wait another year to apply, but I was undeterred. The
next day, I realized there were still two programs that
had not closed yet. The application due dates were in January,
so I applied to both a final Hail Mary. Each
step of the application was tedious and anxiety provoking, but
(01:41):
I put everything I had into them, and I prayed
and prayed. To my delight, I received an email with
an invite to interview for UVU's clinical Mental Health Counseling program,
and on the morning of that interview, I got another
email from bi used Masters of Marriage, Family and Human
Development program. I had my interview for you on February third,
and biu'sed on February tenth. You can listen to my
(02:05):
podcast episode titled It's Just a matter of When, Part
four to hear the details about those interviews, so I'll
leave them out of this post. Then, on February twenty fourth,
I heard back from you view the words I was
extremely familiar with, we regret to inform you. To my surprise,
I didn't feel too badly. In fact, I was kind
(02:25):
of relieved on February twenty fifth, I received an email
I did not see coming. I received words I did
not see coming, words I had not seen before in
the context I so desperately wanted to see them. In quote,
we are pleased to inform you that the Marriage, Family
and Human Development Graduate Committee has unanimously voted to recommend
(02:49):
you to graduate studies for admittance into our master's programs
starting in September twenty twenty five. Close quote to say
I drummed around in excitement is an underst statement. Yes,
I really did jump around emphatically. My Grandma was right.
It wasn't a matter of if, it was just a
matter of when. Being where I am now and being
(03:11):
able to look back, I clearly see where Heavenly Father
led and guided me along the path to his perfect plan,
and I am so excited to see what else is
in store for me. I'm excited for you too. I
promise you that God's plan for you. It's not a
matter of if, it's a matter of when. In General
Conference of April twenty twenty five, Bishop Gerald Cassau said,
(03:34):
I don't know how to say his name. Guys, I'm sorry,
he said, I testify that while many circumstances in life
may be beyond our control, none of us is beyond
the reach of the Lord's infinite blessings. Through his a
tooning sacrifice, the Savior will compensate for every inability and
injustice if we offer our whole souls to him. I
(03:55):
highly encourage you to read or listen to his entire talk.
It's very good. I know Heavenly Father loves you, I
know the Savior understands you, and I know your desperate
pleadings and quiet prayers are heard. They will make sense,
they will be answered. It's just a matter of one
and that's the end of the official blog post. But
(04:18):
I tried something new for this post, and so rather
than leaving it all on one page, I decided to
put the main part on page one, and then the
rambles of thousands and thousands of words on page two.
So I wrote down, feel free to stay on page
one and skip all the rambles or even skim page two.
I'll never know. And since this is a podcast episode
(04:40):
where I'm reading it, I am going to read page
two to you. However, I already decided before I started
recording this that I'm not editing it, So it's not
going to be perfect, and I'm probably going to restart
a few sentences and it's not going to be a
perfectly edited version. But I'm just gonna read what I wrote,
and there will be some mistakes. But one of my
(05:03):
least favorite things of editing, sorry, let me take that back,
one of my least favorite parts of having a podcast
is editing. I hate it. It drives me nuts. I
don't like it. It's not fun. I only really enjoy
it if I'm editing an episode that I recorded with
someone else and I love our topic and I love
what we talked about, then it's like hanging out with
(05:24):
them all over again. But editing my own words from
my own mouth is kind of like, Okay, you know,
I've had enough of you. I spend all day, every
day for my entire life with you, and I don't
want to listen to you talk and rambles. So that's
the honest truth and that anyway, So I've decided I
(05:48):
am going to listen or I'm going to record the
rest of this podcast episode. My gosh, I can't even
speak anymore. I'm going to read the rest of my
blog post on this podcast episode. But I'm not editing it,
edit iting it. I'm not editing it. So if you
(06:08):
want about now, I understand you've listened to the main part. Anyway,
I decided I am going to edit those first three
minutes and then I'm not editing this. All right, So
here we go page two. By the way, there are
six thousand, seven hundred and something words on this page.
Not kidding that I did a word counter over six
(06:29):
thoy seven hundred words. That's wild, that's crazy. All right,
Here we go. I started writing this post the very
first week of March. Then I didn't touch it till
May twenty fifth. After May twenty fifth, I disappeared again
until June third. I visited it. I visited it on
June twenty second, and I finished this on August ninth.
(06:51):
And that's why I take ten years to write a
blog post. It's true, though, if I don't feel inspired,
I'm like, yeah, I'll come back. It's just what happens, okay.
One thing that I love about myself is that I
have been a privy. I have been a pretty avid
journal writer since about third grade. Of course, my consistency
has waned and weaned over the years, and the way
I journal has changed as time has passed. I used
(07:13):
to write in a physical journal, physical journal, and I
tried really hard to write every single day. Then in
twenty nineteen, I switched over to a digital phone on
my digital journal on my phone, and I wrote my
hand considerably less. I still have the journal I began
in twenty seventeen, and it's nearly full. It's been five
years and I still have not finished it. Oftentimes the
(07:33):
newer entries jump month, jump months. Some have jumped nearly
a year. Lately, my form of journaling has been done
on Gospel Library. Kind of weird, I know, but that's
where I've journaled. The wonderful thing about this is that
I always is that I tried to always bring my
thoughts back to spiritually matters, spiritual matters and to having faith.
(07:54):
I didn't used to do that in my journals. It
was simply free. Right. On November six, twenty twenty four,
I started a new challenge. It's actually something I found
from a friend's missionary email. She invited us to do
the challenge and I took her up on it. Here
it is the challenge. Every day, open to a random
page and read a random verse, mark the verse, then
(08:14):
right next to it how it applies to your life,
and then apply it. It was an exciting endeavor and I
thoroughly enjoyed the adventure. Now over two hundred days later,
I continue to pick a verse and make a note.
I always used blue highlight, and as I've been reading
the Book of Mormon again this year, I often run
into my entries. It elevates the quality of my study
(08:35):
and makes it way more meaningful. I'm grateful I began
the challenge at the time that I did, because it
was there to support me during the months of limbo
and worry. I hung to the script I hung to
the scriptures, to the comforting words, and to the knowledge
that Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of me.
In this blog post, I have decided to share several
of these journal entries. Some of them are pretty raw,
(08:58):
but I tried to stay hope filled in each one.
If you listen to my podcast here you Are, you
will recognize three to four of them as actually planning
on writing and publishing this post as all this was happening,
but didn't end up doing so. I've looked through my
notes extensively and have decided to start with Day twenty three.
(09:18):
So I decided, as I'm reading these to you, that
I'm going to read the verse the scripture verse first,
and then go and read the gentry. So the scripture
is Jacob four to ten, where four brethren seek not
to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.
For behold ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom
and injustice, and in great mercy over all his works.
(09:41):
And then this is Day twenty three, November thirtieth, twenty
twenty four, at six oh five am. Today was truly randomized.
I asked Siri to pick a random number for each part.
I counted how many books were in the Book of Mormon,
and then I put it into a random number generator.
Then I told it to pick a random number one
through seven how many chapters are in Jacob, and then
(10:02):
one through eight. That's how many verses are in Jacob
seven or Jacob four. Yes, Jacob four. Here we are
on verse ten, and it's a good one. I love
how this verse starts out, quote seek not to counsel
the Lord close quote close quote. How often do we
do that? We go to him? In prayer and tell
him exactly what we want and how we want it. Heck,
(10:24):
I'm guilty of that at times. Just these last few months,
I had expectations of what this year off from school
was going to look like, and I was disappointed and
frustrated when it didn't go the way I wanted. Sometimes
I still feel the pressure of not having a full
time job or saving up money. If that's not trying
to counsel the Lord, I'm not sure what it is.
I'm not sure what is Letting God prevail my life
(10:45):
means trusting that he knows best and not getting frustrated
when that doesn't align with my plans. Then, of course
quote take counsel from his hand close quote is important.
I want to trust him, to let him prevail, to
pray for guidance, to seek his will and not my
own own, into follow promptings. I have seen the blessings
that come from taking his counsel. At the end of
(11:05):
the day, he will always know better than I do.
The scripture says so itself. Quote he counsel with in
wisdom and injustice, and a great mercy over all his
works close quote. So not only does he have all
power and can do whatever he desires. He also is
everything that is good his work. His works are wise,
(11:26):
just and merciful. Is that not the perfect combination? His
works are full of love. This scripture is applicable to
me because I want to continue working on trusting him
and seeking his will rather than trying to oppose mine
on to him. I don't know if opposes the right word,
but that's what I wrote down. So here we go
in two specific ways and going to work on one
(11:48):
my part time job and not worrying that I'm not
saving enough, saving up enough money. Two getting into graduate school.
I've officially applied to two schools, SEU and Baylor, and
I'm waiting to hear back. Being them was scary, But
I know that he knows. Day twenty eight. The scripture
is Ether ten thirty two, And it came to pass
(12:09):
that Calm drew away half of the kingdom, and he
reigned over half of the kingdom forty and two years,
and he went to battle against the king Amjid Amgid, Amjid,
I don't know, and they fought for the space of
many years, during which time Calm gained power over Amgid
and obtained power over the remainder of the kingdom. December fifth,
(12:29):
eleven O nine a m. As I was in this
cluster room this morning, I randomly flipped to this verse.
I decided to make it the verse for the day
and do the challenge on it. I wasn't sure what
the context was for the story, so I went back
and read from the and read from the beginning of
chapter ten. Luckily for me, Com is a good guy.
He follows the Lord and walks up brightly. Thank goodness,
because it's going to be applied. It's going to be
(12:51):
easier to apply this to my life. Also, lucky for
all of his people, he was a good king and
reigned for forty two years. Anyway, yeah, I wrote several wives. Anyway, Okay,
I want to focus on the phrase quote for the
space of many years close quote. This is related to
waiting on the Lord and his evidence of Colm's waiting.
(13:11):
If Tom was righteous and followed the ways of the Lord,
then that means he had a righteous desire to help
the people under AMGD. I'm sure Com paid, prayed and
asked for help many times. Sorry, I lost my spot,
but the Lord didn't win the war for Com. He
had to fight Amgod for the space of many years.
This happens to us. Sometimes it's happened to me. We
(13:34):
have a righteous desire and hope Heavenly Father will grant it,
but that's not always the way it works. Sometimes we
have to patiently wait for it, acting in faith and
continuing to believe, even if answers don't come right away.
Com eventually won the war and became king. This applies
to me because it is evidence that after the waiting
period we are blessed. We must continue to act in faith,
(13:56):
never doubting while we wait for our miracle. For me, personally,
I'm waiting to get into graduate school. Believe me, there's
been a lot of waiting, a lot, But I hope
that during this waiting period I am showing Heavenly Father
what I am made of and what I can accomplish.
Even if everything doesn't go my way, I am grateful
that I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for
me and will not let me waste away. He wants
(14:19):
me to succeed. It's very comforting. Day forty five Marona
nine twenty five. My son be faithful in Christ, and
may not the things which I have written grieve thee,
to wait thee down unto death. But may Christ lift
THEE up, and may his sufferings and death and the
showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and
(14:39):
long suffering in the hope of His glory and of
eternal life rest in your mind forever. December twenty third,
twenty twenty four at eight nineteen pm. Well, I come
to you with a very broken heart. I just found
out that I didn't receive an interview for SUU SID program,
and I feel absolutely devastated. It's one of those situations
(15:01):
where tears come easy and the sobs occasionally jump out.
I called my grandma because I'm in Arizona right now,
and talk to her about it. It just feels so
devastating and sad. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what's next. I don't know what the
plan is. I don't get it. This felt right, I
knew it felt right. I guess I'm deeply confused. I
(15:25):
know that Jesus Christ understands, and he understands a lot
more than just this. I'm grateful to have the knowledge
that I'm not alone and that there is a plan
for me. I don't know what the plan is, obviously, ah,
but I know everything will be okay when it will be,
and what that will entail only Heaven knows. Day forty six,
(15:48):
first five four to one. And it came to pass
that I spake unto my brethren, saying, let us go
up again into Jerusalem, Jerusalem, and let us be faithful
in keeping the commandments of the Lord. For behold, he
is mightier than all the earth. That why not mightier
than Laban in his fifty yeay, or even then his
tens of thousands. December twenty fourth, twenty twenty four, at
(16:09):
six forty three pm. These three phrases are applicable to
me in my life right now. Let us go up again,
let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord,
and he is mightier than all the earth. I just
applied to graduate school for my second time, and I
didn't get in. I didn't even get an interview this time.
So the application processed. Part of my life is an over.
(16:30):
It's probably just begun begun, but I will go up again.
I wish I knew what was next, because I'm extremely stressed.
What now? What am I supposed to do. All of
the programs that I want to get into I should
have already applied to. The deadlines have come and gone.
I wish I hadn't been so stink and stubborn and
had applied to more places. I didn't know what I
(16:51):
would do without the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and without
the knowledge that I have a heavenly Father who knows me,
is aware of me, and has a plan for me.
I just need to find out what that is. So
I will quote be faithful in keeping the commandments of
the Lord closed quote because that's all I have right now,
my covenants and the commandments. I have no plan other
than that. It's a good reminder that heavenly Father is
(17:14):
the most powerful being, and he wants what is best
for me. He is mightier than all the earth, than
all the essays out there, than all the graduate programs,
than all the stress and anxiety possible. He is above
it all. I know he can help me. I know
this is just a chapter in my story and isn't
the end. Just like Nephi, I will go and do
and will be faithful. Day forty seven Nehemiah Nahamyah Nehamayah Nehemiah.
(17:42):
I don't know how to say it, guys, I'm sorry. Nehemiah,
naha nehe maya Nehemiah to eighteen. Then I told them
of the hand. Then I told them of the hand
of my God, which was good upon me, as also
the King's words that he spoke unto me. And they said,
let us rise up and build. So they strengthened their
(18:04):
hands for this good work. December twenty fifth, twenty twenty four,
at twelve twenty seven, Am, Mary Christmas. You won't be
surprised to hear that I'm still thinking about graduate school
and the predicament I'm in. I did quite a lot
of research into schools today, and I started the application
for two programs. There's one at there's one at BYU
for a master's in marriage, Family and Human Development, and
(18:27):
there's a master's degree from UVU and clinical Mental health counseling.
As stated, I'm going to apply to both. UVU's closes
to close as January third and BYU's closes January tenth. Luckily,
my CV is done, so I just need to write
the different letters of intent for both of them. Anyway,
let's talk about how this verse is applicable to me
in my current situation. I know that quote the hand
(18:48):
of God is good upon me close quote, and that
he is aware of me. I know that he wants
me to be happy, and he has a plan and
purpose for me. I'm sure as I sabbed on Monday night,
he was thinking, Oh, my sweet Kira, I promise you
this is for the best. Good things are to come.
I'm trying to lead you there. Another phrase that stands
out to me is quote, let us rise up and
(19:10):
build close quote. I need to rise up and move forward, believing, hoping, trusting,
and exercising faith. I also want to build my resume,
build my expertise, gain more experience, and become a better person. Lastly,
quote they strengthen their hands for this good work close.
Quote is applicable to me because this continual rejection is
teaching me to be humble, to depend on the Lord,
(19:32):
to trust in him, and to have hope and faith
that everything will be okay, that everything will be wonderful.
I know one day that this will simply be a
chapter in my story. It will be an important chapter,
but a chapter. Nonetheless, the story is just beginning, and
I know there is so much goodness in store, so
much more excitement ahead. Please be with me as I
work on these applications, and give me hope that THEE
(19:55):
is guiding me and leading me. I know I'm not alone,
and I'm grateful for that day fifty five around I
seven forty and again, my beloved brethren, I would speak
unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can
attain unto faith? Say ye shall have hope? January third,
twenty twenty five, at ten oh two pm, I'm going
(20:17):
to write directly how this relates to my life right now.
As you know, I applied to SEU SID program and
I haven't gotten in twice now. This has been discouraging,
to say the least, But currently I'm feeling drawn to
perhaps move up north. I applied to a graduate program
at UVU and I'm going to apply to a graduate
program at BYU. Part of me wants to prepare myself
(20:40):
not to hear back to just assume that I'll have
to wait another year to apply to a million places.
Believe me, I'm not making the same mistake of not
applying to several places three times in a row. The
other part of me wants to have hope, hope, and faith.
I want to have faith that everything is as Heavenly
Father wants it to be, because I know he has
a plan in store for me. Oh, because I know
(21:00):
he has a better plan in store for me than
the one I can come up with myself. I want
to have faith that this is where I'm currently being led,
because the thought of another year where I'm doing nothing
makes me very stressed and sick. I want to have
faith that big things are coming soon. So based on
the Scripture, I need to have hope first, a sliver
of hope, and the faith will come. I think more
(21:22):
of me believes that I'll get into either b AU
or U View than the part of me that believes
I'll wait another year. So that's good. The faith is
out weighing the fear. The funny thing is that if
I do get into one of those programs, the challenge
has just begun. Moving hundreds of miles away, meeting new people,
establishing myself once again. That's not going to be easy,
(21:43):
but I think it's what I want. Doesn't feel right
to stay here in Cedar, whistling whistling away while life
passes me by. If moving up north is what Heavenly
Father wants me to do. I will go, but also
now that's what I want because it feels right. Please,
Heavenly Father, help this all work out. Help us be
part of your plan. Haha, Whips, look at me counseling
(22:06):
the Lord. If it's not though I know that you
know best, I want to let the prevail in my life.
Help me align my will with signs Day fifty eight. Oh,
this is a doozy okay, John fourteen twenty seven. Peace.
I leave with you my peace. I give unto you,
not as the world giveth, Give I unto you. Let
(22:29):
not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
This one's long. Okay, we go. January sixth, twenty twenty five,
at three twelve a m. I'm awake. I'm not at work,
so I have no reason to be awake, but my
sleep schedules at a funky time of life, funky time
of its life. So here we are. This scripture is
(22:51):
not random for today. I chose it. I'm blessed to
have a memory where I can remember scripture references. I
hope to only add to my knowledge as the years pass. First,
to journal a little bit. There's currently a heaviness on
my chest, and I know what it is. I felt
it for many years before this, and I know I'll
probably feel it on and off for the rest of
my life. Because I've been such an avid journal writer
and have completed years of therapy, I've become quite adept
(23:14):
at evaluating my emotions and putting a name to them.
This particular feeling ugh its name is anxiety. I wish
I could tell you why I'm specifically anxious this time,
but that remains a little bit of a mystery. I mean,
I have an idea, and I'm sure it makes a
big part of that, and I'm sure it makes up
a big part of this ominous and scary feeling weighing
on my heart. I'm in limbo. I have no idea
(23:36):
what's coming next to my life, and I feel the
pressure to succeed quite strongly. This pressure to succeed doesn't
stem from outside sources. It is an individual battle as
I strive to grow and become a better version of myself.
While I get in at BYU or U view, I
desperately hope so because I don't know what I'm gonna
do if I don't truly, and I'm not kidding here.
(23:57):
I feel sick to my stomach thinking about lying in
wait again. I don't know if I can do it,
because not actively working towards continuing my education is killing me.
I miss being productive and being intellectually stimulated. I miss
the social aspect of school, and I miss having a
clear purpose. I even miss assignment's at homework. I know
that's crazy, but it's true. The funny thing to me
(24:18):
is that if I do get into one of these programs,
my life is going to drastically change. I'll have to move,
and it won't be easy, and it won't be cheap.
I'll have to get rid of stuff, and I'll have
to figure out where I'll store my water jugs. I
know it probably seems stupid and insignificant to you, but
it's a real worry for me. Okay, I'm just saying
I found a place that I could store my water
jugs right by my room and it works out great. Okay,
(24:39):
continuing on, I fixed my podcasting program. I fix my
podcasting problem because I bought a new microphone and won't
have to bring the whole set up with me. The
two microphones attached to a subway table in my garage.
These are problems that are not even relevant right now,
yet they weigh heavily on my mind and heart. I
know the biggest wordy, I know the biggest worry is
(24:59):
waiting for the emails, the ones that say I've earned
an interview or been rejected again. So now that I've journaled,
I can talk about why I chose this first today.
It's pretty simple, really. I recognize that I need peace
in my life. Because of my temple covenants and the
choices I've made to be close to the Spirit. I've
received countless messages of comfort from Heavenly Father and Jesus
(25:22):
Christ via the Holy Ghost. I love you, Kira. It
will be okay, Yes, I do, in response to me
thinking God is a plan for me. I love you, Kira.
I've got you. I'm aware of you, Kira. Don't worry.
I'm serious. Isn't that cute. I'm proud of you, Kira.
I've got you, Kira, don't worry. I love you, Kira.
It will be okay. It'll be okay, Kira, trust me.
(25:43):
I love you, Kira. I'm so proud of you. And then,
while working on application materials, I'm proud of you, Kira,
You've got this. I love you, Kira, I've got you.
I'm proud of you, Kira. I love you, Kira, I've
got you. I'm not writing these from memory, though I
do remember them. They came from my feeling the spirit journals.
I don't know what the level of anxiety would be
in my life without these comforting messages. I'm sure it
(26:06):
would be astronomical, much higher than it is now. Unfortunately,
the anxiety is still high enough to wake me up
in the middle of the night. It is still enough
to give me a headache. It is still enough to
make my stomach churn with concern that rhymed. I know
one purpose of this anxiety, or at least one way
I can consecrate these feelings, is to remember to stay humble,
(26:27):
to recognize that I am dependent on God, and that's okay.
In fact, it's good. Being meek and humble is part
of God's will, and I truly do want to let
God prevail in my life. As I spend more time
in this place of waiting. I want to seek peace
from Jesus Christ. Because of my temple covenants and because
I choose to wear my temple garments, I have greater
(26:47):
access to the Saviour's mercy, power, strength, and protection. I'm
not just saying that because it sounds nice. I know
it is true because I have learned that I receive
those specific things. In a prayer meeting before my shift
an ordnance worker, I can turn to Hemnly Father and
Jesus Christ, and I will Heavenly Father told me himself
that he's got me, that he's proud of me, that
(27:09):
he trusts me. I didn't add that above, but I've
heard that too. He's told me that everything will be okay.
He's told me not to worry. I met with the
bishop yesterday. It's after midnight, aha, and he told me
that because I strive to live the Gospel the way
I do, and because of my living close to the Spirit,
everything will work out the way it's supposed to, and
that God will not leave me astray. I don't know
(27:31):
what that means or until specifically, but I guess that's
the point in trusting in him. I will continue to
study the scriptures and words of daily prophets, serve in
the temple, follow prompting, follow promptings, and be the best
disciple of Christ that I can be. I know that
Heavenly Father will not leave me alone, and he will
not leave me comfortless. I look forward to receiving more
(27:53):
messages from heaven. I will look for the peace that
only the Savior offers. I know God doesn't lie. He
means it when he says it will be okay, and
that he has a plan for me. He asks me
to trust him and I will Day fifty nine, DNC
thirty one. Behold, I say unto you, David, that ye
(28:14):
have feared man and have not relied on me for
strength as you are. January seventh, twenty twenty five, at
seven thirty eight am. WHOA. This one feels like it's
calling me out. I do feel like I am doing
fairly well in trusting in the Lord and a heavenly
Father rather than freaking out. But I'm humans, so of
course there are still lingering feelings of distress. But you
(28:34):
know what, no matter what, it's going to be okay.
I think and I believe and I have faith that
I will get into one of these programs up north.
I've been led here, So why would Heavenly Father all
of a sudden hang me out to dry? I don't
think he would this being said, like me shack ratshack
and a bendigo. I have enough faith that even if
a miracle does not occur, I will still believe. It's
(28:58):
like having enough faith not to be healed. This is
just a chapter in my story. Day sixty nine, first five,
seventeen thirteen. And I will also be your light in
the wilderness, and I'll prepare the wave before you. If
it so be that ye shall keep my commandments. Wherefore,
inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall be
led towards the Promised Land. And ye shall know that
(29:20):
it is by Me that ye are led. January seventeenth,
twenty twenty five, at two forty five p m. The
scripture is comforting. No matter what, if I keep my
covenants and keep the commandments, Heavenly Father will help me
and bless me. He will figuratively lead me to the
Promised Land. I don't know what's next in my life.
In fact, I'm in a pretty big position of limbo.
(29:41):
I know that places where I know that, places where
I am unsure of what is next are opportunities for
me to turn to heaven Father and trust in him.
This scripture reinforces that everything will be okay Day eighty
five DNC four three. Therefore, if ye have desires to see
serve God, you are called to the work. February two,
(30:04):
twenty twenty five, at ten forty pm tomorrow is my
interview for you've used Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master's program.
I'm excited, but I'm also nervous. I asked my uncle
if you would give me a patriarch not a patriarchal blessing. Sorry,
I asked my uncle if you would give me a
priest a blessing, and he said yes. One thing that
he mentioned prior to starting is that not only should
(30:25):
the program choose me, but I get to choose it.
That felt very true to me. If it isn't the
right place, I hope I can feel it in my heart.
Even though I don't have many options to make this
verse applicable to me, I'm going to substitute a word. Therefore,
if you have desires to serve others, ye are called
to the work. The fun thing about plugging in others
in the spot where God is works. According to Mosiah
(30:48):
two seventeen, as I am in the service of my
follow beings, I am only in the service of my God.
So as I embark on my journey tomorrow to interview
at this program, I hope I am able to remember
that Holy Father has a plan for me. Even if
this isn't it, I have a desire to serve others.
I have a desire to serve God. Therefore, according to
the scripture, I will be called to do the work.
(31:11):
This means that even if this particular program doesn't work out,
it doesn't mean that something else won't. He has me
in his sights and is leading me where I need
to go. I just hope I get to find out
where that is soon. Day eighty six, DNC twenty five three. Behold,
thy sins are forgiven THEE and thou art an elect
(31:32):
lady whom I have called. February third, at seven sixteen am.
My interview for u VUS Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master's
Program is today. It starts at ten am. Unfortunately, my
mind included my body that this is a big deal,
so my sleep was not very RESTful. I kid you not.
I love the typo I wrote, I kind you not,
(31:54):
I kid you not. I welcome at three ten am,
four eight am five to eight zo in five eight
five o eight am, five thirty two am and five
fifty seven am. I think I went back to sleep again,
but I don't remember what time I got up. This
interview is a big deal right now, it's my only shot. However,
I did get an email that I got an interview
for a Bui got an interview for BYU an hour
(32:16):
after I wrote this. If I don't get in here,
I don't know what is next for me. I don't
know what Heavenly Father wants me to do. But I
have faith, not necessarily that I will get in, but
that he has a plan for me. As my best
friend would say, where one of my best friends would
say this or something better. That doesn't mean the pressure
isn't on, though, I need to do everything that I
(32:40):
can to get in. If this is his will, I
am responsible for giving it all that I have. Okay,
now to the scripture. I love that first, before anything else,
Emmas told that her sins are forgiven. I think we
take for granted the knowledge that our sins are forgiven
through the atonement of Jesus Christ. We take for granted
the ability to repent, to renew our covenant each week,
(33:01):
But for Emma being told that her sins were forgiven
was probably a big deal. Next, what a powerful compliment
from the Lord. Thou art an elect lady? As Brad
Wilcox said, approximately, it is one thing to be loved
and an entirely different thing to be trusted. Close quote.
I would imagine that Christ calling Emma an elect lady
(33:23):
implies that he trusts her. Finally, quote whom I have
called close quote, I too have been called in fact,
my patriarchal Bussing says that I will be Wow, I
didn't even wrote that I put this in my blog,
but I did so I'll read it here. I should
have gone through this before I posted this. That's kind
(33:43):
of awkward. Well, here it is, I too have been called.
In fact, my patriarchal Bussing says that I will quote
be a great leader in the church. Close quote. It
is my responsibility to be worthy and to stay on
the covenant path so I can become the person I
need to become in order to be called a great leader.
I don't know if a master's degree in clinical mental
(34:04):
health counseling at you've used the next step for me,
but I guess we will find out no matter what
I know. The Hemling Father loves me, trust me, knows me,
is aware of me, and wants what's best for me.
That is most important. Day one hundred and four DNC
one O nine seven. And as all have not faith,
(34:26):
seek he diligently and teach one another. Teach one another
words of wisdom. Yea, seek you out of the best books,
words of wisdom. SEEKI learning even by study and also
by faith. February twenty second, at seven thirty am this morning,
as I was sweeping and mopping the shelter. Around two
thirty am, I was listening to the Recent Speeches podcast
(34:49):
from BYU. I actually had time to listen to two
and a half talks. One of them mentioned President Nelson's
challenge to read the Kirkland Temples dedic Dedicatory Prayer. I
founded DNC one on nine. So I decided to come
on this chapter and pick a verse to write on
this verse. This verse stood out to me specifically because
at the end it has by U's vision slash mission statement,
(35:12):
by study and by faith. How do I Why did
I write this? I can't believe I put this in here.
I should come back and edit this. Why did I
write this? All right, I'm just gonna read it. I
(35:36):
really really should have gone through this before I posted it. Oh,
my gosh. Okay, since this is my personal Gospel Library account,
I'm going to get real with you, my gosh. Okay.
There was a client at shelter a couple months back
that claimed to be a medium and sometimes clairvoyant. I
(35:56):
know it sounds weird, but stick with me, okay. Anyway,
I told her I'd apply to BYU and U you
and she said, ooh, I think we are both feeling BYU,
and I think that's where you're going to meet your
future husband. Now listen, before you start to freak out,
I just want you to know that I'm sharing this
because it seems further truth that my gut feelings are right.
I truly feel drawn to BYU, and it seems to
be divine design that I even applied to the Marriage, Family,
(36:19):
and Human Development Master's program because when I realized it
was a researcher's degree, I felt hesitant to continue my
application as it wouldn't lead to becoming a therapist. And
the honest truth is I continued to apply because I
had already started the application and sent out the request
for letters of recommendation. So what was I supposed to do?
Email my professors and say, yeah, never mind, no way.
(36:41):
I was not going to do that, So I pushed
ahead and applied, even though it initially felt weird to
apply to a program that I didn't think would even
get me to where I want to go. But now
a couple of months later, I genuinely found myself deciding
that if I get an offer from BYU, I will
be going there. As I walked to campus before and
after my interview, I could see myself there. I could
(37:02):
see myself as a BYU student. I felt comfortable there
and felt at home. I recognize that this entry is
not going to age twelve if I do not get in,
but I feel deep in my heart that somehow I will.
So back to what that So back to what that
past client said. When she said that she was feeling
BYU and she mentioned that she noticed that I was too,
(37:23):
it made me unbelievably excited. It felt real, and it
felt good. I bring her up, not necessarily because I
believe that she can see the future, but because she
made me realize that I want to go to BYU.
It's possible that the signs I find myself finding are
merely coincidences, or more likely that it's confirmation biased and
I'm finding what I'm looking for. But I also believe
(37:44):
that having fathers in the details of coincidences, and there
is no such thing. Once again, this is not going
to age twelve if I do not get in. People
have asked me what my plan is if I do
not get in at either school up north, and I
tell them the truth, I don't know. I've decided not
to worry about that yet. Although I know it is
good to be prepared, it somehow feels like I'm not
(38:04):
truly trusting in heavenly Father. If I start preparing myself
for a plan D, this has already planned C. It
might already it might be a plan even further down
the alphabet. Honestly, so why prepare as though I don't
believe that this is right. Back to the verse, Seek
ye diligently boom, what a phrase, teach one another words
(38:25):
of wisdom boom. As a researcher, I can share the
findings we discover with others. Seek you out of the
best books words of wisdom. I know that BYU is
gonna guide me the literature that aligns with my faith.
Seek learning even by study and also and also by faith.
YEP already spoke on this. Anyway, I need to go.
I've been running for a long time and I at work.
(38:46):
Ha ha. Today was a good one. My gosh, I'm
still not even done yet. This is crazy. Okay. Sorry
you sure you don't want to bow out yet because
you're still here. Oh you're the best. Okay. Day one
hundred and seven, another one. I do ought to say
feel a mon will say feel amon Filimon one, verse
(39:07):
three through six. Grace to you and peace from God,
our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my
God making mention of thee always in my prayers, hearing
of thy love and faith which thou hast towards the
Lord Jesus and toward all saints, that the communication of
thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every
good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. February
(39:30):
twenty fifth, twenty twenty five, at eight thirty one pm. Wow. Wow,
you've been with me through it all, especially since December
twenty third, twenty twenty four. Now it's February twenty fifth,
twenty twenty five, and I finally have good news. Finally
I found out tonight around six thirty PM that I
(39:52):
got into bi US Marriage, Family and Human Development Master's program.
I am beyond stoked and honored. My heart feels full
with gratitude and appreciation and thanksgiving. I truly feel so
seen and blessed. I know that this is God's plan
for me, and it's such an epic story. I picture
myself years from now speaking to a crowd of people
(40:12):
about the devastation I felt and not getting into Suu's
program both times, the sadness I felt when I received
and read the email on January twenty four, twenty twenty four,
and the sadness and devastation I felt when I realized
and had confirmed that I didn't get an invite to
interview at SEU on December twenty third, twenty twenty four.
(40:33):
Now I can talk about the joyous news, joyous news
I got today. The amazing and wonderful thing is that
today I walked, slash hiked up a trail near Grandma's
house and I listened to a devotional that Neili Maxwell
gave back in January nineteen ninety six. It was titled
Brim with Joy. There were many aspects of that talk
that I related to. I felt out peace by what
(40:55):
he was teaching, and I continued to ponder my life
in graduate school. I had finished walking head finished back.
My goodness. I had finished walking and headed back to
my grandparents' house. At this point I sat up back
with them and we began talking about graduate school. I
just finished telling them that that I was prepared not
to get in, I'd just stick around and apply to
(41:16):
it and prepare to apply again. I then opened my
email and saw an email from BYU Admissions. I clicked
on it and was directed to a page where I
had to log in. Thank goodness, my login information was
saved in my phone because I could not remember it.
I could barely believe my eyes when I read the
word congratulations. I haven't been able to read that word
yet in terms of getting into graduate school, and my
(41:38):
heart pounded in my chest celebrating so today as I
do the challenge. When I randomly opened to these verses,
they felt so right. I feel his grace, I feel
at peace. I thank my God and talk about how
grateful I am for his presence and guidance in my life. Boy,
am I blessed eternally and infinitely blessed. Every good thing
(42:01):
comes from Jesus Christ, and because of his restored Gospel.
Thank THEE, Heavenly Father, for knowing what I needed, Thank
THEE for leading me the right way, and thank THEE
for trusting me and guiding me. I am so so
so blessed. Day one hundred and eight, February twenty six,
twenty twenty five, at eight twenty p. M Oh, I
(42:23):
forgot to read the scripture. This is my last one. Okay,
Day one hundred and eight. Luke seventeen fifteen, and one
of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back,
turned back and with a loud voice, glorified God and
fell down on his feet at his and fell down
on his face at his feet, giving him thanks. And
he was a Samaritan. February twenty six, twenty twenty five,
(42:44):
at eight twenty pm. I've received a miracle, and not
just one miracle, but a myriad of them over a
space of time. The specific miracle I'm talking about is
getting into a master's program at BYU. All the other
miracles wore little nudges from heaven to take a certain
class or join a certain research project. With these miracles,
I need to make absolute certain that I followed the
(43:05):
example set by the one leper who went back to
thank Jesus for the rest of my life. Prayers of
thanksgiving and gratitude need to be consistent and constant, sincere
and genuine, not routine, routine and inauthentic. Because my heart
feels so tender and grateful, I am sure I can
show my genuine appreciation and gratitude through prayer without it
(43:27):
being stale, extremely applicable verse tonight. Wow, that's all of it.
And then I wrote thank you for reading all my rambles.
I invite you to thank Kathleen Father for all of
your blessings too. It changes everything. Why did I read
it like that? Someone tell me, okay, before I close
off this journal or this podcast episode which turned out
(43:47):
to be so long. I don't know how long it
would take me because there's, like I said, six seven
hundred and something words which I just read, and now
I need to drink of water. I hope my breathing
didn't drive you crazy. Sometimes I edit that up, but
I'm not planning on editing this, so sorry in advance.
I guess it's not really a sorry advance because you
just listened to all of that, but whatever. Anyway, thank
(44:10):
you for taking the time to listen to all that.
I guess you got to find out a couple of
things about me that I didn't even know I posted online,
so that's kind of crazy. And then I just decided
to go for it and read it on my podcast too,
so wow. Wow. Anyway, everything that I said about having
(44:30):
faith and trusting and God knowing me and God loving
me and being aware of me and all those things,
I didn't write it to be applicable to you, because
I was just writing in my gospel library app but
I hope that as you were listening, you were applying
what I was saying to yourself as well. That God
loves you. The Heavenly Father knows you, that he's aware
of you, and then He's got a plan for you,
(44:52):
and it's not a matter of if it happens, but
it's a matter of when. I don't know what bussings
God has in store for you, but I know that
he's looking up a five store, five store, five star,
five course meal is what I'm trying to say it's good.
All right, it's good. There's some really really good, amazing
things coming, and the best part is that the best
(45:15):
is yet to come. It's amazing. It's incredible. And I
love the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love Heavenly Father,
and I love his son Jesus Christ, and I love
the Holy Ghost and all of the doctrine and all
of the Gospel and just all of it and the
scriptures and prayer with all my heart. And I'm so grateful.
And I really hope that when difficult things come in
(45:36):
your life that you can journal and turn to God
and maybe take up this challenge because it's pretty fun.
Find a verse in journal on it and make it
applicable to whatever's going on, because probably will be Thank
you again so much listening. Don't forget to embrace imperfection,
find meaning, satisfaction and joy from the journey. I'm Kyra,
and this is imperfectly broken. The podcast to terrestet Ritari
(46:07):
and Terrestatata
Hello, and welcome back to my podcast. I am going
to read my blog post. It's just a matter of
when today. I posted this on August ninth, twenty twenty five,
but I was working on it for a long time.
I think I started this back in March, and I
officially posted it August ninth. Okay, here we go. When
(00:36):
I applied to graduate school my first time and was
waiting to hear back, my grandma said to me, it's
not a matter of if you get into graduate school,
it's just a matter of when. I found comfort in
that sentence many many times. For example, on February twenty fourth,
twenty twenty four, I had to remind myself that Heavenly
Father had a plan for me. When I found out
I had not gotten into the program, I so desperately
(00:58):
wanted to get into. It a matter of when. It's
just a matter of when. On December twenty third, twenty
twenty four, when I realized I did not get an
interview to a graduate program I dreamed of getting into,
I questioned Heavenly Father and sobbed out in confusion. I
don't understand. This doesn't make sense. What now? Again, reminding
(01:19):
myself it's not a matter of if, It's just a
matter of when. I felt devastated that I had to
wait another year to apply, but I was undeterred. The
next day, I realized there were still two programs that
had not closed yet. The application due dates were in January,
so I applied to both a final Hail Mary. Each
step of the application was tedious and anxiety provoking, but
(01:41):
I put everything I had into them, and I prayed
and prayed. To my delight, I received an email with
an invite to interview for UVU's clinical Mental Health Counseling program,
and on the morning of that interview, I got another
email from bi used Masters of Marriage, Family and Human
Development program. I had my interview for you on February third,
and biu'sed on February tenth. You can listen to my
(02:05):
podcast episode titled It's Just a matter of When, Part
four to hear the details about those interviews, so I'll
leave them out of this post. Then, on February twenty fourth,
I heard back from you view the words I was
extremely familiar with, we regret to inform you. To my surprise,
I didn't feel too badly. In fact, I was kind
(02:25):
of relieved on February twenty fifth, I received an email
I did not see coming. I received words I did
not see coming, words I had not seen before in
the context I so desperately wanted to see them. In quote,
we are pleased to inform you that the Marriage, Family
and Human Development Graduate Committee has unanimously voted to recommend
(02:49):
you to graduate studies for admittance into our master's programs
starting in September twenty twenty five. Close quote to say
I drummed around in excitement is an underst statement. Yes,
I really did jump around emphatically. My Grandma was right.
It wasn't a matter of if, it was just a
matter of when. Being where I am now and being
(03:11):
able to look back, I clearly see where Heavenly Father
led and guided me along the path to his perfect plan,
and I am so excited to see what else is
in store for me. I'm excited for you too. I
promise you that God's plan for you. It's not a
matter of if, it's a matter of when. In General
Conference of April twenty twenty five, Bishop Gerald Cassau said,
(03:34):
I don't know how to say his name. Guys, I'm sorry,
he said, I testify that while many circumstances in life
may be beyond our control, none of us is beyond
the reach of the Lord's infinite blessings. Through his a
tooning sacrifice, the Savior will compensate for every inability and
injustice if we offer our whole souls to him. I
(03:55):
highly encourage you to read or listen to his entire talk.
It's very good. I know Heavenly Father loves you, I
know the Savior understands you, and I know your desperate
pleadings and quiet prayers are heard. They will make sense,
they will be answered. It's just a matter of one
and that's the end of the official blog post. But
(04:18):
I tried something new for this post, and so rather
than leaving it all on one page, I decided to
put the main part on page one, and then the
rambles of thousands and thousands of words on page two.
So I wrote down, feel free to stay on page
one and skip all the rambles or even skim page two.
I'll never know. And since this is a podcast episode
(04:40):
where I'm reading it, I am going to read page
two to you. However, I already decided before I started
recording this that I'm not editing it, So it's not
going to be perfect, and I'm probably going to restart
a few sentences and it's not going to be a
perfectly edited version. But I'm just gonna read what I wrote,
and there will be some mistakes. But one of my
(05:03):
least favorite things of editing, sorry, let me take that back,
one of my least favorite parts of having a podcast
is editing. I hate it. It drives me nuts. I
don't like it. It's not fun. I only really enjoy
it if I'm editing an episode that I recorded with
someone else and I love our topic and I love
what we talked about, then it's like hanging out with
(05:24):
them all over again. But editing my own words from
my own mouth is kind of like, Okay, you know,
I've had enough of you. I spend all day, every
day for my entire life with you, and I don't
want to listen to you talk and rambles. So that's
the honest truth and that anyway, So I've decided I
(05:48):
am going to listen or I'm going to record the
rest of this podcast episode. My gosh, I can't even
speak anymore. I'm going to read the rest of my
blog post on this podcast episode. But I'm not editing it,
edit iting it. I'm not editing it. So if you
(06:08):
want about now, I understand you've listened to the main part. Anyway,
I decided I am going to edit those first three
minutes and then I'm not editing this. All right, So
here we go page two. By the way, there are
six thousand, seven hundred and something words on this page.
Not kidding that I did a word counter over six
(06:29):
thoy seven hundred words. That's wild, that's crazy. All right,
Here we go. I started writing this post the very
first week of March. Then I didn't touch it till
May twenty fifth. After May twenty fifth, I disappeared again
until June third. I visited it. I visited it on
June twenty second, and I finished this on August ninth.
(06:51):
And that's why I take ten years to write a
blog post. It's true, though, if I don't feel inspired,
I'm like, yeah, I'll come back. It's just what happens, okay.
One thing that I love about myself is that I
have been a privy. I have been a pretty avid
journal writer since about third grade. Of course, my consistency
has waned and weaned over the years, and the way
I journal has changed as time has passed. I used
(07:13):
to write in a physical journal, physical journal, and I
tried really hard to write every single day. Then in
twenty nineteen, I switched over to a digital phone on
my digital journal on my phone, and I wrote my
hand considerably less. I still have the journal I began
in twenty seventeen, and it's nearly full. It's been five
years and I still have not finished it. Oftentimes the
(07:33):
newer entries jump month, jump months. Some have jumped nearly
a year. Lately, my form of journaling has been done
on Gospel Library. Kind of weird, I know, but that's
where I've journaled. The wonderful thing about this is that
I always is that I tried to always bring my
thoughts back to spiritually matters, spiritual matters and to having faith.
(07:54):
I didn't used to do that in my journals. It
was simply free. Right. On November six, twenty twenty four,
I started a new challenge. It's actually something I found
from a friend's missionary email. She invited us to do
the challenge and I took her up on it. Here
it is the challenge. Every day, open to a random
page and read a random verse, mark the verse, then
(08:14):
right next to it how it applies to your life,
and then apply it. It was an exciting endeavor and I
thoroughly enjoyed the adventure. Now over two hundred days later,
I continue to pick a verse and make a note.
I always used blue highlight, and as I've been reading
the Book of Mormon again this year, I often run
into my entries. It elevates the quality of my study
(08:35):
and makes it way more meaningful. I'm grateful I began
the challenge at the time that I did, because it
was there to support me during the months of limbo
and worry. I hung to the script I hung to
the scriptures, to the comforting words, and to the knowledge
that Heavenly Father loves me and is aware of me.
In this blog post, I have decided to share several
of these journal entries. Some of them are pretty raw,
(08:58):
but I tried to stay hope filled in each one.
If you listen to my podcast here you Are, you
will recognize three to four of them as actually planning
on writing and publishing this post as all this was happening,
but didn't end up doing so. I've looked through my
notes extensively and have decided to start with Day twenty three.
(09:18):
So I decided, as I'm reading these to you, that
I'm going to read the verse the scripture verse first,
and then go and read the gentry. So the scripture
is Jacob four to ten, where four brethren seek not
to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.
For behold ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom
and injustice, and in great mercy over all his works.
(09:41):
And then this is Day twenty three, November thirtieth, twenty
twenty four, at six oh five am. Today was truly randomized.
I asked Siri to pick a random number for each part.
I counted how many books were in the Book of Mormon,
and then I put it into a random number generator.
Then I told it to pick a random number one
through seven how many chapters are in Jacob, and then
(10:02):
one through eight. That's how many verses are in Jacob
seven or Jacob four. Yes, Jacob four. Here we are
on verse ten, and it's a good one. I love
how this verse starts out, quote seek not to counsel
the Lord close quote close quote. How often do we
do that? We go to him? In prayer and tell
him exactly what we want and how we want it. Heck,
(10:24):
I'm guilty of that at times. Just these last few months,
I had expectations of what this year off from school
was going to look like, and I was disappointed and
frustrated when it didn't go the way I wanted. Sometimes
I still feel the pressure of not having a full
time job or saving up money. If that's not trying
to counsel the Lord, I'm not sure what it is.
I'm not sure what is Letting God prevail my life
(10:45):
means trusting that he knows best and not getting frustrated
when that doesn't align with my plans. Then, of course
quote take counsel from his hand close quote is important.
I want to trust him, to let him prevail, to
pray for guidance, to seek his will and not my
own own, into follow promptings. I have seen the blessings
that come from taking his counsel. At the end of
(11:05):
the day, he will always know better than I do.
The scripture says so itself. Quote he counsel with in
wisdom and injustice, and a great mercy over all his
works close quote. So not only does he have all
power and can do whatever he desires. He also is
everything that is good his work. His works are wise,
(11:26):
just and merciful. Is that not the perfect combination? His
works are full of love. This scripture is applicable to
me because I want to continue working on trusting him
and seeking his will rather than trying to oppose mine
on to him. I don't know if opposes the right word,
but that's what I wrote down. So here we go
in two specific ways and going to work on one
(11:48):
my part time job and not worrying that I'm not
saving enough, saving up enough money. Two getting into graduate school.
I've officially applied to two schools, SEU and Baylor, and
I'm waiting to hear back. Being them was scary, But
I know that he knows. Day twenty eight. The scripture
is Ether ten thirty two, And it came to pass
(12:09):
that Calm drew away half of the kingdom, and he
reigned over half of the kingdom forty and two years,
and he went to battle against the king Amjid Amgid, Amjid,
I don't know, and they fought for the space of
many years, during which time Calm gained power over Amgid
and obtained power over the remainder of the kingdom. December fifth,
(12:29):
eleven O nine a m. As I was in this
cluster room this morning, I randomly flipped to this verse.
I decided to make it the verse for the day
and do the challenge on it. I wasn't sure what
the context was for the story, so I went back
and read from the and read from the beginning of
chapter ten. Luckily for me, Com is a good guy.
He follows the Lord and walks up brightly. Thank goodness,
because it's going to be applied. It's going to be
(12:51):
easier to apply this to my life. Also, lucky for
all of his people, he was a good king and
reigned for forty two years. Anyway, yeah, I wrote several wives. Anyway, Okay,
I want to focus on the phrase quote for the
space of many years close quote. This is related to
waiting on the Lord and his evidence of Colm's waiting.
(13:11):
If Tom was righteous and followed the ways of the Lord,
then that means he had a righteous desire to help
the people under AMGD. I'm sure Com paid, prayed and
asked for help many times. Sorry, I lost my spot,
but the Lord didn't win the war for Com. He
had to fight Amgod for the space of many years.
This happens to us. Sometimes it's happened to me. We
(13:34):
have a righteous desire and hope Heavenly Father will grant it,
but that's not always the way it works. Sometimes we
have to patiently wait for it, acting in faith and
continuing to believe, even if answers don't come right away.
Com eventually won the war and became king. This applies
to me because it is evidence that after the waiting
period we are blessed. We must continue to act in faith,
(13:56):
never doubting while we wait for our miracle. For me, personally,
I'm waiting to get into graduate school. Believe me, there's
been a lot of waiting, a lot, But I hope
that during this waiting period I am showing Heavenly Father
what I am made of and what I can accomplish.
Even if everything doesn't go my way, I am grateful
that I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for
me and will not let me waste away. He wants
(14:19):
me to succeed. It's very comforting. Day forty five Marona
nine twenty five. My son be faithful in Christ, and
may not the things which I have written grieve thee,
to wait thee down unto death. But may Christ lift
THEE up, and may his sufferings and death and the
showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and
(14:39):
long suffering in the hope of His glory and of
eternal life rest in your mind forever. December twenty third,
twenty twenty four at eight nineteen pm. Well, I come
to you with a very broken heart. I just found
out that I didn't receive an interview for SUU SID program,
and I feel absolutely devastated. It's one of those situations
(15:01):
where tears come easy and the sobs occasionally jump out.
I called my grandma because I'm in Arizona right now,
and talk to her about it. It just feels so
devastating and sad. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what's next. I don't know what the
plan is. I don't get it. This felt right, I
knew it felt right. I guess I'm deeply confused. I
(15:25):
know that Jesus Christ understands, and he understands a lot
more than just this. I'm grateful to have the knowledge
that I'm not alone and that there is a plan
for me. I don't know what the plan is, obviously, ah,
but I know everything will be okay when it will be,
and what that will entail only Heaven knows. Day forty six,
(15:48):
first five four to one. And it came to pass
that I spake unto my brethren, saying, let us go
up again into Jerusalem, Jerusalem, and let us be faithful
in keeping the commandments of the Lord. For behold, he
is mightier than all the earth. That why not mightier
than Laban in his fifty yeay, or even then his
tens of thousands. December twenty fourth, twenty twenty four, at
(16:09):
six forty three pm. These three phrases are applicable to
me in my life right now. Let us go up again,
let us be faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord,
and he is mightier than all the earth. I just
applied to graduate school for my second time, and I
didn't get in. I didn't even get an interview this time.
So the application processed. Part of my life is an over.
(16:30):
It's probably just begun begun, but I will go up again.
I wish I knew what was next, because I'm extremely stressed.
What now? What am I supposed to do. All of
the programs that I want to get into I should
have already applied to. The deadlines have come and gone.
I wish I hadn't been so stink and stubborn and
had applied to more places. I didn't know what I
(16:51):
would do without the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and without
the knowledge that I have a heavenly Father who knows me,
is aware of me, and has a plan for me.
I just need to find out what that is. So
I will quote be faithful in keeping the commandments of
the Lord closed quote because that's all I have right now,
my covenants and the commandments. I have no plan other
than that. It's a good reminder that heavenly Father is
(17:14):
the most powerful being, and he wants what is best
for me. He is mightier than all the earth, than
all the essays out there, than all the graduate programs,
than all the stress and anxiety possible. He is above
it all. I know he can help me. I know
this is just a chapter in my story and isn't
the end. Just like Nephi, I will go and do
and will be faithful. Day forty seven Nehemiah Nahamyah Nehamayah Nehemiah.
(17:42):
I don't know how to say it, guys, I'm sorry. Nehemiah,
naha nehe maya Nehemiah to eighteen. Then I told them
of the hand. Then I told them of the hand
of my God, which was good upon me, as also
the King's words that he spoke unto me. And they said,
let us rise up and build. So they strengthened their
(18:04):
hands for this good work. December twenty fifth, twenty twenty four,
at twelve twenty seven, Am, Mary Christmas. You won't be
surprised to hear that I'm still thinking about graduate school
and the predicament I'm in. I did quite a lot
of research into schools today, and I started the application
for two programs. There's one at there's one at BYU
for a master's in marriage, Family and Human Development, and
(18:27):
there's a master's degree from UVU and clinical Mental health counseling.
As stated, I'm going to apply to both. UVU's closes
to close as January third and BYU's closes January tenth. Luckily,
my CV is done, so I just need to write
the different letters of intent for both of them. Anyway,
let's talk about how this verse is applicable to me
in my current situation. I know that quote the hand
(18:48):
of God is good upon me close quote, and that
he is aware of me. I know that he wants
me to be happy, and he has a plan and
purpose for me. I'm sure as I sabbed on Monday night,
he was thinking, Oh, my sweet Kira, I promise you
this is for the best. Good things are to come.
I'm trying to lead you there. Another phrase that stands
out to me is quote, let us rise up and
(19:10):
build close quote. I need to rise up and move forward, believing, hoping, trusting,
and exercising faith. I also want to build my resume,
build my expertise, gain more experience, and become a better person. Lastly,
quote they strengthen their hands for this good work close.
Quote is applicable to me because this continual rejection is
teaching me to be humble, to depend on the Lord,
(19:32):
to trust in him, and to have hope and faith
that everything will be okay, that everything will be wonderful.
I know one day that this will simply be a
chapter in my story. It will be an important chapter,
but a chapter. Nonetheless, the story is just beginning, and
I know there is so much goodness in store, so
much more excitement ahead. Please be with me as I
work on these applications, and give me hope that THEE
(19:55):
is guiding me and leading me. I know I'm not alone,
and I'm grateful for that day fifty five around I
seven forty and again, my beloved brethren, I would speak
unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can
attain unto faith? Say ye shall have hope? January third,
twenty twenty five, at ten oh two pm, I'm going
(20:17):
to write directly how this relates to my life right now.
As you know, I applied to SEU SID program and
I haven't gotten in twice now. This has been discouraging,
to say the least, But currently I'm feeling drawn to
perhaps move up north. I applied to a graduate program
at UVU and I'm going to apply to a graduate
program at BYU. Part of me wants to prepare myself
(20:40):
not to hear back to just assume that I'll have
to wait another year to apply to a million places.
Believe me, I'm not making the same mistake of not
applying to several places three times in a row. The
other part of me wants to have hope, hope, and faith.
I want to have faith that everything is as Heavenly
Father wants it to be, because I know he has
a plan in store for me. Oh, because I know
(21:00):
he has a better plan in store for me than
the one I can come up with myself. I want
to have faith that this is where I'm currently being led,
because the thought of another year where I'm doing nothing
makes me very stressed and sick. I want to have
faith that big things are coming soon. So based on
the Scripture, I need to have hope first, a sliver
of hope, and the faith will come. I think more
(21:22):
of me believes that I'll get into either b AU
or U View than the part of me that believes
I'll wait another year. So that's good. The faith is
out weighing the fear. The funny thing is that if
I do get into one of those programs, the challenge
has just begun. Moving hundreds of miles away, meeting new people,
establishing myself once again. That's not going to be easy,
(21:43):
but I think it's what I want. Doesn't feel right
to stay here in Cedar, whistling whistling away while life
passes me by. If moving up north is what Heavenly
Father wants me to do. I will go, but also
now that's what I want because it feels right. Please,
Heavenly Father, help this all work out. Help us be
part of your plan. Haha, Whips, look at me counseling
(22:06):
the Lord. If it's not though I know that you
know best, I want to let the prevail in my life.
Help me align my will with signs Day fifty eight. Oh,
this is a doozy okay, John fourteen twenty seven. Peace.
I leave with you my peace. I give unto you,
not as the world giveth, Give I unto you. Let
(22:29):
not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
This one's long. Okay, we go. January sixth, twenty twenty five,
at three twelve a m. I'm awake. I'm not at work,
so I have no reason to be awake, but my
sleep schedules at a funky time of life, funky time
of its life. So here we are. This scripture is
(22:51):
not random for today. I chose it. I'm blessed to
have a memory where I can remember scripture references. I
hope to only add to my knowledge as the years pass. First,
to journal a little bit. There's currently a heaviness on
my chest, and I know what it is. I felt
it for many years before this, and I know I'll
probably feel it on and off for the rest of
my life. Because I've been such an avid journal writer
and have completed years of therapy, I've become quite adept
(23:14):
at evaluating my emotions and putting a name to them.
This particular feeling ugh its name is anxiety. I wish
I could tell you why I'm specifically anxious this time,
but that remains a little bit of a mystery. I mean,
I have an idea, and I'm sure it makes a
big part of that, and I'm sure it makes up
a big part of this ominous and scary feeling weighing
on my heart. I'm in limbo. I have no idea
(23:36):
what's coming next to my life, and I feel the
pressure to succeed quite strongly. This pressure to succeed doesn't
stem from outside sources. It is an individual battle as
I strive to grow and become a better version of myself.
While I get in at BYU or U view, I
desperately hope so because I don't know what I'm gonna
do if I don't truly, and I'm not kidding here.
(23:57):
I feel sick to my stomach thinking about lying in
wait again. I don't know if I can do it,
because not actively working towards continuing my education is killing me.
I miss being productive and being intellectually stimulated. I miss
the social aspect of school, and I miss having a
clear purpose. I even miss assignment's at homework. I know
that's crazy, but it's true. The funny thing to me
(24:18):
is that if I do get into one of these programs,
my life is going to drastically change. I'll have to move,
and it won't be easy, and it won't be cheap.
I'll have to get rid of stuff, and I'll have
to figure out where I'll store my water jugs. I
know it probably seems stupid and insignificant to you, but
it's a real worry for me. Okay, I'm just saying
I found a place that I could store my water
jugs right by my room and it works out great. Okay,
(24:39):
continuing on, I fixed my podcasting program. I fix my
podcasting problem because I bought a new microphone and won't
have to bring the whole set up with me. The
two microphones attached to a subway table in my garage.
These are problems that are not even relevant right now,
yet they weigh heavily on my mind and heart. I
know the biggest wordy, I know the biggest worry is
(24:59):
waiting for the emails, the ones that say I've earned
an interview or been rejected again. So now that I've journaled,
I can talk about why I chose this first today.
It's pretty simple, really. I recognize that I need peace
in my life. Because of my temple covenants and the
choices I've made to be close to the Spirit. I've
received countless messages of comfort from Heavenly Father and Jesus
(25:22):
Christ via the Holy Ghost. I love you, Kira. It
will be okay, Yes, I do, in response to me
thinking God is a plan for me. I love you, Kira.
I've got you. I'm aware of you, Kira. Don't worry.
I'm serious. Isn't that cute. I'm proud of you, Kira.
I've got you, Kira, don't worry. I love you, Kira.
It will be okay. It'll be okay, Kira, trust me.
(25:43):
I love you, Kira. I'm so proud of you. And then,
while working on application materials, I'm proud of you, Kira,
You've got this. I love you, Kira, I've got you.
I'm proud of you, Kira. I love you, Kira, I've
got you. I'm not writing these from memory, though I
do remember them. They came from my feeling the spirit journals.
I don't know what the level of anxiety would be
in my life without these comforting messages. I'm sure it
(26:06):
would be astronomical, much higher than it is now. Unfortunately,
the anxiety is still high enough to wake me up
in the middle of the night. It is still enough
to give me a headache. It is still enough to
make my stomach churn with concern that rhymed. I know
one purpose of this anxiety, or at least one way
I can consecrate these feelings, is to remember to stay humble,
(26:27):
to recognize that I am dependent on God, and that's okay.
In fact, it's good. Being meek and humble is part
of God's will, and I truly do want to let
God prevail in my life. As I spend more time
in this place of waiting. I want to seek peace
from Jesus Christ. Because of my temple covenants and because
I choose to wear my temple garments, I have greater
(26:47):
access to the Saviour's mercy, power, strength, and protection. I'm
not just saying that because it sounds nice. I know
it is true because I have learned that I receive
those specific things. In a prayer meeting before my shift
an ordnance worker, I can turn to Hemnly Father and
Jesus Christ, and I will Heavenly Father told me himself
that he's got me, that he's proud of me, that
(27:09):
he trusts me. I didn't add that above, but I've
heard that too. He's told me that everything will be okay.
He's told me not to worry. I met with the
bishop yesterday. It's after midnight, aha, and he told me
that because I strive to live the Gospel the way
I do, and because of my living close to the Spirit,
everything will work out the way it's supposed to, and
that God will not leave me astray. I don't know
(27:31):
what that means or until specifically, but I guess that's
the point in trusting in him. I will continue to
study the scriptures and words of daily prophets, serve in
the temple, follow prompting, follow promptings, and be the best
disciple of Christ that I can be. I know that
Heavenly Father will not leave me alone, and he will
not leave me comfortless. I look forward to receiving more
(27:53):
messages from heaven. I will look for the peace that
only the Savior offers. I know God doesn't lie. He
means it when he says it will be okay, and
that he has a plan for me. He asks me
to trust him and I will Day fifty nine, DNC
thirty one. Behold, I say unto you, David, that ye
(28:14):
have feared man and have not relied on me for
strength as you are. January seventh, twenty twenty five, at
seven thirty eight am. WHOA. This one feels like it's
calling me out. I do feel like I am doing
fairly well in trusting in the Lord and a heavenly
Father rather than freaking out. But I'm humans, so of
course there are still lingering feelings of distress. But you
(28:34):
know what, no matter what, it's going to be okay.
I think and I believe and I have faith that
I will get into one of these programs up north.
I've been led here, So why would Heavenly Father all
of a sudden hang me out to dry? I don't
think he would this being said, like me shack ratshack
and a bendigo. I have enough faith that even if
a miracle does not occur, I will still believe. It's
(28:58):
like having enough faith not to be healed. This is
just a chapter in my story. Day sixty nine, first five,
seventeen thirteen. And I will also be your light in
the wilderness, and I'll prepare the wave before you. If
it so be that ye shall keep my commandments. Wherefore,
inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments, ye shall be
led towards the Promised Land. And ye shall know that
(29:20):
it is by Me that ye are led. January seventeenth,
twenty twenty five, at two forty five p m. The
scripture is comforting. No matter what, if I keep my
covenants and keep the commandments, Heavenly Father will help me
and bless me. He will figuratively lead me to the
Promised Land. I don't know what's next in my life.
In fact, I'm in a pretty big position of limbo.
(29:41):
I know that places where I know that, places where
I am unsure of what is next are opportunities for
me to turn to heaven Father and trust in him.
This scripture reinforces that everything will be okay Day eighty
five DNC four three. Therefore, if ye have desires to see
serve God, you are called to the work. February two,
(30:04):
twenty twenty five, at ten forty pm tomorrow is my
interview for you've used Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master's program.
I'm excited, but I'm also nervous. I asked my uncle
if you would give me a patriarch not a patriarchal blessing. Sorry,
I asked my uncle if you would give me a
priest a blessing, and he said yes. One thing that
he mentioned prior to starting is that not only should
(30:25):
the program choose me, but I get to choose it.
That felt very true to me. If it isn't the
right place, I hope I can feel it in my heart.
Even though I don't have many options to make this
verse applicable to me, I'm going to substitute a word. Therefore,
if you have desires to serve others, ye are called
to the work. The fun thing about plugging in others
in the spot where God is works. According to Mosiah
(30:48):
two seventeen, as I am in the service of my
follow beings, I am only in the service of my God.
So as I embark on my journey tomorrow to interview
at this program, I hope I am able to remember
that Holy Father has a plan for me. Even if
this isn't it, I have a desire to serve others.
I have a desire to serve God. Therefore, according to
the scripture, I will be called to do the work.
(31:11):
This means that even if this particular program doesn't work out,
it doesn't mean that something else won't. He has me
in his sights and is leading me where I need
to go. I just hope I get to find out
where that is soon. Day eighty six, DNC twenty five three. Behold,
thy sins are forgiven THEE and thou art an elect
(31:32):
lady whom I have called. February third, at seven sixteen am.
My interview for u VUS Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master's
Program is today. It starts at ten am. Unfortunately, my
mind included my body that this is a big deal,
so my sleep was not very RESTful. I kid you not.
I love the typo I wrote, I kind you not,
(31:54):
I kid you not. I welcome at three ten am,
four eight am five to eight zo in five eight
five o eight am, five thirty two am and five
fifty seven am. I think I went back to sleep again,
but I don't remember what time I got up. This
interview is a big deal right now, it's my only shot. However,
I did get an email that I got an interview
for a Bui got an interview for BYU an hour
(32:16):
after I wrote this. If I don't get in here,
I don't know what is next for me. I don't
know what Heavenly Father wants me to do. But I
have faith, not necessarily that I will get in, but
that he has a plan for me. As my best
friend would say, where one of my best friends would
say this or something better. That doesn't mean the pressure
isn't on, though, I need to do everything that I
(32:40):
can to get in. If this is his will, I
am responsible for giving it all that I have. Okay,
now to the scripture. I love that first, before anything else,
Emmas told that her sins are forgiven. I think we
take for granted the knowledge that our sins are forgiven
through the atonement of Jesus Christ. We take for granted
the ability to repent, to renew our covenant each week,
(33:01):
But for Emma being told that her sins were forgiven
was probably a big deal. Next, what a powerful compliment
from the Lord. Thou art an elect lady? As Brad
Wilcox said, approximately, it is one thing to be loved
and an entirely different thing to be trusted. Close quote.
I would imagine that Christ calling Emma an elect lady
(33:23):
implies that he trusts her. Finally, quote whom I have
called close quote, I too have been called in fact,
my patriarchal Bussing says that I will be Wow, I
didn't even wrote that I put this in my blog,
but I did so I'll read it here. I should
have gone through this before I posted this. That's kind
(33:43):
of awkward. Well, here it is, I too have been called.
In fact, my patriarchal Bussing says that I will quote
be a great leader in the church. Close quote. It
is my responsibility to be worthy and to stay on
the covenant path so I can become the person I
need to become in order to be called a great leader.
I don't know if a master's degree in clinical mental
(34:04):
health counseling at you've used the next step for me,
but I guess we will find out no matter what
I know. The Hemling Father loves me, trust me, knows me,
is aware of me, and wants what's best for me.
That is most important. Day one hundred and four DNC
one O nine seven. And as all have not faith,
(34:26):
seek he diligently and teach one another. Teach one another
words of wisdom. Yea, seek you out of the best books,
words of wisdom. SEEKI learning even by study and also
by faith. February twenty second, at seven thirty am this morning,
as I was sweeping and mopping the shelter. Around two
thirty am, I was listening to the Recent Speeches podcast
(34:49):
from BYU. I actually had time to listen to two
and a half talks. One of them mentioned President Nelson's
challenge to read the Kirkland Temples dedic Dedicatory Prayer. I
founded DNC one on nine. So I decided to come
on this chapter and pick a verse to write on
this verse. This verse stood out to me specifically because
at the end it has by U's vision slash mission statement,
(35:12):
by study and by faith. How do I Why did
I write this? I can't believe I put this in here.
I should come back and edit this. Why did I
write this? All right, I'm just gonna read it. I
(35:36):
really really should have gone through this before I posted it. Oh,
my gosh. Okay, since this is my personal Gospel Library account,
I'm going to get real with you, my gosh. Okay.
There was a client at shelter a couple months back
that claimed to be a medium and sometimes clairvoyant. I
(35:56):
know it sounds weird, but stick with me, okay. Anyway,
I told her I'd apply to BYU and U you
and she said, ooh, I think we are both feeling BYU,
and I think that's where you're going to meet your
future husband. Now listen, before you start to freak out,
I just want you to know that I'm sharing this
because it seems further truth that my gut feelings are right.
I truly feel drawn to BYU, and it seems to
be divine design that I even applied to the Marriage, Family,
(36:19):
and Human Development Master's program because when I realized it
was a researcher's degree, I felt hesitant to continue my
application as it wouldn't lead to becoming a therapist. And
the honest truth is I continued to apply because I
had already started the application and sent out the request
for letters of recommendation. So what was I supposed to do?
Email my professors and say, yeah, never mind, no way.
(36:41):
I was not going to do that, So I pushed
ahead and applied, even though it initially felt weird to
apply to a program that I didn't think would even
get me to where I want to go. But now
a couple of months later, I genuinely found myself deciding
that if I get an offer from BYU, I will
be going there. As I walked to campus before and
after my interview, I could see myself there. I could
(37:02):
see myself as a BYU student. I felt comfortable there
and felt at home. I recognize that this entry is
not going to age twelve if I do not get in,
but I feel deep in my heart that somehow I will.
So back to what that So back to what that
past client said. When she said that she was feeling
BYU and she mentioned that she noticed that I was too,
(37:23):
it made me unbelievably excited. It felt real, and it
felt good. I bring her up, not necessarily because I
believe that she can see the future, but because she
made me realize that I want to go to BYU.
It's possible that the signs I find myself finding are
merely coincidences, or more likely that it's confirmation biased and
I'm finding what I'm looking for. But I also believe
(37:44):
that having fathers in the details of coincidences, and there
is no such thing. Once again, this is not going
to age twelve if I do not get in. People
have asked me what my plan is if I do
not get in at either school up north, and I
tell them the truth, I don't know. I've decided not
to worry about that yet. Although I know it is
good to be prepared, it somehow feels like I'm not
(38:04):
truly trusting in heavenly Father. If I start preparing myself
for a plan D, this has already planned C. It
might already it might be a plan even further down
the alphabet. Honestly, so why prepare as though I don't
believe that this is right. Back to the verse, Seek
ye diligently boom, what a phrase, teach one another words
(38:25):
of wisdom boom. As a researcher, I can share the
findings we discover with others. Seek you out of the
best books words of wisdom. I know that BYU is
gonna guide me the literature that aligns with my faith.
Seek learning even by study and also and also by faith.
YEP already spoke on this. Anyway, I need to go.
I've been running for a long time and I at work.
(38:46):
Ha ha. Today was a good one. My gosh, I'm
still not even done yet. This is crazy. Okay. Sorry
you sure you don't want to bow out yet because
you're still here. Oh you're the best. Okay. Day one
hundred and seven, another one. I do ought to say
feel a mon will say feel amon Filimon one, verse
(39:07):
three through six. Grace to you and peace from God,
our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my
God making mention of thee always in my prayers, hearing
of thy love and faith which thou hast towards the
Lord Jesus and toward all saints, that the communication of
thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every
good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. February
(39:30):
twenty fifth, twenty twenty five, at eight thirty one pm. Wow. Wow,
you've been with me through it all, especially since December
twenty third, twenty twenty four. Now it's February twenty fifth,
twenty twenty five, and I finally have good news. Finally
I found out tonight around six thirty PM that I
(39:52):
got into bi US Marriage, Family and Human Development Master's program.
I am beyond stoked and honored. My heart feels full
with gratitude and appreciation and thanksgiving. I truly feel so
seen and blessed. I know that this is God's plan
for me, and it's such an epic story. I picture
myself years from now speaking to a crowd of people
(40:12):
about the devastation I felt and not getting into Suu's
program both times, the sadness I felt when I received
and read the email on January twenty four, twenty twenty four,
and the sadness and devastation I felt when I realized
and had confirmed that I didn't get an invite to
interview at SEU on December twenty third, twenty twenty four.
(40:33):
Now I can talk about the joyous news, joyous news
I got today. The amazing and wonderful thing is that
today I walked, slash hiked up a trail near Grandma's
house and I listened to a devotional that Neili Maxwell
gave back in January nineteen ninety six. It was titled
Brim with Joy. There were many aspects of that talk
that I related to. I felt out peace by what
(40:55):
he was teaching, and I continued to ponder my life
in graduate school. I had finished walking head finished back.
My goodness. I had finished walking and headed back to
my grandparents' house. At this point I sat up back
with them and we began talking about graduate school. I
just finished telling them that that I was prepared not
to get in, I'd just stick around and apply to
(41:16):
it and prepare to apply again. I then opened my
email and saw an email from BYU Admissions. I clicked
on it and was directed to a page where I
had to log in. Thank goodness, my login information was
saved in my phone because I could not remember it.
I could barely believe my eyes when I read the
word congratulations. I haven't been able to read that word
yet in terms of getting into graduate school, and my
(41:38):
heart pounded in my chest celebrating so today as I
do the challenge. When I randomly opened to these verses,
they felt so right. I feel his grace, I feel
at peace. I thank my God and talk about how
grateful I am for his presence and guidance in my life. Boy,
am I blessed eternally and infinitely blessed. Every good thing
(42:01):
comes from Jesus Christ, and because of his restored Gospel.
Thank THEE, Heavenly Father, for knowing what I needed, Thank
THEE for leading me the right way, and thank THEE
for trusting me and guiding me. I am so so
so blessed. Day one hundred and eight, February twenty six,
twenty twenty five, at eight twenty p. M Oh, I
(42:23):
forgot to read the scripture. This is my last one. Okay,
Day one hundred and eight. Luke seventeen fifteen, and one
of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back,
turned back and with a loud voice, glorified God and
fell down on his feet at his and fell down
on his face at his feet, giving him thanks. And
he was a Samaritan. February twenty six, twenty twenty five,
(42:44):
at eight twenty pm. I've received a miracle, and not
just one miracle, but a myriad of them over a
space of time. The specific miracle I'm talking about is
getting into a master's program at BYU. All the other
miracles wore little nudges from heaven to take a certain
class or join a certain research project. With these miracles,
I need to make absolute certain that I followed the
(43:05):
example set by the one leper who went back to
thank Jesus for the rest of my life. Prayers of
thanksgiving and gratitude need to be consistent and constant, sincere
and genuine, not routine, routine and inauthentic. Because my heart
feels so tender and grateful, I am sure I can
show my genuine appreciation and gratitude through prayer without it
(43:27):
being stale, extremely applicable verse tonight. Wow, that's all of it.
And then I wrote thank you for reading all my rambles.
I invite you to thank Kathleen Father for all of
your blessings too. It changes everything. Why did I read
it like that? Someone tell me, okay, before I close
off this journal or this podcast episode which turned out
(43:47):
to be so long. I don't know how long it
would take me because there's, like I said, six seven
hundred and something words which I just read, and now
I need to drink of water. I hope my breathing
didn't drive you crazy. Sometimes I edit that up, but
I'm not planning on editing this, so sorry in advance.
I guess it's not really a sorry advance because you
just listened to all of that, but whatever. Anyway, thank
(44:10):
you for taking the time to listen to all that.
I guess you got to find out a couple of
things about me that I didn't even know I posted online,
so that's kind of crazy. And then I just decided
to go for it and read it on my podcast too,
so wow. Wow. Anyway, everything that I said about having
(44:30):
faith and trusting and God knowing me and God loving
me and being aware of me and all those things,
I didn't write it to be applicable to you, because
I was just writing in my gospel library app but
I hope that as you were listening, you were applying
what I was saying to yourself as well. That God
loves you. The Heavenly Father knows you, that he's aware
of you, and then He's got a plan for you,
(44:52):
and it's not a matter of if it happens, but
it's a matter of when. I don't know what bussings
God has in store for you, but I know that
he's looking up a five store, five store, five star,
five course meal is what I'm trying to say it's good.
All right, it's good. There's some really really good, amazing
things coming, and the best part is that the best
(45:15):
is yet to come. It's amazing. It's incredible. And I
love the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I love Heavenly Father,
and I love his son Jesus Christ, and I love
the Holy Ghost and all of the doctrine and all
of the Gospel and just all of it and the
scriptures and prayer with all my heart. And I'm so grateful.
And I really hope that when difficult things come in
(45:36):
your life that you can journal and turn to God
and maybe take up this challenge because it's pretty fun.
Find a verse in journal on it and make it
applicable to whatever's going on, because probably will be Thank
you again so much listening. Don't forget to embrace imperfection,
find meaning, satisfaction and joy from the journey. I'm Kyra,
and this is imperfectly broken. The podcast to terrestet Ritari
(46:07):
and Terrestatata
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