February 16, 2023 • 27 mins
Barry Farber welcomes Olympian Joetta Clark Diggs to the In Search of the Magic Tree podcast to discuss her secrets to creating a powerful environment for raising children. She will also share the impact her mom and dad had on her life and career that made her a world class track and field star with a work ethic that is second to none.
In 2009, Joetta was inducted into the USA Track and Field Hall of Fame honoring her 25-year career as “one of the greatest” runners in US History.
In Search of the Magic Tree is available now at www.BarryFarber.com/podcast and on your favorite podcast app.
In 2009, Joetta was inducted into the USA Track and Field Hall of Fame honoring her 25-year career as “one of the greatest” runners in US History.
- Seven-time U.S. Indoor champion
- Five-time U.S. Outdoor champion
- Four-time NCAA champion
- Top-10 in the world nine times
In Search of the Magic Tree is available now at www.BarryFarber.com/podcast and on your favorite podcast app.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Hi, I'm Barrie Farber, andthis is in search of the magic tree.
What magic are we looking for?Well, if you think about a
tree, several things come to mind. One the roots, the foundation for
(00:26):
something great. Two the branches representingthe connection and continuation of our legacy as
we pass down the values and beliefsto the next generation. And three potential,
something that starts as small as anacorn and becomes a giant oak.
We're going to explore how we canbuild the mind, body, and spirits
(00:49):
of our children. How to raiseour kids with key traits like patients,
positive attitudes, courage, empathy,determination, and more. Join me on
this adventure as we talk to celebrities, athletes, entertainers, business leaders,
educators, brain surgeons, and moreabout the magic to building success at an
(01:11):
early age. And we have JoeEdta. That's all I'll need to say
is Joe Edta. You know whoshe is. She's a world class athlete
with a work ethic second to none. She was inducted into the Hall of
Fame in two thousand and nine,ranked top ten in the world nine times,
(01:34):
fifteen time All American, eleven timeUSA National champion, nineteen ninety seven,
at age thirty seven, ranked numberfour in the world, and she
is a track and field expert.I want to tell you something interesting about
this show is that we're going totake a look at not just Joetta's upbringing
for father, who is Joe Clarkthey made the movie from Lena me played
(01:57):
by Morgan Freeman, but her youngersister, her sister in law, her
brother who's her coach, her daughterwho is an All American. We're going
to get to her in a moment, but she is surrounded by milieu of
unbelievable foundations for success in the fieldshe's in and for life. So Joetta,
thanks for coming on. Thank youBarry for having me on. I'm
(02:20):
excited to hear more about this interviewmyself kick up with a good thank you,
Sit back and enjoy, Joetta,this will be great. You're I
really want to start with this becauseI think this is so important. I
want the audience not just to gointo your four time Olympian and experience there
(02:44):
with the with the Olympics and trackand field, but tell us about your
upbringing, about how you were raised, because your work ethic is tremendous,
and so many other things. Butcan we get inside a little bit of
how you were brought up and whatlessons or teachings came across in the early
years. Sure, I was raisedby my father Joe Clark, and my
(03:05):
mother, Jeda Clark, and youdidn't mention that he is doctor Joe Clarks,
the subject of the movie Lean OnMe, and my mother was an
entrepreneur in the city of Newark beforethe nineteen sixty seven riots. I prefaced
that because my father became famous whenI was in college. However, the
early years he was just a blackguy raising kids in the city of Newark,
(03:28):
New Jersey. But one thing wasconsistent with the family values and family
direction was that who were going tolisten to our parents. We were going
to be receptive to whatever they said, and that we could do anything that
they said we could do that weput our minds too, and they would
provide a situation an atmosphere for usto be successful. So that is basically
(03:53):
how it happened back in those daysin the early sixties. We didn't talk
back to our parents, so whenthey said that we had to do something,
we just did that. And ourwork ethic came from both parents,
my father being in the army andmy mother just working art, being a
black woman working art, coming upfrom the South, and then came to
(04:15):
a point where she had her ownbusiness. You know, I love what
you said, you know, therespect for your parents and listening to them.
And the other thing is that theysaid, you know that kind of
environment, if you put your mindto something, you could do anything you
want to do. And I knowthat's a cliche and it said so many
times, and but but tell me, what did they do that made you
(04:35):
feel confident and have that self esteemwhich you talk about so much in your
seminars and speeches. Well, thefirst thing they did was they left by
example. So we saw our parentsgoing to work, We saw them having
good character, being Christians, Wesaw them really making a lot of sacrifices.
(04:58):
So we saw that and I wasn'tbrooded our spirit. We visually saw
it, we felt it, andwe knew that that was the way to
go. But one thing they didalso was that they provided the atmosphere of
the environment for us to succeed.And by that they didn't know what we
were going to do, but theyeliminated all of the excuses when it came
(05:20):
to school, we studied hard.If we needed help, we had tutoring.
When it came to athletics, wetrained hard. If we need to
help, we got some other coaching. When it came to playing basketball and
our dance with the alv and ElliDance Company, we had a ring lessons,
we had skating lessons. Whatever ittook for us to exceed in a
(05:41):
certain area, they made sure theyprovided the atmosphere for us to succeed.
You know. The beginning part ofthat. You said that they you know,
they practice what they tell you todo. They do lead by example.
And I remember an interesting I thinkit was a psychiatrist I forgot.
I interviewed her in early nineties,that's how long ago it was. But
she said a family came to herand said they had these problems. The
(06:03):
kids wouldn't study. But what happenedwas the father came home, lie down
in front of the TV and toldthe kids to study. So he wasn't
really emulating or doing what he wastelling the kids to do. And as
soon as they changed their environment wherethey were reading, they had a special
room where they would read and everybodywould sit down and the mom would pay
the bills. Maybe or and thenit became easier because they were doing what
(06:25):
they were telling me to do.That that's a huge thing that your parents.
You know, we didn't have excuses. We you know, if they
said to do something, we didit. We didn't talk back, we
didn't question. And now nowadays thekids made question more. But for what
we were doing, where we wereliving, and what we were trying to
aspire to, it wasn't something thatwe did. We didn't talk back,
(06:46):
we followed, we listened, andit was no nonsense. We had fun.
However, a lot of things,you know, my parents said was
you could have fun after you takecare of business. As though as I
I know, there the same thingapart. I like to have fun,
but there are certain things that haveto happen in my day before I have
the fun. Right, what doyou think today's environment is like and what
(07:11):
needs to be changed based upon theway you were raised? Well, I
think, you know, fairness,very it's hard to say that the things
that I went through and try tohave that set on for the kids today.
I think a lot of things werehappening in the sixties, race relations
just you know, you know,it's diversity and inclusion, now, it
(07:33):
wasn't called that back then, sothere were a lot of differences in the
life, in the culture of thecountry. But I do think the one
thing that I would like to remainconsistent with kids now is that parents were
not or our friends. When yourkids are a little you are the parents.
If you're not their buddy, you'renot their friends. You are their
(07:53):
parents. You're overseeing and you're guiding, and you're directing, and you're loving
and your caring. And I thinkthat milarity that piece need to be used
today. You know, I justheard what you said I and I get
so excited that I want to leadinto all the with the Olympics and your
training and the and the accomplishments there, but I want to stay for a
(08:13):
second at a young age, atthree years old, five years old,
and what you just said about notbeing I know people who they feel bad,
they you know, they they they'rethey're tied between. You know.
Let's say the mom wants to befriends and the father doesn't, or the
father wants to be friends and themom doesn't, and there's no really communication
and sometimes the kids can play thatback and forth, you know, so
(08:35):
it's a hard thing. How doyou tell a parent today to really stay
focused on that that kind of parentchild relationship with the discipline and the respect
without trying to be their buddy.I think that every family had their own
dynamics, but I think that asa parent, when I talk to the
(08:56):
parents and family, die often saythere's a respec factor. Not only do
the kids respect you, you respectthem, and once they feel a respect
factor, that takes over being afriend. If that makes sense, because
if you are just trying to betheir buddy and hanging out with them and
speaking their language, there is nodirection as though God has guided to no
(09:18):
example. But if they feel asthough you respect them as then and you're
asking them to respect you. Butby respecting them, the kids look at
that as a friend. So youare my friend because you're respecting me,
not having to step down to thelevel of doing things. Sort of respect
(09:39):
and friendship comes. You're respecting youryour child. Well said, and obviously
the tough part sometimes as a parentwhen they're that young, they don't realize
that, you know, later inlife it's going to pay back when they
do the hard work of the youknow, the parent child relationship versus giving
in, because once you give inlater on it's it's very difficult when they
(10:01):
start becoming ten and fifteen and teenagers. But I really love that. What
do you what do you think aresome of the keys that you know?
You know, eleven time USA Nationalchampion in ninety seven, they said you're
ranked fourth in the world at agethirty seven, and not to give away
your age anything, you definitely looka lot younger than you are. I'm
(10:22):
just amazed at what you've accomplished.What do you think that, um,
what are some of your core goals? I know there has a lot with
the P word from your book,but you can talk about that. But
but what are some of the keythings that really you focused on over the
years. I think over the years, I've you know, I've grown up
now. You're right, you know, being that I was born in sixty
(10:45):
two, you know how old Iam now. And even though I don't
look my age, thank you verymuch for the compliment. I do and
I have a lot of wisdom.So what I like to do is I
focus on my piece and I'll stillfocus on my ess My peas are what
is your purpose? To get prepared? You have to be patient, get
(11:05):
perturbed, you persevere and you pray. But along that you have to use
my essence and these are the essencethat I think families need to use to
make sure that their kids and Ican't say would be successful, but you
are providing a tapestry for them tomaximize their skill sets to be the best
that they could be. And that'smy four essence. You have to have
(11:28):
a strategy, you have to havea skill set, you have to have
staying power, and then you haveto also have support. And I think
if when parents of be you usethose essence we can be. You know,
it helps us without kids. Havea strategy, have staying power,
(11:48):
you know your skills set, andthen have support. You know, I
love that, And I'm going tofocus on two right now. And you
know the show is called in Searchof the Magic Tree, and you know
everybody wonders what's the magic tree,what's the magic Well, it's you know,
you have an amazing tree. Whenyou talk about roots and foundation and
the branches from your parents to you, to your children, to your child,
your daughter, um and your andyour siblings. I want to focus
(12:11):
first on staying power and I andI relate that to in the book and
you'll get a copy of Sherman.The Turtle is all about determination. You
know, it's one of the keyfactors for reaching the magic tree. But
determination comes in all different you knowways. What is staying power to you?
What are some of the things thenpeople get discouraged and what gets rid
(12:33):
of determination? Obstacles, defeat,failure, lack of confidence, you know.
So, so what are some ofthe things that you talk about that
are important for staying power? Poweris important and the main thing with the
stam power is knowing your purpose andyour your pope doesn't change for the situation
(12:54):
and your pope. It's the onething that allows you to never quit.
So when we're talking about staying power, we're talking about understanding and realizing your
purpose and then and then and thenyour why. Your hy has to be
bigger than your why not. Sowhen you when you have stay in power,
you have a purpose. And becauseyou have a purpose, you have
(13:15):
a why, and the why hasto be bigger than the why not.
And then when you're raising kids,you have to know your purpose. And
I don't know what people's purpose isoffer their family, but I know what
mine is. Until you have apurpose, and then your stay in power.
When they don't listen, when they'rewhen they're when they're doing well,
whatever it is, you can't putthe towel in on them, and you
(13:35):
can't put the tower in on youryour plan for the family, for the
child. I would like to knowdo you think that what I'm going to
just name a few things, andI want you to tell me what you
think is the most important. Youknow, when you talk about confidence for
kids, confidence, Uh, thenthere's determination, then there's attitude, and
(13:58):
courage. Out of those four,I'm just curious what your thoughts are confidence,
determination, attitude, and courage.Well that's a tough one there.
But if I had to pick oneof these out, I'm gonna go with
the attitude. The attitude because andI'm going to back into it. Or
(14:20):
if you have courage, if you'restealings, that that's good. But if
you're stealings and your attitude is anattitude, I don't care, nothing matters,
I'm the great one or whatever.If you have the attitude, that's
not that's not beneficial, that's notproductive. That's kind of productive. If
you have a great attitude, ifyou are a visionary, then you're determined,
(14:46):
but determination you could be determined todo something that's not productive for your
growth. You see. So I'mdetermined to have behaviors that are not going
to get me to good places oflife, but you're determined to do that.
But that's not where you your energiesto go into that. So out
of all of those, I'm goingto go with attitude because your attitude allows
(15:09):
allows you to fly and when youhave a proper attitude, no one could
clip your wings. I love thatand Joe out of that. Believe it
or not, there was a studyat Harvard Business School Harvard University that looked
at the key success factors, fourof them, of executives. They did
all this huge study and it's documentedwhere they got all these things back,
(15:31):
and it had to do with fourkey factors. It had to do with
experience, knowledge, intelligence, andattitude, and all four were rated,
and believe it or not, attitudewas ninety seven percent. The other three
were SA you know, excuse me. It was ninety three percent attitude and
seven percent the rest. So you'reright on the money because you know that
that makes a lot of sense,and you know, talking about attitude,
(15:54):
how you have a great one andyou're always positive every time I talk to
you, and your less too.I think that's important. People don't understand
tenacity how critical that is when youget you know, rejections or nose or
whatever, when you're trying to dosomething big. How have you instilled that
in your daughter? Who is anacademic All American and track and Field to
(16:15):
All American champion student athlete at Universityof Florida, and she's been accomplishing some
tremendous things. What do you attributethat success to and how you raised her?
I'm just wanted to hear about that. Oh boy, you know,
I think that with her, andI think parents, especially when you have
(16:36):
a child that you see as somethingspecially. We all to think our kids
have special traits and characteristics, butthat it's some of the kids. Some
people just have that it And whenyou see that in your child, you
have to kind of gravitate toward itand nurture it. So that's what I
was able to do, was Talidaable to nurture her and her It was
(16:59):
her ability to listen, her abilityto absorb, and everything I taught her
as a youngster was that. Butthe key thing here was I allowed her
to have her own personality. AndI think all of them parents want their
children to follow them and be likethem. As great as we think we
are, they are have their ownidentities. And I allowed her to be
(17:25):
her stelf. And when it cameto track and field, she wanted to
do the sprints. I did theeight hundred, she runs the four hundred
and the two hundred. When itcame to academic, you know, she's
very intelligent, very smart, andshe does really well in her course studies,
(17:45):
and I allowed her to study theway that she wanted to study,
because when I grew up, wecouldn't study with a pbon and have all
this noise. But these kids areable to have the noise. So as
long as she was able to doother school to get the grades that would
would be commitment with her knowledge base, then she could keep the TV on.
(18:06):
I couldn't say no TV on orwhatever did there no music or whatever
that works for me didn't work forherself. I think allow her to be
herself and having her own personality,it would allow her to thrive in supports
and in school. Yeah that's wellsaid, you know, and it's talitha
right, you pronounced talitha. Yeah. Yeah. So is there something you
(18:30):
did do you remember when she wasreally young, like three or four or
two or whatever. I mean,when do you remember anything that you did
that? Because I do believe youknow, I keep saying this. It
just blows my mind that a neuroscientistsaid to me that you can learn five
six languages by the age of five, the plasticity of the brain. It
keeps coming back to me that,you know, I wish I did more.
(18:52):
I did more because of that.But you don't realize what a diamond
and the rough you have. Anddo you remember any of the activities you
did that really fostered what she's become. I do, I remember all of
them. One thing that I didwith her um um and I talked her
bouts all the time. When shelittle, I sat down and I read
(19:12):
with her and I let her readwith me. Um. I always told
her where she could, that shecould accomplish anything that she wanted to do.
I spoke positive things into her herexistence. I had her on the
schedule as a little as a youngster. You know, she got up,
we got dressed, we did ourhome or this is a little because I
(19:33):
was homeschooling us. So we didan assignment. Um, we ate,
We sat at the table, weate. I see a lot of kids,
uh when they're eating parish walking behindthem with the spoon, trying to
feed them. You know. Shestepped down at the table. We said
our grace, We got up,she held with the dishes, she did
steading. We went, We wentaway on trips, we pointed out a
(19:56):
different historical site. So we exposedto so much. But as schedule,
we put up with chee at anaptime. In schedules are I'm portical now
because she's in college and she's onher own. She gets up, scars
the schedule. He has to youknow, it's you know, uh do
do or get ready to school?Try and drive into school, allowing us
(20:18):
time for class. So a scheduleis so important for kids when they're very
young. They just can't let themdo whatever they want Monday. They're doing
this too, that they're doing thatwhen they say, get a structure,
get a schedule, because it alsoallows you to get a routine and so
that you're not exhausted all the timebecause the kids running the house over their
schedule. I don't want to goto sleep. Well, they know that
(20:41):
when you go in your room,you may not go to sleep, but
you're gonna be. This is yourdowntime. So you could read the book,
you could draw, you could towatch the TV. Not much,
We didn't do much TV. Theywith the TV in the room, and
she don't have a stood amount oftime when she could watch TV. But
you know, I think that thatallowed her to explore other things. She
was an only child, so herimagination ran a while and that was really
(21:02):
good. But yes, a schedule, that was the main thing that I
did. But I was just thinking, my wife would love you for that.
Man, she's a schedule freak,whether it's my kids, my dogs,
you know. So that is somethingthat helps get structure right away early.
But I think more than that,what you were talking about with reading
and the time you spent with herand saying grace and eating and spending the
(21:27):
time where hopefully maybe the phones wereaway and you know you have time together
like that, and taking her places. That's all great, amazing stuff that
I think. You know, there'sa lesson I learned from this lady who
teaches kids with speech impediments at anearly age. She said, you need
to have fifteen minutes a day,fifteen minutes no phone, no electronics,
(21:49):
nothing with your child, and itshows that you feel they're important. You
know that you're not jumping to yourphone doing this. And I think what
you just said they had a lotto do with that. I think you
need more than fifteen minutes, butthat's the start. It seeds you to
do that, right. No,No, that's what she's a minimum minimum.
Right. Yes, Joe, hadanything you'd like to share with the
(22:11):
listeners. You know about your parents? You know obviously your father had you
know, I saw the movie.It was an amazing you know, Morgan
Freeman playing the part. And anythingabout your your younger sister and brother,
anything about the family unit that you'dlike to share that helped attribute to your
success. I think one thing toothat I parent talked about a lot was
(22:32):
being able to support one another.And we were each other's biggest fans fans,
and so when we were together,when we were at meat or when
we were away on vacation, wesupported each other's dreams and aspilations. And
they were big on that family connectivitythat the family, the family values the
(22:56):
family more was the family beliefs theywere more important and your friends, and
that you may run into family matterand family's first. So that is how
we were raising my father's Like Isaid, it was no nonsense. So
it would either my way or thehighway. They always said rule one,
I'm always right. Rule two.See rule number one, I'm always right.
(23:18):
So that is part ow it wasright. I think now I have
a rule one. Rue one isI'm always right, but my rule two
will probably be I will listen toyou to see why you think I'm all.
But that's a that's a twenty twentytwo vision, not a nineteen sixty
two vision. This has been tremendous, Jordan. I know I went over
(23:41):
a little time here, but everytime I have you on a program,
you have so much tremendous info andpractical ideas that make a lot of sense.
I know the listeners out there,I just want to say something you
didn't mention about speaking or anything likesometimes I've guessed that's all they talk about.
Well, you know when I'm speakingand I do my lecture. But
if you understand, she has thecontent, she amazes audiences, people love
(24:03):
her, and you walk away withpractical applications that you can put to use
right away, as you can seejust from the insights here for parenting.
And I want to ask you thislast question. You know, I want
to give you two things to answer. Obviously, I want to hear more.
You're an entrepreneur, you know healthand wellness, a specialist, and
you do so many things if youknow. First I'd like to hear about
(24:27):
any updates on what you're doing.And then I want to ask you one
final question. Okay, well,thank you very much. We are always
trying to be relevant and so tobe relevant right now, I have a
podcast called to Be Extra NV podcastand that can be found on my website
which is Joe at A Sports andBeyond dot com. And I also have
(24:52):
a fitness at that's coming out calledJoe Time Fitness and it's made to help
anyone that wants to have about twentyminutes this UM and different different levels begin
an intermediate in the Van, JoeTimes, Jo t Y and E Fitness.
So those are some big things.And then speaking is always something that
I do. Corporate groups, collegiategroups, um UM Diversity and Inclusion and
(25:17):
women groups, anyone that wants tohear or how to be motivated, how
to be inspired, knows some tipsor how to be successful, how to
achieve your goals, and how todeal with complex situations and being derailed at
times and being reinventing yourself. Ifyou want that kind of information, then
visit the website and have me comein to help you navigate through that.
(25:40):
See the website one more time,Jota, the website is Joe at A
Joe Tta, Joe at a sportsASP or rts at yahoo dot com or
Barry. Like you said at thebeginning, just put Joe Atta in Google
my name and everything comes up rightlike mcdonnaugh, Oprah magic. You got
it. One name. I loveit, Joe Da love it. It's
(26:00):
a great name. And I wantto ask the last question. I've asked
you before, but sometimes these thingschange, and I want to know today
you know you have you have anamazing child or family. What is your
definition of success? Very over theyears it has changed, but if I
can just say it and this onesentence, my definition of success is that
(26:26):
at the end of the day,when you look in the mirror and you
can say job well done, thenthat's success. Is that about the money
the cause. The education is aboutlooking in the mirror and saying job well
done, because at the end ofthe day, you can fool the whole
world down the paths of life andget passed on the back as you pass,
(26:48):
but your true reward will be heardit in pain if you trick the
person in the glass. So whenyou look in the mirror and it's no
trickery, you can say job welldone. That to me. Success Joetta.
That was a great one. Ilove it and thank you. Thanks
a million for coming on the programagain. I know how busy you are.
I appreciate it. Really good stuff, Joetta, thank you again.
(27:10):
This is Barry Farber in search ofthe Magic Tree. Never stopped the search.
Hi, I'm Barrie Farber, andthis is in search of the magic tree.
What magic are we looking for?Well, if you think about a
tree, several things come to mind. One the roots, the foundation for
(00:26):
something great. Two the branches representingthe connection and continuation of our legacy as
we pass down the values and beliefsto the next generation. And three potential,
something that starts as small as anacorn and becomes a giant oak.
We're going to explore how we canbuild the mind, body, and spirits
(00:49):
of our children. How to raiseour kids with key traits like patients,
positive attitudes, courage, empathy,determination, and more. Join me on
this adventure as we talk to celebrities, athletes, entertainers, business leaders,
educators, brain surgeons, and moreabout the magic to building success at an
(01:11):
early age. And we have JoeEdta. That's all I'll need to say
is Joe Edta. You know whoshe is. She's a world class athlete
with a work ethic second to none. She was inducted into the Hall of
Fame in two thousand and nine,ranked top ten in the world nine times,
(01:34):
fifteen time All American, eleven timeUSA National champion, nineteen ninety seven,
at age thirty seven, ranked numberfour in the world, and she
is a track and field expert.I want to tell you something interesting about
this show is that we're going totake a look at not just Joetta's upbringing
for father, who is Joe Clarkthey made the movie from Lena me played
(01:57):
by Morgan Freeman, but her youngersister, her sister in law, her
brother who's her coach, her daughterwho is an All American. We're going
to get to her in a moment, but she is surrounded by milieu of
unbelievable foundations for success in the fieldshe's in and for life. So Joetta,
thanks for coming on. Thank youBarry for having me on. I'm
(02:20):
excited to hear more about this interviewmyself kick up with a good thank you,
Sit back and enjoy, Joetta,this will be great. You're I
really want to start with this becauseI think this is so important. I
want the audience not just to gointo your four time Olympian and experience there
(02:44):
with the with the Olympics and trackand field, but tell us about your
upbringing, about how you were raised, because your work ethic is tremendous,
and so many other things. Butcan we get inside a little bit of
how you were brought up and whatlessons or teachings came across in the early
years. Sure, I was raisedby my father Joe Clark, and my
(03:05):
mother, Jeda Clark, and youdidn't mention that he is doctor Joe Clarks,
the subject of the movie Lean OnMe, and my mother was an
entrepreneur in the city of Newark beforethe nineteen sixty seven riots. I prefaced
that because my father became famous whenI was in college. However, the
early years he was just a blackguy raising kids in the city of Newark,
(03:28):
New Jersey. But one thing wasconsistent with the family values and family
direction was that who were going tolisten to our parents. We were going
to be receptive to whatever they said, and that we could do anything that
they said we could do that weput our minds too, and they would
provide a situation an atmosphere for usto be successful. So that is basically
(03:53):
how it happened back in those daysin the early sixties. We didn't talk
back to our parents, so whenthey said that we had to do something,
we just did that. And ourwork ethic came from both parents,
my father being in the army andmy mother just working art, being a
black woman working art, coming upfrom the South, and then came to
(04:15):
a point where she had her ownbusiness. You know, I love what
you said, you know, therespect for your parents and listening to them.
And the other thing is that theysaid, you know that kind of
environment, if you put your mindto something, you could do anything you
want to do. And I knowthat's a cliche and it said so many
times, and but but tell me, what did they do that made you
(04:35):
feel confident and have that self esteemwhich you talk about so much in your
seminars and speeches. Well, thefirst thing they did was they left by
example. So we saw our parentsgoing to work, We saw them having
good character, being Christians, Wesaw them really making a lot of sacrifices.
(04:58):
So we saw that and I wasn'tbrooded our spirit. We visually saw
it, we felt it, andwe knew that that was the way to
go. But one thing they didalso was that they provided the atmosphere of
the environment for us to succeed.And by that they didn't know what we
were going to do, but theyeliminated all of the excuses when it came
(05:20):
to school, we studied hard.If we needed help, we had tutoring.
When it came to athletics, wetrained hard. If we need to
help, we got some other coaching. When it came to playing basketball and
our dance with the alv and ElliDance Company, we had a ring lessons,
we had skating lessons. Whatever ittook for us to exceed in a
(05:41):
certain area, they made sure theyprovided the atmosphere for us to succeed.
You know. The beginning part ofthat. You said that they you know,
they practice what they tell you todo. They do lead by example.
And I remember an interesting I thinkit was a psychiatrist I forgot.
I interviewed her in early nineties,that's how long ago it was. But
she said a family came to herand said they had these problems. The
(06:03):
kids wouldn't study. But what happenedwas the father came home, lie down
in front of the TV and toldthe kids to study. So he wasn't
really emulating or doing what he wastelling the kids to do. And as
soon as they changed their environment wherethey were reading, they had a special
room where they would read and everybodywould sit down and the mom would pay
the bills. Maybe or and thenit became easier because they were doing what
(06:25):
they were telling me to do.That that's a huge thing that your parents.
You know, we didn't have excuses. We you know, if they
said to do something, we didit. We didn't talk back, we
didn't question. And now nowadays thekids made question more. But for what
we were doing, where we wereliving, and what we were trying to
aspire to, it wasn't something thatwe did. We didn't talk back,
(06:46):
we followed, we listened, andit was no nonsense. We had fun.
However, a lot of things,you know, my parents said was
you could have fun after you takecare of business. As though as I
I know, there the same thingapart. I like to have fun,
but there are certain things that haveto happen in my day before I have
the fun. Right, what doyou think today's environment is like and what
(07:11):
needs to be changed based upon theway you were raised? Well, I
think, you know, fairness,very it's hard to say that the things
that I went through and try tohave that set on for the kids today.
I think a lot of things werehappening in the sixties, race relations
just you know, you know,it's diversity and inclusion, now, it
(07:33):
wasn't called that back then, sothere were a lot of differences in the
life, in the culture of thecountry. But I do think the one
thing that I would like to remainconsistent with kids now is that parents were
not or our friends. When yourkids are a little you are the parents.
If you're not their buddy, you'renot their friends. You are their
(07:53):
parents. You're overseeing and you're guiding, and you're directing, and you're loving
and your caring. And I thinkthat milarity that piece need to be used
today. You know, I justheard what you said I and I get
so excited that I want to leadinto all the with the Olympics and your
training and the and the accomplishments there, but I want to stay for a
(08:13):
second at a young age, atthree years old, five years old,
and what you just said about notbeing I know people who they feel bad,
they you know, they they they'rethey're tied between. You know.
Let's say the mom wants to befriends and the father doesn't, or the
father wants to be friends and themom doesn't, and there's no really communication
and sometimes the kids can play thatback and forth, you know, so
(08:35):
it's a hard thing. How doyou tell a parent today to really stay
focused on that that kind of parentchild relationship with the discipline and the respect
without trying to be their buddy.I think that every family had their own
dynamics, but I think that asa parent, when I talk to the
(08:56):
parents and family, die often saythere's a respec factor. Not only do
the kids respect you, you respectthem, and once they feel a respect
factor, that takes over being afriend. If that makes sense, because
if you are just trying to betheir buddy and hanging out with them and
speaking their language, there is nodirection as though God has guided to no
(09:18):
example. But if they feel asthough you respect them as then and you're
asking them to respect you. Butby respecting them, the kids look at
that as a friend. So youare my friend because you're respecting me,
not having to step down to thelevel of doing things. Sort of respect
(09:39):
and friendship comes. You're respecting youryour child. Well said, and obviously
the tough part sometimes as a parentwhen they're that young, they don't realize
that, you know, later inlife it's going to pay back when they
do the hard work of the youknow, the parent child relationship versus giving
in, because once you give inlater on it's it's very difficult when they
(10:01):
start becoming ten and fifteen and teenagers. But I really love that. What
do you what do you think aresome of the keys that you know?
You know, eleven time USA Nationalchampion in ninety seven, they said you're
ranked fourth in the world at agethirty seven, and not to give away
your age anything, you definitely looka lot younger than you are. I'm
(10:22):
just amazed at what you've accomplished.What do you think that, um,
what are some of your core goals? I know there has a lot with
the P word from your book,but you can talk about that. But
but what are some of the keythings that really you focused on over the
years. I think over the years, I've you know, I've grown up
now. You're right, you know, being that I was born in sixty
(10:45):
two, you know how old Iam now. And even though I don't
look my age, thank you verymuch for the compliment. I do and
I have a lot of wisdom.So what I like to do is I
focus on my piece and I'll stillfocus on my ess My peas are what
is your purpose? To get prepared? You have to be patient, get
(11:05):
perturbed, you persevere and you pray. But along that you have to use
my essence and these are the essencethat I think families need to use to
make sure that their kids and Ican't say would be successful, but you
are providing a tapestry for them tomaximize their skill sets to be the best
that they could be. And that'smy four essence. You have to have
(11:28):
a strategy, you have to havea skill set, you have to have
staying power, and then you haveto also have support. And I think
if when parents of be you usethose essence we can be. You know,
it helps us without kids. Havea strategy, have staying power,
(11:48):
you know your skills set, andthen have support. You know, I
love that, And I'm going tofocus on two right now. And you
know the show is called in Searchof the Magic Tree, and you know
everybody wonders what's the magic tree,what's the magic Well, it's you know,
you have an amazing tree. Whenyou talk about roots and foundation and
the branches from your parents to you, to your children, to your child,
your daughter, um and your andyour siblings. I want to focus
(12:11):
first on staying power and I andI relate that to in the book and
you'll get a copy of Sherman.The Turtle is all about determination. You
know, it's one of the keyfactors for reaching the magic tree. But
determination comes in all different you knowways. What is staying power to you?
What are some of the things thenpeople get discouraged and what gets rid
(12:33):
of determination? Obstacles, defeat,failure, lack of confidence, you know.
So, so what are some ofthe things that you talk about that
are important for staying power? Poweris important and the main thing with the
stam power is knowing your purpose andyour your pope doesn't change for the situation
(12:54):
and your pope. It's the onething that allows you to never quit.
So when we're talking about staying power, we're talking about understanding and realizing your
purpose and then and then and thenyour why. Your hy has to be
bigger than your why not. Sowhen you when you have stay in power,
you have a purpose. And becauseyou have a purpose, you have
(13:15):
a why, and the why hasto be bigger than the why not.
And then when you're raising kids,you have to know your purpose. And
I don't know what people's purpose isoffer their family, but I know what
mine is. Until you have apurpose, and then your stay in power.
When they don't listen, when they'rewhen they're when they're doing well,
whatever it is, you can't putthe towel in on them, and you
(13:35):
can't put the tower in on youryour plan for the family, for the
child. I would like to knowdo you think that what I'm going to
just name a few things, andI want you to tell me what you
think is the most important. Youknow, when you talk about confidence for
kids, confidence, Uh, thenthere's determination, then there's attitude, and
(13:58):
courage. Out of those four,I'm just curious what your thoughts are confidence,
determination, attitude, and courage.Well that's a tough one there.
But if I had to pick oneof these out, I'm gonna go with
the attitude. The attitude because andI'm going to back into it. Or
(14:20):
if you have courage, if you'restealings, that that's good. But if
you're stealings and your attitude is anattitude, I don't care, nothing matters,
I'm the great one or whatever.If you have the attitude, that's
not that's not beneficial, that's notproductive. That's kind of productive. If
you have a great attitude, ifyou are a visionary, then you're determined,
(14:46):
but determination you could be determined todo something that's not productive for your
growth. You see. So I'mdetermined to have behaviors that are not going
to get me to good places oflife, but you're determined to do that.
But that's not where you your energiesto go into that. So out
of all of those, I'm goingto go with attitude because your attitude allows
(15:09):
allows you to fly and when youhave a proper attitude, no one could
clip your wings. I love thatand Joe out of that. Believe it
or not, there was a studyat Harvard Business School Harvard University that looked
at the key success factors, fourof them, of executives. They did
all this huge study and it's documentedwhere they got all these things back,
(15:31):
and it had to do with fourkey factors. It had to do with
experience, knowledge, intelligence, andattitude, and all four were rated,
and believe it or not, attitudewas ninety seven percent. The other three
were SA you know, excuse me. It was ninety three percent attitude and
seven percent the rest. So you'reright on the money because you know that
that makes a lot of sense,and you know, talking about attitude,
(15:54):
how you have a great one andyou're always positive every time I talk to
you, and your less too.I think that's important. People don't understand
tenacity how critical that is when youget you know, rejections or nose or
whatever, when you're trying to dosomething big. How have you instilled that
in your daughter? Who is anacademic All American and track and Field to
(16:15):
All American champion student athlete at Universityof Florida, and she's been accomplishing some
tremendous things. What do you attributethat success to and how you raised her?
I'm just wanted to hear about that. Oh boy, you know,
I think that with her, andI think parents, especially when you have
(16:36):
a child that you see as somethingspecially. We all to think our kids
have special traits and characteristics, butthat it's some of the kids. Some
people just have that it And whenyou see that in your child, you
have to kind of gravitate toward itand nurture it. So that's what I
was able to do, was Talidaable to nurture her and her It was
(16:59):
her ability to listen, her abilityto absorb, and everything I taught her
as a youngster was that. Butthe key thing here was I allowed her
to have her own personality. AndI think all of them parents want their
children to follow them and be likethem. As great as we think we
are, they are have their ownidentities. And I allowed her to be
(17:25):
her stelf. And when it cameto track and field, she wanted to
do the sprints. I did theeight hundred, she runs the four hundred
and the two hundred. When itcame to academic, you know, she's
very intelligent, very smart, andshe does really well in her course studies,
(17:45):
and I allowed her to study theway that she wanted to study,
because when I grew up, wecouldn't study with a pbon and have all
this noise. But these kids areable to have the noise. So as
long as she was able to doother school to get the grades that would
would be commitment with her knowledge base, then she could keep the TV on.
(18:06):
I couldn't say no TV on orwhatever did there no music or whatever
that works for me didn't work forherself. I think allow her to be
herself and having her own personality,it would allow her to thrive in supports
and in school. Yeah that's wellsaid, you know, and it's talitha
right, you pronounced talitha. Yeah. Yeah. So is there something you
(18:30):
did do you remember when she wasreally young, like three or four or
two or whatever. I mean,when do you remember anything that you did
that? Because I do believe youknow, I keep saying this. It
just blows my mind that a neuroscientistsaid to me that you can learn five
six languages by the age of five, the plasticity of the brain. It
keeps coming back to me that,you know, I wish I did more.
(18:52):
I did more because of that.But you don't realize what a diamond
and the rough you have. Anddo you remember any of the activities you
did that really fostered what she's become. I do, I remember all of
them. One thing that I didwith her um um and I talked her
bouts all the time. When shelittle, I sat down and I read
(19:12):
with her and I let her readwith me. Um. I always told
her where she could, that shecould accomplish anything that she wanted to do.
I spoke positive things into her herexistence. I had her on the
schedule as a little as a youngster. You know, she got up,
we got dressed, we did ourhome or this is a little because I
(19:33):
was homeschooling us. So we didan assignment. Um, we ate,
We sat at the table, weate. I see a lot of kids,
uh when they're eating parish walking behindthem with the spoon, trying to
feed them. You know. Shestepped down at the table. We said
our grace, We got up,she held with the dishes, she did
steading. We went, We wentaway on trips, we pointed out a
(19:56):
different historical site. So we exposedto so much. But as schedule,
we put up with chee at anaptime. In schedules are I'm portical now
because she's in college and she's onher own. She gets up, scars
the schedule. He has to youknow, it's you know, uh do
do or get ready to school?Try and drive into school, allowing us
(20:18):
time for class. So a scheduleis so important for kids when they're very
young. They just can't let themdo whatever they want Monday. They're doing
this too, that they're doing thatwhen they say, get a structure,
get a schedule, because it alsoallows you to get a routine and so
that you're not exhausted all the timebecause the kids running the house over their
schedule. I don't want to goto sleep. Well, they know that
(20:41):
when you go in your room,you may not go to sleep, but
you're gonna be. This is yourdowntime. So you could read the book,
you could draw, you could towatch the TV. Not much,
We didn't do much TV. Theywith the TV in the room, and
she don't have a stood amount oftime when she could watch TV. But
you know, I think that thatallowed her to explore other things. She
was an only child, so herimagination ran a while and that was really
(21:02):
good. But yes, a schedule, that was the main thing that I
did. But I was just thinking, my wife would love you for that.
Man, she's a schedule freak,whether it's my kids, my dogs,
you know. So that is somethingthat helps get structure right away early.
But I think more than that,what you were talking about with reading
and the time you spent with herand saying grace and eating and spending the
(21:27):
time where hopefully maybe the phones wereaway and you know you have time together
like that, and taking her places. That's all great, amazing stuff that
I think. You know, there'sa lesson I learned from this lady who
teaches kids with speech impediments at anearly age. She said, you need
to have fifteen minutes a day,fifteen minutes no phone, no electronics,
(21:49):
nothing with your child, and itshows that you feel they're important. You
know that you're not jumping to yourphone doing this. And I think what
you just said they had a lotto do with that. I think you
need more than fifteen minutes, butthat's the start. It seeds you to
do that, right. No,No, that's what she's a minimum minimum.
Right. Yes, Joe, hadanything you'd like to share with the
(22:11):
listeners. You know about your parents? You know obviously your father had you
know, I saw the movie.It was an amazing you know, Morgan
Freeman playing the part. And anythingabout your your younger sister and brother,
anything about the family unit that you'dlike to share that helped attribute to your
success. I think one thing toothat I parent talked about a lot was
(22:32):
being able to support one another.And we were each other's biggest fans fans,
and so when we were together,when we were at meat or when
we were away on vacation, wesupported each other's dreams and aspilations. And
they were big on that family connectivitythat the family, the family values the
(22:56):
family more was the family beliefs theywere more important and your friends, and
that you may run into family matterand family's first. So that is how
we were raising my father's Like Isaid, it was no nonsense. So
it would either my way or thehighway. They always said rule one,
I'm always right. Rule two.See rule number one, I'm always right.
(23:18):
So that is part ow it wasright. I think now I have
a rule one. Rue one isI'm always right, but my rule two
will probably be I will listen toyou to see why you think I'm all.
But that's a that's a twenty twentytwo vision, not a nineteen sixty
two vision. This has been tremendous, Jordan. I know I went over
(23:41):
a little time here, but everytime I have you on a program,
you have so much tremendous info andpractical ideas that make a lot of sense.
I know the listeners out there,I just want to say something you
didn't mention about speaking or anything likesometimes I've guessed that's all they talk about.
Well, you know when I'm speakingand I do my lecture. But
if you understand, she has thecontent, she amazes audiences, people love
(24:03):
her, and you walk away withpractical applications that you can put to use
right away, as you can seejust from the insights here for parenting.
And I want to ask you thislast question. You know, I want
to give you two things to answer. Obviously, I want to hear more.
You're an entrepreneur, you know healthand wellness, a specialist, and
you do so many things if youknow. First I'd like to hear about
(24:27):
any updates on what you're doing.And then I want to ask you one
final question. Okay, well,thank you very much. We are always
trying to be relevant and so tobe relevant right now, I have a
podcast called to Be Extra NV podcastand that can be found on my website
which is Joe at A Sports andBeyond dot com. And I also have
(24:52):
a fitness at that's coming out calledJoe Time Fitness and it's made to help
anyone that wants to have about twentyminutes this UM and different different levels begin
an intermediate in the Van, JoeTimes, Jo t Y and E Fitness.
So those are some big things.And then speaking is always something that
I do. Corporate groups, collegiategroups, um UM Diversity and Inclusion and
(25:17):
women groups, anyone that wants tohear or how to be motivated, how
to be inspired, knows some tipsor how to be successful, how to
achieve your goals, and how todeal with complex situations and being derailed at
times and being reinventing yourself. Ifyou want that kind of information, then
visit the website and have me comein to help you navigate through that.
(25:40):
See the website one more time,Jota, the website is Joe at A
Joe Tta, Joe at a sportsASP or rts at yahoo dot com or
Barry. Like you said at thebeginning, just put Joe Atta in Google
my name and everything comes up rightlike mcdonnaugh, Oprah magic. You got
it. One name. I loveit, Joe Da love it. It's
(26:00):
a great name. And I wantto ask the last question. I've asked
you before, but sometimes these thingschange, and I want to know today
you know you have you have anamazing child or family. What is your
definition of success? Very over theyears it has changed, but if I
can just say it and this onesentence, my definition of success is that
(26:26):
at the end of the day,when you look in the mirror and you
can say job well done, thenthat's success. Is that about the money
the cause. The education is aboutlooking in the mirror and saying job well
done, because at the end ofthe day, you can fool the whole
world down the paths of life andget passed on the back as you pass,
(26:48):
but your true reward will be heardit in pain if you trick the
person in the glass. So whenyou look in the mirror and it's no
trickery, you can say job welldone. That to me. Success Joetta.
That was a great one. Ilove it and thank you. Thanks
a million for coming on the programagain. I know how busy you are.
I appreciate it. Really good stuff, Joetta, thank you again.
(27:10):
This is Barry Farber in search ofthe Magic Tree. Never stopped the search.
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