Earning a Middle Aged Woman Badge

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In this story, what it takes to earn a “Middle Aged Woman” badge. I’m Joanne Greene.
Back in the early to mid 60’s I was a Bluebird and then, a Campfire Girl. We wore cute little red vests adorned with badges that our moms sewed onto the sides after we completed various challenges. If I’d been in charge, we’d have sewed those badges on ourselves – to get a sewing badge, of course. I vaguely recall sewing badges onto my son’s boy scout shirt but, since I hadn’t practiced in an effort to earn that badge, I kept sticking myself.
What if there were a badge one could earn for being a full-fledged “Middle Aged Woman”? An ideal Middle Aged Woman, that is, one who does and says all the right things and knows when to keep her mouth shut. Currently, girl scouts can receive badges for being caring and considerate (at home, at school, and with friends)…for respecting oneself and others (difficult to measure, of course)…and for using resources wisely (reducing use, reusing materials, and recycling).
Arriving at middle age, as a woman, probably means that you still send hand-written thank you notes, that you moisturize, that you take it upon yourself to ensure that everyone around you is happy or at least not in pain at all times, that you’ve learned to pick your battles at home and at work, that you strategically let things slide, that you take the blame when you make a mistake and don’t point fingers when someone else messes up.
But I would submit that there are other defining criteria. I, for instance, would like to get credit for making sure that the refrigerator contains food that every family member would enjoy, for feeling obligated to take on a volunteer role at the school, church, synagogue, sports team or at least go somewhat overboard when it’s my turn to bring snack. A middle aged woman is on the cusp of caring less what others think. Have I shared with you the graph of age & (pardon the expression) “give a shit”? The older a woman gets, the less she feels the need to impress. But we’re not talking about older women. Not yet, anyway.

Middle aged women dress in layers because too cold is often followed by too hot. We might color our hair, wear make-up, or get Botox injections and, then again, we might opt for a daily yoga pants and stained sweatshirt look with a baseball cap or a beanie in winter. The point is middle aged women get to decide. And, these days, as some of our basic rights are being threatened, it’s the all the more important to make wise choices. To stand up for what we believe in. To defend the rights of others. I, of course, am no longer middle aged but, in truth, I care more than ever and I don’t need no stinkin’ badges to prove it.