September 5, 2025 • 15 mins
Hey my lilies 🌺,
This episode is one of the heaviest and most personal I’ve ever shared. In August 2015, I lost my baby cousin Jordan to gun violence, and in September 2023, my older cousin Redrick was taken from us through jail violence. Two different paths, two different stories, but both lives stolen too soon.
In this episode, I honor their memories while reflecting on the reality our young men face every day — wrong place, wrong time, systemic traps, and the lack of mentorship that could have guided them to a better outcome. Through clips from Coach Carter and Antwone Fisher, I connect their stories to broader truths about the struggles and choices our youth face, and the urgency of stepping in before it’s too late.
This isn’t just about loss — it’s about love, legacy, and lifting up the next generation. Jordan and Redrick now stand as angels in my life, and through this episode, I pray their stories help inspire change, healing, and action.
🎧 Tune in now and let’s walk through this reflection together.
ILilyink.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ink-impact-podcast--6678694/support.
This episode is one of the heaviest and most personal I’ve ever shared. In August 2015, I lost my baby cousin Jordan to gun violence, and in September 2023, my older cousin Redrick was taken from us through jail violence. Two different paths, two different stories, but both lives stolen too soon.
In this episode, I honor their memories while reflecting on the reality our young men face every day — wrong place, wrong time, systemic traps, and the lack of mentorship that could have guided them to a better outcome. Through clips from Coach Carter and Antwone Fisher, I connect their stories to broader truths about the struggles and choices our youth face, and the urgency of stepping in before it’s too late.
This isn’t just about loss — it’s about love, legacy, and lifting up the next generation. Jordan and Redrick now stand as angels in my life, and through this episode, I pray their stories help inspire change, healing, and action.
🎧 Tune in now and let’s walk through this reflection together.
ILilyink.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/ink-impact-podcast--6678694/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
In August two thousand fifteen, and again in September of
two thousand twenty three. My family experienced losses that changed
us forever. I lost my baby cousin, Jordan, taken by
gun violence while sitting in a car. Wrong place, wrong time,
(00:29):
wrong moment. His life was stolen before he even had
the chance to truly live. Then I lost my older cousin, Frederick,
his life ended inside a correctional facility, taken by jail violence,
(00:51):
only months away from his release. He had spent most
of his adults hood behind bars. When his life ended,
he had no family beside him, no comfort of knowing
he was loved. Both deaths were preventable. Both reflect moments
(01:21):
where guidance, mentorship, and intervention might have changed the outcome.
Jordan was just beginning his journey. Frederick's path was shaped
too early by the system. Today I honor them both
(01:46):
their names and the stories their memory. While we mourn
their absence, I also believe we gain two angel reminders
of urgent work we must do for our youth before
(02:09):
it's too late. There's a moment in Coach Carter where
a player shows up at Coach's door after losing a
(02:29):
friend and gun violence. It's raw, it's painful, and it
reflects exactly what so many young people face when violence
stills someone they love. Let's check it out.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I want to come back, coach, going up. I want
to come back on the team.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
What the hell happened? They shot.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Horney?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
They shot running? I mean we was just there, We
was just there. Every everything was good.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Come in time, Come on, fee, everything was good, coach.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I mean, you know, come inside. So what I'm on?
You don't understand.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I wanna come back on the team. What do I
gotta do? Don't worry about that, son, Just come inside.
Whatever you want me to do, s I do it? Okay, okay, okay,
shot okay, I got.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You come with ustuff.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Come on, I can only leave the shop.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Just come inside. No, alright, come on, you know, let's
come on, come on. Whatever you want me to a doo? Okay,
that's seen mirrors what happened to Jordan. Violence doesn't give warning.
(04:13):
One moment everything is fine, the next a life is gone.
Those left behind scramble for answers, clinging to anything solid
like that platter, Like the player wanting back on the team.
Our youth need structure, mentorship and hope to stand grounded,
(04:38):
to uh to stand grounded, and to stay grounded when
the world feels unsafe. But grief isn't only sudden. Sometimes
(05:00):
is lifelong abandonment, rejection, being left behind. That's where Antoine
Fisher speaks so deeply the moment therapy ends, he's terrified
of being left again. Let's listen. You understand this is
(05:34):
very difficult for me, how sessions have ended.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Listen, just listen to you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okaying a living didn't mean it is that it and
its It's time for you to move on. You can't
still here and you and me are working out my
moment you can't work out?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Do you mean that we need to figure when I
listen to me, hey, get out, get out.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Everybody's always leaving me grown people, move on, you've grown.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It's to my mother left me. I understand. Jesse, what
do you mean?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You should have never gone?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's why Jesse cow Bell was ringing him up. Can
tell me about the cave? Sure what happened to Jesse?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Stay away from you. Nobody's taking anything else away from
you living.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's what I think of when I think of Frederick,
a man who spent so much of his life behind bars,
carrying trauma never fully healed. He was on his way home,
but his life ended without us by his side. Too
(06:55):
many young men carry this same pain, hm that never
close because no one is there to help them work
through it. There's another film that speaks to this cycle,
(07:21):
Gridiron Gang. There's a moment when two players from rival
gangs find themselves in the middle of a football event,
and what should have been just another game turns into tragedy.
It shows how past violence can steal alive and how
even those trying to move forward gets dragged back into
(07:45):
the past. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
For that. Let me catch you on the street.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I got to Oh, that's the reality so many young
(08:55):
men face, even when they're trying to change the past. Follows.
Jordan didn't get the chance to fight for a new path. Frederick,
despite his mistakes, was working towards freedom, but violence, whether
(09:18):
in the streets or inside prison walls, cut them both short.
That's why we can't wait until tomorrow to step in.
Tomorrow might not be Tomorrow, might be too late. The
(09:47):
truth is, Jordan and Roderick's stories are not rare. Coach
Carter puts it plainly when he talks about his team
and the statistics for young black men. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, let me tell you what I see. I see
a system that's designed for you to fail. Now, I
know you all like stats, so let me give you some.
Richmond High only graduates fifty percent of its students, and
of those that do graduate, only six percent go to college,
which tells me when I walk down these halls and
(10:26):
I look in your classrooms, maybe only one student is
going to go to college.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Well them, Coach Carter.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
If I ain't going to college, well I'm gonna go.
Now that's a great question. And the answer for young
African American men in here is this, probably to prison.
In this county, thirty three percent of black males between
eighteen and twenty four get arrested. So look at the
(10:56):
guy on your left, now look at the guy on
your right. One of you is gonna get arrested. Growing
up here in Richmond. You're eighty percent more likely to
go to prison than college. Those are the numbers. Those
are some stats for your ass. Now I want you
(11:18):
to go home and look at your lives tonight, and
look at your parents' lives and ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Do I want better?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
The answer is yes, I'll say you hear the mom
and I promise you I will do everything in my
power to get you to college into a better life.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Too many young men and are funneled toward death or
prison before they can dream. But we are not statistics.
Jordan was more than a young man in a car.
Frederick was more than a number in the prison system.
(12:22):
They were loved, They had purpose, and so do the
young people listening. Right now, before it's too late, we
must step in. We must mentor guide and speak life.
(12:44):
Our youth deserve more than cycles of violence. They deserve
abundant life. It amazes me how life can teach us
(13:04):
lessons when we choose to see it through a different lens.
Frederick had a son named Jonathan, and now it's passing.
Jonathan is at the age of college playing college basketball.
(13:26):
What a different paths child has been given with the
right guidance. The Bible teaches us something similar. Just because
our parents may not walk the right path, it doesn't
mean we can't either. It doesn't have to be you.
(13:48):
You can chart your own course. Consider King Aziah, who
did evil in the sight of the Lord by following
the ways of his father A Hb and mother j Isabel,
leading Israel into sin. Yet his story serves as a
(14:10):
cautionary tale, reminding us that we are not bound to
repeat the mistakes of those before us. We have the
power to choose different paths, one that honors our values
and leads to a better future. Psalms thirty four, verse
eighteen says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and
(14:32):
saves those who are crushed in the spirit. Today, I
hold on to that for my family, for Jordan and
for Frederick, and for every family who has lost someone
too soon. Thank you for listening to inc and impact
(14:57):
if this episode spoke to you, share your thoughts and
the comments and heart this episode and share the podcast
with a friend. Let someone around you know that their
life matters and that yours do too. No matter where
you are on your path, having a little guidance from
(15:19):
someone who has walked it before you can make all
the difference. This episode is dedicated to Jordan and Frederick,
two lives cut short, but two angels gained. May their
memory be a call for us to love harder, guide deeper,
(15:44):
and do all we can for our youth. Before it's
too late.
In August two thousand fifteen, and again in September of
two thousand twenty three. My family experienced losses that changed
us forever. I lost my baby cousin, Jordan, taken by
gun violence while sitting in a car. Wrong place, wrong time,
(00:29):
wrong moment. His life was stolen before he even had
the chance to truly live. Then I lost my older cousin, Frederick,
his life ended inside a correctional facility, taken by jail violence,
(00:51):
only months away from his release. He had spent most
of his adults hood behind bars. When his life ended,
he had no family beside him, no comfort of knowing
he was loved. Both deaths were preventable. Both reflect moments
(01:21):
where guidance, mentorship, and intervention might have changed the outcome.
Jordan was just beginning his journey. Frederick's path was shaped
too early by the system. Today I honor them both
(01:46):
their names and the stories their memory. While we mourn
their absence, I also believe we gain two angel reminders
of urgent work we must do for our youth before
(02:09):
it's too late. There's a moment in Coach Carter where
a player shows up at Coach's door after losing a
(02:29):
friend and gun violence. It's raw, it's painful, and it
reflects exactly what so many young people face when violence
stills someone they love. Let's check it out.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I want to come back, coach, going up. I want
to come back on the team.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
What the hell happened? They shot.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Horney?
Speaker 1 (03:09):
They shot running? I mean we was just there, We
was just there. Every everything was good.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Come in time, Come on, fee, everything was good, coach.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I mean, you know, come inside. So what I'm on?
You don't understand.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I wanna come back on the team. What do I
gotta do? Don't worry about that, son, Just come inside.
Whatever you want me to do, s I do it? Okay, okay, okay,
shot okay, I got.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
You come with ustuff.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Come on, I can only leave the shop.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Just come inside. No, alright, come on, you know, let's
come on, come on. Whatever you want me to a doo? Okay,
that's seen mirrors what happened to Jordan. Violence doesn't give warning.
(04:13):
One moment everything is fine, the next a life is gone.
Those left behind scramble for answers, clinging to anything solid
like that platter, Like the player wanting back on the team.
Our youth need structure, mentorship and hope to stand grounded,
(04:38):
to uh to stand grounded, and to stay grounded when
the world feels unsafe. But grief isn't only sudden. Sometimes
(05:00):
is lifelong abandonment, rejection, being left behind. That's where Antoine
Fisher speaks so deeply the moment therapy ends, he's terrified
of being left again. Let's listen. You understand this is
(05:34):
very difficult for me, how sessions have ended.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Listen, just listen to you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Got it?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Okaying a living didn't mean it is that it and
its It's time for you to move on. You can't
still here and you and me are working out my
moment you can't work out?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Do you mean that we need to figure when I
listen to me, hey, get out, get out.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Everybody's always leaving me grown people, move on, you've grown.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It's to my mother left me. I understand. Jesse, what
do you mean?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You should have never gone?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's why Jesse cow Bell was ringing him up. Can
tell me about the cave? Sure what happened to Jesse?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Stay away from you. Nobody's taking anything else away from
you living.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
That's what I think of when I think of Frederick,
a man who spent so much of his life behind bars,
carrying trauma never fully healed. He was on his way home,
but his life ended without us by his side. Too
(06:55):
many young men carry this same pain, hm that never
close because no one is there to help them work
through it. There's another film that speaks to this cycle,
(07:21):
Gridiron Gang. There's a moment when two players from rival
gangs find themselves in the middle of a football event,
and what should have been just another game turns into tragedy.
It shows how past violence can steal alive and how
even those trying to move forward gets dragged back into
(07:45):
the past. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
For that. Let me catch you on the street.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I got to Oh, that's the reality so many young
(08:55):
men face, even when they're trying to change the past. Follows.
Jordan didn't get the chance to fight for a new path. Frederick,
despite his mistakes, was working towards freedom, but violence, whether
(09:18):
in the streets or inside prison walls, cut them both short.
That's why we can't wait until tomorrow to step in.
Tomorrow might not be Tomorrow, might be too late. The
(09:47):
truth is, Jordan and Roderick's stories are not rare. Coach
Carter puts it plainly when he talks about his team
and the statistics for young black men. Let's listen.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, let me tell you what I see. I see
a system that's designed for you to fail. Now, I
know you all like stats, so let me give you some.
Richmond High only graduates fifty percent of its students, and
of those that do graduate, only six percent go to college,
which tells me when I walk down these halls and
(10:26):
I look in your classrooms, maybe only one student is
going to go to college.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Well them, Coach Carter.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
If I ain't going to college, well I'm gonna go.
Now that's a great question. And the answer for young
African American men in here is this, probably to prison.
In this county, thirty three percent of black males between
eighteen and twenty four get arrested. So look at the
(10:56):
guy on your left, now look at the guy on
your right. One of you is gonna get arrested. Growing
up here in Richmond. You're eighty percent more likely to
go to prison than college. Those are the numbers. Those
are some stats for your ass. Now I want you
(11:18):
to go home and look at your lives tonight, and
look at your parents' lives and ask yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Do I want better?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
The answer is yes, I'll say you hear the mom
and I promise you I will do everything in my
power to get you to college into a better life.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Too many young men and are funneled toward death or
prison before they can dream. But we are not statistics.
Jordan was more than a young man in a car.
Frederick was more than a number in the prison system.
(12:22):
They were loved, They had purpose, and so do the
young people listening. Right now, before it's too late, we
must step in. We must mentor guide and speak life.
(12:44):
Our youth deserve more than cycles of violence. They deserve
abundant life. It amazes me how life can teach us
(13:04):
lessons when we choose to see it through a different lens.
Frederick had a son named Jonathan, and now it's passing.
Jonathan is at the age of college playing college basketball.
(13:26):
What a different paths child has been given with the
right guidance. The Bible teaches us something similar. Just because
our parents may not walk the right path, it doesn't
mean we can't either. It doesn't have to be you.
(13:48):
You can chart your own course. Consider King Aziah, who
did evil in the sight of the Lord by following
the ways of his father A Hb and mother j Isabel,
leading Israel into sin. Yet his story serves as a
(14:10):
cautionary tale, reminding us that we are not bound to
repeat the mistakes of those before us. We have the
power to choose different paths, one that honors our values
and leads to a better future. Psalms thirty four, verse
eighteen says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and
(14:32):
saves those who are crushed in the spirit. Today, I
hold on to that for my family, for Jordan and
for Frederick, and for every family who has lost someone
too soon. Thank you for listening to inc and impact
(14:57):
if this episode spoke to you, share your thoughts and
the comments and heart this episode and share the podcast
with a friend. Let someone around you know that their
life matters and that yours do too. No matter where
you are on your path, having a little guidance from
(15:19):
someone who has walked it before you can make all
the difference. This episode is dedicated to Jordan and Frederick,
two lives cut short, but two angels gained. May their
memory be a call for us to love harder, guide deeper,
(15:44):
and do all we can for our youth. Before it's
too late.
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