Ep. 5 - Overcoming The Fear of Asking For Help with Tyneshia Perine, Owner of Tootles Event Sitters - Inside The Wedding Planner's Mind

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind podcast with
Irene Tyndale, Chief Event Officer of Irene Tyndale Weddings and Events.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
All Right, insiders, here's Irene. Hello everyone, and welcome to
another episode of Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind. I'm your host,
Irene Tyndale, and today we have a truly inspiring episode
lined up for you. As entrepreneurs, especially in the wedding
planning industry, we often find ourselves juggling numerous responsibilities and

(00:30):
facing countless challenges. One of the biggest hurdles many of
us face is the fear of asking for help. This
fear can hold us back from reaching our full potential
and building the thriving businesses we dream of. That's why
I am thrilled to have a very special guest with
us today, Tuanisha Heerene. Tanisha is the owner of n

(00:52):
CEO of Toodles Event Sitters in Central Florida, my hometown,
and she has an incredible story to share. Our journey
to becoming a successful entrepreneur is a testament to the
power of overcoming fear and embracing vulnerability. In today's episode,
we'll be diving into Tuinnisi's presentation Fearless Together overcoming the

(01:14):
fear of asking for help, we'll explore the concept behind
the powerful message here about Tinisia's own experiences and learn
why vulnerability can be a game changer for creating authentic
connections and meaningful relationship. So whether you're just starting out
or looking to expand your business, this episode is packed

(01:35):
with valuable insights and inspiration that you won't want to miss.
Let's get started and welcome my friend, my friend Tunisia
to the show. Hey Tuinisia, Hey, hello, thank you, thank
you for love that introduction. I was like, oh, it
is nice to hear you, hear your accolades.

Speaker 3 (01:57):
And sometimes I'd be like, does that mean oh right.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
I was just watching an episode of Shay Shay's podcast
and they had l couj on there, and like literally
was like a ninety second INChO like he was just
like like that dash dash dash dash, And at the
end of it, I was like, I need that as
my alarm clock in the morning. He was just like,

(02:26):
I need that my alarm clock in the morning. I
was like, that's right, and he was just like he
had like at first he was like really humble, but
they had TODs and he had a big grin on
his face, like you sometimes have to lick in the mirror,
and you'd be like you you've done all that and
you're mama, like you know of multiple people's a really

(02:46):
really busy children because I know you personally, and then
I follow you on you know, social media, like personally
social media, and I was like, oh, she's a busy mama.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Oh yeah, thanks, yes, there's so yeah. While we're recording,
I have them like touch exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Because she was just saying that we're recording this in
early August and our kids are back at school and
she still has one more week or they got one
more week. So keeping you on my prayers. You got
you got this last stretch, all right. So I love
to ask all of our guests to tell me the
origin story, right, So tell me how you became the

(03:30):
owner the CEO of Tutle's Event Sitters in Central Florida. Like,
how did this crazy world that we call the event
World wedding planning event World find you?

Speaker 3 (03:43):
Well, it started out in two thousand and ten and
I was planning my own wedding. We're getting married and
I was actually doing children tea parties at the time,
and we were looking for a sitting company. And I
didn't want just any sitting company. I wanted a company
that can come in and entertain the children. With my

(04:05):
background being early education, I love making sure that kids
are entertained, they're having fun, They're not just idling sitting around,
They're doing something. So I cannot find it exactly what
I was looking for. So we ended up hiring sitters
to come in because I had We had family from

(04:25):
all from Missouri, from New Jersey, from PA, and they
all had children. We didn't have any at the time,
so I was like, I love you guys, but you
do not watch your children. So so we're like, we're
getting bad at this bed and breakfast beautiful. I mean
like we took over the whole layout of the venue,

(04:46):
so I wanted to. I wanted them to enjoy themselves
because it was actually the first time in years on
both sides of our family that an actual wedding at
this caliber, So we wanted everyone to be able to
to enjoy. Now we don't set at the bar so high.
They're all mad at us, but I know how that feels.

(05:10):
My mom always said, you used to tell I'm like, hey,
you did not. I told you she's not a just
with the peace girl, but you didn't listen. So we
hired these We hire these setters to come in. We
bought in the food, we brought in everything. We brought
in the gangs to make sure that they were the
children were entertained. I get a call from a bride
who was getting married and she said, hey, I know

(05:30):
you do tea parties, but are you able to come
and do a theme party for children that we have
at our wedding, And ask that sure, because I don't
let any opportunity go. We don't figure it out. So
we came in. We did a princess and pirate thing.

(05:51):
We did like stencils for face painting, and we just
entertained them for about four or five hours. And I
get home and I'm sitting there and I was talking
to a friend of mine and she goes, do you
not see that there was a business that just opened up?
And I'm like, what are you talking about? And she's like,

(06:13):
think about this, and I was like, yeah, but it's
not normal. It's the wedding industry. It's not something that
you really you hear about you hear about it in
a corporate world in some conferences, but not the wedding industry.
So I started doing some research, started going to networking events,
started talking to people, and slowly, but surely, our name

(06:38):
just started getting out there. It wasn't overnight and we
would get I call it it was our trial, trial
and error time because we we didn't. We just learned
as we went. Like I learned as I went, I
did my research and then you know, in between growing
a business, we had kids. You know, I still was

(06:58):
working a full time job, but it was a learning
process through it all, and that's when you know, took place.
And then about twenty eighteen, I lost my husband and
two weeks after that, I lost my full time job.
So I was like, what are we doing? Lord, I'm

(07:20):
gonna need a preview of this story?

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Can I hello? I'm like, can I get a trailer?

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Can I get a Can I see what you're going
with this? You know that I need? I just know
what are we doing here? So I had three kids
under five, kindergarten VPK and the baby had just turned one,
and he spoke to me and said, you know that
business that you've been dabbing in. You need to you

(07:47):
need to put up for it. I'm like, I have
I don't know where, I don't know what to do.
I have no clue what to do. So I just
went back out there and started networking again, and luckily
people remembered me in the wedding industry and they were
very warm, welcoming, and and just I just started making
connections and making connections and making connections, and then students

(08:09):
just took off from that.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
So how many so I know you have a whole
team of sitters? Correct? Yes, how many sitters do you
have right now?

Speaker 3 (08:21):
We have about sixty sitters. But we're doing on We
always do agoing hiring because our sitters are not some
of them are seasoned. Some of them only come out
for the summertime. Some only come during the holiday time
because they're either school teachers or nannies or you know,
stay at home moms. Some of them want to just
make extra cash for the for the you know, for

(08:42):
the holiday time. So we're constantly hiring just so we
can have a pool of sitters.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Absolutely, right, Because you do you do weddings, you do,
I mean any really corporate events, weddings stuff at hotels,
Like yeah, so you're you all like consitters and like
you said, you're coming in entertaining the kids, which is
which is great. Yeah. I remember the first time I
heard of that, and when I was a planner in Orlando,
I did not. I mean, you have people who came
and babysit here and there wanting ones tuosies. But it

(09:13):
wasn't time moved to Atlanta that I was like, wait,
there's a whole We have a one or two companies
here that kind of love the same way you do it.
And then I heard about yours, and I was like,
where was that? When I was a planner all those
years ago, they typically I would just go to the
College of Education at the you know, the school or
nanny's or something like that, and you know, that's how
we would hire them if our couples needed them or

(09:34):
somebody knew a nanny, and that's how we did it.
So I love the fact that there's a whole business.
But I also kudos to your friend for saying, girl,
it's like, do you know because you don't see it
sometimes you don't see it for yourself sometimes, so other
people see it in you or other people see it

(09:54):
for you, and it's it's nice that you were like, Okay,
I'm obedient, but I love it so fast far. For Like,
the reason I we are having this conversation is because
you recently, probably a couple of months ago, you recently
did a presentation. We have been talking about you getting
into the speaking and you you know, we've had multiple
conversations about it, and I remember You're like, Okay, I

(10:16):
just don't know what I'm gonna talk about. I don't
know what I'm gonna talk about, and you know, and
you like you knew. I was like, oh, you canna
talk about how you did your event and you know,
your your events center company. You're like yeah, but no,
Like I don't think that was what was interesting to
you at that point. You like you could do that,
but if you wanted to, but you were like eh.
And then when I saw that the Central Florida Wedding

(10:38):
Association was having you be the speaker and your topic
is fearless Together overcoming the fear of asking for help,
I was like, she found it, Like she found her
What do they say your signature talk right, like your
signature chat, so explain to other people to explain to
us the concept behind that presentation, like what what sparked

(10:59):
you to make that presentation?

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Well, I was going, you know, after we have talked
with back and forth and writing down different topics that
I can speak on, and trying to find that one
topic that can cover someone that has children who don't
have children, and then as I'm talking to people and

(11:25):
just having conversations with them just about life in general,
it was fear just kept popping out, fear, fear, and
it was I said out, you know what, if I
look back at my journey right and look at all

(11:48):
the obstacles that I went through, still going through, still learning,
the biggest thing that held back or that held me
back was fear. It was fear through everything. And I always,
you know, you know the they always say that you
think you got it hard, the person next to you

(12:09):
has it harder. So I'm going through the fear and
some of the person next to me is going through
the same some type of fear. And you know, sit
in church these these last couple of months, the pastor
just been pre the topic anxiety and depression and fear,
and this I'm like, okay, Lord, all right, we got
it I got it. I got it. I see where

(12:32):
you're going with this, you know, and you know, you
sit there and you look at it, and then I
look back to see how many people have guided me
and mentored me and helped me get over hurdles through
the business and the you know, the anxiety and fear
and depression that I had. And so I said, this

(12:54):
is a topic that needs to be speak about, especially
as women.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
You know.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
One thing that makes me cringe is when people say, oh,
you're so strong. I am not strong, you know. I
I have no you know, I get up in the
morning and I do what I have to do, you know.
So that's where and this topic is just growing, and

(13:19):
as I'm developing it and presenting it to different groups
and talking to different organizations, new things that's coming out,
and then learning how, okay, what can what can I
do to help you? What advice can I give? So
it's that's pretty that's how you know, the I just

(13:42):
it's just been taken off.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
But it's funny that you would say that that's a topic, right,
that that's a you didn't even realize it was a
hot topic, the word fear. I also heard doctor Anita
Phillips say the day that we always like imposter sunderment's
post syndrome. It's like, no, that's fear. We just try
to mask it with a different fancy name, like imposter syndrome.
It's fear. And then you know, I've done research and

(14:05):
I've also seen this that the phrase fear not is
in the Bible three hundred and sixty five days, right,
three hundred and sixty five times, which equates to a year. Right,
So there's not going to be a moment that you're
not going to be fearful about something. It's just like
I tell my coaching clients, just don't sit in the fear.

(14:28):
Don't sit in the fear and muddle in it for
a long time. And I'm always I always use the
analogy of my One of my favorite moments in Scripture
is when Jesus in the garden Gassivity and he's like,
he didn't he didn't go skipping up the hill of
Calvary like to go to the cross, like he didn't
want to, like Daddy, if this could, if you could

(14:50):
take this from me, please do, but if it's your will,
let it be done right. He wasn't in there, he
wasn't going, whoa I'm going because you exactly was about
to happen to him and he did it right. So
the fact that you know and we think we're fearful
and then what happens is sometimes and you know this,
he could cripple you and then you do nothing. So

(15:11):
then what's then then your fears might come true because
you can do anything, like why didn't see you? See
what I mean? Well, the reason you don't have leads,
the reason you don't have this, the reason you don't
have that is because you let fears stop you and
so get what he can't bless what you don't work
at like he just.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
Kidding O, Yes, and it's it's true. And you know,
talking to people about it, and you know, one thing
is through my journey and they're like, oh, you're so strong.
I'm not strong. But if I don't get up, then
who's who's gonna feed the children, Who's going to pay
the bills, who's gonna take them to school, Who's gonna

(15:53):
do this? It's it's what I have to do, you know,
through through it all, I gotta get up and keep moving.
You know, if I stay still, then my kids are
gonna witness their mom crumbling right and not showing them
that life will bring you a fire, but it's our
job to walk through that fire. Now, you're going to

(16:16):
get burned while you're walking through the fire, but you
just keep going because at the there's you know, there's
there's water at the end. You know there's band aids
at the end that's gonna cover the wounds and the burns.
But you know you have to just keep moving through it.
Once you sit down, you just lost a client. You

(16:37):
probably finances, so your money's messed up. You're a system.
You're like, oh, I need to work on this. I
need to work on this, and guess what, it's not done.
You know, your connector your mentor someone that you've been
trying to connect with just probably walk past your house,
but you're in the house mulking about it of what

(16:57):
one client said or that you didn't get that you
really or you're battling with trying to get laundry on
and you don't know how to say I need help.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
We all that that's a lot. That's a lot there,
So let that sink in for a minute. Listen, they
let that sink in for a minute, so that was
for you. Let that sink in. But can you share
share some personal experience or stories where you faced these
barriers youself and how you overcame them? Right, So you're

(17:30):
talking about those moments of you know, this is completely
up to you get as personal as you want to
be about your business. But when have you faced those
barriers of you almost fear stricken? Right, because I feel
like I've had conversations just this past weekend with coaching
clients via text and it's like I should be doing
something but I can't right now, you know, and you

(17:53):
kind of it's almost like fear stricken. But you what
experiences have you had and how have you overcome those?

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Oh? Wow, let me see if I can like narrow
that narrow that topic.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Because it would be.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
All day, right, I stay on my my business thought, No,
my personal side. I'll start with being a you know,
a minority woman and where society looks at us, you know,
as strong, we can do it all, We can walk
on the water if we wanted to, and trying to

(18:30):
raise three children that are developing at different seasons of
their lives. And it was you know, I went from
a two family, two parents that very hands on parent
into one where I felt like I had to do
everything myself. I want to ask nobody for help. I
can pay them, I can get them ready for bed,
I can go grocery shop and I can pick them

(18:51):
up from school. I can do homework, I can take
them here, I can do this, I can do that.
Until a moment came and I and I said I
can't do it all. But I didn't want to ask
for help of the fear that I was going to
be talked about. You mean, what are you talking about?

(19:11):
You can't do that? Why so and so did this?
And your mom did this? And grandma raised seventeen children
and she still picked you know, like it's.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Just children and grandchildren and sometimes great grandchildren. What do
you mean you need help?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
You know, like, what do you mean you're not cooking dinner?
What do you what do you mean you're gonna do
a drive through? So it was so much going on
my mind that I had literally almost had a breakdown
that I've been I kind of step back, and I
had to put the two most important people in my life,
my mom my sister, and sit them down and said
you're either gonna help or you're not gonna help. I

(19:47):
need help, not criticism. I need help. Where are we
falling in together? You know, we have three children here.
My sister has one, she's off the college, but we
have three other little ones that we have to get
through and off the college or wherever their choice of
life is. And it was hard, so hard. It was

(20:09):
hard for judgment. It was hard, you know, like I
started like feeling like a failure, like, actually, why can
I not do this? My mom raised me and my
sister as a single mom. But then as reality comes
and talking to my mom more and more and more,
she did she had a village. You don't realize that
as a kid. So I started building a village to

(20:33):
get help. You know, being in the wedding industry, you
guys know we have we had We can have an
event on Thursday, event on Friday. We can have event
Sunday and Saturday and sometimes Monday. And but I didn't
want my kids to stop doing their activities. So I
built a village for my son for football, and I
built a village from my daughter for her theater. And

(20:55):
then the little one just started baseball, so we're not
quite there with him yet, but I know and that was,
you know, the one fear of asking asking for help,
like hey, can someone pick him up from practice for
me and bring him home? Or I can't make this
football game? Can he go with you? And then somebody

(21:18):
will come pick him up. And sometimes I still get
in that little Oh I feel like I'm being a burden.
My village will always say, you are not a burden.
You were working, You're you're one person, like we're already
going there, so it's okay, you know. So that was

(21:39):
where one of the fears that I got over, and
as a mom and as a solo parent, of asking
for help in many aspects of my life. And then
one of the other ones laugh all the time. A
friend of mine's eating, we're having coffee, and she's like,
how's it going. I said, girl, I need somebody to
come to my house and just do the law. I

(22:01):
cannot keep up with this laundry. She's like, just laundry.
I said, just laundry. I just need somebody.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Don't.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
I'm not asking you a cleaning house. I just need
laundry done.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Wash this stuff wash.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
So she says, oh, let me ask the lady that
helps me clean my house. I'm like, girls, she's gonna
come all the way to me clean. No, no, she
comes to my house. She started coming to my house
to just do the laundry. And I was like, people
are going to think that. I'm like I have all
this money. I don't have all this money. I just
have sanity. She helps me with my brain, like just
the sanity of I don't have to worry about washing clothes,

(22:37):
folding clothes. She takes out clothes. Once the kids get
a certain size, she'll come to me and say, oh,
I saw you started buying this size for so and so.
Let me take out these sizes and she back. She
takes them to friend's house. She takes them to the Goodwill,
you know, or she'll come in and she has actually
turned into a friend. So is going through things in

(22:59):
life and me and her we talk when she's here.
It's not just her fulling, washing and cleaning. I'm like,
how are you doing right? But can I help you
with what do you need? Like me where she's a
single mom and we're mentoring each other through it all,
you know, and we're giving me advice. I'm giving her advice.
I'm you know, trying to keep her positive. So overcoming

(23:22):
that fear allowed me to also help someone else also
ring right, Oh, because she was raised of you do
it all? You know, have for helping?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Oh, absolutely please. But then if you heard somebody stay
the other day though, I was listening to something that
somebody that day says that we we've as much as
we love our moms, almost that have disusiced to us
because we thought, like for those of us that grew
up with single moms or moms that you know, stay
at home moms or even moms at work and still
kept house together, right, like everybody has a different mom, Like, oh,

(23:55):
she had it all together, and we don't know what
she did when we went to bed at night. We
don't know what heres we cried in the in the
in the shower, or you know, she put herself an
extra glass of wine when we went to bed. We
don't know that because they kept a lot of that
stuff to themselves, you know, like they're just like because
you it is what it is. This is what all
the women in our family have done for years and

(24:18):
but not knowing that sometimes they did have a village
here and there, you know what I'm saying, and it
and you know, for for me, I know, you know
it was mostly friends of my mom's. It became family,
you know what I'm saying, Like it became family and
to this day, these are people that I consider family members,
you know what I'm saying, and of course some family

(24:39):
members as well. But yeah, it's kind of like you're
paying it forward and you're helping another woman with her business.
Like you know what I'm saying, Like you have a
she you have a need and a pain point that
I think most of us if if it raised any
of my the kids or even ourselves. Laundry is a beast.
I remember there was a I think last fall I

(25:01):
had like pack to back, back to back, back to
back events and then it was like one weekend I
was home and you know, we tag team when it
comes to laundry and stuff like that, but it was
like I looked at the pile and I was like,
do I want to spend this Saturday, my only Saturday
off washing clothes? And one of my clients, one of
my brides, send me a link and child these people

(25:23):
washed my clothes for twenty bucks. I had a coupon
and it was the nice I mean, it was so
nice to be put it at the doorstep and then
the next day came back washed, folded. It was nice,
it was nice, but you're right, it did creep into
my head, like what what what would our moms think
that I have somebody else watching our laundry or have
somebody coming deep clean the house, or you know, saying it,

(25:45):
or I went to Chick fil a twice this week
versus once you know what I'm saying, just on the weekends,
or I'm not I'm not about to fry a bunch
of chicken. I went up to Publics because they got
good chicken ten dollars and it's good to go, and
that was what we had for dinner last night, you know,
you know, And it's it's that kind of thing in
your personal life. You know. I tell people all the

(26:05):
time that the older I get, the more I pay
for convenience. Yes, you know, like just something convenience, and
sometimes you just have to sacrifice, like guess what, I'm
not going to do this thing, but I'm going to
have laundry done and I can spend time with the kids,
and then you're not stressed out about is the uniforms clean,
it's her outfit clean, it's you know, what I'm saying,
it's it kind of takes off one thing off of

(26:26):
your brain, because that's a lot. That's your laundry for
four people. Because I have laundry for four people, but
laundry for three little people. They got multiple activities a day.
Kudos to you for doing es Kudos for two years.

Speaker 3 (26:38):
I say to them, there is some days in the week,
twenty four hours, we get up at the same time
and go to bed at the same time. Why do
y'all have to clo I haven't figured that far out now.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
During the pandemic, my daughter, I was like, y'all not
going to school, you homeschooling? Why does her laundry basket
was full because she was changing in outfits throughout the day.
But she was bored. Yes, she was just like, I'm like,
but it's not dirty, but I wore it, and I'm like,
oh my gosh. But you know, you know, Mina old
enough that we started last year. We started having them
wash their own clothes and dry their own clothes. And

(27:12):
it's been really helpful because of course you got to
prepare them for the future, you know.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
And so the two older ones they have their own yeah,
and they go in, they wash their clothes, they put
in the dryer, they fold them and they said, but
I thought we had someone that does that kind of No,
she's here for me, mommy, not yours. My sanity is.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, they asked me. My son asked me if he said, well,
you know, you have a personal trainer, and you have
somebody that does your makeup when you need it, and
somebody to cut your hair, like he was listing on
my tribe, right, like your tribe is not just like
your tribe is anybody that's helping you survive, right or
helping you live? He said, why can't we have somebody
come and be your personal assistant and take care of him?

Speaker 3 (27:56):
Drivers?

Speaker 2 (27:56):
I said, boy, who you think you are? Like, you're
not a rock a fella, Like it's just like you know,
oh my goodness. Yeah, we could talk about this. So
why do you consider vulnerability a game changer for creating
like authentic connections and meaningful relationships? Like why do you

(28:17):
in your opinion? Well, before that, because I I before
that my backup, what's the business story behind? Like the
business experience? We're asking for help, So let's go there.

Speaker 3 (28:28):
So the business part about asking for help is realizing
that I was on a hamster wheel that was just
going and going and going going, and I cannot figure
out why was why was the dial not moving? Why
was the income there? Like it's we're getting you know,
I'm booking, I'm getting it, We're getting events, and we're

(28:49):
doing great, and you know, leads are coming in. But
what was it? What was going on? And you see
all these people in the industry and you know, you know,
the Central Ford wedding industry, for the wedding stry in general,
is saturated with vendors of all kind and they posted

(29:10):
elaborate photos of the events that they've done. I'm like, Labriet, like,
we don't have nothing. We don't, we just we don't,
you know, we don't have these beautiful bouquets and you know,
all these beautiful or whatever, and so I I just
started more. I'm not gonna call it stalking.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
But it's research. It's market research, that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
There was one venue that I was I was trying
to get in and I'm like, I know, once we
get into this one venue, this venue will get us
going like this this is our venue. And I've tried
connecting with them and connecting with them. And finally I said,
I'm going to send this email. Mm hmm. These two

(29:57):
planners that work in this venue were which thing can
happen is they don't respond, right, I have to figure
out another plan. So I think I rewrote this email
at least twenty million times before AI was in it.
It was without right, so I wrote it so many times.
I had my friend look over. My best friend read

(30:17):
over it, and she goes, girls, send the email. What
I'm like, Well, I don't want to be too long
or too you know this way. So I sent the email.
I didn't get a response back, and I'm like, oh
my god, I'm waiting wait and wait, okay. Something said
message them on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
I was like, I've got to go on a DM
that's just really stockish. So instead of Instagram, I did Facebook.
Faithbook Good to Me is a little bit more personal.
So I went to the Facebook page and I said, hey,
I sent an email to you. I just want to
make sure I got your right email address, you know, addressed.
And I said yeah, and I and they said, you
know what, we've actually been having issues with our email.

Speaker 2 (30:59):
See you never know.

Speaker 3 (31:01):
Yeah, So I said oh. They said, well, I'm glad
you reached out, you know, letting us know that is
there something that you need it? And I said, well
there is. I said, I see that you guys do
a lot of weddings at this venue. I've been trying
to reach out to them to get connected. And they said, oh, okay,
hold on one second, let me go ahead and send

(31:22):
you an email evite and they connected me to the
venue person and he said, oh, we work with Tsuto's
event stors before. They're phenomenal. I think they'll be very
there'll be a good asset to the venue for childcare
and all this stuff and getting over that fear of
I need to get in there, but I'm not able

(31:44):
to do it by myself. Somebody to help me. Now.
The other planner I did not hear back from, which
is fine actually, as once I got into the venue,
we made a connection and we're really good friends. But
it's some people just don't respond onto those because they
don't want to feel like that. They don't want to
refer other companies out that they haven't worked with, which

(32:04):
I haven't worked with that. Then there before a planner before,
but this one I have and it was I took
them a faith, Like I said, all I can say
is no, and then you just got to finish doing
my research and figure out another another way to get in.
So basically, you know, if there's something that a venue

(32:25):
that you're trying to connect with, a there's a planner
that I have been trying to connect with this one
planner for years, for years. Like when I say in years,
I finally this summer had a phone conversation with this
planner and just a podcast interview on her podcast about

(32:50):
the company. I never gave up. I just kept Okay,
maybe it's just not our time, it's not our season.
That's how I look at sites m season for us
to be a a relationship with them, because it's a relationship.
It's not our season to be at that venue. You know,
even if there's a venue that you used to work
with then you're no longer there. I always say our
being our season for that venue hash you know. And

(33:16):
so that's how when I when you get that like
I don't have to do, I don't know what to do.
I talk to myself and I talk myself out and
then I say the worst they can say is no
or don't or don't respond and it's just not my
time when it happened, so right, but.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
At least you put yourself out there, right, And it's
kind of like doing it doing anyway. And I've been
trying not to say do it scared, trying to say
do it in faith? Right, So you do it in faith,
like you're like, you know what, the worst I can
say is no, Right, But if you didn't hear anything back,
doesn't mean that you stop reaching out to that person
or stuff connecting or stop interacting with their with their

(33:54):
posts on Instagram or being mindful at what networking events
they're at, and that might be an opportunite need to talk.
But I love how you said, Okay, I really want
to work with this venue. Can't get a hold of
anybody who works there a lot. And that's just listen,
that's just doing your research. That is just doing your
research like I do that with photographers, I do that
with DJs, we do that with caterers. It's just kind

(34:16):
of like who works there the most, yes, and then
make it really and then an authentic relationship because people
could definitely know that when you're just trying to use
them for something, right, you reached out to two planners,
one you've never worked with and one you worked with,
So you had a pretty good odds because fifty percent,
you got a fifty percent success rate because one of
them said, absolutely, do connections. And honestly, majority of the

(34:40):
referrals we get or the vendorlesses we're on is because
someone else vouch for us yes, or made a need
you know, an introduction virtually and said here, or connected
us at a networking event like oh my gosh, you
need to meet you know, Irene, or you need to
meet such and such and then and it kind of
you form a relationship from there. And I always approach
it as like how can I help you, Like, you know,

(35:01):
how can I help you? You know, how can we
partner together to make things better for your couples, especially
at venues and working with you know, uh, you know,
DJs and photographers, Like how can we help you, you know,
do your job better? Basically? So I love that. I
love that you did that, And that's a I mean,
that's a part of persistence. You're like, you know what,
I'm just gonna do it. But it does take a

(35:22):
while because but I bet you is that easier to
do now, Yes, it is.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
It's a lot easier to do now, you know. And
then once you do it. I have a temple email
that I have and I just add a little bit
of things to it and send it off and say, hey,
this is what this is what I need? What do
you need?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Okay? So this is my next question is why do
you consider vulnerability a game changer for creating authentic connections
and meaningful relationships? So, like, being authentically who you are?
How has that helped your business?

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Because if you are you, you are going to connect
with people that are like minded like you. You're going
you're not going to put on Let me back up,
I'm not a I've it's hard for me to put
on face to be like. I am very you know,

(36:24):
I'm a true person. I like I want. I want
you to understand my personality and understand who I am
just as much as I want to understand your personality
and who you are. You know, because if if we're
gonna build a relationship, we have to actually like each other.
You know, it's like a dating. It's like dating. You
have to be able to connect with one another on

(36:46):
a personal and business level, and you when they're hurting.
You're hurting where your business is growing. Their business is growing,
and they're gonna they're gonna up you. They're going to
read you. They're going to know, okay, something's not right.
You know. I had a been a really a vendor
reached out to me and said, hey, girl, I know

(37:07):
you're busy, but where you been And I said, I've
been around. They said, no, I haven't seen you at
the networking events and I said, oh yeah, I said,
life got a little bit busy. I said, but I'll
be back, you know. And I was very That was
very touching that someone who's not in my everyday life
Monday through Friday and there of everything, realizes that they

(37:31):
haven't seen me right, you know, and reaching out just
to make sure that I was okay. You know, it was.
It was very touching. But that comes back from the
first initial meeting that I have with this person. I
was me. I was very open with me, and the
one thing that I did struggle with a lot in
the beginning getting back out there is to say tell
it I'm a widow. That was the heart. I'm out

(37:53):
of my mouth. I wanted to just just pass out,
I said, trying to figure out another word of saying it,
because I didn't want anyone to have any pity on
me or any you know, sorrow or anything like that.
But then I had to come to a realization of
saying that that is who I am, that is my identity,
that is what God God has putten on me as

(38:14):
my testimonial. I need to walk it and I need
to walk it with pride because I didn't do anything wrong.
It's not illegal, it's not a sin. So that is
what you know. That is why. And so as I
approach people and talk to people and build relationship with people,
of being who I am, I have learned how to

(38:38):
be open and people have opened up to me and
they have helped me out of situations and guided me
because they have my best interests at heart, just as
like I have their best interests at heart, because they
know the type of person that I am. So I
feel like when you and then when you open up
in your your being vulnerable, you're going to get the

(38:59):
help that you need, rather than to help you don't need.
Because when you go in, you're showing face and you're
pretending to be something or feel a certain way that
you're not the advice that people give you is not
going to be the correct advice that you want. That
you need to move the needle on your business as
that if you go in and you're being hey, listen,

(39:20):
I am struggling hard on this level. I need I
need this, I need that, then they're able to guide
you with the correct advice and connect you with the
right people to get you going. Now, we all know
we sometimes don't want to hear what they have to say,
especially so true, especially those that have been in the

(39:43):
trenches with us for so long. They're going to be
very blunt and very open, and it's our we have
to take that. It's gonna staying and it's gonna hurt.
But that's okay. You know, I always say to you
know a lot of my friends that have kids, if
you're if you had to give your make a decision
for your child's life, and your child is crying and

(40:07):
you are upset and crying, that's good because you made
the right decision. It made a hard decision as a parent,
but you made the right decision as a parent, because
if it's hurting the both of you, that means that
decision had to be made right. That was you know.
That was a parent's and learned tip my mama gave me,
and I was like, oh, I never want to feel
like this again. But now I'm just like, we'll fine.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
You're going to be okay like that, like, you will
be okay because you have to. You have to in
order for us to learn. It has to be. It
is scary, it is you know, you have to feel
it sometimes because then you won't do that again, right,
Like if you won't do that thing again, and then
you know when you you went from like doing this

(40:50):
business part time to doing it full time and then
then with it, I mean, you know, we were in
we've been in a coaching program together, and it's even then,
like every level that you go in in your business,
it's gonna feel brand new. But what I tell people
is like when you go from startup to growth, you're
gonna feel a little it's bumps in the road because
it's a new season, like you were saying, right, new phase,

(41:13):
a new season. But the beauty of it is that
you have the experience from the first season you just
came to do. You know what I'm saying. You just
have those experiences, and I like, Okay, now, I'm not
starting from zero. I have some you know, experience behind me.
I know what this feels like. I know what to
do now I'm at in this new season. Let me
build on, let me build on what I already know.

(41:36):
Let me reach out to I who I don't know.
But I also think though, too, is I think that
we can get inundated with too much information. So would
you say that you know, in all your years, both
personally and professionally and your business, when you were seeking
help or getting kind of help, were you discerning as
far who you got help from and who you listen to,

(41:58):
and did you you know cause you know we can
it could be information overload out there between coaches and
summits and everything else, like you did it in your
personal life when you were like you shut the little
me head off because like I I'm not a bad
mother because I'm not because I'm asking for help. I'm
I will be a bad mother if I don't get help. Okay,

(42:19):
But in business, I mean, did you deal with that too?
That to deal with you know, like I'm going to
figure this all out by myself, Like I don't know
what I'm doing, but I'm gonn figure it out by myself.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Of course, of course I did. I did. I got
it out of the control. I'm gonna watch this free
YouTube video, and I'm going to do all of this
training stuff, and I'm going to do all of these
these little short classes and and guess what those projects
are still in like at starting level, compared to finally

(42:49):
getting a getting a mentor and a coach and having
a community to be able to reach out to and say, hey,
I can't do this. Do you know someone that can?
And they say, oh, I know someone, so they can
do it. Okay, well let me reach out to them.
Because I'm also learning that as a business owner, you
have to take some things off of your plate. You
have to figure out what you're able to do, what

(43:11):
you can and cannot do, and is it realistic that
you have to do it yourself? You know, and looking
at the time, whise is it worth you staying up
to two three in the morning and knowing you have
to be up at six in the morning because some
are still working full time jobs. And then I realized
I can't do that because I'm crappy. I don't like morning.
I'm not a morning person at all. So I had

(43:31):
to learn to shut it off. This is what we're
going to do. I'm going to pass it over to
this person to handle it. And it's the same thing
as that I finally broke down and got a va.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
You know, Oh good, my VA.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
I love him. He is phenomenal. He man, he'd be
working magic. I can send him something and it don't
make any sense, but he figured out my language because
we have that connection, and he's like, oh, I already
did this, Oh I did that, this and that. Don't
worry about that. I already talked to this pient, you know.
And it has tooken so much off of fyve plate

(44:09):
that really I can focus on marketing the business, getting
out developing new marketing thing and then also working on
building our our branch in New Jersey. So it's been
it has been phenomenal.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, exactly, especially if you're branching out, especially like you said,
you have a branch in New Jersey. But even even
having sixty sitters on your roster, I mean, you can't
do that by yourself. You can't manage sixty people by yourself.
And schedules and you know there's multiple sitters for one
event and multiple events in a weekend. It's kind of

(44:46):
like that, but even more than that, because I know,
I know somewhat of your business journey is that you
don't know what you don't know, right, And sometimes you know,
we think, oh, if I'll just do this little fifteen
minute video or the summit and listen to it all day,
that osmosis is going to like sink in. And sometimes
everybody learns differently, right, so you might be a you know,

(45:09):
you visually need to learn it and you could do it.
Sometimes you need to be physically doing it. But the
fact that she's like, you know what, I don't know
what I don't know, and I'm going to get help.
And then when you understood things, you're like, but in
order for me to grow, be present with the kids,
have a decent summer off with them, or whatever the
case may be, you know, travel and whatever, you have

(45:29):
to get help. It's like you have to get help.
And that is in general. So it's kind of like
in your personal life. You know, if you have a
significant other, if you have kids, like, I need help,
Like we can't do it all by myself. But then
I also know that being vulnerable, like you just have
to tell people what you're going through.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
Yes, because you never know who's going through it with you.
Someone else is going through something else, and then they
might have went through it and said, you want to
know what I did, and here's what I did. Oh,
and you you know, we're all in different seasons of
our lives. We're all walking different journeys, but I know
we've watched something similar right through life that you can

(46:09):
help and guide someone else, you know, even like when
I hear families saying about counseling for kids or themselves,
or making time for themselves and trying to get out
more and self care. I'm big on self care. Yeah you, yes,
you are very big on self care. Like that was
another conversation that I had to have with my family

(46:30):
and is like once a quarter, I don't care if
I'm locking myself in a hotel because oh, why are
you doing that? Are you depressed? Is like, what's going on?
Why can't you talk about it? No? I just want
to sit in a big, king size bed and eat
and watch TV. And if I want to do some work,
I could do some work. And I don't hear my
AKA name. That's all. That's all.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
I'm mommy.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
I love it like she don't have to hear my
aka name for just twenty four hours or a week.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
That shit, that's all you need. I remember my mother
would be like, she's not here, this is her evil
twin sister, and I don't care, she would say, and
has a little kids look at her like what had
no idea what she meant. But now it's just like,
oh my goodness. You know, we joke around here because
when I started the business, you know, the kids were
two and four, and so they were actually quieter at

(47:20):
two and four when I was on calls and things
like that. They are now as a teenagers, and I'm
just like, and my husband's like, there was skinning the
game when they were literally okay, if you let momy
get through these couple of hours, I'll take you to
Chick fil a, or I'll take you to the park,
or I'll take you to the pool. It's just kind
of like now it's like I would be broke if
I actually put a proposition to them to be quiet,

(47:41):
you know that kind of thing. So you're right just
taking time out for that. But again, I can't do
it all. I've had conversations with new moms. I've had
conversations with you know, I even had conversations with women
older than me with kids who are in their twenties
and stuff like that. I'm like, Okay, if no one
has told you recently you're a great mom, Like you know,
you're a great mom. You did it either the best
you could or what you had. But I think in

(48:03):
business you have to would you agree that if you
don't come from a long line of entrepreneurs, if you
don't come from the business world, like if you didn't
go to college for business, if you were in in
a magerial position, being a business owner is hard. Like
you're doing something no one ever has done in your

(48:23):
circle of people, and even if someone you know has
started a business, it might not be the same business.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
Oh yes, definitely.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Like I'm to give yourself grace.

Speaker 3 (48:33):
I told my mom after my job, I said, yeah,
I'm not going back to work, and she said what
I said, No, I'm not going back to work. I'm
gonna I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run my business. She's like,
you know you got bills, right, Yeah, I know. So

(48:54):
she went to my grandmother, who has always been an
entrepreneur herself.

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Oh, I love that she had to hear.

Speaker 3 (48:59):
So long she had this, she had so many different jobs,
so many of different businesses, and my grandma said to
her that child of yours have never been in the box.
She's always worked outside of the box. I don't know
when we're going to realize that, but she knows that
she has to take care of her children right what
she's doing. Let her be. And it was hard. It

(49:21):
was very hard for her for them to wrap their
mind around that I'm at home but I'm working, Like
you can't call me and think that I can get
up and go do something like I'm right what you're
doing working, working, And it wasn't over when it took
a couple of years that for now now like oh

(49:44):
you're working. Yes, I'm working, you know, and I do
you know. I the same thing with my children, you know.
I tell them sometimes you go on vacation and I
tell them, all right, mom's got a couple of emails,
answer and I'll walk and do something. Because I always
say to them if this computer is not open and
my fingers are not going, there's no money coming in

(50:05):
this house. So they'd be like, oh wait, and they're fine,
They're fine until you know, they'll give you my time.
But I've gotten down to the balance of vacation and
family because you know, vacation time is also their time too,
so but yeah, it's if you're not in that that
family line, it is very hard. So that's why it's

(50:26):
important to build a village that understands what you're going for.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
I also would like to add to that and said
that you also have to show your people, right, so
whether it's your significant others, the closest friends, your family members,
that you're serious about your business, because that's something that
I coach people throughout a lot. They're like, oh, my husband,
or my parents or you know, my friends. They think

(50:52):
that this is a joke and din it. And I
was like, well, if you keep jumping in it out
of the pool, yep, no one's going to take you.
Are you the swimming We're not swimming. It's kind of
like I requated it. Like when we were kids, you
know how you would go in and out, in and out,
in and out and your mom is like, either you're
in and out, like you can't can be either get
my air out, like you know, you let in the
air out. So it's either your in or out. So

(51:13):
when they see you going coming and going coming and
going from this business, they're not gonna taking you serious.
That's number one. Number two, if you're always complaining about
it and complaining about clients, they're gonna be like, then
why are you doing it? Like it's no different than
when you were working your nine to five or your
you know, your investor job, like I call it. So

(51:34):
it's one of those things like I would say though too.
It's that's why it's great to have, you know, your
tribe outside of your family members, in a community of
you know, whether it's one business friend it's same business
like their planners as well, or they're a photographer and
you're you know, you're close to them and you can
talk business. I also say, it's kind of like our brides, right,
my brides. The groom loves the fact that I could

(51:55):
talk we could talk wedding all day every day because
he don't want to talk about it all day every day, right,
So they're like, oh, I could hire you to be
her her wedding vestie.

Speaker 3 (52:05):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Absolutely, Like where do we? Where do we sign? Because
I don't want to talk about this. I want to
talk about rehearsal dinner, and I want to talk about
maybe my tuxedo and my honeymoon, like they don't want
to talk about every little nuance. And there's the color
of the linens and the linen, the napkin fold. No,
So it's kind of like taking inventory of where you're

(52:28):
at currently, I would say, right, and then then making
a list of what you need. I'm always I'm always
about lists. I know my coaching clients if I all
rolling their eyes, I'm my brain.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
Ump.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
My friends make the list. Santa Claus dinner, he make
a list. He checks it twice, right, Like, so you
got to do that, Like you have to do that.
And it's like what is it? And who's a part
of your tribe? Like you're like, now you have your va,
you have your lady that comes in and helps you
with the laundry and things around the house. Listen. And
the fact that she's even recognizing the sizes changing, bless
her heart. But that's because she's mama, So that that

(53:00):
also works out right, you know, Oh, yes, that's angel
right there for you.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
You know it's amazing, Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Exactly, So you know it's it's kind of like, what
do I need in my life, and then once you
figure out what you need your life, lean on them. Right.
I will say that my that every phase of my business,
same thing as you. There were different people at different
points in time. Some some I paid, some I didn't pay.
They were just good friends that helped me get to

(53:28):
the next level. Right. Or when I'm having a bad moment,
I'm not gonna call it a day because I don't think.
I caught myself trying to caught myself feeling like that
on Friday, like I'm having a bad day, and I
was like, no, it's a bad moment. So going to
an appointment, I called one one friend and on the
way back, I talked to another friend. They're super clo,
we're super all three of us are close, and literally

(53:52):
it was the conversations that I needed to get me
out of it, you know what I'm saying, To get
me out of the moment. I wasn't sinking in it
all day every day, and even when those feelings come
back up, I'm like, oh, no, I have a plan.
We got a plan. We're taking care of this. We
we're good to go. We're you know, I'm saying, we're
good to go. So I love that. I love that.

(54:12):
So my last question.

Speaker 3 (54:14):
To you is.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
First of all multiple, It's like two part questions. So,
first of all, how can overcoming so like your advice,
how can overcoming the fear of asking for help right,
the fear of stepping out of the box, the fear
of just doing the thing that you've never done right? How,
in your opinion, can that help transform someone's business right

(54:42):
and expand their business? Like what is your final thought
on that for them? For like a planner? Like who's scared?
Who may have the information, may not have the information?
Like talk to the people.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
I well, me personal is that you have to be
uncomfortable if you are not uncomfortable, And I never understood
that when people said that, Like I'm like, what do
you mean uncomfortable?

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Right?

Speaker 3 (55:09):
Because if you're if you're comfortable, then you're not you're
not doing anything to move farther, you know, and you
can only go back and just be, you know, and
be upset with yourself, you know, and then you sit there.
Let's say you go to a networking event and I
love when I get the list ahead of time to
see you. I need to meet this person, this person,
this person, this person. Now do I get there? And

(55:30):
I do right away? No, I don't. I feel I
feel the audience out I chat with people that I
already know. I slowly move myself over and then you
just start talking to the people. When I first started networking,
now I just will I just will go over. Hey,
how you doing? How you's? Oh? It's good. But what
I do is I research researched them on Facebook and

(55:51):
be like, oh I saw a little one. They're getting
so big. Oh you guys went to Germany? How was that?
But I am so uncomfortable during that time that I'm
being myself. So by allowing you to be yourself is
allowing that connection to make and you can only you
are your business. And fear is only because of unknown.

(56:17):
That's what fear is. It's only unknown. And so when
you start to fear that you know, you say to
your this is what I say to myself. I'm I'm
working myself up for something that I have that has
not happened. I have not met that person. That day
has not come yet. Why why do I feel like

(56:38):
this what I'm fearing? It's the unknown. It's the unknown.
If you walk up to this person that they're going
to say hi to you. It's the unknown if you
reach out to this person, if they respond, it's the
unknown of where your business is going. You know, there's
some you know a lot of people they leave their
nine to five to go full force with their fear.

(57:00):
So it's their business. So it's the unknown of knowing
is the leads going to come in? We're going to
be able to maintain our lifestyle, and I'm gonna be
able to maintain my sanity. I have to after this
like your you, ourselves is putting that in our mind
to keep and we are we are our wall. And

(57:22):
so when you get like that, I always tell people say,
like I say, I'm what I'm afraid of? Right, it
did not happen yet, and just keep saying that over
and over and over and over and over again, because
God do not put fear in us. If it's meant

(57:44):
for us, it will be for us. And again if
it doesn't happen, it's just not your season. But that
doesn't mean you stop. You say, Okay, I'll wait and
I'll try again tomorrow or I'll try again another quarter.
But just keep telling yourself positive and affirmations are very
big yes, I have affirmations in my bathroom that I

(58:04):
say over and over again. My kids look at me
like I'm weird, but I also it's just affirmations of
just trying to get through the day. Just pick one
or two of parts of your life. If it's self
care that you're trying to do, is finances, if it's business,
pick one or two affirmations that sticks out and put
it in front of your computer. Put it. It's in

(58:28):
my bathroom because that's where we live ninety percent of
the time. Because my children, it's just what we do,
you know. So in the morning time when you're brushing
your teeth and you rush your face and you don't,
they're there right. The other thing is I listen to
a podcast every morning. I get up in the morning
and I've turned on a gospel podcasts and then I

(58:50):
turn on gospel music. And so that's how we get
ready in the morning time to keep the energy going
going in the positivity. And those that do have children, right,
they are listening because there's things that they will say.
My kids be like, Mom, what what do they mean
by this? And I was like, oh, are actually listening,
m h. But it's more you know, helping you start

(59:14):
your day so you don't put that fear. And it
can be that email that you have to send that client.
It can be and don't send it. Just talk to
yourself and walk away, do something else, come back until
you get your self leveled, and then send that email.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
I love it. I mean, yeah, I just love it.
I mean it could be an affirmation. It could be
you know, one of my coaches calls it confirmations like
biblical confirmations, Like if there's something that you're struggling with,
go find a scripture for it. Yes, taste it everywhere
like I'm fearfully and wonderfully made right. That's just what
it is. Affirmation scripture. Whatever you have to do to

(59:52):
get your days that started, talk to yourself or have
you know, have trusted people that you would be like, gir,
I'm having a bad moment and he's wide right. And
you know the worst thing is if you don't try
the thing that you're scared of, then the only failure
is you like that's the thing, Like it's like the
only thing you failed at was not doing it because

(01:00:14):
he was like, well, I'm afraid I'm gonna fail. But no,
they say you fail forward, right, you don't fail, you
know because they're like, oh, you learn from that, and
then next time you do it, you're gonna do it
differently and you're gonna do it better. You're gonna seek
the guidance and all that good stuff. So you but yeah,
you have to sometimes coach yourself through it because listen,
but my believer is out there. The enemy is real

(01:00:34):
and he ain't clever. He ain't clever. He comes here
the kills with a steel cum destroyed and he just
and especially if you're saying that stuff out loud, you're
just given it. You're just giving him power, right, You're
giving him power because you're gonna work with that. And
then if you have little ones, they're watching. So for
those of us that have daughters, I said daughters primarily,
sons also, but daughters primarily like you know our nieces, right,

(01:00:57):
little cousins that are watching you do your thing, whether
you're working you know, your your business part time, you're
working your investor job full time, like there's people around you.
So how you talk to yourself out loud or sometimes
in your deepest thoughts. I've had times where the kids
have said something to me. Like affirming me or like

(01:01:18):
hyping me up Sonia. And it's funny because I'm just
like I was just thinking that in my head. So
I'm like, all right, God, I got you. You know,
I feel like, you know, like out of the blue
or I've opened up my emergency kit and got a
little post to the mommy, You're the best planner in
Atlanta and you know, And when I got planned the
year in Atlanta in twenty twenty one and I came out,
I was crying. I came out and to the kids

(01:01:39):
that were like like the kids and my husband all
looked at me like like no one was shocked. And
that was like They're like duh, you know, like duh.
So yeah, like get just have a cheerleading squad and
if you don't have one at home, gather your own,
curate your own cheerleading squad. Yeah, that will say like
the acronym of fear, Like I know, I don't know

(01:02:01):
if anyone's ever heard of this day, but the acronym
of fear is false evidence appearing real.

Speaker 3 (01:02:07):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
That's what that is, false evidence of appearing real, Like
it's not real. And I do it like you go
down this rabbit hole. And I feel like pianners do
it a lot because we are logical. We are you know,
problem solvers. We think that, you know, we think everything
through from A to Z and in between, and we
over we're overseers of so much stuff that it's like, well,

(01:02:30):
you do the same thing. Well if I do this,
how about this? If I do this, how about that?
And sometimes we get stuck on one thing and it's like, well,
you didn't do this one thing. So if you don't
do this one thing, it's a dominal effect. If you
don't tap that first domino, the rest of them are
not going to fall right Like, they're not gonna fall.
So we need to just like I think USA like
talk to yourself, play music. I told my coaching group

(01:02:52):
the other day that unfollow those people that give you anxiety,
like those people that you I call it over comparison disorder. Oh,
you know, like stop over comparing it because you don't
know their story, their full story, And we're only putting
the highlight reels out there. Right My pastor says, nobody
posts about the fight that they had in the car,

(01:03:12):
but they'll post a cute outfit on Sunday morning.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's that's so true. I just
and I look and people. I remember having a conversation
with a neighbor and they said, oh, look at that.
They're so happy and they're look at the family, and
I said, you live with them. They said no. I said,
you don't know what happens when they when the doors closed.
There is no perfect, nothing that's perfect. You don't know

(01:03:36):
what's going on in there. And sure not even a
couple of weeks after that there was drama. I said, see,
stop looking at what's on the outside.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Oh my gosh. Yes, So tell us a friend, any
upcoming projects or events that you're working on that you're
excited about, and then how can our listeners keep up
with you?

Speaker 3 (01:03:58):
Yeah. So, I am actually working on a series called
Mastering Soul Parenting. So I have completed the first It's
like it's gonna be short stories, the first part of it.
So we will be launching that out there soon and
then I'm just gonna we'll be adding as the journey
goes on of building a business and parenting at the

(01:04:21):
same time, and just being real, just letting everyone know
that the journey and the obstacles that have come in
the way and you know, the the learning curves that
I've learned through it all. I will actually also be
talking March fifth. There's a conference coming to Orlando called
Wedding and Cyder Conference March fourth through sixth, so I

(01:04:45):
will be speaking on parenting and boundaries at that conference.
And then I will be I've been asked to speak
about event sitting at a nanti agency, so we'll be
actually next weekend, so we will will be speaking on that.
That's a virtual conference that I'll be talking at is

(01:05:05):
called the Nanny Agency Summit August eighth through that's eleventh,
and it's my birthday, so it's okay, we gotta do
sometimes we gotta do. We're celebrating the weekend after so
and hopefully you know, soon we'll slowly be launching a
coaching business for you know, individuals that are looking to

(01:05:28):
either get into the vent industry or just trying to
navigate the event as a parent.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
And she has a parent, so proud of you. I'm
so proud of you, and I'll make cruit it. We
tag and include your website and all your Instagram handles
also in the show notes, so that everyone could kind
of follow you and if you're in suchral Florida or
in Jersey, get her up for event sitting services and

(01:05:55):
her team is amazing and so is she. Thank you,
so wow, what an incredible conversation we had today with Tunisia.
Your insights on overcoming the fear of asking for help
and embracing vulnerability have truly resonated with me, and I
know with many of our listeners your journey from facing
challenges and becoming successful entrepreneur is nothing short of inspiring.

(01:06:19):
As we wrap up, I want to leave our listeners
with this powerful message. Seeking help and being open about
our struggles can transform not only your business, but also
your personal growth. By stepping into vulnerability, we create authentic
connections and build stronger, more meaningful relationships that propel us forward.

(01:06:39):
Thank you Tuanisia for sharing your story and wisdom with
us today. If our listeners are eager to connect with you,
I'll make sure that your Instagram handles are in our
show notes. And to everyone tuning in, remember that ever're
coming your fears and asking for support is a crucial
step towards achieving your dreams. Stay fearless, stay connected, and

(01:07:04):
keep growing Until next time, I'm Irene Tindel and this
has been another episode of Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind.
Take care and keep shining in your journey. Hey, their insiders.
Big news for all you wedding planners out there.

Speaker 4 (01:07:20):
Whether you're kickstarting your business and pushing for growth or
aiming to scale up, you've got to check out Becoming
the business retreat for wedding planners. It's happening January thirty
first through February third, twenty twenty five in Atlanta, Georgia.

Speaker 2 (01:07:36):
We've got three.

Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
Peck days of workshops, networking, and yes, some pretty fun
nights too. Learn from top industry pros, meet planners at
all stages, and take your business to the next level.
Spaces are limited, so hop on over to irenetindell dot
com ord Slash Retreat to grab your spot. Don't miss
out on making twenty twenty five the year you've really

(01:07:59):
should one

Speaker 3 (01:08:03):
M

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Ep. 5 - Overcoming The Fear of Asking For Help with Tyneshia Perine, Owner of Tootles Event Sitters

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Ep. 5 - Overcoming The Fear of Asking For Help with Tyneshia Perine, Owner of Tootles Event Sitters