S2 Ep. 2 - The Mental Weight of Building & Running a Transformative Business with Hadassah Joseph - Inside The Wedding Planner's Mind

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind with Irene Tyndale,
Chief Event Officer of Irene Tyndale Weddings and Events. All right,
missus Tyndale, let's get to it.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hey, hey friends, welcome back to the Inside a Wedding
Planner's Mind. I'm your host, Irene Tyndale, and today's episode
is extra special. If you're new here, welcome, and if
you've been rocking with us in season one, I'm so
glad you're back for season two because this season we're
going deeper into what it really takes to build air
business with purpose, power and peace.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Now, let's talk about becoming the business retreat for wedding planners.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Twenty twenty five, before our attendees ever arrived in Atlanta,
we hosted a series of powerful pre retreat webinars to
help them prepare mentally, emotionally, and strategically for the experience.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
We hosted about six sessions.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
In total, and over the next few weeks, I'm going
to be sharing a few of those with you. Because
the breakthroughs didn't just happen in the room, they started
long before takeoff. Today's episode is one of those sessions
and it's one that is powerful. You're about to hear
from the incredible Hadassa Joseph, who led the session titled

(01:17):
the Mental Weight of Building and Running a Transformative Business.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
See.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Hadassa has been with us at the very start of
this retreat. She has been opening us up in prayer,
setting the tone.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
But in this session she went deeper.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
She gave a voice to the mental, emotional, and spiritual
load that many women entrepreneurs, especially women of color, carry
every single day while trying to build something bigger than themselves.
So whether you're driving, walking, or sitting in your office,
give yourself the space to receive this one. Let a

(01:56):
minister to your mind and pour into your spirit. Afternoon, ladies,
Good afternoon, and thank you for joining me for another
pre retreat session.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Today. We're in for retreat.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Missus Ha Dasa Joseph is a dear friend and I
don't even know how we got connected now I'm trying
to take that up the other day, but we've known
each other for quite some time and she blessed us
to be a part of the first retreat. When I
posted that I was doing the first retreat in twenty
twenty one, she was like, how can I help you,
and how can I assist the ladies. She is a

(02:28):
mental health expert. She's an efficient she what you call it.
She does pre medal counseling with couples, which is amazing.
She's officiated so many of our weddings in the past,
and we did a lot of weddings together during the
pandemic in twenty twenty because we were doing lots of
micro and mini weddings and she was efficient in our package.

(02:49):
So we actually got to see each other.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Masked up. But praise God, we're over those those that hump.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
She's been a great friend, a great confidant, a sister
in Christ, a fellow mom you know of teenagers and
little people. So it has been great. She prays with
me and prays over me, prays for everybody that attends
this retreat, from attendees to sponsors, to speakers to vendors.

(03:20):
She opens up our sessions every day of the retreat
in twenty twenty one with stretching and meditation and devotionals
and all that good stuff. And then she opens us
up last year in twenty twenty four for the retreat then, and.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
She will be with us for twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
But I thought that this was a really great idea
since our topic for our theme for twenty twenty five
is departure to your dream, right, the journey of entrepreneurship,
the journey to becoming better CEOs, becoming better planners, becoming
better women, becoming better wives, et cetera, et cetera, And
so you know, all of that takes mental fortitude.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
It really does. Right every stage in life.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
I laugh when I have I come in contact with
people that have children that are young, either babies or
toddlers or like little kids, and they're exhausted, and I say, yes,
you will be physically exhausted for many years, I said,
but those mental exhaustion with the teenage years is a
completely different thing. And every time I see the little people,
I'm just like, I actually miss them being that little,

(04:22):
you know, you know, I really do these day and
age I do. But then it's the same thing like
when I'm coaching people and someone is in the startup
phase and they and they, you know, the stresses of
startup versus scaling, versus growth.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
It's very it's very unique.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
And I and I you know, always say I am
full transparency with my coaching clients, with this community, with
the people that attend becoming. I said, believe me, there's
days I don't feel like doing what I have to
do right. There's not anybody that coach that that's having.
They're like, I'm spiraling and they're having. It's a moment.

(05:00):
It's just a moment in time. Don't claim a day,
don't claim a season, and it is a moment.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Feel the feelings.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
I heard doctor Nita Phillips say the other day, Hadasa dead,
we it's okay to have feelings and have like a
mental moment of like, oh my gosh, what am I doing?
It's heavy, et cetera. She's like Jesus did think about
when he was in the garden in simity, he not
like I always that scripture is always so powerful to

(05:28):
me because Jesus did not skip to the cross on
cavalry y'all.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Like he He wasn't like I'm.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
About to be crucified and he was no ma'am. He
was like, Daddy, I don't want this, but if is, YO,
will let.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
It be done right.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
And so that always makes it like I always wonder
why I was always attracted to that.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
And she said, there was times. If you look through.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Those three or four short years of his ministry, he
had moments he cried when people close to him die.
He had those moments of Oh, my Lord. And if
you think about it, his first miracle, which is great
because we're wedding planners, was turning water into wine. Ata
what wedding And if you read this, he wasn't ready

(06:11):
to do that miracle.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
His mama. She pushed him and.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Literally we Dwayne was talking to Isaiah the other day
a few months back and was like, your mom is
a pusher. Your mom is an encourager to She encourages clients.
She's like, if you're in her circle, she's gonna push you,
encourage you, help, help, find the helpers for you. Like
what you need the resources? He says, it's no bother.
He goes, God gave you the best mother you can be,
And at that moment it literally hit my spirit. I

(06:37):
was like, Mary, them push Jesus. So I'm gonna be
pushing you for the rest of your life.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Whether you like it or not. That is my job, right,
that is my gifting, and that is my job.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
So all that to say that he had doubt, he
had doubtful moments, he had heartache, he had like, Okay,
I don't want to do this, And I mean, if
I'm watching the show The Chosen, like we watched that
with the kids, and the kids, you know when we
started watching it, like learning about the Disciples cracked them
up because they were like, they're they're a mess.

Speaker 3 (07:07):
So I was like, yes, they were.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
And in real life I would have gotten rid of
all of them one hundred percent. They would have drove
me crazy. But I was like, if Jesus had a posse,
a squad, a group, a team, whatever you want to
call it, and he had helpers and there's times where
he had to manage them and manage finances and manage
you know, where they were going to next.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
And all that stuff. We're no different than that, right,
We're all different than that.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
So thank you Hodly Spirit for that, because that was
not on my agenda to talk about. But all that
to say that anything they were going to do in life,
whether it's just living our life as women, as mothers
and daughters and sisters, et cetera, and as business owners,
it's going to take mental fortitudes. So without further ado,
and it's my full pleasure to.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Introduce missus hot Dasa Joseph. So, missus Heddasa Joseph.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
This is being recorded not only for our pre retreat sessions,
but it's our podcast episode for Inside.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
The Wedding Planner's Mind.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
And so we're going to share this intimate conversation that
we're having today about mental capacity, mental fortitude, the mental
you know, stamina that we need as business owner. And
I honestly let's I'm gonna keep it one hundred percent real,
not only as business owners, as women of color and
women of faith. So I'm passing it on to you.

(08:25):
Tell the people a little bit about yourself. List at
all your credentials, all that sexy stuff that you went
to school for, and I'm gonna hand it over to you.

Speaker 4 (08:33):
All right.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
So today we're gonna talk about and there's some interaction.
I'm gonna share a little bit on mental weight. What's
that mental weight that comes with running and building. I
call it a transformative business, right because that's what we do.
We transform lives. I mean, we get to do it

(08:57):
from a beautiful creative space.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
And so.

Speaker 5 (09:03):
A little bit about me. My name is had As Joseph.
I'm a therapist, by profession, but also I really did
such a wonderful job, but weding efficient and I got
into the business of weddings because I usually see couples
come for couple therapy, and so I wanted to see

(09:24):
the beautiful side, like before they come to my office.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
How does it start? Where does it begin? You know,
there's all the beautiful love stories.

Speaker 5 (09:33):
And so I started my journey as efficient and then
gradually I noticed there were a few gaps that couples
were missing or not hitting in the beginning stages. And
also in working with couples, I got to network with
wedding planners and managers and seals and vendors, and then

(09:55):
I started hearing a little bit of how can we
take care of ourselves a little bit better? So I said, okay,
well we probably need to have a little conversation about
mental health awareness, or we can take care of ourselves,
because when we take care of ourselves, we take.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Care of our team and our clients.

Speaker 5 (10:15):
So today the goal is to acknowledge and understand the
real mental health challenges specific to wedding industry. Leaders explore
some evidence based strategies to work that you can use
and implement in your business and to equip you with practical,
implementable tools that you can starts as quick as tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
I'm hoping at the end that you have.

Speaker 5 (10:42):
A clear understanding as to what can we define as
a mental burden or heaviness. Explore a little bit about
what are some of the tools we can put in our.

Speaker 4 (10:56):
Toolkit to manage better and what are.

Speaker 5 (10:58):
Some actionable steps you can take, because we want to
hit off twenty twenty five with a band.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
We already started.

Speaker 5 (11:05):
If you're going to the conference coming up soon in
a couple of days, you're already doing an awesome job
at that. Let's talk a little bit about the industry
and what does that look like, what are some of
the mental burdens that we sometimes faced, and so I'm

(11:25):
going to try to come with I like resources, like
to back up a little bit of the information. So
I'm just going to give us a few starts and
then we can discuss or share towards the ending.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
So, according to the.

Speaker 5 (11:42):
Wedding Industry Survey Wedding Industry Mental Health Survey conducted in
twenty twenty three, seventy six of wedding professionals reported burnout
eighty two percent work more than fifty hours during peak season.
Sixty eight percent report it sleep disturbances through the busy

(12:03):
busy periods, and seventy one percent.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Reported struggle with work life boundaries.

Speaker 5 (12:11):
And seventy six percent of professionals reported burnout symptoms. And
if for some reason, if you can identify with any
of these, let me know in the child or we
can always discuss it towards the end.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
But we face some critical I would say.

Speaker 5 (12:37):
Mental health burdens as wedding professionals. But sometimes it goes
or notice because we are so busy managing everything, or
were some of us we don't have the language, or
we don't have the time. It feels like we don't
have the time to stop, pause, assess, and then make

(12:58):
the necessary changes.

Speaker 4 (13:00):
So I wanted to stop a little bit before I
go into it.

Speaker 5 (13:05):
There's this word that I came across in Greek, is
taken from Hebrews chapter.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Twelve, verse one.

Speaker 5 (13:11):
And if you will indulge me, I'm gonna just share
a little bit, And got to bring in a little
bit of the word in In Hebrews chapter twelve, verse one,
it says, therefore, since we are surrounded by such a
great cloud, of weaknesses.

Speaker 4 (13:29):
Let us throw off.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
Everything that hinders and the sin that's so easily entangle us,
and let us run with perseverance the race mapped out
for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
The piner and the perfector of faith. Okay, And so.

Speaker 5 (13:46):
I wanted to just focus a little bit on verse one.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
That word burden in verse one. It's it's the Greek.

Speaker 5 (13:57):
Word is called augus or gko, and it's not really
a scene, but it's just something that keeps you back.
So if you have to think of it, it's like,
let's say, if you are a runner, and sometimes you
add those extra weights to you, right, the weight is

(14:17):
not going to prevent you from reaching your destination, but
it can slow you down. Right, So, agos or burden
is almost like an additional weight, additional mass that's there.
And so my question to us is what are some
of the agos or the burdens that we carry in

(14:43):
our businesses. Some of us may carry physical burdens, some
of us may carry spiritual burdens, some of us may
carry mental burdens or cognitive or business burdens. And so
I'm just gonna give you some times to just reflect
and see if you can identify what are some of

(15:04):
those burdens or a lighter word that we could use
is what are some of those weights that you notice
in your business.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
For when you're carrying your day to day.

Speaker 5 (15:18):
And like I said, some of them could be creative pressure,
balancing work life.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
Sometimes we feel the burden.

Speaker 5 (15:26):
Of leading, even if we may have a team. Some
of us may have a team whatever the size may be,
or some of us we.

Speaker 4 (15:34):
Might be in the beginning stages of.

Speaker 5 (15:38):
Putting our business together and running it, so some of
us it might just be us and another partner or
just us, and so we have to wear all these
multiple hats, and so that sometimes can feel like a weight.

Speaker 4 (15:52):
But I don't want us to look at the weight.

Speaker 5 (15:54):
As just as it was said in the scripture, the
weight is not something that is negative. If we're gonna
flip that and see it as an opportunity. If you
can identify, I think that's half the battle.

Speaker 4 (16:07):
If you can.

Speaker 5 (16:08):
Identify what that weight is, what's causing it, and then
we're going to use it to our advantage.

Speaker 4 (16:13):
And see how can we flip it.

Speaker 5 (16:15):
It's there to strengthen, strengthen those cognitive muscles, strengthen those
business muscles.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
It's going to open.

Speaker 5 (16:24):
Our eyes to how maybe we need to delegate better,
Maybe we need to find better systems, Maybe we need
to find how to balance work life and better. Right, So,
whatever the weight is, it's not something negative, but it's
an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and

(16:45):
our business.

Speaker 4 (16:47):
So that's not a nice way to look at it.

Speaker 5 (16:50):
I noticed there's an impact impact triangle.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
And so whatever those weights.

Speaker 5 (16:55):
Are, some of it fall on the leader, some for
on the company, and then some faults on the client. Right,
So if you can see the screen, we have some
of the impact that these mental weights can add on
a leader is ah sorry, decision fatigue, compassion fatigue, perfectionism,

(17:20):
and boundary erosion.

Speaker 4 (17:23):
So sometimes if we don't have.

Speaker 5 (17:27):
What do we call it our systems and processes in place,
we may flip flop back and forth what we should
not do, what we should do. That's why it's so
critical to find yourself a tribe like this, some type
of organization or mental who can help you when it
comes to the in when you can make up your

(17:48):
mind on certain things or you need some support. Compassion fatigue,
that usually happens when we're in the people business. So
we're gonna ow our businesses to serve, and sometimes we
serve to the extent where we put ourselves on the
back burner and we serve our clients, we serve our families,

(18:09):
we serve everyone but ourselves, and that in itself afterwards,
it does not look much like compassion. But I usually
say it looks like a matter because you're just taking
on everything and typically that is due to lack of boundaries.
We can still operate in a place of servitude and

(18:30):
still maintain our boundaries where we do not get compassion
for tig because eventually what can happen. Compassion for tig
would lead to burn out and that's a place that
you don't want.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
To go right.

Speaker 5 (18:45):
And then we have perfectionism, perfectionism where everything has to
be perfect, top tier, and that doesn't mean we don't
you should not have a standard.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
But you also need some flexibility.

Speaker 5 (19:02):
That's where the mindfulness comes in, because when we are
down to the wire and to the crunch in this
type of business, you have to learn how to be flexible.
You have to learn how to let things flow and
practice a little bit of acceptance sometimes we have to
practice non judgment and a great example of this is

(19:24):
whenever we're working with our clients. Sometimes the day of
the wedding, we may have a client that's just huffing
and puffing, and everything that you created, you agreed upon
on the day, it's not the way that they want
it right, and so that's when we need to exercise
compassion towards our clients, but at the same time, not

(19:48):
at the expense of putting yourself behind or your team right.
So that's when we need to learn the boundaries. That's
when we need to learn to take those mindful moments.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
That's when we need to.

Speaker 5 (20:00):
Know how to be set, how to be flexible, how
to see our clients as our clients are, not placed
any judgment or animosity towards them, and try to move
on for other day. So that's just a brief example.
The next one is company impact. When we have mental

(20:21):
weights in our day to day I'm running off our
business and building our business, it can take a toll
on the team, moral, productivity, innovation, and culture. If you
have a leader who is tired. We talked about being

(20:43):
tired burnout, very unrealistic idea of what this supposed to be.
Whether there's no flexibility or room for growth, your team
members are going to feel it. They're gonna be very fearful.
They're just gonna do everything to the tea. There's no loyalty, productivity.

(21:06):
Some people might call out if the if the environment
is hostile, if you're the one who's just doing and
creating and not delegating or living space for them for
your team to interact with you, then there's there will
be there won't be any innovation. Right, So this is
how burnout starting from the leader or burnout burnout can

(21:29):
trickle down to the company. And guess what, it doesn't
just stop there. It can You can feel it sometimes
or someone who is very aware can see how it
can impact the client.

Speaker 4 (21:43):
Where it would be the quality of service right, the.

Speaker 5 (21:46):
Communication or poor communication, trust and expectations. The way that
it can show up when it comes to service of quality.
Sometimes if we are too rigid and we are feeling
all this pressure, right, all this with mental with in

(22:08):
carrying out the wedding for the day or the event
for the day, we are so rigid that the quality
is missing a piece of human interaction you're seeing it
can give us the opportunity where we just see our
clients as a client and not a person, and we

(22:28):
never want to go to that route where we just
see them as a number or a client. We want
to see our clients or couples as persons. Who is
getting married, who has this wedding experience if you can.
Someone shared a great example with me recently, and I

(22:51):
also saw this on Instagram where someone said, my best
advice to couples out there.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
Is to get a wedding planner.

Speaker 5 (23:02):
I'm seeing a lot of wedding couples who are just
stressed out. The only thing that they have right now
is a venue, if.

Speaker 4 (23:12):
They have that.

Speaker 5 (23:13):
Seeing the political climate that we're in and the economic climate,
the person was saying that the couples are very stressed out, anxiety,
having anxiety, don't know where to start, et cetera. And
so the advice that was given or was shared on
Instagram was please get.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
A wedding planner.

Speaker 5 (23:34):
And what I shared with the group, you don't even
before you can even think of a wedding planner, what
you want to address first is where the client is at.
In therapy, we talk about that meet your client, or
for us, we see a patient, but for you meet
your client where the where your client is at. So

(23:58):
right now, then not even the client or the couple
is not even concerned about the venue and the meal
and the decorations and the design.

Speaker 4 (24:09):
They're stressed. And if you, as the.

Speaker 5 (24:14):
Wedding planner, the wedding designer, the owner of your business,
if you can exercise some emotional intelligence and tap into
that and see the person in front of you and
not not the prospective client, but the person's in front
of you and tap into that, that in itself can
release some weight for your couple and for you. Right So,

(24:39):
what I told, what I encourage the person who was
talking on Instagram? I said, the best thing you can
do for them is addressed the stress and the anxiety.
Why are you feeling stressed? Why are you anxious? How
can I help you? Who I can connect you with?
And I said, somebody who can help with that is
a wedding advocate. Or if you don't have a wedding

(25:01):
advocate somewhere in your business model, you should have some
tools or resources or somebody you can call on if
you don't have the skills yourself, who can tap into
the ease put the clients that ease and then move
on with the wedding planning, right So, and that in
itself will improve the quality of service that you get

(25:26):
because your client is going to see that you're not
just concern about the numbers, but your concerned about their
mental health, their wellness as well as yours.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Some of the burdens or the wits that we can
feel in.

Speaker 5 (25:47):
Building and building a transformative business. We talk about the
leader impact, the company impact, and then we say this.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Can also trickle down to the client.

Speaker 5 (25:59):
Is the way that we can communicate as leaders, as professionals,
how we communicate with our clients. If we're already burned out, Right,
if we're already feeling the stress of how to put
out three, four, five, ten fires, by the time we
come to our clients, we're like what. Or by the
time we come to our team members who are something else,
we're like, huh, what is it?

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Why?

Speaker 4 (26:21):
You guys can handle this?

Speaker 5 (26:22):
Right, So we need to be mindful of those things.
We need to have tools in place that when we
feel those burdens, when we feel those weights, we know
how to address it so it won't take it won't
have a negative impact on the service quality, the communication,

(26:45):
and also the expectations of our clients. I hope this
is making making some sense, guys. So let's talk a
little bit about how those we talk about mental weights,
mental burdens.

Speaker 4 (26:59):
That we we can feel.

Speaker 5 (27:03):
When we're dealing with for our businesses. We're gonna talk
a little bit of how this can manifest. What are
some of the physical manifestations that we can see. It
is said, our bodies often signal what our mind is
trying to ignore.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
Right. Have you ever seen.

Speaker 5 (27:26):
Like you asked someone a question and they're saying yeah,
but they're headed. They're saying yes, but they head they're
shaking their head no. Right, So it's like you're trying,
you're saying one thing, what your body is giving giving
a different signal. Right, So, our bodies often signal what
our mind is trying to ignore. The physical tool of

(27:47):
industry stress is real and measurable.

Speaker 4 (27:50):
These unju statistics, these are real.

Speaker 5 (27:53):
Symptoms affecting professionals in our industry. So let's look at
some of the numbers we have set. Twenty eight percent
experience frequent headaches, sixty five percent report back and neck paints,
especially standings for long periods fifty nine percent have digestive

(28:16):
issues and seventy two percent reported chronic fatigue physical fatigue.
And we notice physical fatigue, emotional fatigue, models cognitive fatigue
that we.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
Just spoke about, excuse me.

Speaker 5 (28:35):
So these are some of the ways that the physical
manifestation of.

Speaker 4 (28:42):
We can call it stress can show For some people.

Speaker 5 (28:45):
Some of the symptoms that we can see excessive sweating.
Excessive sweating, tapping, some people they tap a lot, tap
their feet.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
Sometimes we may have gi issues.

Speaker 5 (29:03):
And even if you've been doing weddings for home long,
these things can still show up. These symptoms of manifestations
can still show up. Some of us being we said headaches,
sweat a lot, tap and bite our inner cheeks. What
else nail biting some of us this this is we

(29:24):
may pull out over here or toilet when we are thinking.
These are some of the way physically that we can
see the signs that we are on the stress.

Speaker 4 (29:35):
Or having burnt out. But I want us not.

Speaker 5 (29:40):
Only just focus on the physical aspect, but what are
some of the cognitive stuff that we may experience. Some
of us we are very good at masking. So even
if our bodies it's trying to tell us like, hey,
pay attention to this. I'm feeling a little bit flushed,
or I'm feeling.

Speaker 4 (30:02):
Increased heart rate.

Speaker 5 (30:03):
We are so busy getting things done, especially if we're
working with on the crunch time, we sometimes ignore those
signs cognitively. Some people may not may ignore those signs,
but they're having these thoughts up here, right. We call

(30:24):
them ruminating thoughts. So you're doing your work, but in
your head, you're like, this is not gonna go as planned,
this person is not gonna like this design, or I should.

Speaker 4 (30:35):
Have done this better right, and this in itself.

Speaker 5 (30:38):
Having those ruminating thoughts can take its toll on us
over time. It can deplete our confidence. It can deplete
the way that we.

Speaker 4 (30:46):
Show up right.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
So again we're we are showing up one way, but
our body cannot read a total different story.

Speaker 4 (30:55):
Most another. I'm trying to think of some.

Speaker 5 (30:58):
Other cognitive cognitive manifestations that we have besides ruminating thoughts.
Behavior Wise, we may be, like we said, we may
act one way. We might show that we are engaged
and we are positive, but sometimes when stress is at

(31:20):
a high level, we may fin our seals finding other
ways to cope. Whether the it's like on our phone,
Biting our nails were not for.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
Smoke or something of.

Speaker 5 (31:31):
The stuff like that, right, So whatever it is, these
are normal, right. I don't want to also think that
because we're doing those things that something is wrong. These
symptoms or manifestations, they are normal. The only time I
usually say to my clients when it should probably be

(31:51):
super concerned is if it's affecting your production.

Speaker 4 (31:56):
So let's say you have to talk to a client,
but your nerves are.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
So bad that you keep postponing the date or something
like that or pushing back, then that's not only affecting
your coins, but it's also affecting your productivity. If you're
noticing something like that, then it's good to talk to
a therapist or a wellness coach or something like that to.

Speaker 4 (32:20):
Help you that process.

Speaker 5 (32:21):
But apart from that, some of those manifestations that we
talked about, these are normal, and it's just up to
you now to listen to your body, listen to your mind,
because it's telling me something.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
It's trying to communicate a need.

Speaker 5 (32:39):
So, for example, if we notice that frequent headaches, seventy
eight percent experience frequent headaches, you need to start asking
yourself if you're one of those people who fall in
that category.

Speaker 4 (32:51):
What is causing the headache?

Speaker 5 (32:53):
What part of the planning process is causing the headache?
Where am I seeing an increase in headaches?

Speaker 4 (32:59):
And what am I doing right? Don't just ignore it?

Speaker 5 (33:02):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'll take something later, or no, put
something in your backpack, in your purse, in your planet's bag,
knowing that maybe at a certain point of the day
I get headaches. I'm gonna pack some medication to help
with that, or whatever it is that you prefer to
you use to manage your headaches.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
Sixty five percent reported.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Back and neck pain where your braces to support your
body g I fifty nine percent have digestive issues because
we are constantly on the goal. And I don't think
that it's just a wedding planner, wedding professional think. I
think just the way that America is set up. We
are constantly on the goal. Sometimes I work enough to

(33:49):
force myself to eat an apple, and I'm working in
mental health, and I'm like, come on, you can be
telling people to take care of self and you're.

Speaker 4 (33:57):
Not taking taking care of self.

Speaker 5 (34:00):
So pack little snacks, had them in your office or
in your backpack, or in your in your car when
you're running those.

Speaker 4 (34:09):
How do we call it? I mean you might have
to help me. What do we call those? When you
do a.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Show your booths or use a way emergency kid.

Speaker 5 (34:18):
You know, like when you're showing your couples a prospective.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
Location, what do you call those visits? Right?

Speaker 5 (34:27):
So, if you know you're doing one of those packed
extra snacks and you can pack something for your client,
do you just thin case because you don't want to
be the only one just munching away? Right? And then lastly,
seventy two percent experience some type of chronic fatigue. What
is it that you're doing to help with that fatigue

(34:47):
before after wedding planning season or what are you doing
throughout the season to help you back? So these are
some things that you can think about. So we kind
of went over it already. I have solution framework. Now
that we have the stats as to how the burnouts

(35:09):
or the weights, the mental weights that we can feel
or they show up, what are some of the things
that we can do to ease that or reduce it.
We have mindful leadership, So our our leaders, our managers,
our CEOs of the of the beautiful companies that we
will run. We need to have a mindful approach to leadership,

(35:31):
set boundaries with our clients, with our team, and that
can look like there's a certain time you may answer
emails or phone calls or delegators and tasks to people,
which gives you some space.

Speaker 4 (35:46):
To do what you really what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 5 (35:50):
I like to I like number three. It's as spiritual
connection practice. And for me, spirituality might look different from
someone else a faith based person, but for some people
they may not be of a Judy or Christian or
Christian backgrounds.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
But whatever it is, if you have.

Speaker 5 (36:11):
Some type of spiritual practice, then do that incorporate that
as part of your as part of your wellness approach
to helping yourself. And that could be things like besides
studying the world, besides having a devotion a prison worship,

(36:32):
that could be going for also look like going for walks,
that could be like having a coffee date with a friend.
That could look like journaling, going in the park, taking
some time in nature, slowing down.

Speaker 4 (36:47):
And it does not have to be like a whole.

Speaker 5 (36:51):
Let's say whole events with your phone. Look at me now,
taking some time in the past, in need. Just sitting
on your deck, even if it's for five minutes, three minutes,
as long as it's intentional, you need to take that
time for yourself and reconnect, and that will help the

(37:12):
mind and body to slow down a bit and reset.
Physical wellness integration. That's another component that you can add
to your tool kit.

Speaker 4 (37:22):
That could look like going to the gym, taking a
particular class, going for a walk.

Speaker 5 (37:29):
Maybe if you can go outside, maybe working on your treadmill.
But some type of physical components because you you'll be
amassed the things that you learn.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
I think for me right now, just having some type of.

Speaker 5 (37:43):
Physical element is teaching me discipline, Like you have to
be disciplined. That's if you want to run a business,
if you want to show up for your clients.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
You need discipline. And so.

Speaker 5 (37:56):
Having disclosing right there, having eighty HD. Sometimes I don't
know how.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
Many of us.

Speaker 5 (38:06):
Diagnosed with ADHD or know someone, but when you when
you have that type of cognitive cognitive challenge or condition,
sometimes you can be very very hot about something very
interesting and then sometimes you're just doing the love when
you get bored if it doesn't hold interest, and that's

(38:28):
very hard for someone who is running a business, especially
if that's your sole income, or even if it's not
your soul income, but it's it's your business, that's money investing.
And yes, sometimes we may show up, but still we
because we're going through those those moments, those mental weight
Sometimes we're not fully present, right. So that's why we

(38:52):
need things like physical exercise to get us to get
us going. And it helps in that aspect. It gives
us the seral those the docomains, all those good hormones
that we need to keep moving. And also it teaches us,
just like our spiritual aspects, it teaches us that this
is not about one thing and heal it and that's

(39:13):
it is.

Speaker 4 (39:13):
This is about progress. We're building.

Speaker 5 (39:16):
We're building something transformational and it takes time. Emotional intelligence enhancement,
I think this is critical of running a business. Like
I just shared earlier on, you have to learn how to.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
See the person.

Speaker 5 (39:33):
I'm not the client, see the person first and then
the client. And emotional intelligence means taking cues from your
client if you see that they're apprehensive about something, or
they're taking long to make a decision, or just reading
their body language. As a professional, we need to pay
attention to those things and lean into it and ask

(39:55):
our clients, hey, is that okay with you? Is this
too much right? Or if you see that they're making
a rash decision, even if it's their money, there's a
way to ask, how are you okay with this? Do
you need some time to think about it? We need
those emotional intelligence intelligence techniques to give our clients that

(40:20):
quality service that they need right in running. Not just
for our clients but even our team. Because you needed
to figure out when too much is too much for
you As a leader, you need you need emotional intelligence
when you can in order to recognize.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
When you need to pull back, when you need to
take a rest.

Speaker 5 (40:41):
Then maybe you need to delegate stuff to other people
to hear what your team is saying without you feeling
judged or pushed in a corner. So there's a whole
different department by itself.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
I had a couple.

Speaker 5 (40:57):
Of books that I wanted to share do that towards
the ending when it comes to emotional intelligence and boundaries.
Number six is business system optimization that is critical in
terms of reducing the stress and the anxiety and the
mental weights that we go through as leaders. And I

(41:19):
think Tunisa does an awesome job at that and she
probably will be speaking at the event or you probably
heard from already. But and I'm sure Iron shared some
as well. But she is a boss when.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
It comes to that, And so that is something to
look forward to.

Speaker 5 (41:42):
Because that in itself beliefs or take away some of
those mental burdens that we go through as.

Speaker 4 (41:50):
Leaders in the wedding industry. Okay, let's see. Let's see.

Speaker 5 (41:58):
So here we go practical implementations that you can do
a daily one and we kind of went through it.

Speaker 4 (42:05):
What does your morning routine look like?

Speaker 5 (42:07):
You could start up with something like a fifteen This
is just an example, right, example, fifteen minutes meditation, set
your intentions for the day, checking me with your team
sometime sometimes during midday, do a briefing exercise, do some
type of movement, maybe take a walk all up around
your area, hydration, drink your water, and then sometimes in

(42:30):
the evening do a wind maybe some type of gratitude.

Speaker 4 (42:33):
Running a business, it's not just about do do do
do do?

Speaker 5 (42:36):
But what am I grateful for? What did I have
accomplished today? Who did I drop a gem or share
something good with?

Speaker 4 (42:45):
Right? Create a priority list and.

Speaker 5 (42:48):
Then digitally disconnect, which is hard for some of us.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
But again that's where the discipline comes in. So I
think that's very important.

Speaker 5 (42:59):
So for some of you, if you want, you can
snap a screenshot of that, or you can create your own,
but it's really important to have some type of daily
integration in in your day to day. I wanted to
introduce some techniques that we can we can practice whenever

(43:19):
we feel the mental way, because even if it's a
mental mental issue, right, it shows up physically in our bodies.
And I usually say, you want to tap into where
you're where you're feeling it, So imagine this is this
is our brain, right And I usually say in therapy

(43:40):
we have the emotional side, which is our olympic system,
and then we have the cognitive side. Right now, for
some people, what usually shows up for them is the
emotions right there. The emotions is what the the the
queue into where they're feeling angry or sad, or frustrated, irritated,

(44:06):
self loving, disappointed. If you notice your emotions are coming
up first for you, Let's say you receive some not
some pleasant news from your client. They were planning to
go with you and then they changed their minds where
human beings, we're going to feel a certain way, right,
So let's we might feel disappointed.

Speaker 4 (44:28):
Don't just rush under the next thing.

Speaker 5 (44:32):
Take some time disappointment. Where am I feeling it? Am
I feeling it in my neck? Am I feeling on
my chest? Is it something showing up? Is it a headache?
Am I feeling it in my back? Or even if
it's not receiving negative news from a client. But let's
say just grinding day to day doing sending out those

(44:54):
emails and stuff and paying the bills and X RAYSY,
and you notice you're holding a lot of tension in there, right.

Speaker 4 (45:01):
If if it's showing not physically, then do something to
address that weight.

Speaker 5 (45:05):
If you should not emotionally, then assess it where you're
feeling it in your body and attend to it.

Speaker 4 (45:13):
So we have something called box breathing.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
So like a box.

Speaker 4 (45:21):
And box breathing, we're gonna see if you're breathing for three,
hold for three and release for three. Now I just
like three because that's easy. But some people they can
do let's.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
Say they do four seconds, five seconds, but three is easy.
So box breathing, it's you're gonna breathe in for three
call for three seconds, release for three seconds. And so
you a box has three sides, so we're gonna do it. Sorry, guys,

(45:55):
a box has four sides, and so we are going
to do it four times.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
So breathing.

Speaker 5 (46:03):
One two three or one two three, release one.

Speaker 4 (46:10):
Two three, and we just do it four times. Right,
So we call that box breathing.

Speaker 5 (46:17):
If you have if you do have breathing complications and stuff,
then do it at your own pace.

Speaker 4 (46:24):
We also have finger.

Speaker 5 (46:25):
Breathing, where you I'm putting up my hands.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
Like a high five, my hand like a high five,
and I'm going to use my pointer to trace around
my hand. So I'm going to breathe in privove breathing,
privoved breathing as I trace my fingers. Revolt revolved.

Speaker 5 (47:01):
Right, we call that with five finger breathing. And when
you learn those techniques, they look simple.

Speaker 4 (47:09):
It's not just for you.

Speaker 5 (47:11):
Usually say share them if you're friends, share them if
your family, share them with your children.

Speaker 4 (47:16):
Because we go to school.

Speaker 5 (47:17):
We go to college, we will work on jobs, and
very rarely maybe today, but very rarely, rarely, anyone teaches
you how to regulate your emotions and how to regulate
your body.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
And these are simple techniques that we can use. There's
another one call.

Speaker 5 (47:34):
Leaves on a stream, and I will also give iron
the link of a resource audio resource that you can
listen to. But it's basically imagining yourself near a lake
or a stream of water that it's flowing. There's a

(47:54):
leaf that falls on the stream, and then you're gonna
imagine whatever that weight is at the time that you're feeling,
You're gonna place it on the leaf and just watch
it flow down the street.

Speaker 4 (48:10):
And as you're doing that, you're gonna take some breath
in an excel.

Speaker 5 (48:19):
Breathing, and then you breathe out and just imagine that
worry or that wit just bothering its little head down
the stream. And I usually tell my clients that that
does not mean the worry or the thought is completely gone, but.

Speaker 4 (48:37):
What you're trying to do is to reset your body
and reset your mind.

Speaker 1 (48:41):
Right.

Speaker 5 (48:42):
So, let's say if it was stressed out and on
the stress imagine that we had a stress thermometer and
on the thermometer you're at eight ten is the highs,
and you're at the eighth nine. Then practicing some of
those breathing techniques of comgnitive techniques, but it is support
do is reduce it, right, So hopefully you come down

(49:04):
from an eight to a seven or six, and if
you add a seven, you can come down to a four.
Then that will alleviate some of the stress, because what
happens when we are stressed out our thinking capacity is limited.

Speaker 4 (49:19):
Right, So the idea of these.

Speaker 5 (49:21):
Techniques is not for all things, for burdens or thoughts
or worries to just magically disappear. But it's again, it's
just teaching all bod it's how to regulate so we
can get back in that space to think and make
those informed.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Decision and not rash decisions.

Speaker 5 (49:40):
One that I love is the call water splash, and
typically that's for when we have I don't know this
is for your brave clients, or your team members or
even yourself, but if you notice you are just stressed
out to the mass or you're you're really down and out,
do not want to move because at the end of

(50:02):
the day, we're people, right, I know, we work in
a beautiful environment, a happy environment, but sometimes we have
stuff that is going on in our personal life and
sometimes we have to learn how to move through it.

Speaker 4 (50:13):
So we can get things done.

Speaker 5 (50:15):
So one of the ways that you can help yourself
if you notice you're having a real heart time and
you need to move through something is get a little
face basin or bowl with some water and you can
put some ice cubes in there and then just diep
your face in the ice water and take some deep

(50:36):
breaths in and you can probably do that two or
three times, right, just gently put your face, hold your
breath and then turn it to that but just hold
your breath deep it.

Speaker 4 (50:46):
In and then get out.

Speaker 5 (50:48):
Now you've probably seen some people do that like an
ice back, right, but some of us we don't have
the time to go into an ice bath, so this is.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
The quickest thing.

Speaker 5 (50:58):
If we don't have a bowl with some ice water
and ice keeps in it, the next thing you can
do is get a washcloth, get.

Speaker 4 (51:04):
It real cold, run some cold water in it.

Speaker 5 (51:06):
Or ice water, and then you can place it behind
your neck or on your face, and that will give
your body the same shock sensation where you can snap back.
Another thing, another technique that we can do is a
body scan, and maybe if we have time, we can
try one towards the ending. But a body scan is

(51:28):
a great technique that you can implement during the beginning
of your day, the end.

Speaker 4 (51:33):
In the middle, whenever you want to.

Speaker 5 (51:34):
And it's basically you can start from your head to
your feet. So I'm gonna start from my head and
You're just gonna do some breath work where you pulling
in hell next sale. Then you go down to your neck.
Focus on your neck area, pulling next sale. Come to

(51:56):
your shoulders in hell exhale chest area. Same thing to
your stomach area, your size, your legs, your.

Speaker 4 (52:08):
Tools, and so you can do that.

Speaker 5 (52:12):
We have a body scan and also progressive most of relaxation.

Speaker 4 (52:16):
That's a very good one.

Speaker 5 (52:18):
Especially for my wedding professionals over there who at the
end of the day you can get your body to
rest because you have so much things going on in
your mind. Progressive most of relaxation techniques. Just go on YouTube.
Tie that in. This is a great technique that you
can use to reset your body and get your try

(52:40):
to get.

Speaker 4 (52:40):
Your body to rest.

Speaker 5 (52:42):
All right, so much little that I want to share,
but I'm going to spit it up. So along with
psychological or mental tools, we have digital wellness tools that
I would just like to mention. We have some apps
that you can use like Come for meditation, a signer

(53:02):
for project management, Headspace or work inside Timer that's a
sound healing app. And for those who like to journal
but you may not have time to get the old
fashioned book, I like the Ideal. It's an app that
tracks your mood and you can just journal what you're feeling.

Speaker 4 (53:23):
And sometimes journaling.

Speaker 5 (53:24):
Is such a important tool to have because sometimes we
don't have the mental that we can talk to immediately.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
We just need a space to vent.

Speaker 5 (53:34):
So journaling is a great place to dump those ideas
or to vent whatever it is that we're going through
and what I love to do with it. After I
have journal and put my heart out, then I can
use the notes because there's some good information in there.

Speaker 4 (53:51):
I can use the notes.

Speaker 5 (53:52):
To bring something across to whoever I have the issue with,
whether it's my team, whether it's be a family member,
whether it's my therapies or coach. So journaling is a
great tool. Let's see see Let's see how practicing some
of those techniques what it does.

Speaker 4 (54:12):
For you forty percent.

Speaker 5 (54:14):
You can see forty percent productivity increase, fifty five percent
client satisfaction improvement. There might be a sixty five percent
reduction in six days. Because if you're taking care of
yourself physically, emotionally.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
Spiritually, you're gonna see a reduction in six days.

Speaker 5 (54:33):
You're showing up better and there's forty eight percent increase
or better team retention if you're practicing. My hope is
if you're practicing those things for yourself, then you're also
implementing it in your business.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
So this is not just a youth thing.

Speaker 5 (54:51):
This is a team a team lifestyle that you're curating, right,
so it will benefit production, client satisfaction, let's sick days,
and team retention.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
So what are your next steps?

Speaker 5 (55:06):
I encourage you to try to take some immediate action,
see where what are your mental with?

Speaker 4 (55:14):
Not your carring.

Speaker 5 (55:15):
Really take some time and you know what is what
is it that's my mental with Is it that I
lack confidence? Is it that I have feared to show
up on Instagram?

Speaker 4 (55:26):
Is it.

Speaker 5 (55:28):
I'm not delegating stuff. I just want to do everything myself.
I think I do a better job of my team
is not doing it as best as I would? Is
it setting a better boundaries? Whatever your mental weight is
that's costing you, whether it's costing your time, whether it's
costing you money?

Speaker 4 (55:48):
What is it? Try to identify, create a forty day.

Speaker 5 (55:52):
Goal plan, see what your vision is. What you see,
what you like your vision to be for your team,
for yourself, self, for your business. And then lastly, see
if you can schedule some type of business wellness audits
and then integrate some type of wellness plan for yourself

(56:13):
and for your team. And this is something I'll probably
talk about next time. Well beginnings is I'm working on
a program where we'll be able to come in and
do a wellness audit for our wedding professionals from a
mental health or wellness standpoint, and then from there we
can create a plan just something like what we went through,

(56:35):
what are the gaps that we see.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
And then what can you do moving forward? Salty, You
guys do more about.

Speaker 5 (56:41):
Then, but start somewhere, Guys, start somewhere. Some of the
books that I wanted to just briefly shared was set
Boundaries Find Peace by Knee Drug Glover. That's an excellent
book and a place to start, and I think Boundaries
is so vital. Bonds with your client, your client trying

(57:03):
to figure out bonds with in laws, you need some
type of language in order to navigate that process.

Speaker 4 (57:09):
So this is a great book. And then there's another.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
One Profit First for Wedding Professionals by Kristin Kaplan and
the Power of a Full Engagement by Jim Laura and
Hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, but I have a list
and I will shared that at least with Iren, so
then she can pass that on to the team as well.
So if you want to contact me, here is here

(57:35):
it is and on Instagram you can find me at
bo on the score Beginnings. Our website is ww dot
Bowbeginnings dot com and feel free, guys, feel free to
send me, shoot me a text, a message.

Speaker 4 (57:52):
I'm here for Irene. That's my okay.

Speaker 5 (57:57):
I'm not going to get emotional on her, but she's
good people and I love it and so her tribe
is my tribe as well. So if you need anything,
let me know how I can support you. But I
hope you blean something at least one thing from this
presentation as so how to take care of yourself by
identifying was that mental way that you're going through and
some strategies or techniques that you can use to reduce

(58:20):
it because it will impact your team, yourself, and your clients.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
Thank you guys so much for listening.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
Thank you so much of that. I always learned something
new with you.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
And yes, definitely we will have all these resources in
the show notes and we will share with all the
attendees of the retreat. It'll be definitely downloaded with everything else.
But I love what you were saying though, because it
will literally I'll hear people say I don't know why,
I just I'm not motivated by my business.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
You know, Oh, I'll have somebody like that you accomplished this, that.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
You do this, whether it's like an internal team member,
whether it's a client, whether it's somebody I'm coaching, and
it's like, yeah, life is getting you know, life is
getting in the way, or like the young people say,
life is lifing. And so then it's like you're kind
of like wondering, why is that not done? And so
there's always a reason for everything, And sometimes you're so

(59:15):
in it every day all day that you don't realize,
like you're saying, you need to do an audit of
your life. So it's like you do a personal audit.
So you know, there is something to be said about
getting up and having a routine and getting up and
finding time to move your body and breathing and just
kind of like finding ways is going to calm you down,

(59:36):
and it's kind of trial and error, like what it
is couts you down, you know, for me personally, like
I found moving my body more, drinking my water of course,
and honestly, I'm a nighttime couch potato, Like I just
want to sit there and watch reality whatever. I'm so happy.
This is not a plug, but I'm so happy The
Gilmore Girls are on Hulu and so I literally have

(01:00:00):
you know, I'm a huge fan. So I'm rewatching it
and doing like again for like time, and I'm like, yes,
but he likes the show also, so shout out to
do it. He loved the show when it first came out.
He loved it, he loved the part two of it
that they did. And so just finding those little things
and not feeling guilty because I think as women, yes,

(01:00:21):
the biggest thing is, like you know, you'll say, I'm
going to set this time apart for myself, whether it's reading,
it's devotional, it's a walk, going to the gym, you know,
taking yourself to get your nails or whatever it is,
and settling that time to the side. Don't feel guilty
about it because you've all heard this a thousand times before.

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
That you have to put your mask on first.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
That's the flight attendants do it in the flights, like
put your mask on first before you help your person next.

Speaker 3 (01:00:51):
Right, And.

Speaker 2 (01:00:53):
We are as wedding planners, and it really is a
wedding industry, but a wedding planners especially, we're giving so
much to our clients. We're servants, like we're giving and
we're pouring into people, and you forget that.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
You also have to pause.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
And it's okay to tell your clients I'm going on
vacation for a week, and it's okay to tell your
clients like, hey, I'm taking these days off, I'm with
the kids, it's a snow day, I'm taking care of
my parents.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
I will get back to you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
It might be a slow response, right, But you have
to really do an audit. I mean, just like we
audit our taxes and our businesses and all that other stuff,
you have to audit your emotional state and your mental state.
So I love and finding those things of those breeding
techniques or splashing your face with cold water or whatever
it is to kind of like bring your you know,

(01:01:41):
your blood pressure down, your moods down, all that kind
of good stuff. And I will say this too, I'm
in this stage now of life. I'm forty eight years old.
Put it out there, sister, looks good though, right.

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
I do.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
That's somebody I was like, yeah, I'll be forty nine.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
And April They're like really like yeah, good skin and
good jeans, right, But also do check your hormone levels, ladies.

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
If anybody who's listening.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
To this, whether you're on this here live, catching the replay,
listen to the podcast, get those hormone levels check and
if you don't like what you hear from your doctor,
like your general practitioner, or go find an internal like
a more holistic doctor or a place and get those
hormones levels checked out. Because sometimes you could be doing

(01:02:29):
all the right things and still feel a certain kind
of way. So get the therapy, you know, get those
gym memberships. You have to put yourself first, because what
we do is training. I mean I will look at
an end of a wedding day or an end of
an event day and have walked almost thirty thousand steps,
Like I had a day that I walk twenty to
seven thousand steps and I forget how many, like sixteen

(01:02:50):
flight of stairs, And it was like, you know how
the phone tells you all the health app tells you
all these things, and so you're wondering when you're tired.
But it's also taking those breaks and knowing that now,
don't get too comfortable with the breaks and the boundaries,
because we have businesses to run and start and grow
and all that good stuff. But finding those moments when
you're like, okay, why can I not focus and concentrate,

(01:03:11):
and like Hadasa said, do an audit at that moment,
Like I love what I do, Hadasa, But I don't
care cancer, I don't write. I love what I do,
and there's always something to do. There's always something to
do for the family, there's always something to do for
the business, there's always something to do for clients. And

(01:03:33):
so sometimes I have to be like, you know what
I'm done, Like I could have been last night. I mean,
you know, in the next two weeks we have three
events before the retreat.

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
I could literally set.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Up my desk for forty eight hours and butt and
work the full forty eight hours.

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
But I'm good to anybody. You know like I wouldn't
be good to anybody, so just it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:55):
Will show up.

Speaker 5 (01:03:56):
We think we wouldn't, but eventually it will shop if
I can just share a little bit of personal.

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
Twenty twenty more, but I'm in twenty five. Twenty two.

Speaker 5 (01:04:09):
Twenty three was hard for me because I started a
new job and we way through some mental health issues
with family, with.

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
Family members, and so that that knocked me out.

Speaker 5 (01:04:24):
And I thought I could do it, like that's my field.

Speaker 4 (01:04:27):
I'm good, I'm good, and you tell.

Speaker 5 (01:04:29):
Yourself those things. Right, I'm good. I can push through.
Greater is he that's in me than he that's in
the world. You know, you poperate pictures and everything, right,
I had to do that audit and say, hey, we're
not good, especially with the ADHDPS and all the stuff
that I'm dealing with. We can only focus, it feels
at the moment, I could only focus on one thing

(01:04:51):
and something was given And so I had to be
honest with myself and say, we need to go see
a doctor, get that ADHD together, take care.

Speaker 4 (01:05:03):
Of the family, and then take yourself.

Speaker 5 (01:05:07):
And the spiritual our physical came in and let's get
back at it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
And some of us don't have the luxury to pause
for a long time. But whatever your pause kind of
look like, do it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Yeah, do the audit, you know, audit yourself and know
that it's okay to say no, no, it's okay to
ask for help. Something that I have noticed hadasa in
the black and brown community, and it pains me because
I feel like it's that's what's stumping our growth in

(01:05:38):
business is not is recognizing like I cannot do this,
I can't do it all. I'm learning this, I'm paying
for the system, I'm doing this, I'm showing up here.
But it's not in my capacity. I always joke and
say it's not my ministry, Like SEO is something that
we needed, and I purchased a course and I taught

(01:05:58):
myself how to do the blogs and that's now, mind you,
all these modules that this woman has and you know,
shout out to Sarah Dunn, this all these modules that
she had, and it's like, this is.

Speaker 3 (01:06:09):
Not my ministry.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
And I literally tell God, so you're gonna have to
say somebody to do this or you know, I don't
know it's gonna get done when it gets.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
Done, because at.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
The moment I didn't have you know the funds to
pay for the SEO manager. And then it hit me
one day, I'm like, well, my husband is techie, and
so I gave him the course and let him do it,
like right, great at social media posting, we get all
kinds of great remarks and comments. I'm like, thanks, I
let my social media manager know because you know, and yes,

(01:06:39):
it costs us money, right, but it's going to free
up your brain and your capacity to do something else
because you're taking so much strength to do something you're
not good at, So.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Asking for help.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Stop trying to be doing this and you're by yourself
and being a loner as you're doing your business, connect
with all the business owners you know, figure out what
it is like audits that, and that's part of your
mental capacity, Like I am not good at trying to
figure out these scrms or or you know, blogging or
reels or social media and saying, okay, I'm gonna make

(01:07:11):
a plan. Even talked about this, make a plan of
where you need the help at and get the help,
especially if you have a busy personal life and you're
taking care of parents and kids and you know, you
know yourself, go ahead and figure out what it is
that you need help and gather the help, because I

(01:07:31):
will tell you that other communities help, they're getting the help,
they're getting the paid help, the free help, the they're
leaning on their.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
Tribe, they're doing all of that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:42):
And you know, I feel I'm so grateful that our
communities are more open than the newer generations, are more
open to therapy and seeking out for help. But I
see it all the time, like, don't be shy to say,
you know what, I don't know what I'm doing, because
other times I don't know what I'm doing and I
go out and I'm like, that's why I have a
coach and a therapist and friends who are therapists, you know,

(01:08:06):
say professionally for professional therapists, not play play therapists. Like
I have friends and spiritual counselors and all that kind
of stuff because you can't be raising, you know, being
a wife, raising children, raising our parents, right like we joke,
raising our parents and managing a team and taking care
of clients and not.

Speaker 3 (01:08:26):
Need help like therapists half therapists.

Speaker 2 (01:08:29):
Like I'm sorry you if you if you're seeing a therapist,
it doesn't have a therapist or you have a coach
who doesn't have a coach run the other way, because
that means you've different themselves.

Speaker 4 (01:08:41):
And don't tell me. God is the therapist and the coach.

Speaker 3 (01:08:44):
Like, yeah, yeah, he made I always say he made coach.

Speaker 2 (01:08:46):
He made the doctors that we need, He made the coach,
the councilors that we need, Like he gave those people
those abilities, and those use them.

Speaker 5 (01:08:55):
But I like what you talk about because in the
black and brown community, that's something systematic, that is a
mindset that we can do everything.

Speaker 4 (01:09:06):
We will forced to do everything.

Speaker 5 (01:09:08):
And so the other communities, the other groups, they don't
have that mindset.

Speaker 4 (01:09:13):
They will take all the help.

Speaker 5 (01:09:14):
And but thank goodness that what you're saying, we are
noticing in the networks in the whether it's weeper, whether it's.

Speaker 3 (01:09:24):
Give me another one, name days, all of them, all.

Speaker 5 (01:09:27):
Of them, we are seeing the mental health or the
wellness component pieces added into their programs, into the organizations.
Use it, use it, use them to your advantage, because
no one wants to be a Martin.

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
Don't be a don't be a mother. Oh my goodness,
thank you so much. Friend. I can't wait to see
you in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 2 (01:09:49):
As you do what you always do and get us,
get us mentally ready for the weekend. It's it's it's
gonna be a fun, jam packed weekend with lots of information.
And again, I wanted to have decision today with you,
because anytime you're learning something new, anytime you're coming into
a new year, new quarter, you kind of start feeling
overwhelmed because you know, on the ground and on all

(01:10:11):
the channels, everybody's talk about new year, new me and
here Mike goes and da da da da da. We
don't our quarter to our Q one, don't start to
February first, and February first, I'm gonna be with what
with a room full of beautiful people at the Becoming
business retreat for wedding planners. So our really, our Q
one is probably not gonna start officially to week a
couple of weeks later. And I've already know that this

(01:10:33):
was gonna be you know, January was gonna be a
tough month. And so I love that you said that,
like scheduling that time, like I have scheduled downtime in February, right,
because like the first you know, first seventy eight weeks
of the new year, it's always busy for us with
events and things like that, for with clients and in
our own event. So just knowing that, like there's a
season for everything. That's one of those things that Jennelle

(01:10:53):
taught me years ago. It's like you could hustle and grind,
but make sure that you're also scheduling that time for
yourself and schedule and time for that mental you know,
that mental wellness and that mental health, you know, just
mental rest, whatever that may be throughout your day, throughout
your time. Pre planned those vacations like on the calendar,
which always makes me feel happy, like I'm like, oh,
we're doing this this month, and we're doing this this month,

(01:11:16):
even if we're just going down to Florida to visit
the parents, it's still good to know that it's all
my calendar.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
So I have like six weeks to get there, like
you know, those things keep me going.

Speaker 2 (01:11:25):
So whatever you do, So I pray my friends that.

Speaker 3 (01:11:30):
This helped you, right, that this helped you.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
I'll make sure that we share share all her all
her little nuggets and goodies and links to things with
that for everybody.

Speaker 3 (01:11:37):
But thank you so much, miss Hadasa.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
It's always a pleasure and always you always teach us
something new.

Speaker 4 (01:11:44):
My pleasure.

Speaker 5 (01:11:45):
Thank you for having me tribe, and you got this,
you got this, And if I could just be a
quick word God, we want.

Speaker 4 (01:11:52):
To thank you for this space.

Speaker 5 (01:11:54):
We want to thank you for all the beautiful women
that I hear called each and everyone into purpose, and
so we pray over them that you exercise your authority,
you lead and guide them.

Speaker 4 (01:12:08):
We say in all that ways we acknowledge.

Speaker 5 (01:12:10):
You a new director all path and so I pray
for them and the businesses that it flourished this year,
that you will connect them to people who can take
them further. If there's any spirit of fear or concern
or whatever it is, help them make those audits and
let them.

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Know that you are with them all the way. Bless
them Jesus. Every prayer we say.

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
Amen, Amen best wad end the podcast episode and a webinar.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
Thank you so much, mister Dasa, who wasn't that powerful?

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
Hadasa always brings such a calming, grounded and truthfil presence,
and I hope this session gave you exactly what you needed,
whether it was permission to rest, encouragement to keep going,
or just a reminder that you're not alone on this
journey and if this episode spoke to you, I want
to personally invite you to join the weight List for

(01:13:04):
Becoming the Business Retreat for Wedding Planners twenty twenty six.
This retreat is for the planner who's ready to step
fully into her role as a CEO with clarity, confidence
and community. We'll be back in Atlanta and it's going
to be bigger, deeper, and more impactful than ever. To
join the weight List and get early access, exclusive bonuses

(01:13:25):
and behind the scene updates, just click on the link
in our show notes to get the details, and as always,
don't forget to follow the podcast, leave a quick review
and tag us on Instagram at Irene Tyndale.

Speaker 3 (01:13:38):
While you're listening, we love seeing.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
Your takeaways and hearing how these episodes are helping you grow.
Until next time, keep building with purpose, planning with intention,
and becoming the CEO you were called to be.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
Love y'all,

All Episodes

S2 Ep. 2 - The Mental Weight of Building & Running a Transformative Business with Hadassah Joseph

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

The Joe Rogan Experience

Stuff You Should Know

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S2 Ep. 2 - The Mental Weight of Building & Running a Transformative Business with Hadassah Joseph