S2 Ep.11 - Longevity in the Wedding Planning Industry with Desirée Dent - Inside The Wedding Planner's Mind

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind with Irene Tyndale,
Chief Event Officer of Irene Tyndale Weddings and Events. All right,
missus Tyndale, let's get to it.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Welcome back to Inside the Wedding Planner's Mind, the podcast
where we go beyond the timelines and tablescapes and talk
about what it really takes to build a business and
in life you love in the wedding industry today, I
have the absolute pleasure of welcoming a powerhouse in our space,
someone who has stood the test of time and continues
to inspire planners across the country, desire Dent of De

(00:35):
Jena Events.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Desiree is more than a planner.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
She's a mentor, a teacher, a chair laser, and someone
I'm proud to call a friend. With decades in the business,
she's seen trends come and go, economy shift, and client
expectations evolve. But what hasn't changed is her passion, professionalism
and powerful presence in the industry. Today, we're digging into
what it really takes to build a care with stay

(01:00):
in power, from staying motivated when business gets hard, to
evolving with the times, to planning for life and legacy
as a woman in business desire DD like I like
to call her welcome to the show, my friends.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Hey, Irene, and I like to call her it So, hello,
my friend.

Speaker 5 (01:19):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm great, I'm great. We were just having great conversations
before we hit record about these children's we have. You're
in a different stage and you always encourage me, So
I thank you because I know you're You're in the
twenties stage and I'm still in.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
The teen years.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
So I send the little messages to her every once
in a while. Tell me I'm gonna like these people again.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
One day, she says, you will you will? I will?
You will?

Speaker 5 (01:43):
You will? I promise I'll say it again.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
So I love to start every interview with what's your
origin story?

Speaker 5 (01:51):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
So how did you get into the world of weddings?
And you know what made you say yes to building
this company? That twenty five years?

Speaker 5 (01:59):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Did we just twenty five years? Which is huge.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
As a wedding planner, I think that's amazing. I don't
know if I've met many reading planners that could say
twenty five years and still standing and still strong. Because
if you think about for those of you younger, younger listeners.
Twenty five years ago? What a long time ago, right,
that was the early two thousands, like they like to say,
But we've seen some crazy things over the last twenty

(02:27):
five years in history and economy and all that good stuff.
So the fact that you're still standing, I'm so excited
to talk about longevity today.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
But let's start with your origin story.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Tell the people's how you got to you know, Dejena Events.

Speaker 4 (02:42):
Most certainly, well, thank you once again for having me
so twenty five years ago. Yes, April twenty fourth, twenty
is when I started the business. But what caused me
to get into this, this whole arena of this craziness
of wedding and event planning, because it is crazy crazy.

Speaker 5 (02:58):
I was a marketing coordinator for a law firm.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
That was my past life, and so planning events for
the law firm was what I did.

Speaker 5 (03:07):
I did their newsletters.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
At that time, email wasn't big, but we did emails
and had partnership retreats, all of those things, and so
planning was easy. And then I became engaged, and so
planning my wedding was easy. Unfortunately, I didn't have fun
at my wedding because I could not be the planner.
I was a bride ah, and I discovered that, you know,

(03:33):
by the end of the night, I'm stressed. I'm crying.
On my honeymoon, I had the flu because my resistance
was down. And I had a friend at my wedding
who said she would help, I guess taking that role
of the coordinator, but she didn't know what to do,
and I didn't tell her what to do. So in
twenty when I had several other friends marrying, I stepped

(03:53):
into that role, not knowing what it really was, but
I knew that I wanted to help them because I
didn't want them to feel how I felt on wedding day.
And so that is really how the business evolved. And
then once I so, I just was deserated bridal consultant.
That's what I figured out myself to be based on.
I don't did we even have Google in twenty I
don't remember, but I.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Know we were talking Dwayne and were talking about that
the other day, like what year he knows it off
the top of the head, like I remember, in like
late nineties it was Yahoo And then yes, asked Jeeves,
was the where the website?

Speaker 3 (04:25):
We all went to to ask questions.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
But I don't know if early two thousands that we
even had Google yet, I don't think so.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
I know, my my first email address was AOL. So
it was DAIJENNI events at AOL.

Speaker 5 (04:35):
Yeah. We yeah, we're really all.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
So, you know, once I deserated bridal consult, then I
got pregnant.

Speaker 5 (04:40):
I had my my heart, my my.

Speaker 4 (04:42):
Desia Dunay, and so that is who I named the
business after. Dejahnay is a mixture of her first and
middle name, and so that's really how my origin story began,
and it has.

Speaker 5 (04:55):
It has evolved quite a bit over these last twenty
five years, but still he still hang it out.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
So, like you said, you've been in the game for years,
what's the biggest misconception people have about being a longtime planner?

Speaker 5 (05:10):
Do you know?

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Have you seen any misconceptions?

Speaker 5 (05:13):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (05:13):
Yeah, I hear them all the time. Well it's the
first one being and I'm sure you hear this as well.
Being a coach is that this is easy, this is fun,
and it's such a glamorous type of role or entrepreneurial role.
In all truthfulness, the misconception is that you can just
wake up and start this business. Well, you have to
understand first that it's a business. We have glamour and

(05:36):
it's a whole vibe to our business. We get to
live with beauty and be a part of a couple's
love story. But you have to have the business foundation first.
And a lot of those I feel that are starting
in the industry and have started in the industry didn't
start with that foundation, and so they find it a
bit more challenging to you know, stay in the game
as a progress.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
And I mean one of those things is like you say,
to top up on that is a misconception as it's easy,
Like you might be able to plan events, right. I
always joke and say I could plan maage and execute
gag hand tie and have my back and blindfold it
like it's a gift. But the part of the business
is a whole nother thing. So like if you're running
a business, and like you in the beginning, I was

(06:16):
just doing it for friends and family and like I
was winning because I loved it.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
And if they you know, I didn't know what.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
To charge if they pay me something or ask me.
You know what I'm saying, It wasn't official. Let's just
say that, And I think a lot of times where
like people have a gift or passion for it, and
somebody says, oh, you know, why don't you do this
for me, I'll pay you this, or why don't you
do this for me, I'll pay you that. And then
you know, we love what we do and we do
it well. But the business side of things, I think
everyone's like, oh, I'll figure it out as I go.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Which sometimes you do and then sometimes you don't. He
says the.

Speaker 5 (06:50):
Correct correct very much.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
So I will say that because of my background and
my father, who was an entrepreneur, I knew I needed
to have a business foundation, and he was always my
business manager, and so I knew enough early on that
I had to get educated.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
But the crazy thing.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
Is is in the early two thousands, there was no
education out there. When I tell you it, t I
literally took a mail order course.

Speaker 5 (07:16):
I found it in the back of a magazine. I
can't remember the company of it.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
I found it in the back of a magazine while
I'm sitting in the doctor's office, right and I pulled
the little piece of paper and I mailed it in
and they start mailing me these books. You take the
first the first quiz, and then you mail it back in.
They send you another book. You take that quiz. This
went on for eight books and I still have them.

Speaker 5 (07:37):
Crazy enough.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Now, it was that for business or for planning.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
It was for planning, but it had business, It had
business components within it. And I just, honestly, I'm sure
this company doesn't even exist anymore. And then on top
of that, my father tutored me a lot in business,
understanding finances and things of that nature. So I will
say I started out really well from a business standpoint.

Speaker 5 (08:02):
Now, did I always listen, you.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Know, because you were young, I was young.

Speaker 5 (08:08):
We just talked about that, right, Did I always listen? No?
But I did know enough about business that.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
In order for this business to sustain, in order for
this creative business to sustain, I was going to have
to have that foundation first.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
And that's the thing is, like I remember, you know,
I started my business in twenty twelve, and even then,
there wasn't a lot of information out there pertaining to
the wedding industry.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Like you know, ABC was around and.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Some other ones were around, but it was kind of
like some organizations were around was mostly how to teach you,
how to be a planner, but the business side of things,
and honestly, you know, doing business as a woman, doing
business as a woman of color, it was a very
minimum of stuff. And like I remember, there's a lot
of planner friends I have that I met because we
either found a block talk radio, we found a Facebook
groups when Facebook groups first started, and like that, we

(08:55):
all I found this and I found that, and we
all helped each other. But I love the fact that
you had your dad. You know they'd already had that right,
and that that is such a beautiful story as a
legacy because you know he was an entrepreneur and a teacher,
because I know his story, and now you know, be
you an entrepreneur and a teacher. And it's like, you know,
every generation like what is I learn one, teach one

(09:15):
and give one or whatever that phrase is. But it's like,
you know this because you also coach and teach. So
many of us don't have that right, right, So many
of us don't have that. So the misconception, like you know,
the wedding planning industry, it's a low barrier entry, like
you plan your wedding today and your wedding planner tomorrow.
If you want that, or you client stuff at church
and now you're a planner, which listen, we all have

(09:37):
to start somewhere. But I think I think it's like knowing,
like I need more than just the skill of planning
and events and the glamorous side of things.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Listen.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
I think the best and worst thing that happened to
our industry has.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Been social media.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Like it's a beautiful thing because we get to showcase
our work because that all of us are lucky enough
to get published in these big magazines over the years.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
But our work is displayed.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
But it also shows a side of you know, like
all they think all planners are trying to be cute
and some in front of the camera and you know,
look better than their clients.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
And it's like no that you know, that's the misconception
that it's not.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Sure a day like you're the director of this beautiful
love story that's being film today.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
It's not about you.

Speaker 5 (10:20):
Yeah, I agree with you so much. Don't get We
could stay on here all day about.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
Stuff on that one topic.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Okay, what do you think has been the biggest factor
in your ability to sustain and grow your business over time?

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Because it's again twenty five years is a long time.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
I'm tired. I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Let me say that rightfully. So you've earned it. You've
earned it.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
The biggest factor I would have to go into saying
is that I am always learning.

Speaker 5 (10:47):
I have never stopped learning. Rather was from my father or.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
Even educators like yourself, others that are in the industry.
I am always willing to learn. I am a vessel,
a sponge. Thats as much as I possibly can. Because
I don't tell anyone in a minute. I do not
pretend to know everything. I cannot possibly know everything. Have
I seen a lot?

Speaker 5 (11:07):
Yes? Have I seen more than you? Probably so.

Speaker 4 (11:09):
But I am still learning in this industry because it
evolves every single day. And if I don't stay up
on I don't even want to call them trends. If
I don't stay up just on the educational components and
understanding the type of couples that are out there now,
what they are seeking, and how to deal with budgets
and all of these various things that change over time,

(11:32):
I'm going to be at a disadvantage and I never
want to be in that position. And furthermore, if I'm
going to be an educator, if I'm going to help
those that are coming up behind me and wanting to
make sure that they start off with a great foundation.
I have to make sure that I maintain my education
as well.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, that's one of the things I love, and not
just because it's my retreat, but one of the things
I love about becoming is seeing the different stages of business,
whether they startup, the growth or the scaling phase in business,
or even our educators and our speakers in their room
all like asking questions of the speaker that's up there,
having their own aha moments, having conversation movement, some of

(12:12):
the younger planners in the room like that's a great idea,
I'm gonna try that, or wait what app I remember
last year in twenty twenty four, Tanisa just blew our
minds with a different We were all like, what did
you know about that? And I was like, you know,
but even this year, Kawania talking about blind pages and
we were all like wait what, Like we were asking
raising our hands hy about blind pages.

Speaker 5 (12:34):
Wait you talk about that.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
A little bit, and at the wayne like you got
that because we need one of those. And it's it's
nice to see like we should always be learning because
it's things are constantly changing. Like we're one of the
few industries that every year, every season, really it is
a crop of new clients.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Correct, it's not the same.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
Over and over and over. It changes with generations, you know.
It's it's not like an airline or like certain things
that have its it's predictable in one way, it's not predictable,
like every generation is different, every season is different, and
every season we get.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
A whole new proper people.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
And you have to constantly I think I saw a
quote the other day that said, if you if you're
still planning events and marketing events, like it's like you
did in twenty fifteen, that's why your clanlendar is not
booked exactly like it's twenty twenty five, like years ago.
It's like what worked then doesn't work now. What didn't

(13:31):
work then might work now. You know that kind of thing.
And so there was a time where like, oh, don't
put your price on your website.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
That was normal because people like to have conversations.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Now you got to put all you gotta put all
of it, all the business on front Street. And one
reason is they want to know if you're a good
fit for them, if they could afford you. But also
it's not going to waste your time if you all know, yes,
I mean not. That doesn't mean there's some people still
look all through that and still call and still discover calls.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
And all that stuff.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
But at least you're keeping up what's going on at
all times.

Speaker 5 (14:00):
Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. And I have to
give a shout out to the Becoming Retreat. Listen, it
is the best. I tell Irene all the time.

Speaker 4 (14:08):
It is the best retreat ever, and I've spoken at many.

Speaker 5 (14:12):
I love the Becoming Retreat.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
I love the energy, I love the people and the attendees,
and I appreciate you so much for creating creating the retreat.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
It's it's absolutely amazing.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
We love having you. He's a fan favorite. So has
your definition of success changed over the years, and if so, how,
because I know you know I would say that success
you define your success, right, So if like being away
every weekend when you're twenty two years old and don't
have kids or a husband, then when you're and your

(14:45):
you know, kids are little or kids are teenagers. But
like I say, you have to define success because I
may be happy with two weddings a month, one wedding
a month, making fifty thousand a year, versus somebody else's like, nope,
I want to make double six figures.

Speaker 3 (14:56):
I want to do this.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
So has your definition of success changed over the years.

Speaker 5 (15:02):
Yes, Oh my gosh, it probably changed.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
It's changed over time.

Speaker 5 (15:05):
Yeah, it changes all the times. And and you picked
up on a point.

Speaker 4 (15:09):
You know, when I first started, it was all about
making sure my calendar was booked and working several weddings
a weekend. And you know, we all know the planner hangover.
You know, ice packs everywhere, icy high? Or am I
telling on myself?

Speaker 2 (15:24):
You know that's all.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
About I don't even care how old you are.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
Like I'll see these Facebook groups all the time, like
these newer planners. Like one point I just went to
the other day. It was anonymous. She was like, I've
done two weddings and like, I feel like I need
to I can't move.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
My whole body. The next day. I'm like, well, yeah,
that means you were working.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah, like that you're working. Like if she's like I
can't move today, and I was like, yeah, baby, that's
no matter what shoes you wear, y'all, Because it wasn't
what shoes I'm mister rogers.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
I go I go in with my sneakers were set up.
I have my cute little flats.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
Like the flats or tiny heel, and then I have
my dressing sneakers like I'm changing shoes all day long
to try to conserve my feed.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
But it don't help, no, not at all.

Speaker 5 (16:04):
Like, yeah, that was my thing. Success wasn't.

Speaker 4 (16:06):
My calendar was booked, and it was like that for
probably I will say about ten years, and then of
course building that team.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
But then as times change, as.

Speaker 4 (16:15):
This business started to evolve and social media comes into play,
success then for me became how many followers did I have?

Speaker 5 (16:23):
How many people were liking and commenting, and.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
So that was a successful moment for me. At that point,
I had already built a brand and.

Speaker 5 (16:30):
Created a business.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
So now what does success look like for me? And
as time progressed, it then became more personal and so
success for me then and still is now is making
sure that my personal life is where it needs to be.
My daughter who just recently graduated, being able to put

(16:51):
her through school, being able to.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
Purchase my home.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
Those are successful moments to me because you know, having
built all this business and you have these this name
and these accolades behind you. That's all wonderful, but at
the end of the day, I still am a normal person.

Speaker 5 (17:09):
I still want to enjoy life.

Speaker 4 (17:11):
And for me now, success is being able to have
those moments, creating that time in space for myself personally
and for my family, my friends and my partner.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
Oh I love it.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
You said something you were saying that you know, when
you first started, it was like a book calendar, and
then it was like the number of likes and follows
and all that stuff and what that just hit my spirit.
That says like media, society, trends, et cetera, et cetera,
are affecting our lives. Yeah, yes, and how we live it,

(17:43):
how we operate in business, like it's just crazy, Like
it just hit me and I was like, you know,
like the books, like the super book calendar, there was
a time it was like hustle, hustle, hustle. And then
it's also general you have to look at generationally like
desire and I from a generation that we were raised
like women could do anything, like we were taught like
it was like we went from women women had a
certain place in the home, and teachers or nurses, and

(18:06):
then it was like the eighties was like this revolutionary time,
was like women were becoming sea sweeters, women were wearing
powerhouse suits, and it was all these movies on you know,
the eighties in the early nineties.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, excuse me, with powerful women going to work.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
And running, running their households and having babies and I
am women hearing raw.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Right, So there was a time that we were like, hustle, hustle.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Grind, grind, hustle, hustle, grind, grice, I'll sleep what I'm dead,
that type of mentality. Yeah, I'm not gonna quote who
said that back in the day, but he was like,
I sleep what I'm saying. And it's like we have
that in there, like right, get exers, don't say no.
We have problems with boundaries, we really do, and then
we get mad at the next two generations.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
We're like, y'all, I'm mad at you.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
That you said no to me, but I'm also proud
of the fact that you have boundaries and I don't.
But but we had had so it was like, Okay,
my calendar is booked, I'm running household, I'm taking care
of the babies, I'm doing all the things, and then
you're like, but am.

Speaker 3 (18:58):
I happy and and might happy? And I fulfilled?

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Am I exhausted and not giving the best to my
significant other than the kids? Like you have that ying
and yang you're constantly fighting with. And then the numbers,
the number of likes on social media. That was a
thing at one point, like what are people huge? Your
more followers you have, The more likes you have, the
better your business was doing. Now they're like, you have
what's the many the mini influencer, the micro influencer, Like

(19:25):
you don't have to have you want the right kind
of followers. You might have only two hundred followers, but
are they interactive?

Speaker 3 (19:32):
And you know, on and on and on.

Speaker 2 (19:33):
But it's crazy how we let society, social media, to
trends dictate how we operate in our business. And you
have to We're here both to tell you that you
have to define what success means to you because I
see this a lot in our coaching programs. It's like
two people start at the same time. This one person
is doing this, and this person feels stuck, and I'm like,

(19:55):
what is success mean to you? Like and what my
favorite word is, what is your capacit? The tea chest, Yes,
what is your capacity? Like Duanne and I've had this
conversation that you know, in five years, this house may
be empty like Luss you know what I'm saying, Like
they're always welcome to come back after school and do.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
Whatever that is to do.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
But even then they're gonna be adults in and out
of the house, their own lives and all jobs, and
it's like, what are we doing next? Like what is
our next.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
Phase in life? What's what's our next successful success that
we're going to be chasing after whatever? But you have
to figure that out.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
And I remember Kathy Rameiroz at that time, She's like,
what is your success? What does that mean to you?
She's like for her, you know, she's I remember her
saying being there for my kids, being there for her mother,
you know, those kind of things. And then you know,
but like you, like most of us, you grinding, grinding,
grinding in those few years, and then you're like, I'm
exhausted past and not you know, and God forbid sick

(20:51):
or you know, those all kinds of things that happen.
So yeah, I love the fact that you touched on that, like, oh,
how many people I had on my books. And I'll
tell you this. I remember jad Nell saying one time
that one.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Year she had like sixty something events on the.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Books, and then she said that the team was spent
and she was spent. And the following she's made changes,
she pivoted, she shifted, she goes. The following year, I
think they only need died like twenty something and made
more money does And I've had that happen, Like this
year is lighter on what's on the books, but what's
on the books.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
Is Medior, right, yeah, so the you know, it's Medior.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Like we've had some changes, some team changes, and you know,
so we've shifted them things around.

Speaker 3 (21:33):
Like oh well that's good.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
There's there's you know, we're not struggling in the bank
every day, right, you.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Know so, but it all.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Comes in ebbs and flows. Yeah, okay, So how do
you continue to evolve both creatively operationally, you know and
as this industry changes, like we're constantly seeing these changes,
But how do you stay how do you evolve with that?

Speaker 3 (21:54):
Like? How do you stay up to date with all
these things?

Speaker 5 (21:57):
Well? I probably don't stay up today. Let me just
be honest.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Too much, it's too much, it's too much to keep
up with I am.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
I am very laser focused on me in Dagen events
and marry Me ceremonies and the other things that I
have going on.

Speaker 5 (22:10):
So yeah, I do.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
I watch it and see what others are doing. Yes,
But I am not a person who feels like I
have to implement what someone else is doing or copy
or plagiarize what someone else is doing. I know what
is for me is what is for me and what
I am going to be blessed with. And so, for one,
I keep my spiritual life in tune and that is
the only way I have been able to sustain in

(22:33):
this business, especially the last year with losing losing my dad,
and so keeping my faith is pivotal. I am a
huge proponent of brain dumping. I always dump my brain
because there are so many ideas that us as creative
as we come up with. But then we were like, well,

(22:55):
am I ever going to be able to get to this?
Am I going to be able to do that?

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Well?

Speaker 5 (22:58):
Write it out?

Speaker 2 (22:59):
See it?

Speaker 4 (22:59):
You know, it's such a digital society and people want
to try to keep everything on their phones and their computers,
but when you actually write it out, I've discovered and
I've learned over these years that you actually retain it
a lot better. And so for me, brain dumping is
very important.

Speaker 5 (23:12):
And then I'm real big.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
On when I see people that I follow that I
really admire, like yourselves, Like yourself, I write down little
things that you're saying, and I'm like, you know, how
can that apply to what I am doing?

Speaker 2 (23:23):
For me?

Speaker 5 (23:24):
Evolution is daily.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
It's not just something big that just happened to my
company or happen for me. It's just those small little
antidotes that I will pick up on.

Speaker 5 (23:34):
Are those small little notes that I will.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
Make that keep me current, that keep me up to date,
that keep me energized.

Speaker 5 (23:41):
But I'm also respectful of my time.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
Shelby Tughordon with the educator for ABC, a director of
education for ABC. She'll tell you in a heartbeat, I
am really serious about my time.

Speaker 5 (23:53):
Do not call me after this hour. I'm not replying.

Speaker 4 (23:55):
Do not email me after this hour. You'll get a
reply the next day. Like, I'm very pacific about how
I run this business now, which is going to become
a part of longevity for anyone who's in business. If
you're just going mad for fifteen sixteen hours a day.

Speaker 5 (24:12):
You don't have any anything.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
Left for your cup, and so you have to put
devices in place that will allow you to sustain in
this industry.

Speaker 5 (24:20):
Because it's hard.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
It is probably one of the hardest industries to be in,
for one, because it's very taxing on your body. And
like you said earlier, it is we get we get
a slew of new clients every year. So the same
pace we start off in January of twenty twenty five,
we got to start that same pace again.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Just to see marathon every it's a marathon, but it's
a different route every year every year.

Speaker 3 (24:51):
That's so true.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
You know you mentioned something, you know, the passing of
Dad last year, rest and peace. But you know one
thing that you know when we finally got to talk,
because you know, a lot of times I went away
for a minute.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
I know.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
And it's so funny because sometimes people are like you
don't always have to know what to say, just say
I'm thinking of you, sending a prayer, whatever the case
may be. And I've also something that I started last
year that I'm like, you know what, when somebody's their
name or I think of them out of nowhere, and
I always say it's never out of nowhere, right, It's
it's God is like, Okay, somebody needs a word, or

(25:25):
somebody just a touch point. You don't know what that
person needs. And I remember I just kept doing every
once in a while, I send you a little message
here there. And then one day you were like, girl,
it was a Saturday.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
You were like, we.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Talked like two hours?

Speaker 3 (25:36):
Did we You're like, what did you do when as
a girl laundry? She's are you talking? We talked for
two hours and it was just catching up.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
But one of the things that I remember on that
conversation was that your team was handling so much.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Yes, so much.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
So when you know, in your journey in the last
twenty five years, how.

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Long have you had a team?

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Okay, and how how was the evolution of that going,
because you know, there's so many people that are like, oh,
I want to do a you know, I want to
have a team. I want to have a team. And
I've had every iteration. You know, you talk about it,
you give me advice, I get to vent about certain
things and all that kind of stuff because you've been there,
done that. But I will say, like, kudos to your team,
like number one team in twenty twenty five, already in

(26:16):
twenty twenty four. Was because they covered you, like they
fere of you while you healed, and it's not like
you're fully healed, but while you process, Like you told me,
I'm processing that the world that I'm living at currently
physically doesn't have Daddy in it.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
We all know he's with.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
You, and we all yes, he was a man of
God that we're gonna see him one day. We're gonna
have a biggold party that you're going to plan in heaven.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
But for now, he left it here.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Oh my god, it's a funny that's gonna make you laugh.
So my makeup art is that did my makeup for
becoming retreat B.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
With Beauty by b were Ah, Yes, I remember. She's amazing.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
We were talking and she was telling me about when
her dad passed away a few years ago, and she
was like, I was really mad at Daddy and I
was like why, She's like, because he left me down here.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
Girl.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
We chuckled so hard. She was I was like, you
ain't right, because I said, you're not wrong. My grandma
always says, don't be sad for me. I'm gonna be
in a better place.

Speaker 5 (27:06):
Yeah, Da Dad said, that is well, like, I.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Feel bad for you that you being left behind, but
your team covered you and to carry you the answered
emails that you know for things that they could like
you know, I know we were getting ready for the
retreat that like, you know, as soon as she gets back,
she you'll respond to you might No, no, I said,
don't worry about it.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
When she's ready to talk. I'm here. Her spot's held.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
But talk about that. Talk about building a team and
how do how does that help with your longevity in
general in the industry.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Well, let me start off by giving a shout out
to the D E Team. I love y'all. Y'all know
that I love love y'all. To pieces building a team.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
Is the only reason I'm in the business is long.
Let me just be honest.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
If I did not have the D Team, and the
D Team has evolved over time, but if I did
not have those women as a part of my business,
I would not be on here talking about twenty five years.

Speaker 5 (27:58):
I would have ended.

Speaker 4 (27:59):
Probably your team, I could end the year twelve, I
used to say. I just am sure that I would
not be here for that time, especially when you have
grief and trauma into your life. You have to have
someone or a group of people that can help you
navigate through that allow you the time to deal with it.

Speaker 5 (28:19):
But the business still keep going.

Speaker 4 (28:22):
And so for me building the team, I won't say
it was easy, but being an educator, I have been
teaching a certification program since two thousand and seven.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
Okay, So the big.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
Thing for me is I knew when I started the
business is not to actually be out on event day
wedding day by myself.

Speaker 5 (28:40):
Okay, So I knew that, so.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
I always had someone with me, my partner. She's since
decided to leave the business. I respect that she hung
with me for twenty years. She's tired now, but I
love you, Brizilla, but she wrote, she took the ride
and the journey with me for quite some time. But then,
as after the business started to grow and I left
Corporate America to make this a full time job, I

(29:03):
knew I was going to need a team. I knew
I was going to have to have someone in the office.
I knew I was going to have to have more
people on site because Priscilla needed time off, and I
knew if we were going to continue at the pace
of having multiple events.

Speaker 5 (29:16):
I could not.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Work an event Friday, Saturday and Sunday. My knees could
not work an event that long. So I was going
to have to have other people in place, And so
for me, it was training. I trained my team the
Dee way.

Speaker 5 (29:31):
Not the Google way, not the YouTube way.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Not what they all are saying on Instagram and TikTok.

Speaker 5 (29:39):
I taught them the.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
Way that I structured my business so that every client
received the same care as if it were me, as
if it were Priscilla, as if it were Nikki, and
so on and so forth.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
And so with that, I am always.

Speaker 4 (29:55):
Proud to say that I have very little turnover when
it comes to my team. For one, because I treat
them as family. They are my family, and when they're
going through things, when I'm going through things, we're here
from one another. Secondly, I make sure that we are
all well versed from an educational standpoint. I am also

(30:17):
very open to listening to their concerns or how they
think something could go different and help me out, because
like I said, I'm always a vessel for learning, and
so making sure that my team is truly a part
of Dejan Events has kept the longevity with this business.
And last year they held me down from June until
the end of the year. I just I was I

(30:38):
was moving physically, but I just was not not checked
in mentally. And so they had we had a lot
of weddings on the book, a lot of weddings and events,
and they took took the reins and did everything that
needed to be done.

Speaker 5 (30:51):
And I will forever be grateful to them.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Yeah, for that.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
They were checking emails, they were keeping up with the
social media.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (30:59):
Then I was like, go ahay, girls, you got this
like it was. It was a beautiful thing. And that's
what it is.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
It's like I tell people, even if you're a solopreneur
and you maybe have an assistant, I don't have an assistant.
Have friends in your market that do the same thing
you do, have the same kind of style and kind
of finesse and skills that you do. Like you need friends.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
You know.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Everyone say oh, community over competition, Like like you you
have because you have to because life happens. We're not
we're not robots. Like life happens when we're out here.
We got family, we got kids, we got you know,
there's life. And if you have a full time job
and you're doing this part time, like you need that.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
I mean, I remember doing the pandemic.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
I was a part of multiple phone trees because you know,
Georgia opened up like like in Mayor k Right Mayor
doing a twenty twenty and we were open and so
we know. I remember from that summer to December, I
was in two or three phone trees d D and
it was like, hey, I was exposed, are you available
next weekend?

Speaker 3 (31:55):
Just in case?

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Like it was like kind of those kind of things
that we all helped each other out.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
And it's it's nice like you have you know.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
And I tell the people too, and even venue owners
that I know who it's just that they're the only
person that sells and everything else. I'm like, if you
need somebody to come and sell the space or look
after the space. I've worked at events, I've worked at
event venues, let me know, because if you're looking out
for me, I'm gonna.

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Look out for you.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
But it's so true, yes, but you again, you have
to know what what does that success means to you?
And I think what I notice is especially you know,
and I hate to dwell on it, but I see
it all the time.

Speaker 3 (32:26):
Like our people do.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Is like, well, I don't want to hire anybody because
I'm gonna make less money. Actually you make more.

Speaker 5 (32:32):
Well, you make more because make me listen. Desa Ray
is saying, you make more money when you tell people more.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
People, and and and can I I want to share
this on your podcast and and and be transparent as
I always try to be.

Speaker 5 (32:48):
I have I now have a.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
Physical ailment due to being in this business for so long,
so I have I have an issue with my cervical spine.
And if I did not have other people that I
could lean on. And I'm not even just talking about
the D Team. I'm speaking about other planners in the
industry that we partner and work together. I can be

(33:09):
their assistant coordinator. They can be my assistant coordinator, whatever
that looks like. Because when I have a situation where
my neck is hurting, you know, the neck holds the
head up. So if your neck is not functioning properly,
the rest of you is not working properly. So when
I have an what I call an episode or a
moment in which I literally cannot move properly, I have

(33:32):
to have a tree of people that I can contact.
And that comes from relationship building starting with networking. And
I am a big proponent of saying organic relationship building,
you know, sending the email of hey, this is my portfolio,
I would like to work with you. That is not
organic relationship building. Okay, stop it. If that's what y'all

(33:53):
are doing, stop that.

Speaker 5 (33:54):
We don't want those messages.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
But as a planner, we get those emails all the time.
I'll get a call on a Friday afternoon, I'm like,
if you really understood planners, you would know that typically
I'm busy on a Friday afternoon, Yeah I'm again, or
Saturday morning, I'm.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Taking you the you know, something to do with the wedding.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
And I pick up the phone, I'm like, God, I
am getting ready for a wedding. Why are you thinking
about your photography your photography services?

Speaker 5 (34:17):
Exactly.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
It's all about organic relationship and then also having the
patience to understand that those relationships happen over time and
people get this this society now, in this industry now,
everything needs to happen so quickly. And when it comes
to really building a team building partnership with others in
the industry, venue managers and photographers and video out first

(34:41):
et cetera, et cetera, to really have a team because
those are those people are part of your team as well.
That takes time to build and you have to give
yourself patience to make that happen and the fortitude to
understand that. Yet everybody is not going to be a
part of the team. You're not gonna work well with everyone,
but we're still a community and we have to be
respectful of one another.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Who you said so much there, I remember, like I'm
a relationship person, right, Like I I'm touchy feely, I
love on everybody. I'm a Mama bearer. That's who I am.
And it's organic, and it's just because who I am.
Everyone says, Okay, it's like, yes, you know I love hospitality,
but I'm.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Also Latin, and you know we love everybody, right, we
just do.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
And so I remember during the pandemic video that I
would call the venues, you know, on behalf of my couples,
and I wasn't getting right into like what I call for,
Like we don't know what thousands, the thousand pounds gorilla
in the room. We know who who she I call
Corona the uninvited guests, we know who she is and
I but I was calling and be like, hey, if

(35:41):
I know you have kids, if I know you, if
you have parents in Florida or family in California, like
hey girl, how are you doing right? How you know,
how's the staff at the hotel dude?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Or at the venue? How are your parents in Florida?

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Or you know, I saw you posted this on social media,
like how's it going? And it'd be like a fifteen
twenty minute.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Conversation just about them.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
And now for no other reason then because I care
about these people. Like I always tell planners, we have
multiple customers. We have our couples, but then we also
have the vendors that we work with, the venues that
we work with. And I remember having a conversation with
one of our hotels, one of our you know, four
or five star hotels, and they were like a lot
of your girlfriends, your colleagues in this industry are going

(36:24):
to be black balls come next year when this is over.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
And I was like why because they're.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Calling me a nasty like there's no nastiness about it is, like, yes,
you work for the client, but I was like, you,
first of all, read the contract. The contract is a contract,
like I would like after those fifteen twenty minute citty
chet conversation, like, Yo, you know what I'm calling, and
I know what the contract says.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
But y'all, y'all.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Are for any miracle you know, by miracle by chance?
Are you doing anything special for these couples, Like you
know what I'm saying? And it was like treating them
well human and also business owner to business owner. Whether
they're the person who owns the business or not, they
still have to answer to the business owner.

Speaker 3 (37:00):
So it's kind of doing that and building those.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
Relationships, but also not forgetting about the relationships that you
already have built. So if you have been on a
Prefer vendor list for a long time, make sure.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
You still connect with them. And I just did that
this week.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
I was at an MPI event, ran into one of
my venue contests. She's like, well, you know you're on
our list. I'm like, I know, but I need to
meet your new wedding person because you have a new
wedding person. I know the rest of the team. I
don't know her. She's like yes, She's like, you know what,
let's have lunch together in June. And before I could
email her, she emailed me, but we had a whole conversation.
I had another conversation with another and these people that know, like, hey,

(37:36):
this is what I'm up to now, this is what
we're doing, and it's constantly and we're in a relationship. Listen,
We're planning events where people are in relationships and we
have to have relationships with each other.

Speaker 5 (37:45):
Very much.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
I love it very much.

Speaker 5 (37:47):
So yes, very true.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
So have there been moments, and now we've talked about this,
I have there been moments where you question if you
still wanted to do this and how did.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
You navigate it?

Speaker 2 (37:56):
And I know you're in a different stage right now
that you could talk about it, but you know, and
all the years that you've been I know there's ebbs
and flows. I just had one of those in February
and the kids were like, I'm going I'm going back
to working a regular nine to five and they were like.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
No, the last twelve years of their lives. You know,
life robs around them.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
You know, the business, my schedule robs around what they
need and their needs, which is that's what we wanted
it to do. And my son was like, haven't you
tired on a Saturday or Sunday? Here and there after
a wedding versus, have you ti your edgrum be every
day because you're working for the man nine to five
and you fight in traffic? He said, no, we don't
want that, No, not at all. That's that was so

(38:36):
like I never looked at it like that snapped me
out of that at that like the rage I was
having at that moment, and he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa whoa. And I was like, I don't mouth of babes,
but have you had those moments? I'm I'm pretty sure
you had all you know, we do it all the time.
In Chad's like, I'm done because these couple crazy, but
it's all good.

Speaker 4 (38:55):
I will say the one, well, there was twice, so
I've had burnout to the point of wanting to quit
twice that and I know we have our conversations probably weekly,
but literally twice, the first time being three bad reviews
back to back, and it was very early on in
my career, and it was about two thousand and eight,
two thousand No, I'm sorry it was two thousand and

(39:16):
nine because I talked about one of them on the
wedding tea funny enough, and it was having those bad reviews,
realizing that I was taking on so much that.

Speaker 5 (39:26):
I was now not offering my best self to.

Speaker 4 (39:30):
The couples on a day that they we can't redo
this day.

Speaker 5 (39:33):
We're not redoing it.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
They might have a vowery now, but we're not redoing
this wedding. And having three back to back was really disheartening.
I was traumatized by it, and so I was forced
into a position of really looking at my business and
how it was structured to determine if I was going
to be able to go into twenty ten this with

(39:56):
this business. Was I going to stain be able to
sustain this business? And so having that happen was very
eye opening for me. And then of course the financial
crisis that we dealt with in like twenty fourteen fifteen.
I think I've gone through three financial crisis.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Oh my god, oh Age, Yeah, you went through a
lot of them.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
Three and then COVID.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
So like fourteen, around fourteen fifteen, when business was really
really solid and we had so much on the book,
I was burnt out because I had no freedom to
do anything other than deal with client work and be
on site, and it was just physically taxing and I
was like, do I want to live like this because
at that time I had a.

Speaker 5 (40:37):
Well, I had a teenager.

Speaker 4 (40:39):
We talked about them and it was it was hard,
and I was like, just go back to corporate, you know,
get you some insurance.

Speaker 5 (40:48):
You know, at that time also I.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
Was I was dealing with with with relationship demise. You know,
my marriage had had broken down, and so it was
just so much going on that I was like, just
go get just go to easy route, get a get
a job, get a corporate job.

Speaker 5 (41:02):
Again.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
You'll be told us to do go get a nine
to five.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
Go get yes, get you for a one k.

Speaker 5 (41:10):
Do those things.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
And you know that that was hard, and at that
time it wasn't about the business.

Speaker 5 (41:16):
It was about soul searching about what.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
I needed, what I wanted to do as I continued on.
And so those are those are two times that really
stand out to me about you know, in the moments
of do I want to quit, do I want to
to to to continue on? But I will say, as
you can see, I didn't quit.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
My faith kept me going. My father kept me.

Speaker 4 (41:37):
Going and leaving a legacy like my father did for me,
leaving a legacy for my daughter is what's keeping me
going now.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
Even if she don't pick up the clipboard.

Speaker 4 (41:46):
And she's not going to, she's not going to, but
she is an entrepreneur. I am proud to say that
she'll be the third generation I can love my family.

Speaker 5 (41:55):
So I did.

Speaker 4 (41:57):
I did leave her the business side of of things.

Speaker 5 (42:00):
I help her a lot with the business. But now
she will not be a wedding.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
Oh yeah, my daughter. Was she spent?

Speaker 2 (42:07):
She said that was one of our thoughts, and she
spent one one of her full breaks. She spent an
entire day from ten in the morning to eight o'clock
at night with me site visits, final walk throughs, and
of course everybody spoiled her every stop. We made, our clients,
our vendors, the venues, and she was like, we get
in the car at the end of the night after
dinner and she's like, I could do what Tevin does,
which you know he is our former production manager. I

(42:30):
know he loved Evan, our former production manager. And she's like,
I don't mind doing that, the behind the scenes getting
things together, you know, managing the vendors. But she said
that front facing like I couldn't. She's like, you were
on all day, Mommy, like all day. I'm like, yeah,
so she wants to be she's thinking of law or architectures,
so we'll see which fuck she goes. But we laughed

(42:51):
and she's just like she would be really good at it,
but that part of like wooing everybody all day, she
couldn't do that. She's just like, nah, No.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
There's a special town for us to have to stay
spot on and excited and happy each and every weekend
or however often you have your events and weddings.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
That is a skill. It's a gift.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
And even when you're going through the hardest things in life,
like I've known people going through divorce and loss of
parents and loss of children, like and you still got
to kind of like show up and then we once
in a while.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
I'm just like, oh, that's what.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
We're part of the top five top ten most stressful jobs.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Because I think it was a top five.

Speaker 5 (43:29):
We're the top five, were number five.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Yeah, I'm like, we're dosters in surgeons and firefighters and teachers.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
Yeah, but like literally we have to stay spot on
all the time.

Speaker 5 (43:39):
And I'm like, I'm tired now.

Speaker 4 (43:41):
When I get home, I'm just sitting in the car
for about forty minutes before I even get out.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
I remember I did that one day and Duen was like,
he said, are you okay? And I was like, I
can't move? Yeah, Like I was good, And I literally
pulled up and I'm like, I'm thinking about moving my
legs and my legs are not moving, so he'll come
on help me. But he's like, you've been sitting there
for twenty thirty minutes. I was like, yeah, I just
sitting here.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Like trying to muster up, praying to get out the car.

Speaker 5 (44:06):
Oh, I got one for you.

Speaker 4 (44:07):
But are we the only industry that uses heated scenes
throughout the year? And I say that because you know
it's cold here. You know we've got our four seasons
up here. But in June, when after a wedding or event,
when it's one hundred degrees outside, my heat and seats
are on inside the car because my back needs some warm.

Speaker 5 (44:24):
Thing because it hurts.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
It hurts, yep, yep.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
It's crazy that Rememen. The kids worked one event with me,
one full event with me because Dwayne had to go
out of town, and I remember coming into the vendor room,
walking toward the vendor room to bring them food because
the kid was like feet babies and they're sprawled out
on the floor in this carpet, and I hear them saying,
no wonder, Mommy is so tired, and then my son
both did you hear how many times people called her

(44:49):
name today?

Speaker 5 (44:51):
Can I just say this one?

Speaker 4 (44:52):
It t I remember I had an intern from one
of my classes and she came to intern with me
on day and we always had them the next day
of class to kind of give a recap how they felt.

Speaker 5 (45:04):
Is this the industry you want to be in? And
she says, I don't want to be in this industry
any longer. And I was like, oh my gosh, did
something happen? Like why?

Speaker 4 (45:11):
She says, well, they called your name too much. I
just don't want to hear my name that much.

Speaker 5 (45:15):
I was like, oh okay, I said, you know, well
now you know.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
Now you know.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
And I had a young lady that was a nursing
major and wanting to come in shadow us. That she
came and she picked the biggest wedding we did. This
was Earl twenty fourteen and she's like, it was a
sixteen hour day. And I typically give everybody mondy, you know,
I don't bother them Sunday Monday. So I checked in
with her on Tuesday and she said, can I call you?
I'm like yeah, So she called me. She's like, oh,
I'm going to stay a nurse. She's like, I just

(45:43):
that was a lot, and I was like yeah, from
one day. So it's but it also for the kids.
It just give them a different appreciation for what I do.
You know, when they were younger, they're like, my son
was like, it's just a party. I'm like, oh, it's
not my party.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
That ain't my party.

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah, So I for you to give me some or
to give our listeners advice for the journey. So what
would you tell And this is there is a new
planner just starting out, okay, a mid career planner feeling
burnt out, and a season planner wondering what's next. So
I love this. I know, a new planner just starting out.

(46:19):
What would be your advice?

Speaker 4 (46:21):
The first thing I would say is develop the business plan.
I speak on this nationally. I'm serious about it.

Speaker 5 (46:27):
Now.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
You can start this business however you want to, but
in order for the business to truly be a business
and grow, you need a business plan.

Speaker 5 (46:37):
And I am not saying that you have to have it.
It has to be in depth. It has to be
you know, as if you are our corporate five hundred
company like.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
It doesn't have to start off like that, but you
have to have some plans in place so that you
know where you are going in the future. It will
also help you develop your pricing. It will help you
develop your services, your tea.

Speaker 5 (47:00):
All of those.

Speaker 4 (47:01):
Things come into play and they are a part of
the business plan. You need to have that as you
begin to move forward in this business. It is very,
very important and I don't shy away from that.

Speaker 5 (47:10):
That is that's how you need to start.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
And I would also say, get a coach or a mentor.
You do not know it all, okay, you just start
nowt like, let me keep it real, get a coach
or a mentor. Even if it's you know you say, oh,
I can't afford it. It's an investment inside I mean
into your business. So you want to make sure that
you have business plan, I would say. And then having

(47:34):
a cult or a mentor that at least, let's say
once a month.

Speaker 5 (47:38):
That you can reach out to with concerns.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
With issues or just with happy things that you want
to share with that person.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
And the business plan too, because I think, you know,
I teach a lot on SOPs set operating procedures, and
I think when you think of a business plan or
SOPs or something or a manual or something like that,
you're thinking of like what people take to the bank,
or like like you said, Corporate America has no, it's
not that robust. First of all, this is your company,
so you create it. But I think though too, with

(48:08):
like the AI stuff that we have on that you
could brand up and now it's going to create something
for you.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
But you need to have.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
A guide post for yourself as what's to his next.
But it also just like having the business plan. Within
your business plan, I think your mission and your vision
statement should be in there, and everything you do month
after month, year after year should help you gain those.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
Things that you put in that plan.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Like exactly, don't say yes if it doesn't if it
doesn't align with what you have in those plans, don't.

Speaker 5 (48:36):
Do that, you know, exactly, Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
A mid career planner feeling burned out.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
Oh yes, I've been here, like I already said several times,
a mid year planner. Okay, So first and foremost, stop
stop this spop.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
I'm sorry, st ft op.

Speaker 4 (48:54):
Stop And what I mean by that is stop, allow
yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, process what you
are feeling to determine what the next steps.

Speaker 5 (49:07):
For your business are going to be.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
If you're a mid tier, you've you've established your business
to a certain degree, You've got your branding in place,
et cetera, et cetera, your marketing, you're doing the social media,
you're out there with the clients, you you've got a vendor.

Speaker 5 (49:20):
Team going on. I get it. And now you're tired
a sack because you you you, and I want to
say something else, but now you're tired of tack.

Speaker 4 (49:28):
Okay, so stop, It's okay to stop and redefine yourself.
Determine if if the trajectory you are on is working
for you and so. And the only way to do
that is to really stop and digest and process what
is going on to determine where you're going to go next.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Yeah, just stopping, I think it's just stopping and looking
at what you said, like, looking at everything overall. Why
you feel in this way, what has you feel in
this way? You know what's going on personally? It's affecting
the business because I think business is very personal, especially
for women will own small businesses. And it's kind of
like pause and do an inventory, like brain dump, Like

(50:10):
I like my coating client lab. I'm like, I'm always there.
You have to brain dump. We got too many tabs
opened up. You got to put it on paper. And
there's something I was watching Meil Robbins the other day
and she was saying, there's like there's a science to
the brain and writing, like there's a whole, there's a
there's you know, God, don't make mistakes, Like there's a
reason he said, write the.

Speaker 3 (50:27):
Vision, making plain y'all.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Like something about writing gets you doing, gets it out.
But it's kind of looking at all that you've done correctly,
all that, all your successes first, and be like, okay,
take a deep press and now let's look at what
went wrong and how can we fix it and what's
not serving you write? Because your business should always evolve exactly,

(50:49):
it should always be changing and evolving, even if the
brand doesn't like the brand, Who you are, how you
service people, the systems that you use, all that stuff
should be evolving. But believe me, all of us in
that mid career, mid tier level.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
We still feel the.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Burnout, but again, why are we burned out? Like you've
realize it, Like I can't keep rolling like this. I
need to grow the team. So it's going to grow
the team. So yes, a season planner wondering what's next.

Speaker 4 (51:16):
Well, that is my side of things right now, that
is where I am at.

Speaker 5 (51:20):
And as you just said so eloquently, evolution.

Speaker 4 (51:24):
You are not yourself physically not going to be able
to continue planning events for the rest of your life.

Speaker 5 (51:31):
That's just virtually impossible.

Speaker 4 (51:33):
So what are the next steps for you? Is that speaking?
Is that educating? Is that creating a podcast or YouTube channel?
Is that writing? You know, creating ebooks or becoming an author?
What does the next phase in life look like for you?
It doesn't mean you have to depart the industry, because
for me, I haven't left the industry. My team handles

(51:53):
Dejenie events for the most part. But for me now
there are other things that excite me, that make me smile,
that give me joy, and that is where I am
leaning towards now. Still in the industry, just a different
facet of the industry.

Speaker 5 (52:08):
And so a season planner, you need to begin to.

Speaker 4 (52:10):
Put a plan of action together as to where you
want to be, because yeah, twenty five years in, but
can I tell you my body is hurting. Okay, years
still only twenty five years from what I've I've literally
pushed myself to do. And had I thought this way,
let's just say, ten years ago, I might have been

(52:31):
on a different trajectory when it comes to the business.

Speaker 5 (52:35):
So it is something you know, especially.

Speaker 4 (52:37):
If you're you're ten years in the business, even fifteen
years in the business, it's now it's time to start
thinking about that. And what does that retirement plan look like?
Which is my newest thing I'm speaking about it, so
I'm just throwing that out there, But what is my
what does retirement look like after you've been in this
industry for such a long period of time.

Speaker 3 (52:58):
I love that. I just love like what's next?

Speaker 2 (53:01):
And you know, some people, we've seen people do the
speaking thing and the and the this that, but then
we see people doing the.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
Travel thing, and it's like, what's next for you?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
But I want to say to you, sis, is that
I love the season you're in because you are truly
operating as a CEO. A see, yeah, a CEO is
not in the CEO is managing people, not the task.
So you manage your team, you met, you know you're doing.
But everybody has their role and everybody reports back to
you as what's going on, and everybody knows what they're doing.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
You trust them. They're capable all that good stuff. We're
not in the day to day.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
And I you know, our younger selves are like if
I don't do it, if I don't do it, no
one's going to do it, right, Like exactly, yeah, like
train them and move on. I mean my coach is
like that down too, Like she has a CEO in
training so that she could step away from the day
to day and just so she's you know, she just
manages an overall company. And then like she just had
her last you know, after seventeen years in business, had
her last physical wedding that she was doing and she

(53:58):
just did it in March and she's like, no, now
that now it's time. I'm managing the people and not
the task.

Speaker 3 (54:05):
And I'm not in this.

Speaker 5 (54:05):
Weddings this year and not our team doesn't. But I
I personally.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
Have two weddings this year and I'm happy, is right,
I'm so happy.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
And she's still eating, y'all like this the right bills
are to be but she has a team and then
you know which it takes. It takes a minute to
get there. But I think again, when you have a
business plan, when you have your goals, when you set
your systems in plans, your workflows, your sps, the list
goes on and on, it makes it easy to have longevity,
especially if this is something you want to do. But like, yeah,

(54:36):
I'm at that point now. I'm like, Okay, what's next
in the next eight to ten years? You know what's
next and kind of thinking of that and making plans
and adding that to the business plan, how you get
ready for that?

Speaker 3 (54:47):
But yes, great advice, really great advice.

Speaker 5 (54:49):
Thank you. You're that You're in that awesome season right now.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
I'm like in between, I'm like, I'm still.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Loving executing events, but executing weddings and events like it's
mostly the corporate ones, which is a larger one. And
then you know, God has blessed us that most of
the weddings that we have on the books for this
year and next year is full service or partial. Yeah,
and I love the full service because I start to
finish and the partial I'm just starting to let the
team take care partially and.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
They do all the wedding management ones.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
But I'm just like, yeah, next year will be less
and less, and then, you know, even telling my corporate
clients like, yeah, next year, I might not be your
lead get ready you know, you know, and they look
at me like, okay, but they'll be fun.

Speaker 5 (55:29):
Right.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
So my final question, well one of my final questions
is what do you hope your legacy in this industry
will be?

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Wow, that is a okay, I never thought about that,
and it would be useless.

Speaker 5 (55:43):
Who gives me this question? Legacy?

Speaker 3 (55:46):
You know?

Speaker 4 (55:47):
I would hope and continue that people say good things
about not only myself but about the business that I've created.
That people will say that i have been an honest
business woman, but that I've been a strong and endearing
business woman, that I've been a transparent business woman, and
that I've created something out of pretty much nothing with

(56:10):
a very little education.

Speaker 5 (56:12):
On how to be a wedding an event planner.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
Would I would hope that that would be my legacy,
and as I mentor and coach and educate those from
you know, via zoom or even on the stage, I
hope that they listen and learn from not only my
mistakes but the good things that I have to share
with them as well.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
I love that yes, and kindness and listen. Everyone's like this,
she's so straightforward, but she's kind I'm like, yes, yes.

Speaker 5 (56:44):
I want people to know that I'm approachable, and I.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
Think you're approachable, but you're like, it's tough love still love.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Yeah, and I want everybody to be better than I was.

Speaker 5 (56:54):
You know, when I started saying.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
I want you to I don't want you to make
these same crazy mistakes things. If I can help you
allow me to do so, I'm willing to do this
from my heart.

Speaker 2 (57:04):
So yeah, yeah, we made a real last year after
the retreat. Last year, it was like we made the
mistakes that you don't have to ye.

Speaker 3 (57:10):
It was like a real that.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
We made with all of you, all the different speakers
that we had, because everybody's coming from a place like
I've been telling everybody, I'm coming to you from a
healed scat, like healed wounds, not from the wound, not
one scal like heal, like this is what I've learned,
and you know, and then I'm always praying about it,
like okay, like there is a home talk lesson about

(57:31):
building a team that I know that this brewing, and
I'm just like every time I go through something, I'm like, Okay,
this is gonna be a really good testimony of a
good lecture.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
But I'm tired yet.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
But it's all good. It's all good. But I love that.

Speaker 3 (57:46):
I love that. It's like, you know, approachable.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
My coach's husband calls it heavenly sampaper, like I love you,
but let me just like it's a little rough, but
I love you. And that's one of the things, is
like the you also one of your legacies. Also just kindness,
like just just kindness, especially to other people in the
industry too, Like, oh, she's so approachable. I could talk
to her and she understands cause we've twenty five years.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
I've been there. Please don't think that I have not
been there.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
The couples may be new, but the situations are all
the same exactly.

Speaker 5 (58:16):
Oh my god, repeat that, I repeat.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
They're all the same every year, like every once in
a while, once or twice a year. I'm like, well,
that's a new one. But for the most part, I
don't care if they're Caucasian or not. Everybody has some
kind of issues. But you know, the business side of
things changes and we have to evolve with that. But
it's still the most emotional thing someone will ever do,
right on their doting ding, and we get to help

(58:39):
them walk that journey.

Speaker 3 (58:40):
So thank you for that.

Speaker 2 (58:42):
It's been so good to have you. Tell the people
how they can find you. Tell them Listen. She got
all kinds of projects going on, but one of my
favorites that she's dug about is her YouTube channel now
that I just love. Oh, tell the people how they
can find you, what you up to and all that
good stuff.

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Okay, I'll make things quick. I got a lot of
irons in the fire. So from my planning company, dejen
Air Event. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, My
website's Dejana events dot com. You can email me Deseret
Dejena events dot com on an open I'm an open
book is is it is shared with you, So.

Speaker 5 (59:17):
The planning company is still there.

Speaker 4 (59:18):
I am also my newest love, my newest happy place
is being a wedding efficient.

Speaker 5 (59:24):
I created the.

Speaker 4 (59:25):
Business during COVID and Marry Me Ceremonies is on all
the social media platforms and it's marry me shy is
the website.

Speaker 5 (59:34):
I'm going through a rebranding process. It will be Marry
Me Ceremonies very soon, but right now it's marry Me. Shy.
I love officiating it is, you know, it's it's a
different side.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
I'm still helping on the planning side of that for
the ceremony, but it is so beautiful and intimate to
get to know a couple that way, and less less
taxing on the body I will.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
See in it now, honey, that's I'm like, it's not
that hard.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
Not that hard, and I cra I love crafting a
beautiful love story. All of my ceremonies are personalized and
with a loving touch, so I love that. But I
re mentioned my favorite happy place, which is the wedding tea.

Speaker 5 (01:00:11):
Okay, so that wedding thank you. It's on YouTube actually.

Speaker 4 (01:00:18):
The newest story. I come out every Friday with a
new story, and I didn't let my viewers know. It
comes out at twelve o'clock Central Standard time every Friday
on YouTube. Moving to Spotify by the within June, so
it'll be in a podcast form as well. But I
get on there and I am sharing stories of the
last twenty five years of being in this industry and

(01:00:39):
some of the crap that has happened to me is
unbelievable real but it really did happen.

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
It doesn't feel real.

Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
It really did happen. So that is fun. It's like purging.
But I have a lot of a lot of fun
on it. But the crazy thing about it, I ring
that I've never shared with you, is that I'm getting
a lot of feedback. Is it's a learning yes, And
I hadn't thought about that because Zoom, because you always
text message you like, well do we what.

Speaker 5 (01:01:07):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
So newer planners or even you know more that Mintier
Planner are watching and everybody's watching it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:14):
I love it, but it's it's a good time.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
I enjoy purging and sharing the stories. And there's a
project that will be coming from the channel in twenty
six which I won't announce yet, but there's a project
that's coming from that, so I'm quite grateful.

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
But those are just three things.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I am also mentor and educator with what Ology tool Kid,
And yeah, I got that.

Speaker 5 (01:01:36):
Those are some of that few irons.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
She's busy. She's busy. I love that. I love the stage,
that stage that you're in.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
But yeah, the wedding say like like when you have
part one part two for I'm like, oh no, I'm
gonna wait next week than you what happened. It's like
it's like a it's a soap opera and she tells them.
She tells the stories so well. She she she doesn't
give the names to protect the end.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Off, but it is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
If you've been in business or in the wedding industry
for any amount of time, you're just like, mmmm, yeah,
I've had some situations like that, and every once in
a while you're like, that really happened. My parents are
the one thing that they missed in twenty the Christmas
of twenty twenty was me coming home and them telling
them the stories of things that happened that wedding year.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
And they're like, we.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Missed that because I would tell them things and they're
like they look at me like that didn't happen, Like no, No,
it's human psychology on it on like display in its
rarest form, Like yeah, it's it's what experiments are made for.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Gonna I'm gonna have you on my show. I am
opening it up.

Speaker 5 (01:02:34):
It was supposed to happen this month, but a whole
bunch of.

Speaker 4 (01:02:35):
Other things happen, like being an MC to a conference
that I've been interviewing all of the speech out to
the ABU shout out to ABC while we're at a wedding.
Irene will be on the stage there in November, New Orleans.

Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
So I've been interviewing the speakers.

Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
So my plan was to start inviting planners and other
industry pros to the show to tell their stories as well,
so it can just become a big community.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
Oh my doctri's so exciting.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
So it'll be opening up in June. So I'm really
excited about.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
The things that we that we know.

Speaker 5 (01:03:07):
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
Well, thank you, my friend. I appreciate it so much
for having you on today.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
I know you've been.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
Busy talking a lot today and this week, but I
appreciate your time and I hope that this was just
as inspiring to all of you. So thank you so
much for sharing your wisdom, your heart, and experience with
us today. You're truly a blueprint for what's possible when
passion meets perseverance. So for everyone listening, whether you're just
starting out or you've been in business for years, let

(01:03:36):
this be your reminder that longevity isn't just about time.
It's about intention, and as Desiree reminded us, it's about
showing up, growing up, staying true to your purpose, and
staying true to your purpose. If you love this conversation,
be sure to follow Desiree and check our dej and
A Events and the wedding team in the show notes.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
I will link all of it in the show notes.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
And don't forget to subscribe, rate us and share this
episode with another planner who needs to hear this. And
until next time, keep planning with purpose. I love you
and God bless

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S2 Ep.11 - Longevity in the Wedding Planning Industry with Desirée Dent

Episode Transcript

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S2 Ep.11 - Longevity in the Wedding Planning Industry with Desirée Dent