Ellen M Adelman – Access Your Inner Wisdom with Mind-Body Intelligence Practices

Air Date - 25 February 2025

Learn how Mind Body Intelligence® practices and can support you in developing the skills and tools to deepen your connection to your inner world, decrease your stress and anxiety, and connect you with your warrior heart.  In doing so, you nurture compassion for yourself and others.

About the Guest:

Ellen M Adelman, PhD is a Licensed Psychologist who has been in clinical practice for over 40 years. She has been practicing and studying mindfulness meditation for the past twenty years. She is the founder of PsyCare Solutions Inc. and The Sage Healing Institute, which is dedicated to relieving psychological and physical suffering through the integration of traditional Western psychology and the principles of Buddhist Psychology. This treatment program and approach is called Mind-Body Intelligence ®.

Dr. Adelman teaches Mind Body Intelligence® classes to the general public and offers training to mental health clinicians throughout the year. She also facilitates clinical supervision and treats patients at PsyCare.

MBI® programs nurture deep compassion for oneself and a sense of mindful community. Therapists learn to integrate MBI® strategies into their work.

Dr. Adelman is the author of Mind Body Intelligence, A Guide to Nurturing Compassion: Inside and Out.

Social Media:

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine
and tune in for inspired Conversations with publisher Linda Joy
on Tuesdays at two pm Eastern. Linda creates sacred space
for leading female luminaries, empowering authors, heart centered female entrepreneurs,
coaches and healers. A soulful venue where guests openly share

(00:23):
the fears and obstacles they've overcome, wisdom and lessons learned,
and the personal journey that led them to the transformational
work they do in the world. Inspired conversations to empower
you on your path to authentic, soulful living.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Well going to Inspired Conversations. I'm your host, Linda Joy,
publisher of a Spire magazine, mindset elevation coach, and I
love bringing you conversations that guide you deeper into understanding yourself.
And you know, one of the things I think we
could all use a little more of these days is compassion.

(01:05):
Compassion for ourselves, compassion for others. And that's why I'm
really excited to bring you today's guest, Doctor Ellen Adelman,
is here to teach us and talk about mind body intelligence,
which is a path to deepen compassion for ourselves and others.
It's also a path to manage stress and anxiety in

(01:28):
ways that promote healing for everyone. She is a licensed
psychologist who has been in clinical practice for over forty years.
She's been practicing and studying mindfulness meditation for the past
twenty years. She's the author of Mind Body Intelligence, A
Guide to Nurturing Compassion inside and Out. She's the founder

(01:50):
of Side Care Solutions and the Sage Healing Institute, which
is dedicated to the relief of both psychological and physical
suffering through the integration of traditional Western psychology and the
principles of Buddhist psychology. This treatment program and approach is

(02:11):
called Mind Body Intelligence. Welcome, doctor Ellen.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Thank you very much, Linda.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
So I'm curious. I have your book in my hand.
For one, the cover just draws you right in like
ah peace. But I'm curious what was the journey for
you personally and professionally to developing the Mind Body Intelligence
path modality trainings?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Okay, good question. So I've always been interested in spirituality,
and you know, psychology is the study of the psyche,
the spirit, the soul, we might say, and became aware

(03:02):
of a workshop at the Cape Cod Institute many years ago,
and it was on psychology and spirituality, and I'd never
seen such a thing, so I was very excited to go.
Cape Cod Institute was a lovely experience. We got to
be in the seminar five mornings and the rest of

(03:26):
the time we were on our own, and I love
cape Cod, so it worked out really well. And the
course was taught by a psychoanalyst, a psychologist and a
nun and they were talking to us about incorporating spirituality
into our practice and to encourage us to talk with

(03:48):
our patients about their spiritual life because this is a resource.
And so I learned more about meditation and mindfulness in
that class, and I was very excited and went forth
to go to many many seminars and work with many
different teachers, both Buddhist and Jewish, who were talking about

(04:16):
meditation and mindfulness practice, including Pema Children who wrote The
Wisdom of No Escape, and ticknat Hahn, and those two
have been my masters, I would say, having the greatest
influence on my work. Both of them are very psychologically savvy,
which resonated for me. They were clearly both interested in

(04:40):
how does spirituality and psychology fit together? And so that
was the beginning of a long journey, and as a psychologist,
I always want to see if I can have as
much impact and help as many people as possible, And
so I began teaching and presenting at conferences and teaching

(05:07):
mind body intelligence as a modality for therapy. And that's
been lovely too, That.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Is so beautiful. I always love how our journey naturally
unfolds when we follow the signs, like when you saw
the event at the Cape Cod venue that you just said, ooh,
this resonates. It's like I feel like our paths are
always with being led. And how would you describe for
those listening, what is mind body intelligence?

Speaker 3 (05:40):
Okay? So mind body intelligence is the integration of Western
psychology and Buddhist psychology. And many people are not aware
of the influence of that Buddhist psychology has in our lives.
But I think a good example is the book Don't
Sweat the Small Stuff. So it has. It has informed

(06:05):
our folk culture in many ways, and certainly mindfulness uh
has become a part of our natural lexicon. People talk
about it all the time. So so the way it
works is we we begin to notice our inner world

(06:33):
and and to develop a sense of what is going
on inside of us, and NBI offers, sorry offers a
path to do that. We identify our inner characters and
we learn to be able to talk with them and

(06:55):
invite them to help us and to work with us
in ways that are helpful rather than harmful. So one
example of this is the critical witness, which everybody recognizes
and everybody has one, and this is our inner voice
that comments on how we're doing and what's happening and

(07:22):
the choices we're making all day long and sometimes even
while we're asleep. And the critical witness can be very
difficult for us because that part of us can be
demeaning and derogatory. And everyone knows that people thrive and
do best in an environment of loving, kindness and compassion,

(07:46):
and so having this critical voice, and depending on who
you are and how you were raised, probably it's more
or less, but having it go on all the time
interferes with our self esteem and our ability to navigate
in helpful ways through life. So one of the first

(08:09):
things we do in MBI is we learn to recognize
our critical witness, listen to that voice when it shows up,
and insist on a kinder voice. And the foundation practice
for this is a meditation practice, and it's concentration meditation

(08:31):
where we sit and we focus on the breath and
we see about refraining from striving and judgment and criticism.
And when we hear the critical witness, oh, you can't
do this, you have too many thoughts. You you're not
good at this. Other people are better. You should get
a mindfulness app we ask that voice to talk to

(08:56):
us like we're somebody of a love. So you know,
I'll listen to you, critical witness, but not if you're
going to be mean, and not if you're going to
be critical. See about letting me know what you're concern
is in a nicer way, and it actually happens. And
people most people feel like, oh, well, I have this

(09:18):
negative voice all the time and there's nothing I can
do about it. I'm stuck with it. But it's actually
not the case. The critical witness is able to transform
into a benevolent witness with our help. And so we
use meditation, and certainly concentration meditation is our is our

(09:40):
foundation practice, and we also work with the body mind,
so and that is one of our characters. And again
this is this is a character that people aren't really
conversant with It's really fascinating that that we treat our

(10:02):
body mind as a sort of a second class citizen,
and we can be very disparaging and dismissive because again
we feel like there's nothing we can do. So I
have a headache. Oh God, I've got a headache, another headache?
What is going on with me? Why is this happening?

(10:22):
Let me go take something. And we don't realize the
power of sitting in concentration, meditation and sending loving kindness
and tenderness to the part of our body that is suffering,
and it actually has a powerful, powerful effect. So we're

(10:45):
putting all that together. And then, last but not least,
we incorporate chigung into the practice, which is the parent
tradition of tai chi and kung fu, and it allows
us to meditate in ways that are healing. It has

(11:06):
a lot of its roots in traditional Chinese medicine. So
it's mindful movement and meditation together with the intention of
creating a healthier being. And so those are the things
that come together in a nutshell.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
For MBI, it sounds so beautiful. I was listening writing
notes like critical witness in my mind reminds me of
what I may refer as the inner critic, and I
was writing down the different characters. We're going to take
our first break, doctor Ellen, and when we come back,
I want to talk about some of those other inner
characters to help our audience understand how they may show up.

(11:46):
Like I have an inner goddess, I have an inner critic,
and I'd love to hear more about those characters that
we all have. So we'll be back at a moment,
my friends, Please visit doctor Ellen at Sagehealinginstitute dot com.
All her details are in the show notes, and we'll be.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
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Speaker 2 (14:16):
Welcome back. You're listening to inspire conversations with me today
as doctor Ellen Adelman of Sage Healing Institute dot com
and author of Mind Body Intelligence, A Guide to Nurturing
Compassion Inside and Oe. Ellen, as you were speaking before,
I was writing all my notes and so I was

(14:40):
read before the break. I mentioned that, like, I know,
I have the inner critic, that's I've been loving and
nurturing for probably the last twenty years because she used
to be very harsh, and I have inner goddess. What
are some of the other characters internally that may show up?

Speaker 3 (15:01):
So yes, the critical witness, uh, certainly is is very important.
And as we do this work, and I can hear
it in your in your description Linda, that you've done this,
the critical witness begins to transform into the benevolent witness,
and that is described as as really our own internal

(15:23):
best friend, a part of us that can be objective,
uh and see us uh in in a way that's
not critical. So that so that it's you know, the
example I like to give is I cut myself shaving,
and you know, critical witness is going to say, oh,

(15:44):
my god, look what you've done. You know, that's awful,
and look at that blood and is it going to
stop bleeding? And how stupid and what were you thinking?
Et cetera. And it could go on and Benevolent Witness
is going to say, oh, at that, you know, we
cut ourselves. Well, I guess I have to do something
about that. Yes, look at that good, healthy red blood. Okay,

(16:09):
and what's the next right thing? And I've got to
clean that up? And and then you know, I'm gonna
think about what do I need to do to prevent
that from happening next time? Well, maybe I was distracted,
maybe I was stressed. Maybe I need to make a
pact with myself to not be thinking about other things,

(16:31):
to really focus on shaving in a way that's not
gonna injure myself. So that's that's an example of Benevolent Witness,
very important character. And we also identify a couple other
important people. One of them is Dragon, and Dragon is

(16:57):
the character that we experience and more anxious and so
dragon we see dragon in the imagery that I like
to use, is he gets as big as a float
in a Macy's Day parade, and he inflates himself and

(17:17):
he breathes smoke and fire, you know, and he catastrophizes.
And so our task in working with this character is
first of all, to breathe, because that allows us to
refrain from being in the sympathetic fight or flight state,

(17:38):
and then to talk to him and say, all right, look,
I know your I know this situation is triggering painful,
precious memories. And I'm going to listen to you, but
you have to shrink down to your normal size and
you got to stop with the smoke and fire and catastrophizing.

(18:01):
And I'll listen to you. I'll listen to what you
have to say. And it's amazing, but it happens. And
most of my folks who participate in NBI talk about
their dragon shrinking down to the size of a small
or medium sized dog, and they like to think of

(18:21):
their dragon as a dog that needs help. He needs direction,
he needs he needs some loving kindness, but he also
needs some limits. And then we can ask, well, what
are the painful, precious memories that are triggering you? And Okay,
I understand that's a situation and yeah, that did happen before,

(18:43):
but that was then and this is now, and so
Dragon can calm down, and then we can see about
handling the situation as best we can with all our faculties,
because when the sympathetic system is activated, we can't think clearly.
So that's another important character. There's inner mother, there's inner father,

(19:10):
and and we can interact with them in helpful ways.
And uh so those are those are Those are some
of the other people. And then people identify other characters
like child's self. And we talk in the in the
Mind Body Intelligence work book, we talk about the two

(19:33):
characters that get involved when we when we think about meditating,
and one is I'm all for it, and the other
is that I don't feel like it. And the way
that we work with them honoring both characters to see
what it is they have to say, and and then

(19:53):
we can make a decision about what is the next
right thing. So those are just a few.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Nove because energetically I could connect with each one as
you were sharing them, and I love how you converse
with them, and especially like the Dragon, you know, especially
these days, there's so much anxiety and stressing, worry, And
when you did the visual of the Macy's parade, I'm like, oh,

(20:19):
I know that little guy, well big guy, but also
I've learned that especially I struggled with severe anxiety and
depression for thirty five of my sixty three years, and
so when you gave me that visual I immediately remembered
what it felt like when that dragon was so big
and loud and frightening. And now it is for myself anyway.

(20:45):
It is like that that puppy dog that just needs
some training. You know that once some love and nurturing,
and sometimes you know, when it rears up for me,
I speak to it with love and say, I understand
that you're afraid, but I'm going to move forward anyway.

(21:05):
I will listen to you, but you can't lead the way.
And having that inner conversation in journaling to my fears,
to my anxiety or I guess as you call the
dragon has been life changing for me because I'm assuming
you've seen this in your practice. I used to run

(21:25):
from my anxiety and fear. So what happens when you run?
The dragon chases you? Right? So does that resonate what
you've seen too? When we go inward instead of running
from it, we then have the power to transform it
and transmute.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
It right right, Well, so you know, emmy, I also
relies on some principles of Buddhist psychology, and those include
the four Noble Truths. And one of the four truth
says that what causes us suffering is clinging an aversion,

(22:05):
which is exactly what you're talking about, Lindo's. When we
run away from things, it causes us more suffering. So,
as counterintuitive as it may be, to embrace our dragon,
that's the thing that's gonna help us heal and feel better.
And I like to say, you know, everybody wants to

(22:28):
be heard. Everybody want to wants to be heard, our
external characters and our internal characters. And it's okay for us,
as our identified selves or our adult characters to be
able to set some limits. So listen, little guy, you know,
now that he's shrunk down, I'm gonna I'm gonna hear

(22:49):
your concerns. I will listen to you, but you can't
behave in these ways. So calm down, talk to me,
you know, calmly and meaningfully, and I will listen, and
then I will address whatever problem it is you're concerned about.

(23:10):
And this compassion and limits is a beautiful thing. And
it of course that only works in our internal world,
but it works in our external world as well, And
the more we do it internally, the more we're able
to do it externally.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
It's beautiful and powerful and it just resonates on a
sole level with me, of compared to how I used
to live in complete avoidance, running just not wanting to
face what was uncomfortable. And then of course it just
kept growing into the size of a dragon that's in

(23:47):
the Mass Day parade. And so I just loved that
because I'm a visual person, so as you were sharing
that part of the dragon, I have a feeling as
many other visuals here and they're like, oh, yes, that's
what happens with me. So we we take our next break,
and I want to come back and talk about some

(24:10):
of the language we use every day, how it influences
how we behave and increases ours suffering. And my friends,
we will be back in a moment. I am with
doctor Ellen Adelman of Sage Healing Institute dot com and
we'll be right back.

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Speaker 2 (26:30):
You're listening to inspired conversations. Thanks for joining me. I'm
Linda Joy and with me today is doctor Ellen Aedelman
of Sage Healing Institute and author of Mind Body Intelligence.
And you know, I was reading in your book that
mind body intelligence actually enables you to decrease stress and anxiety,

(26:50):
which we were just talking about with the Dragon story
connect with the own warrior Heart. And when I read
that phrase, I was like, oh, I love that phrase.
Increase your happiness in each pre as a moment, improve
your physical health and so much more so. One of
the things is I'm always saying this our in our words,
and I teach my clients and my mindset community, like

(27:14):
watch the scripture telling yourself because it's I feel it's
either crafting your happiness or your unhappiness. So could you
share how our language does influence us?

Speaker 3 (27:29):
Okay, so we our brains are designed to think about
the world dualistically, you know, black and white, and we
do this all the time. I like this, I don't
like that. I only like vanilla. I won't eat chocolate,
and this is good and this is bad. And also,

(27:54):
you know, the language of striving, I think, really separates
us from the present moment. And the famous quote from
Yoda who says to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, there
is no try, there is only do or not do.
So so we, you know, we focus on that and

(28:19):
and every time we sit to meditate, we we set
the intention of refraining from striving, judgment and criticism because
because these actions actually separate us from the moment, and
and of course that increases suffering. So the other practice

(28:41):
that's important here is uh is equanimity. And by that
I mean actually realizing that that things are not dual.
So one could say, oh, I had a bad meditation session.
Oh well, what was bad about that? Well? I had

(29:04):
a lot of thoughts and you know, I really never
felt a serene and in equanimity practice, we're going to say, well,
what was the benefit to you? What benefit did you experience? Oh,
because once you say it's bad, that's it. We've written
it off, it's all done, it's all gone, and it

(29:26):
just goes on the list of not nice things that
happened to me today. Whereas if we're open to the
reality of the moment, Okay, well, I noticed that I
had a lot of thoughts. I noticed that I was
thinking about things that are unresolved for me. I noticed

(29:49):
that when I focused on the breath, I felt better. Wow,
so those are some benefits I experienced. So maybe I
don't want to label this a b add meditation experience.
I want to just label it for what it was.
And I learned something and I and I experienced something

(30:11):
of benefit, which exists in everything, even the most difficult things.
And so language has a lot to do with with
how we feel because we tend to follow it in
our assessment of what is health, healthful, helpful, hopeful, and

(30:35):
it influences everything. There's a lovely Buddhist saying that I
am fond of it says, do not mistake the finger
pointing at the moon for the moon. So this thing
that you know, we call the moon is way more

(30:56):
than these four letters and whatever imagery we have attached
to it. It's way more than that. And to enter
into that is a very liberating and sometimes a spiritual experience.
And so that's what can be encouraged when we see

(31:19):
about refraining from doualistic thinking.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
That in a nutshell, yeah, and that black and white
thinking too, And I mean, we've all been there. It
just keeps us so limited because it just keeps us
limited in our own view of the world, of our situation,
et cetera. Where what you just beautifully described having that

(31:45):
conversation and understanding that it's so much more than just
black and white. I thought that was powerful. So I
appreciate that. What are the physical benefits of the mind
body intelligence practices and why tapping into the breath is

(32:07):
so important?

Speaker 3 (32:10):
Okay, I'm glad you asked me that. Over the years,
I've had lots of experience with people coming. They'll come,
you know, for therapy, and they'll say, oh, I have
a meditation practice. Okay, tell me about that, and what's
that like for you? And and how about the breath?

(32:32):
And often people would say oh no, and said anything
to me about that, and sometimes people say, oh, well,
I've been told to take a deep breath and hold
it for eight counts. Sometimes people say that too, and
so there's a lot of misinformation out there still about

(32:53):
the breath. So wow. So in in the book, there's
a whole chapter on the body mind and speaking of visually.
One of the things that we do in that chapter
is take a little, a little little miniaturized submarine trip

(33:15):
through the body to see what happens when our anxiety
and stress filled states are triggered. And so we learn about,
you know, the sympathetic nervous system, which is the fight
flight or freeze system, and we learn about the parasympathetic

(33:36):
which allows us to have endorphins and serotonin and growth
hormone cell repair, enhancement of the immune system, and the
way our physiology is designed. It's both of those systems
cannot be active at the same time. It's a one

(34:00):
is on and one is inhibited. And people tend to
think of it in a different way that like, oh,
it's my you know, sleep system is off and that's
why I can't fall asleep. It's actually your wake system
is on and your sleep system is inhibited. And one

(34:21):
thing that is so important and so central to the
practice and to mindfuless practice in general, is that when
we breathe in this particular way of direpormatic breathing, which
means that the chest doesn't move but the belly expands
as we breathe in and relaxes as we breathe out.

(34:45):
That kind of breathing is tied forever to the parasympathetic
nervous system. So when we are breathing diaphragmatically, we are
are in this lovely state of serenity and self care

(35:05):
and calm and feeling good and physiological repair. And when
we are in a sympathetic state, all sorts of other
things are going on the production of stress hormones, and
all of these sugars and cortico steroids get dumped into

(35:28):
the bloodstream and there they sit until we do something
active to get rid of them, which means running away
or fighting. So when we sit to meditate, we learn
to focus on the breath that allows us to anchor

(35:49):
ourselves into this moment, and it also provides this wonderful
healing environment in our inner world. Then that becomes a
associated with meditating and also with feeling safe, and that
feeling of safety allows us to explore our inner world.

(36:13):
So this is the mind body connection, and it's very
very it's very powerful. And the fact again that we
can have some influence in some agency with our body
mind and say no, no, let's not do that sympathetic thing.
Here's a way through it so that we can come

(36:34):
back to the parasympathetic and enjoy whatever benefits that has
to offer us.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
This resonates. I'll tell you a quick story. I've been
with my honey for thirty years, and I have lived
a very full life. Let's say that so trauma, runaway
high school, drop a welfare mom, and then transform my
life thirty years ago. And I remember when we first
started dating, would be watching TV and I he'd suddenly

(37:05):
go hey, I go what because you're holding your breath again?
And then I just I had a pattern for thirty
something years and sometimes it can still happen where I
was always holding my breath without even knowing I was
holding my breath. There was such a pattern. Do you
feel like that one habit? I guess is the word

(37:30):
was from childhood, like always being on guard, always waiting
for the other shoe, to drop. I just love your
thoughts on it. Most of the time I'm more conscious now,
but if there's a lot going on in life, I'll
have that tendency and I'll catch myself. What's your thoughts
on that origination?

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, I agree with you. I'm sure it's from childhood,
and you know it's associated with being visual. You know
what harmful thing is going to come at me next,
and let me prepare for that. So interestingly, in traditional
Chinese medicine, the answer to the question where is anxiety

(38:15):
located in the body is the lungs.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Yeah, that's where I feel it. That's where, right, So
where I feel like constriction, tightness, solar plexus area also,
so that really resonates with me and I can I
he used to mess he used to have to say
it three, four, five times a day. Now he hory
ever says it. And sometimes I'll catch myself if I'm in,

(38:43):
you know, in one of that doing doing doing mode,
or we got changes going on in the life. But yeah,
it was a pattern for a long long time. I
had to be really conscious and be present in my
body because of course, as a child, I wasn't present
in my body because I couldn't be so everything.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
I'm going to suggest something to you.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Of course, please.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
So what you might do as you sait in concentration
meditation is is talk to your body mind and explain
to her that you know you're safe and that she
really doesn't need to do that so much anymore. And
send some loving kindness and tenderness even even to your lungs,

(39:33):
you know, to wherever it feels like that resides and
and that will be a healing thing.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
That is so beautiful. Thank you. I so appreciate that
really resonates. And there's no accidents right that we that
I needed this part of the conversation too. So we're
going to take a final break, my friends, and we'll
be back with doctor Ellen Adelman of Stage here Leaninstitute
dot com. Be sure to visit her check out the

(40:02):
show note, get a copy of her book, which we'll
talk more about in the final segment. We'll be right.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
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Speaker 2 (42:25):
Thanks for joining us as you're listening to inspired conversations.
Doctor Edelman. One of the things I want to mention
about your book is that it includes a workbook that
offers the basic eight weeek guide to establishing your integrated
MBI practice. We can track our progress, record observations. I
just love that you included all of that to help

(42:47):
guide us on this journey.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
And so you know, the title is a guide to
nurturing compassion inside it up and I started the show
and introducing you that you know, sometimes compassion, we lose
it for others, but we even lose our own self compassion.
So how does MBI help us offer compassion to ourselves

(43:14):
others in the world.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
Okay, So it's one of the interesting things that I've
encountered over the years is that when I talk to
participants about compassion, they'll say, I can be compassionate to others,

(43:37):
but not to myself. And it's very interesting. In a
textbook on psychotherapy and mindfulness, the authors made this conclusion
which I had trouble with, which was, oh, no, Americans
are not good at that. We can't offer compassion to ourselves,
but it's okay to start with offering compassion to others.

(44:01):
And you know, I have a lot of problems with that.
So so this work, it resides within us and then
it flows outward into the world, and so we might
wind up and we talk about this in the book too.

(44:22):
Feeling pity for somebody, which is really different from compassion.
Pity means that other person has some problem that I don't,
and therefore I feel pity for them. It separates us
from the other person, because really we're all one and

(44:44):
what distresses or hurts someone else also hurts us. So
one of the practices that that is employed in NBI
is called tongue ln. It comes from it's a Buddhist practice,
and it's also very counterintuitive because what it involves is

(45:08):
addressing a particular incident that may have caused distress or
difficulty or hurt and as we sit in concentration meditation,
breathing in that pain, and we might even use words
like it really hurt me when that person made fun

(45:28):
of me. I feel so small when that happens. It's
so uncomfortable for me. And we're breathing that in, and
it's interesting people say, why would I want to breathe
that in? Well, it's in there already, so all you're
doing is taking care of it by acknowledging it and
not running away from it. And so I breathe that in,

(45:51):
but on my outbreath, I sign loving kindness and tenderness
to my own heart, and that heals me and that
makes me someone who can offer kindness and loving compassion
to somebody else. And so the part too of tonguelin

(46:12):
is oh, I had this interaction with someone that didn't
feel good. So first I offer compassion to myself and
then I can sit with their difficulties. So what was
the what was the thing that was causing this behavior? Oh,
that person doesn't feel very good about themselves. That's why
they need to make fun of someone else. And I

(46:34):
breathe that in and I send loving kindness to that
person's heart, and it is so powerful and so healing.
And I'll tell you a quick little story. I when
I the very first time I did this, I was
having some ongoing little issue with my husband and and

(46:58):
I thought, you know what I'm gonna do linn with him.
So I sad and I did my concentration meditation, which
we need always to begin with, and I did some
tongue lin and that felt really nice. And about three
days later, he says to me, Hey, I need.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
To talk to you.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
I said, yeah, what's going on? He said, I am
feeling so close to you. What are you doing?

Speaker 2 (47:29):
I believe in energy, I believe in intention and me
that's what he was feeling right right, No judgment. He
was feeling love and compassion and acceptance instead of judgment
and anger. And I'm a big energy believer. So that
just touched my heart because I know it works.

Speaker 3 (47:52):
It does, and yeah, there's a whole realm of these
things that they're not quantifiable. Put them in a jar.
You know you can't touch them, but we know they're
real and so Mba has a lot of that.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
And with that story shared touched me is we I'll speak. I.
I used to be in fear and anxiety, especially about
loved ones. Oh my god, what if this? Oh my god,
what if that? You know, in my thirties, when I
was really struggling, and when I came to learn about

(48:30):
intention and energy, I realized, oh my goodness, they're going
to feel that, and why would I want to send
that energy to them? So as part of my yealing
in switching myself talk, every time I would feel myself
putting anxiety or worry energy towards someone I love, I

(48:51):
would immediately put my hand on my heart and flip
the script and send they are divinely supported, or I
talk my soul to their soul. They were going through
a difficult time, You are so loved. You are stronger
than you believe. It not only helped me transmute my
anxiety in my pattern of obsess and worrying about loved

(49:15):
ones back then it gave me in her peace. But
what I realized is that was my gift to them,
like your husband received that energetically without you having to
have that conversation. In all of that, it was just
pure love and intention. Is that how you process it too?

Speaker 3 (49:34):
Yeah, that's that's gorgeous, Linda. I love your example and
it's so beautiful and it really does have an impact.
It has an impact on us in lowering our anxiety
and helping us come back to center and to be
able to see, you know, what's real and what is
the next right thing to do, you know, and it

(49:55):
also helps the other person. And you know, it's a
gorgeous thing.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
It's really well, think about what your husband felt, right,
he felt your shift in your own consciousness in heart
space energy. It's like to me, that is like we
all have the power to do that right. And I
want to invite everyone be sure to grab a copy
of Mind Body Intelligence, a Guide to Nurturing Compassion inside out.

(50:25):
There are so many practices in here, and I love
that the workbook is at the end. Is there a
couple of the details you want to share about the
book and do you have a recommendation of how to
work through the book.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
Oh, that's a good question. Well, one thing, let me mention.
We have my body intelligence classes. They're online and the
benefit of that is that you can have these experiences
in person with some guidance and also with some community.

(51:05):
And so uh, that's a that's a lovely thing. And
and those those are available in an ongoing way.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (51:14):
And as I said, they're they're online, they're on zoom
and uh. Well and there I don't turn anybody away.
But you know, insurance will cover, most insurances will cover.
And uh and also there's a way to pay out
of pocket. But the point is that it's a resource
that's available for people who feel that, you know, it's

(51:38):
difficult to do something on their own. But the workbook
is is really helpful in terms of how to start
and uh, looking at the various practices and giving you
a chance to write down the things that you notice

(51:58):
kindly and how to begin working with your critical witness.
There's even basic chigun practices and also a list of
objects things that will support you, like cushions or backjacks,
and how you need to set up your meditation space

(52:22):
and all of that good stuff.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Thank you, Thank you so much. I want to invite
everyone to find out about those online classes the schedules.
Be sure to connect with her at Sage Healing Institute
dot com, join her email list, grab her offerings there,
stay connected because we can all use a little more

(52:47):
compassion for others as well as compassion for ourselves. And
Doctor Ellen, I'm so grateful for you joining me today.
I had so many AHAs personally as well as the
AHAs you shared that I know are touching our audience
right now. I'm so glad that I had a chance
to stop reading a copy of your book. It is powerful,

(53:10):
my friend. So thanks for being such a light in
the world, and thank you for joining me.

Speaker 3 (53:16):
Thank you so much for having me, Linda. It's a
really great pleasure to meet you and honor to be
invited to your show.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Well. Thank you, doctor Bellman, and until next time, my friends,
choose love, Choose joy, Choose happiness. Blessings everyone.

Speaker 1 (53:34):
Thanks for listening to inspired conversations with publisher Linda Joy.
Join our Sacred Space every Tuesday at two pm Eastern
and meet leading female visionaries, empowering authors, heart centered female entrepreneurs,
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(53:58):
with wisdom and lesson has learned on their personal journey
that led them to the transformational work they do in
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