February 27, 2025 • 42 mins
Andrew is a registered professional counsellor, a master practitioner in clinical counselling-supervisor, family mediator, instructor, and facilitator with over 10 years of experience supporting children, youth, adults, and seniors in their grief and loss journeys. Through his work with Canuck Place, Friends for Life, Moving Forward Family Services, and his private counselling ‘practice’ Andrew is highly skilled and knowledgeable in grief, loss, and bereavement, and he has garnered positive feedback that his empathic, caring, compassionate and sensitive approach has instilled hope and a new sense of purpose to those he has worked with. Andrew is inspired by anyone who has been able to find strength to overcome their personal challenges, and those who are interested and willing to support others. He finds the work of the Dalai Lama inspiring, specifically, his messages that emphasize focusing on others with affection, rather than with anger. Andrew is also intrigued by Thomas Merton’s thoughts on racism, social justice, love, and compassion. Andrew believes that learning is infinite, and he regularly participates in professional development opportunities so that he can impart informed knowledge to others, with the goal of contributing to their success. In his spare time, Andrew enjoys hiking, walking by the ocean, fixing, and riding vintage motorcycles, writing, reading, and painting. Andrew is well- travelled, spending over two years travelling the world in his youth and utilizing opportunities to support a variety of poverty-stricken communities.
Contact Andrew Bexson at andrew@surreyhospice.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/inspiring-stories--2917948/support.
Contact Andrew Bexson at andrew@surreyhospice.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/inspiring-stories--2917948/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Thank you for listening to the picture of the radiant.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Rat.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You readything to me?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Oh well, well.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Say, oh well.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I just see.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So canashion he is dead?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hey, welcome back everybody. Our next guest he Andrew Beckson
is a grief counselor a and we work together, kind
of work together at Sarria Hospice. And here's a little
(01:59):
bit about Andrew. Andrew is a registered professional counselor, a
Master Practitioner in Clinical Counseling, family mediator, instructor facilitator with
over ten years experience in supporting children, youth, adults, and
(02:21):
seniors in their grief and lost journeys through his work
with Place, Friends for Life, Moving Forward Family Services and
his private counseling practice. Andrew is a highly skilled and
(02:43):
knowledgeable in grief and bereavement. He has gathered positive feedback
that his empathetic, caring, compassionate and sensitive approach has installed,
installed hope and a new sense of purpose to those
(03:07):
who have worked with him. So we're actually going to
talk to him about his new and latest project, PET Bereavement.
So it's it is something that a lot of people
don't really think about, but it is a real thing.
(03:28):
And Andrew is going to tell us how his latest
project and how you can can join the very first
first group that he is starting around this particular project.
So why don't we welcome Andrew Beckson to the show.
(04:18):
Welcome to the show, Andrew. How did you come up
with the idea for a pet bereavement group.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
Well, I've always had a love of animals ever since
I've been a child, and that's continued throughout my life, childhood, adolescence, adulthood.
Whenever I see people where I go for walk who've
got an animal, whether it be a dog, typically, I
always always just feel this connection, you know, there's this
(04:48):
longing that that I want to connect in somewhere, and
it's hard to explain. It's it's just been around for many,
many years. At the same time, I've and I pups
used the word for fortunate to be around animals who've died,
and I need to explain what I mean by that.
It's a privilege to be there, you know, at that
(05:09):
those final moments, and I always hope that maybe my
presence might have some positive bearing on that transition, you know,
when they were that animal is about to pass. And
I've had all kinds of experiences. Many of them have
not been planned, they've been spontaneous. For example, oh god,
(05:30):
it must have been about five years ago. I remember
going for a walk and I saw a little garden
snake and I think it had been run over, and
you could tell the nerves were still moving. The animal
had basically come to the end of its life, but
there's still that movement in the body, you know, And
and I just leant down and just placed my palms
(05:52):
like this, as if focusing some energy. And it just
felt this intuitive need to do that, you know, just
to be part of that, and just didn't feel comfortable
seeing this animal that I guessed I don't know, but
I guessed a tire had got over. It's very small snake,
(06:12):
probably probably a couple of feet long, maybe less, so
it had been squashed. And yeah, it's easy to look
at that snake shriveled up carry on walking, but I didn't.
I just did that, and although very very sad, it
felt the right thing to do at the time. So
(06:32):
the things like this, I've had these experiences, many of
them spontaneous, but I think it leads to my interest
in pets and animals and in grief, not just with
people who've passed and bereavement, but also very much with
animals too.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
Well, I want to get back to the breathing in
the second, but I wouldn't want to get a basic
understanding and belief out of you. You believe that did
animals have living spirits inside of them? Right?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Yes? Sure, that's a that's the belief I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
But people are going to have all different viewpoints. I mean,
it's not just so with people. When when we pass
with an animal pasties or human being pasties, what happens next?
It's the big question, and there's many many viewpoints on that.
But using the term as spirit, it often is connected
(07:30):
with with with animals or people who pass, you know.
And but again there's very different viewpoints on on on
what happens next.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Well, as far as the spirit is concerned, we can
go into like lots of different researches and things things
like that. It would include anything that it did is
actually alive. But we're just going to stick with with
with with animals and human beings for for now. So,
(08:04):
but when when any be loved creature passes, we have bereavement.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Right, yes, yes, uh. And and that can be all
kinds of different experiences. And when we I hear the
way to breathe often think about emotional attachment too, because
that can have a huge influence on what that bereavement
looks like.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
For instance, like our next fur neighbors the their their
dog Walter. Walter was a wonderful dog, big, fair of
a looking dog with a gentle kind uh kind of being,
and and he passed. He passed on because of some
(08:52):
sort of tumor or something like that. Uh, But the
the memorialized him in their own way, had a celebration
of his life between with the family and everything. You know,
it's the same as you would any other loved one
(09:12):
in your family.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yes, yes, And and the pain of missing that animal
and all that person it can be the same. I
mean I never really make a distinction between animal and
people when it comes to that. Some people are incredibly
attached to their pets, and the thoughts of them leaving
is one that many don't really want to consider, but
(09:36):
that time will come and and the impact can be
very similar. So we get what did that attachment look like?
How much did you love being around that personal that animal,
and how you feel afterwards. You know, I knew some people.
It just shows how different it is for different people
(09:59):
lost a cat. We loved cat, very very sad, but
they came to the end. And I remember someone saying
to me, oh, so you're going to get another cat.
Then it's as if it's an item at a store
that I can just pick up and replace. You know,
this one didn't work like another. I thought, oh no,
you know, it was so painful the process, just what
(10:21):
happened next. Just missed this tiny little animal that would
run around the house and now it's no longer there.
You missed the little sounds, you know, around the home.
And it was two years before I got another one. Now,
compare that to some friends of mine who lost lost
a cat and the following week they got another. I
(10:42):
don't think that means that that person's insensitive, nothing like that.
They missed the company of an animal in the home
and wanted an animal to replace it. It made their grief
easier to bear by having a new little four legged
animal running around the home. But it just shows how
we can respond very differently. Some of us need that
period of time, others bring a new animal into their lives.
(11:05):
And again hopefully they find joy with that new animal
as well.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Yeah. Well it's like like, yeah, the cat may may
have played a different role in one house versus the other,
or held a different different value. None, it's not a
right or wrong situations. It's a different situation.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Right, mm hmm exactly.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Oh. So with that being said, because we because we
we we don't have a lot of time today. You
you you have started forming a bereavement group around this idea, right.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
That's right. We have a forthcoming pet loss group that
runs for six weeks. It's every Thursday night between six
and seven pm, and it allows, really what we've been
talking about, people who've lost an animal, are lost a
pet to join this group and what I'm hoping will
(12:13):
be a very safe platform for them to share as
much as they feel they want to share about what's
that been like for them and how they've coped, and
to talk about that animal if that will bring them
some peace, And that's what the group is really about.
There's no fixed a gender. I think I often go
(12:34):
by the energy of the group and that was to
some extent influence what we talk about. But safety is huge,
you know, when we're feeling very vulnerable, we were experiencing
all that grief. We want to be sure we can
be safe to share. And that's what I'm doing my
very best to create to create this group where people
can do that and have others who will be empathic
(12:57):
to what they've been through. So I'm really hoped and
this is going to be a really good experience for
everyone who joins.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Yeah, they use the word impact, and I'm going to
back it up to empathy. Empathy for the empathetic energy
with everybody in the group important.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Yeah, I think it is. People can be very preoccupied,
maybe even with the loss of a pet. That doesn't
mean they don't have empathy for others who've experienced a
loss as well. Everybody can be at different stages. Some
people it might be a recent loss, but even if
it's from one of my experience, sometimes it may be
(13:40):
years ago. Yet there's still that memory and there's still
maybe some pain attached to that memory. But it's important
that everybody has a chance to share. So if one
person was talking all of the time, I think that
could I imagine that would be difficult. So of course,
like any group setting, there's and boundaries. They're done respectfully,
(14:02):
just to make sure everybody has an equal opportunity to share.
And some may feel they have a lot of empathies.
Others may find it so difficult because of their own
challenges they're having with their lost pets. So it's an
open group. But again the emphasis is on sharing and
also hopefully all feel they can do so in a
(14:25):
safe environment.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
And of course the is a human right.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yes, yes, or at least an aid of that healing.
Some of it can be talking about suggestions that may help.
People may want to share things that have worked for
them which could be beneficial to other people who are
in the group, and I'll facilitate that, you know, and
may look at that, may put out what's helping you
or maybe what how do you feel about the loss?
(14:58):
And I may even ask, depending on on the energy
to see where people around you. Have you thought about
getting another pet? But that's a question that i'd ask
face sensitively because we don't want to negate the importance
of that animal in their lives. But sometimes people feel ready,
like I was ready, but for me personally it was
a couple of years. For someone else it was a week.
(15:20):
It doesn't mean, as I mentioned, earlier that changes anything.
We're all different, but it's interesting to ask sometimes because
that way we can we can get an idea of
how that how much time one needs before they excuse me,
before they possibly have another animal in their lives.
Speaker 6 (15:40):
There's very individualized, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Yes it is. Yes, it's individualized. But you're also come
into a group to share, and there's no emphasis that
you have to share. Maybe one week you feel you
want to and you do, and another week maybe just
the nature of the common tense because it can bring
a lot of tears, which are a form of release,
(16:04):
but can that sharing may look a little bit different
in another week, So there's no expectation there, but there's
that opportunity to share with like minded people who have
a love of animals.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah, well, let me ask you this too.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
Is is it possible that the the grief of a
pet could be an underlying thing or overshadowy thing of
of something else that could be going on.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
In their lives that they might need to talk about.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Could you give me an example?
Speaker 6 (16:41):
I wish it could, but but I know that sometimes
when you have some money in counseling, you you discover
that oh well, yeah, I used to do couples counseling
as an pastor, and you're talking to them as a
couple when you discover it is like, oh, well, wait
(17:03):
a second, you might want to go talk to somebody
else who's more qualified towards something something else. It would
happen a couple of times where I had to refer
to refer someone to larger professional than I could actually handle.
You know, yeah, wells, because you are that larger professional
(17:25):
person that I would refer to somebody to It be
something else there that they that they do need to
deal with, and it's holding them back from releasing the
grief of their of their pet.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Yes, and I think thank you Michael for elaboration. And
I think it's also been very respectful where someone's at
My job would never be to to to tell someone,
but I might ask a question, have you considered, for example,
might be a way of saying it, and ultimately it's
that individual's choice with a so, oh no, I haven't
(18:01):
thought of that. Maybe I'll look into that. That might
be a response. So maybe it could be helpful. But
I also would recognize, like all of us, the limits
of what I can offer. I think I am qualified
in certain areas, and there's other areas where I think, oh,
you know, this could be where another professional may be
a suitable individual for this person to work with. So
(18:24):
it all depends on what comes up, but I would
certainly probably say it like that. You know, have you
considered this, because I wonder, I'm very careful, I want
I don't know, so I wonder if this might be
useful to you, and then you kind of leave it
with that person, and maybe they do, maybe they don't
pursue that, but at least it's been put out there
(18:45):
as an option to maybe follow up.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
The ultimate thing is to promote the healing.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yes, yes, exactly, and and maybe some of that healing
can come from being in that group. I'd like to
think it could have a contribution. Not everybody likes to
do things in a group they'd rather than one on one.
So I imagine people will see how that goes, and
that might give them an idea of what further support
(19:17):
that's if they think that's necessary that they may want
to pursue.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Yeah, well, I did read to your list of blades
and things like that, and you're certified a certified counselor
and as a professional. You are too, I know you
are also offer one on one counselor too, right.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Yes, that's right. Yeah, and that's through the Hospice Society, sorry,
Hospice Society, so one on one there. I also have
a private practice as well, so I keep myself busy
with different aspects of in the in the counseling realm.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Yeah, for those of you, Lis, Andrew and I actually
met through this very hospice society. We both do work
for that for that society because they do wonderful work
for our community. Without then there were big, big holes,
like Andrew wouldn't be able maybe to reach some of
(20:19):
the people who need a bereavement help in our community
if it wasn't for Surry Hospice.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Right. So they're they're a great great go to They're
they're they're there want to help and and it's it's
if people feel the need and they think that could
benefit them them, really encourage them to reach out to
the to the hospice and they can receive one to
one counseling.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
And as you know, Michael, they offer lots and lots
of groups, so they're very much into groups. A pet
lost group of course, what we're talking about today. There's
another of one I did one last summer. In fact,
it was Nature's Amble and it was going to Bear
Creek Park and sturry and walking with other people who've
(21:06):
experiencing bereavement. But it's kind of like walk and talk
in a beautiful setting and we'd meet for an hour
and it was very informal that allow people to come together,
but also as I say, physical exercise in a in
a very pleasant setting. So that's another example of another
group that the hospice have available.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yeah, one of the things that I truly respect out
of you as an individual counselor is your willingness to
step outside of the box or the office and look
at something creative that it helps.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
Yeah, it's it's nice to me, you know, it's it's
it's an enjoyable thing to do for me. And as
you say, step outside the office, it's it's nice, it's fresh,
it's it's a lovely feeling. And and why do we
have to be inside this building the whole time? We
don't have to. So it's just a willingness to do it.
And I know a lot of other people do similar
(22:09):
things and it can be very beneficial, but really beneficial
to the people who have an interest in them as well.
So the Bear Creek example, and there's there's other groups
as well, but yeah, wonderful. You know, what is it
about walking and talking, It's it's quite different to sitting
and talking. Interesting distinction between the two. Both can be beneficial,
(22:32):
but different experiences can come from each.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
I like that because because it's a willingness to respect
each individual's needs rather than there's sterile it's got to
be one way sort of.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Yeah, absolutely, it doesn't have to be that way, and
so at least if anyone is open to just doing
something a bit different, it can also be beneficial. But
if someone has wants the one on one and they
and the confidentiality, of course, we must never lose sight
(23:11):
of confidentiality. That can be a great help. Being inside
a room the door closed and it's it's it's safe,
it's secure. That's where there can be a great benefit
to one on one. So it also depends on what
are you looking for, you know, is it very confidential
this discussion, which it would be of course, there's always
exceptions to confidentiality, or is it more I just want
(23:33):
to be around others and talk and and and move
my body. Well that that that looks a little bit different.
That can take us outside into a setting that could
be really conducive to the person who's attending.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Well, I know one for me personally, if there's something
about my safety there seems to open up more when
in an natural setting the city, inside of a building,
or in an office or something. I am a very
(24:09):
much advocate of counseling in general. The counselors that I
have gone to, I actually asked them at some point,
do you have a home office where we could like
meet as your in like a living room kind of
a setting, because I felt I feel more comfortable that way. So,
(24:34):
and everybody has their own comforts, and how do you
accommodate for for those comforts as a counselor.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
It's it's not a question that I've been asked before. So,
for example, the at the Sorry Hospice Society, we we
do have a room and we try and make it
as presentable and as comfortable and a kind of warm
field to it, and we hope that people would feel
at home there. But it's interesting because when you think
(25:07):
about the colors of the walls and how tidy your
room is. There's certain things that people may be uncomfortable with,
so you know, we're very mindful of that. And in
my private practice the same thing.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
I have a room.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
It's got some nice colors in there. It makes me
think of aroma therapy. You know, we want to create
this lovely space. We don't know if it's going to
work for people, but I often ask for people's feedback.
You know, I don't mind. I don't and when if
if we ask for someone's feedback, we need to be
prepared that we may hear some things that are contradictory
(25:43):
what we're doing, so we must be prepared for that
if we're going to ask. And I have done that
much of the time. It's been great. It's been nice
because well, I really don't like that light there, for example,
or the way you've got this here, and if it's
something I feel I can quite easily remove or change,
and of course I'll do that because I want that
(26:04):
client to be comfortable within reason. You know, they was
saying I don't like the chair. That's certainly so far
I can go, but I'd certainly do everything I could
to accommodate that person and So yeah, when I asked
that question, I am prepared to hear something that might
mean I need to make a change, and it could
be very helpful to me. It could be something that
(26:26):
others may be feeling that I haven't felt confident enough
or safe enough to share. So I have a lot
of gratitude when I get that feedback. Whatever it is,
it's it's it's helping me in some way. So I'm
always very open to that.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Yeah, your your gratitude shows in a lot of things
that you actually do. H and and how and how
you you appear at advice and everything when we meet up.
You know, it shows that you would form of gratitude
and you're full of this wonderful spirit.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
So that's nice to you to say thank you.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
Yeah, and I appreciate that out of you. So you
you came in the counselor because because of a compassion
for people mm hm. And how does that actually aid
(27:27):
you in your process when you're facilitating like the tech.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Group or one on one counselor how does it aid me.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
That compassion?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Yeah, I I that there's a lot I find there's
a how can I put it? There's a an energy
that comes from people who I'm around, and that that
often has a very positive impact on me. Uh, talking
about different topics that are of not necessarily to do
(28:00):
with counseling, just what people were going through and listening
and showing that support. And that's very much what attracts
me to counseling. I wasn't always doing counseling. I used
to be a clinical hypnotherapist. I still do clinical hypnotherapy
every now and then, but it just reminds me of
whatever kind of therapy you do. Often you've got this
(28:23):
one on one relationship quite often. Sometimes it might be
family counseling, it might be couples counseling. But you've always
got the energy that you bring and the energy that
you're receiving from those you work with. And so I
feel very invigorated by that. I find it very very
positive thing and I enjoy it, and I can use
(28:45):
that energy in all kinds of areas. So, yes, as
you mentioned the facilitation or most recently had the Surry
Hospice conference, and I was one of the presenters there,
and that's another another part of me that I enjoy doing,
is to presenting and talking about a certain topic and
(29:07):
interesting because I brought up the word energy and it
came from somewhere I think it was meant to come through.
And I think back to that most recent presentation, and
I have my notes, and I'm talking about questions, the
importance of asking questions, you know, of loved ones before
(29:29):
they pass, for example, that was one part of the
speech I was doing. And I had all my notes,
and I thought, well, you're going to draw upon your notes.
You've got the PowerPoint slide up here, and I got
my notes that coincide with the headings on the PowerPoint.
And what I found so interesting is I hardly looked
at the notes, but what I did look at was
(29:52):
the people in front of me, and there was something
I was picking up, maybe on a subconscious level, that
was telling me to say certain things. So I was
reading the end reading the room, I guess you could say.
And so maybe that's why I because I intended to
look at the notes, but I hardly did it at all.
But it floated as well as I would hope it would.
But I was very much paying attention to whatever was
(30:16):
going on in the room and the energy there. And
that's what I why I use the word energy.
Speaker 6 (30:21):
You know.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
It's it's we can get so much if we pay
attention to something. Just pay attention to the room or
whatever we're picking up, and let that guide us. Let
that see, let's see where that takes us, because sometimes
we can it can be very very positive. So I'm
not sure answer your question, Michael, but it might be
a roundabout way of answering.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
I think you did agent your question. Do you minded
we play play a clip from from your cop at
the carperence at this point?
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Yes, yes, please go ahead.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Yeah, let's do that. Here's a short clip from this
Rough Hospice conference. It was in January the twenty twenty five,
with Andrew giving him his talk on bereavement and and impassion.
So we'll be back in a few minutes.
Speaker 9 (31:18):
We should all still at a confidence to talk about death,
to ask questions, to listen and be sure of what.
Speaker 8 (31:28):
We had our lockcoms were like to happen when that
time comes. Sounds really really good. And I think with this.
Speaker 9 (31:37):
Then there's even an assumption about conversation or conversations became
smooth that means to do and so on, And I
think we all know that be so so difficult, So.
Speaker 8 (31:49):
Often considered a type conversation.
Speaker 9 (31:53):
I'd say the previous like, but this is about to
conversations and it's about.
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Death and life, so it could be upsetting any of us. Again,
it doesn't have to be that way. It's all about fool.
Speaker 9 (32:12):
So if it's my agenda, believe in the next forty
five minutes gives you an idea.
Speaker 8 (32:16):
Of what to expect, what I'm going to recover. Why
do many of us find.
Speaker 9 (32:22):
It difficult to talk about it? How do we have
in that conversation and talking persis avoiding.
Speaker 8 (32:36):
That's going to take.
Speaker 9 (32:37):
But the time to look at that one, because which
one do you think is the easier one?
Speaker 8 (32:43):
I know for me definitely been to avoid. If I
had a choice, if I didn't have to go there,
absolutely just put it aside.
Speaker 9 (32:51):
But again, that's what we're going to get into you today,
So it's a smart with it. Let's talk about the
tough conversation. Why many of us find, of course talk
about death. Well, we don't be one of those most
difficult conversations we could ever have, especially with our loved ones.
We may feel fearful, we may feel scared about this subject.
(33:17):
In fact, in society that's really fuls. Society has wine.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
This is really difficult. We don't talk about this subject.
Speaker 6 (33:25):
We do that.
Speaker 9 (33:26):
So we've got society helping that along this disinterest of
talking about death. And it's not until something really big happens,
you know, something significant, something chucking hans that we may
then internalize and reflect on death and dying. What does
(33:51):
some examples eternal medical diagnosis, maybe a loved one, tragic
news about what's happening to them.
Speaker 8 (34:03):
I could do it.
Speaker 9 (34:06):
And just that reminder that all of us are getting
older and that's getting.
Speaker 8 (34:11):
A little bit closer, and so she is gone by
m So we.
Speaker 9 (34:16):
Can feel pressure, even anxiety about talking about death and
dying because.
Speaker 8 (34:21):
We're putting this position of no choice. Heard all the
time when I lived in the UK.
Speaker 9 (34:30):
Face the music is anyone from a bit of fatter
face the music. A lot of people don't want to
face the.
Speaker 8 (34:36):
Music and embrace or try the prospect of having that conversation.
I always look back.
Speaker 9 (34:52):
At the screen, not just to check and it coincides
with my Google tablet in, but just to check it's
not some crazy picture I got in there without my modergy.
I reassurance. It's a lot of in there, but you
never known me. That's not saying that. It's this crazy picture.
Speaker 8 (35:08):
Jeez, that's not good.
Speaker 9 (35:12):
So I'm going to get into talking about my mortality.
And Rebecca mentioned a little bit as well earlier on.
Speaker 8 (35:19):
They's advice will love here.
Speaker 9 (35:22):
So the love talking about and dying off is exceptional
mortality that we are loved ones will eventually face there.
Speaker 6 (35:33):
H So, so yeah, that that was there was a
brilliant talk that you actually gave that day. Thanks a
lot of a lot of a lot of people, and
and one personally, it was was really moved that that
(35:56):
they did leave the room because they had the the
ERNs the experience of it.
Speaker 5 (36:04):
Yes, it I later learned that what I was talking about,
it was talking about talking, as I mentioned earlier, trying
to what if we are strange from someone and they're
getting older, and then all of us can feel so
pressure and I need to talk about what will happen
if it gets getting closer and we could all feel
(36:26):
that pressure of a conversation we may need to have
with someone who's maybe close to the end of their life.
And it's not often we don't often talk about that,
and that's what I was addressing and got into some
depth of that topic, and as you said, Michael, one
(36:46):
person seemed very upset and left the room. And of
course I'm continuing to talk, but I must admit, at
the back of my mind I was thinking, oh, geez,
did I go too far? You know, we can sometimes
question ourselves. I don't think I did anything wrong, nothing
like that. I'm talking about a very incredibly sensitive subject
(37:07):
that I know for my own experience, I don't often
I can't think but of really ever hearing people talk
about this, not not not in a confidence like this.
So yes, it was on my mind. And what was
so beautiful was when that was over, the person came
up to me and wanted to hug me for Oh
you know, that was very That was very touching, and
(37:28):
it really touched them and they just wanted to thank me.
So that was beautiful and I'm so pleased it had
such a positive impact on them. It was it was
very meaningful to them. So that that was That was
a really beautiful outcome.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Yeah, So back to the the pet Bury But for
somebody to sign up and try and try to get
secure the respect in the group.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
Yes, so wow, time's going quickly. Because the first the
first one, we got six weeks. The first one is
this Thursday, February twenty seven. If anybody is interested, can
you please email me Andrew at Surreyhospits dot com. I
(38:20):
would say, really, the cutoff is going to be say
three This is what I've said before, so I want
to be consistent three pm tomorrow, so it's very little time.
It is important if you're interested, that you can attend
for six consecutive weeks, so every Thursday between six and
seven pm. It's also very important that you stay for
(38:40):
the four duration each time you come so short notice. However,
if it doesn't work for you on this occasion, please
get in touch anyway, because we'll run the group again
and depending upon how much interest there is, that will
probably determine how often and when we next won the group.
So if you miss out on this this this one
(39:03):
coming up, hopefully there'll be enough one soon and you
can join that one.
Speaker 6 (39:08):
So I will put your email address in the in
the show notes so that people can get in touch
with you.
Speaker 5 (39:17):
So that's wonderful.
Speaker 6 (39:18):
Thank you, Andrew, thank you for your time today. It's
been wonderful. Again. I always always enjoy speaking with you.
You're such a kind person.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
So yeah, well, thank you and thank you Michael for
this opportunity to share. It's been it's been great, so
many thanks to you.
Speaker 6 (39:38):
Yeah, so everybody check out the show notes if you
want to join the group, especially if you are in Surrey,
BC or in the Greater Vancouver area of British Columbia.
So checking out and email Andrew as quickly as possible.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
Thanks very much, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Opposed to.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
The sad sound you, I don't know so I would
(40:30):
from action, so wave.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
S this, he says, I reason to Shucho in last
(40:59):
show we can't wait, so can't see.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
She can't to.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
St stop.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Stop.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I know.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
The show has been produced by Depictions Media. Please contact
us at depictions dot media for more information.
Thank you for listening to the picture of the radiant.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Rat.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
You readything to me?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Oh well, well.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Say, oh well.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Not bad.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I just see.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So canashion he is dead?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Hey, welcome back everybody. Our next guest he Andrew Beckson
is a grief counselor a and we work together, kind
of work together at Sarria Hospice. And here's a little
(01:59):
bit about Andrew. Andrew is a registered professional counselor, a
Master Practitioner in Clinical Counseling, family mediator, instructor facilitator with
over ten years experience in supporting children, youth, adults, and
(02:21):
seniors in their grief and lost journeys through his work
with Place, Friends for Life, Moving Forward Family Services and
his private counseling practice. Andrew is a highly skilled and
(02:43):
knowledgeable in grief and bereavement. He has gathered positive feedback
that his empathetic, caring, compassionate and sensitive approach has installed,
installed hope and a new sense of purpose to those
(03:07):
who have worked with him. So we're actually going to
talk to him about his new and latest project, PET Bereavement.
So it's it is something that a lot of people
don't really think about, but it is a real thing.
(03:28):
And Andrew is going to tell us how his latest
project and how you can can join the very first
first group that he is starting around this particular project.
So why don't we welcome Andrew Beckson to the show.
(04:18):
Welcome to the show, Andrew. How did you come up
with the idea for a pet bereavement group.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
Well, I've always had a love of animals ever since
I've been a child, and that's continued throughout my life, childhood, adolescence, adulthood.
Whenever I see people where I go for walk who've
got an animal, whether it be a dog, typically, I
always always just feel this connection, you know, there's this
(04:48):
longing that that I want to connect in somewhere, and
it's hard to explain. It's it's just been around for many,
many years. At the same time, I've and I pups
used the word for fortunate to be around animals who've died,
and I need to explain what I mean by that.
It's a privilege to be there, you know, at that
(05:09):
those final moments, and I always hope that maybe my
presence might have some positive bearing on that transition, you know,
when they were that animal is about to pass. And
I've had all kinds of experiences. Many of them have
not been planned, they've been spontaneous. For example, oh god,
(05:30):
it must have been about five years ago. I remember
going for a walk and I saw a little garden
snake and I think it had been run over, and
you could tell the nerves were still moving. The animal
had basically come to the end of its life, but
there's still that movement in the body, you know, And
and I just leant down and just placed my palms
(05:52):
like this, as if focusing some energy. And it just
felt this intuitive need to do that, you know, just
to be part of that, and just didn't feel comfortable
seeing this animal that I guessed I don't know, but
I guessed a tire had got over. It's very small snake,
(06:12):
probably probably a couple of feet long, maybe less, so
it had been squashed. And yeah, it's easy to look
at that snake shriveled up carry on walking, but I didn't.
I just did that, and although very very sad, it
felt the right thing to do at the time. So
(06:32):
the things like this, I've had these experiences, many of
them spontaneous, but I think it leads to my interest
in pets and animals and in grief, not just with
people who've passed and bereavement, but also very much with
animals too.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
Well, I want to get back to the breathing in
the second, but I wouldn't want to get a basic
understanding and belief out of you. You believe that did
animals have living spirits inside of them? Right?
Speaker 5 (07:06):
Yes? Sure, that's a that's the belief I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
But people are going to have all different viewpoints. I mean,
it's not just so with people. When when we pass
with an animal pasties or human being pasties, what happens next?
It's the big question, and there's many many viewpoints on that.
But using the term as spirit, it often is connected
(07:30):
with with with animals or people who pass, you know.
And but again there's very different viewpoints on on on
what happens next.
Speaker 6 (07:40):
Well, as far as the spirit is concerned, we can
go into like lots of different researches and things things
like that. It would include anything that it did is
actually alive. But we're just going to stick with with
with with animals and human beings for for now. So,
(08:04):
but when when any be loved creature passes, we have bereavement.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Right, yes, yes, uh. And and that can be all
kinds of different experiences. And when we I hear the
way to breathe often think about emotional attachment too, because
that can have a huge influence on what that bereavement
looks like.
Speaker 6 (08:29):
For instance, like our next fur neighbors the their their
dog Walter. Walter was a wonderful dog, big, fair of
a looking dog with a gentle kind uh kind of being,
and and he passed. He passed on because of some
(08:52):
sort of tumor or something like that. Uh, But the
the memorialized him in their own way, had a celebration
of his life between with the family and everything. You know,
it's the same as you would any other loved one
(09:12):
in your family.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Yes, yes, And and the pain of missing that animal
and all that person it can be the same. I
mean I never really make a distinction between animal and
people when it comes to that. Some people are incredibly
attached to their pets, and the thoughts of them leaving
is one that many don't really want to consider, but
(09:36):
that time will come and and the impact can be
very similar. So we get what did that attachment look like?
How much did you love being around that personal that animal,
and how you feel afterwards. You know, I knew some people.
It just shows how different it is for different people
(09:59):
lost a cat. We loved cat, very very sad, but
they came to the end. And I remember someone saying
to me, oh, so you're going to get another cat.
Then it's as if it's an item at a store
that I can just pick up and replace. You know,
this one didn't work like another. I thought, oh no,
you know, it was so painful the process, just what
(10:21):
happened next. Just missed this tiny little animal that would
run around the house and now it's no longer there.
You missed the little sounds, you know, around the home.
And it was two years before I got another one. Now,
compare that to some friends of mine who lost lost
a cat and the following week they got another. I
(10:42):
don't think that means that that person's insensitive, nothing like that.
They missed the company of an animal in the home
and wanted an animal to replace it. It made their grief
easier to bear by having a new little four legged
animal running around the home. But it just shows how
we can respond very differently. Some of us need that
period of time, others bring a new animal into their lives.
(11:05):
And again hopefully they find joy with that new animal
as well.
Speaker 6 (11:10):
Yeah. Well it's like like, yeah, the cat may may
have played a different role in one house versus the other,
or held a different different value. None, it's not a
right or wrong situations. It's a different situation.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Right, mm hmm exactly.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Oh. So with that being said, because we because we
we we don't have a lot of time today. You
you you have started forming a bereavement group around this idea, right.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
That's right. We have a forthcoming pet loss group that
runs for six weeks. It's every Thursday night between six
and seven pm, and it allows, really what we've been
talking about, people who've lost an animal, are lost a
pet to join this group and what I'm hoping will
(12:13):
be a very safe platform for them to share as
much as they feel they want to share about what's
that been like for them and how they've coped, and
to talk about that animal if that will bring them
some peace, And that's what the group is really about.
There's no fixed a gender. I think I often go
(12:34):
by the energy of the group and that was to
some extent influence what we talk about. But safety is huge,
you know, when we're feeling very vulnerable, we were experiencing
all that grief. We want to be sure we can
be safe to share. And that's what I'm doing my
very best to create to create this group where people
can do that and have others who will be empathic
(12:57):
to what they've been through. So I'm really hoped and
this is going to be a really good experience for
everyone who joins.
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Yeah, they use the word impact, and I'm going to
back it up to empathy. Empathy for the empathetic energy
with everybody in the group important.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Yeah, I think it is. People can be very preoccupied,
maybe even with the loss of a pet. That doesn't
mean they don't have empathy for others who've experienced a
loss as well. Everybody can be at different stages. Some
people it might be a recent loss, but even if
it's from one of my experience, sometimes it may be
(13:40):
years ago. Yet there's still that memory and there's still
maybe some pain attached to that memory. But it's important
that everybody has a chance to share. So if one
person was talking all of the time, I think that
could I imagine that would be difficult. So of course,
like any group setting, there's and boundaries. They're done respectfully,
(14:02):
just to make sure everybody has an equal opportunity to share.
And some may feel they have a lot of empathies.
Others may find it so difficult because of their own
challenges they're having with their lost pets. So it's an
open group. But again the emphasis is on sharing and
also hopefully all feel they can do so in a
(14:25):
safe environment.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
And of course the is a human right.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yes, yes, or at least an aid of that healing.
Some of it can be talking about suggestions that may help.
People may want to share things that have worked for
them which could be beneficial to other people who are
in the group, and I'll facilitate that, you know, and
may look at that, may put out what's helping you
or maybe what how do you feel about the loss?
(14:58):
And I may even ask, depending on on the energy
to see where people around you. Have you thought about
getting another pet? But that's a question that i'd ask
face sensitively because we don't want to negate the importance
of that animal in their lives. But sometimes people feel ready,
like I was ready, but for me personally it was
a couple of years. For someone else it was a week.
(15:20):
It doesn't mean, as I mentioned, earlier that changes anything.
We're all different, but it's interesting to ask sometimes because
that way we can we can get an idea of
how that how much time one needs before they excuse me,
before they possibly have another animal in their lives.
Speaker 6 (15:40):
There's very individualized, isn't it.
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Yes it is. Yes, it's individualized. But you're also come
into a group to share, and there's no emphasis that
you have to share. Maybe one week you feel you
want to and you do, and another week maybe just
the nature of the common tense because it can bring
a lot of tears, which are a form of release,
(16:04):
but can that sharing may look a little bit different
in another week, So there's no expectation there, but there's
that opportunity to share with like minded people who have
a love of animals.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
Yeah, well, let me ask you this too.
Speaker 7 (16:22):
Is is it possible that the the grief of a
pet could be an underlying thing or overshadowy thing of
of something else that could be going on.
Speaker 6 (16:36):
In their lives that they might need to talk about.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Could you give me an example?
Speaker 6 (16:41):
I wish it could, but but I know that sometimes
when you have some money in counseling, you you discover
that oh well, yeah, I used to do couples counseling
as an pastor, and you're talking to them as a
couple when you discover it is like, oh, well, wait
(17:03):
a second, you might want to go talk to somebody
else who's more qualified towards something something else. It would
happen a couple of times where I had to refer
to refer someone to larger professional than I could actually handle.
You know, yeah, wells, because you are that larger professional
(17:25):
person that I would refer to somebody to It be
something else there that they that they do need to
deal with, and it's holding them back from releasing the
grief of their of their pet.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Yes, and I think thank you Michael for elaboration. And
I think it's also been very respectful where someone's at
My job would never be to to to tell someone,
but I might ask a question, have you considered, for example,
might be a way of saying it, and ultimately it's
that individual's choice with a so, oh no, I haven't
(18:01):
thought of that. Maybe I'll look into that. That might
be a response. So maybe it could be helpful. But
I also would recognize, like all of us, the limits
of what I can offer. I think I am qualified
in certain areas, and there's other areas where I think, oh,
you know, this could be where another professional may be
a suitable individual for this person to work with. So
(18:24):
it all depends on what comes up, but I would
certainly probably say it like that. You know, have you
considered this, because I wonder, I'm very careful, I want
I don't know, so I wonder if this might be
useful to you, and then you kind of leave it
with that person, and maybe they do, maybe they don't
pursue that, but at least it's been put out there
(18:45):
as an option to maybe follow up.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
The ultimate thing is to promote the healing.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Yes, yes, exactly, and and maybe some of that healing
can come from being in that group. I'd like to
think it could have a contribution. Not everybody likes to
do things in a group they'd rather than one on one.
So I imagine people will see how that goes, and
that might give them an idea of what further support
(19:17):
that's if they think that's necessary that they may want
to pursue.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
Yeah, well, I did read to your list of blades
and things like that, and you're certified a certified counselor
and as a professional. You are too, I know you
are also offer one on one counselor too, right.
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Yes, that's right. Yeah, and that's through the Hospice Society, sorry,
Hospice Society, so one on one there. I also have
a private practice as well, so I keep myself busy
with different aspects of in the in the counseling realm.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
Yeah, for those of you, Lis, Andrew and I actually
met through this very hospice society. We both do work
for that for that society because they do wonderful work
for our community. Without then there were big, big holes,
like Andrew wouldn't be able maybe to reach some of
(20:19):
the people who need a bereavement help in our community
if it wasn't for Surry Hospice.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Right. So they're they're a great great go to They're
they're they're there want to help and and it's it's
if people feel the need and they think that could
benefit them them, really encourage them to reach out to
the to the hospice and they can receive one to
one counseling.
Speaker 6 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
And as you know, Michael, they offer lots and lots
of groups, so they're very much into groups. A pet
lost group of course, what we're talking about today. There's
another of one I did one last summer. In fact,
it was Nature's Amble and it was going to Bear
Creek Park and sturry and walking with other people who've
(21:06):
experiencing bereavement. But it's kind of like walk and talk
in a beautiful setting and we'd meet for an hour
and it was very informal that allow people to come together,
but also as I say, physical exercise in a in
a very pleasant setting. So that's another example of another
group that the hospice have available.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yeah, one of the things that I truly respect out
of you as an individual counselor is your willingness to
step outside of the box or the office and look
at something creative that it helps.
Speaker 5 (21:47):
Yeah, it's it's nice to me, you know, it's it's
it's an enjoyable thing to do for me. And as
you say, step outside the office, it's it's nice, it's fresh,
it's it's a lovely feeling. And and why do we
have to be inside this building the whole time? We
don't have to. So it's just a willingness to do it.
And I know a lot of other people do similar
(22:09):
things and it can be very beneficial, but really beneficial
to the people who have an interest in them as well.
So the Bear Creek example, and there's there's other groups
as well, but yeah, wonderful. You know, what is it
about walking and talking, It's it's quite different to sitting
and talking. Interesting distinction between the two. Both can be beneficial,
(22:32):
but different experiences can come from each.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
I like that because because it's a willingness to respect
each individual's needs rather than there's sterile it's got to
be one way sort of.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Yeah, absolutely, it doesn't have to be that way, and
so at least if anyone is open to just doing
something a bit different, it can also be beneficial. But
if someone has wants the one on one and they
and the confidentiality, of course, we must never lose sight
(23:11):
of confidentiality. That can be a great help. Being inside
a room the door closed and it's it's it's safe,
it's secure. That's where there can be a great benefit
to one on one. So it also depends on what
are you looking for, you know, is it very confidential
this discussion, which it would be of course, there's always
exceptions to confidentiality, or is it more I just want
(23:33):
to be around others and talk and and and move
my body. Well that that that looks a little bit different.
That can take us outside into a setting that could
be really conducive to the person who's attending.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Well, I know one for me personally, if there's something
about my safety there seems to open up more when
in an natural setting the city, inside of a building,
or in an office or something. I am a very
(24:09):
much advocate of counseling in general. The counselors that I
have gone to, I actually asked them at some point,
do you have a home office where we could like
meet as your in like a living room kind of
a setting, because I felt I feel more comfortable that way. So,
(24:34):
and everybody has their own comforts, and how do you
accommodate for for those comforts as a counselor.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
It's it's not a question that I've been asked before. So,
for example, the at the Sorry Hospice Society, we we
do have a room and we try and make it
as presentable and as comfortable and a kind of warm
field to it, and we hope that people would feel
at home there. But it's interesting because when you think
(25:07):
about the colors of the walls and how tidy your
room is. There's certain things that people may be uncomfortable with,
so you know, we're very mindful of that. And in
my private practice the same thing.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
I have a room.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
It's got some nice colors in there. It makes me
think of aroma therapy. You know, we want to create
this lovely space. We don't know if it's going to
work for people, but I often ask for people's feedback.
You know, I don't mind. I don't and when if
if we ask for someone's feedback, we need to be
prepared that we may hear some things that are contradictory
(25:43):
what we're doing, so we must be prepared for that
if we're going to ask. And I have done that
much of the time. It's been great. It's been nice
because well, I really don't like that light there, for example,
or the way you've got this here, and if it's
something I feel I can quite easily remove or change,
and of course I'll do that because I want that
(26:04):
client to be comfortable within reason. You know, they was
saying I don't like the chair. That's certainly so far
I can go, but I'd certainly do everything I could
to accommodate that person and So yeah, when I asked
that question, I am prepared to hear something that might
mean I need to make a change, and it could
be very helpful to me. It could be something that
(26:26):
others may be feeling that I haven't felt confident enough
or safe enough to share. So I have a lot
of gratitude when I get that feedback. Whatever it is,
it's it's it's helping me in some way. So I'm
always very open to that.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Yeah, your your gratitude shows in a lot of things
that you actually do. H and and how and how
you you appear at advice and everything when we meet up.
You know, it shows that you would form of gratitude
and you're full of this wonderful spirit.
Speaker 5 (27:03):
So that's nice to you to say thank you.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
Yeah, and I appreciate that out of you. So you
you came in the counselor because because of a compassion
for people mm hm. And how does that actually aid
(27:27):
you in your process when you're facilitating like the tech.
Speaker 5 (27:30):
Group or one on one counselor how does it aid me.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
That compassion?
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Yeah, I I that there's a lot I find there's
a how can I put it? There's a an energy
that comes from people who I'm around, and that that
often has a very positive impact on me. Uh, talking
about different topics that are of not necessarily to do
(28:00):
with counseling, just what people were going through and listening
and showing that support. And that's very much what attracts
me to counseling. I wasn't always doing counseling. I used
to be a clinical hypnotherapist. I still do clinical hypnotherapy
every now and then, but it just reminds me of
whatever kind of therapy you do. Often you've got this
(28:23):
one on one relationship quite often. Sometimes it might be
family counseling, it might be couples counseling. But you've always
got the energy that you bring and the energy that
you're receiving from those you work with. And so I
feel very invigorated by that. I find it very very
positive thing and I enjoy it, and I can use
(28:45):
that energy in all kinds of areas. So, yes, as
you mentioned the facilitation or most recently had the Surry
Hospice conference, and I was one of the presenters there,
and that's another another part of me that I enjoy doing,
is to presenting and talking about a certain topic and
(29:07):
interesting because I brought up the word energy and it
came from somewhere I think it was meant to come through.
And I think back to that most recent presentation, and
I have my notes, and I'm talking about questions, the
importance of asking questions, you know, of loved ones before
(29:29):
they pass, for example, that was one part of the
speech I was doing. And I had all my notes,
and I thought, well, you're going to draw upon your notes.
You've got the PowerPoint slide up here, and I got
my notes that coincide with the headings on the PowerPoint.
And what I found so interesting is I hardly looked
at the notes, but what I did look at was
(29:52):
the people in front of me, and there was something
I was picking up, maybe on a subconscious level, that
was telling me to say certain things. So I was
reading the end reading the room, I guess you could say.
And so maybe that's why I because I intended to
look at the notes, but I hardly did it at all.
But it floated as well as I would hope it would.
But I was very much paying attention to whatever was
(30:16):
going on in the room and the energy there. And
that's what I why I use the word energy.
Speaker 6 (30:21):
You know.
Speaker 5 (30:21):
It's it's we can get so much if we pay
attention to something. Just pay attention to the room or
whatever we're picking up, and let that guide us. Let
that see, let's see where that takes us, because sometimes
we can it can be very very positive. So I'm
not sure answer your question, Michael, but it might be
a roundabout way of answering.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
I think you did agent your question. Do you minded
we play play a clip from from your cop at
the carperence at this point?
Speaker 5 (30:51):
Yes, yes, please go ahead.
Speaker 6 (30:54):
Yeah, let's do that. Here's a short clip from this
Rough Hospice conference. It was in January the twenty twenty five,
with Andrew giving him his talk on bereavement and and impassion.
So we'll be back in a few minutes.
Speaker 9 (31:18):
We should all still at a confidence to talk about death,
to ask questions, to listen and be sure of what.
Speaker 8 (31:28):
We had our lockcoms were like to happen when that
time comes. Sounds really really good. And I think with this.
Speaker 9 (31:37):
Then there's even an assumption about conversation or conversations became
smooth that means to do and so on, And I
think we all know that be so so difficult, So.
Speaker 8 (31:49):
Often considered a type conversation.
Speaker 9 (31:53):
I'd say the previous like, but this is about to
conversations and it's about.
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Death and life, so it could be upsetting any of us. Again,
it doesn't have to be that way. It's all about fool.
Speaker 9 (32:12):
So if it's my agenda, believe in the next forty
five minutes gives you an idea.
Speaker 8 (32:16):
Of what to expect, what I'm going to recover. Why
do many of us find.
Speaker 9 (32:22):
It difficult to talk about it? How do we have
in that conversation and talking persis avoiding.
Speaker 8 (32:36):
That's going to take.
Speaker 9 (32:37):
But the time to look at that one, because which
one do you think is the easier one?
Speaker 8 (32:43):
I know for me definitely been to avoid. If I
had a choice, if I didn't have to go there,
absolutely just put it aside.
Speaker 9 (32:51):
But again, that's what we're going to get into you today,
So it's a smart with it. Let's talk about the
tough conversation. Why many of us find, of course talk
about death. Well, we don't be one of those most
difficult conversations we could ever have, especially with our loved ones.
We may feel fearful, we may feel scared about this subject.
(33:17):
In fact, in society that's really fuls. Society has wine.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
This is really difficult. We don't talk about this subject.
Speaker 6 (33:25):
We do that.
Speaker 9 (33:26):
So we've got society helping that along this disinterest of
talking about death. And it's not until something really big happens,
you know, something significant, something chucking hans that we may
then internalize and reflect on death and dying. What does
(33:51):
some examples eternal medical diagnosis, maybe a loved one, tragic
news about what's happening to them.
Speaker 8 (34:03):
I could do it.
Speaker 9 (34:06):
And just that reminder that all of us are getting
older and that's getting.
Speaker 8 (34:11):
A little bit closer, and so she is gone by
m So we.
Speaker 9 (34:16):
Can feel pressure, even anxiety about talking about death and
dying because.
Speaker 8 (34:21):
We're putting this position of no choice. Heard all the
time when I lived in the UK.
Speaker 9 (34:30):
Face the music is anyone from a bit of fatter
face the music. A lot of people don't want to
face the.
Speaker 8 (34:36):
Music and embrace or try the prospect of having that conversation.
I always look back.
Speaker 9 (34:52):
At the screen, not just to check and it coincides
with my Google tablet in, but just to check it's
not some crazy picture I got in there without my modergy.
I reassurance. It's a lot of in there, but you
never known me. That's not saying that. It's this crazy picture.
Speaker 8 (35:08):
Jeez, that's not good.
Speaker 9 (35:12):
So I'm going to get into talking about my mortality.
And Rebecca mentioned a little bit as well earlier on.
Speaker 8 (35:19):
They's advice will love here.
Speaker 9 (35:22):
So the love talking about and dying off is exceptional
mortality that we are loved ones will eventually face there.
Speaker 6 (35:33):
H So, so yeah, that that was there was a
brilliant talk that you actually gave that day. Thanks a
lot of a lot of a lot of people, and
and one personally, it was was really moved that that
(35:56):
they did leave the room because they had the the
ERNs the experience of it.
Speaker 5 (36:04):
Yes, it I later learned that what I was talking about,
it was talking about talking, as I mentioned earlier, trying
to what if we are strange from someone and they're
getting older, and then all of us can feel so
pressure and I need to talk about what will happen
if it gets getting closer and we could all feel
(36:26):
that pressure of a conversation we may need to have
with someone who's maybe close to the end of their life.
And it's not often we don't often talk about that,
and that's what I was addressing and got into some
depth of that topic, and as you said, Michael, one
(36:46):
person seemed very upset and left the room. And of
course I'm continuing to talk, but I must admit, at
the back of my mind I was thinking, oh, geez,
did I go too far? You know, we can sometimes
question ourselves. I don't think I did anything wrong, nothing
like that. I'm talking about a very incredibly sensitive subject
(37:07):
that I know for my own experience, I don't often
I can't think but of really ever hearing people talk
about this, not not not in a confidence like this.
So yes, it was on my mind. And what was
so beautiful was when that was over, the person came
up to me and wanted to hug me for Oh
you know, that was very That was very touching, and
(37:28):
it really touched them and they just wanted to thank me.
So that was beautiful and I'm so pleased it had
such a positive impact on them. It was it was
very meaningful to them. So that that was That was
a really beautiful outcome.
Speaker 6 (37:46):
Yeah, So back to the the pet Bury But for
somebody to sign up and try and try to get
secure the respect in the group.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
Yes, so wow, time's going quickly. Because the first the
first one, we got six weeks. The first one is
this Thursday, February twenty seven. If anybody is interested, can
you please email me Andrew at Surreyhospits dot com. I
(38:20):
would say, really, the cutoff is going to be say
three This is what I've said before, so I want
to be consistent three pm tomorrow, so it's very little time.
It is important if you're interested, that you can attend
for six consecutive weeks, so every Thursday between six and
seven pm. It's also very important that you stay for
(38:40):
the four duration each time you come so short notice. However,
if it doesn't work for you on this occasion, please
get in touch anyway, because we'll run the group again
and depending upon how much interest there is, that will
probably determine how often and when we next won the group.
So if you miss out on this this this one
(39:03):
coming up, hopefully there'll be enough one soon and you
can join that one.
Speaker 6 (39:08):
So I will put your email address in the in
the show notes so that people can get in touch
with you.
Speaker 5 (39:17):
So that's wonderful.
Speaker 6 (39:18):
Thank you, Andrew, thank you for your time today. It's
been wonderful. Again. I always always enjoy speaking with you.
You're such a kind person.
Speaker 5 (39:29):
So yeah, well, thank you and thank you Michael for
this opportunity to share. It's been it's been great, so
many thanks to you.
Speaker 6 (39:38):
Yeah, so everybody check out the show notes if you
want to join the group, especially if you are in Surrey,
BC or in the Greater Vancouver area of British Columbia.
So checking out and email Andrew as quickly as possible.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
Thanks very much, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Opposed to.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
The sad sound you, I don't know so I would
(40:30):
from action, so wave.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
S this, he says, I reason to Shucho in last
(40:59):
show we can't wait, so can't see.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
She can't to.
Speaker 5 (41:47):
St stop.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Stop.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
I know.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
The show has been produced by Depictions Media. Please contact
us at depictions dot media for more information.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!