It Would Seem As Though Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

This week we talk about the beauty of different. We talk about mental health, our crazy family and whatever comes out of our mouths.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
M it would seem as though, Hi, hello, welcome to

(00:24):
another day in lovely paradise where we have a dry
moment it is.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I know, it's beautiful. I love it because it's fall
and it's chilly and mostly overcast. Yesterday, I take my
dogs to the vet and driving towards that, I was like,
oh my god, it's one giant cloud out. It's great.
I love it. Out of that, I'm driving home and
I'm like, the sky is blue. No, there's on a
cloud side, Like I know, I prefer the coziness of

(00:51):
the darker weather.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Yeah. Anyway, Yeah, I'm just picturing you, know, you as
Shirley Manson singing I'm only happy.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
When it Yeah, honest, let's keep real. I love the
right I know.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
I did you watch the video saying this morning?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah? I did.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
I sent her this video of this man saying I
don't understand this doing things outside the house after work.
I know. So you went to work and then you
come home and then you leave again. Yeah, at the
end of my work day, I'm like, I'm gonna be
late for home.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah, Honestly, keep it fucking real. I know. I think
that's often I feel like that's a younger man's game,
or unless your job falls for it right where you
have to connect or mingle or make whatever. But I
do think because I used to go to work all day,
come home, go out all night, you know whatever, all
the time. But now that I'm one hundred and seven,

(01:43):
I'm like boo.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
By waiting for a heart and you are keeping it.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much. I don't
come in the sun, I don't leave the house.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yeah, the color of you know pic, I know all
the blue lines.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Okay, wow, so welcome.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
To another episode. But it wouldeem as though the podcast
where we talk about anything, everything and.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Nothing most and I'm sick of your ship. That's that's
my person out there. I'm sick. Yeah, you know whatever.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
Her name was really Annika.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Just in case somebody doesn'tas one of our many listeners.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
These are ones and ones of listeners.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
You know, they may not know who knows.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
I was told the other day though that I might
be surprised how many people listen to our podcast because
one of my friends was saying, you should have this
friend of mine on your podcasting interview. And he's apparently
the guy who is the Portland Frog. Oh, my God,
and she's friends with him.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Holy shit, I would love that. That would be so
much fun. Let's get the Portland Frog on here.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah. And I was like, you know what you mean
for all of our half dozen listeners to And she's like,
I think you'd be surprised how many people listen to you.
I was like, well, I would because the stupid podcasting app,
which I love. Yeah, it was just because like doesn't
have any way of really tracking, which is weird because
it's like you had one download. I know that's not true.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, that's crazy, you had two in the whole year.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Yeah, and so I can't really know, honest to god numbers.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Because I read the metrics are through individual podcasting sites
Apple iTunes, you know, that would show you your metrics
more so than the place where you publish it. I
would think, because it's going to be like smart it
would seem as though on Spotify, and then it would
be like on Spotify it was listened to by people
or whatever. That would be my assumption looking at those

(03:37):
kind of metrics. But I don't know anything about anything, girl,
I just pretend I learned.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
I didn't know until I learned from my sister Linda
that you can ask Alexa to play our podcast and
she'll play it.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
It's like what it would seem as though, and she'll
be like, what the is that? I know it as well?
What though you don't know how to ask proper question, Linda?

Speaker 3 (04:02):
So yeah, great times. Speaking of family, Well, I know
we you know how we talk on here every week
about the misadventures of my mother missus. I like to
share the funny bits because there are lots.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Of non funny bits, aren't there though?

Speaker 3 (04:22):
But like yesterday, the fact that she was literally wearing
two pair of pants and three shirts and two different.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Shoes and had no and didn't think any of it
was wrong.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
No, I didn't even understand because I was like, why
do you wearing two hair of pants?

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Because I wanted to because I need them.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
And this morning when she was wearing her sweatshirt like
it was a scarf, and I was like, what's she doing?
And I went into her room to help her, you know,
like get herself back together, and all of her shirts
are laid across her bed and I was like, I
know what. I wanted to look at them because they're
pretty okay.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
I love it. The fascination of her laying clothes out
on her bed is so interesting to me because she
that's all the time.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
One of the things she does is she makes for
bed with clothing now her bed. By the way, if
I got underneath the covers, I would die immediately. I
burst into flames because she has about ten the top
sheet and then three or four quilts, and then.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
To the stadiumankets. Yeah, the stadium plank yes.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
And it's like I just thinking about it because like
I sleep literally with a sheet and my comforter. That
is it. Yeah, that is all.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
I mean. I sleep with more than that. But I
also sleep right next to my window that is open
all night, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (05:36):
That makes sense though, then it's.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Real chili in my room. I'm nice and pasting. Yeah yeah, yeah.
I grandma on a regular dates ninety degrees outside and
she's like, yeah, go sleeping under blankets like a right.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
But when I go in there and she's like, got
all of her flannel coats like spread out like pastor.
I know, I know, you know, you have blankets. I
need to have more over here on the floor, will
fold it up wile. And there's also something in her.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Dresser it is funny to me that sometimes she acts
like poverty stricken, you know what I mean, Like, well,
I gotta make my bed with my clothes, it's all
I had, you know, I gotta hide the hamburger. Apparently
I gotta hode my hamburger in my head board because
I'm hungry, like it doesn't make any sense, or behind
my jewelry in my bed. You know, it's early with
her jewelry under her it's very kind of transient lifestyle

(06:25):
where she is like keeping everything close that she has
that value she has value to, but also like squirreling
away food and drawers and ship is very like what
my dog does. No one's She's like, I'm gonna hide
my food.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
So it's also common behavior for children who've been in
not safe situations. We're not food food food security like
hide or yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
So it's very it's very interesting to me that she's
developed these like abused poor child behaviors. You know, I'm
like when you know, I.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Mean, the thing is she wasn't abused poor child, sure,
but like not before years ago, but not poor.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
It was like you were poor, I was poor, very different.
Both her parents worked, Yeah, like it was a nickel
an hour. Yeah, they had a house, they had all
the things right like, but yeah, it's very different kind
of poor. Sure she wasn't like wearing fur or whatever,
but it wasn't that where she was like needing to
lay her clothes over her bed to stay warm, you know.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
And I've been there and we didn't have heat where
the electricity would shut off or you know, I remember
the time that the water pipes burst and then froze, frozen,
then burst, whichever way it was. I assume it was
the second that they frozen then burst and flooded our house.
And we didn't have heat, so we just had.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
An ice skating rice. You guys just lived on ice
skating rink house strange.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
And everybody, all of us, slept in the living room
because we had a fireplace.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, well a body, he's going to keep somebody warm.
And there's half a dozen I do know.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
I mean, obviously I'm not. Obviously I've never been homeless,
you know, I have, and a couple points in my
life in my very end head to couch surf. Sure,
thankfully those were very short periods of time, because yeah,
I hate that m hm. So when I hear about
people doing that for months on end. It's like stresses
me right now. Yeah, well, first of all, I don't

(08:25):
want to be anybody's house guest.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
No, I don't enjoy it.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
If I go to your house and you have a
guest room, I'm still iffy about that. But if I'm
like sleeping in your living room or on your couch,
I don't want to perfect And now that I'm old
and have some funds, I don't have to know. Well,
thank you for inviting us. We'll see the day together,
and then I'm gonna go to my hotel.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yeah. Yeah, I think it really depends for me on
who the house guest or who it is. Right, Like,
there's people's houses I would stay in, but more often
than not, I don't want to go and stay in
people's houses when they're actively living there to break in
and either when they're not sure of course.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
Well yeah, for me though, it's more a level of comfort. Sure,
I want to sleep in like a king size bed
because that's what I'm used to, you know. I want
to go to sleep when I want to and wake
up when I want to. And so many people when
you're at their house have routines, have routine, like, and
if you're in your living room but they still get

(09:23):
up at the crack of dawn and coffee and you
know whatever, then you're awake too. Or if you're the
weird one who gets up at the crack of dawn,
which is me, then it's like I just have to
go find some place to sit and be quiet, go
look at my phone within my ears so that nobody
I'm not bothering anybody else.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
I know, no I do. It feels like, well, there
are rules in this house and I have to follow it.
So I don't want to be up too early, and
I don't want to stay up too late, you know whatever.
I do get that I've stayed I mean, you know,
road tripping or whatever. I've stayed at people's houses, and
it's not my favorite thing today.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
I remember one time when we were in California, so
it was the last game or of vacation. I royally
fucked up. I thought our plane home was at six am.
It was at six pm. There we are at the
airport and they're like looking at me, like there is
no flight, crazy, lady, what are you talking about? And
I pulled out my tickets and I was like oh god,

(10:16):
I'm so stupid. So I called the hotel right then,
and I said, here's what happened. If you haven't cleaned
our room yet, can we come back, you know until
checkout time?

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yes, it was really yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
And checkouts generally eleven. And they were like, yeah, that's fine,
no worries. You know, we wouldn't have known you were gone,
so yeah whatever. So although they would have because we
handed in our keys. But so you're back to the hotel.
Everyone but me fell asleep, and I because I'm not
a good napper. Once i'm up, i'm m So it's like, okay,

(10:50):
everybody's sleeping and I can sit here and do nothing
because they couldn't even turn't like read.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
No.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
I was like, I'm going to go sit at the
pool in the little chaise and you know, read a
book or videos on my phone or something. And I
was out there for a couple hours oer. But he
could sleep, yeah, because you know, but that's the whole
thing is, I don't want to be bothered because I'm
also a very considerate guest, yeah yeah, or a considerate
roommate or whatever. I don't want to wake other people.
I don't want to bother other people, you know.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
No, I got it.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
And I remember when I when I had moved away
from home, which I did at nineteen, when I would
like go back and visit. Sometimes I would have to
spend the night because I didn't have a car, so
I'd have to like figure out a way home next
day whatever. Yeah, And the only place is there was
no extra beds, there was no extra rooms. I would
have to sleep like on the couch in the living
room or sometimes on the floor.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
But my mother was still up at the crack of dog,
turning on the lights, putting on the coffee, do the things.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
I was like, well that's awful. Yeah, things a lot. Yeah,
I mean in Grandma's emo, I mean my whole life.
She was never subtle. She was never like, oh, everyone's
still sleeping. Maybe I should, you know, put on the coffee,
but maybe not turn on every light. And we did
not sing horribly in the kitchen all things. But it
was always like.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
By the way, when she says sing horribly.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Girl, yeah, and she's put it on lights and making
coffee and singing songs that I'm like, why are you
doing that? The cats are crying, you know. But that
was all the time, especially on the weekends. Oh, time
to get up and do chores or whatever. And I'm like, god,
damn bitch, Yeah, that was my child. Yeah, let me sleep.
I know.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
It was like every day and my kids think they
have it so rough with your one or two little chores.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Girl.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
I had to do chores every day when I got
home from school every day, and before we could even
turn on the television. And by the way, you know,
we still only had like five channels.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, and it was always Andy Griffish show every every channel.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Very basic. Yeah, but we couldn't. Nobody could turn on
the TV. Tell everybody was on their chores.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Yeah, because you turned on, someone's gonna get distracted them.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
And then it also keeps It makes the the siblings
hold the other siblingsccountable.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Like I want to watch you be her, yet you
do your damn job. Yeah, the Brady bunch. Just give
me out any minute, I know. Right. But then on
Saturdays we can watch Saturday Morning cartoons all the way
through American Bandstand, which was on eleven three or twelve thirty.
But then the TV had to go off and we
had chores and if it was nice, whether we were

(13:22):
supposed to go outside, but I was usually you know,
that's when I was the poor Victorian orphan.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
I have toy with her parasol and yeah her cozzy,
yeah sick. Yeah. But I got it when.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
I saw the movie Dangerous Lion and uh, one of
the actors, one of the characters is carried around on
a litter all the time, and I was like, that's
the life.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
That is what a dream, y'all? I love that. Yeah,
waking up and doing chores expected grandma leaving notes when
you wake up, you need to do all of these
things before I get home from work, like that was
such a commonality. Yeah, but yeah, my entire life was that,
you know, even growing up with like the white trash parents.

(14:08):
If I wasn't at grandma's house, it was like gott
we gotta go what this house is a little hovel,
Like what are we doing? But I go like fucking
muck the dog pin, you know or whatever it is.
Like I was crazy, Like it is funny to me
that a lot of kids now are like chores. You
want me to know the day banc't like shut the

(14:28):
fuck up that I was like carrying wood, do you
know what I mean? Like I was doing laundry, I
was cleaning. I was taking glass off a coffee table
and cleaning both sides and putting it back, Like what
the fuck for?

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Of course, the whole time that you're gonna drop the gun.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Shatter, shatter, Yeah, and I'm like ten, it was like
thirty hundred pounds.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah, all right, I'm gonna tell you a carrying wood story. Okay,
So my stepfather worked at a plywood mill. Yeah, so
he would bring home like with they called the end
pieces of the cast off yeah, you know, because it
was it was too small for them to sell. Yeah,
And he would come home generally with his truck bed full.

(15:11):
And I don't know why that particular day it fell
on me to unload the entire thing.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
But I'm one girl. I am one girl. You want
to do it?

Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, So it's like you you have to put every
single piece of that wood on the back porch, all right? Well,
me being me one, I literally just shoved it all.
I just threw it all in there.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
There was no rhyme or reason. Now, so you also
then couldn't open either door.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
It wasn't sacked, it was piled.

Speaker 3 (15:42):
And then he was like you are now going to
go back there and organize it and stack it and
blah blah blah, because this is an you know, not
manageable whatever. Like I did my job, but I was
like totally worth it.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, I had to read the entire job, but it
was I love that, you know my carrying one story
is when my birth father lived on a little ranch.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
And by the way, this really talks about our carrying.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
I know I heard what often because they had a
little stove or whatever inside their little double wade anyway,
and it was me and my stepsister were the same age,
and so we're in you know, probably like pajama pants
or whatever, because it's the woods, and we're jumping in.
It's this little trailer, right open air trailer, and it's
like janky. They put wood up on the sides to

(16:29):
make sure that it could stay in whatever, but there's
this little like person's size opening at the back and
you could just jump in and out. Whatever. Well, by
the end of it, we're sweaty and we're fucking cut
up and whatever. Sister's wearing little soccer stores and jumps
out and gets caught on the hook of it and
the shorts ripped right the fuck off her body, and
I was like, this was the best day of my life.

(16:51):
Like we're all kind off and crying and she she's
half naked and the law I'm like, why yeah, wear
in my life though, how many times it was like
my sister's getting injured or getting fucked and I was like,
oh my god, what a hard time for me. You know,
one time do.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
You see that really traumatizing me?

Speaker 2 (17:10):
My favorite I was writing my sister Ashley's bike. She
was older than me, her bike was too big for me, right,
and Mikaela and I are She's riding a normal size
bike for her person. We're next to each other and
we're right in front of Grandma's house and made you
Grandma's house didn't have a curb, there was no sidewalk, No,
it was road and it dropped off into yard.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
By the way, the drop off from the road to
the yard was considered, yeah, it was. And it was
not even a slowly.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
No, And I'm like, I can't if I turned and
hit her, So I just turned into her and in
my head it's like we're both all acid Britique httle
flying through the air and the bike's land they all
landed on Mikayla and I'm like, oh, I want to do.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Bike and MICHAELA Is like screaming, you know, decapitated, her
arms are broken. There's a file of bicy You're just
walking away like god.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
I'm no, I still there, fucking girl. Oh yeah, I
hurt myself and Michael's like, really, bitch, you hurt yourself when.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
Uh So I had to buy my own first when
I was sixteen.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
My god, you want a bike at sixteen?

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I did because I bought it myself and I never
owned one before. It was there because again poor. Yeah,
so I bought my bike so excited whatever my mother.
Then I think it was the next one.

Speaker 2 (18:32):
Did you have to ride one.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
I had learned atwell okay, okay, okay on a bicycle
with no brakes copy okay. Yeah, so I was iffy
at best, but sure, yeah, no, getting on and off
was always tricky for me, but I have the basics now.
I was never the kids because I have the handle. Yeah, nothing,

(18:54):
no tricks. No, My feet were never out in front
of me. They were always on the padelta. But my
younger brother's got bicycles for Christmas, and I was pissed.

Speaker 2 (19:07):
Oh really really, I.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Had my own bicycles. So we were riding through town
and my idiot brother is riding right next to me
and decides to turn in front of me, and we
are literally side by side and turns in front of me.
So I have no time to stop, and I go
flipping glass over tea kettle. And when I get up,
which somehow miraculously I was not broken.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
But I was also young, it was like all bones.
As I get up.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
And the front tire of my bicycle is now parallel
to the handlebars. No, it was like, now what now
you find my bike up step and his bike was fine, scratch,
but my bike is toast, my bike that I bought
myself with my job that man, and so I was

(20:02):
able to mostly straighten it out, but it had a
little fender over the wheel which was crumbled, so I
had to take that off. I was like, from that
point on, it never throws change, always kind of leaned once.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
I love that.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
When you're already not a skilled cyclist, sure you know
you don't need anything else making.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
You weren't doing theron girl or whatever.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
And so we lived in Carlton, which is out Yamhill County,
and not close to anything Yeam.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Hill County as if people are just like, oh, right county.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Well, when I was younger and people go, oh, where
are you from, And I say, well, I grew up Carlton.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Where's that the country?

Speaker 3 (20:42):
And but then I say it's out Yamhill County blah
blah blah. Oh okay, now, oh why country?

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah, And when I grew up there, it was just
the country and there was nothing to do out the well.
And as a kid, it was changing, but it was
still very There were wineries Victory as a couple, but
it wasn't like it is today. It was very different.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, but uh, McMinnville was the next town over, which
was actually big in comparison. Oh absolutely, because Carlton was
like twelve hundred people and McMinnville at that time was
twelve thousand. It's now like.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Over fiftys that's a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of growth for that many years.
I mean, brand it's been a lot of years, but
there's still a lot of growth. Anyway, I would have
to Like I was in the I was in a
show at a local at the community Theater and I
had to ride my bicycle from Carlton to mcmonville.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Isn't it a fifteen miles or thing?

Speaker 3 (21:38):
No, it is, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it
was like it was nighttime when I was coming home.
So I'm on that awful road in the dark by myself.
This bitch has always been afraid of the dark. I mean,
I still am in some circumstances, but you know, if
I have to walk by a big open window at night,

(21:59):
I'm like, someone's gonna be out there and I'm gonna,
you know whatever. Yeah, So one one, I'm coming home
and I'm like, it was a lovely evening. The moon
was full and there was no classes, so it was
I felt like, you know, I didn't even need my life.
I always had them on some other people's, yeah, but
I didn't need them to see sure. But I came

(22:19):
around this one big corner and I heard rustling in
the bushes and he said, Mary, you don't know what
happened next, because I was like home fast, like three
speed bicycles was on the fastest. I was, you know,
pumping like funny because something was in that it was good.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
It too be a possum and you're possibly give me
let me tell you it. It's so funny to me
that you're like big windows. I don't know if you
understand the main flour of your house. You have a
sighting box door and a huge picture fucking window, and
never are they uncovered or covered covered. They're always uncovered, always, always.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Always it.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
I hate it. I've always hated it. But you people
seem to think it's normal. When I lived with you
and I had to work at the crack of dawn
or before the crack and it was still dark, I
would make sure I had everything I needed, like where
no one could see me through those windows, because the
fact that they're open to the street, and it's just like, yeah,
and so you're telling you out there, you're not You're

(23:25):
a liar, You're a lying of I believe nothing you
say anymore. I know nothing.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
Credibility is shocked, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
So anytime I had to be there and you guys
weren't there and it was nighttime, I'm fucking closing those
We actually do have.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Curtains on the front window, and the only reason that
I stopped closing them was because my stupid dogs would
get caught up in them. And like.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
That's why you close it when you go to bed,
and you open it when you come up in the morning.
But instead you're like, fuck it, let everyone seem to
get Let them come in here and learn my life.
So then coming here and murder me. That's when I learned,
living in your house.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
That people could watch you and study you so they
can murder you well.

Speaker 2 (24:05):
And in the backyard that's pitch black, like someone's probably
out there watching you right now night vision. It's less
scary when the dogs are out. But again, when all
the dogs are locked up, and I'm like getting ready
for work, like, dear God, please don't let there be
Michael Myers like waiting outside for me, I'm already scared.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
I'm fairly certain that Michael Myers is not in the backyard.
You are fairly although. So we have lived here in
this house in January will be nineteen years. A long
time now, uh, And we've had some experiences. What like
we had one night I was in my room and

(24:43):
I can see lights because my curtains were closed. Oh yeah,
but I can see lights.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
In your backyard, in my backyard fence backyard.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah, And so I go to the window and I
open the Curt. I have to open my window because
my windows in my old bedroom are frosted so I
can't see out them. So I slide open my window
and there are people in my backyard with flush and
I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Well, there
were police in my backyard looking for an escaped.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Criminals on their run. My favorite Yeah, who had jumped
the fins. Oh good, yeah, yeah, it's like you could
just open it. Who was hiding? Yeah, he's hiding on
your property. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
No, there was a time where we couldn't even come
home because our entire neighborhood was yeah, because they were
the police had it all blocked off to find some
criminal who had.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Do you want to know?

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Stuck into our neighborhood.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
That is a formative memory of my young adult life.
And here's white because I'm taking the bus on my
way home and then I said it's blockaded, and you
and your husband are like, oh, wellcome to miss Sally's house.
I'm on a bus. What do you mean, I don't
know how to get there from here my neighborhood. I'm
making a shot. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
I remembering like, oh, so just leave me to die
in the neighborhood. I wasn't even home, and I'm like, oh, no,
one can come down take the bus.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
But see what my favorite part of that whole thing
really though, was how it ended. We came home and
Kyle down in the basement with you with a baseball
back because if somebody had snuck into the house, yeah,
he was gonna kill him. Yeah, to protect you.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Yeah, because I was scared girl, and I had to
be I can't go first. I was like, I live
in the basement by myself, I can go first. Yeah.
Now huh.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
I know that was when the basement was all like
basically one big open so yeah, but it was like,
I just remember Kyle being like, I'll protect you. Kyle,
by the way, was a dear sweet boy who was
probably a full head short.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
Yeah, but he was a little fit boy boy.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
He was he was God rest his soul.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
But he was like a little you know, street urchin.
So I'm sure he'd been in a minute tumble.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Well yeah, I mean he had a life, no, didn't
he though, I know, you know it's like in our
in our life. Yeah, we've had many foster boys and
I think two girls. I would trade all of the
foster boys. I would trade the two girls were like
to have all those Yeah, it was yeah, because they
were terrible.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Yeah girls, girls are just terrible people.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Yeah, anyway, but we had so many kids who you know,
had really challenging lives, and our little glimpse into their
world at that time was usually pretty interesting. But they
got to have like a normal life for a minute
when they lived with.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Us, which you know sometimes it really it worked for
them and it helped them out a lot. I think
I think most of the boys who came into the
house appreciated the house. You know. There were a few
that were like stealing my jewelry and ship but I
are not, or trapping me in bathrooms, but bah blah.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
I just you know, it's like when I think about
some of the dumber ship that the boys did. Yeah,
like the one boy looking up porn andy thinking no
one will know.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah, it's like, what are you talking about on my computer? Yeah,
and you don't know how to clear the fucking history.
Right where the kid who stole the bowling ball, the
same kid who stole my neck up stole the fucking
bowling ball from a bowling alley.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Right, he went to the bowling alley, stands ball and
comes home with a ball and no one noticed, and
nobody right he rode home on a bus with all
the other kids from the foster agency, and nobody noticed
that if it was baseball, I could see it.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
You put and let's wait, bitch. We talk about and.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
It was wasn't it in scrab Yeah, because it was
his brother's name or something, and he didn't you have
no I was like, if you're going to tell a story,
could you make it one that, if it's checked, could
be plausible.

Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
He called his mother and I was like, he said,
you brought him this bowling ball that belonged to his brother.
She goes, he doesn't have a brother, and I haven't
seen him this week. Oh okay, okay, So I told
I detected. The end of that story, too, was also
kind of hilarious because we called his IV is hilarious

(29:03):
and other people might not think.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
I also think it's he had it come in.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
He did have it come in because he was a
little little asshole anyway. So we called his worker, who
was like, oh, boy, so he's gonna have to go
back to Julie. M hmm, so we can come pick
him up, but that may take quite a while, or
you can just drive him there. So we were like, well,

(29:27):
didn't you have bowling ball already? Let's go bowling Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Uh huh, I love it. Got in the van and
all the other foster kids and me and you're like,
let's go. We're like okay.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
Everybody was aware of what was going on except him,
and we literally drove into the parking lot of the
Julie where you have to stop and go through security,
and he's like, none.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
The wiser, Well, why are we going here? Uh? And
we've him in the back seat with the fucking mini
man and blocked them in like you try to escape, bitch.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
So when the when we went through the first checkpoint,
we get in further security guard or a guarden guard
comes out to the van, opens the doors like you
you mm hmm, you're coming movie. Yeah, this is a
classic moment.

Speaker 2 (30:09):
It was. It was very really opened my eyes to
like the juvenile criminal justice system. I didn't actually know anything.
I was like, good writs, you bitch, you stole my
fucking necklast and a bowling ball eat shit, you know, Like,
but I because I was sitting in front of him
in the middle seat of this minifan and was like,
he's gonna fucking punch me in the back of the head,
you know what I mean, He's gonna kill men. Take

(30:29):
the bull, yeah, girl. One of my favorite memories of Kyle,
though he didn't srough. No, I'm still here talking unfortunately, No,
just kidding. Not my favorite memory, but it is a
funny one to me. I worked at footwear in clock
Misstown Center. It was a new location whatever, and I'm
by myself Do Do Doo hanging out and two boys

(30:52):
walking and I you know, when you work in a
place like that, it's pretty easy to be like, are
gonna try and steal from me? You know what I mean?
They're looking a shifty and trying to hide twitter. One
of the boys was like, canna cut and I'm all
Kyle and he was like, oh yeah, sister, and he
was so excited to see me. And they told his
friend we can't steal from her. And then he said,

(31:15):
don't tell Mom and Dada doing drugs again. And I'm like, oh, sure,
I won't tell them. I get home, Yeah, I won't
tell them right now.

Speaker 3 (31:23):
My shift, I tell them, you know.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
And that's one of my favorite things too about these
foster boys is none of them were They all knew
I was gonna tell y'all everything, and yet they would
still tell me and they're like, how did you find
out that this happened? Who do you think told me?
And they would still tell me shit like but I'm all, okay.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Girl, oh my god, I have to share with you
a little thing. So my salon because I own a
hair salon, which is just a teeny tiny yeah, you know,
a little salon with three chairs and c but I'm
it's like a barbershop next door, and then my salon,
and then a jewelry store and at so it's all

(32:01):
but they're all very clearly marked what they are. Right.
So some months back, this woman comes in and people
often walk in and you know, just will be will
not necessarily say hey, I'm here to see but wait
until we go let's help you or well, because if
I don't recognize them, then Debbie probably does. But it
was just me working that day, so it's me and

(32:23):
my client. And this woman walks in, walks directly over
to the retail rack, which on the bottom shelf has
magazines and books for people to read, and she starts
just perusing the magazines and I was like, can I
help you? And she didn't respond to me, and I
was like, h and they say, excuse me, can I
help you with something? She goes, well, I'm just here
to look at the magazines and they go, you know,

(32:43):
we're not a store through a salon. Well, what do
you mean? They go, the magazines are not for sale.
This is a hair salon.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
We do hair.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
And she looked very perplexed by that. And I was like, okay, whatever,
and you could tell that maybe she had some disabilation,
some sort yeah whatever, and I was so, yeah. Well,
so the other day Monday, as a matter of fact, she.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Wait, didn't we see that woman though? We got coffee
and we're driving out blocks the box from your song.
We're driving out number and you're like, that's that woman
and she wanted us to give her money. Nor.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Well, so Monday she is standing outside of my salon
just looking. I was like, oh, no, not her. Yeah,
you know, you remember the crazy ones. Well, she comes
in and right next to my station where I'm working
is a little tiny like cafe table that has magazines
on it. She walks over and I'm working on a client,

(33:45):
and so she's like, now inches from my client, and
I was like, what you doing? Can I help you
with something? She goes, well, I need to buy some magazines,
and I said, we don't have magazines for sale, and
she pointsed. She goes, well what are these and they
go those are there for my clients, hair salon magazines
for my clients.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Magazines.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
That's what I said. If you need magazines, QFC is
just down the block. I'm sure they have plenty of magazines.
I don't know anymore. It's hardly anybody sells magazines right,
and hardly anybody's printing magazines. But I was like, KFC,
and she just looked at me all puzzled. She goes, well,
I need two fives to buy a magazine at the

(34:26):
antique store. And I was like, what you you need
to two fives? Well, here's one ten dollars. We need
two fives to buy magazines at the antique store, and
then looks at us expectantly, Me and my client. Grace
looks at us very expectantly like we're gonna give her money.
And I'm still unclear about what she even said, you know,

(34:48):
and then Grace said us to her, She's like, well,
I don't carry cash. All I have are cards, and
so she looks at me and I go, oh, I
see you. I said, I don't have any money, and
then she just got all kind of huffy about it.
Walks out the door, and some guy is walking into
the barbershop next door and has cash in his hand

(35:08):
because he was gonna go pay for his haircut because
he had apparently I'm guessing from just watching the situation,
had gotten his haircut, realized he didn't have his cash
with her. W got cash that was holding in his hand,
and she literally reached out and tried to grab the
cash out of his hand.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Oh my god, he's not that's not for you.

Speaker 3 (35:28):
It's just crazy, that is.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
So I thought you were going to say she got it, and.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
She tried, and then the nice man went and actually
bought some money and gave it to her. So I
was like, well, that was nice. Nice so than I
would be. Yeah, I've on occasion given people money.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I've on occasion. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
I won occasion. My first name in the last name cash.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, anyway, anyway, but when you come and expecting it,
I need money, no, I think, Yeah, there are people
all give money too. I remember being downtown was like
a seventeen year old giving Like there was like fifteen
street kids sitting on like the curve and there'll be
nights whatever, and I gave them whatever change I had,

(36:15):
which was probably like a dollar, and they were super grateful.
But like, there are many times of giving people money
or whatever. Most of all, learning about the homeless when
I lived in San Francisco was pretty massive because San
Francisco isn't a big city. It is big in the
sense that there's a lot of people things to do,
but it area wise is very small, so everything is
right on top of each other. But I met a

(36:35):
lot of people who were houseless who The thing I
learned is a lot of them are in San Francisco.
There's a lot more aggression, being like this is my
fucking stupid you know what I mean, give me my
fucking money or would badger you. Right if you got
to know them and you live in the neighborhood, they're
more like, hey, what's up, girl, how are you doing?
I was going tall girl like whatever, like they weren't
trying to punch me. But what I did was, you know,

(36:58):
when I worked at Starbucks. We were donating food at
the time, so a lot of it was going to waste,
and we were allowed to take whatever we wanted the night.
So I was filling up like those little shopping bags
full of like whatever there was quote unquote going to
be thrown out the end of night or expiring and
filling it up. And as I'm walking home, which is
like five six blocks, I'm just like leaving bags of
food by sleeping houseless people because I'm like, at least

(37:19):
there's that, you know, But I never really.

Speaker 3 (37:23):
Wouldn't be excited to wake up to a bag of food.

Speaker 2 (37:26):
And yeah, you know, and I was taking a lot
of it home because there was like twenty roommates and
Sebastian seven feet tall, so he's eating like twenty fucking
sausage sandwiches a day. But like, yeah, I and by the.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
Way, not exaggeration, he really is.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yeah. I know that we like to embalosh. Yeah he's
a big boy. We'd like to embellish, but that's for real,
him is a bid boy.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
I did you know Gwendell and Christie is six foot four.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
I did know that because I've looked it up because
I loved tall bitches she is.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, she's I know.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Well, I am such a petite little gear all too time. Yeah,
I love tall bitches, especially if they break like six
foot I'm like, I'll take it. There's I don't know
what her name is, but she is in like one
of the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Oh, she's the
one who played Princess Diana in the crowd.

Speaker 3 (38:17):
I do not remember her in the last season.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Yes, and she's Yeah, she's a tall girl.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I love seeing it and tall girls who are just
super models, right, Like I want to see girls who
are just tall and existing, right, I'm here for it.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
But I really love to seeing Gwendola and Christie standing
next to Jenna or Tega like two six Yes, so
it's just a breed of humans.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
I know, are you guys the same people? Like it
doesn't seem real. I know that scene in Wednesday though,
where she crawls across the table at Jenna Artaga, I'm like,
this may be the best scene I've ever seen it.
I know, it's so good.

Speaker 3 (38:57):
I'm glad that they found a way to bring her
back for season two.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
For her yeah, I know, I know, you'll never watch
it because it's Game of Thrones and it's a lot
and its brutal whatever, but she is in it, and
she is a night She's a naile role, right, but
she's a baddie and she's so phenomenal. She's such a
great actress like I adore her. And in that it's
obviously very different than Wednesday. It's not happy pop culture.

(39:23):
It's like gritty, dirty, bloody. But Gwendola and Christie is
like an angel, like an electrical angel. She's so amazing.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Yeah, I am going to change the subject for me
because I've actually had one so far from gw and Christie, Like,
you know, three hours in and we've barely had a
real topic. That's okay, But that's okay. What I wanted
to talk about for just a moment was not bad

(39:53):
clicking on the wrong one that the Supreme Court rejected
the efforts to overturn the Marriage Epaulia Act. But did
you see who it was that was trying to put up.

Speaker 2 (40:03):
That it was Kim Davis or whatever. Yet the woman
who refused to give marriage license.

Speaker 3 (40:10):
She has a county clerk from Kentucky who because it
was against her religion and her morals, refused to give
gay couple's marriage licenses, you know. And so then she
got fired, and she got sued, and it still has
yet to pay a dime over because they want the lawsuit,
but has yet to pay out a single dime because

(40:32):
she keeps fighting it. So she's racked up quite a
bit of legal fees. Three hundred and sixty three and
sixty thousand dollars in legal fees in all these years.
What's funny to me? Okay, So we're going to talk
that it's against her religion and her morals. This is
a woman who when she was married to her first husband,

(40:52):
had an affair, got pregnant by her affair partner, and
then divorced her first husband, and then married the affair partner,
and then divorced Tim and remarried her first husband. And
it's like, so your morals and values are they seem
shaky at best?

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Bitch?

Speaker 3 (41:09):
Right, so you're having an affair, I'm are you sure
that's one of those no nose in the Bible?

Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, adultery is a bad thing.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
You should get right there in the Ted command.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
All right, bitch, we'll overturn the command.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Says say that shall not be queer.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
No, no, but here's the thing. We'll overturn your marriage,
but I get to stone you to death. Well yeah,
yeah that's and I get to you know, video, bitch,
and show the world this is what happens.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
So she's been fighting this for ten years.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
I know, like, pathetic girl, this is the hell you're
gonna die on. You need to know some gay people
with your odd hair and your frumpy clothes, bitch, Like,
what the fuck is wrong to you?

Speaker 3 (41:43):
Think? How much just die gay people could have helped
her out? I know it's like, you know, if I
look at her with that bad like snooky bubble on
top of her head, bitch.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
And she's from padelic she you know, she's let her.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
Outsides match her insides and just which I really appreciate, agreed,
I know when you are as ugly as you really are.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Yeah, it makes me think though of like someone who
had more redemption? Do you remember wife swap? Whatever? They
are not Christianity, they are dark sided. She has made
a full fucking god warrior. Yeah, she's a whole one eighty.
She now loves the queers, goes to Pride like completely open.

Speaker 3 (42:19):
See, and that to me is wild because when she
and I don't know, maybe some of that stuff that
she did on wife Slop was an act, sure, I
don't know, but she was beyond religious zelot.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
She was.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
If you do anything that she thinks isn't like mainstream
or Christian, you're dark sided, you know. And she had
a complete fucking meltdown because the household that she was
swapped into if you don't watch Wife Swap is fucking crazy.
But you know, they had Tarot cards and gargyle garbyles,
you know, and so it is all dark sided and

(42:55):
not Christian or is she said not Christian?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Yeah? Who's Christiana? She's you know, she's super model Christian.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
I don't know. But the fact that she, in her
very hard set ways somehow turned it around. Yeah, And
it's like, oh, are people too well.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
I love those kind of stories though, like you shouldn't
have been a ship head to begin with, but the
fact that your head and you're like, oh, maybe I'm
just being dumbis shit. Like I love that because I
think that those stories to be shared more than oh, well,
this is a homophobic kid who was raised by a
homophobic dad with grandfather you know.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
What I mean?

Speaker 2 (43:38):
Like, I prefer the people who are willing to be like,
oh I was wrong and brainwashed and whatever. I prefer
that people who can take accountability. And I'm more apt
to be like, Okay, I believe you. I believe that
you've changed if you can take accountability. But people are like, well,
just how I was raised, But how was I supposed
to know? Like, grow up, learn some shit.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Learn some stuff, pay attention to the world around you.
Maybe learn something that's always I think a good start.
Learn something, listen to somebody, do something outside of a
little bubble, you know, because I know for me growing
up in the country, growing up the way that I
did in church because as I've mentioned many times, we

(44:23):
were churched to death. You know, we church three times
a week.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
That's what Jesus wanted. He wanted to church.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
I want you to have so much church that you
dream Bible versus and then you die because you are
like sure, ye, But growing up the way I did,
I always question religion, right, But I had I think
a fairly narrow view of the world, and not narrow

(44:53):
as in like I thought, you know, oh you're different
than me, You're a sinner. But I used to think
more like, oh you do drugs, you're a bad person.
Oh you do this, you're bad. And it wasn't it
was more black and white. Yeah, it was like, well,
I don't believe this thing is right, and you do
this thing, so you're bad, you know. And as as

(45:14):
I aged and as I actually was out in the
world and learning things, that was like, oh, icy, there
are shades there are, you know, and they're like, because
you don't do or say or believe what I do,
that just makes you different. Unless you're believing you should
murder people, you're bad.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
And I think us putting a value on good or bad,
I think it's we can break it down to like,
you like ice cream, you think it's good. I don't.
I think it's bad. Like then, it's all so subjective
and there are things that are not Hitler the Holocaustnica
thinks ice cream is bad. Well, and like, here's the thing,
I don't think it's see that.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
Ica hates anyone who eats.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Icy exactly right. And then there's variation poison. I don't
like ice cream, I don't care a few scream I
don't want it right like, but there there's the difference.
I also I questioned religion a lot too, But I
also just questioned authority because I was like, this is bad,
like living and how I'm living isn't good? What good

(46:14):
is coming from that? But I always felt like authority
was oppressive, and I don't I didn't know growing up
and stuff. I knew a bunch of people of color.
It's like, oh, growing up, I knew people of color
from Portland, and you knew queer people from Portland, and
I knew microworkers and indigenous children to school with. Like
that's it, you know. So I didn't really have this

(46:35):
concept of like black people or Asian people or Muslim
people like I didn't know as much as you know.
But I never ever felt like, oh, when I transferred
high schools to mc Minville High, you know, there was
a small Muslim population and so girls were wrapped like
had their head scarves. But I never saw it and thought, oh,

(46:58):
my god, terrorists or oh she's gonna kill us, right,
and this was after nine to eleven. But I was
just like, huh. I never crossed my mind to look
at someone and think, well, they're bad because they're different
from me, because I was the different kid. Do you
know what I mean, So being looked at as the
quick and everyone was like oohuck. But also one of

(47:19):
the things that's always puzzled me and to this day
puzzles me, is when you look at someone else who
is different, like let's say who they were a hit
job or something like, you know that's very different from
your culture, and that somehow offends you, or that somehow,
you know, it is.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Like flying in the face of your beliefs. How well
you see somebody else doing something that is part of
their culture and part of their daily life and part
of what they believe, Why does it have anything to
do with you?

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Yeah, well, it's comfortability. It's people being uncomfortable. And we,
specifically in the US and the Western nations, we've been forever,
you know, I mean slavery right, the other is bad
and that applied to literally everyone else. I mean American history.
We've done it to black people, to Chinese people, to
Native American people, to Asians. It's just we continually do it, right,

(48:15):
And so any person who doesn't follow the Western ideals
because we think Western and civility and civilization are all interconnected,
but that's not necessarily true. So when we look at
somebody who is different, we think, how asked backwards, how uncivilized,
How you're so different, but you're doing it wrong, right,

(48:35):
And I think that's how most people we know growing up,
like my biological father, that's him. Every person who was
different or of color or queer or effeminate or slower
or whatever, they were bad and different, wrong and fucked up,
you know, all the time.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Right. So, because you're not in my little bubble of
comfort exactly well, and I know that when my kids
were started going to elementary school here in our neighborhood,
I when I saw all these little girls who were
you know, headscarves or his jobs, I looked at them
and I didn't feel any kind of like, oh my god,

(49:12):
that's wrong. Yea. What I felt was I felt concerned
for them.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Because in the world, yeah.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
Yeah, because I was like, someone's gonna come to them
and go, oh, they're part of a terrorist family obviously,
because look how they're dressed. Now. They as far as
I know, didn't face any of that at least in school. Sure,
and I mean I of course don't live their lives,
and I didn't know them outside of school, but it
made me concern yeah, because I would see these beautiful
little girls and just think someone's gonna say something fucked up.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
To them, and like why right, Like that's the thing
is being like, oh seeing the girl covered, Like how oppressive,
how fucked up for her? How dangerous? Yet you're gonna
go home and strap a little red white bikini on
your three year old girl? Like it doesn't make any
sense to me that we're so offended by people's modesty
when it comes to their religion and their culture, Like

(50:02):
why is it so offensive yet? Nuns yet, clergymen? All
these people are very modest in their dress when it
comes to Islam or Buddhism or whatever it is, where
you are more covered or wearing layers, but you don't
look like you should fit into the West. It scares people.
And I would say uncomfortability is the mother of fear

(50:25):
of hate. And I would say uncomfortability is the foremost
feeling of oppression because it makes sense.

Speaker 3 (50:33):
Yeah, it makes sense that it's like you see somebody
and we've talked about this a thousand times, Yeah, you
see somebody doing something that you've been taught is wrong,
is against God, is against nature, is whatever, and they're
not only doing it, but they're happy and they're not
giving a shit what you think about them. And it's like,
how dare you not care about what I'm thinking about?

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
How dare you fly in the face of all these
things that I've been told or on your side? Because
that makes me question things and I don't want to
question things. Because I question things, shit's going to start
to unravel. Yeah, you know, and that I think is
you're right. That is I think the very basis of
all the hatred and the bigotry or whatever is that's different.

(51:16):
And I don't like it well, and I don't want
to take time to get to know it because I
know it's wrong.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah. I would even go further and saying being uncomfortable
is a catalyst for growth in general. Being uncomfortable is
either going to make you like harden your shell and
go deeper with any of yourself and be like you're
wearing a burka that's bad, you're brown, that's bad, you're queer,
that's bad. Or being uncomfortable is going to make you
look at what you're seeing, look at yourself and growth

(51:42):
in that situation and understand that people are different and
the differences of people is what makes the world beautiful. Right.
The diversity of nature is why we love nature. So
why can't we we accept that in human in humanity, right, Like,
humanity is diverse in many different ways. So I think
if you're uncomfortable, it's either going to shut you down

(52:03):
or it's going to make you grow. And a lot
of people fear growth.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
But what I'm gonna say about what you just said
about the differences in nature. We love the differences in nature.
If they're beautiful. We like looking at the changing color
of the leaves. You like beautiful little deer because they're
adorable and whatever. But you look at a fucking anglerfish
and you're horrified. You look at some animal or something

(52:29):
that's just kind of frightening looking, and it's like, well,
terrible and so well. But it's kind of the same
thing is you look at something that's different enough that
you don't recognize yourself in any way, and it's like, well,
that's bad.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
It's easier to also fight against them, you know, to
be like that's I mean, if you go back to slavery,
like Africans were not that different culturally, sure, but they
weren't they were humans, right, Like.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
But that's why they had to, you know, say that
they were not well.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
And I have realized something recently is that morality has
an aesthetic property, meaning we if we if something is
beautiful and something heinous happens to it, we act like
it's a bigger front. So you kill you kill a cockroach,
that's great, You kill a butterfly, that's bad. Why because

(53:18):
but one's beautiful and one isn't. So when people tell
you things are good or things are bad, it's not
necessarily like an objective truth. It is based on the
attractiveness and the proximity, right, Like, it's not just going
to be like good or bad. That is a matter
of opinion.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
But you know, you also you come across that a
lot and like what people will and will not eat
because you know, shooting a deer is terrible because they're
so cute and they're beautiful and whatever, but you know
some ugly animal. Or when people are like, how could
somebody eat a dog? Yeah, because dogs are pets and

(53:56):
we love them. Well, how do you kill a cat? Exactly?
Kill because that somebody's pet or that's somebody Well, it
certainly could be, but it's still an animal. And it's
still in the same And yes, I eat meat, I do, absolutely,
But also they don't have any I don't have any
false you know, beliefs that you know that's not you
know that it's any different than any other kind of animal.

(54:18):
I don't, But I do eat meat. Were up on
a farm. Yeah, I know what it's all about. I
don't think that it just magically shows up at the supermarket.
But I also understand that in other cultures, they're going
to eat things that we're going to find.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
You know, in India, cows are holy cows and they
do not eat them. And if you found you get
a cow, like it's a criminal offense, like because they're
considered holy. Here we raise cows and thought for them
for food. Yeah, strictly for food, you know. So I
just think that it's hard for a lot of people.

(54:55):
But removing yourself from your own standpoint and putting yourself
from the standpoint of somebody else and being able to
see the world through their lens is very helpful. And
what that starts with learning about other peoples. But that's
talking about them watching documentaries, reading books, but like read
books written by people who know what they're talking about.
Don't read like a white man's aunt of Africa, do

(55:18):
you know what I mean? Don't read like this white
bitch's account of China. Like read people who are from there,
who cultureal know about it, who are studied like I
just think it's more important to walk around without blinders on.
And if you're we talk about being uncomfortable all the time,
but if you're uncomfortable, stit with it. Act ask why

(55:39):
am I, you know, being on this bus or in
the elevator with a black man? Why does make me uncomfortable? Right?
Why to seeing a drag queen reading books to children?
Why does that make me uncomfortable? And everyone who what
you project is your fear, right, Like, what you fear,
you're just projecting on other people. So you're being like,

(55:59):
oh my god, that d queen's gonna last children. Well
in your mind that maybe happen to you, someone lest
in you, or maybe you have desires you can't mention,
or you know, just really drank the kool aid.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
Because whoever raised you, whoever you surrounded yourself with, has
told you, well, all queer people are pedophiles, when the
fact of the matter is very few. You know, if
you look at it. Most people who consider themselves heterosexual
are pedophile. No, I'm sorry, Most pedophiles are heterosexual, or
at least consider themselves to be heterosexual. Most people who

(56:33):
abuse women, who abuse children are people who consider themselves
to be heterosexual, heterosexual as men for the most part,
you know, and I'll even go further to say, most
of the ones that you see who are like shooting
up things and are quite gender straight.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
So the trans you know, threat to the world is projection.
It's a projection that you're going to address it. They're
going to be happy in a life that you think
they shouldn't have, you know, and we've talked about that
many times too. But it's like you, if you just
for a moment, like you said, just sit in your

(57:15):
discomfort and really look at why does this bother me?

Speaker 2 (57:19):
You know? And I.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
One of the books that I read about white privilege
talks about you know, it's not the job of the
black person who you just offended to a make you
feel better about offending them, or b to explain to
you why what you said is offensive.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Exactly to teach you anything.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
That is your job. And if they're nice enough to say, well,
I'm going to tell you why that's bothersome, then you better,
you know, lap that up, because it is not their job. No,
you know, it is your job to figure out why
whatever it is that came out your mouth or whatever
behavior you did that was obviously offensive, why it was offensive,

(58:04):
and how to change that. I know that I have
through the years, obviously because I was brought up in
the same racist society as all white people have said
things not knowing they were offensive or not knowing that
they were racist or what.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
And then when I learned it was like, oh my god,
I can't believe now that I see that, I understand that, Yeah,
you know so well. I also think there's a lot
of performance when it comes to like like talking about
race or you know, gender or whatever, because I think

(58:40):
the litmus test for me is you tell me you're
anti racist or you're you know, not a bigot or whatever.
If a black person came into your come your store
and your I don't know, sun clothes and we're not
nice to you, and then we're not kind to you
and they were argumented to would you call them the
N word? Would you use a racial derogatory term or
that person because what we see often is that people

(59:03):
will be like, oh, I love people of color, love people,
and then they'll see an aggressive or an angry or
a set black person or have a confrontation with them,
and they'll be like, oh, well, you're just an N word,
you know what I mean? Like, yeah, then they're real
support their real ally isn't real?

Speaker 3 (59:21):
Are also the people who say, well, I use that
word because those people are that, you know, whoever they're maning.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
There's a difference between.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
And that's a word as a white person should never
even come out yeah for any reason. Never, no, no, no,
you know, but it's like you're right. Then people will
also go, well, see they were aggressive because black people
are aggressive. Yes, they were this because that group of
people is this and they're and it's like, no, that
person was aggressive because they're aggressive. This person was rude

(59:52):
because they're rude, this person whatever. It's like, if you
can separate, it's like Anako is a bitch because Annaka
is a bitch, not because you know whatever, she's in
this group of people and they're all bitches. She's a
woman in our family.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
So probably, but whatever. I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:00:11):
It's like if you because you wouldn't do that to
like some white person who came in, you know, you
wouldn't be like, well, see white people.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Mm hmm, I know exactly. I know it is, but
that has been so often though in people's allyship or
whatever is very performative and very surface. Yeah right, it's
like no, but look, I'm good, I'm doing good things.
You know you're not because internally still hateful, right, which happened?
We see it all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
One of the things, one of the things that I
learned fairly young was because we live in a fairly
white society, we're looking at the fairly white television. We're
looking at ads for white people that you know, the
beauty standard is white people.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:00:59):
It's like, so people will look at somebody, you know
who is not white and be like, well, but their
features are this, and they should you know, they'd be prettier.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Isn't It's so weird?

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
How is that? I mean, I looked at people and
I just think, like, one of the most beautiful people
I think I've ever seen is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
That can't be Real's Yeah, she's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (01:01:24):
She's so beautiful that she hurts my face because I'm
looking at her. Going no, that's not real, no, wrong,
And next to her, I feel like a toad. But
it's like I don't understand the European standard of beauty
because blondie hair blue more boring, boring.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
But that it's changed, right, it has changed dramatically because
it's not like the thin wet fish boy buddy good with.
Now it's like be so thin with huge boobs and
a huge hips and huge ass and big lips and
false slashes and long hair, you know what I mean, like,
be this caricature of a woman. And that's what's funny

(01:02:02):
to me, is all like the common cultural desirable look
for being a woman is what I just described, right,
But that's not I mean, it's a character. And then
women want to get mad at trans women and drag
queens for being characters and like the girl, what go
look in the mirror, pop kettle.

Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
I mean, really, just look at any Kardashian. They all
have made their skin darker. They all have had so
much work done that they don't even look human anymore.
Most of them. No, but it's all they all have
big asses, tiny waists, but that's not natural.

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
The one more of them, no, the one books most
regular is like one who's just a fashion model, like
Kendall or whatever her name is. She's just tall and
thin and white, right, she doesn't maybe she's like yeah
not not Kylie, Kylie.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
I don't know what I can hardly remember, which is.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Just a tall, thin one who models, right, And then
all the other ones have been like injected and plumped
and boosted and plucked in yeah painted, I don't know,
but yeah, it is interesting to me because now the
ideal feminine look is not a real person. The ideal
feminine look is fume far between. It is a combination

(01:03:12):
of like the best white attributes and the best black attributes,
do you know what I mean? And the fact that
white women are just like tanning until they have skin cancer.
What is the point we all hate, you all hate
like dark skinned people, but now you are going to
tan and plump your lips and literally take on every
characteristic you find desirable about black women.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
I learned some time ago that bustles were created to
make white women look like they had a bigger ass,
which is so funny, you know, it's like, but yet
they then were like, you know, I need to be
so thin and so whatever. But it's like because you
were emulating black women.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Yeah, always exaggerated, which I'm like, why do we think
that was cute?

Speaker 3 (01:03:55):
It's like a costume zone. I think, what an amazing
thing and what a horrific thing? Have the weird Yeah,
you imagine heavy and hot.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
I just find it find because it's all like up
to their throat and long sleeves and hits the ground
and they have a huge ass like y'all are weird,
Like y'all weird a ship.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
Yeah I know, I know you're weird me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:17):
And on that note, we gotta get out of here.
I got to do I'm over I'm over here, bullshit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
Yeah, well it happens.

Speaker 3 (01:04:24):
Well, it had to happen eventually.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
Yeah, I mean, you know we've been doing this for
so long. Yeah, I know you for too long now. Yeah,
thirty six years girls almost thirty, she's so old.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
Well our girl Astra, yes straight, just turned forty right
birthday and I know I was texting with her that
old ass bit. Yeah, she's got to get her so security.
I know, I know we're gonna put tip balls at
the bottom of it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
All right, Well, we really are going to go because
we've overshot our hour hair. Which something I'm gonna share
with you that I think is kind of funny is
whenever we start this, I always think there's no way
we can talk for it. I know, I got nothing
to talk about, nothing, And here we are an hour
and we're still gibby jabbing about GiB Yeah, girl, So
you know we're Our show comes out every Wednesday, it does,

(01:05:20):
except for the Wednesdays when my co host is dying.

Speaker 2 (01:05:23):
Sorry, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
They're doing blood lighting and whatever her blood though.

Speaker 2 (01:05:28):
Because I have like I'm done.

Speaker 3 (01:05:34):
But our show as a rule comes out every Wednesday.
And we just talked about whatever. You want to talk
about something specific, then you should probably email us. It
was seemed as though at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Yeah yeah, I know that that will talk at you
next week. All right.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
Bye there