It Would Seem As Though My Mom Was A Bad Ass

This week we talk about our fictional lottery winning plans, our emotional week with my mom, and tell stories from her past.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
It was.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hello, Hello, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
You told me to get clothes, but then what did
you do? Two seconds? I got clothes like eating the microphones.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah, sorry, she's crazy, but that's okay.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's one of the one of her finer points.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, crazy is my mental instability.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
I have a question, and this is actually for the
people listening, but we just had this discussion in the car.
If you suddenly came into a great deal of money,
and I mean a great deal, not like just enough
to pay off your house, no, no.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
No, and people like people had to know about it too,
write because you wont like the big lottery and the
post your name or so everybody knows that you've.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Now just won like five hundred million dollars, which of
course is more money than any one person ever needs.
Would you tell people? Would you give people in your
life money? Would you even would you help the people
who you know weren't really there for you? I know,
because well, I I have always, as an adult, had

(01:26):
my lottery plan in case I want the lottery now. Obviously,
to be fair, I should buy tickets a little more often.
If I think I should buy, I am because I
buy them and then I forget to ever check them more,
or I'm like I have to get out of my
car to my new one. If someone would just create
a drive through lottery thing, I'd be right there.

Speaker 4 (01:44):
I know'de buy tickets. The older she gets, the more
she wants to live. And I don't know, fucking Reno.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I know, but I have to say to myself things
like normalize getting out of the car, you know, because
now between work and here, I don't want to get
out of the car, mom, I want to come home.
I want to get in my companies. And I was
in a comfy chair. Yeah, I TV.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
You know what old people?

Speaker 1 (02:05):
Okay, so you've won the lottery. Yes, and suddenly the
people who are you've known or are related to you,
but we're not an important part of your life or
were important in all the wrong ways.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, do you give money?

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Right?

Speaker 4 (02:22):
And we were talking about this earlier because that was
my question. I've always thought about that, like who would
come out of the woodwork to be like.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Oh, Annika, remember we remember me?

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Remember how much fun Way alone you got like half
a million dollars in grade school?

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Yeah, right, I wonder I would like that, But I
mean it really wasn't monopoly, but yeah, just.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
I wonder who would come out and with our family
and the people we know, it would be pretty telling, right,
Like most of our family would.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Be all, excuse me, but we're related and I've always
loved you. Now give me money. You know.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know I did buy you things when you were young. Yeah,
so now you should pay me that.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
So you didn't die under my care, so you you
know well.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
And I do wonder about that. I wonder because we
have a very very large biological family, and most of
them we don't talk to correct for very good reasons.
But I do wonder because I know there are people
that I am actually blood related to that I would
be happy to give money to.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Agree.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
I mean, like, if I had that kind of ridiculous money,
I'd be like, here's your check for a million dollars.
But I would also include in that envelope with the
check tax forms, because like, make sure you pay taxes
on this bitch, otherwise you be in trouble. Huh. And
I think if you give someone that much money, the
taxes is almost half, yeah, because but that's still half

(03:39):
a million dollars that you didn't have the day before my.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Mom, it's like up to ten grand or something, and it's.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Thirteen grand you can give someone with no taxes.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Okay, yeah, that's crazy, but you have to remember to
pay taxes. Ye, yeah, girl, I just I've always wondered,
ask Wesley Snipes.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, or i'mc Hammer.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
But it's like the people in my life who've been
good to me, no problem at all. I'd be like,
you know, either giving them a bundle of cash or
writing a check or how however it's done these you
tell me, I don't know. I don't know how that
would work, but I would most likely give away. I

(04:19):
would say eighty percent of it. I would pay off
my house.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I would put.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Trust funds for my children and college funds for like
kids who I want to see succeed, who are like maybe,
but I don't necessarily want to give their parents money,
you know, totally. We know some of those too. Yeah,
but as long as I had enough to have my

(04:44):
little dream house, my Barbie dream house, your a little compound,
write my compound, and.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
That's exactly what I want.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
I want if i'm you know again, we're doing fantasy money. Yeah,
I would have a compound. I would have like my
own kind of cul de sac. Yeah, essentially built on
like a thousand acres of property somewhere, So we were
the only ones on that.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Yep. Well, you know, when you're that rich, bitch, we
don't need to go anywhere, you know what I mean.
We can go on vacation order, but we don't need
to go to the grocery store.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
No, someone else is going to be doing that right. Well,
And it's funny because there's there was a trend on
social media for a while and people were like, oh,
if I won the lottery, I wouldn't say anything, but
there would be signs.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
You know.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
I always joke and say like, oh, I'd immediately the
first thing a chauffeur I'm hiring.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
I'm gonna get a brand new.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Comfy car that's basically just like a lounger in the back,
right and the driver.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, not a limousine. I think limousines are horribly uncomfortable.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
I know only that, but there it's like why do
I I think they're stupid?

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Right right?

Speaker 4 (05:43):
I don't first of all want all that people, all
that room for all those people, but.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Also then other people want to get in your car.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Yeah, it's just like too much. I'm much rather have
like a custom like Lincoln town car that's all booged
out in comfy, like put a bend the back, bitch,
you know whatever. But yeah, that would be like my
first thing. I would be hiring a driver.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
I will tell you as someone who's owned a Lincoln
sound Card, I mean grnted. When I owned it, it
was already an antique, sure, but it still road there.
You know. It's it's insane, you know, And I rented
one that was brand new, and I'm telling you, I
was like, how am I staying awake on this? Cause
it's like the most comfortable thing ever. Yeah, but absolutely

(06:23):
I would have something like that where it's easy for
me to get in and out of. Yeah, and it's comfortable,
and I would have it all tricked out with all
the good things, you know, the good sound system and
all the seats heated now just the front ones.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
But I would have a driver.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
I would also have a cook. I would have, well,
I'm starting out first housekeeper.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
My very first thing would a driver, even though like
where do I go? Why do I need a driver?

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Literally, I wouldn't. They'd be like what do you want
me to do?

Speaker 4 (06:49):
On the off time, and they all I don't play
tech driss, bitch, I don't care like hang out.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
Yeah, I feel I would want a team of people, obviously,
because why not. But I also think that one of
the first things we would have to do is like
make ourselves a business, like create a corporation like us
as a people, right, because then taxes are different. Then
we can have employees, right, and then they can have
benefits and actually pay into like four one K and

(07:17):
Social Security and shit like that instead of us pulling
out correctly, right course. But like, yeah, I think buying
property might My big thing would be animals, right, So
I'd buy property and have a big sanctuary or a
big you know haven, or people could come adopt animals.
But I would also want to keep a huge part
of whatever nature we get, like untouched in nature. Yeah,

(07:38):
just like let it be a conservation. But yeah, that'd
be those would be my first things. I'm not flying
to bali, bitch, I'm not buying a private jet.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I'm not doing none of that.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
I don't want any of that.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
No, And you know, I will say.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Here's one thing that I have fantasized about doing. I
mean obviously again have to be super rich. Yeah, I
would like buy every seat on an airplane just so
that we were the only people on the plane. But
you know, but maybe a smaller plane but whatever cares,
but one where there's like what do you call it?

(08:10):
Business class? Sure, and first class where it's nice. Yeah,
and then take everybody who wants to go to Disneyland.
Oh but it would also be because you know, you
can actually rent Disneyland for private place.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yes, I would want that.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
You know, I think that's really cool.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
I think the private party would have to be you
and your closest like four hundred friends, because a private
party of like fifty people in Disneyland feels uncomfortable to me.
It feels unsettling to empty two mare. Yeah, it's like
I don't know. This is also big on social media,
the talk of like e liminal spaces and what and

(08:47):
so what that is they in social media horror it's
called like the back rooms. So oh in the back rooms,
And what it looks like is just like an office
building with nothing in it and you're just walking through
and there's nobody and there's nothing that like no desk,
no computer, nothing, but there's back rooms of like water
parks where and what it really means the liminal space
is like places that should that are popular and meant

(09:09):
to have people doing all the things. When there's nothing
happening and no one there, it becomes eerie, like if
you ever walk through a mall when no one's there, unsettling, right.
Could you imagine being at a water park, being at
Disneyland where there's only me and my closest like dozen friends,
I think would be scary.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
I mean I wouldn't want it to be like, you know,
just the people live on our compound. That'd be weird
and be uncomfortable. But I mean I would invite like
everybody who wanted to go. Sure, yeah, you know. And
it's like I would even put it on like my
friends on social media. It's like, girls, I'm doing this thing.
I'm paying for everything.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
Yeah, that'd be really fun. That'd be really fun. Yeah,
doing things like that, or like the underprivileged, or like
the kids who can never go guess what you and
your family's going to go to Disney for a day,
super cute.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Well, because I know that my kids, my spoiled, spoiled children,
have friends who've never been.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Who've never even been on vacation?

Speaker 4 (10:01):
Well, mama, you know, and so just turned fifteen. That
was the first time I went to Disney end when
you were fifteen, I know I did. Yeah, but that
in perspective, Parker's been going since he couldn't four. Yeah,
he had four fucking memories yet you know.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
He his first time he went was we went to
Disney World and he was just he turned three while
we were there, right, yeah, and so what we went
to Disney World because we wanted to I wanted to
meet tees family, yeah yeah, and you know, and we
wanted to spend some time with them, getting to know them.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
And we did that and that was fun.

Speaker 4 (10:32):
But they've been like every two years since that then,
you know what I mean, he's now fifteen, so they've
been a lot. Yeah, they've been on vacation a lot.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, and so they don't they just think that's a
normal part of life. Yeah, you know, whereas you know
where said about this a million.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Times growing up, girl poor we didn't have that.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
We have food to eat, bitch, let alone go on vacation.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
So yeah, but I would want, yeah, I would want
to invite like the kids friends who wouldn't be able
but with their.

Speaker 3 (11:00):
Parents watching nobody.

Speaker 4 (11:02):
Oh yeah, no a little or you know what if
your parents can't come, fine, I'm hiring a bunch of nannies.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I'm hiring. I'm going to hire more people.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Oh I like that.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, to come and take care of all the children.
Oh god, because girl children can be there. I expect it.
It's Disneyland.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
But don't you dare expect me to like watch these children,
take care of these children. I didn't make the decisions
to have your children. That was you people, Yeah, that
was your bad. Yeah, you're crotch thruit. I was looking
a Facebook memory from years ago and I don't remember
it said like, I wish someone I knew was pregnant

(11:36):
so I could say, oh my god, I'm sorry. And
then when my friends I forget someone, I forget her
name doesn't matter, but she was like, well I'm pregnant,
and I said, oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Well that's how I feel. Okay, you made the choice.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
It's like, no, I know that you do.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
You always have, like you know, you have this parasite
growing inside of you.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, that's really weird. Well, and then I think parents
go real stupid once their children are born. I think
often parents use their fucking minds and think their children
are the best, the cutest and smartest. Look hon't and
I'm like, shut.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
I will tell you that there's a baby's the stupidity
that is just from lack of sleep, you know, sure,
but there is also that ridiculous you know, my baby
is a genius. Your baby's a baby. Your baby, yeah,
I mean, if your baby.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
Is doing calculus, your baby's a genius.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
But if your baby's sat up and said dad, you know,
a week earlier than anybody else, they're genius.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
They're just a baby.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
They're just like kind of the curve a little bit, right.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
It's not but it's a really bad thing for me.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
It's just like, calm.

Speaker 4 (12:37):
Down, yeah, it's it's I also hate it when people
are too precious with like their dogs. Like I have
been in relationships with men, one who had a Wiener
dog and one who had a French bulldog, and every.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Time, oh, look out for their back. Oh their backs
really delicate. Oh. But I'm like, bitch, I've been around
this dog for years.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Uh do you know? I think I know that?

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Like, I just think that's how parents who have babies are. Yeah,
I want you to know, boo.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
I want you to know that Anika has two dogs
that she talks to like they are the most precious
babies are. So she's pretty damn precious with her. Okay,
but I'm not like, yeah, you're not like everybody else, like,
you know, putting a bubble around your dog.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
No, because those dogs get a lot of rough playing.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
Oh my god, they're so funny.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
I'm going to stop and do this right now because
otherwise we're going to be at the end of the show.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
And not in.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Here's our our introduction, Welcome to another week of It
would seem as though the podcast where we're talking about anything,
everything and nothing mostly nothing.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
I'm best and I'm Anaka, and we obviously are starting
out that week talking about money, money and money money. Yeah,
you know, I was going to jump back to something,
but I don't remember what it was.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Who knows, jump back to when we were.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Talking about crotch fruit. I saw the other day her
fruit was crouch goblin Like.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
Okay, yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Well, tell me I'm wrong. But you know the other thing,
you know, going back to the money thing, I would
also like start my own charity. I would help people
who the big things for me would be like aids,
women like women's shelters, and women who've been in abusive relationships,

(14:26):
you know, because those are some big, underserved kind of
communities where so many people and mostly women feel kind
of trapped in abusive relationships because there's nowhere for them
to go. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (14:40):
And it's like.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Because by the time that relationship becomes really abusive, as
a rule, they've been so cut out of everybody else's
lives that they don't feel like they can reach out
to anybody, right, you know, which is what the abusers
do intentionally of course, is you know, separate you from everybody. Yeah,
I too think I would want to do something very

(15:03):
important like that, like starting scholarship funds for queer kids
or underprivileged black children or whatever, or you know, whatever
it is. I would want to serve underprivileged people with scholarships,
with funding, whatever. But I do think there's this one
thing Ts Madison, who is a personality, an actress, producer,
or writer. Everything, she's amazing. I love Ts madisone.

Speaker 4 (15:24):
She started the Starter House and I think it's in
LA But it's a house where trans women can go
and live, especially if they're just getting started. They have
nowhere to go if you're down at It's to keep
them off the streets, keep them out of sex work, right.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
But she's done it a couple times.

Speaker 4 (15:40):
I believe it was like how she owned that she
just donated to like the Los Angeles LGBTQ Center.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Love that.

Speaker 4 (15:46):
I love her, but I would want to do I
love her the same, but I would want to do
similar things. Start houses for queer people to be safe.
I want and I wouldn't want it to be just
like a shelter, because shelters can be scary and dangerous.

Speaker 2 (15:58):
But I would want to start, like, here's.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
An apartment complex for women of domestic violence in their family, right,
because often I can't leave because I have children. I
can't leave, you know what I mean. So like, if
you were able to leave and get to this place,
you could have your own little apartment, right, And maybe
it wouldn't be like top notch everything, but it would
still be like your own place where you could be safe.
I also think, because I'm such a paranoid person, i'd

(16:21):
be hiring security for everything. Yeah, I'd be like there's
security at this building twenty four to seven.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
You know what I mean? Because what if husband finds
out and comes back like that would be me.

Speaker 4 (16:30):
I would be like, no, We're gonna lock this bitch down,
like no one's gonna hurt these people. But I would
want to do as much as I can, Like, obviously
I want to protect nature and animals, so much is
important to me.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
But underprivileged people, you know.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
Woh yeah, because one of the things I thought about
was having a fund that actually helped trans folks pay
for surgery because it's crazy expensive, absolutely, and most insurances
don't cover.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
It, and it's changing.

Speaker 4 (16:57):
Lots of insurances do and you can find them whatever
now for sure, But ten fifteen, twenty years ago, no, ma'am, no, no,
and so yeah, I would want to do lots of
good things with my money. Yeah, and so so now
you know, root for us to win the lottery and
we'll do all of you listeners would get at least
a dollar at least one dollar to make y'allll.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, I would.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
I mean, because I'm not doing crazy shit. I'm not
again not renting private I might rent a private plane,
but I'm not buying private jets.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
I'm not see. I wouldn't rent a private plane. I
would rent like a commercial plane or not rent, but
I would just buy able to seats on it. Sure,
you know, because that way it's a plane that's already
going somewhere, so you're not adding to sure really wow,
call me out fucking well, No, I mean no, you know, honestly.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
But like when I went to Calgary, Alberta.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
Yeah, I was in a plane that I want to say, Well,
when we went from Portland and Vancouver and then then
covered to Calgary. The first plane maybe see the thirty
six people. Okay, so a little small yeah, and then
we got a little bit smaller plane.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
Because you're flying.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
It was just I was just flapping my arms.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
Do they have luxury trains?

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
I think that would be kind of nice.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
That could be cool. But my other things.

Speaker 3 (18:24):
I always thought it'd be fun to like take a
party bus.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I know you're obsession with a fucking party bus. You
would hate it, I'm I tell you, probably because where
are we going to sleep? Well, it's all just oh okay,
so we're just driving it to destination station okay.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
Okay, and stopping like everywhere you feel like stopping.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Okay, you know's and you don't have any limit of
how long it takes you can get there, So I
know you're like, we drove an hour. I'm the rarely
out the driveway, so.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
I know, the older I get, can we just drive
across Canada? Because older I get, the less of America
I want to see, and I've already seen a lot.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Of it there is.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
So my friend John was telling me about a train
ride that he wants to do, which goes I think
it might go all the way, but at least most
the way across Canada. Cool, you know, which, of course,
you have to do in summer, because a lot of
Canada is pretty snowy as well.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Northern Canada is literally just ice right, no one lived
there but and so.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
I speaking of Canada, I just watched this show called
Sullivan's Crossing.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Was it a Christmas show?

Speaker 1 (19:31):
No? Okay no, but it's a very like kind of
hall Murky lifetimey of whatever. But it takes place in
Nova Scotia and it's all set in summertime, and so
it's gorgeous because you're like right on the ocean, you know,
everything is beautiful, green and lots of trees and lots

(19:53):
of whatever. And I did this thing that I do,
which is like, oh my god, I want to go
live there. Yeah, to go to live there for two weeks
in the summer. Yeah, it's nice.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
It's not scorching.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yeah, but it's also not yet freezing, because Nova Scotia
in the winter is yeah, it's ice fridgeted.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yeah, it's just cold, I know, which, you know, I
think sometimes I could go live my cold girl winter
ice queen fantasy, you know, because I do love it.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
I do love the ice and the cold and the snow.
I just don't want to go. I don't want to
drive it ever, but I definitely don't want to drive.
Then immediately I'm like, sorry, I can't.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
My cart all all the tires locked up and it's
butt sell out so it's not going anywhere.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Well, I'm sorry, but if I walked out of my
house in the ice, there's a big chance I'm falling down.

Speaker 4 (20:41):
So well, and snow is different everywhere, right, like snow
here is different than like fluffy or snow sometimes in
the Midwest or whatever.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
But I don't know.

Speaker 4 (20:51):
I do think it's kind of sweet, but I don't
want to do all the work to have to, you know,
like shovel it or moveing.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
What you want is to live in a snow globe.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
Sure, shake it up a little bit.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Where the snow a is not real, but b is
not cold SnO. Yeah, and you could just get one
a leaf blower blowed off the streets.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, I could just blow yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:19):
And half of its glitter.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
I don't I don't care. Okay, that's what I want,
SNAr glarb.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
So not a realistic thing, but why not. Okay, So
now we're just real Well, like I was saying, a lotteries,
so you know whatever. Wow, yeah, but speaking of reality,
tell me ours has been exhausting. Ours has been exhausting.
We our reality in the last week has been very exhausting.

(21:46):
And I know, you know, we've talked an awful lot
on here about my mom and her dementia and how
it's gotten worse and worse and worse and this so
we months ago made the decision to try and find
a memory care facility for my mom, which has been
it has tortured me because you know, one of the

(22:07):
things that she used to say to me all the
time is no matter what, don't put me in a home.
You know, I don't care what happens, just don't put
me in a home. Well, that's all well and good,
but when you know, I'm worried about her wandering away
from the house while we're sleeping or you know what,
and I have alarms. But and that's how we've known

(22:27):
that she's woundered away a few times.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
You know whatever.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
She asked me supervised.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
For hours a day, so and I can't do that
because then I'll never sleep, and I can't. I couldn't
go anywhere without making arrangements or taking her with which
was not also really doable.

Speaker 3 (22:47):
And so this last Wednesday.

Speaker 1 (22:50):
Thursday Thursday, we moved her into a memory care facility.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
And I didn't sleep the night.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Before because I had so much anxiety about it, and
I knew it was going to be bad. I knew
it was going to be really hard and it was
going to be traumatic, and I underestimated about tenfold how
traumatic it would be because we.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
Had talked about it too. We talked about it several times,
but it.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Was the fact of the matter is when we got
her there, and she's of course not understanding what's happening
and why we're there is like kept asking us why
she was being punished and what she had done wrong,
and you know why we were just abandoning her and
she just wanted to go.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Home with her family.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
And of course I'm like in tears and trying to
not be, you know, and then she's crying like a
big My mother is not a crier and not a
she's a crier like at movies and things, yes, happy cry,
which we all do. We're all sappy cries where it's
like we'll sit there in tear up and whatever.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
We're not like the big.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
Boo who it was the Big Boohoo.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
Yeah, And I was devastating and I was telling Kevin
that moment is literal really burned into my brain.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I thought about it for days after it.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
As the kid say, it lives rint free in my head.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
Yeah, bitch, I was like, because every time I thought
about too hard, I'm like, oh my God, like I'm
gonna start crying again because it was so sad.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah, fucked up.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, and then they told you know, it's like so
we went through that, and then we were there with
her for a little while, and then they told us
to just because they got her sidetracked and she was
doing crafts and talking to people. And my mother is
a very social creature. Very you give her people that matter,
she knows them, no, never has no no. It was

(24:44):
like because we everywhere we went when I when I
would take her places, I would lose her because she
would stop and talk to strangers and and find her
all the time, always. And so the fact of the
matter is going through the facility, which is lovely, it's
so nice and it's beautiful. Every single person who works
there was like, oh, hi, Gloria, how are you.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
Today, And she of course just assumed she knows them. Yeah,
you know, and lit up.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
And was all, oh, my god, you it's so good
to see you. What are you doing over there? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (25:14):
Whatever, which was great.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
So once she got sidetracked and was talking to people,
one of the people there was like, you guys, just
need to go. Yeah, do not say goodbye, no, because
it'll just get her upset again.

Speaker 3 (25:25):
So we left and.

Speaker 1 (25:27):
I really felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach,
and I realized it's also not about me, but it
is about me also because this is my mother who's
lived with me for fourteen years, and that's also been weird.
So for fourteen years, my mother has lived in my house,
and a good portion of it. The first several years
she was not real pleasant to have in my house.

Speaker 3 (25:47):
She had been independent for.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
So many years, and then I don't know, something about
moving into my house. It was like she was angry
at me, I know, even though she hated where she
was because it had become unlivable. Her neighbor was an
awful monster who was like shooting at her cats and

(26:08):
her house was full of black mold and whatever. So
I am one of six children, and I'm the only
one who was like, you know, you can come live
with me.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
I have room.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
And by the way, I'm not the only one with room,
but I was the one who was like, okay, you know,
and then built a space for her in our because
we had a big old basement that was just basically
two big open rooms. It was finished it, yeah, it
was finished, but it was not anything fancy and it
was old and.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
There was a bathroom yeah yeah, And.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
So I had it turned into an apartment.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
And great, it's a great apartment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
But I think that she was just, I mean, mad
at life, bitter about having to be living in someone
else's house when she'd been independent for most of her
life and whatever, and so she was not very pleasant
to have around a lot of the time. And then
the last five years we've been dealing with dementia, and

(27:12):
so that's had its own stuff where it's gone back
and forth. There were days where she was just kind
and wonderful and sweet, and then there were days where
she was agitated and you know, not very nice. And
you know, so it was and sometimes I'm days it
was like minutes, you know, there would be whatever. And
so other people who've dealt with this you know what

(27:33):
I'm talking about. And you know, I think an awful
lot about my sister Linda's mom, who.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
I only knew her a little bit.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
I'd seen her small amounts of time in my life,
but she was always super kind to me, and she
was very good to me, and I thought she was
a neat lady. But I know at some point she
had to be moved into a care facility. She had
had a stroke, and we've also talked about that, and
so I know, even though of course it was what

(28:05):
was best for her, that was probably also hard. But
she also I was at a place in her life
where she could still her cognitive abilities. I think we're
still good, you know. I know that she had a
stroke and she couldn't talk in a lot of for
a lot of things, because as I've mentioned before, her
speech no longer was what she wanted it to be,
you know. But I wonder if that was any better

(28:29):
or worse knowing.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
That she was, you know. But as.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
My sister's wife, Shauna, at the time was working at
senior facilities where she was like selling the apartments and stuff.
I think that was her. But she worked at a
really nice upscale, and so I think they got I mean,
it's a really nice place, I'm sure, but it makes
me just wonder if it's any less hard.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
I know, I doubt it.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
I haven't really known anyone else other than my biological
mother's mom, so my maternal grandmother.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
But she was my entire life.

Speaker 4 (29:09):
She was in an old you never knew her out
of she had a stroke the air was born, and
then went in to old folks home, and she her
cognition was great, but her speech wasn't. She could say
like seven words, but she understood what you were talking
about and then when my grandpa Jack, So my my

(29:31):
dad's dad, when he had his heart attack, he was
putting old folks home because he What.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
We learned is he had dementia, and but nobody knew
because he was living when none of us.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Saw him, because he was a horrible human being.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Sure, but he was living his life so routinely that
everything he did every day was exactly the same, so
he wasn't confused or it was like, well this time,
I go to my work, then I go home and
I eat my little TV dinner and Bobby blah, you
know whatever. But when he had a heart attack, because

(30:09):
it deprived his brain of oxygen, his dementia went into
full gear and he was no longer able to live
on his own. And what I remember about that is
he was in a place it was fine. It wasn't
anything fancy.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
It was and I have good memories of it.

Speaker 1 (30:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
The first place he was in was horrible.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, And they only had him there for like a
hot minute and then moved him to another place out
in Forest Grove, which was it was fine, It was nice,
it was okay.

Speaker 3 (30:38):
But what's I think?

Speaker 1 (30:39):
So there's two things part of it, which strikes me funny,
and part of it was sad. The funny part is
that he was the youngest person there, and so all
them old ladies were like because you know, here he
is like twenty years younger been most of them with
a full head of hair.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
I know, And that's a rarity in the old folks had.

Speaker 1 (31:00):
He had beautiful hair and it was silver and wavy
and whatever. But he went from being one of the
most horrible humans on the earth to being this kindly
old man.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
A sweet old man, sweet.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
Old man who had a sense of humor and like
children I know, which if you knew him at all,
was just like, what, who was this guy who I
heard every single racist term ever from because he used
them all freely.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
He hated everyone, and he was mean, and.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
He was a drunk, and he like my sister's wedding
was at our house, and our house wasn't fancy and
it wasn't very big, but he sat in the next
room at the table, drinking, you know, in his sweatshirt
and jeans. Well, his wedding was going on, because that's
he was. But then he became like this sweet kind
of man. And so for me, I mean, this is

(31:56):
all the good portion of it. I got to kind
of rewrite the reallyationship I had with him, because it
was awful. But then towards the end I got to
like have some kind of like I said, rewrite the
story and have like, Okay, he's okay now. And from
what my mother had said, this is who he was
before his dad died and he started drinking, you know,

(32:18):
because his mom died when he was fourteen and his
dad died when he was in his early twenties. I
was crushed underneath the car and so and then he
started heavily drinking and never stopped, and he was the
only tire and right he became very bitter, of course.
And one of the things I've always said is part
of the problem was that he was mad at God.

Speaker 3 (32:40):
And it's pretty hard to clear that up.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
How do you you know? Because if I'm mad at you,
we're going to talk it out whatever. But if you're
mad at God, Mama, what do you do? Both my
parents away, I'm never going to forgive you, I hate
you now or whatever.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
So I know you know about Grandpa Jack.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
I only knew the horror stories of him when he
was married to Grandma and you guys were growing up.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
That's what I remember.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
And then when I was a little kid, I would
be taken to his house by my biological father, and
you know, he would take us to like the steel
mill where he worked and show us shit, and in
his house he'd be smoking like chainsmoking cigarettes and drinking
PEPSI and Jack Daniels. Yeah, but that's really all I remember.

(33:25):
I don't ever remember him anywhere else outside of the
steel mill and his home. But when he had his
heart attack, I was like he was fun and kind,
and I was.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Like weird like me, yeah, and I and I had
no Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
I was like indifferent towards him, right because I didn't
know him.

Speaker 4 (33:44):
But then when he had his little his little hiccup, Yeah,
he became so funny. And I remember walking into the
hospital to see him and wearing a Gi Joe shirt.
It says Gi Joe across the shirt and it's my
biological father, my stepmom and grandma and I walk in
and do you know who this is? He's like, sure,
I do, of course I do. That's Gi Joe.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
And he right, he says it right there.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
I know, and they're all like, no, like concerned he's like, no,
I know, like I know that's not who she is,
right or whatever.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
But it was just funny that he was like, of
course I do. It's Gi Joe.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Like most of the things that amazed me about all
of that is so when he was moved to.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Or right care, he thought it was nineteen sixty five.

Speaker 1 (34:32):
He thought he and my mother were just married, hadn't
had kids yet.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
You know whatever.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
They lived in Beaverton, which is where we lived then,
and then he met his children or re met his children,
who were grown men with grandchildren. Yeah, And somehow his
brain was like, okay, that works.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Yeah, I'm in nineteen.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
Sixty five and I haven't had children yet, but I
have grown children with grandchildren.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
And somehow it's like the brain is an amazing thing
to me, because the brain just was like.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Okay, I said, we're going to rewire it this way. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
Right, So it's still nineteen sixty five, but somehow I
have you know, forty something year old kids.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
It's crazy, you know, yeah, it's wild.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Its wild.

Speaker 4 (35:15):
Well, and it started happening with Grandma right where she
just thinks all time periods are the same, like you're
stuck in this time bubble where like she thinks your
generation and my generation are the same and that we
were raised together, right right, Well, you remember when we
lived in Yamhill, And I'm like, no, I never lived
in ym Hill what do you mean, you know, moved
to school.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
There, but yeah, I never lived there.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Well, and I think part of that confusion really was
that you live with her, and she raised you for
a while, and so you just are one of her kids.
So obviously you're the same generation as her kids who
are old as hell. Yeah, because I know. I'm I
was twenty almost twenty.

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Seven when you were born. Yeah, and so right.

Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, not even close the same generation, no, no, but yes,
I remember her.

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Going, well you remember when that happened.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
It's like, well, she wasn't born for another twenty or
so years, but so she.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Probably did as a disembodied spirit about watching all of you. Yes,
I remember totally.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
But the part so that was, you know, talking about
the good part of whatever his dementia, and but the
sad part to me was the part I feared most
with my mother was every time she went to visit him,
and she visited him a lot. He would always say,
can I go home now? Will you please take me home?

(36:34):
You know, and heartbreaking and so now apparently so my
mother's been there, like I said, since Thursday, so not
quite a week. And that's you know, like at the
end of the day, she's you know, socializing dream the
day a lot of all these people, having a great time,
you know, getting sitting down, having meals with them and
talking with them. But in the evening time, it's like

(36:56):
looking for an exit and going, I need to go home.
I want to go home. And so we're gonna go
tonight and have dinner with her, when this will be
the first time we've seen her, because they told us
stay away for several days so she can get acclimated,
you know, and get accustomed to a new place and
a new new you know, schedule, you know and whatever.

(37:19):
So of course I'm stressed out that that's agree, it's.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
The whole thing.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
We're gonna sit there and she's gonna be sad and
you know, take me home. And I know my brother
went to visit her on Monday, and apparently they had
a great time until it was time.

Speaker 4 (37:33):
But she but you know what I mean, half the
time though she could have just seen Bryce and then
been like I didn't see him, So it's I don't Yeah,
I think it is. It gonna be different when we
show up. Should we go back this soon?

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (37:46):
Yeah? So I don't see.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, I'll see.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
So that's been a whole that's been our week.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
So it's been very emotional, and you know, I you
know again, I'm not trying to make it all about me,
but I can only talk about my girl.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
It would seem as though this is our podcast. So
guess what if it's about you, it's about you, bitch well.

Speaker 1 (38:08):
And there are parts with it or about me because
it's hard girl, because I'm the I'm the primary caregiver
of my mother. I'm the one who makes the decisions.
I'm the one who cuts the checks to the place.
I'm the one who pays her bills, you know all
the things, and so it is about me.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
You're on all of her accounts. You take her to
the doctor, like yeah, yeah, and have for years.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
How is that going to go? Do they take her to?

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Know? They actually have a doctor on staff who or
a doctor I don't know if he but he comes
there and so they if the family has signed the
waivers and stuff. They just send you to the doctor
that's in house. Love it and it's like great, yeah,
and so yeah, I won't have to drive her across

(38:52):
town to a doctor who she One of the things
is interesting to me about her brain, and it's probably
common with people with dementia. Maybe I don't know, because
I've talked to I have a nice support system of
people who have gone through it and all had different outcomes,
you know, all had different experiences, but it's all the

(39:15):
umbrella of the same experience, right. But the way that
her brain one of the things I find interesting is
she will get a narrative about somebody or something and
that's what she remembers.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
You know, if she remembers it and it was part
of my gen that's the narrative and it was part
of that generation. She was there for everything. So like
the narrative about my brother who was visitor on Monday,
is that he's always late and she never sees it.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Now she's been seeing him every week for months and
he's usually you know, up to fifteen minutes late, sometimes
half hour on a vercasion, but a little late. But
that's his narrative always, whereas my brother who's really always late,
you know, and half the time cancels. Yeah, he gets
a told. He's you know, he's great.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
He's the best around, you know.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Yeah, So it is interesting to me how that she
won't remember my name some days. No, no, but you know,
she'll remember my narrative, which is apparently that I'm mean.
You're the meanest, because you know, I'm the one who's
always here. I'm the one who will have to say
no to things.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Who will you became her parent, right, I.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Became her parents, and so I'm apparently a mean parent.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Yeah, I've met you, but it's become very much. She's
now the kid and you're the parent. And she's not
just a kid, she's a toddler. The pouting, the your.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Mean to me? Why are always so mean to me
about everything?

Speaker 1 (40:46):
You're mean?

Speaker 4 (40:46):
Like that's a very little kid thing to say, right,
I don't want it, and you know I want to
do this, like yeah, I you know.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
And then all the issues that come up being.

Speaker 4 (40:56):
Elderly or being very young, incontinence, you know, like peeing
your pants, like all that shit happens. Yeah, it's a
very interesting thing to see her become a toddler. And
I think it's been such a mind fuck, right because
the last several years, obviously we've seen her decline pretty rapidly.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
And yes, well and even more so several months ago
she had a UTI.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Oh yes, and that ruined her.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
It did because up until that point she was still
going out walking every day, yep, and was you know,
she's still her memory was garbage, but she could walk
a mile up to the burger king in back and
sit there, hit chat with folks for hours, but always
come home yep.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
And of course we had a tracker on her, of course.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
But once she had that UTI, ended up in the hospital.
She her mobility turned to garbage. Her brain went from
like if she was at you know, five, memory was
she had dropped out like a two yeah. Yeah, and
instead of being on a like, uh a bigger memory,

(42:05):
what I refer to is like she was on like
a now a two minute memory loop. If you said
something to her, she two minutes later wouldn't remember that
you said it and would often tell you never told
her something or I never had that. But it was
like just that thing. Having a UTI fucked.

Speaker 4 (42:22):
Her up, fed her because she became real shaky and
like I'm very fragile all the time, a shaky, fragile woman,
you know, like the old people you see shaking thoughts.

Speaker 2 (42:31):
I was like, what is happening.

Speaker 3 (42:32):
Because that was never her?

Speaker 4 (42:34):
No, And I think so much of this change, like
in retrospect looking at her, like when you were it
wasn't around. But when I was being raised, she was sharp, active,
you know what I mean. She worked, she worked out,
was very independent, very very It is like, and I
know this is what happens, duh. I know, people get
older and you know, personalities changed, minds become feeble whatever,

(42:57):
But like it is so weird. Grandma was such a
stroke independent woman. I mean she was married three times
by nineteen sixty five. I say shit like that all
the time. She couldn't even have her own credit card, bitch, no,
you know what I mean, Like she did so much.
She raised all of her kids alone. Her father was
a piece of shit, you know what I mean, Like,
there are so many things she did, and she was

(43:18):
a hot little number that everyone swooned after. And many
times she had to you know, once in a while,
she had to stab a motherfucker in the leg with
a you know whatever she had on her. But so
it is sometimes it's really hard for my brain to
grasp but for the same person that that woman is
my grandmother.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
One of my favorite stories of her teenage years is
that she went up to Montana to.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
Visit her family.

Speaker 1 (43:43):
Yeah, and one of her cousins had a brand new
car and she asked him if she could drive his car,
and he's like, can you drive? And she was like,
of course I can drive. And he's like, if you
watch my car, I'll let you drive it. Or did
he say do you have a license or are you
old enough to drive? Because she was fourteen, but she

(44:06):
was all, of course I can drive. And she knew
how to drive, sure, but was not license. Nope, you know,
and whatever was not old enough, But she drove his
little convertible somewhere. You know. It was like And it
wasn't until one of the other cousins said, you know,
she's only fourteen, you.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Know, she's a literal infant.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Yeah, but I love that she was that person. It
was like, no, I was like, kid, duh, yeah, of course,
you know, and that was who raised me, you know,
was misindependent.

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yeah, well like, oh god, what was I gonna.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Say she didn't get her license until she was in
her thirties. Yeah, that's banana. And she was driving the
whole time.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
She only got her license because she had to, Yeah,
because she had six children, right right, Yeah, And she
told this story for years after that it was my fault,
probably because I had forgotten my homework.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
God damn it, which you.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Know whatever, And I called and I said, could you
this is due to could you please bring it to
the school. Now, we lived what we would call outside
of town Carlton, which Carlton by its very nature, if
you stretch it from in the end, is what.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Two miles yeah about you know.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
I'm like literally from you know, down out the outskirts
to whatever the other outskirts on the other end, maybe
two miles.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
And so.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
She hopped in the car in her pajamas and was
going to drive to the school, but then just have
them send me out to the car to get you
know whatever. Well, the police had set up a roadblock
for whatever reason. I don't know who they were looking
for or what they were looking for, because that's Carlton.
That doesn't happen, right, And so they stop her, and

(45:48):
of course she doesn't have a license.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
She's like, oh, I forgot it, and.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
She's in her pajama. Scandalous for the sexties, bitch seventy
seven because I was in probably late elementary school or
at least middle school.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Age, you know whatever.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
And so then they gave her a ticket and said,
if you get your license, then you know you can,
We'll have this ticket thrown out.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
So then she had to get her license, which.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Probably you know, costa nickel back then, you know whatever.
You didn't have to have insurance, I know, because it
wasn't until I was driving then it became mandatory that
you have insurance.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
That's isn't that wild?

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah? I know. Grandma is just a little badass, you know.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
And so another story I'm going to tell you, which
I'm sure you've heard this story because we.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
Were talking the other day about that.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
With dementia, she is now a few times become violent,
you know, and gone to like swing on somebody or
done whatever. And that was also not her. However, one time,
when I was probably eighth grade, seventh eighth grade, which

(47:02):
made my older sister, who is three years older than me,
so she would have in high school, she got ambush
played some girls up at the city park who attacked her,
and uh, where were you? Shut up? All right? I
tried to help him, was thrown up into. I was

(47:26):
thrown into anyway. But the girl who had started to
fight her older sister was there like egging it on
and whatever. Well, of course my mother can't do anything
to the teenagers.

Speaker 3 (47:42):
Well she's a grown ass woman.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Wind this fight. And so she's up at the park
and the older sister who's sitting on the ground and like,
you know, totally allowing it to happen. Yeah, she walked.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Over to her and she was like, stand up because
I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
Whoop your ass and I'm gonna beat the shut her
at her tallest was five foot one. Yeah, that was,
you know, this big woman straight up stretchers.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
Find out was maybe five foot one.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
This girl was terrified, would not stand because she knew
she gonna get her as Yeah, and it was all
I love that fucked with somebody's baby first all, you
threw me in a tree beach. I know you love
that story.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
I wonder you're in your narrative of it if I've
actually like flown up.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Yes, I just see you coming like trying to hit
and then swings you up into a tree, and.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
That's how it was at her.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:41):
Well, it's always like the stories that aren't necessarily supposed
to be funny, but like Grandma running away when.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
She was a kid.

Speaker 4 (48:49):
It used to tickle me fucking pink because she went
home and no one had looked for it. And as
a kid, I thought that was so funny, And as
an adult, I'm like, what a sad childhood?

Speaker 2 (48:58):
Right, you know?

Speaker 3 (48:59):
Right?

Speaker 4 (49:00):
Yeah, But one of my favorite stories is Grandma is stabbing.
I think it was her cousin in the leg, someone
who was trying to get fresh with her, which I'm like,
ewsn't gross. Yeah, but stabbed it in the leg with
like a hat pin, I think. So yeah, I'm like,
all right, bitch, she's she can defend herself.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
She got it.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
And if you maybe don't know what a hat pin is,
it's exactly what it sounds like. It's a long like
a long needle, but it's probably about a foot long because.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
You put it through a hat to keep your hat
on your head.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Right, And because of that story, when I was a
young adult, I often wore one in my shirt, ok,
because they have little stoppers for the outside of them.
It looked like an earring back, but it was solid
on the end so you could put it there so
that you wouldn't poke yourself. I love, but if you
pulled that end off and you have a weapon, daggle

(49:54):
And I literally wore one on my jacket lapel.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Yeah, it was like, yeah, I was, I will gouge
your eyes out home and.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
It will fucking hurt.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Yeah, because they're also very sturdy, because they're meant to
go through a.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
Yeah and like you know, through your hair too, right
to hold the hat on.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, but yes, she's Yeah, now
we know where Annika got her step Grandma was.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Just a little badass and like you know, getting bit
by a horse and hitting it between the eyes.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
So let go.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
I love it, Like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
You know?

Speaker 2 (50:28):
She was just crazy cool, you know, she was just
like a different woman. March beat Brown Drum.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
One of the stories that as a young person, I mean,
because I was part of this story, I always thought
it was kind of hilarious. As an adult, I realized
how fucked up this story was. So we lived way
the funk out in the country, and so you know,
if you're around the country, there's no streets, there's no nothing. Well,

(50:58):
my stepfather was very drunk and very abusive, and he
was usually just verbally abusive, but abusive, and I think
there was always the fear that there was going to
be some physical abuse. But one night he was really
raging about something and so my mother gathered us all up,

(51:19):
took us out the house.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
We're going on an adventure.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
We were going on an adventure, right, She took us
out the house and we were like going on this
where we were running and hiding, and you know, like
she made it.

Speaker 3 (51:29):
A game, so it wasn't scary. It was funny, you know.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
And it's like at one point, we're hiding under a
bridge because she saw his car coming and we're literally
hiding under a bridge, gig trying to because she was
like made it like the story of the Billy Goats gruff.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
I was like, oh, the controls going over.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
The bridge kind of thing. And I was probably six
or seven, but I remember thinking, this is kind of
like a great adventure, you know, it's like a story. Yeah,
as an adult, I see how fucked up that is,
but as a kid, she made it so that we
were not scared.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
This scary thing that.

Speaker 4 (52:10):
Was I Whatever Grandma had in her to be such
like a nurturing human being is crazy because the fact
that she was like, he's dangerous and drunk and scary,
and I have six children.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
I need to get them out of.

Speaker 4 (52:22):
Here, but without screaming and crying and being afraid. The
fact that she was like, it's an adventure where I
think it's quick and it's smart, and devastating the fact
that she had to do that though, like she had
to or traumatize all of you, right, you know, And.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I know I wasn't traumatized. Yeah, cause again I was
maybe just at that sweet spot age wise where I
didn't see the the you know, calamity that could have been. Sure.
I saw, oh my god, this is funny and we're
out smarting him. Yeah, exactly fun. That's fun, you know.
And And like every courl say, I also, growing up
always thought that my stepfather was an idiot because he

(52:58):
would do just do, would say dumb shit, yeah right,
And so I never found him to be scared.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
So would he just be passed out someplace?

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yeah, you know, And when he was passed out drunk,
he was fucking hilarious because he talked in his sleep
and he would say dumb shit that didn't make any sense,
of course not. And it'd be like, you know, talking
about you know, get that thing away from maybe like
an animal. It would be what you're passed out on

(53:26):
the ground, laying outside on the porch or whatever, sir,
you know, but I would say, just random shit, and
we always fund it hilarious.

Speaker 3 (53:34):
Now, if it was in this.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Day and age, of course we would be recording it, yeah,
of course. But to record it back then, we'd had
to go out there with our little cassette player, oh
my god, which we were too busy holding up to
the radio to record songs on the radio.

Speaker 4 (53:50):
Yes, of course, yeah, because it was the seventies. Who
was going to record their drunk stupid step dad.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Well, you know that's the thing is nowadays that's common
right when somebody does something stupid or.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Somebody's drunk on.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Anesthesia anesthesia, abestesia, anesthesia.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
Oh, she's my favorite, trying not.

Speaker 6 (54:12):
Anesthesia anyway, you know, that's become very commonplace to record
because it's hilarious and whatever.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
Trust me, there would have been some times if we'd
have recorded that ship. It would have played on forever,
it would have become an iconic the day.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
I know, what a crazy time.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
But yeah, I mean the fact that my mother raised
six kids mostly on her own because after first husband,
first husband, once she left him in Mississippi, she never
heard from him again.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
Crazy.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
My father when he when she was pregnant with me,
so I was baby number three from him, the child
number four total h she didn't hear from him for
the next fourteen years Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
So he never sent like money for child.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
So nothing. And then Jack, who was the last husband
was She stayed married to him until I was a teenager,
but like fifteen years or something. But he was gone often. Yeah,
he would like go, you know, disappear for months at
a time.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Crazy. Yeah, not come home at all.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Yeah, weird.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
I can't imagine just disappearing.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
He was usually shocking up with somebody else, but she
would take him back because she needed the financial support
for us. But everything else she's dead on her own.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Yeah. So she was a pretty badass woman.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
So of course that just makes everything that's been going on,
you know, you know, because I mean, I also I
feel pretty lucky that I had a really good relationship
with my mother growing up. We were very close. You know,
we did lots of shit together. We used to go
like at least once a week we would go out
and go to a movie or go shop and go

(56:02):
do fun things.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
How to go to a restaurant. And I don't know
that I've.

Speaker 1 (56:07):
Ever told this story on here. I have ever told
a story about when Brian was passed out in the.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
Bathroom, Yes you have.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Okay, that's probably one of my favorites. And I where
if I've told it, I won't tell it again.

Speaker 4 (56:18):
But your ex passed out and Grandma goes in bathroom
and said she didn't poke him with a stick to
see if he was dead.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
That one.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was like, I love that story.

Speaker 1 (56:27):
So I feel very blessed that I had, you know,
a strong, smart mother growing up, and it was my
life perfect. No, No, was there stuff that happened, yes,
but for the most part, I was pretty lucky.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
So agreed, you know.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
And then you know, she rescued Anika from my horrible
brother yeah and his horrible wife.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:55):
And before Graandma even like filed for custody. I was
at her house like every day for years, you know
what I mean, because it was like being a hobble
at my biology. Well, we lived a house away, so
it was like I could see each it wasn't far.
But yeah, Grandma raised me for the most part. Yeah,
b je joined, I didn't do that shit. Yeah no,

(57:16):
yeah anyway.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Yeah, so, I mean I realized we spent this show
talking about my mother Bunny and gray money and my
mother n money something she never had, I know.

Speaker 4 (57:27):
Well, and she's always broke, always been so broke, always
broke her broke.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
That would be you know, we talked earlier about the
narrative and that is one of the narratives that she's
stuck with forever.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
That was that she didn't have any money.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Never had, never will never had.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
You know. It's like and by this point in her
life she had a nice little save as account with
a good little chunk of I mean it wasn't she
wasn't rich, but you no, no, no, but you know,
she had you know, about twenty grand in there, so
she wasn't destitute, but she also had her for a
long time, had her hidden moneyl you know, her little
freezer money.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
Girl, cold hard cash.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
Yeah. So anyway, yeah, you know we're gonna wrap it
up right there, and I need.

Speaker 2 (58:11):
A nap before my early dinner tonight.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
I know we're gonna go have dinner with her, and
dinner is at four thirty. I know. I can't wait.
I know thirty. We'll be home by six. I got early.
Not because we so old, girl, Gavin, I like.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
To be in bed by eight. Yeah, because I'm old.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
I know, sweetheart.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
Anyway, I shut up, and this day all right? Yeah,
because she needs a nap now.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
I need it, and I need it now.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
I mean it is, what ten thirty in the morning,
and she's like, I need to go back to bed.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
Yeah, I've been awaiting for like three hours.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
I know. I know, honey, you actually got up, put
on clothes and left the house.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (58:52):
All my clothes look great and we're Pokemon with the
jama pants without money, no bra, and then just a
flannel over my head.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
I'm looking great.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
I would like to go completely off topic for just
a second.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
What topic?

Speaker 3 (59:03):
I dated this guy?

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Who? Uh? Now, I'm going to tell you that I'm
usually the last person if someone's like flirting with me,
I'm the last one to know because I don't ever
think it's I don't ever think it's happening. So I
was dating this guy and he would he would call
me and we talk, but he would ask me what
I was wearing, and I didn't get it's like what
are you wearing? Like it was going to turn into

(59:26):
like phone sex or something because I was like, I'd
never had done that, and so but I'd be like,
what am I wearing? I was like, usually like cleaning
house or something, so obviously jeans, you know whatever, wearing
later and pasties. Then when it finally clicked into my

(59:46):
slow brain, oh.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Oh you're trying to flirt with me.

Speaker 1 (59:50):
Oh, you're trying to get sexy on the phone. Whatever.
So the last time he was like, nothing, I'm just
wearing like six inch heels and read And it was like,
I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
You never assume anyone's sporting with you, and I assume
everyone's always starting with me, right, I assume everyone always
has a crush on me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
Yeah, well they know we're very different. We're very different,
and yes we are all right. So we do this
every week, and we will do this again next week
so you can find us and whatever. And I would
like you to if you're listening, if you want to
send us a little email, tell us.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
What you would do with all your money.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Yeah, if you had sudden suddenly, tell us what you
would do with it, because I'm really curious about that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
But in the meantime, where would they send that email?

Speaker 4 (01:00:41):
In two it would seem as though at gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
And we'll read your stuff right here on the air,
or if.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
You yeah, unless you put it at the very top.
Please do not read this on air.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
That has to be the first line.

Speaker 4 (01:00:55):
Yeah, it can't be a PS free script a post great,
right right right right?

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Anyhow, on that note, on that note, we got to
get out of here because we got just so many
things to do, so many naps to take.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
All right, we'll see you later, bye bye.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
It would be so as though