July 11, 2025 • 18 mins
Welcome to Healing Out Loud—the podcast where we unpack emotional baggage, drag it into the light, and maybe even laugh about it (because crying in the car isn’t a personality trait). This show is raw, real, and totally unfiltered. Expect heartfelt moments, honest reflections, and yeah… the occasional stumble over a word or two—because healing doesn’t come with a script, and neither do we.
We talk about accountability without shame, forgiveness without the fluff, releasing hurt (without tossing it back like a boomerang), and the very real strength in asking for help. Whether you’re deep in your healing era or just trying to keep your peace while people test you—this space is for you.
So grab a snack, a journal, and maybe a tissue (for the tears or the laughs)—and come heal with us, out loud and unapologetically imperfect.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/it-s-courtney--4889950/support.
We talk about accountability without shame, forgiveness without the fluff, releasing hurt (without tossing it back like a boomerang), and the very real strength in asking for help. Whether you’re deep in your healing era or just trying to keep your peace while people test you—this space is for you.
So grab a snack, a journal, and maybe a tissue (for the tears or the laughs)—and come heal with us, out loud and unapologetically imperfect.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/it-s-courtney--4889950/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, y'all, it's Courtney. Welcome back, well, come back, well
come back, Hey, my loves. Happy Friday. I hope y'all
are have an amazing day. I hope y'all had a
great week week. And I know y'all looking forward to
the weekend, because Lord knows I am and I was,
and I promise I don't have really too much to do.
(00:22):
I'm' hang out this weekend. But of course I'm sending
in my car as I always do when I talk
to y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
What else.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I turned forty one Tuesday. Hey, happy birthday to me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your girl feels great, feel amazing. I didn't do much
on my birthday. I worked half a day and I
chilled and hung out with my baby. That's what I
did for my birthday. But any fool, let's jump right
(00:54):
on in. So I'm standing in my car and I
was just thinking. You know, I was talking to my
mama about this situation, and she was letting me know
that someone was going on with her family, friends and whatnot.
And she was saying, how this person is so mad,
and you know, they so angry and they stay in trouble,
like they always into something right, always into something. And
(01:15):
you know, this is a young person. He is what
we call those white ends. Okay, he only like twenty one,
twenty two, but you know, I've known him. I've known
him a who his whole life. But you know, he's
an adult now and he's so angry. He's angry at
the world. And and I get it. You can't even
ready to be angry. Like your hand, the the the
(01:36):
the cards that were built to you. It was not
a a great deck of cards. I can honestly say
that I saw it from the inside, in the outside,
but I understand that. But as I'm sitting here thinking,
like you know, like I said, he wants to blame everybody,
he wants to, but there is no accountability or responsibility
on his own right. Like I said, he young, he's
(01:57):
twenty one, twenty two years old, so he angry, and
he's a black male. So I get it. I get
all those things. But I guess my big concern is
now you're grown.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Now you're grown, and now at this point, I say
anything between seventeen up until now, like you have to
take a step back and take some type of accountability
of what's been going on in your life, because, like
I said, you're grown now, so what are we doing here?
You can't keep blaming people for things that affected you.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In the past.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Okay, like you can't eat blaming these people, the people
that you don't even talk to a see, like, these
people are not they are not causing this distress or
this chaos in your life. You are causing these things.
It's all you. So he gonna have to take the
step back. But on top of that, he's gonna have
to start taking accountability. He's gonna have to start taking responsibility.
(02:57):
He's gonna have to learn to move different. But the
first and foremost thing, he's gonna have to give it
to God. He gonna have to pray. He gonna have
to get on his knees or yell out whatever he
needs to do to release. He gonna have to do
that at some point because he's gonna have to be
able to forget. He's gonna need to forgive these people
that hurt him, who didn't protect him, who didn't see him,
(03:18):
who didn't hear him, none of those things, and not
him forgiving them on their behalf, or to you know,
accept something from them or you know whatever I'm trying
to say, y'all roll with me. But he is gonna
have to forgive them for hisself, for his peace, for
(03:39):
his sanity, for his clarity, for his closure. He's gonna
have to forgive them. And that's just what that's gonna
have to be in order to let go a sept
that anger and that resentment and just all that heal
and chaos. My boy, you gonna have to you gotta
forgive him. You're gonna have to go to God with
this one. You're gonna have to go to God with
this one. And I've done nothing but pray for this
(04:01):
young man, wishing him the best, praying for him to
for life to turn around for him. And I know
I'm not just speaking to him. I know I'm not
just speaking to him. I know that I'm speaking to
somebody else who may be going through a similar situation.
They may have a child, they may have a brother.
Hell it could be them that's going through stuff and
acting out and mad at the world.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And it's everybody fought but my own.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
But at the tru the the truth of the matter,
if you are under the age of eighteen, I can
understand you being angry, and I promise you I'm not
saying feel not saying you shouldn't feel how you feel,
because please feel how you feel. I'm the last person
to tell you how you shouldn't feel, okay, cause I
have all the feels in the world. But eighteen and younger,
(04:50):
you're still being raised by an adult, right. But once
you become eighteen and grown, like you have to really
start taking a step back, like looking in the mirror,
check your reflection, because some ain't right. Because you're grown
at this point. You take care of yourself, You work,
you take care of your bills, you feed yourself, you
do all the things that grown up does, and you
(05:12):
still having hell in you, and you still having all
this cast around you. I feel like, then the problem
is you. You can't keep blaming these people.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
If you don't let that hurt go, if you don't
let that pain go, if you don't release that drama
and that chaos and that heir in your life, you
better because you can't keep blaming folks. Y'all. We can't
keep blaming folks. It's like me going to rob a
fucking bank. Ain't nobody told me to go do that.
I can't blame it on Maria Seuer.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Joe.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I came up with that damn idea, you know what
I mean. I decided to do that because I just
couldn't take it anymore. I ain't saying I'm doing that, y'all.
I promised I wouldn't there it I work. But I'm saying,
no one convinced me. No one convinced me to do
these things. So if I go and actually do this
and I fuck around and get locked up, that falls
(06:07):
on me because I was by myself. I had this plan,
this pole idea.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
That's for me.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I can't go blame my mama. I can't go blame
my friends. That was my stupid ass idea. So that's
my thing. I'm grown. So I'm not gonna do something
or even at this big age, I'm not gonna let
nobody can vis me do something that's stupid at all,
you know what I mean. So we can't keep blaming
people for things that they did a million years ago,
(06:32):
Like we can't keep doing that, Like we really have
to wake up and realize, like I am the cause
of this problem right now. I'm the reason that things
in my life are not falling into place. I'm the
reason that my life is falling apart, you know what
I mean, Like I am causing all this chaos.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I am choosing to not let people love me and
to let me in.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I choose to walk around angry, upset, mad at the
world that falls on me. It falls on me. And
that's why it's so, so, so very important to take
a step back to find you a person or a
matter of fact, don't even find no person, baby, don't
find a person.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Pick up that Bible.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
If you don't have a Bible, follow on the knees
to cry it out.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
But talk to God. Talk to God.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I ain't saying it's gonna change over not but talk
to God. Because you don't gotta be that way. You
don't gotta be that way. The worst thing you can
keep doing with your life is walking around angry at
the world.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That is the worst thing you can do with your life.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Why you walking around angry like life is short enough,
Like it's enough shit going on now?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Why not try to live.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Peacefully, happy, actually find things that you actually like to
do in life and enjoy and surround yourself with some
great people.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
You know what, I mean, like, I get it.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I have been angry, I have been upset, I have
been mad, and I have been m myself to have
been the person to say, well, so and so did this,
and so and so.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Did it, and to day, no, I did it.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That was all on me. Nobody convinced me. I had
that idea, you know what I mean. And I realized
that I needed help. I realized I needed help. I
needed help, and I cried out for it. I cried
out for y'all. I cried out for it, and I
cried out to God. And I started reading my Bible,
and I started reading my devotions that I get every morning.
(08:34):
And I started to think and unpacked, like what is
wrong with me? Like why am I walking around causing
all this chaos and this the stress? Like I'm never happy,
Like I'm always angry. I catch your attitude with somebody.
I look at somebody crazy and they could do absolutely
nothing to me, right, absolutely nothing to me. But I'm angry.
(08:55):
And now I'm at a point in my life that
I gotta figure this shit out. I gotta figure this, y'all.
I don't want to wake up angry every day. I
don't want to be mad at people because like I
actually like people. I actually like people, yet I do
I do I like people, so I want to be
able to go around.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
People will get energy.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I don't want people not want to hang around me
because I got bad energy.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And honestly, I feel like I lost a few people
because of my.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Energy, right, And I know, and I can also say
I lost a few people because they just were.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Now no longer meant for me. They were not good.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
They could not go on the journey in the path
that I was going to next, right, And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And I understood that and accepted it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
But like I said, I had too kind of I
reached out to God, you know, I started praying, I
started reading a word, and I started meeting people that
were kind of on the same path as I was,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
They were going in this.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
New healing journey, like they were healing and they were
trying to find peace, enjoying happiness within themselves, you know
what I mean, Like that is what they they were
trying to do because they were tired of waking up angry,
they were tired of being mad, like all of those things.
And I started to meet people like that, and I
met people, and I met more and more people, and
(10:13):
then people would tell me, Hey, I have a therapist
or I have this and I have that, and you know,
I thought about it and it crossed my mind. And
you know, growing up in the black community, they're so
against you shouldn't. You don't need a therapist. You don't
got nothing you need to talk about. You just living what.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I got a lot of stuff that I need to
talk about. What do you mean? What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
But like I said, I kept hearing it, and I kept,
you know, like, why not why not go talk to
this stranger.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Who does not know me? Who do who does not
know me? And have a conversation. What's the harmon it?
What's the harmony? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Because this person I know is gonna listen to me,
they gonna take into what I'm saying. They're gonna take
that and consider they gonna understand that. Okay, she needed
to come and talk to me. She needed to release
all of this pain and this trauma and just be
(11:12):
the best version that she could be or he could be,
you know what I mean. So long story short, I
got the help that I needed, But I know I
needed to change my life. I knew I needed to
stop being angry people, you know, I just I knew
I needed. I wanted to live a happy life, a
peaceful life, and I'm so thankful that I did because
(11:33):
the state that I am in my life, I'm at peace, y'all.
I am happy, y'all. I have fun by myself. Okay,
I have fun by myself. I do, I do. I
love me, and don't get me wrong, I have fun
with other people, so you know what I mean. But
one thing about it, two things for show. You have
to be able to handle yourself all the time. Because
(11:56):
you are the you spend the most time with yourself. Okay,
I'm gonna repeat that one more time. You spend the
most time with yourself, So you have to be able
to live in this body happily, comfortably happy, whatever that
looks like for you, like, you have to do that.
And I knew I wanted to do that. I wanted
to be at peace. When I wake up in the morning,
(12:17):
I want to do peace.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Come.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Don't get me wrong, I have some Some mornings are
shitty as hell, right, they are shitty as hell, just
because I may not have got no resk. But my
child ain't moving, like I'm telling the mood trying to
get ready for school or whatever the case may be. Like,
I still have those days sometimes, but I don't have
as many days like that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Okay I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just don't because I refuse to wake up angry
and have an attitude. Because when you wake up in
the morning and if you having a crabby mood, that's
such your tone. You gonna have a crabby mood most
of the day. If you in pain and you know
you can't help it. Sometimes you can't help paying, but
you gonna pay in paint all day, Like you're not
(13:00):
gonna be happy. So I choose to have a great
day every day. I choose to have a great day
every day. So that's why I I When I get
up in the morning, I try not to go on
social media.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
First.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I make sure that I go to my Bible app
and don't Like I said, don't get me wrong, I
try not to go to social media all the time,
but I do make sure I go to my Bible app.
I get that word. I make sure my my soul
is getting feed. I make sure that I'm in the
right hand space. Like all of that, like because I
choose to have a good day. I choose to have
a good day because I, like I said, I've worked
(13:32):
so hard to get to this place of my life
that it's peaceful, that it's.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Fun, Like I am enjoying my life, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I want everybody to enjoy their life, you know,
like I want everybody to enjoy it, whether it's you
by yourself or what you or whether you with your
family or your friends, whatever, like we gotta do that.
But also to those who are holding pain and anger
and resentment and you just can't help it, you can
(14:03):
help it. You can change that, you can fix that,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
But you probably need help. I'm just gonna be honest.
You probably needs melk.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Whether it's talking to somebody, whether it's writing it down,
whether it's rapping or sing whatever form of therapy that
is gonna help you to release that. If you're not
comfortable to go talk to a therapist or even God
at the moment, My prayers that you will be comfortable.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
To have that relationship with God. But I understand, I
get it. I don't do no judging over here, but
you need to release it. You need to release it.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You need to tate responsibility that you too had something
to do with w how shit is you know playing
out in your life right. You need to release it,
You need to let it go on. But most important,
you need to forgive these people. Not for yourself, I'm
gonna say, excuse me, Yeah, definitely for yourself, not for them,
but for you so you can feel better, so you
you can move better, so you can have clarity. You know,
(15:03):
you know exactly where you going once you move past it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And I ain't saying it's.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Gonna be easy, cause it's not. It's definitely not. Like
this is a challenge every single day. This is a
challenge every single day, choosing to be good, choosing to
be positive, you know what I mean, choosing to be
open and just be calm, you know what I mean.
Like it's a challenge every single day, but doing it
(15:29):
and putting in the work, I promise you it's so worthwhile.
It's so worthwhile because you just you move different, you
talk different, You you just you different.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Like you just feel good, and I.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Feel like that's important, Like that's it's most definitely important.
So learn to forget these people, not for them. But
for you. Learn to pray when it gets overwhelming. Learn
to be happy, you know what I mean? Fine piece
enjoying yourself man, Cause like I said, I know, I'm
(16:02):
not just talking about this young man. I know I'm
talking about other people. I know I am, I know
I am. It's all my spirit that I'm really talking
about other people right now. But yeah, find you some peace,
find you some happiness. Like, why the hell not? You
know what I mean. We don't need to be walking
around here angry at the world for what what what
we had to live for?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Baby?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
You better go find you some peace in your own
little bubble, on your own little world. Go do it, Okay,
go find you some peace saying it. Let that resentment go,
let that anger go, let that pain go, Like, let
it go.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It's not worth it.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It's not worth holding on too, It's worth releasing it.
It's worth becoming who you are meant to be. It's
worth becoming, you know, being able to walk in that
purpose that God has placed on your heart, on your life, Like,
that's what it's worth.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Because you just sit around angry at people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It ain't making you no money, it's not blessing you
like you just mad all the time.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Don't not wanna be around them like just mad all
the time. Don't not wanna do that cause I know
I don't. But y'all work on that, work on that.
I'm a prepriato.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'm a prepriato because everybody deserve to have that, that
peaceful life they do, and whatever that looks like for you,
whatever that looks like for you, because I don't expect
nobody peaceful life to look like man, I don't because
we've gone through different things in life, you know what
I mean. But work on it, like, make that a priority,
like I said, whether it's the form of talking to
(17:36):
someone professionally, whether it's the form of journaling, doing a
vision board, wrapping it, singing like, whatever that MA gives
you peace, do that, do it more often, Do it
more often, you know what I mean. And be intentional
about it, be purposeful about it. And I promise y'all
you'll see a difference. I promise you'll ste a difference.
(17:56):
But you gotta let that hurt go. You gotta let
that pain go, cause it ain't work. And don't do
nothing but make you look older. And who wants to
look older when they are at one point, we all
get old, but we ain't trying to look old man,
not in my twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties even. We
ain't trying to do that right now.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
But yeah, I love y'all. Thank y'all so much for
listening to me. Y'all let me rent and I love
it so much. I do wanna let y'all know that
I'm doing a special episode this Sunday's gonna be me
and two of my girlfriends, so two of my besties.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's gonna be fun. We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I will definitely be posting it here though, but I
just wanna let y'all know, y'all, your girl's doing something
a little different, like as I promise. But thank y'all,
Thank y'all, Thank y'all so much, keep liking, keep coming,
and keep down load. I pray y'all have an amazing weekend.
I pray y'all have an amazing week I love y'all,
(18:54):
and bye at It's Courtney
Hey, y'all, it's Courtney. Welcome back, well, come back, well
come back, Hey, my loves. Happy Friday. I hope y'all
are have an amazing day. I hope y'all had a
great week week. And I know y'all looking forward to
the weekend, because Lord knows I am and I was,
and I promise I don't have really too much to do.
(00:22):
I'm' hang out this weekend. But of course I'm sending
in my car as I always do when I talk
to y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
What else.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I turned forty one Tuesday. Hey, happy birthday to me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your girl feels great, feel amazing. I didn't do much
on my birthday. I worked half a day and I
chilled and hung out with my baby. That's what I
did for my birthday. But any fool, let's jump right
(00:54):
on in. So I'm standing in my car and I
was just thinking. You know, I was talking to my
mama about this situation, and she was letting me know
that someone was going on with her family, friends and whatnot.
And she was saying, how this person is so mad,
and you know, they so angry and they stay in trouble,
like they always into something right, always into something. And
(01:15):
you know, this is a young person. He is what
we call those white ends. Okay, he only like twenty one,
twenty two, but you know, I've known him. I've known
him a who his whole life. But you know, he's
an adult now and he's so angry. He's angry at
the world. And and I get it. You can't even
ready to be angry. Like your hand, the the the
(01:36):
the cards that were built to you. It was not
a a great deck of cards. I can honestly say
that I saw it from the inside, in the outside,
but I understand that. But as I'm sitting here thinking,
like you know, like I said, he wants to blame everybody,
he wants to, but there is no accountability or responsibility
on his own right. Like I said, he young, he's
(01:57):
twenty one, twenty two years old, so he angry, and
he's a black male. So I get it. I get
all those things. But I guess my big concern is
now you're grown.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Now you're grown, and now at this point, I say
anything between seventeen up until now, like you have to
take a step back and take some type of accountability
of what's been going on in your life, because, like
I said, you're grown now, so what are we doing here?
You can't keep blaming people for things that affected you.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In the past.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Okay, like you can't eat blaming these people, the people
that you don't even talk to a see, like, these
people are not they are not causing this distress or
this chaos in your life. You are causing these things.
It's all you. So he gonna have to take the
step back. But on top of that, he's gonna have
to start taking accountability. He's gonna have to start taking responsibility.
(02:57):
He's gonna have to learn to move different. But the
first and foremost thing, he's gonna have to give it
to God. He gonna have to pray. He gonna have
to get on his knees or yell out whatever he
needs to do to release. He gonna have to do
that at some point because he's gonna have to be
able to forget. He's gonna need to forgive these people
that hurt him, who didn't protect him, who didn't see him,
(03:18):
who didn't hear him, none of those things, and not
him forgiving them on their behalf, or to you know,
accept something from them or you know whatever I'm trying
to say, y'all roll with me. But he is gonna
have to forgive them for hisself, for his peace, for
(03:39):
his sanity, for his clarity, for his closure. He's gonna
have to forgive them. And that's just what that's gonna
have to be in order to let go a sept
that anger and that resentment and just all that heal
and chaos. My boy, you gonna have to you gotta
forgive him. You're gonna have to go to God with
this one. You're gonna have to go to God with
this one. And I've done nothing but pray for this
(04:01):
young man, wishing him the best, praying for him to
for life to turn around for him. And I know
I'm not just speaking to him. I know I'm not
just speaking to him. I know that I'm speaking to
somebody else who may be going through a similar situation.
They may have a child, they may have a brother.
Hell it could be them that's going through stuff and
acting out and mad at the world.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
And it's everybody fought but my own.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
But at the tru the the truth of the matter,
if you are under the age of eighteen, I can
understand you being angry, and I promise you I'm not
saying feel not saying you shouldn't feel how you feel,
because please feel how you feel. I'm the last person
to tell you how you shouldn't feel, okay, cause I
have all the feels in the world. But eighteen and younger,
(04:50):
you're still being raised by an adult, right. But once
you become eighteen and grown, like you have to really
start taking a step back, like looking in the mirror,
check your reflection, because some ain't right. Because you're grown
at this point. You take care of yourself, You work,
you take care of your bills, you feed yourself, you
do all the things that grown up does, and you
(05:12):
still having hell in you, and you still having all
this cast around you. I feel like, then the problem
is you. You can't keep blaming these people.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
If you don't let that hurt go, if you don't
let that pain go, if you don't release that drama
and that chaos and that heir in your life, you
better because you can't keep blaming folks. Y'all. We can't
keep blaming folks. It's like me going to rob a
fucking bank. Ain't nobody told me to go do that.
I can't blame it on Maria Seuer.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Joe.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I came up with that damn idea, you know what
I mean. I decided to do that because I just
couldn't take it anymore. I ain't saying I'm doing that, y'all.
I promised I wouldn't there it I work. But I'm saying,
no one convinced me. No one convinced me to do
these things. So if I go and actually do this
and I fuck around and get locked up, that falls
(06:07):
on me because I was by myself. I had this plan,
this pole idea.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
That's for me.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I can't go blame my mama. I can't go blame
my friends. That was my stupid ass idea. So that's
my thing. I'm grown. So I'm not gonna do something
or even at this big age, I'm not gonna let
nobody can vis me do something that's stupid at all,
you know what I mean. So we can't keep blaming
people for things that they did a million years ago,
(06:32):
Like we can't keep doing that, Like we really have
to wake up and realize, like I am the cause
of this problem right now. I'm the reason that things
in my life are not falling into place. I'm the
reason that my life is falling apart, you know what
I mean, Like I am causing all this chaos.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I am choosing to not let people love me and
to let me in.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I choose to walk around angry, upset, mad at the
world that falls on me. It falls on me. And
that's why it's so, so, so very important to take
a step back to find you a person or a
matter of fact, don't even find no person, baby, don't
find a person.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Pick up that Bible.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
If you don't have a Bible, follow on the knees
to cry it out.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
But talk to God. Talk to God.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I ain't saying it's gonna change over not but talk
to God. Because you don't gotta be that way. You
don't gotta be that way. The worst thing you can
keep doing with your life is walking around angry at
the world.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That is the worst thing you can do with your life.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Why you walking around angry like life is short enough,
Like it's enough shit going on now?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Why not try to live.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Peacefully, happy, actually find things that you actually like to
do in life and enjoy and surround yourself with some
great people.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
You know what, I mean, like, I get it.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I have been angry, I have been upset, I have
been mad, and I have been m myself to have
been the person to say, well, so and so did this,
and so and so.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Did it, and to day, no, I did it.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
That was all on me. Nobody convinced me. I had
that idea, you know what I mean. And I realized
that I needed help. I realized I needed help. I
needed help, and I cried out for it. I cried
out for y'all. I cried out for it, and I
cried out to God. And I started reading my Bible,
and I started reading my devotions that I get every morning.
(08:34):
And I started to think and unpacked, like what is
wrong with me? Like why am I walking around causing
all this chaos and this the stress? Like I'm never happy,
Like I'm always angry. I catch your attitude with somebody.
I look at somebody crazy and they could do absolutely
nothing to me, right, absolutely nothing to me. But I'm angry.
(08:55):
And now I'm at a point in my life that
I gotta figure this shit out. I gotta figure this, y'all.
I don't want to wake up angry every day. I
don't want to be mad at people because like I
actually like people. I actually like people, yet I do
I do I like people, so I want to be
able to go around.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
People will get energy.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I don't want people not want to hang around me
because I got bad energy.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And honestly, I feel like I lost a few people
because of my.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Energy, right, And I know, and I can also say
I lost a few people because they just were.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Now no longer meant for me. They were not good.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
They could not go on the journey in the path
that I was going to next, right, And that's okay.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And I understood that and accepted it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
But like I said, I had too kind of I
reached out to God, you know, I started praying, I
started reading a word, and I started meeting people that
were kind of on the same path as I was,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
They were going in this.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
New healing journey, like they were healing and they were
trying to find peace, enjoying happiness within themselves, you know
what I mean, Like that is what they they were
trying to do because they were tired of waking up angry,
they were tired of being mad, like all of those things.
And I started to meet people like that, and I
met people, and I met more and more people, and
(10:13):
then people would tell me, Hey, I have a therapist
or I have this and I have that, and you know,
I thought about it and it crossed my mind. And
you know, growing up in the black community, they're so
against you shouldn't. You don't need a therapist. You don't
got nothing you need to talk about. You just living what.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I got a lot of stuff that I need to
talk about. What do you mean? What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
But like I said, I kept hearing it, and I kept,
you know, like, why not why not go talk to
this stranger.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Who does not know me? Who do who does not
know me? And have a conversation. What's the harmon it?
What's the harmony? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Because this person I know is gonna listen to me,
they gonna take into what I'm saying. They're gonna take
that and consider they gonna understand that. Okay, she needed
to come and talk to me. She needed to release
all of this pain and this trauma and just be
(11:12):
the best version that she could be or he could be,
you know what I mean. So long story short, I
got the help that I needed, But I know I
needed to change my life. I knew I needed to
stop being angry people, you know, I just I knew
I needed. I wanted to live a happy life, a
peaceful life, and I'm so thankful that I did because
(11:33):
the state that I am in my life, I'm at peace, y'all.
I am happy, y'all. I have fun by myself. Okay,
I have fun by myself. I do, I do. I
love me, and don't get me wrong, I have fun
with other people, so you know what I mean. But
one thing about it, two things for show. You have
to be able to handle yourself all the time. Because
(11:56):
you are the you spend the most time with yourself. Okay,
I'm gonna repeat that one more time. You spend the
most time with yourself, So you have to be able
to live in this body happily, comfortably happy, whatever that
looks like for you, like, you have to do that.
And I knew I wanted to do that. I wanted
to be at peace. When I wake up in the morning,
(12:17):
I want to do peace.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Come.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Don't get me wrong, I have some Some mornings are
shitty as hell, right, they are shitty as hell, just
because I may not have got no resk. But my
child ain't moving, like I'm telling the mood trying to
get ready for school or whatever the case may be. Like,
I still have those days sometimes, but I don't have
as many days like that.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Okay I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I just don't because I refuse to wake up angry
and have an attitude. Because when you wake up in
the morning and if you having a crabby mood, that's
such your tone. You gonna have a crabby mood most
of the day. If you in pain and you know
you can't help it. Sometimes you can't help paying, but
you gonna pay in paint all day, Like you're not
(13:00):
gonna be happy. So I choose to have a great
day every day. I choose to have a great day
every day. So that's why I I When I get
up in the morning, I try not to go on
social media.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
First.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I make sure that I go to my Bible app
and don't Like I said, don't get me wrong, I
try not to go to social media all the time,
but I do make sure I go to my Bible app.
I get that word. I make sure my my soul
is getting feed. I make sure that I'm in the
right hand space. Like all of that, like because I
choose to have a good day. I choose to have
a good day because I, like I said, I've worked
(13:32):
so hard to get to this place of my life
that it's peaceful, that it's.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Fun, Like I am enjoying my life, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And I want everybody to enjoy their life, you know,
like I want everybody to enjoy it, whether it's you
by yourself or what you or whether you with your
family or your friends, whatever, like we gotta do that.
But also to those who are holding pain and anger
and resentment and you just can't help it, you can
(14:03):
help it. You can change that, you can fix that,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
But you probably need help. I'm just gonna be honest.
You probably needs melk.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Whether it's talking to somebody, whether it's writing it down,
whether it's rapping or sing whatever form of therapy that
is gonna help you to release that. If you're not
comfortable to go talk to a therapist or even God
at the moment, My prayers that you will be comfortable.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
To have that relationship with God. But I understand, I
get it. I don't do no judging over here, but
you need to release it. You need to release it.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You need to tate responsibility that you too had something
to do with w how shit is you know playing
out in your life right. You need to release it,
You need to let it go on. But most important,
you need to forgive these people. Not for yourself, I'm
gonna say, excuse me, Yeah, definitely for yourself, not for them,
but for you so you can feel better, so you
you can move better, so you can have clarity. You know,
(15:03):
you know exactly where you going once you move past it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And I ain't saying it's.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Gonna be easy, cause it's not. It's definitely not. Like
this is a challenge every single day. This is a
challenge every single day, choosing to be good, choosing to
be positive, you know what I mean, choosing to be
open and just be calm, you know what I mean.
Like it's a challenge every single day, but doing it
(15:29):
and putting in the work, I promise you it's so worthwhile.
It's so worthwhile because you just you move different, you
talk different, You you just you different.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Like you just feel good, and I.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Feel like that's important, Like that's it's most definitely important.
So learn to forget these people, not for them. But
for you. Learn to pray when it gets overwhelming. Learn
to be happy, you know what I mean? Fine piece
enjoying yourself man, Cause like I said, I know, I'm
(16:02):
not just talking about this young man. I know I'm
talking about other people. I know I am, I know
I am. It's all my spirit that I'm really talking
about other people right now. But yeah, find you some peace,
find you some happiness. Like, why the hell not? You
know what I mean. We don't need to be walking
around here angry at the world for what what what
we had to live for?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Baby?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
You better go find you some peace in your own
little bubble, on your own little world. Go do it, Okay,
go find you some peace saying it. Let that resentment go,
let that anger go, let that pain go, Like, let
it go.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It's not worth it.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It's not worth holding on too, It's worth releasing it.
It's worth becoming who you are meant to be. It's
worth becoming, you know, being able to walk in that
purpose that God has placed on your heart, on your life, Like,
that's what it's worth.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Because you just sit around angry at people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It ain't making you no money, it's not blessing you
like you just mad all the time.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Don't not wanna be around them like just mad all
the time. Don't not wanna do that cause I know
I don't. But y'all work on that, work on that.
I'm a prepriato.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'm a prepriato because everybody deserve to have that, that
peaceful life they do, and whatever that looks like for you,
whatever that looks like for you, because I don't expect
nobody peaceful life to look like man, I don't because
we've gone through different things in life, you know what
I mean. But work on it, like, make that a priority,
like I said, whether it's the form of talking to
(17:36):
someone professionally, whether it's the form of journaling, doing a
vision board, wrapping it, singing like, whatever that MA gives
you peace, do that, do it more often, Do it
more often, you know what I mean. And be intentional
about it, be purposeful about it. And I promise y'all
you'll see a difference. I promise you'll ste a difference.
(17:56):
But you gotta let that hurt go. You gotta let
that pain go, cause it ain't work. And don't do
nothing but make you look older. And who wants to
look older when they are at one point, we all
get old, but we ain't trying to look old man,
not in my twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties even. We
ain't trying to do that right now.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
But yeah, I love y'all. Thank y'all so much for
listening to me. Y'all let me rent and I love
it so much. I do wanna let y'all know that
I'm doing a special episode this Sunday's gonna be me
and two of my girlfriends, so two of my besties.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
It's gonna be fun. We're gonna do it live.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
I will definitely be posting it here though, but I
just wanna let y'all know, y'all, your girl's doing something
a little different, like as I promise. But thank y'all,
Thank y'all, Thank y'all so much, keep liking, keep coming,
and keep down load. I pray y'all have an amazing weekend.
I pray y'all have an amazing week I love y'all,
(18:54):
and bye at It's Courtney
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