August 25, 2025 • 59 mins
Step back in time with "Jack Benny," one of the most beloved comedians in radio history. His sharp wit, endearing personality, and hilarious routines made his show a staple of American entertainment. Tune in for a hearty dose of laughter and nostalgia, perfect for fans of classic comedy and vintage radio.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Jack The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Phil Harris and his Orchestra.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The Orchestrape is a program with all ah.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Just around the corner is June and hot summer days.
The call for crisp, tempting.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Salads and the best salads I know, I've called for Jello.
Try combining fresh vegetables or fruits with Jello for an
appetizing luncheon or supper salad. If you've never used Jello
in salads, you've missed a great bet for shimmering Jello
makes the most refreshing, zestful salad you ever served.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And here's one suggestion.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mold shredded cabbages, diced cucumbers, and celery and lemon jello,
serve on crisp let us with real mayonnaise, or make
a fresh fruit salad with orange jello. Why are there
any number of interesting salad combinations who can work out
for yourself using any one of Jello's six delicious flavors
and you'll enjoy them all. Or Jello has that extra
roots fruit flavor flavor that comes from the real white
(01:08):
fruit itself. But whether you serve jello as a salad
or as a dessert.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Always be sure.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
To get the real thing, genuine jello. And now, ladies
(01:39):
and gentlemen, let us hail the return of a man
who last week was flat on his back, but is
now standing here flat on his feet.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Jack Benny.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Gelo again as a Jack Benny, Remember the fellow who
wasn't here last Sunday. And I want to tell you something.
It's a good thing I've got flat feet, because I'm
still pretty shaky. I'd probably topple right over if they weren't.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh come on now, Jack, you weren't so terribly sick.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
I wasn't a and that's all you know about it
as it happens, I was critically ill.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I didn't see any headlines in the papers about it.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Well, that's not my fall. I phoned them all next time,
I'll take out a nab.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, Jack, you certainly looked rest of that for a
whole week in bed? Did you get much sleep?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Don How could I sleep with twelve flu germs playing
vingle on my chest, playing big Goh? Yeah, I didn't
mind that so much. But when they asked me to
call out the numbers, I thought I was falling, you know,
(02:51):
so I'm still pretty weak.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, you certainly don't look at Jack.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You're the picture of health. Now that's silly. Don take
a look at my tongue, man, I.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Don't see anything unusual. It's just a common, ordinary tongue.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Oh it is a well then I'm glad I stuck
it out at you. You're just jealous because I look
like Dracula.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
All right, all right, if it will make you any happier.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
You look lousy now you're talking. I'm glad you woke up.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Pardon me, mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
It's time for your pill. Oh yes, thank you, doctor,
Thank you. Don I want you to meet doctor Baldi.
You know I'm I'm still under his care.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Doctor?
Speaker 5 (03:38):
You could stand dieting young.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Man to see?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Don his mind is all we Donna's worth. My nurse
is here too, she's waiting out in the hall.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Why don't you have her come?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Oh no, not with these orchestra boys around. They're wolves
and rented clothing.
Speaker 6 (03:56):
Hello Jack, I'm glad to see you back again.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Oh hello Mary. Thanks, Yeah, I sure had a tough
time this past week. You don't I look awful.
Speaker 6 (04:05):
I'll say you're as pale as a ghost goat.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You mean tale is a goat?
Speaker 6 (04:10):
Well this goat is dead.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh oh, a goat goes. Well that was bad thinking.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
What I say?
Speaker 4 (04:16):
That was bad thinking? Oh?
Speaker 6 (04:18):
I thought you were talking about the ghosts.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I was.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
The Mary. I want to thank you for those lovely
roses you sent me. They were beautiful, were they? Yeah,
that's the first time I've ever seen a third of
a dozen the Mary. I did notice that the roses
were quite limp and droopy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
There.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
What happened?
Speaker 6 (04:43):
I knew you were sick till I boil them.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well, it's a good idea. You can't be too careful there, Oho, Kenny, Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Jack, See you look to Laurel and hearty.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
That's tail and hardy. But let it go. Oh that's
all right. The next time I'm sick, don't wire congratulates.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Well it worked on Mother's Day.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Well, let's not get involved in that, you know, Benny,
is time for your medicine again? Oh yes, doctor, yes, Now,
first you take this red pill, and then you'll followed
with this white one.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Two of them this time, I say, what's the white
pil for?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
In case the red one is poison?
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Well, that's thoughtful. Isn't he an unusual doctor Verry?
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah? What are you taking case of him?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I wish I knew?
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Say, Jack, is that girl out in the haul your nurse?
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Who do you mean? That pretty blonde with a white.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Uniform and Phil Harris around her neck? Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Where'd you see her?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Out in the hall around Phil Harris's neck. I thought
you said Phil was around her neck? Hawthor all mixed up?
So that's why Phil sneaked out of here. I got
a good mind to go out there and put him
in his plate.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Oh, Jack, you're up on your feet now. Why don't
you stay that way?
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Yes? Maybe I better wait by myself again, you know.
Oh it's you. I ejact old boy. Glad to see
you back again. Thanks. What are you doing out in
the hall there, Phil? Well? I wasn't feeling so good,
so I had your nurse take my temperature. You did
a well, wipe it off your lips. What's that you
got in your hands? She wrote me out of prescription?
(06:19):
Oh yeah, what is it? Hillside? Five? Oh two seven?
Get me a bottle of that new anyway, it's time
for you to play a number, so get ready, okay,
And another thing, this nurse is here to take care
of me, so please stay away from her. I got
a temperature too quiet, Kenny, playfil oh nursy, nursy, Oh tut.
(08:28):
I was Bluelooth played by Phil Harris and my nerves
are his artists. And incidentally, Phil, I listened to you
last Sunday and I was home, you know, and your
especialty was very good. I didn't notice in yet, Thanks
my little buckaroo. Well did you hear me too, Jay parts?
I did? Kenny, I thought you did a swell job.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Please me.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I was all in.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I had to sing three songs.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Oh what a strange three songs in one week. I
don't think how you did it. I bet it'll tell
on me when I get older. Oh, no doubt, say Mary.
That reminds me. Why didn't you work last Sunday?
Speaker 6 (09:04):
To me?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Oh, I wasn't feeling so good. I had fever and
chills and pains and a headache. Oh so we all
went to the crocodiarrol.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
And then quite a party. Yeah it comes Une, Yeah,
say Dak, tell us the truth.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Did you get a kick sitting home listening to your
own show?
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Yes? I did, Don and I'm going to tell you something,
but don't let it go to your head. When you
read the commercial and told everybody how to make jello, well,
it just did something to me. I tell you, Don,
I was electrified. Oh you're kidding, No, I'm not, And
don listen. Don. When you said look for the big
(09:42):
red letters on the box, as quick as I was,
I jumped right out of bed and looked for you did, yes, sir, Jack.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Didn't you love the way I said?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
There was only one jello and the trade mark is
You're guaranteed. Don. When I heard that, well, there was
a lump on my throat.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Don't you mean a lump in your throat?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
No? This was a nice bag. But John, the biggest
thrill I got all evening was when you mentioned the
different flavors. Really, Jack, absolutely. Of course, when you started
out with strawberry, raspberry and cherry, that didn't affect me
so much. But when you got to orange, I felt
myself slipping. And by the time you reached lime. What happened?
(10:26):
I was in another world.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
You were and snoring twice as loud as ever before.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I was not mister Bennett's time for another pill. Oh yes, doctor, yes,
here you are a pretty blue one.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Hey, wait a minute, this is a button.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Oh goodie, I've been looking for that all week.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Oh answer the phone, Mary, If that's my father, tell
him it's in the mail.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Okay, hello, yes, oh hello mama.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Oh it's her again.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Yes, yes, mamma, yours is in the mail too.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Uh what? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Jack is feeling much better. No, mamma, I won't get
too close to him.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
They think I have measles or something.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Yes, mamma, Jack's gonna take a vacation in.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
A few weeks.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
We all are.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
Why no, no, no, mamma, you can't. That's impossible.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
What does you want, Mary?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
Mama wants to take over the summer show.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Tell her no, I'll never be able to follow her.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
Uh oh, mama, he says, he'll never be able to
follow you.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Why what are you laughing at?
Speaker 6 (11:47):
She says, you won't even be able to follow this
phone call? Oh, matching with uh, well, good bye, Mama,
Thanks for calling. I'll write your letter tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Why.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Oh that's too bad? Well good, isn't that awful?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Jack?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
I won't be able to write letters home anymore?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (12:05):
Papa's raising pigeons in the mailbox.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
I'll send her my dove or my love and now
who And now, folks, that's about the worst gag I've
ever pulled at it. And now folks that Mary's mother
has had her little fling. Kenny Baker will sing, what
are you going to sing? Kenny? I'll think of something.
Well think Kenny, playboys.
Speaker 8 (12:45):
Whenever he's under That was in my and Pucky.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
All along you.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Were gray labrainy day for in by what it tease
that pel or was it ray?
Speaker 9 (13:31):
Then we school has lobberso di logging bring your pain?
Speaker 8 (13:41):
Wa it tease that pel or was it ray? Could
tell if you're as were miste or if you fell
be gray. I know a friend, you chick that both
(14:05):
your cheek.
Speaker 9 (14:15):
We meet again, my sweet that memory will remain, Oh.
Speaker 8 (14:27):
It tea motell?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Oh Kenny Baker singing was it rained from the hip parade?
(14:58):
And Kenny, I must tell you last I heard you
sing that number you wrote, what's the name of it? Again?
You are my love that said it was beautiful. I'll
have to play it on my violin sometimes.
Speaker 8 (15:09):
Oh Jack, it's my first song.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
Well let it grow up before you kill it.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
You two have a lot of respect for an invalid
and our ladies and gentlemen for our feature attraction this
evening for our dramatic socko, where are going to present
an original mystery melodrama, a thrilling and blood curdling adventure
entitled Death at Midnight or the Murder Case. Now. I
(15:51):
will play the part of Detective o' benny, who always
gets his man. Bill Harris will be my assistant who
always get your girl quiet. Now, this is a murder mystery.
Mary Livington will be the wife of the murder ree
and Kenny Baker will be the victim.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
Oh jeeus, no future nap, I'm going to be your wife?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
What have I guys? Please? And last but not finnis
is Don Wilson who will be the butler. However, before
presenting our mystery, folks, let me give you a brief
synopsis of what has happened up to now. On the
night of May third, a d after dinner, mister j Wellington.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Croftsmere Wellington, yet a social Line.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Was found murdered in his den. At the time of
the murder, his wife was in the room reading a
copy of Live Alone and Like It, which may have
thrown her apot. The victim was playing solitaire when suddenly
he was interrupted by a lead Tibbetzer. Now who committed
(16:58):
this crime? Was it the butler?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Was it the French maid?
Speaker 8 (17:05):
A corpse?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Was it bing Crosbie? No, but he mentioned my name
last week? And now the wife, missus Crossmare, did you
kill your husband?
Speaker 6 (17:17):
I hated him, I loaded him, I despise him.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
So that night I saw we can't give it away now,
but this mystery will go on immediately after the next number.
Playfail and make it snappy. Our listeners must be on
the edge of their seats, don't fall off or run
(19:06):
away from played by Phil Harrison his orchestra. Now, ladies
and gentlemen for our mystery, play Murder at Midnight or
when my green Boat comes home. The old Thing scene
is the authors of Detective O Benny at Police headquarters.
Curtains phone call, I mean musy, Hello, police headquarters.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Let me talk to Detective Obnny.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
My name is Jay Wellington.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Krutzmeres.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
There's nothing I can do about that that's on your mind.
I got a hunch I'm going to be murdered. Or
makes you think.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
So my wife is always playing a gun at me,
but she pulls the trigger.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Let me know, all right? Goodbye, goodbye? Anything wrong?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Cap?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh, some fellow thinks he's going to be murdered? Is he?
I hope not. The boys are delivering beer in the
patrol wagon. I said, hello, de technive, old Benny speaking.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
This is missus Krossmere. Were you just talking to my husband?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Yes, nice Chap, he sure was. Now what do you
mean come.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Over at one? I think he's been shot?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Your husband' shock? What makes you think? So?
Speaker 6 (20:28):
He's laying on the floor and there's an extra buttonhole
in his shirt.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
There is? He? Well, I'll be right over and don't
make any more buttonhole? So I get there.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
Okay, Cap brings some white rock right.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
By. What happened? Cap Krotsmeir was right, SOA's Barnum, Yes,
and they're both dead. Boy, we gotta do something about that.
You take Barnum and I'll take Cropsman. No, you take
Barnum and I'll take Krossmere, Barnum, Krossmor, Kratsmere, Barnum. Let's
follow the whole thing. Ah, No, we can't do that.
We gotta get over there. At once an investigates hallow
(21:04):
me hera right o, cap they carry the office, lieutenant. Okay,
come on, sarge, let's go better take your health for us.
Mister Benny, all right, Doc hame on cards for all
Old Benny rides again. Well here we are, hard. This
(21:28):
is a place, all right. Hold up in the name
of the law. This is police headquarters. Dog Connor, I
forgot to release the break. Well let's try again. This
(21:54):
will be the place, hard, it better be. We're out
of gas. Hold up, open the door, I'll break it down.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well, good easy, gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Good evening. Eh, make a note of that, sard Okay,
cap here the butler, aren't you? How do you know?
Your uniform is a dead giveaway? How come on you?
Where's the body you mean?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Mister Crossmer's yeah, he's right there on the floor.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Follow me is hard? Yeah, man, musicians are all alike?
Who say, wait a minute? Are you and missus Crossmeyer?
Speaker 6 (22:34):
No? I am the nade.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Yeah, what's your name? Your last name? Poo poo he
pee pooh pooh we we we we making note of
that sort targan uh huh. I bring missus Cropsmere in
(23:00):
here here.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
I am calf. That is a fiddle and ready for
a new husband.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Oh yeah, I want to talk to you, madam.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Go ahead, blue coat, take a load off your feet
and sit down.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Thanks out. What's the matter of cat. I've been looking
for that badge all day? Oh now, missus Crossmere, where
were you at the time of the murder?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
He's back of the gun minding my own business.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Oh yeah, did have a gun age? Yes? Where'd you
buy the bullet at Bullet's Wilshire. That's a local gag, Polpe.
But the fix, Alice, missus trotsmeure. I want the whole story.
Are you right from the stock? And I want the truth?
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Get at the truth, okay, Bloodhounds. My husband and I
were sitting in the gyms. He was behind his desk
cleaning his pipe. Yes, here's gone, when suddenly a shot
rang out.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I looked toward the window and there I saw beg pardon, madam,
Why are we having jell o for dinner?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Yes, cankins, any particular.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
Flavor, A little of each and make sure that it's
genuine yellow, the big red letters on the.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Box making all of that. Sorry, got your bow. I'll
go ahead, missus, trustmer. What did you see well.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
I looked out of the window and they're in the moonlight.
I saw shadows running across the lawn.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Oh moonlight, and shadows must have been making a dash
for the hip parade, making all of that. Sorry, ain't
worth it? And then what happened? Missus Krossmere?
Speaker 6 (24:31):
I screamed the fire too?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Shots? Two shots? I thought you were lying, amicton, gad,
you're coming with me? And what's more, you're coming without
a struggle.
Speaker 6 (24:40):
I never struggled, Yes, big boy.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Then slap the brakeless on bars.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
Now let's go.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I wait a minute, hold everything, No one moved. Then
time for another pill, mister Benny. I haven't got time
for that, doc, I get out of here. Come on,
Sarge and take Missus Crossmere with you.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
What is that.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Look, Sarge? Come on through a stone through the window. Yes, Captain,
there's a note tied around us.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
I know.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Hey, what does it say? He'll SiGe five O two seven?
That nurse again? She sure gets her wrong. Come on,
let's go. Wait a minute, Stargs, Wait a minute, there's
a phone. Maybe it's a clue. I'll take it. Hello, Yes, yes,
(25:37):
what who tactic? Faith talk corner? We got the wrong
last page.
Speaker 7 (25:48):
What do I do now?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
This will be concluded next Sunday night for the murder beast.
Will they find the right page? We'll text doctor run
out of pills. Listen in next Sunday night and find
out play pill. Dessert is a great favorite with everybody.
(26:24):
And here's a dessert that's everybody's favorite. Ice Cream made
with yellow ice cream powder, the new way to have
rich yellow ice cream more quickly, more easily, more economically.
Or yellow ice cream powder makes delicious, creamy ice cream,
the kind with the real old fashioned homemade flavor. Yet
you actually use less cream and get more ice cream,
(26:46):
and you make it right in the freezing trays of
your refrigerator, or if you prefer, you'll get the same
wonderful results with an ordinary hand freezer. All you do
is combine yellow ice cream powder with milk, some cream,
and sugar, and you'll soon have a quart and a.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Half of smooth, mellow ice cream.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
An economical I'll say it is why one package of
yellow ice cream powder makes one and a half quarts
of ice cream, twice as much as most other such
products on the market. So serve ice cream made with
yellow ice.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Cream powder soon. There are five rich delicious flavors chocolate.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Vanilla, strawberry, lemon, and maple. And there is unflavored too,
so that you can make any flavored ice cream you want.
Ask your grocer tomorrow for several packages of Yello ice
cream powder.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
This is the last number of the thirty fifth program
in the New Jello Series. We'll with you again next
Sunday night, when we will finish our thrilling mystery. So
be sure and listen in. Come Mary, You're going home.
Speaker 6 (28:36):
Take my handcuffs off first.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Oh yes, that's right. Good Nightfall, Thank.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
The kiln.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Come run away from laves from the King, Marie.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The Jello Program comes here from.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Hollywood over the Red Network of a national broadcasting company.
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and
(29:28):
Phil Harris and his Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
The Orchestra is a program with when here's a news
bulletin for everybody, a news.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Bulletin about everybody's favorite dessert, Jello. Now on every package
of Jello you will find one or more exciting new
Jello recipes printed clearly right on top.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
This is done to help you enjoy Jello in any
number of new.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Different ways or Jellos certainly of versatile dessert. Just listen
to the names of some of the recipes on the
Jello packages. Pineapple snow, date and celery salad, raspberry tarts,
cinnamon crystal dessert.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They're all made with Jello. And there are just a
few of the many suggestions for varying your main us.
So whenever you buy Jello, look for these recipes and
you'll be sure to.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Find some delicious new suggestions for serving America's most popular dessert.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And no matter how many ways you serve it.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
You'll always enjoyed Jello's extra rich fruit flavor, flavor that
come from real ripe fruit. But always be sure you
get the real thing. Look for the big bread letters
on the box. They spell Jello. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
(31:07):
we bring to the man who has thrown away his medicine,
hot water bottle and doctor Bill's Jack Benny.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Jelo again. This is Jack Benny talking, and don I
want to tell you something. I may be okay physically,
but mentally I'm a mess to night. I'm so nervous
that I well, I don't know what I'm doing. Where's Phil?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
You didn't get here?
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yet, Why, Thank Heaven?
Speaker 2 (31:34):
What's the matter, Jack?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
What's wrong? Don Don you know that beautiful diamond wristwatch
Phil gave me for Christmas?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Well I lost it, lost it, yes, and I just
can't bear to face Phil without it. But if he
comes in and asks me what time it is, I'll swoon.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Dob Jack, Jack, don't get excited. There must be some
way to find it.
Speaker 8 (31:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
When did you last wash your hands?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Oh? I've had the watch since then? Gee, I miss it.
I used to get so much exercise winding.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
It, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Oh, it'll turn up. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Don't worry. Look at my fingernails. Look at them. I
don't see any of course not. They're home on the floor.
I tell you, Don, I'm a wreck. Oh hello, Mary,
Hello Mary? Did you put that ad in the paper
from my watch like I told you to?
Speaker 6 (32:23):
Yes, Jack, I brought your coffee of it.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
What does it say?
Speaker 6 (32:25):
It says notice Jack Fenny's watch lost straight or hawks
hawk when last scene was wearing.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
A writ Well, Mary, you should have put it in
a description of it.
Speaker 6 (32:37):
I did here. It is large mole on minute hand
and face needs washing.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
It's a fine description.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
Finder.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Please return to return to war.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
That's all the money I had.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Well, it's a lucky thing. I had my name on it.
I only hope I get the watch back before Phil
gets here.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Jack, don't let it pray on your mind tomorrow. Now
let's change the subject.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
That's a good idea. Say, Mary, have you started your watch?
I mean, have you started your picture for Paramount yet? Oh?
Speaker 6 (33:07):
Sure, I've been on it a whole week now, and
I'm getting the biggest pick out of it.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Well I can imagine, you know, don this is her
first picture. It's called this Way Please.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Well, good luck to you, Mary, Thanks John, same to me.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
How's the script?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Mary?
Speaker 4 (33:21):
Have you have you got a good part? Oh? Jack?
Speaker 6 (33:23):
You should see the director. He's tall, dark and has
the most agorable accent.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I know, Mary, but what about your lines? I mean
your part and the pictures and the camera man?
Speaker 6 (33:33):
Has he got the duckiest dimples?
Speaker 4 (33:35):
The duckiest Yeah?
Speaker 6 (33:37):
He had me behind the camera all day yesterday.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
How can you make pictures behind the camera?
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Who cares?
Speaker 4 (33:43):
He's cute? Well, you certainly get around. I bet you've
met the janitor.
Speaker 6 (33:48):
I'll say, brown eyes, baggy pants, and the blondest broom.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
All right, Mary, that's enough.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Hey Jack Roight, have you forgotten about your watch?
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Hey? What are you trying to do anyway? Now I'm
all upset again. I'll bet that's Phil. Now you can't
kid me. It's Kenny Baker. Oh hello, Kenny.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Hello, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
You look so calm and excited.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Well you're half right, and that's a record for you.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Well, if you must know, Kenny, I lost that beautiful
wristwatch Phil gave me for Christmas and I can't find
it anywhere.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Did you look on your wrist?
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah, it's Kenny, and it's not fair. Well, maybe it's lost, Yes, Kenny,
that's the idea. I lost my watch and I don't
know where to look for it. Gee. If it was
a collar button, you could look under the dresser, Oh
I could. Uh yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:43):
And if you were an old maid you could look
under the bed.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
Well. I won't even answer that, Jack.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Your watch will turn up. I take it easy.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Gee. If that's Phil Harris, I'll die. Come in, mister Benny.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yes, I understand you lost a very valuable diamond wrist watch.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yes I did. Have you seen it not lately?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Goodbye?
Speaker 4 (35:05):
God, I wish you'd set some yellow out in the
hall for that guy. We might trap him. Playboy Bamber
(36:30):
and very good, boys, very good, especially without your leader,
(37:09):
say don don While the boys were playing, did anyone
come in or call about the watch?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
No, and stop worrying about it, Jack, you're too sensitive.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Well of course I'm sensitive. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:18):
Jack wouldn't even bait a fishhook without giving the worm either.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Well, I certainly wouldn't, believe me. Do you ever notice
the look in a worm's eyes when you're about to
put him on the hook. He just seems to say,
take it easy, bud. Not through the vertebrate people don't
realize it, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Jack, I had a pet worm once.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
See I miss him? A pet worm? What happened to him?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
He ran away with an apple?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Oh well, that's the trouble with worms. You can't trust him.
Speaker 6 (37:53):
I never saw one yet that wouldn't carry on.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
You ain't it the truth? But they're smart though, you know.
You know I knew a worm once that used to
get up late just to fool the early birds.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh maybe he didn't know about daylight saving time?
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Oh yes he did, John, Yes he did. It would
be surprised how clever those little fellows are. They might
wiggle around while they're doing nothing, but believe me, they're thinking, thinking,
all the time. Yes, sir, answer the phone, Mary. Maybe
(38:29):
it's news about the watch, would it okay? Hello?
Speaker 6 (38:34):
Yes, yes, yes he did, Mary.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (38:40):
Oh, yes, he'll be very happy, that's all it's.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
On his mind.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
What a relief.
Speaker 6 (38:44):
He's right here. Yeah, it's for you, Don.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yes, yes, madam.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
You can always tell genuine jello by those big red letters.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
On the box.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Find time to call up about that.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yes, yes, yes, you will find that it taste twice
as good as ever before, with its six delicious flavors strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange,
lemon and lime.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
I'm claiming in line.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You're welcome, Adam.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Goodbye. Don. I wish you'd keep your romantic affairs off
of this program, but it was business. Oh business sure,
with you gushing all over the phone. And it's your
age too. Telegram for Jack Benny. Hey, maybe that's good
news about the watch. He was from merry with so
here boy. Yeah, I hope it's jacket from your father?
Oh Dad, what does he say?
Speaker 8 (39:31):
Dear Stun?
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Is your watch insured or should I worry too.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Good old Dad always so practical.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
So Jack, I just happened to think to think of something.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Let me see, were you in any restaurants yesterday where
you might have lested your wife?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Huh, you're blushing, Don, that's the strawberry.
Speaker 8 (40:07):
What what did you ask me?
Speaker 3 (40:09):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I asked you, Jack?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
If you were at out of your restaurant yesterday where
you might have left your watch?
Speaker 3 (40:13):
Don?
Speaker 4 (40:14):
I always have enough money to pay my check.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Well, I mean where you could have mislaid it.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Let's see, I had lunch at the Biltmore and dinner
at the Ambassador and.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Come in pardon me, does mister Jack Benny broadcast from here?
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Yes, I'm Jack Benny. What is it?
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Did you possess something yesterday that you owned possesses today?
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Yes? Yes, my diamond wristwatch. What do you know about it?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Nothing except I found it?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
You're dead? Well? Well, hey, that's a load off of
my mind given him me.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Now wait a minute, son, Wait a minute. First, we's
gonna have a financial skirmish.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Oh, naturally, a reward. A reward, yes, now what would
you consider a fair amount?
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Well, you just shout out some figures and I'll hop
on one.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
Okay, now let me see. Shall we say ten dollars?
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Complete this?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Well, maybe I can, Maybe I can do a little better.
Suppose I make it twelve and a half.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Who listen to them fractions?
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Well, look, what do you say to fifteen dollars? It's fifteen?
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Okay, confidentially.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Now hold on, you don't own the watch. You just
found it. I got it in it.
Speaker 6 (41:44):
Oh Jack, you were so anxious to get the watch back.
Why don't you give him what he wants?
Speaker 4 (41:48):
All right? How much do you want?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Well, fifty dollars would make tomorrow Christmas?
Speaker 4 (41:53):
All right, I'll give you fifty dollars. Here goes my vacation. Folks,
I'll make you out of check right now.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
You ain't gonna give me no chickens.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
Well, let's not argue about it.
Speaker 7 (42:04):
I'll give you a cash. Wait till I open my pocketbook.
I'll have to oil laughter.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Oh look a butterfly flew out of Jack's pocketbook.
Speaker 6 (42:21):
That's am all right, young man.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Here's your money, thank you.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
So here's your watch? Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Oh by the way, young fellow, where did you find
mister Benny's watch in a restaurant?
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Oh? Yes, yes, the Ambassador.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
No, sir, this was the Acme hot Dog Parler. That's right,
that's right.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
I stopped there on my way to the Ambassador. I
went in to get a cigar.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
You was eating when I seen I was not well.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Goodbye, goodbye, young man, and thanks very much for finding
my watch. You know you must be pretty good at
finding things.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
I don't know about that.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
I never did find an Alba cookie.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
Oh it's you. Fifty dollars and five cents for a
hop dog. Oh well, as long as I got my
watch back, sing Kenny, is my heart?
Speaker 8 (43:36):
If you love.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
Me, love me, love.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
You?
Speaker 8 (43:53):
I burnt call a man, let my fall and tell you.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Is the night of me blue.
Speaker 8 (44:30):
As your eyes are blue? Bra is the night if
you love me, love me, I love you? Oh notes, listen,
(45:03):
let me say is the night of b.
Speaker 4 (45:15):
Me you.
Speaker 8 (45:19):
As you lie here you bra is the night if
you love love me and the love you is one.
Speaker 4 (45:49):
One that was blue was the night, sung by Kenny Baker,
(46:10):
and very good, well it was it was you.
Speaker 7 (46:15):
You certainly can hit.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
Those high notes, say Kenny, how can you tell when
you've reached your highest note? Oh?
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I just take a deep breath, and when I can
see my necktie.
Speaker 4 (46:23):
I quit. Well that's a good system, and besides, I
ought to have my head examined for asking you. And now,
ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
The extractor comes.
Speaker 8 (46:36):
Phil.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
Oh well, remember everybody, not a word about the watch.
I don't want to know what happened. Hello Phil, Hello Jack,
I'm terribly sorry. I'm late. I overslept and I had
a flat tire at the same time. Well, hell but
it But it's all right, Phil. That can happen to anybody.
(46:58):
Ge aren't you mad? No? No, as a matter of fact,
I'm glad you're late. Say what is this anyway? Don't
tell him pole?
Speaker 6 (47:06):
Oh Jack, what time is it now?
Speaker 4 (47:08):
Mary? I told you, didn't you? Now cut it out?
What's all excitement?
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Jack?
Speaker 4 (47:13):
Well, I hate to break it to you, Phil, but
the cats out of the bag. I may as well
tell you I lost the watch? What was what? Watch?
The watch you gave me for Christmas? But I got
it back. Oh that's good. Hello Kenny, And after the
(47:34):
way I worried. Oh, well, on with the show. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, for our dramatic offerings tonight, I mean
our psd resisting We will attempt to solve the baffling
mystery which we began last week entitled Death at Midnight
once Again. I will be Captain o'benny. It's fearless of
(47:55):
bloodhound has ever sniffed the clue? Phil Harris will be
my assistant first, and Mary Livingston will be Missus Crossmere,
who was suspected of murdering her husband, played by Kenny Baker.
You bore me Blue Code, Watch Out or Algria. I'm
practicing my pot, folks, I see Kenny. Why are you
laying down on the floor.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I'm practicing my part?
Speaker 4 (48:16):
Too well done? Get stepped on. I would have got
a red letter on my chest. So the death of
this night we're go on immediately after the next number
play Pille and Honey the boys make a pause, move,
I'll shoot. I'm practicing too, folks. That was Dardanella I think,
(50:07):
played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. And now for
our play Death at Midnight or can't you hear me
calling Caroline? As you may remember last week, mister j
Wellington Cropsmere was found murdered in his den. His wife
was in the room at the time, but claims she
had nothing to do with it. Captain o'bnny was called in,
(50:28):
but up to now he was unable to get anywhere
with the crime or Missus Cropsmere, the latter causing him
considerable annoyance. As a scene opened, we find Detechnive obnny
and Sergeant Harris at police headquarters. Curtain Newton got the phone.
(50:58):
Cap It ain't the good humor man, Hi'll answer Hello
Police Headquarters, Catlow Benny speaking, come over once. I'm going
to be murdered. Get away from that four.
Speaker 7 (51:13):
I'll let you have it.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
All right, goodbye? What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Cap?
Speaker 4 (51:28):
Oh? Some family spat. We got to settle this Crocksmere
case first, anything new on it? No, but I got
a hunch there's a man in the case. You know that,
saying Sirshay lafem Hello Police headquarters.
Speaker 6 (51:44):
Hello Tappy, this is missus Crossmayor. Yes, why don't you
come over and investigate my husband's murder.
Speaker 4 (51:50):
It's no use, I can't find any evidence.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
I'm dropped in anyway.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
I'm lonesome, Okay, you like tea? Yes, well, have a
cup and come over. I'll be right there. Come on, Sarge,
we gotta get over to missus krossmeres right away. I
think she's gilly and ready to crack. Where's my gun
in your coat? Where's my handcuff in your past? Where
am I in your pants? Fine, and we're all set.
(52:17):
Let's go. Here's the place, sarge, come on, open up
on free monsieur. Hello, peep, where's missus.
Speaker 6 (52:38):
Krosmere La dama chambrace?
Speaker 4 (52:42):
Oh tescase huh? I thought so, make it one of
that starge ble Now listen, see my name is Pepe.
While I'm in a hurry, you get Missus Krossmere down
here too, sweetie. Okay, did she come now?
Speaker 6 (53:13):
Good evening, jents. What's all the commotion?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Oh hello, missus Trutzmeyre. I'm here to find out who
killed your husband.
Speaker 6 (53:19):
Let's not talk. Shot Skippy, come over here on the
sofa and sit down.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
None of that, Missus trust mayor none of that. I
represent the long arm of the law.
Speaker 6 (53:29):
Well put it around me in relax.
Speaker 4 (53:33):
I haven't got time for that. I have pargan. Aren't
you ashamed of yourself?
Speaker 3 (53:43):
Not yet?
Speaker 4 (53:46):
Oh now, listen, Missus Trustmere. Your husband was murdered, and
as long as you won't talk, you are the only
one in the room at the time. There's only one
way to solve this. We'll reenact the crime me.
Speaker 6 (53:59):
You don't have to shoot him again.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
Quiet, I'll find out my own way. Go get your gas,
I get my guy.
Speaker 6 (54:08):
What I got my gas?
Speaker 4 (54:11):
Go? Then let's cop daddy. I mean, let's get going.
I'll be missus Cross Mayer and you stand over there
and fire at me. But Cap, she's allowed to kid
you don't worry. Go ahead and shoot Missus Cross Mayor.
I got my bulletproof vest on. Okay, out god, I
forgot the button. Take it over of that stard one
(54:32):
two button your vest I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this. Missus Cross Mayer, you murdered your husband.
Speaker 6 (54:38):
You might as well admit I told you I bumped
him off.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Don't evade the question.
Speaker 6 (54:43):
Come clean now, all right, then, I didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (54:46):
I'm sold.
Speaker 4 (54:56):
Now listen you. Oh I'm not. I'm going home.
Speaker 6 (54:59):
Lay down, Kenny, Yes, takes the holiday.
Speaker 4 (55:03):
Come on, sister, no wise crack hey Tarry, Yeah, caplet's
give her one more cance come fastcause you don't do
it this time. We'll give her the third degree.
Speaker 8 (55:10):
Look out camp for gow.
Speaker 4 (55:14):
What was that someone threw the butler through the window,
the butler. Yeah, and there's a notpany's hands. No, what
does it say? It says that Cello is the finest
tasting jelatin dessert in the world, and every day millions
of people eatings. Hang on with that message.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Let's be a cold.
Speaker 4 (55:32):
Do you know anything about this? This cross mirror?
Speaker 6 (55:34):
What are you torturing me for? Cap I told her
I killed him, didn't I I couldn't stand it any longer, so.
Speaker 4 (55:39):
I shot him.
Speaker 6 (55:40):
I shot him dead.
Speaker 4 (55:42):
You breakdown? Why did you murder your husband?
Speaker 6 (55:48):
I killed him because I loved him.
Speaker 8 (55:49):
You loved your husband?
Speaker 4 (55:50):
No?
Speaker 6 (55:51):
The iceman?
Speaker 4 (55:53):
Oh so that today? Why didn't you kill the iceman?
Speaker 6 (55:55):
Wait? Do you look at the icebox?
Speaker 4 (55:59):
That's all I want to know. Plots of bracest on here, sergeant,
let's go Wait a minute. Oh everything, No one moved.
I mean, pardon me, but I'm looking for a guy
by the name of Jack Fenny. I'm Jack Benny. But
you'll have to wait. I'm right in the middle of
a play. Well, I don't know anything about that.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
Have you got a diamond wristwatch with a platinum band?
Speaker 8 (56:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (56:21):
Bill Harri gave it to me for a present last Christmas,
Dad's the one.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
Hand it over.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Now, wait a minute, who are you. I'm from the
credit jewelry store. And the payments on that watch haven't
been kept up. Oh when was the last payment made?
Speaker 3 (56:37):
A week after Christmas?
Speaker 4 (56:39):
Now, come on give me that watch. Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Oh pel hell, good night folk, pl
pl pail.
Speaker 8 (56:48):
Come on give me that watch.
Speaker 1 (56:49):
Here it is of all the cheap, low four flushing
star playboys.
Speaker 4 (56:54):
By the most contemptible, humiliating thing I've ever heard of.
To give me a watch.
Speaker 1 (57:09):
There's one dessert that always gets a grand reception.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Just listen to this.
Speaker 1 (57:14):
It's ice cream, the creamy, delicious kind made with yellow
ice cream powder.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Ice Cream made this modern way is rich.
Speaker 1 (57:21):
And mellow, and you make it more quickly, more easily,
and much more economically. Or with yellow ice cream powder,
you actually use less cream and get more ice cream,
and you make it right in the freezing trays of
your refrigerator.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
Or you can use an ordinary hand freezer and get
the same marvelous results.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Just combine yellow ice cream powder, milk, some cream and sugar,
and soon you'll have a quart and a half of smooth,
velvety ice cream.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
For that real homemade flavor.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
One package of yellow ice cream powder makes a quart
and a half of ice cream, twice as much as
most other such products you can buy. Yellow ice cream
powder comes in five flavors, rich, chocolate, vanillay, lemon.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
And maple.
Speaker 1 (58:01):
There is unflavored too, so that you can make ice
cream and any other flavor you want. Ask your grocer
tomorrow for several packages of yellow ice cream powder.
Speaker 4 (58:20):
The last number of the thirty six program in the
new Yellow Series. We'll with you again next Sunday night
at the same time. Of course, I'll have to guess
at the time.
Speaker 6 (58:28):
Say Jack, what, don't worry about the watch?
Speaker 4 (58:31):
Oh, it isn't the watch. Mary the besides, I gave
that sello fifty dollars for finding it. That's Bill Harris
of all the meanest seacol false friends.
Speaker 6 (58:41):
Night, folks, I've heard.
Speaker 1 (58:56):
The Yellow Program comes from you from Hollywood over the
Red Network.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
As an as for broadcasting, cover
Speaker 3 (59:02):
Boom
Jack The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Phil Harris and his Orchestra.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The Orchestrape is a program with all ah.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Just around the corner is June and hot summer days.
The call for crisp, tempting.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Salads and the best salads I know, I've called for Jello.
Try combining fresh vegetables or fruits with Jello for an
appetizing luncheon or supper salad. If you've never used Jello
in salads, you've missed a great bet for shimmering Jello
makes the most refreshing, zestful salad you ever served.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
And here's one suggestion.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Mold shredded cabbages, diced cucumbers, and celery and lemon jello,
serve on crisp let us with real mayonnaise, or make
a fresh fruit salad with orange jello. Why are there
any number of interesting salad combinations who can work out
for yourself using any one of Jello's six delicious flavors
and you'll enjoy them all. Or Jello has that extra
roots fruit flavor flavor that comes from the real white
(01:08):
fruit itself. But whether you serve jello as a salad
or as a dessert.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Always be sure.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
To get the real thing, genuine jello. And now, ladies
(01:39):
and gentlemen, let us hail the return of a man
who last week was flat on his back, but is
now standing here flat on his feet.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Jack Benny.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Gelo again as a Jack Benny, Remember the fellow who
wasn't here last Sunday. And I want to tell you something.
It's a good thing I've got flat feet, because I'm
still pretty shaky. I'd probably topple right over if they weren't.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Oh come on now, Jack, you weren't so terribly sick.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
I wasn't a and that's all you know about it
as it happens, I was critically ill.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
I didn't see any headlines in the papers about it.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Well, that's not my fall. I phoned them all next time,
I'll take out a nab.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, Jack, you certainly looked rest of that for a
whole week in bed? Did you get much sleep?
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Don How could I sleep with twelve flu germs playing
vingle on my chest, playing big Goh? Yeah, I didn't
mind that so much. But when they asked me to
call out the numbers, I thought I was falling, you know,
(02:51):
so I'm still pretty weak.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, you certainly don't look at Jack.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You're the picture of health. Now that's silly. Don take
a look at my tongue, man, I.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Don't see anything unusual. It's just a common, ordinary tongue.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Oh it is a well then I'm glad I stuck
it out at you. You're just jealous because I look
like Dracula.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
All right, all right, if it will make you any happier.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
You look lousy now you're talking. I'm glad you woke up.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Pardon me, mister Benny.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
It's time for your pill. Oh yes, thank you, doctor,
Thank you. Don I want you to meet doctor Baldi.
You know I'm I'm still under his care.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
How do you do?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Doctor?
Speaker 5 (03:38):
You could stand dieting young.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Man to see?
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Don his mind is all we Donna's worth. My nurse
is here too, she's waiting out in the hall.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Why don't you have her come?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Oh no, not with these orchestra boys around. They're wolves
and rented clothing.
Speaker 6 (03:56):
Hello Jack, I'm glad to see you back again.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Oh hello Mary. Thanks, Yeah, I sure had a tough
time this past week. You don't I look awful.
Speaker 6 (04:05):
I'll say you're as pale as a ghost goat.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You mean tale is a goat?
Speaker 6 (04:10):
Well this goat is dead.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh oh, a goat goes. Well that was bad thinking.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
What I say?
Speaker 4 (04:16):
That was bad thinking? Oh?
Speaker 6 (04:18):
I thought you were talking about the ghosts.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I was.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
The Mary. I want to thank you for those lovely
roses you sent me. They were beautiful, were they? Yeah,
that's the first time I've ever seen a third of
a dozen the Mary. I did notice that the roses
were quite limp and droopy.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
There.
Speaker 4 (04:42):
What happened?
Speaker 6 (04:43):
I knew you were sick till I boil them.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well, it's a good idea. You can't be too careful there, Oho, Kenny, Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Jack, See you look to Laurel and hearty.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
That's tail and hardy. But let it go. Oh that's
all right. The next time I'm sick, don't wire congratulates.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Well it worked on Mother's Day.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Well, let's not get involved in that, you know, Benny,
is time for your medicine again? Oh yes, doctor, yes, Now,
first you take this red pill, and then you'll followed
with this white one.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Two of them this time, I say, what's the white
pil for?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
In case the red one is poison?
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Well, that's thoughtful. Isn't he an unusual doctor Verry?
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah? What are you taking case of him?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I wish I knew?
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Say, Jack, is that girl out in the haul your nurse?
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Who do you mean? That pretty blonde with a white.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Uniform and Phil Harris around her neck? Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Where'd you see her?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Out in the hall around Phil Harris's neck. I thought
you said Phil was around her neck? Hawthor all mixed up?
So that's why Phil sneaked out of here. I got
a good mind to go out there and put him
in his plate.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Oh, Jack, you're up on your feet now. Why don't
you stay that way?
Speaker 4 (05:58):
Yes? Maybe I better wait by myself again, you know.
Oh it's you. I ejact old boy. Glad to see
you back again. Thanks. What are you doing out in
the hall there, Phil? Well? I wasn't feeling so good,
so I had your nurse take my temperature. You did
a well, wipe it off your lips. What's that you
got in your hands? She wrote me out of prescription?
(06:19):
Oh yeah, what is it? Hillside? Five? Oh two seven?
Get me a bottle of that new anyway, it's time
for you to play a number, so get ready, okay,
And another thing, this nurse is here to take care
of me, so please stay away from her. I got
a temperature too quiet, Kenny, playfil oh nursy, nursy, Oh tut.
(08:28):
I was Bluelooth played by Phil Harris and my nerves
are his artists. And incidentally, Phil, I listened to you
last Sunday and I was home, you know, and your
especialty was very good. I didn't notice in yet, Thanks
my little buckaroo. Well did you hear me too, Jay parts?
I did? Kenny, I thought you did a swell job.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Please me.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
I was all in.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I had to sing three songs.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Oh what a strange three songs in one week. I
don't think how you did it. I bet it'll tell
on me when I get older. Oh, no doubt, say Mary.
That reminds me. Why didn't you work last Sunday?
Speaker 6 (09:04):
To me?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Oh, I wasn't feeling so good. I had fever and
chills and pains and a headache. Oh so we all
went to the crocodiarrol.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
And then quite a party. Yeah it comes Une, Yeah,
say Dak, tell us the truth.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Did you get a kick sitting home listening to your
own show?
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Yes? I did, Don and I'm going to tell you something,
but don't let it go to your head. When you
read the commercial and told everybody how to make jello, well,
it just did something to me. I tell you, Don,
I was electrified. Oh you're kidding, No, I'm not, And
don listen. Don. When you said look for the big
(09:42):
red letters on the box, as quick as I was,
I jumped right out of bed and looked for you did, yes, sir, Jack.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Didn't you love the way I said?
Speaker 4 (09:54):
There was only one jello and the trade mark is
You're guaranteed. Don. When I heard that, well, there was
a lump on my throat.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Don't you mean a lump in your throat?
Speaker 4 (10:04):
No? This was a nice bag. But John, the biggest
thrill I got all evening was when you mentioned the
different flavors. Really, Jack, absolutely. Of course, when you started
out with strawberry, raspberry and cherry, that didn't affect me
so much. But when you got to orange, I felt
myself slipping. And by the time you reached lime. What happened?
(10:26):
I was in another world.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
You were and snoring twice as loud as ever before.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I was not mister Bennett's time for another pill. Oh yes, doctor, yes,
here you are a pretty blue one.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Hey, wait a minute, this is a button.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
Oh goodie, I've been looking for that all week.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
Oh answer the phone, Mary, If that's my father, tell
him it's in the mail.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Okay, hello, yes, oh hello mama.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Oh it's her again.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Yes, yes, mamma, yours is in the mail too.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Uh what? Oh?
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Jack is feeling much better. No, mamma, I won't get
too close to him.
Speaker 4 (11:12):
They think I have measles or something.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Yes, mamma, Jack's gonna take a vacation in.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
A few weeks.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
We all are.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
Why no, no, no, mamma, you can't. That's impossible.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
What does you want, Mary?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
Mama wants to take over the summer show.
Speaker 4 (11:35):
Tell her no, I'll never be able to follow her.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
Uh oh, mama, he says, he'll never be able to
follow you.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Why what are you laughing at?
Speaker 6 (11:47):
She says, you won't even be able to follow this
phone call? Oh, matching with uh, well, good bye, Mama,
Thanks for calling. I'll write your letter tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Why.
Speaker 6 (11:58):
Oh that's too bad? Well good, isn't that awful?
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Jack?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
I won't be able to write letters home anymore?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (12:05):
Papa's raising pigeons in the mailbox.
Speaker 4 (12:12):
I'll send her my dove or my love and now
who And now, folks, that's about the worst gag I've
ever pulled at it. And now folks that Mary's mother
has had her little fling. Kenny Baker will sing, what
are you going to sing? Kenny? I'll think of something.
Well think Kenny, playboys.
Speaker 8 (12:45):
Whenever he's under That was in my and Pucky.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
All along you.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Were gray labrainy day for in by what it tease
that pel or was it ray?
Speaker 9 (13:31):
Then we school has lobberso di logging bring your pain?
Speaker 8 (13:41):
Wa it tease that pel or was it ray? Could
tell if you're as were miste or if you fell
be gray. I know a friend, you chick that both
(14:05):
your cheek.
Speaker 9 (14:15):
We meet again, my sweet that memory will remain, Oh.
Speaker 8 (14:27):
It tea motell?
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Oh Kenny Baker singing was it rained from the hip parade?
(14:58):
And Kenny, I must tell you last I heard you
sing that number you wrote, what's the name of it? Again?
You are my love that said it was beautiful. I'll
have to play it on my violin sometimes.
Speaker 8 (15:09):
Oh Jack, it's my first song.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
Well let it grow up before you kill it.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
You two have a lot of respect for an invalid
and our ladies and gentlemen for our feature attraction this
evening for our dramatic socko, where are going to present
an original mystery melodrama, a thrilling and blood curdling adventure
entitled Death at Midnight or the Murder Case. Now. I
(15:51):
will play the part of Detective o' benny, who always
gets his man. Bill Harris will be my assistant who
always get your girl quiet. Now, this is a murder mystery.
Mary Livington will be the wife of the murder ree
and Kenny Baker will be the victim.
Speaker 6 (16:12):
Oh jeeus, no future nap, I'm going to be your wife?
Speaker 4 (16:16):
What have I guys? Please? And last but not finnis
is Don Wilson who will be the butler. However, before
presenting our mystery, folks, let me give you a brief
synopsis of what has happened up to now. On the
night of May third, a d after dinner, mister j Wellington.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Croftsmere Wellington, yet a social Line.
Speaker 4 (16:37):
Was found murdered in his den. At the time of
the murder, his wife was in the room reading a
copy of Live Alone and Like It, which may have
thrown her apot. The victim was playing solitaire when suddenly
he was interrupted by a lead Tibbetzer. Now who committed
(16:58):
this crime? Was it the butler?
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
Was it the French maid?
Speaker 8 (17:05):
A corpse?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Was it bing Crosbie? No, but he mentioned my name
last week? And now the wife, missus Crossmare, did you
kill your husband?
Speaker 6 (17:17):
I hated him, I loaded him, I despise him.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
So that night I saw we can't give it away now,
but this mystery will go on immediately after the next number.
Playfail and make it snappy. Our listeners must be on
the edge of their seats, don't fall off or run
(19:06):
away from played by Phil Harrison his orchestra. Now, ladies
and gentlemen for our mystery, play Murder at Midnight or
when my green Boat comes home. The old Thing scene
is the authors of Detective O Benny at Police headquarters.
Curtains phone call, I mean musy, Hello, police headquarters.
Speaker 5 (19:40):
Let me talk to Detective Obnny.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
That's me.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
What is it?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
My name is Jay Wellington.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Krutzmeres.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
There's nothing I can do about that that's on your mind.
I got a hunch I'm going to be murdered. Or
makes you think.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
So my wife is always playing a gun at me,
but she pulls the trigger.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Let me know, all right? Goodbye, goodbye? Anything wrong?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Cap?
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh, some fellow thinks he's going to be murdered? Is he?
I hope not. The boys are delivering beer in the
patrol wagon. I said, hello, de technive, old Benny speaking.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
This is missus Krossmere. Were you just talking to my husband?
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Yes, nice Chap, he sure was. Now what do you
mean come.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Over at one? I think he's been shot?
Speaker 4 (20:26):
Your husband' shock? What makes you think? So?
Speaker 6 (20:28):
He's laying on the floor and there's an extra buttonhole
in his shirt.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
There is? He? Well, I'll be right over and don't
make any more buttonhole? So I get there.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
Okay, Cap brings some white rock right.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
By. What happened? Cap Krotsmeir was right, SOA's Barnum, Yes,
and they're both dead. Boy, we gotta do something about that.
You take Barnum and I'll take Cropsman. No, you take
Barnum and I'll take Krossmere, Barnum, Krossmor, Kratsmere, Barnum. Let's
follow the whole thing. Ah, No, we can't do that.
We gotta get over there. At once an investigates hallow
(21:04):
me hera right o, cap they carry the office, lieutenant. Okay,
come on, sarge, let's go better take your health for us.
Mister Benny, all right, Doc hame on cards for all
Old Benny rides again. Well here we are, hard. This
(21:28):
is a place, all right. Hold up in the name
of the law. This is police headquarters. Dog Connor, I
forgot to release the break. Well let's try again. This
(21:54):
will be the place, hard, it better be. We're out
of gas. Hold up, open the door, I'll break it down.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well, good easy, gentlemen.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
Good evening. Eh, make a note of that, sard Okay,
cap here the butler, aren't you? How do you know?
Your uniform is a dead giveaway? How come on you?
Where's the body you mean?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Mister Crossmer's yeah, he's right there on the floor.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Follow me is hard? Yeah, man, musicians are all alike?
Who say, wait a minute? Are you and missus Crossmeyer?
Speaker 6 (22:34):
No? I am the nade.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
Yeah, what's your name? Your last name? Poo poo he
pee pooh pooh we we we we making note of
that sort targan uh huh. I bring missus Cropsmere in
(23:00):
here here.
Speaker 6 (23:01):
I am calf. That is a fiddle and ready for
a new husband.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Oh yeah, I want to talk to you, madam.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
Go ahead, blue coat, take a load off your feet
and sit down.
Speaker 4 (23:11):
Thanks out. What's the matter of cat. I've been looking
for that badge all day? Oh now, missus Crossmere, where
were you at the time of the murder?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
He's back of the gun minding my own business.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Oh yeah, did have a gun age? Yes? Where'd you
buy the bullet at Bullet's Wilshire. That's a local gag, Polpe.
But the fix, Alice, missus trotsmeure. I want the whole story.
Are you right from the stock? And I want the truth?
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Get at the truth, okay, Bloodhounds. My husband and I
were sitting in the gyms. He was behind his desk
cleaning his pipe. Yes, here's gone, when suddenly a shot
rang out.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
I looked toward the window and there I saw beg pardon, madam,
Why are we having jell o for dinner?
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Yes, cankins, any particular.
Speaker 6 (24:02):
Flavor, A little of each and make sure that it's
genuine yellow, the big red letters on the.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Box making all of that. Sorry, got your bow. I'll
go ahead, missus, trustmer. What did you see well.
Speaker 6 (24:14):
I looked out of the window and they're in the moonlight.
I saw shadows running across the lawn.
Speaker 4 (24:18):
Oh moonlight, and shadows must have been making a dash
for the hip parade, making all of that. Sorry, ain't
worth it? And then what happened? Missus Krossmere?
Speaker 6 (24:31):
I screamed the fire too?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
Shots? Two shots? I thought you were lying, amicton, gad,
you're coming with me? And what's more, you're coming without
a struggle.
Speaker 6 (24:40):
I never struggled, Yes, big boy.
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Then slap the brakeless on bars.
Speaker 8 (24:53):
Now let's go.
Speaker 4 (24:56):
I wait a minute, hold everything, No one moved. Then
time for another pill, mister Benny. I haven't got time
for that, doc, I get out of here. Come on,
Sarge and take Missus Crossmere with you.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
What is that.
Speaker 4 (25:13):
Look, Sarge? Come on through a stone through the window. Yes, Captain,
there's a note tied around us.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
I know.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
Hey, what does it say? He'll SiGe five O two seven?
That nurse again? She sure gets her wrong. Come on,
let's go. Wait a minute, Stargs, Wait a minute, there's
a phone. Maybe it's a clue. I'll take it. Hello, Yes, yes,
(25:37):
what who tactic? Faith talk corner? We got the wrong
last page.
Speaker 7 (25:48):
What do I do now?
Speaker 1 (25:56):
This will be concluded next Sunday night for the murder beast.
Will they find the right page? We'll text doctor run
out of pills. Listen in next Sunday night and find
out play pill. Dessert is a great favorite with everybody.
(26:24):
And here's a dessert that's everybody's favorite. Ice Cream made
with yellow ice cream powder, the new way to have
rich yellow ice cream more quickly, more easily, more economically.
Or yellow ice cream powder makes delicious, creamy ice cream,
the kind with the real old fashioned homemade flavor. Yet
you actually use less cream and get more ice cream,
(26:46):
and you make it right in the freezing trays of
your refrigerator, or if you prefer, you'll get the same
wonderful results with an ordinary hand freezer. All you do
is combine yellow ice cream powder with milk, some cream,
and sugar, and you'll soon have a quart and a.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Half of smooth, mellow ice cream.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
An economical I'll say it is why one package of
yellow ice cream powder makes one and a half quarts
of ice cream, twice as much as most other such
products on the market. So serve ice cream made with
yellow ice.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Cream powder soon. There are five rich delicious flavors chocolate.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Vanilla, strawberry, lemon, and maple. And there is unflavored too,
so that you can make any flavored ice cream you want.
Ask your grocer tomorrow for several packages of Yello ice
cream powder.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
This is the last number of the thirty fifth program
in the New Jello Series. We'll with you again next
Sunday night, when we will finish our thrilling mystery. So
be sure and listen in. Come Mary, You're going home.
Speaker 6 (28:36):
Take my handcuffs off first.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Oh yes, that's right. Good Nightfall, Thank.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
The kiln.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Come run away from laves from the King, Marie.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
The Jello Program comes here from.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Hollywood over the Red Network of a national broadcasting company.
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and
(29:28):
Phil Harris and his Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
The Orchestra is a program with when here's a news
bulletin for everybody, a news.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Bulletin about everybody's favorite dessert, Jello. Now on every package
of Jello you will find one or more exciting new
Jello recipes printed clearly right on top.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
This is done to help you enjoy Jello in any
number of new.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Different ways or Jellos certainly of versatile dessert. Just listen
to the names of some of the recipes on the
Jello packages. Pineapple snow, date and celery salad, raspberry tarts,
cinnamon crystal dessert.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
They're all made with Jello. And there are just a
few of the many suggestions for varying your main us.
So whenever you buy Jello, look for these recipes and
you'll be sure to.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Find some delicious new suggestions for serving America's most popular dessert.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
And no matter how many ways you serve it.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
You'll always enjoyed Jello's extra rich fruit flavor, flavor that
come from real ripe fruit. But always be sure you
get the real thing. Look for the big bread letters
on the box. They spell Jello. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
(31:07):
we bring to the man who has thrown away his medicine,
hot water bottle and doctor Bill's Jack Benny.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Jelo again. This is Jack Benny talking, and don I
want to tell you something. I may be okay physically,
but mentally I'm a mess to night. I'm so nervous
that I well, I don't know what I'm doing. Where's Phil?
Speaker 2 (31:32):
You didn't get here?
Speaker 4 (31:32):
Yet, Why, Thank Heaven?
Speaker 2 (31:34):
What's the matter, Jack?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
What's wrong? Don Don you know that beautiful diamond wristwatch
Phil gave me for Christmas?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (31:41):
Well I lost it, lost it, yes, and I just
can't bear to face Phil without it. But if he
comes in and asks me what time it is, I'll swoon.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Dob Jack, Jack, don't get excited. There must be some
way to find it.
Speaker 8 (31:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
When did you last wash your hands?
Speaker 4 (31:58):
Oh? I've had the watch since then? Gee, I miss it.
I used to get so much exercise winding.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
It, you know.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Oh, it'll turn up. Don't worry about it.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Don't worry. Look at my fingernails. Look at them. I
don't see any of course not. They're home on the floor.
I tell you, Don, I'm a wreck. Oh hello, Mary,
Hello Mary? Did you put that ad in the paper
from my watch like I told you to?
Speaker 6 (32:23):
Yes, Jack, I brought your coffee of it.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
What does it say?
Speaker 6 (32:25):
It says notice Jack Fenny's watch lost straight or hawks
hawk when last scene was wearing.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
A writ Well, Mary, you should have put it in
a description of it.
Speaker 6 (32:37):
I did here. It is large mole on minute hand
and face needs washing.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
It's a fine description.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
Finder.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
Please return to return to war.
Speaker 6 (32:48):
That's all the money I had.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Well, it's a lucky thing. I had my name on it.
I only hope I get the watch back before Phil
gets here.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Jack, don't let it pray on your mind tomorrow. Now
let's change the subject.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
That's a good idea. Say, Mary, have you started your watch?
I mean, have you started your picture for Paramount yet? Oh?
Speaker 6 (33:07):
Sure, I've been on it a whole week now, and
I'm getting the biggest pick out of it.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Well I can imagine, you know, don this is her
first picture. It's called this Way Please.
Speaker 6 (33:16):
Well, good luck to you, Mary, Thanks John, same to me.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
How's the script?
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Mary?
Speaker 4 (33:21):
Have you have you got a good part? Oh? Jack?
Speaker 6 (33:23):
You should see the director. He's tall, dark and has
the most agorable accent.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
I know, Mary, but what about your lines? I mean
your part and the pictures and the camera man?
Speaker 6 (33:33):
Has he got the duckiest dimples?
Speaker 4 (33:35):
The duckiest Yeah?
Speaker 6 (33:37):
He had me behind the camera all day yesterday.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
How can you make pictures behind the camera?
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Who cares?
Speaker 4 (33:43):
He's cute? Well, you certainly get around. I bet you've
met the janitor.
Speaker 6 (33:48):
I'll say, brown eyes, baggy pants, and the blondest broom.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
All right, Mary, that's enough.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Hey Jack Roight, have you forgotten about your watch?
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Hey? What are you trying to do anyway? Now I'm
all upset again. I'll bet that's Phil. Now you can't
kid me. It's Kenny Baker. Oh hello, Kenny.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Hello, what's the matter with you?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Jack?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
You look so calm and excited.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
Well you're half right, and that's a record for you.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Well, if you must know, Kenny, I lost that beautiful
wristwatch Phil gave me for Christmas and I can't find
it anywhere.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Did you look on your wrist?
Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah, it's Kenny, and it's not fair. Well, maybe it's lost, Yes, Kenny,
that's the idea. I lost my watch and I don't
know where to look for it. Gee. If it was
a collar button, you could look under the dresser, Oh
I could. Uh yeah.
Speaker 6 (34:43):
And if you were an old maid you could look
under the bed.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
Well. I won't even answer that, Jack.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Your watch will turn up. I take it easy.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
Gee. If that's Phil Harris, I'll die. Come in, mister Benny.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yes, I understand you lost a very valuable diamond wrist watch.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
Yes I did. Have you seen it not lately?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Goodbye?
Speaker 4 (35:05):
God, I wish you'd set some yellow out in the
hall for that guy. We might trap him. Playboy Bamber
(36:30):
and very good, boys, very good, especially without your leader,
(37:09):
say don don While the boys were playing, did anyone
come in or call about the watch?
Speaker 2 (37:14):
No, and stop worrying about it, Jack, you're too sensitive.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Well of course I'm sensitive. Yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:18):
Jack wouldn't even bait a fishhook without giving the worm either.
Speaker 4 (37:22):
Well, I certainly wouldn't, believe me. Do you ever notice
the look in a worm's eyes when you're about to
put him on the hook. He just seems to say,
take it easy, bud. Not through the vertebrate people don't
realize it, you know.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Jack, I had a pet worm once.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
See I miss him? A pet worm? What happened to him?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
He ran away with an apple?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
Oh well, that's the trouble with worms. You can't trust him.
Speaker 6 (37:53):
I never saw one yet that wouldn't carry on.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
You ain't it the truth? But they're smart though, you know.
You know I knew a worm once that used to
get up late just to fool the early birds.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh maybe he didn't know about daylight saving time?
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Oh yes he did, John, Yes he did. It would
be surprised how clever those little fellows are. They might
wiggle around while they're doing nothing, but believe me, they're thinking, thinking,
all the time. Yes, sir, answer the phone, Mary. Maybe
(38:29):
it's news about the watch, would it okay? Hello?
Speaker 6 (38:34):
Yes, yes, yes he did, Mary.
Speaker 4 (38:38):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (38:40):
Oh, yes, he'll be very happy, that's all it's.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
On his mind.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
What a relief.
Speaker 6 (38:44):
He's right here. Yeah, it's for you, Don.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Hello.
Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yes, yes, madam.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
You can always tell genuine jello by those big red letters.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
On the box.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Find time to call up about that.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Yes, yes, yes, you will find that it taste twice
as good as ever before, with its six delicious flavors strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange,
lemon and lime.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
I'm claiming in line.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You're welcome, Adam.
Speaker 4 (39:10):
Goodbye. Don. I wish you'd keep your romantic affairs off
of this program, but it was business. Oh business sure,
with you gushing all over the phone. And it's your
age too. Telegram for Jack Benny. Hey, maybe that's good
news about the watch. He was from merry with so
here boy. Yeah, I hope it's jacket from your father?
Oh Dad, what does he say?
Speaker 8 (39:31):
Dear Stun?
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Is your watch insured or should I worry too.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Good old Dad always so practical.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
So Jack, I just happened to think to think of something.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Let me see, were you in any restaurants yesterday where
you might have lested your wife?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Huh, you're blushing, Don, that's the strawberry.
Speaker 8 (40:07):
What what did you ask me?
Speaker 3 (40:09):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (40:09):
I asked you, Jack?
Speaker 1 (40:10):
If you were at out of your restaurant yesterday where
you might have left your watch?
Speaker 3 (40:13):
Don?
Speaker 4 (40:14):
I always have enough money to pay my check.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Well, I mean where you could have mislaid it.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Let's see, I had lunch at the Biltmore and dinner
at the Ambassador and.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Come in pardon me, does mister Jack Benny broadcast from here?
Speaker 4 (40:30):
Yes, I'm Jack Benny. What is it?
Speaker 3 (40:32):
Did you possess something yesterday that you owned possesses today?
Speaker 4 (40:39):
Yes? Yes, my diamond wristwatch. What do you know about it?
Speaker 3 (40:42):
Nothing except I found it?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
You're dead? Well? Well, hey, that's a load off of
my mind given him me.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Now wait a minute, son, Wait a minute. First, we's
gonna have a financial skirmish.
Speaker 4 (40:57):
Oh, naturally, a reward. A reward, yes, now what would
you consider a fair amount?
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Well, you just shout out some figures and I'll hop
on one.
Speaker 4 (41:12):
Okay, now let me see. Shall we say ten dollars?
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Complete this?
Speaker 4 (41:21):
Well, maybe I can, Maybe I can do a little better.
Suppose I make it twelve and a half.
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Who listen to them fractions?
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Well, look, what do you say to fifteen dollars? It's fifteen?
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Okay, confidentially.
Speaker 4 (41:39):
Now hold on, you don't own the watch. You just
found it. I got it in it.
Speaker 6 (41:44):
Oh Jack, you were so anxious to get the watch back.
Why don't you give him what he wants?
Speaker 4 (41:48):
All right? How much do you want?
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Well, fifty dollars would make tomorrow Christmas?
Speaker 4 (41:53):
All right, I'll give you fifty dollars. Here goes my vacation. Folks,
I'll make you out of check right now.
Speaker 3 (42:00):
You ain't gonna give me no chickens.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
Well, let's not argue about it.
Speaker 7 (42:04):
I'll give you a cash. Wait till I open my pocketbook.
I'll have to oil laughter.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Oh look a butterfly flew out of Jack's pocketbook.
Speaker 6 (42:21):
That's am all right, young man.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Here's your money, thank you.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
So here's your watch? Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Oh by the way, young fellow, where did you find
mister Benny's watch in a restaurant?
Speaker 4 (42:31):
Oh? Yes, yes, the Ambassador.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
No, sir, this was the Acme hot Dog Parler. That's right,
that's right.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
I stopped there on my way to the Ambassador. I
went in to get a cigar.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
You was eating when I seen I was not well.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Goodbye, goodbye, young man, and thanks very much for finding
my watch. You know you must be pretty good at
finding things.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
I don't know about that.
Speaker 3 (42:58):
I never did find an Alba cookie.
Speaker 4 (43:03):
Oh it's you. Fifty dollars and five cents for a
hop dog. Oh well, as long as I got my
watch back, sing Kenny, is my heart?
Speaker 8 (43:36):
If you love.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
Me, love me, love.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
You?
Speaker 8 (43:53):
I burnt call a man, let my fall and tell you.
Speaker 3 (44:22):
Is the night of me blue.
Speaker 8 (44:30):
As your eyes are blue? Bra is the night if
you love me, love me, I love you? Oh notes, listen,
(45:03):
let me say is the night of b.
Speaker 4 (45:15):
Me you.
Speaker 8 (45:19):
As you lie here you bra is the night if
you love love me and the love you is one.
Speaker 4 (45:49):
One that was blue was the night, sung by Kenny Baker,
(46:10):
and very good, well it was it was you.
Speaker 7 (46:15):
You certainly can hit.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
Those high notes, say Kenny, how can you tell when
you've reached your highest note? Oh?
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I just take a deep breath, and when I can
see my necktie.
Speaker 4 (46:23):
I quit. Well that's a good system, and besides, I
ought to have my head examined for asking you. And now,
ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
The extractor comes.
Speaker 8 (46:36):
Phil.
Speaker 4 (46:36):
Oh well, remember everybody, not a word about the watch.
I don't want to know what happened. Hello Phil, Hello Jack,
I'm terribly sorry. I'm late. I overslept and I had
a flat tire at the same time. Well, hell but
it But it's all right, Phil. That can happen to anybody.
(46:58):
Ge aren't you mad? No? No, as a matter of fact,
I'm glad you're late. Say what is this anyway? Don't
tell him pole?
Speaker 6 (47:06):
Oh Jack, what time is it now?
Speaker 4 (47:08):
Mary? I told you, didn't you? Now cut it out?
What's all excitement?
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Jack?
Speaker 4 (47:13):
Well, I hate to break it to you, Phil, but
the cats out of the bag. I may as well
tell you I lost the watch? What was what? Watch?
The watch you gave me for Christmas? But I got
it back. Oh that's good. Hello Kenny, And after the
(47:34):
way I worried. Oh, well, on with the show. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, for our dramatic offerings tonight, I mean
our psd resisting We will attempt to solve the baffling
mystery which we began last week entitled Death at Midnight
once Again. I will be Captain o'benny. It's fearless of
(47:55):
bloodhound has ever sniffed the clue? Phil Harris will be
my assistant first, and Mary Livingston will be Missus Crossmere,
who was suspected of murdering her husband, played by Kenny Baker.
You bore me Blue Code, Watch Out or Algria. I'm
practicing my pot, folks, I see Kenny. Why are you
laying down on the floor.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
I'm practicing my part?
Speaker 4 (48:16):
Too well done? Get stepped on. I would have got
a red letter on my chest. So the death of
this night we're go on immediately after the next number
play Pille and Honey the boys make a pause, move,
I'll shoot. I'm practicing too, folks. That was Dardanella I think,
(50:07):
played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. And now for
our play Death at Midnight or can't you hear me
calling Caroline? As you may remember last week, mister j
Wellington Cropsmere was found murdered in his den. His wife
was in the room at the time, but claims she
had nothing to do with it. Captain o'bnny was called in,
(50:28):
but up to now he was unable to get anywhere
with the crime or Missus Cropsmere, the latter causing him
considerable annoyance. As a scene opened, we find Detechnive obnny
and Sergeant Harris at police headquarters. Curtain Newton got the phone.
(50:58):
Cap It ain't the good humor man, Hi'll answer Hello
Police Headquarters, Catlow Benny speaking, come over once. I'm going
to be murdered. Get away from that four.
Speaker 7 (51:13):
I'll let you have it.
Speaker 4 (51:19):
All right, goodbye? What's wrong?
Speaker 2 (51:27):
Cap?
Speaker 4 (51:28):
Oh? Some family spat. We got to settle this Crocksmere
case first, anything new on it? No, but I got
a hunch there's a man in the case. You know that,
saying Sirshay lafem Hello Police headquarters.
Speaker 6 (51:44):
Hello Tappy, this is missus Crossmayor. Yes, why don't you
come over and investigate my husband's murder.
Speaker 4 (51:50):
It's no use, I can't find any evidence.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
I'm dropped in anyway.
Speaker 4 (51:53):
I'm lonesome, Okay, you like tea? Yes, well, have a
cup and come over. I'll be right there. Come on, Sarge,
we gotta get over to missus krossmeres right away. I
think she's gilly and ready to crack. Where's my gun
in your coat? Where's my handcuff in your past? Where
am I in your pants? Fine, and we're all set.
(52:17):
Let's go. Here's the place, sarge, come on, open up
on free monsieur. Hello, peep, where's missus.
Speaker 6 (52:38):
Krosmere La dama chambrace?
Speaker 4 (52:42):
Oh tescase huh? I thought so, make it one of
that starge ble Now listen, see my name is Pepe.
While I'm in a hurry, you get Missus Krossmere down
here too, sweetie. Okay, did she come now?
Speaker 6 (53:13):
Good evening, jents. What's all the commotion?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Oh hello, missus Trutzmeyre. I'm here to find out who
killed your husband.
Speaker 6 (53:19):
Let's not talk. Shot Skippy, come over here on the
sofa and sit down.
Speaker 4 (53:26):
None of that, Missus trust mayor none of that. I
represent the long arm of the law.
Speaker 6 (53:29):
Well put it around me in relax.
Speaker 4 (53:33):
I haven't got time for that. I have pargan. Aren't
you ashamed of yourself?
Speaker 3 (53:43):
Not yet?
Speaker 4 (53:46):
Oh now, listen, Missus Trustmere. Your husband was murdered, and
as long as you won't talk, you are the only
one in the room at the time. There's only one
way to solve this. We'll reenact the crime me.
Speaker 6 (53:59):
You don't have to shoot him again.
Speaker 4 (54:02):
Quiet, I'll find out my own way. Go get your gas,
I get my guy.
Speaker 6 (54:08):
What I got my gas?
Speaker 4 (54:11):
Go? Then let's cop daddy. I mean, let's get going.
I'll be missus Cross Mayer and you stand over there
and fire at me. But Cap, she's allowed to kid
you don't worry. Go ahead and shoot Missus Cross Mayor.
I got my bulletproof vest on. Okay, out god, I
forgot the button. Take it over of that stard one
(54:32):
two button your vest I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this. Missus Cross Mayer, you murdered your husband.
Speaker 6 (54:38):
You might as well admit I told you I bumped
him off.
Speaker 3 (54:41):
Don't evade the question.
Speaker 6 (54:43):
Come clean now, all right, then, I didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (54:46):
I'm sold.
Speaker 4 (54:56):
Now listen you. Oh I'm not. I'm going home.
Speaker 6 (54:59):
Lay down, Kenny, Yes, takes the holiday.
Speaker 4 (55:03):
Come on, sister, no wise crack hey Tarry, Yeah, caplet's
give her one more cance come fastcause you don't do
it this time. We'll give her the third degree.
Speaker 8 (55:10):
Look out camp for gow.
Speaker 4 (55:14):
What was that someone threw the butler through the window,
the butler. Yeah, and there's a notpany's hands. No, what
does it say? It says that Cello is the finest
tasting jelatin dessert in the world, and every day millions
of people eatings. Hang on with that message.
Speaker 2 (55:30):
Let's be a cold.
Speaker 4 (55:32):
Do you know anything about this? This cross mirror?
Speaker 6 (55:34):
What are you torturing me for? Cap I told her
I killed him, didn't I I couldn't stand it any longer, so.
Speaker 4 (55:39):
I shot him.
Speaker 6 (55:40):
I shot him dead.
Speaker 4 (55:42):
You breakdown? Why did you murder your husband?
Speaker 6 (55:48):
I killed him because I loved him.
Speaker 8 (55:49):
You loved your husband?
Speaker 4 (55:50):
No?
Speaker 6 (55:51):
The iceman?
Speaker 4 (55:53):
Oh so that today? Why didn't you kill the iceman?
Speaker 6 (55:55):
Wait? Do you look at the icebox?
Speaker 4 (55:59):
That's all I want to know. Plots of bracest on here, sergeant,
let's go Wait a minute. Oh everything, No one moved.
I mean, pardon me, but I'm looking for a guy
by the name of Jack Fenny. I'm Jack Benny. But
you'll have to wait. I'm right in the middle of
a play. Well, I don't know anything about that.
Speaker 1 (56:18):
Have you got a diamond wristwatch with a platinum band?
Speaker 8 (56:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (56:21):
Bill Harri gave it to me for a present last Christmas,
Dad's the one.
Speaker 3 (56:25):
Hand it over.
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Now, wait a minute, who are you. I'm from the
credit jewelry store. And the payments on that watch haven't
been kept up. Oh when was the last payment made?
Speaker 3 (56:37):
A week after Christmas?
Speaker 4 (56:39):
Now, come on give me that watch. Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, Oh pel hell, good night folk, pl
pl pail.
Speaker 8 (56:48):
Come on give me that watch.
Speaker 1 (56:49):
Here it is of all the cheap, low four flushing
star playboys.
Speaker 4 (56:54):
By the most contemptible, humiliating thing I've ever heard of.
To give me a watch.
Speaker 1 (57:09):
There's one dessert that always gets a grand reception.
Speaker 2 (57:12):
Just listen to this.
Speaker 1 (57:14):
It's ice cream, the creamy, delicious kind made with yellow
ice cream powder.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Ice Cream made this modern way is rich.
Speaker 1 (57:21):
And mellow, and you make it more quickly, more easily,
and much more economically. Or with yellow ice cream powder,
you actually use less cream and get more ice cream,
and you make it right in the freezing trays of
your refrigerator.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
Or you can use an ordinary hand freezer and get
the same marvelous results.
Speaker 1 (57:38):
Just combine yellow ice cream powder, milk, some cream and sugar,
and soon you'll have a quart and a half of smooth,
velvety ice cream.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
For that real homemade flavor.
Speaker 1 (57:48):
One package of yellow ice cream powder makes a quart
and a half of ice cream, twice as much as
most other such products you can buy. Yellow ice cream
powder comes in five flavors, rich, chocolate, vanillay, lemon.
Speaker 2 (58:00):
And maple.
Speaker 1 (58:01):
There is unflavored too, so that you can make ice
cream and any other flavor you want. Ask your grocer
tomorrow for several packages of yellow ice cream powder.
Speaker 4 (58:20):
The last number of the thirty six program in the
new Yellow Series. We'll with you again next Sunday night
at the same time. Of course, I'll have to guess
at the time.
Speaker 6 (58:28):
Say Jack, what, don't worry about the watch?
Speaker 4 (58:31):
Oh, it isn't the watch. Mary the besides, I gave
that sello fifty dollars for finding it. That's Bill Harris
of all the meanest seacol false friends.
Speaker 6 (58:41):
Night, folks, I've heard.
Speaker 1 (58:56):
The Yellow Program comes from you from Hollywood over the
Red Network.
Speaker 2 (58:59):
As an as for broadcasting, cover
Speaker 3 (59:02):
Boom
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