August 28, 2025 • 27 mins
Step back in time with "Jack Benny," one of the most beloved comedians in radio history. His sharp wit, endearing personality, and hilarious routines made his show a staple of American entertainment. Tune in for a hearty dose of laughter and nostalgia, perfect for fans of classic comedy and vintage radio.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis Day.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And Yours Truly Don Wilson.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The Orchestra opens a program with ma He's making eyes
at me Here, Ladies and gentlemen are two of the
most welcome sights in the world. The fat, saucy robin
hopping on the lawn, first happy sign of spring, and
(00:29):
that perfect dessert for spring, a shimmering.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Mold of rich, radiant Jello.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, Jello is a gay, tempting treat with brilliant flower
like colors that promise a true feast of flavor and
keep that.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Promise in a big way.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
It's simply full of grand, exciting goodness that makes friends
quickly and keeps them long. And when you serve anyone
of Jello's six delicious flavors, you can be sure everybody
will like it, because Jello has a delightful, refreshing taste
as inviting as a frist ripe fruit itself. So folks
enjoy this rich, striking dessert just as off and as
you can help yourself to happy meals by always asking
(01:03):
for Jello, and when you buy, be sure to look
for those big red letters on the box. They spell jello,
and the jello spells a perfect.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Dessert that lies ma.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
He's making eyes at me, played by the orchestra. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this is the
beginning of spring. Tiny blades of grass are peeping through
the soil. Blossoms are bursting into bloom. The harsh winds
of winter have changed to soft, balmy breezes. So, without
further ado, we bring.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You a man who is still wearing his long.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Ease, Jack Benny.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Geelong Again, this is Jack Danny talking. And Don, I
don't mind you're kidding about my age, or my dramatic ability,
or my working pictures, or a lot of other things.
But I think that my underwear is my own business.
Is there nothing sacred around here? Heavens? But Jack, spring
is here.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Don't you think you ought to change into your shorts?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Don? This is only the first week in April. When
the butterflies come out of their cocoon. I'll come out
of mine. Until then, I'm taking no chance. Now, Jack,
aren't you being just a little overcautious? The winners are
smiled out here.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
He's right, Jackson, You're the only guy in southern California
that wears long underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
What did you say, corn Fuchies, What was that?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I said, you're the only guy in southern California that
wears long underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Oh yeah, did you ever see Tyrone powers backyard on
a Monday morning? Don't tell me os Anabella And another
thing Phil, Oh, hello Mary, Hello Jack? Another thing Phil
that reminds me. I wish you stop running around telling
everybody that I wear pajamas with feet in him. Well
(03:15):
you do, don't you. That was one night when I
forgot to take off my inner sock. Yes, one inner socks.
My goodness, Jack, what's the idea of wearing two pair
of socks?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
He bought some big shoes cheap.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
I wait a minute, fell us wait him and a
Don started out with a beautiful poetic introduction about blades
of grass and blossoms on the trees and bomby breezes.
So let's stay in the move.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
You're right, Yah, spring is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
I'll say it is.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
You know.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
I was at my yard this morning and I saw
the cut little Robin. See he was see I love Robin,
and he just got in from the south. How do
you know he wasn't unpacked yet.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Now cut it off. Heaven Sebbetty, you have to make
a gag out of everything, isn't there isn't there any
romance in this crowd at all. I was up all night.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
If that's what you mean, I.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Don't mean that. I'm talking about spring birds, nature flowers.
See doesn't a buttercup mean anything to you? Phil? Yeah,
but don't let it get around I won't, no kidding, fellaws.
That's the season of the year when we should have
joy in our hearts. We should be happy and gay.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
I'm happy, mister Benny.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I know you are. Dennis, You're always happy.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
What a malt his head would make Mary?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Believe me, it's a real pleasure to have one person
around here that's contented and glad he's working for me.
That kid's gonna get a raise.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
What are you gonna do? Let him stand on a
box now.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I'm not gonna let him hand in a box. I'm
gonna give Dennis an increase in salary.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
I've heard that too, Dennis. Don't go out and buy
a car now, just.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
A second, Phil, I don't know what you're complaining about.
Remember that day you came to me looking for a
job four years ago. Mister Benny you said, you called
me mister Benny. Then, mister Benny, you said, please put
me to work on your program. My beer garden job
is all right, but I want to improve me. I
(05:06):
want to get somewhere. Remember that, Phil, Yes, But and
I said to you, cheer up, young man, I'll take
you under my wings. Well, Phil, I've kept my word
and you've been with me ever since. That's true, Jackson,
But I still think that I'm not getting them up.
Dull listen, Phil, listen to me. Always be loyal and
(05:26):
always be true to those who have toiled and struggled
for you. It isn't the salary or money you get.
It's the smile of a friend that counts. You can
bet for Benny's your path, your buddy, your friend. He
won't let it down. He'll stick to the end. So
if it's money you want, pal speak up. That's all,
(05:47):
and I'll have a new orchestra beginning next four. Applause.
Thank you, Now, marry your next. Have you any complaints
to make, young ladies, No.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Jack, it's wonderful working for you. It's heaven, it's paradise.
Size are all blue.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
You're so sweet and charming and you never irk. But
in spite of all this, I think you're up now.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Done, done done. Have you anything to complain about?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Oh Jack, I'm happy here working for you. There's no
other thing that I would rather do. I'm glad to
be able to stand up and shout that jello so.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Tempting it melt in your mouth? Is it easy to make? Don? Oh?
Tell us pray do not only that it's economical too.
Then what should I tell my dear cousin moulser tell
him to run to his neighborhood grocer. Well we dragged
that in beautifully, and now let us hear from our
own Dennis day. Have you got a song something mellow
(06:53):
or gay? Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Yes, or I haven't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
It's really brand new.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Well go ahead, swing it, come on, let it go
or go.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Thing?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Dennis, doesn't spring make you silly folk?
Speaker 6 (07:14):
There lies my kind of country from the life, and
we're heading fall. Oh time a stay with me and
night my kind of country once more? There is my
(07:42):
kind of people. Were I con smiles, thrive and rave
oll time, ari ricles tiny eesy, I kind of contree.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Rattle hole. Maybe nine more miles baby, may I re
if I.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
I kind of contreek traddle home, traddle home, maybe nine
more miles.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Maybe may I no kind of n h very good,
(09:09):
nner very good. That was my kind of country. Written
by Frank Lesser and Jimmy McHugh for that forthcoming Paramount picture,
Buck Benny Rides Again, stirring Phil Harrison, Thanks for the plug.
Now wait a minute, Phil, let's straighten this out right now.
You're not the star of Buck Benny Rides Again. I
stand out in it, don't I. You stand out in
(09:30):
that picture about as much as an oyster in Chesapeake Bay.
In other words, Son, you could be left out entirely
and out of fact. The plots, the link, the suspense,
the ride up, the audience, and you take it from there.
A fine star by the way, Jack run, Will the
picture be finished? Oh we're through with the don fact.
I have a little surprise for you. Buck Benny is
(09:51):
going to have his world premiere in New York in
a couple of weeks, and we're all going, oh, yes, sir,
what are we leaving?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Jack?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
All right after next Sunday show, we're going to do
two broadcast there. Wait till a big city gets a
load of me in my ten gallon hat.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, Jack, that's the kind of a heat man part
you've always wanted to play, So he finally made it.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Huh. Yes, And I don't want to brag or anything down,
but I think I make a pretty good cowboy.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Oh Jack, tell him about the trouble you had with
your horse?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
You mean abdols?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
What I ham? That animal was? He tried to steal
every scene from me. Why didn't you turn him around
so he wouldn't face the camera?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
He did, and the horse still had more personality than Jack.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
He did not. But you should have seen that horse,
don He was always looking right in the camera and
flashing those teeth of his. What an animal? Well, why
didn't you do the same thing, because in the first place,
filled my teeth aren't as big as a horse's.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
You could have ordered them any size you wanted.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
That so was you were just making things up, Mary,
because if I have false teeth, how is it I
can crack nuts with him?
Speaker 5 (10:59):
You take him out?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
And all right, Mary, all right, you can get on
more subjects. We were talking about Buck Benny Rides Again.
That's a swell title for a picture. Mister Benny how'd
you happen to think of it? Well, you see, we
used to do a series of Dennis. Didn't you ever
listen to this program before you came to work on us,
didn't you? There goes my race? Well anyway, and you're right, Dennis. Anyway,
(11:26):
we used to do those Western plays and we call
them Buck Benny rides again. Oh boy, they were fun.
I used to be share of Buck Benny. I rooting
hooton shooting Hoot and Galuten Pig Newton. That was me.
And I used to be your deputy, remember.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
Yes, sir, when I was Daisy Parts and your sweetheart.
Remember how you'd always ride over to my house and
visit me.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Yeah, and we'd sit in the parlor and hold hands,
uh huh, and then you put the lights out, uh huh.
And then you'd chill your home movies.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Oh boy, was I romandy? And then there was your pathy.
Frank Carson, the town cutout, that was meful words my
jump dass. And didn't we have an awful time trying
to catch Cactus face Elmer the villain. You know, fellas.
I've got a great idea. Let's put on a Buck
Benny tonight and show Dennis, how we used to do them?
Would you like to hear another one? Folk? Well, I'm
(12:22):
glad to hear that the horse opera is still popular.
So immediately after the next number, ladies and gentlemen, we
will bring you a brand new episode of Buck Benny
Rides again. Now, Dennis, yes, please, you can be one
of my deputies and work was done. You're sort of
a dumb stooge type. Well, gee, I don't know if
I can handle it, Dennis, believe me, you'll come to us.
(12:47):
All right, Phil, Let's have a number and then we'll
go into our sched.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Okay, Jackson, do you want us to play loud or salt?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
There's no choice and you know it, so just blast away.
Hold it a minute. Hello, Oh, mister Bennett is Rochester. Rochester.
I begged and pleaded with you not to call me
in the middle of a broadcast. Now what do you want?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Well, Boss, I was just listening to the program and
I heard you say you were going to New York
a week from tonight.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Do your plans embrace your ambassador to Harlem.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yes, Rochester, you're coming along, but we're gonna be awfully
busy in New York, so I don't know if you'll
have time to go to Harlem. Let's get to New
York and word from there. All right, All right, now,
as long as you know we're going, you might as
well start making preparations. First of all, tell mister Billingsley
our border that we're going to be gone a couple
of weeks, so he'll have to make his own coffee
(13:45):
in the morning. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
By the way, what are we gonna do with that's
paula Bear.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And hostage Carmichael and Trudy. I don't know. Maybe we
can get him a week with aug him. I doubt it.
Carmichael hasn't rehearsed on his bicycle in a month, and
he's all butter fingers. With those Indian clubs, they never
get booked. I don't know about that, truly.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Doesn't mean stripteas.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Trip ts. Yes, you pulled the plumes out one by one,
I know, but what have you got after the first show? Besides,
they work, They work much better with me. Now, Rochester,
go down in the basement and bring up my big
(14:27):
trunk and start packing that old thing.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
I don't think it'll stand another trip, boss.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Oh it'll do. I only bought it four years ago
and was practically new then.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
That often Nail must have lied to you.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I don't want to hear another word about a Rochester.
That trunk isn't so old.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It's got a buckle compartment that for sun.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Now hang out, Rochester, I got a program to do. Okay,
good bye, goodbye?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh say boss, what did you see our new pitcher yet?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yes, they ran Buck Benny for me at the studio
last night. Oh my inn it very good. Rochester. You're swell,
You're a big hit. I think I was teaching to
a new trump board song. Wait a minute, Rochester, me
hung up. Oh well, if he wants that, he wants
to bless his little heart, playfell. That was I hear
(17:03):
Bluebird played by Phil Harrison his archestra. Now, Ladies and
gentlemen for the twenty fourth episode in Our Western Melodrama
and tragled Buck Benny Rides Again or Strange Cardgo. The
opening scene is the office of care of Buck Benny
in the thriving Little Coyle Town of East Move, Texas
Curtains movie Bom boom erdom boom bee editom boom be
(17:34):
doom the boom to bead Hello, Careff's office, Buck Bennie speaking,
Oh hello Red? What did I hear about didda? Oh?
Did I hear about deada blood?
Speaker 6 (17:48):
Day?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
What did well? Did did I die die? I mean?
Is he dead? Red? Oh? His dad dead Eye's dad
dead red?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Howd he happened to get shot? Oh? He thought he
found a horse? Well? Thanks Red, goodbye? What's up surf?
Dead Eye's eye is dead? I mean dead Eye dead sad?
I mean dead Eye's father just told his last horse
too bad? Good rising saw How we can just get
rid of Frank Carson. It's town to be fit to
live here? Now, hold on there, Deputy, That lowdown, no
(18:23):
good skunk is my gal's father, besides his reformed.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Reformed while last night he slept from the gutter in
front of the East moveth Biltimore.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Well that's the best hotel in town. Heat it. I
remember when Frank used to sleep in front of the firehouse.
They had to take the hooking ladder out the back door.
We're Deputy, Day, Oh Day, Yes, please not too low, Deputy.
(18:51):
You're liable to see there now look here, Day, I
want you to go out and catch some crooks. We
ain't got a single prisoner in this jail with these beads,
no wonder, never mind and hang out the vacancy sign
that always hills. And remember Dave the next time you
hear that shooting buck Yep, that's either five aces or
her husband came home. But that's life again, the sheriff.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I hate to keep harping on this, but why are
we going to catch cactus face Almer?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
We've been looking for him for three years. I don't
know Wilson. That vomit is harder to find than art
in the Mighty Allen art Player. But I'll get him
one of these days. Well, see you later. Depute is
where you gone? Chaff? Next door to Dead Eyes barber
shop and get a haircut? And I'm going over and
propose to Daisy cousin. Why you've been proposing to her
(19:44):
for over ten years? When's she gonna say yes? I
don't know, but if you don't say it soon, it
won't be worth it. How long? Depute is? Hello?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Did I oh the sheriff?
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Did you hear about your father getting shot a few
minutes ago?
Speaker 6 (20:04):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Was it fatal? Yep? Too bad? What'll it be?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Haircut or shave?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Hair? God? Put the bowl on. Let's get going. Hello, Goldie,
give me one of them manicures? Will you? Okay? Sheriff?
Flip me here? Pa? Hey, I watch out from my ears?
Did I? I declare, Goldie? You're getting putty every day?
I am yep, but you got a long way to go.
I'm mighty long. How was that? Did I? That's a
(20:35):
good one?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Say fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
At the time they plugged my old man?
Speaker 6 (20:38):
Was he stealing a horse?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Yes? He was? Did I?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Bad happened?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
You don't want to shave now?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
No, not today. There's a long hair growing out of
your ears, Sheriff?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Should I pull it out?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Sure? Go ahead? Now hold steady, I'm a holding Here
we go. Yes, that got it? Well, I guess I'll
run over to Daisy's. Now what awe you for that manicure? Goldie?
Fifteen sense? And that's final? Fifteen cents for all the
other boys only pay a dime. What's the extra nickel for?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
You're the only guy in town with ten fingers?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
That's right, There is a lot of shooting going on here. Well,
so wrong? Did I am going over to see dazy
holdo home on? Giddy up? There? Well, here's the Carson
house now. Whoo partner? Whoa daddy partner? Daddy now? And
(21:45):
here's a note that you while I'm gone. Hope Daisy
liked my haircut?
Speaker 5 (21:52):
Hng in Hello, dazy, Hello, tall, dark and bow legging.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Well, gal, you don't exactly have to detour when you
come to a fire hydrant yourself. I just came from
the barbershop, Daisy, what do you think of my haircut?
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Can't tell what that beanie you're wearing that's the haircut.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Oh well, Daisy, I suppose you know what I came
here for. I've been a courting you now for over
ten years. Do mean everything to me? And just kill you? How?
What do you say? Yel Will you marry me? Yes?
No word of it. Oh you was rushing into this
like a couple of school kids.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
But I was the only kidding.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I told you before.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
I can't never marry you as lung as Pappy as live.
I got to stay home and take care of him.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Well don't you tear for me?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Yes? But I hear mirror for.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Him, same old story. Where's your pappy?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Now?
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Upstairs?
Speaker 7 (22:51):
He tell the past, I pull a dry Marcides and
he's driving Frolvey'll gone him.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You know, Daisy, if you're a old man, don't give
up drinking. He's gonna start seeing things.
Speaker 7 (23:00):
Start seeing things. He runs all over the house now,
trying to trap him. No foolish, Why buck you know
that big empty close and we got upstairs in the
attic with nothing hanging on the walls.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, that's his trophy room. Well, I think I better
have a talk with Frank and see if I can
straighten them out here.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Time's tpy.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well hello, fuck, have it alive?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Lang? Hold on? Fuck?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
I think we better put downstairs and throwing Daisy, you're
downstairs now, then.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I'm gonna take them steps out. I don't see them. Why,
Frank Carson, I'm disgusted with you. Look at him, Daisy,
Look at him standing there with a jug in each hand.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
I take one away.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You'll fall over, I'll see will Now you go back upstairs, Frank,
get some sweep. It'll do you good. Okay, come on, boys, boys,
I don't see anyone.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Dashy Jellison. He gotta hurd out of him.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Well, Daisy, now that we're alone again, how about a kid,
come on? Puck her up? Galu the door sheriff, Yeah,
hoping up, unpucker, Daisy, we got company. Come in watch
the trouble boys. Sheriff, we got bad news for you.
Touchas Spacenomers back in town. He's just robbed the first
national bank. He did. Yes, we got eight thousand dollars
(24:34):
in my gun. Well what are we waiting for? Let's
go after u. We're ever finding Triff. We don't know
where his height out is. That's right, that vombit always
gets away.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Your bag's copping buck. You don't find Pacha and kiss
hineing a cost you your job.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I know it will. Oh god, I wish I could
find him. I wish I knew where his heightout was.
Can't anyone help me?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I'll help your kid.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
What I'm the blue Perry that was last week. This
ain't Pinocchio. What are you doing back here?
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I didn't get paint yet.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Oh wait, wait a minute. Maybe you can't help me.
You go where Captain space Elmer is hiding.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Yes, where you will find Captain Saint Elmers at me.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
This, ladies and gentlemen, will not be continued next week.
If you want to know the ending of this little place,
eat a Welsh rarebit a dish of chocolate ice cream,
poor dill pickles, goze off and go to town. Play fell.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Here's a real prize winner of a recipe, the Shirt
of Proof, a real praise winner every time you servant.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's yellow swell.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
New dessert Cherry pie Gloze, a rich, colorful combination of
bright red cherry jello and ripe juicy cherries with a gay,
beguiling flavor that will.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Make everybody past their plates for more.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
All you have to do is just make up a
package of cherry jella and pulled in two and one
half cups of canned red.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Cherries which have been drained and sweetened.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Then, after you've pought it into a cold baked pie
shell and let it chill intol firm, serve it up.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Plain or with whipped cream, and take it from me.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
You'll have a.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Grand treat that will win smiles and cheers from the
whole family. It's all plan to have this tempting dessert
for tomorrow night's dinner. Cherry pie Glize, a striking blend
of delicious red cherries and rich crimson cherry jelly.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Is the last number of the twenty seventh program in
the current Jello series and We will be with you
again next Sunday night at the same time. And Dennis,
that's the way we used to do Buck Benny, did
you like it? Yes, but I'd like to know where
Cactus Face is. You're the only one that cares good
night falls than house.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh and I's more fun than enjoyment foril Juni ever
Tuesday night for another twelve half hour of Jellow entertainments
a famous old Ridge family. See your local paper or
a movie and radio guide for Tireman Station.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
This is the national broadcasting Company
The Jello Program starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris,
Dennis Day.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And Yours Truly Don Wilson.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The Orchestra opens a program with ma He's making eyes
at me Here, Ladies and gentlemen are two of the
most welcome sights in the world. The fat, saucy robin
hopping on the lawn, first happy sign of spring, and
(00:29):
that perfect dessert for spring, a shimmering.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Mold of rich, radiant Jello.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yes, Jello is a gay, tempting treat with brilliant flower
like colors that promise a true feast of flavor and
keep that.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Promise in a big way.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
It's simply full of grand, exciting goodness that makes friends
quickly and keeps them long. And when you serve anyone
of Jello's six delicious flavors, you can be sure everybody
will like it, because Jello has a delightful, refreshing taste
as inviting as a frist ripe fruit itself. So folks
enjoy this rich, striking dessert just as off and as
you can help yourself to happy meals by always asking
(01:03):
for Jello, and when you buy, be sure to look
for those big red letters on the box. They spell jello,
and the jello spells a perfect.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Dessert that lies ma.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
He's making eyes at me, played by the orchestra. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this is the
beginning of spring. Tiny blades of grass are peeping through
the soil. Blossoms are bursting into bloom. The harsh winds
of winter have changed to soft, balmy breezes. So, without
further ado, we bring.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
You a man who is still wearing his long.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Ease, Jack Benny.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Geelong Again, this is Jack Danny talking. And Don, I
don't mind you're kidding about my age, or my dramatic ability,
or my working pictures, or a lot of other things.
But I think that my underwear is my own business.
Is there nothing sacred around here? Heavens? But Jack, spring
is here.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Don't you think you ought to change into your shorts?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Don? This is only the first week in April. When
the butterflies come out of their cocoon. I'll come out
of mine. Until then, I'm taking no chance. Now, Jack,
aren't you being just a little overcautious? The winners are
smiled out here.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
He's right, Jackson, You're the only guy in southern California
that wears long underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
What did you say, corn Fuchies, What was that?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
I said, you're the only guy in southern California that
wears long underwear.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Oh yeah, did you ever see Tyrone powers backyard on
a Monday morning? Don't tell me os Anabella And another
thing Phil, Oh, hello Mary, Hello Jack? Another thing Phil
that reminds me. I wish you stop running around telling
everybody that I wear pajamas with feet in him. Well
(03:15):
you do, don't you. That was one night when I
forgot to take off my inner sock. Yes, one inner socks.
My goodness, Jack, what's the idea of wearing two pair
of socks?
Speaker 5 (03:24):
He bought some big shoes cheap.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
I wait a minute, fell us wait him and a
Don started out with a beautiful poetic introduction about blades
of grass and blossoms on the trees and bomby breezes.
So let's stay in the move.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
You're right, Yah, spring is beautiful.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
I'll say it is.
Speaker 6 (03:38):
You know.
Speaker 7 (03:38):
I was at my yard this morning and I saw
the cut little Robin. See he was see I love Robin,
and he just got in from the south. How do
you know he wasn't unpacked yet.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Now cut it off. Heaven Sebbetty, you have to make
a gag out of everything, isn't there isn't there any
romance in this crowd at all. I was up all night.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
If that's what you mean, I.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Don't mean that. I'm talking about spring birds, nature flowers.
See doesn't a buttercup mean anything to you? Phil? Yeah,
but don't let it get around I won't, no kidding, fellaws.
That's the season of the year when we should have
joy in our hearts. We should be happy and gay.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
I'm happy, mister Benny.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I know you are. Dennis, You're always happy.
Speaker 5 (04:25):
What a malt his head would make Mary?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Believe me, it's a real pleasure to have one person
around here that's contented and glad he's working for me.
That kid's gonna get a raise.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
What are you gonna do? Let him stand on a
box now.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I'm not gonna let him hand in a box. I'm
gonna give Dennis an increase in salary.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
I've heard that too, Dennis. Don't go out and buy
a car now, just.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
A second, Phil, I don't know what you're complaining about.
Remember that day you came to me looking for a
job four years ago. Mister Benny you said, you called
me mister Benny. Then, mister Benny, you said, please put
me to work on your program. My beer garden job
is all right, but I want to improve me. I
(05:06):
want to get somewhere. Remember that, Phil, Yes, But and
I said to you, cheer up, young man, I'll take
you under my wings. Well, Phil, I've kept my word
and you've been with me ever since. That's true, Jackson,
But I still think that I'm not getting them up.
Dull listen, Phil, listen to me. Always be loyal and
(05:26):
always be true to those who have toiled and struggled
for you. It isn't the salary or money you get.
It's the smile of a friend that counts. You can
bet for Benny's your path, your buddy, your friend. He
won't let it down. He'll stick to the end. So
if it's money you want, pal speak up. That's all,
(05:47):
and I'll have a new orchestra beginning next four. Applause.
Thank you, Now, marry your next. Have you any complaints
to make, young ladies, No.
Speaker 5 (06:05):
Jack, it's wonderful working for you. It's heaven, it's paradise.
Size are all blue.
Speaker 7 (06:10):
You're so sweet and charming and you never irk. But
in spite of all this, I think you're up now.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Done, done done. Have you anything to complain about?
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Oh Jack, I'm happy here working for you. There's no
other thing that I would rather do. I'm glad to
be able to stand up and shout that jello so.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Tempting it melt in your mouth? Is it easy to make? Don? Oh?
Tell us pray do not only that it's economical too.
Then what should I tell my dear cousin moulser tell
him to run to his neighborhood grocer. Well we dragged
that in beautifully, and now let us hear from our
own Dennis day. Have you got a song something mellow
(06:53):
or gay? Oh?
Speaker 6 (06:54):
Yes, or I haven't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
It's really brand new.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Well go ahead, swing it, come on, let it go
or go.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Thing?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Dennis, doesn't spring make you silly folk?
Speaker 6 (07:14):
There lies my kind of country from the life, and
we're heading fall. Oh time a stay with me and
night my kind of country once more? There is my
(07:42):
kind of people. Were I con smiles, thrive and rave
oll time, ari ricles tiny eesy, I kind of contree.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Rattle hole. Maybe nine more miles baby, may I re
if I.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
I kind of contreek traddle home, traddle home, maybe nine
more miles.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Maybe may I no kind of n h very good,
(09:09):
nner very good. That was my kind of country. Written
by Frank Lesser and Jimmy McHugh for that forthcoming Paramount picture,
Buck Benny Rides Again, stirring Phil Harrison, Thanks for the plug.
Now wait a minute, Phil, let's straighten this out right now.
You're not the star of Buck Benny Rides Again. I
stand out in it, don't I. You stand out in
(09:30):
that picture about as much as an oyster in Chesapeake Bay.
In other words, Son, you could be left out entirely
and out of fact. The plots, the link, the suspense,
the ride up, the audience, and you take it from there.
A fine star by the way, Jack run, Will the
picture be finished? Oh we're through with the don fact.
I have a little surprise for you. Buck Benny is
(09:51):
going to have his world premiere in New York in
a couple of weeks, and we're all going, oh, yes, sir,
what are we leaving?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Jack?
Speaker 3 (09:58):
All right after next Sunday show, we're going to do
two broadcast there. Wait till a big city gets a
load of me in my ten gallon hat.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, Jack, that's the kind of a heat man part
you've always wanted to play, So he finally made it.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Huh. Yes, And I don't want to brag or anything down,
but I think I make a pretty good cowboy.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Oh Jack, tell him about the trouble you had with
your horse?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
You mean abdols?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
What I ham? That animal was? He tried to steal
every scene from me. Why didn't you turn him around
so he wouldn't face the camera?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
He did, and the horse still had more personality than Jack.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
He did not. But you should have seen that horse,
don He was always looking right in the camera and
flashing those teeth of his. What an animal? Well, why
didn't you do the same thing, because in the first place,
filled my teeth aren't as big as a horse's.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
You could have ordered them any size you wanted.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
That so was you were just making things up, Mary,
because if I have false teeth, how is it I
can crack nuts with him?
Speaker 5 (10:59):
You take him out?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
And all right, Mary, all right, you can get on
more subjects. We were talking about Buck Benny Rides Again.
That's a swell title for a picture. Mister Benny how'd
you happen to think of it? Well, you see, we
used to do a series of Dennis. Didn't you ever
listen to this program before you came to work on us,
didn't you? There goes my race? Well anyway, and you're right, Dennis. Anyway,
(11:26):
we used to do those Western plays and we call
them Buck Benny rides again. Oh boy, they were fun.
I used to be share of Buck Benny. I rooting
hooton shooting Hoot and Galuten Pig Newton. That was me.
And I used to be your deputy, remember.
Speaker 7 (11:41):
Yes, sir, when I was Daisy Parts and your sweetheart.
Remember how you'd always ride over to my house and
visit me.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Yeah, and we'd sit in the parlor and hold hands,
uh huh, and then you put the lights out, uh huh.
And then you'd chill your home movies.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Oh boy, was I romandy? And then there was your pathy.
Frank Carson, the town cutout, that was meful words my
jump dass. And didn't we have an awful time trying
to catch Cactus face Elmer the villain. You know, fellas.
I've got a great idea. Let's put on a Buck
Benny tonight and show Dennis, how we used to do them?
Would you like to hear another one? Folk? Well, I'm
(12:22):
glad to hear that the horse opera is still popular.
So immediately after the next number, ladies and gentlemen, we
will bring you a brand new episode of Buck Benny
Rides again. Now, Dennis, yes, please, you can be one
of my deputies and work was done. You're sort of
a dumb stooge type. Well, gee, I don't know if
I can handle it, Dennis, believe me, you'll come to us.
(12:47):
All right, Phil, Let's have a number and then we'll
go into our sched.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Okay, Jackson, do you want us to play loud or salt?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
There's no choice and you know it, so just blast away.
Hold it a minute. Hello, Oh, mister Bennett is Rochester. Rochester.
I begged and pleaded with you not to call me
in the middle of a broadcast. Now what do you want?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Well, Boss, I was just listening to the program and
I heard you say you were going to New York
a week from tonight.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Do your plans embrace your ambassador to Harlem.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Yes, Rochester, you're coming along, but we're gonna be awfully
busy in New York, so I don't know if you'll
have time to go to Harlem. Let's get to New
York and word from there. All right, All right, now,
as long as you know we're going, you might as
well start making preparations. First of all, tell mister Billingsley
our border that we're going to be gone a couple
of weeks, so he'll have to make his own coffee
(13:45):
in the morning. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
By the way, what are we gonna do with that's
paula Bear.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
And hostage Carmichael and Trudy. I don't know. Maybe we
can get him a week with aug him. I doubt it.
Carmichael hasn't rehearsed on his bicycle in a month, and
he's all butter fingers. With those Indian clubs, they never
get booked. I don't know about that, truly.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Doesn't mean stripteas.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Trip ts. Yes, you pulled the plumes out one by one,
I know, but what have you got after the first show? Besides,
they work, They work much better with me. Now, Rochester,
go down in the basement and bring up my big
(14:27):
trunk and start packing that old thing.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
I don't think it'll stand another trip, boss.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Oh it'll do. I only bought it four years ago
and was practically new then.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
That often Nail must have lied to you.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
I don't want to hear another word about a Rochester.
That trunk isn't so old.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It's got a buckle compartment that for sun.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Now hang out, Rochester, I got a program to do. Okay,
good bye, goodbye?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh say boss, what did you see our new pitcher yet?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yes, they ran Buck Benny for me at the studio
last night. Oh my inn it very good. Rochester. You're swell,
You're a big hit. I think I was teaching to
a new trump board song. Wait a minute, Rochester, me
hung up. Oh well, if he wants that, he wants
to bless his little heart, playfell. That was I hear
(17:03):
Bluebird played by Phil Harrison his archestra. Now, Ladies and
gentlemen for the twenty fourth episode in Our Western Melodrama
and tragled Buck Benny Rides Again or Strange Cardgo. The
opening scene is the office of care of Buck Benny
in the thriving Little Coyle Town of East Move, Texas
Curtains movie Bom boom erdom boom bee editom boom be
(17:34):
doom the boom to bead Hello, Careff's office, Buck Bennie speaking,
Oh hello Red? What did I hear about didda? Oh?
Did I hear about deada blood?
Speaker 6 (17:48):
Day?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
What did well? Did did I die die? I mean?
Is he dead? Red? Oh? His dad dead Eye's dad
dead red?
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Howd he happened to get shot? Oh? He thought he
found a horse? Well? Thanks Red, goodbye? What's up surf?
Dead Eye's eye is dead? I mean dead Eye dead sad?
I mean dead Eye's father just told his last horse
too bad? Good rising saw How we can just get
rid of Frank Carson. It's town to be fit to
live here? Now, hold on there, Deputy, That lowdown, no
(18:23):
good skunk is my gal's father, besides his reformed.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Reformed while last night he slept from the gutter in
front of the East moveth Biltimore.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Well that's the best hotel in town. Heat it. I
remember when Frank used to sleep in front of the firehouse.
They had to take the hooking ladder out the back door.
We're Deputy, Day, Oh Day, Yes, please not too low, Deputy.
(18:51):
You're liable to see there now look here, Day, I
want you to go out and catch some crooks. We
ain't got a single prisoner in this jail with these beads,
no wonder, never mind and hang out the vacancy sign
that always hills. And remember Dave the next time you
hear that shooting buck Yep, that's either five aces or
her husband came home. But that's life again, the sheriff.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I hate to keep harping on this, but why are
we going to catch cactus face Almer?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
We've been looking for him for three years. I don't
know Wilson. That vomit is harder to find than art
in the Mighty Allen art Player. But I'll get him
one of these days. Well, see you later. Depute is
where you gone? Chaff? Next door to Dead Eyes barber
shop and get a haircut? And I'm going over and
propose to Daisy cousin. Why you've been proposing to her
(19:44):
for over ten years? When's she gonna say yes? I
don't know, but if you don't say it soon, it
won't be worth it. How long? Depute is? Hello?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Did I oh the sheriff?
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Did you hear about your father getting shot a few
minutes ago?
Speaker 6 (20:04):
No?
Speaker 3 (20:05):
Was it fatal? Yep? Too bad? What'll it be?
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Haircut or shave?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Hair? God? Put the bowl on. Let's get going. Hello, Goldie,
give me one of them manicures? Will you? Okay? Sheriff?
Flip me here? Pa? Hey, I watch out from my ears?
Did I? I declare, Goldie? You're getting putty every day?
I am yep, but you got a long way to go.
I'm mighty long. How was that? Did I? That's a
(20:35):
good one?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Say fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
At the time they plugged my old man?
Speaker 6 (20:38):
Was he stealing a horse?
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Yes? He was? Did I?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Bad happened?
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
You don't want to shave now?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
No, not today. There's a long hair growing out of
your ears, Sheriff?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Should I pull it out?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Sure? Go ahead? Now hold steady, I'm a holding Here
we go. Yes, that got it? Well, I guess I'll
run over to Daisy's. Now what awe you for that manicure? Goldie?
Fifteen sense? And that's final? Fifteen cents for all the
other boys only pay a dime. What's the extra nickel for?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
You're the only guy in town with ten fingers?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
That's right, There is a lot of shooting going on here. Well,
so wrong? Did I am going over to see dazy
holdo home on? Giddy up? There? Well, here's the Carson
house now. Whoo partner? Whoa daddy partner? Daddy now? And
(21:45):
here's a note that you while I'm gone. Hope Daisy
liked my haircut?
Speaker 5 (21:52):
Hng in Hello, dazy, Hello, tall, dark and bow legging.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Well, gal, you don't exactly have to detour when you
come to a fire hydrant yourself. I just came from
the barbershop, Daisy, what do you think of my haircut?
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Can't tell what that beanie you're wearing that's the haircut.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Oh well, Daisy, I suppose you know what I came
here for. I've been a courting you now for over
ten years. Do mean everything to me? And just kill you? How?
What do you say? Yel Will you marry me? Yes?
No word of it. Oh you was rushing into this
like a couple of school kids.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
But I was the only kidding.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I told you before.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
I can't never marry you as lung as Pappy as live.
I got to stay home and take care of him.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Well don't you tear for me?
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Yes? But I hear mirror for.
Speaker 3 (22:46):
Him, same old story. Where's your pappy?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Now?
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Upstairs?
Speaker 7 (22:51):
He tell the past, I pull a dry Marcides and
he's driving Frolvey'll gone him.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You know, Daisy, if you're a old man, don't give
up drinking. He's gonna start seeing things.
Speaker 7 (23:00):
Start seeing things. He runs all over the house now,
trying to trap him. No foolish, Why buck you know
that big empty close and we got upstairs in the
attic with nothing hanging on the walls.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yes, that's his trophy room. Well, I think I better
have a talk with Frank and see if I can
straighten them out here.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Time's tpy.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well hello, fuck, have it alive?
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Lang? Hold on? Fuck?
Speaker 4 (23:37):
I think we better put downstairs and throwing Daisy, you're
downstairs now, then.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
I'm gonna take them steps out. I don't see them. Why,
Frank Carson, I'm disgusted with you. Look at him, Daisy,
Look at him standing there with a jug in each hand.
Speaker 5 (23:55):
I take one away.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You'll fall over, I'll see will Now you go back upstairs, Frank,
get some sweep. It'll do you good. Okay, come on, boys, boys,
I don't see anyone.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
Dashy Jellison. He gotta hurd out of him.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Well, Daisy, now that we're alone again, how about a kid,
come on? Puck her up? Galu the door sheriff, Yeah,
hoping up, unpucker, Daisy, we got company. Come in watch
the trouble boys. Sheriff, we got bad news for you.
Touchas Spacenomers back in town. He's just robbed the first
national bank. He did. Yes, we got eight thousand dollars
(24:34):
in my gun. Well what are we waiting for? Let's
go after u. We're ever finding Triff. We don't know
where his height out is. That's right, that vombit always
gets away.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Your bag's copping buck. You don't find Pacha and kiss
hineing a cost you your job.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I know it will. Oh god, I wish I could
find him. I wish I knew where his heightout was.
Can't anyone help me?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
I'll help your kid.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
What I'm the blue Perry that was last week. This
ain't Pinocchio. What are you doing back here?
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I didn't get paint yet.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Oh wait, wait a minute. Maybe you can't help me.
You go where Captain space Elmer is hiding.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Yes, where you will find Captain Saint Elmers at me.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
This, ladies and gentlemen, will not be continued next week.
If you want to know the ending of this little place,
eat a Welsh rarebit a dish of chocolate ice cream,
poor dill pickles, goze off and go to town. Play fell.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Here's a real prize winner of a recipe, the Shirt
of Proof, a real praise winner every time you servant.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
It's yellow swell.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
New dessert Cherry pie Gloze, a rich, colorful combination of
bright red cherry jello and ripe juicy cherries with a gay,
beguiling flavor that will.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Make everybody past their plates for more.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
All you have to do is just make up a
package of cherry jella and pulled in two and one
half cups of canned red.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Cherries which have been drained and sweetened.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Then, after you've pought it into a cold baked pie
shell and let it chill intol firm, serve it up.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Plain or with whipped cream, and take it from me.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
You'll have a.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Grand treat that will win smiles and cheers from the
whole family. It's all plan to have this tempting dessert
for tomorrow night's dinner. Cherry pie Glize, a striking blend
of delicious red cherries and rich crimson cherry jelly.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Is the last number of the twenty seventh program in
the current Jello series and We will be with you
again next Sunday night at the same time. And Dennis,
that's the way we used to do Buck Benny, did
you like it? Yes, but I'd like to know where
Cactus Face is. You're the only one that cares good
night falls than house.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh and I's more fun than enjoyment foril Juni ever
Tuesday night for another twelve half hour of Jellow entertainments
a famous old Ridge family. See your local paper or
a movie and radio guide for Tireman Station.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
This is the national broadcasting Company
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