August 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Step back in time with "Jack Benny," one of the most beloved comedians in radio history. His sharp wit, endearing personality, and hilarious routines made his show a staple of American entertainment. Tune in for a hearty dose of laughter and nostalgia, perfect for fans of classic comedy and vintage radio.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Jack Benny Program Transcribe presented by Lucky Strikes Terble no.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
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Speaker 3 (01:02):
The Lucky Stark.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Levingston, Tell Harris Rochester
down Staying the Sportsman's Fort tenn and yours probing Don.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Beverly Hills. It's
(01:25):
morning and hundreds of people brimming with the Christmas spirit
are waiting for the local department store to open its doors.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh Mary, Mary, where are you here?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I am Jack right behind you.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Oh yeah, Say Mary, how'd you like the way I
wiggled myself through this crowd right up to the front
of the line.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Yeah, those rumble lescents you took from USA Murray really helped.
Speaker 6 (01:45):
I'll say.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
When we started, we were away at the end, and
now there's only one man ahead of me. Hello Jack,
Hello mister Murray. Oh look look Mary, they're getting ready
to open the store and let the crowd in.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I can see the manager walking over to the floor.
Walter jasper.
Speaker 7 (02:05):
What is it, mister Simpkins?
Speaker 8 (02:06):
It's almost time to open the store. Are all the
clerks at the station? Yes, sir, good. You will open
the doors in ten seconds. Are you ready for final inspection? Yes, sir,
hair calm, chin out, jacket, crassed carnation, moist.
Speaker 9 (02:21):
Good.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
It is now nine o'clock.
Speaker 8 (02:26):
You may open the doors and guide our customers into
the store.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yes, sir, you tree.
Speaker 8 (03:00):
Mule train, just for How could you do a thing
like that to our customers?
Speaker 10 (03:05):
When I saw those faces, I couldn't control myself.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Wait here, Mary, I'll be right back Jack, don't get
into it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Never mind, say mister, are you the manager?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well it's one of your steady customers. I resent being
ushered into the store like a mule. I apologize, sir,
I've never been, I said, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Put your ears down. Now, Look, miss Jack, I told
you not to get into it.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Come on, Oh all right, Jack, I'd like to go
to a store with you, just once, where you don't
get into an argument with everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Book, Mary, I'll admit that sometimes it may be my fault,
but not this time. Imagine driving customers into a store
yelling mule train.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Well, don't stand there complaining. Go have your coat fixed.
My coat's whiptoi your sleeve off?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Oh yeah, well I'll just pin it and then fix
it when I get home. Come on, Mary, what do
you think I ought to get from my sister.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Florence in Chicago?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (04:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It ought to be something nice. You don't marry.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I have no brothers and no other sister. Florence is
my only close relative. I ought to get her something
really nice.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Uh what'd you get her last year?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
A pencil sharpener?
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Oh? How sweet? Yeah? But then she is your only sister.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, after all, you jack.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Let's go outside. Come in the star again? Why I
want that guy with a whip to get another crack
at you?
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Nothing doing?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
He had his chance anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I can't understand a store like this bringing customers in
just the way.
Speaker 7 (04:37):
Wait, pardon me, mister? Did you see my wife?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Are you talking to me?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
Did you see my wife?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I have As a matter of fact, I don't even
know your wife.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
And how do you know you didn't see her?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, mister, how would I know?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
You can't stand here drappering? I better go look for he?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Wo Now come on Mary's.
Speaker 7 (05:02):
Oh Jack, yep, there's Dennis where?
Speaker 9 (05:04):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yes, young man?
Speaker 11 (05:07):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 5 (05:08):
She?
Speaker 12 (05:09):
I don't know what to get from my mother. She
goes horseback riding a lot. Maybe she'd like it if
I buy something for the horse, say mister, yes, how
much is that horse collar?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Horse collar? Yes? That white one hanging up there on
the wall.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Young man, this is the plumbing department.
Speaker 11 (05:31):
Just what is it you're looking for?
Speaker 12 (05:32):
I don't know, but I'd like to get something for
my mother.
Speaker 11 (05:34):
Well, I can call the ladies to popma and save
you some time. Did you have anything in mind.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Well, yes, sir, I think a dress would be nice.
Speaker 11 (05:40):
Oh that's an excellent idea. What size dress does your
mother wear?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Thirty six?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Thirty six?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Uh huh?
Speaker 12 (05:45):
I think I ought to get her a nightgown too,
size fifty eighth.
Speaker 11 (05:50):
Wait a minute, son, If your mother wears a thirty
six dress, why would she wear a fifty eight nightgown?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
She doesn't sleep in her girdle, young man.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Young man, I think you're a little confused. However, I
will admit there is a little variation in size, but
very slight.
Speaker 12 (06:09):
I hope that movie company doesn't find out.
Speaker 11 (06:11):
Movie company, Yeah.
Speaker 12 (06:12):
They want my mother to take off a girdle to
advertise their new picture, What picture lost boundaries?
Speaker 13 (06:20):
Young man?
Speaker 11 (06:20):
Would you do me a favor and shoplift something so
I can have you arrested? Why I let it go?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Uh huh.
Speaker 12 (06:30):
Those men's shirts in that case across the aisle, are
they real silk?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (06:33):
Yes they are. They make a wonderful gift for your father.
Speaker 12 (06:35):
Oh they're not for my father. I'd like to buy
them for Jack Benny. Jack Benny, do you know him?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (06:41):
Sure, he's on one of my shows, Dennis Denna's hold on,
mister Benny, Hold.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Mary, Hello Danni doing your Christmas shopping?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (06:56):
Gee, I was just gonna decide on mister Benny's gift
and he had to walk up and.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Spoil the whole.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh I'm sorry, kid, I didn't know you wanted to
be a secret.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah. Now you'll have to close your eyes. Okay, God,
I'm closed.
Speaker 12 (07:07):
Ah okay, mister, you can wrap it up now and
put it in a shoe box so he won't know
it's a shirt.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Can I open my eyes now?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Gee, that was a close one.
Speaker 9 (07:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (07:18):
Yeah, Well, say mister Benny, while my packages are being
gift wrapped, would you like to step over to the
music counter and hear a record I just made?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Sure, kid? Come on? Oh miss?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Do you have the latest record made by Dennis Day?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
You mean I must have done something wonderful.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Would you play it?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Miss?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
I'm sorry, but our record player is broken broken?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yeah, all day yesterday.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Every five minutes, some curly headed jerk kept requesting that's
what I like about the South.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I think I know who you mean. Why didn't you
tell him that you refuse to play.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
It and get hit with a hamhock.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh yes, he's never without one.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Gee, and I wanted you to hear my records.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Well, it will make it feel better than as you sing,
and I'll spin you round.
Speaker 14 (08:06):
Okay, okay, I must have gone something wanerful, fine, someone
(08:44):
some somewhere.
Speaker 15 (08:49):
I did's something sweet like helping, oh lady.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
Across the stream. I never know why you love me, so.
Speaker 15 (09:15):
I no, you.
Speaker 9 (09:29):
Must have done something wanderful to be blessed with someone.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Like you.
Speaker 9 (09:49):
I never know why you love me, so.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I only no.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Oh, you.
Speaker 9 (10:07):
Must have done something one.
Speaker 15 (10:16):
Oh beless someone.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
W Well, I was very good, Dannis.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I bet it's a swell record. Say Mary, don't you
think that song will be a merry?
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Where didn't marry go?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Well, she's way over there at the end of the counter.
Speaker 8 (11:03):
Oh yeah, may I uh wait on.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
You, miss, Yes, sir, I'd like to get something for a.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Gentleman, A gentleman your husband.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Uh no, my boss.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
He's been nice to me and I'd like to show
my appreciation.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh, here's something nice.
Speaker 16 (11:18):
A gold thie.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Class, A gold thie class.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
No, how about a gold key change? No, how about
gold couffling.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Look, mister, I don't want to get him anything. He
can melt down. See, I wish I could think of something.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Well, miss, perhaps I could help you better if you've
told me how closely you too are associated are Are
you engaged?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
No, we're not.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Is he your boyfriend?
Speaker 11 (11:46):
No?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
As a matter of fact, he treats me more like
a sister. How about a pencil sharkner, a pencil sharkner.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Up on the Chicago every year goes to a girl
named Flosse.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
You mean Florence.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Well, I feel like I know her.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Hey, Mary, Mary, let's not keep losing each other. Can
I spend more?
Speaker 8 (12:15):
Hello, mister Benny, Oh hello, Hello, it's on the way
to Chicago.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This year, I was going to get my sister something different.
Come on, Mary, let's go. You know what's amazing how
everybody knows I'm a comedian. Mary, I'm gonna get something
else for my sister.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Now, is there anything else, sir?
Speaker 17 (12:46):
Well, I don't know, Babby.
Speaker 13 (12:48):
Let's see what I.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Bought so far.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
Well, there's one black negligee.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
That's from ever love the one.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Oh you're married.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I'm married?
Speaker 17 (13:04):
Well, I'm married to alas faith, the stingiest little gal whoever. Oh,
come on now, baby, stop crying. There ain't enough for
me for everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, sir, happens every time.
Speaker 17 (13:23):
Let's see, honey, I've got everybody's present except one for Jackson.
Oh I know, I'll get him a pair of socks.
What times eleven and a half these? Yeah, Now, I'll
just take off my shoes, put the new ones on,
and then I'll be all the Harris.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I thought you were gonna give socks to mister Benny.
Speaker 14 (13:39):
I am.
Speaker 17 (13:39):
Here are my old ones, gift wrap them.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Don't you want me to sew up the holes first?
Speaker 17 (13:49):
Just throwing a needle and thread and give the old
man something to do when he gets home from his room.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
But lessend.
Speaker 9 (13:56):
Yeah, put plenty of ribon on the box so.
Speaker 17 (13:58):
The kid can play around. They fell well, dear hearts
and gentle people.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Money running into you film.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Now's Alice, He'll stop it. What's the matter with her?
Speaker 13 (14:11):
Us?
Speaker 6 (14:11):
You'll thing she's upset because she.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Found out I'm married.
Speaker 6 (14:14):
Oh now, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You cried a little too, dad, all right, or but
that was during the ceremony, had nothing to do with you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Well, then Why did you cry because you wouldn't let
him go on the honeymoon?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
You sorry, stop, I've seen that, Jackson.
Speaker 17 (14:33):
I got to finish my shopping kids. Look, I've got
to get some California pennant.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
California pennant.
Speaker 17 (14:38):
Yeah, you see, I'm going to the Rose Bowl game
and I want to cheer for California.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But all they got in this door.
Speaker 17 (14:42):
Pennance from Syracuse.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Penance from Syracuse.
Speaker 17 (14:45):
Sure there's a big box up right up there on
the counter. See what it says Syracuse tenants That circus penis.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Sarah cu Penance Phil.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
How can you be she disappeared in the crowd.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Good God.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Now, Mary, I wish you'd help me decide on something
for my sister Flora.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Jack I've been trying to think.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Hey, mister, are you sure you didn't see my wife?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Look, Boddy, I'd like to help you, but I don't
know what your wife looks like.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
She got any identifying marks?
Speaker 7 (15:25):
Well, she's got a birthmark on never mind, I look
for myself.
Speaker 6 (15:32):
Yeah, yes, you better.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Oh come on, Mary, Why does everybody have to pick
on me? Yes?
Speaker 6 (15:42):
Ill?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Have you made up your mind?
Speaker 13 (15:43):
Son? Huh?
Speaker 10 (15:44):
Oh, oh, I was just looking around. I should like
to give my girl a ring like that.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Well, I don't blame you. That's a beautiful diamond dream.
Speaker 11 (15:51):
How much is it?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Four thousand dollars?
Speaker 7 (15:54):
That doesn't sound so bad?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Way, I look at my bank book?
Speaker 10 (16:00):
Well, or whether I turn the page?
Speaker 6 (16:05):
Well?
Speaker 10 (16:06):
Or will I turn another page?
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Well?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Just a minute, I'm on the last page.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Well, what's on the last page?
Speaker 10 (16:14):
Put something in the pot boy?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Well, look, mister, if you want to buy this ring,
you don't have to pay the four thousand dollars cash.
You can pay for it on easy terms. All you
have to do is establish credit rating, credit rating, Yes,
I have the forums right here.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Your name Rochester Van Jones? Are you employed? Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Who do you work for?
Speaker 7 (16:38):
Jack Billy?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
What are your duties?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You mean you want to go on?
Speaker 6 (16:46):
Why?
Speaker 13 (16:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Why are your duties with mister Benny?
Speaker 10 (16:50):
Well, besides being is rum a partner, I'm his personal secretary,
legal advisor, a turn it law and I also select
the scripts for the movies.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
He makes you picky?
Speaker 10 (16:59):
Movie is he has to blame somebody?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Well, I don't agree with you.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I think that mister Benny is a great entertainer.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Whether it's stage, screen or radio, and as.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Far as I'm concerned, his last picture was one of
the funniest I've ever seen.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
You keep talking like that, you'll be in line for
a pencil sharpener, Jock.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
I think Rochester's over there picking out a gift for you.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I don't want to see me, so let's move on,
Jock Joy, Hey, it's done.
Speaker 13 (17:30):
Why hello, Verry?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Say Jack, I just bought you a present, but I
thought it was silly to wait until Christmas, so I'm
gonna give it to you now here.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
For me a mop?
Speaker 9 (17:40):
But done?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
What can I do with a mop?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
This isn't the mop. I just put a handle on
it so you wouldn't be embarrassed carrying it home. Oh
I see, I thought the widow's peak was so you
could get into the corners, John.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
John, what have you gotten that little bag? Oh?
Speaker 11 (18:06):
Mary, I'm glad to ask me.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Here here, I'll show it to you. It's the cutest
thing you ever saw.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
What is it done?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
See, it's a little toy.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Merry go out well, what do you want that for?
Speaker 6 (18:16):
Out here?
Speaker 11 (18:16):
Let me show you.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
First, you wind it up and then you release the
lever and it spins around and plays music.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Really, let's see how it works.
Speaker 18 (18:23):
Done, Okay, ypty, Lucky Stik is as good as can be.
(18:49):
And smoke up lucky and you will soon.
Speaker 19 (18:53):
See there is nothing like on a lucky keeping.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Everybody knows they're round in perman.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Fully funny, yes, the fully fully.
Speaker 19 (19:14):
Everybody knows they're freeing easy on the very easy.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
There's a free and easy.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Don't you think it's time?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You're start?
Speaker 9 (19:19):
Not with the card? If you take the time to
dry warm, suret my.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Down?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
What's the matter or here here? I I better wind
it up again?
Speaker 15 (19:41):
Name can talk.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Less, l.
Speaker 18 (19:50):
L less mpt yes, sir, lucky pay more say no
no no no no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 13 (20:00):
Let done?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh what a shame it?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Bro don, that's the cutest toy I ever saw.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, that's a shame of bro Oh that's all right,
I'll get another one.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, I've got a run along now, I'll see you
kids later. Bye, don along done. I'm married.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I don't want to be here all day. I'm going
to get that other present from my sister.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Let's go over the perfume comment.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Well, Jack I've got some other shopping to do, so
i'll meet you there later, all right.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Mary, don't be too long?
Speaker 11 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
What would kind of perfume?
Speaker 6 (20:48):
I ortiga?
Speaker 9 (20:49):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
There you are?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
What is she.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
All for having?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Why do you keep asking me about your wife? I
told you I don't know what she looks like.
Speaker 7 (21:01):
Right here, I'll show you a picture of her.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
See this, This is your wife?
Speaker 7 (21:08):
Yeah, seems silly of me to keep looking for her,
don't it.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I don't know anyway, miss.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
She must be in the store or someplace, so just
keep looking and you'll probably find her.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
I hope not.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Rue.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Oh, I'd like to get out of here so I
can stop running into such silly Oh, here's the perfume Connor.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Must be something nice here for my sister.
Speaker 16 (21:34):
Oh, Claire, Claire, What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Hm?
Speaker 13 (21:49):
Are you the salesman here?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, you're the salesman here in the perfume department.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Donna take my word for.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
It, smill me.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I'll take your word for it, thank you.
Speaker 10 (22:13):
Yeah, Now, what kind of prithume would you like to buy?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Well? What kind of you got?
Speaker 10 (22:19):
I've got taboo temptations, shocking white shoulders surrender and you
should excuse the expression my sin.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Wait a minute, I think I think my sister likes taboo,
but I don't.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
Know whether to get it or not.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Taboo or not taboo. That is the question.
Speaker 9 (22:47):
I made that up myself.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I know, I know.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Everybody says I'm another Milton Violet.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Well your your face.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Your face does look a little like a kinoskull.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
For the.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Now, let's uh, let's see some other perfumes please.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Okay, we have some very nice imported ones.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
Evening in Paris, uh huh, midnight in Madrid, uh huh.
Here's a domestic one morning in the smile?
Speaker 17 (23:37):
Oh are they?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Are they botting it?
Speaker 14 (23:38):
Now?
Speaker 13 (23:39):
Why not?
Speaker 9 (23:40):
We got enough of it?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Yes, oh there I cat.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I thought i'd stop here and get some perfume for Florence.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Clerk.
Speaker 18 (23:48):
What's that?
Speaker 7 (23:49):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (23:49):
This is a very fashionable odor. It's called usu'd we afrail.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Little Anya say that does smell nice?
Speaker 10 (23:59):
Yeah, and it's got ten of sellin and it's to
fight off piroux.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That's not a bad idea, you know you.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Hey, Jack, here's a perfume your sister Florence might like.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Load of of v.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Crayon, load of love V creole.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
What does that mean?
Speaker 10 (24:14):
Aroma of freshley sharpened tensil.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh, you're no help.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Imagine putting a clerk like you behind a perfume counter.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
Oh, this ain't my regular job. I just sell perfume
during the Christmas.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Rush, I thought, So what is your regular job?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
I'm a goose girl at Hollywood Pop.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Oh come on, Mary, I've had enough of this guy.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Hey, what's that?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Well, we've been here all day and it's closing time.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You mean they're closing the store now?
Speaker 7 (24:57):
Yes, Jack, look out.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Oh darn it, there goes my other sleeve.
Speaker 13 (25:11):
Come on, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Care food packages have been improved and increased with more
meats and fats that mean health to hungry children.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And families overseas.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Twenty two and one a half pounds of life giving
food for ten dollars delivery guaranteed. Send your contribution to
nonprofit Care Los Angeless or New York. That's c Are
Care Los Angeles or New York.
Speaker 11 (25:51):
Zach will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
But first six table.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
When Lucky Strike goes to the tobacco markets, they have
you in mind, deep down enjoyment of smoking, and that's
a big reason why they pay more for fine tobacco than.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
The monon is older American.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yes, friends at the tobacco auctions, Lucky Strike pays millions
of dollars more than official parity prices for fine, life,
naturally mild tobacco you see in a cigarette. It's the
tobacco that counts and lsmft Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
You'll know this is true with every Lucky you like
or ears, smoking at its finest, smooth, mellow, deeply enjoyable.
(26:31):
There's never a rough puff in a Lucky and like you,
the veteran tobacco men choose Lucky Strike for their own
personal enjoyment. In fact, a recent survey reveals that more
independent tobacco.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined.
So take a tip from the experts and smoke that
smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. And here's a Christmas
gift suggestion that every friend will welcome, especially wrapped Christmas
carton of Lucky Strike cigarettes ten packs, two hundred cigarettes,
two hundred wonderfully smooth, deeply enjoyable luckies. Yes, give Lucky
(27:10):
Strike Christmas cartons to your friends and keep a good
supply of luckies on hand to add to your enjoyment
of the Christmas season.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
She married.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
This Christmas rush is awful, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Look how proud of this bus is Heye?
Speaker 6 (27:34):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
HOWI how about you? I'm fine?
Speaker 6 (27:38):
Fine?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Do you ever find your wife?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Who do you think is driving the bus?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
We'll tell Chloe.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Let me off with the next corner, Ladies and gentlemen,
next time they two hours before my own show on
the same network, the Actors Company will present the Man
who came to Dinner with Charles Boyer, Mel Ferrar, Henry Fonda,
(28:09):
John Garfield, Gene Kelly, Dorothy McGuire, Gregory Peck, rosalind Russell,
and yours truly, Jack Benny. I'm sure you'll enjoy the
show and another thing. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time
we meet it will be Christmas Day, so on behalf
of my sponsor, my cast, my entire staff. I want
to take this opportunity to wish each and every one
of you a happy, enjoyous holiday season. Short to have
(28:42):
DNA's Day and a day of a life of Dennis Day.
Speaker 9 (28:46):
Stay tuned the man As Simon.
Speaker 11 (28:48):
Show al which follows immediately.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That's by the Usidias for Columbia Broadcasting sust
The Jack Benny Program Transcribe presented by Lucky Strikes Terble no.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hold Milcan brands.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Every time you light up a Lucky you get more real,
deep down smoking enjoyment. Yes, that's exactly what you get
from every Lucky you light for. To make certain that
Luckies are a smoother, lighter, more deeply enjoyable smoke, Lucky's
pay more for fine tobacco, millions of dollars more than
official parody prices. Remember, in a cigarette, it's the tobacco
(00:33):
that counts and ls M f T Lucky Strike means
fine tobacco. Find tobacco that guarantees a milder, truly finer
cigarette for you. Yes, from first puff to last, there's
never a rough puff in a Lucky. So for your
own real deep down smoking enjoyment, smoke that smoke, a
fine tobacco Lucky Strike.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
The Lucky Stark.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Levingston, Tell Harris Rochester
down Staying the Sportsman's Fort tenn and yours probing Don.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's go out to Beverly Hills. It's
(01:25):
morning and hundreds of people brimming with the Christmas spirit
are waiting for the local department store to open its doors.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Oh Mary, Mary, where are you here?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I am Jack right behind you.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Oh yeah, Say Mary, how'd you like the way I
wiggled myself through this crowd right up to the front
of the line.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Yeah, those rumble lescents you took from USA Murray really helped.
Speaker 6 (01:45):
I'll say.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
When we started, we were away at the end, and
now there's only one man ahead of me. Hello Jack,
Hello mister Murray. Oh look look Mary, they're getting ready
to open the store and let the crowd in.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I can see the manager walking over to the floor.
Walter jasper.
Speaker 7 (02:05):
What is it, mister Simpkins?
Speaker 8 (02:06):
It's almost time to open the store. Are all the
clerks at the station? Yes, sir, good. You will open
the doors in ten seconds. Are you ready for final inspection? Yes, sir,
hair calm, chin out, jacket, crassed carnation, moist.
Speaker 9 (02:21):
Good.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
It is now nine o'clock.
Speaker 8 (02:26):
You may open the doors and guide our customers into
the store.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yes, sir, you tree.
Speaker 8 (03:00):
Mule train, just for How could you do a thing
like that to our customers?
Speaker 10 (03:05):
When I saw those faces, I couldn't control myself.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
Wait here, Mary, I'll be right back Jack, don't get
into it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Never mind, say mister, are you the manager?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yes? I am.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well it's one of your steady customers. I resent being
ushered into the store like a mule. I apologize, sir,
I've never been, I said, I apologize.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Put your ears down. Now, Look, miss Jack, I told
you not to get into it.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Come on, Oh all right, Jack, I'd like to go
to a store with you, just once, where you don't
get into an argument with everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Book, Mary, I'll admit that sometimes it may be my fault,
but not this time. Imagine driving customers into a store
yelling mule train.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Well, don't stand there complaining. Go have your coat fixed.
My coat's whiptoi your sleeve off?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Oh yeah, well I'll just pin it and then fix
it when I get home. Come on, Mary, what do
you think I ought to get from my sister.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Florence in Chicago?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (04:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
It ought to be something nice. You don't marry.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I have no brothers and no other sister. Florence is
my only close relative. I ought to get her something
really nice.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Uh what'd you get her last year?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
A pencil sharpener?
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Oh? How sweet? Yeah? But then she is your only sister.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, after all, you jack.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Let's go outside. Come in the star again? Why I
want that guy with a whip to get another crack
at you?
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Nothing doing?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
He had his chance anyway.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I can't understand a store like this bringing customers in
just the way.
Speaker 7 (04:37):
Wait, pardon me, mister? Did you see my wife?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Are you talking to me?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (04:41):
Did you see my wife?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I have As a matter of fact, I don't even
know your wife.
Speaker 7 (04:45):
And how do you know you didn't see her?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, mister, how would I know?
Speaker 7 (04:53):
You can't stand here drappering? I better go look for he?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Wo Now come on Mary's.
Speaker 7 (05:02):
Oh Jack, yep, there's Dennis where?
Speaker 9 (05:04):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yes, young man?
Speaker 11 (05:07):
What can I do for you?
Speaker 5 (05:08):
She?
Speaker 12 (05:09):
I don't know what to get from my mother. She
goes horseback riding a lot. Maybe she'd like it if
I buy something for the horse, say mister, yes, how
much is that horse collar?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Horse collar? Yes? That white one hanging up there on
the wall.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Young man, this is the plumbing department.
Speaker 11 (05:31):
Just what is it you're looking for?
Speaker 12 (05:32):
I don't know, but I'd like to get something for
my mother.
Speaker 11 (05:34):
Well, I can call the ladies to popma and save
you some time. Did you have anything in mind.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Well, yes, sir, I think a dress would be nice.
Speaker 11 (05:40):
Oh that's an excellent idea. What size dress does your
mother wear?
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Thirty six?
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Thirty six?
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Uh huh?
Speaker 12 (05:45):
I think I ought to get her a nightgown too,
size fifty eighth.
Speaker 11 (05:50):
Wait a minute, son, If your mother wears a thirty
six dress, why would she wear a fifty eight nightgown?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
She doesn't sleep in her girdle, young man.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Young man, I think you're a little confused. However, I
will admit there is a little variation in size, but
very slight.
Speaker 12 (06:09):
I hope that movie company doesn't find out.
Speaker 11 (06:11):
Movie company, Yeah.
Speaker 12 (06:12):
They want my mother to take off a girdle to
advertise their new picture, What picture lost boundaries?
Speaker 13 (06:20):
Young man?
Speaker 11 (06:20):
Would you do me a favor and shoplift something so
I can have you arrested? Why I let it go?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Is there anything else I can do for you?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Uh huh.
Speaker 12 (06:30):
Those men's shirts in that case across the aisle, are
they real silk?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (06:33):
Yes they are. They make a wonderful gift for your father.
Speaker 12 (06:35):
Oh they're not for my father. I'd like to buy
them for Jack Benny. Jack Benny, do you know him?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Oh?
Speaker 12 (06:41):
Sure, he's on one of my shows, Dennis Denna's hold on,
mister Benny, Hold.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Mary, Hello Danni doing your Christmas shopping?
Speaker 3 (06:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 12 (06:56):
Gee, I was just gonna decide on mister Benny's gift
and he had to walk up and.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Spoil the whole.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Oh I'm sorry, kid, I didn't know you wanted to
be a secret.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah. Now you'll have to close your eyes. Okay, God,
I'm closed.
Speaker 12 (07:07):
Ah okay, mister, you can wrap it up now and
put it in a shoe box so he won't know
it's a shirt.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Can I open my eyes now?
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
Gee, that was a close one.
Speaker 9 (07:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (07:18):
Yeah, Well, say mister Benny, while my packages are being
gift wrapped, would you like to step over to the
music counter and hear a record I just made?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Sure, kid? Come on? Oh miss?
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Do you have the latest record made by Dennis Day?
Speaker 4 (07:33):
You mean I must have done something wonderful.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah, that's the one.
Speaker 6 (07:36):
Would you play it?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Miss?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
I'm sorry, but our record player is broken broken?
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Yeah, all day yesterday.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Every five minutes, some curly headed jerk kept requesting that's
what I like about the South.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
I think I know who you mean. Why didn't you
tell him that you refuse to play.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
It and get hit with a hamhock.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh yes, he's never without one.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Gee, and I wanted you to hear my records.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Well, it will make it feel better than as you sing,
and I'll spin you round.
Speaker 14 (08:06):
Okay, okay, I must have gone something wanerful, fine, someone
(08:44):
some somewhere.
Speaker 15 (08:49):
I did's something sweet like helping, oh lady.
Speaker 9 (09:00):
Across the stream. I never know why you love me, so.
Speaker 15 (09:15):
I no, you.
Speaker 9 (09:29):
Must have done something wanderful to be blessed with someone.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Like you.
Speaker 9 (09:49):
I never know why you love me, so.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I only no.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Oh, you.
Speaker 9 (10:07):
Must have done something one.
Speaker 15 (10:16):
Oh beless someone.
Speaker 6 (10:25):
W Well, I was very good, Dannis.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I bet it's a swell record. Say Mary, don't you
think that song will be a merry?
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Now?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Where didn't marry go?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Well, she's way over there at the end of the counter.
Speaker 8 (11:03):
Oh yeah, may I uh wait on.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
You, miss, Yes, sir, I'd like to get something for a.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Gentleman, A gentleman your husband.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Uh no, my boss.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
He's been nice to me and I'd like to show
my appreciation.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Oh, here's something nice.
Speaker 16 (11:18):
A gold thie.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Class, A gold thie class.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
No, how about a gold key change? No, how about
gold couffling.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Look, mister, I don't want to get him anything. He
can melt down. See, I wish I could think of something.
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Well, miss, perhaps I could help you better if you've
told me how closely you too are associated are Are
you engaged?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
No, we're not.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Is he your boyfriend?
Speaker 11 (11:46):
No?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
As a matter of fact, he treats me more like
a sister. How about a pencil sharkner, a pencil sharkner.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Up on the Chicago every year goes to a girl
named Flosse.
Speaker 4 (12:05):
You mean Florence.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Well, I feel like I know her.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Hey, Mary, Mary, let's not keep losing each other. Can
I spend more?
Speaker 8 (12:15):
Hello, mister Benny, Oh hello, Hello, it's on the way
to Chicago.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
Wait a minute.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
This year, I was going to get my sister something different.
Come on, Mary, let's go. You know what's amazing how
everybody knows I'm a comedian. Mary, I'm gonna get something
else for my sister.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Now, is there anything else, sir?
Speaker 17 (12:46):
Well, I don't know, Babby.
Speaker 13 (12:48):
Let's see what I.
Speaker 4 (12:49):
Bought so far.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
Well, there's one black negligee.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
That's from ever love the one.
Speaker 7 (13:00):
Oh you're married.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I'm married?
Speaker 17 (13:04):
Well, I'm married to alas faith, the stingiest little gal whoever. Oh,
come on now, baby, stop crying. There ain't enough for
me for everybody.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yes, sir, happens every time.
Speaker 17 (13:23):
Let's see, honey, I've got everybody's present except one for Jackson.
Oh I know, I'll get him a pair of socks.
What times eleven and a half these? Yeah, Now, I'll
just take off my shoes, put the new ones on,
and then I'll be all the Harris.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I thought you were gonna give socks to mister Benny.
Speaker 14 (13:39):
I am.
Speaker 17 (13:39):
Here are my old ones, gift wrap them.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Don't you want me to sew up the holes first?
Speaker 17 (13:49):
Just throwing a needle and thread and give the old
man something to do when he gets home from his room.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
But lessend.
Speaker 9 (13:56):
Yeah, put plenty of ribon on the box so.
Speaker 17 (13:58):
The kid can play around. They fell well, dear hearts
and gentle people.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Money running into you film.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Now's Alice, He'll stop it. What's the matter with her?
Speaker 13 (14:11):
Us?
Speaker 6 (14:11):
You'll thing she's upset because she.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Found out I'm married.
Speaker 6 (14:14):
Oh now, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
You cried a little too, dad, all right, or but
that was during the ceremony, had nothing to do with you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Well, then Why did you cry because you wouldn't let
him go on the honeymoon?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
You sorry, stop, I've seen that, Jackson.
Speaker 17 (14:33):
I got to finish my shopping kids. Look, I've got
to get some California pennant.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
California pennant.
Speaker 17 (14:38):
Yeah, you see, I'm going to the Rose Bowl game
and I want to cheer for California.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But all they got in this door.
Speaker 17 (14:42):
Pennance from Syracuse.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Penance from Syracuse.
Speaker 17 (14:45):
Sure there's a big box up right up there on
the counter. See what it says Syracuse tenants That circus penis.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Sarah cu Penance Phil.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
How can you be she disappeared in the crowd.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Good God.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Now, Mary, I wish you'd help me decide on something
for my sister Flora.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
Jack I've been trying to think.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Hey, mister, are you sure you didn't see my wife?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Look, Boddy, I'd like to help you, but I don't
know what your wife looks like.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
She got any identifying marks?
Speaker 7 (15:25):
Well, she's got a birthmark on never mind, I look
for myself.
Speaker 6 (15:32):
Yeah, yes, you better.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Oh come on, Mary, Why does everybody have to pick
on me? Yes?
Speaker 6 (15:42):
Ill?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Have you made up your mind?
Speaker 13 (15:43):
Son? Huh?
Speaker 10 (15:44):
Oh, oh, I was just looking around. I should like
to give my girl a ring like that.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Well, I don't blame you. That's a beautiful diamond dream.
Speaker 11 (15:51):
How much is it?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Four thousand dollars?
Speaker 7 (15:54):
That doesn't sound so bad?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Way, I look at my bank book?
Speaker 10 (16:00):
Well, or whether I turn the page?
Speaker 6 (16:05):
Well?
Speaker 10 (16:06):
Or will I turn another page?
Speaker 6 (16:09):
Well?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Just a minute, I'm on the last page.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Well, what's on the last page?
Speaker 10 (16:14):
Put something in the pot boy?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Well, look, mister, if you want to buy this ring,
you don't have to pay the four thousand dollars cash.
You can pay for it on easy terms. All you
have to do is establish credit rating, credit rating, Yes,
I have the forums right here.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Your name Rochester Van Jones? Are you employed? Yes, sir?
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Who do you work for?
Speaker 7 (16:38):
Jack Billy?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
What are your duties?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
You mean you want to go on?
Speaker 6 (16:46):
Why?
Speaker 13 (16:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Why are your duties with mister Benny?
Speaker 10 (16:50):
Well, besides being is rum a partner, I'm his personal secretary,
legal advisor, a turn it law and I also select
the scripts for the movies.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
He makes you picky?
Speaker 10 (16:59):
Movie is he has to blame somebody?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Well, I don't agree with you.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
I think that mister Benny is a great entertainer.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Whether it's stage, screen or radio, and as.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Far as I'm concerned, his last picture was one of
the funniest I've ever seen.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
You keep talking like that, you'll be in line for
a pencil sharpener, Jock.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
I think Rochester's over there picking out a gift for you.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I don't want to see me, so let's move on,
Jock Joy, Hey, it's done.
Speaker 13 (17:30):
Why hello, Verry?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Say Jack, I just bought you a present, but I
thought it was silly to wait until Christmas, so I'm
gonna give it to you now here.
Speaker 6 (17:37):
For me a mop?
Speaker 9 (17:40):
But done?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
What can I do with a mop?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
This isn't the mop. I just put a handle on
it so you wouldn't be embarrassed carrying it home. Oh
I see, I thought the widow's peak was so you
could get into the corners, John.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
John, what have you gotten that little bag? Oh?
Speaker 11 (18:06):
Mary, I'm glad to ask me.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Here here, I'll show it to you. It's the cutest
thing you ever saw.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
What is it done?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
See, it's a little toy.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Merry go out well, what do you want that for?
Speaker 6 (18:16):
Out here?
Speaker 11 (18:16):
Let me show you.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
First, you wind it up and then you release the
lever and it spins around and plays music.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Really, let's see how it works.
Speaker 18 (18:23):
Done, Okay, ypty, Lucky Stik is as good as can be.
(18:49):
And smoke up lucky and you will soon.
Speaker 19 (18:53):
See there is nothing like on a lucky keeping.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Everybody knows they're round in perman.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Fully funny, yes, the fully fully.
Speaker 19 (19:14):
Everybody knows they're freeing easy on the very easy.
Speaker 6 (19:17):
There's a free and easy.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Don't you think it's time?
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You're start?
Speaker 9 (19:19):
Not with the card? If you take the time to
dry warm, suret my.
Speaker 6 (19:30):
Down?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
What's the matter or here here? I I better wind
it up again?
Speaker 15 (19:41):
Name can talk.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
Less, l.
Speaker 18 (19:50):
L less mpt yes, sir, lucky pay more say no
no no no no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 13 (20:00):
Let done?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
What happened?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh what a shame it?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Bro don, that's the cutest toy I ever saw.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Yeah, that's a shame of bro Oh that's all right,
I'll get another one.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Well, I've got a run along now, I'll see you
kids later. Bye, don along done. I'm married.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
I don't want to be here all day. I'm going
to get that other present from my sister.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Let's go over the perfume comment.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
Well, Jack I've got some other shopping to do, so
i'll meet you there later, all right.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Mary, don't be too long?
Speaker 11 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:47):
What would kind of perfume?
Speaker 6 (20:48):
I ortiga?
Speaker 9 (20:49):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (20:49):
There you are?
Speaker 2 (20:51):
What is she.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
All for having?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Why do you keep asking me about your wife? I
told you I don't know what she looks like.
Speaker 7 (21:01):
Right here, I'll show you a picture of her.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
See this, This is your wife?
Speaker 7 (21:08):
Yeah, seems silly of me to keep looking for her,
don't it.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
I don't know anyway, miss.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
She must be in the store or someplace, so just
keep looking and you'll probably find her.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
I hope not.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Rue.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Oh, I'd like to get out of here so I
can stop running into such silly Oh, here's the perfume Connor.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Must be something nice here for my sister.
Speaker 16 (21:34):
Oh, Claire, Claire, What can I do for you?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Hm?
Speaker 13 (21:49):
Are you the salesman here?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, you're the salesman here in the perfume department.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Donna take my word for.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
It, smill me.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
I'll take your word for it, thank you.
Speaker 10 (22:13):
Yeah, Now, what kind of prithume would you like to buy?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Well? What kind of you got?
Speaker 10 (22:19):
I've got taboo temptations, shocking white shoulders surrender and you
should excuse the expression my sin.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Wait a minute, I think I think my sister likes taboo,
but I don't.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
Know whether to get it or not.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Taboo or not taboo. That is the question.
Speaker 9 (22:47):
I made that up myself.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I know, I know.
Speaker 7 (22:59):
Everybody says I'm another Milton Violet.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Well your your face.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Your face does look a little like a kinoskull.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
For the.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Now, let's uh, let's see some other perfumes please.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Okay, we have some very nice imported ones.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
Evening in Paris, uh huh, midnight in Madrid, uh huh.
Here's a domestic one morning in the smile?
Speaker 17 (23:37):
Oh are they?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Are they botting it?
Speaker 14 (23:38):
Now?
Speaker 13 (23:39):
Why not?
Speaker 9 (23:40):
We got enough of it?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Yes, oh there I cat.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I thought i'd stop here and get some perfume for Florence.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Clerk.
Speaker 18 (23:48):
What's that?
Speaker 7 (23:49):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (23:49):
This is a very fashionable odor. It's called usu'd we afrail.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Little Anya say that does smell nice?
Speaker 10 (23:59):
Yeah, and it's got ten of sellin and it's to
fight off piroux.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That's not a bad idea, you know you.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
Hey, Jack, here's a perfume your sister Florence might like.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
Load of of v.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Crayon, load of love V creole.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
What does that mean?
Speaker 10 (24:14):
Aroma of freshley sharpened tensil.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh, you're no help.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Imagine putting a clerk like you behind a perfume counter.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
Oh, this ain't my regular job. I just sell perfume
during the Christmas.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Rush, I thought, So what is your regular job?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
I'm a goose girl at Hollywood Pop.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Oh come on, Mary, I've had enough of this guy.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Hey, what's that?
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Well, we've been here all day and it's closing time.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You mean they're closing the store now?
Speaker 7 (24:57):
Yes, Jack, look out.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Oh darn it, there goes my other sleeve.
Speaker 13 (25:11):
Come on, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Care food packages have been improved and increased with more
meats and fats that mean health to hungry children.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
And families overseas.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Twenty two and one a half pounds of life giving
food for ten dollars delivery guaranteed. Send your contribution to
nonprofit Care Los Angeless or New York. That's c Are
Care Los Angeles or New York.
Speaker 11 (25:51):
Zach will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
But first six table.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
When Lucky Strike goes to the tobacco markets, they have
you in mind, deep down enjoyment of smoking, and that's
a big reason why they pay more for fine tobacco than.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
The monon is older American.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yes, friends at the tobacco auctions, Lucky Strike pays millions
of dollars more than official parity prices for fine, life,
naturally mild tobacco you see in a cigarette. It's the
tobacco that counts and lsmft Lucky Strike means fine tobacco.
You'll know this is true with every Lucky you like
or ears, smoking at its finest, smooth, mellow, deeply enjoyable.
(26:31):
There's never a rough puff in a Lucky and like you,
the veteran tobacco men choose Lucky Strike for their own
personal enjoyment. In fact, a recent survey reveals that more
independent tobacco.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Smoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined.
So take a tip from the experts and smoke that
smoke of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. And here's a Christmas
gift suggestion that every friend will welcome, especially wrapped Christmas
carton of Lucky Strike cigarettes ten packs, two hundred cigarettes,
two hundred wonderfully smooth, deeply enjoyable luckies. Yes, give Lucky
(27:10):
Strike Christmas cartons to your friends and keep a good
supply of luckies on hand to add to your enjoyment
of the Christmas season.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
She married.
Speaker 6 (27:28):
This Christmas rush is awful, isn't it.
Speaker 4 (27:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Look how proud of this bus is Heye?
Speaker 6 (27:34):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
HOWI how about you? I'm fine?
Speaker 6 (27:38):
Fine?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Do you ever find your wife?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Who do you think is driving the bus?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
We'll tell Chloe.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Let me off with the next corner, Ladies and gentlemen,
next time they two hours before my own show on
the same network, the Actors Company will present the Man
who came to Dinner with Charles Boyer, Mel Ferrar, Henry Fonda,
(28:09):
John Garfield, Gene Kelly, Dorothy McGuire, Gregory Peck, rosalind Russell,
and yours truly, Jack Benny. I'm sure you'll enjoy the
show and another thing. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time
we meet it will be Christmas Day, so on behalf
of my sponsor, my cast, my entire staff. I want
to take this opportunity to wish each and every one
of you a happy, enjoyous holiday season. Short to have
(28:42):
DNA's Day and a day of a life of Dennis Day.
Speaker 9 (28:46):
Stay tuned the man As Simon.
Speaker 11 (28:48):
Show al which follows immediately.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
That's by the Usidias for Columbia Broadcasting sust
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