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August 16, 2025 29 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
The Jellal Program brought to you by Jello and Jello
Pudding starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Till, Harris, Dennis
stand Yours.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Truly, Don Wilson.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
The Orchestrope is a program with Mama.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Now.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
It lasts the jelatin dessert that gives you all the flavor.
It's the muge Jello, the gelatin dessert that keeps all
of its full original flavor no matter how long it
remains in the package. Up until now, gelatin desserts constantly
faded in flavor while waiting to be used, lost much
of their real taste and tingle. But the new jell
All is different. Today.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Jello's deep, vivid.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Richness is locked right into the tiny Jello particles where
time can't touch it.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Jello loses nothing on its way to you.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
It comes out of the package as rich and full
flavored as it went in.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Just prove it for yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Up in the package of Jello, notice that there's no
heavy fruity aroma, no sign of escaping flavor. It's there
and all its thrilling goodness. Order several packages tomorrow and
look for the big.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Red letters on the box so that you're sure it's
the one and only Jello.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
In Jello, the flavor never goes away. We put it
in and it's there to stay.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
That's Mama, played by the orchestra.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
And now, ladies and gentlemen, at this time, we would
like to turn the clock back to last Friday night
and show you what happens when Jack and the rest
of our gang went out and celebrated Halloween. The time
seven point thirty Friday evening, the place Jack's house, Beverly Hill.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Take it away.

Speaker 4 (02:05):
I don't want is this the world on fire?

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Rochester? I just water. Go where I can get a
Rochester stopped complaining in rhythm and help me get into
my Halloween costume. The Gangle's be here any minute. Hand
me those horns here you are. Pardon, ain't good, bosk,
But what character are you struggling to the day? My

(02:32):
costume is very obvious. I've got on red underwear, a
long tail, horns, and I'm carrying a pitch fork. Now,
who am I the man from the Pine Ass Company?
I am not. I'm the devil. Now hand me that
mirror here you are, sang no, I don't like this effect.

(02:52):
The don horns keeps sweeping, slipping over to one side
the horn. All right?

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Is your two pain?

Speaker 2 (02:57):
The slips? Something wrong there. I don't know why I
picked out a devil costume anyway, Because I bought this
pair of horns, I should use them.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
Why don't you put one of them on your nose
and go on to rune office.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
No, I can't do that. Phil Harris is coming as
Frank Bucan. He shoot me. He'd love the excuse. I
wonder if this tail is too long? Here he was
at the door of Rochester.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yes, come here, I.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Could have done that. Mysell Rochester. When I tell you,
Oh hello Mary, Hello Jess Mary, this is Halloween. I
thought were going to dress up tonight. Where's your costume?
I've got it on on Pocahontas. Pocahontas in a mink coat.
John Smith was nice to me, Oh you're a wampum digger. Eh, well,

(03:56):
at least tick a feather in your hair make it believable.
See what do you think of my outfit? Mary? Don't
I look like the devil? Always to me my costume,
I'm supposed to be Satan. Had you see my horn
straight enough?

Speaker 4 (04:07):
You look like a toad.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Whoever heard of a red toad? There? Say, boy, I'm
going to a mass greade part to night myself. You
all Rochester, what are you gonna be?

Speaker 4 (04:16):
I'm gonna close my eyes and go to Smith's.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Brother's cows drunk. Oh that's kind a bad idea in Rochester.
Why don't you keep one eye open and go as
a period? How's last?

Speaker 4 (04:35):
I better keep both eyes over my lady friends of Rovers.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
All right, dude, you please Jack? What are we gonna
do tonight? Where are we going? I got it all
figured out. Listen to this person going to clawdead Colbert's
house and I'll take a piece of soap and right.
Claudette loves Jack all over her window. Oh you did
that last year she came out and wrote Jack who. Well,
this time she'll know Jack who. When that comes out

(05:00):
of the house, I'm gonna grab her and give her
a kiss. And there's only one guy. This is like Belly.
You don't have to tell me Dad left Mary. I'm
going to give you a good gab with my pitchfork.
If you on look out. Well, anyway, after we live, Cordet,
come in, come in, Well, look what's popping through the

(05:24):
door for Pete's sake. What an outfit? Oh, Jack Mary,
Hello Dan, What are you supposed to be? Or can't
you tell I'm a kangaroo? Well, sure enough, you certainly
look realistic, Don with those long years sticking up in
that great big pouch. But see, I say, I thought
Dennis was coming with you. Where there's the kid pig amoo?

(05:55):
Well i'll be done a baby kangaroo. Yeah, climb, climb
out kid here, I'll help you. Thanks, mister Bennie. Imagine
coming as a little kangaroo. You know, I wasn't gonna
come to the floor lamp a floor lamb. Yeah, but
when I screwed the bugs in my ears, they wouldn't
light up. Oh that's terrible. Maybe I ought to see

(06:25):
a doctor, Dennis, you're not supposed to light up? Get
home married someday I'll have to have a talk with
that kid. By the way, Jack is and Phil joy
to join us tonight. Yeah, he'll drop by as soon
as he finishes night school, say Dennis, while we're waiting
around for him, let's hear that song you're gonna do
on the program Sunday. Yeah, get over the piano kids, Okay, okay,

(06:45):
Rochester you ask our border mister Billingsley to tune the piano.
He's very good at it. You know.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
We should have never let him walk in with a boss.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh what's he done? Now?

Speaker 4 (06:54):
That man's crazy?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
He cleaned the piano keys with dentil floors. Billings We
must think he's a dentist again. It's the fine way
to clean piano keys.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
He said the black ones would the change, so.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
He pulled him out. Oh my goodness, he broke eight needles.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Pana gives the legs normal, K.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Well, it's my own, Paul. I guess we'll do the
best you can. Dennis, go ahead, wait a minute, I'll answer. Hello. Oho, Phil,
are you still at night school? We're waiting for you.
What he's keeping after school? What happened? Jack?

Speaker 4 (07:39):
Well?

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Phil got a zero in selling, so he gave the
teacher a hotpoot. Look, Phil, is your teacher anywhere near
the phone? Well? Tell her your father wants to talk
to her. Yeah, yeah, your father. What are you gonna do?

Speaker 4 (07:54):
Jack?

Speaker 2 (07:54):
I want to pretend to be Phil's father. You know,
I'll talk like an old rube. When he got the
right underwear for us, Why now, don't mix me up? Hello, Hollo, man,
this is quick, Harris Senior talking. Hell. Look, ma'am, I
gotta see my boy, he said right away. So I
wish you let him off tonight. I like your note
explaining everything I said. I'd like you to note that's

(08:17):
a good one. That's what she says. She wants to
know how come I can write and fill tends? Okay,
thanks a lot, ma'am. Say what are you doing later? Well,
you can't shoot a man for crying goodbye. Well, it's

(08:37):
all set. Fellas still be here pretty soon. You know that, teacher,
you're out of a sweet voice. I could kind of
go br But Jack, you don't even know what she
looks like. Anything he gets is gravy. I don't know
about that. They're saying, Dennis, see this pitchfork. Mary, you're
gonna get us now.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
You're why why the rain? When you're in my.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Know? Why?

Speaker 5 (09:19):
And so.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
You? Why Robinson in December, long before the springtime?

Speaker 2 (09:33):
Is you?

Speaker 3 (09:35):
And even though it's snowing while it's hot growing? I
know why?

Speaker 2 (09:42):
And so do you?

Speaker 5 (09:46):
Why do breathe a sigh every easy whispering your name? Mary?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Do?

Speaker 5 (09:56):
And why have I the feeling on my ceiling?

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Fine?

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Why a god you.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
When you smile?

Speaker 4 (10:09):
Let me?

Speaker 5 (10:11):
Why here Chippy, when.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
You stands with me in heading.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
When the new.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Speaking.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
I can see the sun when it's rainy, hiding every
cloud from I view? And why why the rainbows when
you're in my I know why?

Speaker 6 (10:58):
And so.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Thanks? I that was all right, Donnas. That's song out
to go over twelve Sunday.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Thanks mister Benny.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Can I have something to eat? I'm hungry too. Haven't
you got any sandwiches? I've got donuts and cider. That's
all you're supposed to have on halloweens. Bring in the donuts, Rochester.
They're right here for Oh, yes, you'll have a donut, Mary.
They're nice and fresh. I made them myself. You please
look at the size of the holes you got in them.
Never mind, it looks like ladies' daughters. Quiet, will you?

Speaker 5 (11:49):
Oh what she said?

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Dennis? No use waiting. I gotta have a crop with
that kid here, don don have a donut? Have a
donut some of this, sweet sider say now, I think
I'll have a glass of that myself. Putty strong, Jack strong,

(12:24):
Let me taste this well, I'll be done all right.

Speaker 4 (12:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Why did you put in this.

Speaker 4 (12:35):
Side, a little simple avenue.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
There's dining there now. Now throw that fighter out the window.
You ain't gonna throw mine out. Dennis, you're not drinking
any hot. You're a baby kangaroo. Oh I can't hop
on milk? Let don hop? Are you get back in
that pout? Okay, see you, lady Fellas. I'll stay there. Hee.

(13:15):
I wish still would get here so we can go ahead.
Whatsh Look who's coming where? Oh yes, mister Billingsley. He's
just like Marie Antlanette. Yeah. Oh, oh, hello mister Billingsley.
Good evening, mister Benny having a little party. I see, yes, yes, yes.

(13:35):
By the way, mister Billingsley, Uh, your dress is Marie Antlinette.
Are you going to masquerade?

Speaker 3 (13:41):
No?

Speaker 2 (13:41):
My headache so I'm going to have it cut off.
Oh oh, I thought you were celebrating Halloween like we are.
You see, I'm Seyton and miss Livington is Pocahontas and
mister Wilson is a kangaroo. I used to be an
alligator once and now I'm an all bag. Well, well

(14:09):
see you later. Good night, mister Bennie. Good night. That's
one way to look at it. HM. Dreams fellow. The
other morning for breakfast, he swallowed a raw egg and
then drank boiling water for three minutes. I don't know. Well,

(14:35):
then Phil, come on in, Phil, I ejected. Hello everybody,
I'm glad you got here. Phil, we want to get going.
I'm sorry, but I didn't have time to put no
costume on. Don't worry. Your tailor takes care of that. Hey, Phil,
what happened between you and the teacher? All right, she
got mad at me when we were having our swelling lessons. Oh,

(14:58):
what is the trouble? Yes, it felt pomeranian. Pomeranian? No,
I said to take it a leave. Well, at least
you knew Pomeranian was a dog. That's something. Well, we're
all here, so come on, fellers, let's go. It's time
put on a lot of waits. That's last week, that's Dennis.
That's a long story. Come on, everybody, let's go a

(15:26):
rock Yes, sir, rocketter. Before you leave, be sure and
lock the garage so that nobody damages a Maxwell. Okay,
remember last year some kid got in there and turned
it over. Yeah, we go around.

Speaker 4 (15:36):
Three days without even notice.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
I noticed that it was as bumpy as anything. All
right this way, fellows a long block side door. Boy,
we really we really have flooded knife you know. Kids,
First we'll go next door to Ronald Coleman's house, see,
and then you walk here comes back the little boy you
hired as a das man. Let's take him along. Oh,
Belly laughed far from me. Hello kid, Oh less your baby?

(16:03):
Say Belly, do you uh one of out with us?
Tonight We're gonna ring doorbells and raise the dickens? Yeah,
a little analysts nice you bob. Oh, we'll enjoy ourselves. Sorry,
won't come along, by the way, how's the program coming
along for Sunday? It's like playing you won't have any

(16:23):
fun tonight. We'll get busy and concentrate. Come on, fellas,
I'll tell you what kids work for peace across the
lawn at Ronald Coleman's house and put some white paint
on the door knocks. See. Then we'll ring the bell
and when he comes out, we'll run like the dickens.

(18:13):
See I I ran Coleman fell three times. Why doesn't
he come out? Maybe he want to throw a party
or something. Couldn't be a big party, or I'd have
been invited Ronnie and I attend the same affairs, only
he doesn't have to crawl in the window. Well, these
Hollywood parties, who knows whether he's got an invitation or not.
Hey tellers, I've got an idea. As long as Coleman

(18:34):
isn't home, Let's take this beautiful sun dial here and
put it over on my front lawn, his sun dial. Yeah,
it will be a swell gag. Three years ago you
took his tagpole. When's the gag over? Oh? Get my
Halloween spirit? Will you come on? So, let's give me
a hand with this dial and Jack. Look, there's a
policeman walking by the house. A policeman. Oh oh, is

(18:56):
that you're mister Colman? Set this village, I say, frosting,
old boy, tell me decent? W good? I get it.
I I shurt me pooled the blighters. Take that donut
out of your eye. You're not common anymore. Oh yeah,

(19:19):
I say, fellas. We'll never butt this sun dial. It's
too heavy. I'll have the phone for some movers. I'll
tell you what though. Let's let's go over to Basle
laugh phones. Does he live in their head? Jason? Yeah,
right past my house on the other side. Of the street.
Come on, ool on this tail, I keep stripping up. Hmm,

(19:46):
look at that light in my kitchen. Belly laughers, and
they're eating me out of house and homes. All the
writers with ulcers, and I had to get him. Oh well,
oh jack look us where? Hey? Wait a minute? Who

(20:06):
wrote this on my sidewalk? Tello has that new locked
in flavor? The flavor never goes away. We put it
in in the sad to say who did this? Don't
look at me that right? Oh yeah, Now, don you
go get a rag and wipe it off. I'll tell
a fifer. I'll like the big fat paddle tale. Leave
us there, now, follow me down me cross the sea.

(20:27):
Fellas o, well, go to Rathbone's house, white not he
will take them good? Which house is it, Jackson? Wait
a minute, I don't know whether this Rathbone's house is
the next one. I think it's this one. No, no,
it's the next one. This is where Charles boy here lives.
Oh that's right, say let's pull some jag on him. Yeah,

(20:48):
maybe he's got a sun down. We can left you now.
I'll just sneak up and ring his doorbell. Wait here, fellers, Hey, Jackson.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
Nick.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Here comes that cop again. Oh, oh is that you
all miss the boy? Here I go with jet fellas.
Good evening office, say beautiful, nah, beautiful, yes to this?
Good night mister boy Bone player m lucky. I can

(21:19):
speak friends exact. Let's get away from here. The police
from five will come back. Night at that. I'll tell
you what. Let's go through this driveway, keep over the
back roones, back yards, a following fellas. Everybody quiet, Well,

(21:47):
here we are he had start tonight? Hey, what does
shield disappeared to?

Speaker 3 (21:51):
I don't know where has he gone?

Speaker 2 (21:52):
He was with us a minute ago? Have you seen him, Dennis?
He's not in here, of course? Now here he comes?
Now where have you been? So? Why am I weft?

(22:14):
Why didn't you tell me that draft boone had a
swimming pool? Why don't you watch where you're going? I
swallow enough wanted to laugh the rest of my life.
Oh it didn't hurt you to go out in the
wagon even for a second. Now wait here, kid, I'm
going up and knock on the door. Raft Bone comes out.
Hide in the bushes. Wow, he be furious. Oh, be
careful about Jack, don't worry about me. Not quiet, Get ready, fellows.

Speaker 6 (22:41):
Yeah, don those milk bottles.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
I hope I didn't cut myself? Am I bleeding? Mary? With?
What with blood? I've got it the ideas like just
went on Jack? Why everybody? Yes? Yes, yes?

Speaker 7 (23:15):
Who is there? Anybody asked? I care's anybody there? Must
see some of those Halloween thankster. Now, don't care your children.
I don't want any more of this to tell it.
I'm gonna get up early in the morning. I'm making
a picture.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
What I am? Why I can't go around hill again tonight?
I'll give you all a some good tracking.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
I tak away all of you.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
Oh? Boy is he is? He burned up? Boy? Am
I going to make his life miserable? To life? Wait
a matter? What do you got against raspborne? Jack hated
because he can ask that so I can see him
imitate boyer like I did. I'll fellows this time. I'm
gonna grab this big rock here and hold up against
the door.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Oh you can't take those steps again, Hey daddy, I.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Can climb, only this will be more annoying. I hear goals.
I'm gonna throw the rock one tail. What are you
doing back there? Nothing? We get away?

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Two?

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Three? Go Holy smoke. I broke a window. They're going
to port flight again till its front. He's coming out?
Who well, I'll be hey, what is it? Come on
right now? I can't run now, don Phil Harris tied
my tail to this port. See what a spot?

Speaker 3 (24:46):
She?

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Hope Raccone doesn't see me? I ever get my hands on? Look?
Oh who's lighting there? Who's in back of that boat?
Right now? I give one thousand dollars to be playing
Salt Lake City? See here he comes? Well?

Speaker 7 (25:06):
May I enquire the name of the morons behind that
mosque who goes around breaking windows?

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Who are you? He? Come? Come? Come? Man? Speak up, Ah, Bessie,
I'm won'tly make me see Joe, it is me child
bo yeer, mister Bennie. Your accent is revolting. Oh oh ho, Basil? Hello,

(25:31):
how do you know it was me?

Speaker 7 (25:32):
You wore that same costume lost halloweens when you're tipped
over my jug house?

Speaker 2 (25:36):
Oh? I want that dog back? Where is he? Well?
He had pups today. You're a fine turlock home ill
of Basil. I'm sorry I threw that rock. It was
an accident, accident, don't know accident. You'll pay for that window.
All right, all right, I'll pay for it. Mister Bennie.

(25:58):
What are you doing? I'm i time my tale. What
do you think I'm doing? I'm very sorry about the
whole thing battle. I won't boby anymore tonight. I'm go
and join my game. You're going to continue this mischievous business? Well, well,
listen to tending the truth. Are going over to child's
Lawton's house. You know those flower poppies out on his
front port. Yes, well, listen, we're gonna tip him over
one by one. He will go crazy when he hears

(26:19):
that rack say, Lawton is up fifth temper you said it? Well,
halong bassl, Happy Halloween, good bye, we see collor fun.
Wait a minute, jack, old boy, I'm going with you.
What do you want to join this? I'll tell my
wife did that say to Darling? Hey, fellas if I

(26:40):
got a surprise for you? Come on Bassel yet me?

Speaker 4 (26:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Listen, let here's what we'll do. First for going to
lawton house. Then we'll go over to claw their cords
and ring the door Bellsie, And when she comes out, I'll.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
Cree hares for free Grand pudding, yellow chocolate, Jellow vanilla
and jello butterscotch pudding. Pree delicious desserts made by the
same people who make world famous jello. Jello puddings are
puddings that even Grandma would be proud to serve, Puddings
that really taste homemade. Yes, they take only just a
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(27:24):
to do is add milk and bring to a boil,
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Speaker 2 (27:38):
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Speaker 1 (27:43):
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Speaker 2 (28:08):
This is the last number of the fifth program in
the current Jello series, and we will be with you
again next Sunday night at the same time. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank mister Rasbone
for appearing on our program tonight. Also, at this time,
I would like to announce that the motion picture drive
for the Community Test this year starts tomorrow, November three.
I'm sure that all of us here in Hollywood will
do our bit, and I hope all of you will

(28:29):
contribute to your local chapters. Good Night, everybody, friends.

Speaker 8 (28:47):
The name Jello is a sure sign of goodness wherever
you find it, whether it's on a package of Jello
or on a package of Jello pudding. Jello puddings are
made by the same folks who make Jello, and like Jello,
they're downright swell. They're simply unrivaled for smooth, luscious flavor.
They are easy to prepare, just as Jello is, and

(29:08):
they sell for the same low Jello prize. So tomorrow,
when you order Jello, get Jello puddings in all three
flavors chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. Remember Jello and Jello puddings.
This is the Red Network of the National Broadcasting Company KFFI,
Los Angeles,
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