August 19, 2025 • 30 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hammerton Lucky Strike first.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Again with tobacco men first, again, with tobacco.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Men, more independent tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike regularly than
the next two leading brands combined.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
There you have the findings of a recent impartial survey
which reveals the personal smoking preference of tobacco men, auctioneers, buyers,
and warehousemen. Yes, the survey shows Lucky Strike first again
with tobacco men.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
First, again, with tobacco men first again, with the men
who can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select
and buy that fine, that light that naturally mile tobacco.
So light up a Lucky buff by puff you'll see
ls m F T ls m F T Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco and then a cigarette. It's the tobacco
that counts, though. For your own reels, z down, smoke enjoyment, smokeless, moke,
(01:01):
tobacco expert smoke Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
First again with.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Tobacco man, the Lucky Strike program storrying Jack Benny with Mary,
let me sing, Phil Harris, Rochester, Mneste and here's truly
done with ladies and gentlemen, last week, the thought of
(01:39):
our show felt that he needed a vacation, so he
took a week off and went to New York. But tonight,
I'm happy to announce that the prodigal son has returned.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
And here he is, Jack.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Benny, Hi, Hi today, Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking.
And Don, I think that was a very fitting introduction,
because I do feel like a prodigal son.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Well, thank you, Jack, and welcome home.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And it's very appropriate to the prodigal son being welcomed
by the fatted cast.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
But Don, it's good to be back.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Does you have a good time in New York?
Speaker 6 (02:20):
Jack wonderful?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I saw more of everybody I knew, Irving Berlin, b
lily Ed Sullivan, Fred Allen, Jack Eigens.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Also you saw Fred Allen?
Speaker 6 (02:28):
Huh yeah, well uh, how'd you find Fred?
Speaker 7 (02:31):
I just pushed.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Aside those bags and there he was.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Honestly, Don, he has the biggest bags over his eyes,
over his eyes. He's wearing them in an up sweet
this year he got tired of stepping on us. You know,
I saw Fred at his broadcast. It's really amazing how
lucky he's been.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
What do you mean lucky?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
The way he ran a case of sinus into a
million dollars.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Honestly's on the way Fred talks.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
He saw, Well, Hello.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
Mary, Hello Jack, welcome home.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well that's a fine welcome home. Haven't you got a
great big kids?
Speaker 8 (03:12):
I had one, but last week I gave it to
Robert Taylor?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
All right, So couldn't you save a little kiss for me?
Speaker 9 (03:19):
Jack?
Speaker 8 (03:20):
When Taylor takes over a show, he takes it all.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Well, I will say one thing. He did a wonderful job,
and so did you. Mary, you were great. Last week I.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Was in New York and I heard it the kids,
no the shows. Anyway, I had a wonderful vacation in
New York. You know, this year they're having one of
the most successful theatrical seasons they've ever had. They charge
a lot of money, you know, for their tickets, but
it's worth it. What show the street car name Desire
High Button Shoes inside USA? And mister Robert, Oh gosh.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Jack, I certainly am for you.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
How did you like a.
Speaker 6 (03:55):
Street car name Desire?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, I didn't get to see that show. I'm sorry
I missed it.
Speaker 8 (04:02):
Oh that's bad. But Jack, I'll bet you enjoy high
button shoes.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
I heard it was a great musical.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, well I didn't see that one either. You see,
before I knew it, it was Thursday night, and that
was the night I was going to see mister Robert.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
Well Jack, when I get to New York, that's the
show I'm most anxious to see, mister Roberts.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, yes, how'd you enjoy that?
Speaker 6 (04:30):
Well, that's the one I'm really sorry I missed.
Speaker 9 (04:34):
See.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I got as far as the lobby, and the girl
in the box office made me so mad I wouldn't
go in.
Speaker 7 (04:38):
What'd you say to you?
Speaker 10 (04:39):
Six sixty?
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Please?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Please, Pixy, please, I'm smart, Alex, since you took over
the show last week.
Speaker 11 (04:52):
Anyway, money had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Henry Fonda, the star of Mister Roberts, gave me two passes.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
I wish I hadn't sold them. Now, what about you,
mar or anything happened with you.
Speaker 12 (05:06):
While I was away?
Speaker 13 (05:06):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (05:07):
Nothing much except that I received another letter from my mother.
Speaker 6 (05:10):
Your mother?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Well, what is the Republican dark Horse of Plainfield?
Speaker 9 (05:14):
Half the thing?
Speaker 10 (05:15):
I've got it right here.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Do you want me to read it to you?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, but you're going to do it anyway, So go ahead,
all right, My darling daughter. Allan would say, if you
didn't read it, the program will be short. You know,
says it every week, the same thing every week.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Go ahead. I'm sorry, my darling daughter, Mary.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I received your letter and I want to thank you
for sending me twenty five dollars for Mother's Day. You're
so generous. What other girl was ten her mother a
whole week's salary?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
You are generous.
Speaker 10 (05:47):
Mary.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
I bought myself addressed with some of the money, and
with the rest of it, I bought Tamsa a beautiful
monogram wall at that keeps his unapployment checks in and
that reminds me your babe is no longer on vacation.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
A couple of weeks ago, she.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Got a telegram from John L. Lewis telling her go
back to work.
Speaker 11 (06:11):
Good old babe, I'll never forget her in the Eastern
Parade rolling down the Avenue with that lamp on her hat,
and exactly, I'm sorry, Mary.
Speaker 8 (06:19):
Continue I heard you on the program last week. The
broadcast you did was Robert Taylor, and I must say
it was a wonderful show without Jack. It was the
first time in five years that my air Wix took
her Sunday off, no other news, so we're closed now.
(06:40):
Your loving mother, nature girl living Ston.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
You're all married. Your mother writes some of the films.
John Mary Wow, Hello, Dennis.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
See mister Taylor.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
I don't know what happened to you since last Sunday.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
But you look awf on now.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
JNNA.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
For heaven's sake, I'm not Robert Taylor. Look over, I'm
Jack Benny.
Speaker 14 (07:05):
Oh, I don't blame you for being mad?
Speaker 8 (07:10):
Well, Dennis, aren't you happy that mister Benny's back?
Speaker 14 (07:13):
I certainly am. You know, mister Benny, while you were gone,
I sure missed you.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Well. Thanks kid.
Speaker 14 (07:18):
You know you wouldn't believe it, but I was like
a lost soul. I felt awful.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
I couldn't even eat.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Well, that's a shame.
Speaker 10 (07:24):
Yeah, next time you go away, you ought to pay
some advance.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Dennis, You've got a lot of nerves for jesting anything
like that. After all, Mary was on last week's program too.
She didn't mention anything about being paid.
Speaker 14 (07:39):
Well, she doesn't care about money. She got kissed by
Robert Taylor.
Speaker 9 (07:43):
What.
Speaker 10 (07:44):
He wouldn't even put his arm around me.
Speaker 14 (07:51):
I mean I looked like much, but he ought to
take my potato pancakes, Jannis Pop being.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
So silly, and get ready for your songs?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, marry before I forget, will you wait and drive
me home after the broadcast?
Speaker 10 (08:05):
Wait your car?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Well, I'm thinking of getting a new one, so I
sent Rochester out to see he can get a good
trade in you see.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
I hope that he's.
Speaker 12 (08:12):
Hello kids, Well look who's back?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Little boy blue eyes him a Jackson, Hello, fell House
Mcino's answer to it pays to be ignorant.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
That's what he didn't know was in there.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
He had another one written.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
It wasn't nearly as funny.
Speaker 11 (08:38):
H Oh, I'm fine, dad, Right, you're back Dad. What
you think of the program we did last week without you?
I thought was an excellent show. I thought Robert Taylor
did a wonderful job.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Who did a wonderful job?
Speaker 6 (08:56):
Robert Taylor?
Speaker 11 (08:57):
You don't buy any chance to mean?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Spangler Arling and Brew?
Speaker 12 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
What about it? Fangarleason brew O Spangy?
Speaker 13 (09:09):
What a name?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Brew?
Speaker 11 (09:10):
Before I met him, I didn't know whether I was
supposed to Shakey's hand or.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Blow the foam up? Well, anyway, what do you have
to get him for?
Speaker 13 (09:19):
When you got me me?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
The one and only inimitable harass.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, you're not inimitable. It's just that nobody wants to
be like you. And I'm surprised you pronounced it right now?
Speaker 13 (09:32):
Look at ye?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Wait a minute, what.
Speaker 7 (09:35):
I don't care what you say.
Speaker 11 (09:36):
I'd much rather be like me than Spangler Arlington Broom
for having's sake?
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Here, what do you got against.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Robert ham burns me up?
Speaker 7 (09:42):
He's married to a beautiful actress.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
He's a good looking guy.
Speaker 11 (09:44):
He's got nice wavy hair and a great personality.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So what you're married to a beautiful actress. You're a
good looking guy, and you've got nice wavy hair, and
you've got a great personality too.
Speaker 10 (09:56):
I know, well, what about it?
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I just wanted to hear you say.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
All right till I said, and I'll tell us. Let's teazelle.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Are you taking bowsers?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Your head so big a teeth bending you over?
Speaker 9 (10:28):
Now?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Come on, Dan's let's.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Have your thought.
Speaker 10 (10:30):
What do you want me to sing?
Speaker 6 (10:32):
I don't know what do you got prepared to pay?
Speaker 13 (10:33):
The pancakes?
Speaker 12 (10:35):
All right?
Speaker 13 (10:35):
Sitting back?
Speaker 6 (10:36):
Can't get anything.
Speaker 12 (11:03):
There?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Gold to you?
Speaker 12 (11:06):
Real in my hall? Oh so you.
Speaker 13 (11:15):
My froma.
Speaker 12 (11:22):
Fabl Oh it all.
Speaker 13 (11:37):
Let me be dream dream dot did you form.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
Met and hreay.
Speaker 13 (12:01):
My hound hallst my hoted.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Screamp sleep and.
Speaker 13 (12:28):
Lonely song, scream Loka its you my belong.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
And brea.
Speaker 13 (12:44):
My hold it all, my ho.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Ho.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That was hard and hard, sung by Dennis Dave, very
good Dennis. And now ladies and gentlemen, and answer the
thousands of requests. Is our feature traction tonight? Where are
going to repeat our version of that great universal international production.
Speaker 12 (13:25):
The Egg and I?
Speaker 11 (13:27):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
How come we aren't doing a new play tonight.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Because in order to do a new play it has
to be written. And my writers lost their typewriter at
the opening of Hollywood Park.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Now on this sketch, I.
Speaker 10 (13:39):
Will all right.
Speaker 8 (13:40):
So they lost their typewriters, the races couldn't they dictate
the scripts of their secretaries.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
They lost her too. It looked so forlorn as they
pushed her through the five dollars windows. Now this catch,
I will play the part.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Of oh darn it, Hello al much Rochester?
Speaker 11 (14:00):
All right? Have you done anything about trading my car in?
Speaker 12 (14:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (14:03):
I was busy all morning.
Speaker 15 (14:04):
First time took us a mad man month he looked
the car over there carefully, but he didn't offer money.
Speaker 7 (14:10):
Well, how much did he praise it?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
For?
Speaker 9 (14:11):
Fourth?
Speaker 15 (14:12):
When the car gets that hold it on the praise,
let's say, way, so then I go over Donna John's play.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
He looked at the car and offered us.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Ten dollars and seventy five cent Well, of all the nerves,
the life who played the old is worth that much.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
That's the only party wanted.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
Oh trifle of this courage, But I'm doing it.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
I drove and the Smiling Eyes was locked and bad.
Well we had a little couple up.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Why what happened?
Speaker 15 (14:45):
As the Smiling eyes when planning to do our car
to inspect it, he slammed the door and the fender.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
Fent on whitch fender dese fenders. Ye oh my goodness.
Then what did you do?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I decided to go home?
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Uh huh, And while I was driving.
Speaker 10 (15:04):
Down Wilson Boulevard, something went wrong with the steering wheel.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
In the car ran right into the lebret tarpis.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
Oh, that's terrible, worse than.
Speaker 7 (15:12):
Your things to pit through it back out again?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Gee, Roches's right expecting you to sell the car today?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
You can try it again tomorrow. Yes, good night, goodbye,
come on, kids, let's get on.
Speaker 11 (15:33):
Let's get on with our.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
Play, and our ladies and gentlemen, we will proceed with
our version of the Egg and Eyes.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
In this sketch, I will be Patrick Murray and Mary
Livingston will be Claude ed Kolbek.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
What part am I going to play?
Speaker 7 (15:44):
Jack?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Well?
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Down the scene takes place on a farm, so you
can play the part of our pig.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Oh Jack, Every time you do a farm sketch, I
play the part of a pick.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
I want to do something else. Well, what would you
like to be? Don? A canary? Don you a canary?
Speaker 7 (16:02):
Peepeppe pete.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
That's not so bad, all right, Don you can be
the canary. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the egg and Eye.
As the scene opens, we find the newlywed Claudette and
Fred driving out to their new home. Gee, Claudette, I
(16:32):
hope you like the new farmhouse I bought.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Oh, I will mister McMurray. You can call me Mac,
you know, honey, I can't believe we're really married at last.
Speaker 8 (16:42):
Yeah, it was such a wonderful wedding ceremony. But you
were so nervous.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
I was not nervous.
Speaker 8 (16:48):
You were too You put the ring on your own finger,
kissed the best man, and gave the creature a potato pancake.
Speaker 11 (16:55):
A friend of mine makes them. But Darling wasn't as
exciting as we drove away from the church with those
old shoes tied in the back of the car.
Speaker 7 (17:05):
Yeah, I wonder what made.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
Them bounce like that.
Speaker 8 (17:08):
My mother was still in them.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
Oh yes, I cut her loose. So we went through Anaheim.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
They can always use another Smudgepop there, old Look, there's
our farmhouse.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
Here we are lood, Darling. There's our new home.
Speaker 8 (17:29):
See it sure looks run down.
Speaker 11 (17:31):
Yeah, but we'll fix it up. There's a real estate man. Oh, mister, mister,
how do you do?
Speaker 9 (17:40):
How do you do?
Speaker 6 (17:40):
I just bought this house. You're the man from the
real estate office, aren't.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You, Yes, Milson's name.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
I'm here to show you around.
Speaker 8 (17:47):
See what a secutiest style of architecture this house has.
It's not French Normandy. Is it Early Americans?
Speaker 9 (17:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Crummy Colonial.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
Let's go inside.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Come on, honey, all right, I'm talking to my wife.
Oh just follow me, folks, I'll show you through the house.
This is the living room, this is the dining room,
(18:21):
and this is the bedroom. Hey, mister Nelson, does the.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
Bathroom have a tile floor?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Shall we go out and see?
Speaker 8 (18:39):
Oh, mister Nelson, I'd like to see the kitchen right
through this door.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
There isn't it a beauty?
Speaker 9 (18:48):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
This dove looks very old and awfully dirty.
Speaker 16 (18:53):
Oh, I guess the little dust. I'll blow it off, Misteread.
Have you tried sen send.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
What?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Well?
Speaker 10 (19:20):
It's getting kind of late.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
I better go goodbyeus and Nelson good Barson.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
Mister Nelson stopped catching her.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Well, if Robert Taylor doesn't care, why should you.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
Well, Darling, here we are in our own little home.
We better start getting to sleep too.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
On a farm.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
You know you have to get up at four in
the morning.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
You're right, seetheart. But it's so nice to be alone,
just the two of us.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Yeah, well, darling, good night, good night.
Speaker 9 (19:49):
Get out of.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Oh, darling, Darling, you're snoring.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
No, no, that's the rooster.
Speaker 9 (20:21):
It's morning.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh oh, will you.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Hurry and get breakfast ready? I'll go out and milk
the cows. Good thing, I slept in my clothes all right,
HiT's dark this early in the morning. Now, where's that
milking pail?
Speaker 17 (20:43):
Now Here?
Speaker 6 (20:43):
It is easy, bossy easy. That's a good girl. Bossy easy,
bossy easy.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
See I.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
Can't seem to find oh oh wrong and oh easy
bossy easy? The whole still mail while I picked the
pail on shore.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
We're really going to be cut off the air tonight.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
There, bossy there, that's a good girl.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
Oh still, while I fixed the pail of sure there.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Oh la la la la, oh la la la la,
oh la la.
Speaker 11 (22:03):
La la, oh la la la la, better change, Oh Fred,
are you milky?
Speaker 6 (22:15):
I'm not, but I think the cow is.
Speaker 9 (22:18):
He?
Speaker 6 (22:18):
Where are you holding?
Speaker 13 (22:19):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Look, I just on it.
Speaker 8 (22:21):
It's a black kitten with a white stripe down its back.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Well shots, If that isn't the cutest look kitty? Have
you tried sencing?
Speaker 13 (22:30):
I call that?
Speaker 7 (22:31):
Don't stand it a wrong?
Speaker 6 (22:32):
We gotta feed the animal, okay, look said.
Speaker 8 (22:37):
Isn't excuse the way our canary follows us around?
Speaker 6 (22:39):
My shoe, canary shoe.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
We got to feed the chicken. There, chick, chick, chick, chick,
kick your chick, chick chick.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Come on, chick chick, here's.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Some corn for you.
Speaker 8 (22:46):
Oh Fred, look at the hen sitting on the neck.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, oh yeah, see Now we gotta get breakfast. Well,
(23:15):
I better get some oats for the horse, Hey, for
the cow. And look.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
What happened.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
Our canary steps on the pig and killed it.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
See that's too bad.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
A canary.
Speaker 11 (23:33):
I should have gotten suspicions when he bent.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Some bars in his cave. Let's get all up.
Speaker 11 (23:38):
Here comes someone, Hello, loudy neighbors, childies, he cares?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Is my name? Live right over the hill.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
Well do you have a farm over there?
Speaker 12 (23:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Farm raised little of this, little of that, mostly carn.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
So you're a pig?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No from a spell?
Speaker 13 (23:55):
Or you have a steal.
Speaker 11 (23:56):
Yeah, she'll make twenty gallon a day, twenty gallas here.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That ain't bad, old lady, don't dream.
Speaker 10 (24:08):
We just loved in here.
Speaker 8 (24:09):
Seeke, how long you been living around this second?
Speaker 11 (24:12):
Well? Little let me see now, I moved here in
nineteen eighteen. That's nineteen forty.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That's that's sixteen years.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Wait a minute, a date from nineteen eighteen, and I
was thirty years you've lived here. We don't count the
fourteen years of prohibition is living?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Got the children?
Speaker 7 (24:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (24:28):
I forgot two sons, but we ain't sent them since
they ran away with a circus ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Show miss the boy.
Speaker 8 (24:39):
Well, it's the shame both of them. Least maybe one
of them will come back.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
The ain't likely. They're Siamese twins. Siamese twins.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Yeah, they're pretty attacked to each other.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Oh you're the Barnyard's.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Answer to Phil Harris, by the way, is he?
Speaker 11 (24:56):
Because that field over there part of your father? Yeah,
that's the place where I raised mus have lack a
son knows. My hired hands out there picking it now
where right over there?
Speaker 5 (25:06):
M thinking what a cat would be if we had
no body.
Speaker 12 (25:15):
Grable or no wellness?
Speaker 11 (25:20):
En you been. We've been working raising Abaco Street, make
the back of Lucky Snake.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
For many and rage. Once they went down to the
city just to see a bur leaque.
Speaker 7 (25:34):
They came back and brought.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
A sample around and burn with eyes of blood.
Speaker 12 (25:40):
Been moving weird, joking mate, difference where we.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
Won't we even always one smoking lock?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
You give the counting home?
Speaker 10 (25:53):
He's your farm mans the.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Gray book, Yes, sir, say they sing all the time.
Speaker 10 (26:01):
Hi, the neighbors parties.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Good to see you all.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
Well, hello are you maul Kettle?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Is the name live right down the road?
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Which house?
Speaker 8 (26:10):
No house just down the road.
Speaker 11 (26:13):
No howe Yes, she's married to Paul Kettle, the laziest
man in the state.
Speaker 10 (26:17):
He's the laziest man in the world.
Speaker 12 (26:20):
He won't even pick his teeth.
Speaker 7 (26:22):
I had to go down the store and pick him
for it, kissing.
Speaker 12 (26:27):
Well, what do you know?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Here comes Paul Kettle, the lazy critter.
Speaker 10 (26:30):
Now name is Zennis, But folks, Paul and Paul hier Paul?
Hi is he KaiA? Folks, ma put your arms around
me and squeeze me. I feel like I say.
Speaker 11 (26:46):
They talk a little faster, we won't get off the shone.
Speaker 10 (26:52):
Well, that feels better. Any place to lie down around here? Oh, Paul,
stand up profile. Oh by the way, what are you
folks bringing on?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Raising here?
Speaker 6 (27:00):
Chicken?
Speaker 18 (27:00):
I wouldn't try it if I were you. Try to
raise on myself a few years ago, never had me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Look what happened.
Speaker 10 (27:06):
I bought ten hens. They laid up a lot of eggs,
but none of them ever did hats.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
How many roosters did you have?
Speaker 9 (27:11):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Root?
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Well, I guess I better be going wrong. Now we've
gotta go home and help my pig write a letter.
Your pig writes letter, I just tell him how to spell.
He already has the pen and inink.
Speaker 18 (27:27):
Oh fuck jettle, you're sharper than a potato pancake.
Speaker 8 (27:32):
Well, let's folks, my husband and I are just going
in to have breakfast.
Speaker 10 (27:35):
I just come in and join us.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
It's okay with me, me too, pick me up, mare, Well,
come on, let's all go in.
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Hey, wait a minute, what happened to Zeke?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Where's Zeke?
Speaker 18 (27:42):
Harra Oh he had to run along. He's got his
own show. What I can stay it on Wednesday?
Speaker 11 (27:53):
Oh, breakfast is on me on you?
Speaker 8 (27:56):
Yes, we haven't got a table. Oh god, you've only
been on the farm one day, but you've got corn
all over.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
You said it and we just made it. Come on,
hear the professor.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Hat American Lucky Strike first again with Tobacco Man.
Speaker 7 (28:25):
First again with Tobacco Man.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
As a recent impartial survey reveals, more independent tobacco experts
spoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined,
more than the next two leading brands combined.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Lucky Strike first again with Tobacco Man. That's what the
survey shows. Now listen to what mister Garland Fletcher Tilly,
twenty five years at Tobacco Buyer recently said.
Speaker 17 (28:53):
At auction after auction, I've seen fine, ripe, mild tobacco bought,
but the makers of Lucky Strike tobacco you camp beat
for smoking quality. I've smoked Lucky seventeen years. So light
up for Lucky and puff by puff you'll see ls MFT,
ls MFT.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so
fully picked, so free and.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
Easy on the draw. So smoke the smoke tobacco expert,
smoke Lucky Strike.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
First again with tobacco men, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I want to take this opportunity to thank Robert Taylor
for taking my place on the program last week. He
certainly did a great job. And Mary answered the phone.
Speaker 8 (29:40):
Will you okay?
Speaker 10 (29:42):
Hello, Yes, he's here.
Speaker 12 (29:45):
It's for you, Jack, it's your sponsor.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Oh hello, LS, how's MFT?
Speaker 9 (29:52):
Why?
Speaker 6 (29:53):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I was only trying to be cue Robert Taylor. No, No,
he was on last week, but he was only supposed to.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
Be on for one week. But I don't need another vacation.
Speaker 7 (30:07):
Look, I don't want to go to New York.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
I've been there where I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Go there either.
Speaker 6 (30:14):
This is NBC, the National broadcasting company,
The Jack Benny program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Hammerton Lucky Strike first.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Again with tobacco men first, again, with tobacco.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Men, more independent tobacco experts smoke Lucky Strike regularly than
the next two leading brands combined.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
There you have the findings of a recent impartial survey
which reveals the personal smoking preference of tobacco men, auctioneers, buyers,
and warehousemen. Yes, the survey shows Lucky Strike first again
with tobacco men.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
First, again, with tobacco men first again, with the men
who can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select
and buy that fine, that light that naturally mile tobacco.
So light up a Lucky buff by puff you'll see
ls m F T ls m F T Lucky Strike
means fine tobacco and then a cigarette. It's the tobacco
that counts, though. For your own reels, z down, smoke enjoyment, smokeless, moke,
(01:01):
tobacco expert smoke Lucky Strike.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
First again with.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Tobacco man, the Lucky Strike program storrying Jack Benny with Mary,
let me sing, Phil Harris, Rochester, Mneste and here's truly
done with ladies and gentlemen, last week, the thought of
(01:39):
our show felt that he needed a vacation, so he
took a week off and went to New York. But tonight,
I'm happy to announce that the prodigal son has returned.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
And here he is, Jack.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Benny, Hi, Hi today, Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking.
And Don, I think that was a very fitting introduction,
because I do feel like a prodigal son.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Well, thank you, Jack, and welcome home.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And it's very appropriate to the prodigal son being welcomed
by the fatted cast.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
But Don, it's good to be back.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
Does you have a good time in New York?
Speaker 6 (02:20):
Jack wonderful?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I saw more of everybody I knew, Irving Berlin, b
lily Ed Sullivan, Fred Allen, Jack Eigens.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Also you saw Fred Allen?
Speaker 6 (02:28):
Huh yeah, well uh, how'd you find Fred?
Speaker 7 (02:31):
I just pushed.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
Aside those bags and there he was.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Honestly, Don, he has the biggest bags over his eyes,
over his eyes. He's wearing them in an up sweet
this year he got tired of stepping on us. You know,
I saw Fred at his broadcast. It's really amazing how
lucky he's been.
Speaker 6 (02:54):
What do you mean lucky?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
The way he ran a case of sinus into a
million dollars.
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Honestly's on the way Fred talks.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
He saw, Well, Hello.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
Mary, Hello Jack, welcome home.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Well that's a fine welcome home. Haven't you got a
great big kids?
Speaker 8 (03:12):
I had one, but last week I gave it to
Robert Taylor?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
All right, So couldn't you save a little kiss for me?
Speaker 9 (03:19):
Jack?
Speaker 8 (03:20):
When Taylor takes over a show, he takes it all.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
Well, I will say one thing. He did a wonderful job,
and so did you. Mary, you were great. Last week I.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Was in New York and I heard it the kids,
no the shows. Anyway, I had a wonderful vacation in
New York. You know, this year they're having one of
the most successful theatrical seasons they've ever had. They charge
a lot of money, you know, for their tickets, but
it's worth it. What show the street car name Desire
High Button Shoes inside USA? And mister Robert, Oh gosh.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Jack, I certainly am for you.
Speaker 7 (03:54):
How did you like a.
Speaker 6 (03:55):
Street car name Desire?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Well, I didn't get to see that show. I'm sorry
I missed it.
Speaker 8 (04:02):
Oh that's bad. But Jack, I'll bet you enjoy high
button shoes.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
I heard it was a great musical.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, well I didn't see that one either. You see,
before I knew it, it was Thursday night, and that
was the night I was going to see mister Robert.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
Well Jack, when I get to New York, that's the
show I'm most anxious to see, mister Roberts.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yes, yes, how'd you enjoy that?
Speaker 6 (04:30):
Well, that's the one I'm really sorry I missed.
Speaker 9 (04:34):
See.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I got as far as the lobby, and the girl
in the box office made me so mad I wouldn't
go in.
Speaker 7 (04:38):
What'd you say to you?
Speaker 10 (04:39):
Six sixty?
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Please?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Please, Pixy, please, I'm smart, Alex, since you took over
the show last week.
Speaker 11 (04:52):
Anyway, money had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Henry Fonda, the star of Mister Roberts, gave me two passes.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
I wish I hadn't sold them. Now, what about you,
mar or anything happened with you.
Speaker 12 (05:06):
While I was away?
Speaker 13 (05:06):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (05:07):
Nothing much except that I received another letter from my mother.
Speaker 6 (05:10):
Your mother?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Well, what is the Republican dark Horse of Plainfield?
Speaker 9 (05:14):
Half the thing?
Speaker 10 (05:15):
I've got it right here.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Do you want me to read it to you?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, but you're going to do it anyway, So go ahead,
all right, My darling daughter. Allan would say, if you
didn't read it, the program will be short. You know,
says it every week, the same thing every week.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Go ahead. I'm sorry, my darling daughter, Mary.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I received your letter and I want to thank you
for sending me twenty five dollars for Mother's Day. You're
so generous. What other girl was ten her mother a
whole week's salary?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
You are generous.
Speaker 10 (05:47):
Mary.
Speaker 8 (05:48):
I bought myself addressed with some of the money, and
with the rest of it, I bought Tamsa a beautiful
monogram wall at that keeps his unapployment checks in and
that reminds me your babe is no longer on vacation.
Speaker 6 (06:02):
A couple of weeks ago, she.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Got a telegram from John L. Lewis telling her go
back to work.
Speaker 11 (06:11):
Good old babe, I'll never forget her in the Eastern
Parade rolling down the Avenue with that lamp on her hat,
and exactly, I'm sorry, Mary.
Speaker 8 (06:19):
Continue I heard you on the program last week. The
broadcast you did was Robert Taylor, and I must say
it was a wonderful show without Jack. It was the
first time in five years that my air Wix took
her Sunday off, no other news, so we're closed now.
(06:40):
Your loving mother, nature girl living Ston.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
You're all married. Your mother writes some of the films.
John Mary Wow, Hello, Dennis.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
See mister Taylor.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
I don't know what happened to you since last Sunday.
Speaker 6 (06:56):
But you look awf on now.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
JNNA.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
For heaven's sake, I'm not Robert Taylor. Look over, I'm
Jack Benny.
Speaker 14 (07:05):
Oh, I don't blame you for being mad?
Speaker 8 (07:10):
Well, Dennis, aren't you happy that mister Benny's back?
Speaker 14 (07:13):
I certainly am. You know, mister Benny, while you were gone,
I sure missed you.
Speaker 6 (07:16):
Well. Thanks kid.
Speaker 14 (07:18):
You know you wouldn't believe it, but I was like
a lost soul. I felt awful.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
I couldn't even eat.
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Well, that's a shame.
Speaker 10 (07:24):
Yeah, next time you go away, you ought to pay
some advance.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Dennis, You've got a lot of nerves for jesting anything
like that. After all, Mary was on last week's program too.
She didn't mention anything about being paid.
Speaker 14 (07:39):
Well, she doesn't care about money. She got kissed by
Robert Taylor.
Speaker 9 (07:43):
What.
Speaker 10 (07:44):
He wouldn't even put his arm around me.
Speaker 14 (07:51):
I mean I looked like much, but he ought to
take my potato pancakes, Jannis Pop being.
Speaker 6 (07:58):
So silly, and get ready for your songs?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, marry before I forget, will you wait and drive
me home after the broadcast?
Speaker 10 (08:05):
Wait your car?
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Well, I'm thinking of getting a new one, so I
sent Rochester out to see he can get a good
trade in you see.
Speaker 6 (08:10):
I hope that he's.
Speaker 12 (08:12):
Hello kids, Well look who's back?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Little boy blue eyes him a Jackson, Hello, fell House
Mcino's answer to it pays to be ignorant.
Speaker 6 (08:31):
That's what he didn't know was in there.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
He had another one written.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
It wasn't nearly as funny.
Speaker 11 (08:38):
H Oh, I'm fine, dad, Right, you're back Dad. What
you think of the program we did last week without you?
I thought was an excellent show. I thought Robert Taylor
did a wonderful job.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Who did a wonderful job?
Speaker 6 (08:56):
Robert Taylor?
Speaker 11 (08:57):
You don't buy any chance to mean?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Spangler Arling and Brew?
Speaker 12 (09:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
What about it? Fangarleason brew O Spangy?
Speaker 13 (09:09):
What a name?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Brew?
Speaker 11 (09:10):
Before I met him, I didn't know whether I was
supposed to Shakey's hand or.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Blow the foam up? Well, anyway, what do you have
to get him for?
Speaker 13 (09:19):
When you got me me?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
The one and only inimitable harass.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, you're not inimitable. It's just that nobody wants to
be like you. And I'm surprised you pronounced it right now?
Speaker 13 (09:32):
Look at ye?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Wait a minute, what.
Speaker 7 (09:35):
I don't care what you say.
Speaker 11 (09:36):
I'd much rather be like me than Spangler Arlington Broom
for having's sake?
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Here, what do you got against.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Robert ham burns me up?
Speaker 7 (09:42):
He's married to a beautiful actress.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
He's a good looking guy.
Speaker 11 (09:44):
He's got nice wavy hair and a great personality.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So what you're married to a beautiful actress. You're a
good looking guy, and you've got nice wavy hair, and
you've got a great personality too.
Speaker 10 (09:56):
I know, well, what about it?
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Nothing?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I just wanted to hear you say.
Speaker 7 (10:19):
All right till I said, and I'll tell us. Let's teazelle.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
Are you taking bowsers?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Your head so big a teeth bending you over?
Speaker 9 (10:28):
Now?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Come on, Dan's let's.
Speaker 6 (10:30):
Have your thought.
Speaker 10 (10:30):
What do you want me to sing?
Speaker 6 (10:32):
I don't know what do you got prepared to pay?
Speaker 13 (10:33):
The pancakes?
Speaker 12 (10:35):
All right?
Speaker 13 (10:35):
Sitting back?
Speaker 6 (10:36):
Can't get anything.
Speaker 12 (11:03):
There?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Gold to you?
Speaker 12 (11:06):
Real in my hall? Oh so you.
Speaker 13 (11:15):
My froma.
Speaker 12 (11:22):
Fabl Oh it all.
Speaker 13 (11:37):
Let me be dream dream dot did you form.
Speaker 12 (11:55):
Met and hreay.
Speaker 13 (12:01):
My hound hallst my hoted.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Screamp sleep and.
Speaker 13 (12:28):
Lonely song, scream Loka its you my belong.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
And brea.
Speaker 13 (12:44):
My hold it all, my ho.
Speaker 8 (12:56):
Ho.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
That was hard and hard, sung by Dennis Dave, very
good Dennis. And now ladies and gentlemen, and answer the
thousands of requests. Is our feature traction tonight? Where are
going to repeat our version of that great universal international production.
Speaker 12 (13:25):
The Egg and I?
Speaker 11 (13:27):
Yes?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
How come we aren't doing a new play tonight.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Because in order to do a new play it has
to be written. And my writers lost their typewriter at
the opening of Hollywood Park.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Now on this sketch, I.
Speaker 10 (13:39):
Will all right.
Speaker 8 (13:40):
So they lost their typewriters, the races couldn't they dictate
the scripts of their secretaries.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
They lost her too. It looked so forlorn as they
pushed her through the five dollars windows. Now this catch,
I will play the part.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Of oh darn it, Hello al much Rochester?
Speaker 11 (14:00):
All right? Have you done anything about trading my car in?
Speaker 12 (14:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (14:03):
I was busy all morning.
Speaker 15 (14:04):
First time took us a mad man month he looked
the car over there carefully, but he didn't offer money.
Speaker 7 (14:10):
Well, how much did he praise it?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
For?
Speaker 9 (14:11):
Fourth?
Speaker 15 (14:12):
When the car gets that hold it on the praise,
let's say, way, so then I go over Donna John's play.
Speaker 5 (14:25):
He looked at the car and offered us.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Ten dollars and seventy five cent Well, of all the nerves,
the life who played the old is worth that much.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
That's the only party wanted.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
Oh trifle of this courage, But I'm doing it.
Speaker 15 (14:39):
I drove and the Smiling Eyes was locked and bad.
Well we had a little couple up.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Why what happened?
Speaker 15 (14:45):
As the Smiling eyes when planning to do our car
to inspect it, he slammed the door and the fender.
Speaker 6 (14:50):
Fent on whitch fender dese fenders. Ye oh my goodness.
Then what did you do?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I decided to go home?
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Uh huh, And while I was driving.
Speaker 10 (15:04):
Down Wilson Boulevard, something went wrong with the steering wheel.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
In the car ran right into the lebret tarpis.
Speaker 6 (15:11):
Oh, that's terrible, worse than.
Speaker 7 (15:12):
Your things to pit through it back out again?
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Gee, Roches's right expecting you to sell the car today?
Speaker 1 (15:23):
You can try it again tomorrow. Yes, good night, goodbye,
come on, kids, let's get on.
Speaker 11 (15:33):
Let's get on with our.
Speaker 6 (15:34):
Play, and our ladies and gentlemen, we will proceed with
our version of the Egg and Eyes.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
In this sketch, I will be Patrick Murray and Mary
Livingston will be Claude ed Kolbek.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
What part am I going to play?
Speaker 7 (15:44):
Jack?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Well?
Speaker 6 (15:44):
Down the scene takes place on a farm, so you
can play the part of our pig.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Oh Jack, Every time you do a farm sketch, I
play the part of a pick.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
I want to do something else. Well, what would you
like to be? Don? A canary? Don you a canary?
Speaker 7 (16:02):
Peepeppe pete.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
That's not so bad, all right, Don you can be
the canary. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the egg and Eye.
As the scene opens, we find the newlywed Claudette and
Fred driving out to their new home. Gee, Claudette, I
(16:32):
hope you like the new farmhouse I bought.
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Oh, I will mister McMurray. You can call me Mac,
you know, honey, I can't believe we're really married at last.
Speaker 8 (16:42):
Yeah, it was such a wonderful wedding ceremony. But you
were so nervous.
Speaker 6 (16:47):
I was not nervous.
Speaker 8 (16:48):
You were too You put the ring on your own finger,
kissed the best man, and gave the creature a potato pancake.
Speaker 11 (16:55):
A friend of mine makes them. But Darling wasn't as
exciting as we drove away from the church with those
old shoes tied in the back of the car.
Speaker 7 (17:05):
Yeah, I wonder what made.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
Them bounce like that.
Speaker 8 (17:08):
My mother was still in them.
Speaker 6 (17:11):
Oh yes, I cut her loose. So we went through Anaheim.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
They can always use another Smudgepop there, old Look, there's
our farmhouse.
Speaker 6 (17:24):
Here we are lood, Darling. There's our new home.
Speaker 8 (17:29):
See it sure looks run down.
Speaker 11 (17:31):
Yeah, but we'll fix it up. There's a real estate man. Oh, mister, mister,
how do you do?
Speaker 9 (17:40):
How do you do?
Speaker 6 (17:40):
I just bought this house. You're the man from the
real estate office, aren't.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You, Yes, Milson's name.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
I'm here to show you around.
Speaker 8 (17:47):
See what a secutiest style of architecture this house has.
It's not French Normandy. Is it Early Americans?
Speaker 9 (17:53):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Crummy Colonial.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
Let's go inside.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Come on, honey, all right, I'm talking to my wife.
Oh just follow me, folks, I'll show you through the house.
This is the living room, this is the dining room,
(18:21):
and this is the bedroom. Hey, mister Nelson, does the.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
Bathroom have a tile floor?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Shall we go out and see?
Speaker 8 (18:39):
Oh, mister Nelson, I'd like to see the kitchen right
through this door.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
There isn't it a beauty?
Speaker 9 (18:48):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (18:50):
This dove looks very old and awfully dirty.
Speaker 16 (18:53):
Oh, I guess the little dust. I'll blow it off, Misteread.
Have you tried sen send.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
What?
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Well?
Speaker 10 (19:20):
It's getting kind of late.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
I better go goodbyeus and Nelson good Barson.
Speaker 6 (19:26):
Mister Nelson stopped catching her.
Speaker 5 (19:28):
Well, if Robert Taylor doesn't care, why should you.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
Well, Darling, here we are in our own little home.
We better start getting to sleep too.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
On a farm.
Speaker 6 (19:40):
You know you have to get up at four in
the morning.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
You're right, seetheart. But it's so nice to be alone,
just the two of us.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Yeah, well, darling, good night, good night.
Speaker 9 (19:49):
Get out of.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Oh, darling, Darling, you're snoring.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
No, no, that's the rooster.
Speaker 9 (20:21):
It's morning.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Oh oh, will you.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Hurry and get breakfast ready? I'll go out and milk
the cows. Good thing, I slept in my clothes all right,
HiT's dark this early in the morning. Now, where's that
milking pail?
Speaker 17 (20:43):
Now Here?
Speaker 6 (20:43):
It is easy, bossy easy. That's a good girl. Bossy easy,
bossy easy.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
See I.
Speaker 6 (20:57):
Can't seem to find oh oh wrong and oh easy
bossy easy? The whole still mail while I picked the
pail on shore.
Speaker 5 (21:37):
We're really going to be cut off the air tonight.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
There, bossy there, that's a good girl.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
Oh still, while I fixed the pail of sure there.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Oh la la la la, oh la la la la,
oh la la.
Speaker 11 (22:03):
La la, oh la la la la, better change, Oh Fred,
are you milky?
Speaker 6 (22:15):
I'm not, but I think the cow is.
Speaker 9 (22:18):
He?
Speaker 6 (22:18):
Where are you holding?
Speaker 13 (22:19):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Look, I just on it.
Speaker 8 (22:21):
It's a black kitten with a white stripe down its back.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Well shots, If that isn't the cutest look kitty? Have
you tried sencing?
Speaker 13 (22:30):
I call that?
Speaker 7 (22:31):
Don't stand it a wrong?
Speaker 6 (22:32):
We gotta feed the animal, okay, look said.
Speaker 8 (22:37):
Isn't excuse the way our canary follows us around?
Speaker 6 (22:39):
My shoe, canary shoe.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
We got to feed the chicken. There, chick, chick, chick, chick,
kick your chick, chick chick.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Come on, chick chick, here's.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Some corn for you.
Speaker 8 (22:46):
Oh Fred, look at the hen sitting on the neck.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, oh yeah, see Now we gotta get breakfast. Well,
(23:15):
I better get some oats for the horse, Hey, for
the cow. And look.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
What happened.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
Our canary steps on the pig and killed it.
Speaker 6 (23:29):
See that's too bad.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
A canary.
Speaker 11 (23:33):
I should have gotten suspicions when he bent.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Some bars in his cave. Let's get all up.
Speaker 11 (23:38):
Here comes someone, Hello, loudy neighbors, childies, he cares?
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Is my name? Live right over the hill.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
Well do you have a farm over there?
Speaker 12 (23:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Farm raised little of this, little of that, mostly carn.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
So you're a pig?
Speaker 2 (23:53):
No from a spell?
Speaker 13 (23:55):
Or you have a steal.
Speaker 11 (23:56):
Yeah, she'll make twenty gallon a day, twenty gallas here.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That ain't bad, old lady, don't dream.
Speaker 10 (24:08):
We just loved in here.
Speaker 8 (24:09):
Seeke, how long you been living around this second?
Speaker 11 (24:12):
Well? Little let me see now, I moved here in
nineteen eighteen. That's nineteen forty.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
That's that's sixteen years.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Wait a minute, a date from nineteen eighteen, and I
was thirty years you've lived here. We don't count the
fourteen years of prohibition is living?
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Got the children?
Speaker 7 (24:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 11 (24:28):
I forgot two sons, but we ain't sent them since
they ran away with a circus ten years ago.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Show miss the boy.
Speaker 8 (24:39):
Well, it's the shame both of them. Least maybe one
of them will come back.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
The ain't likely. They're Siamese twins. Siamese twins.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Yeah, they're pretty attacked to each other.
Speaker 10 (24:51):
Oh you're the Barnyard's.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Answer to Phil Harris, by the way, is he?
Speaker 11 (24:56):
Because that field over there part of your father? Yeah,
that's the place where I raised mus have lack a
son knows. My hired hands out there picking it now
where right over there?
Speaker 5 (25:06):
M thinking what a cat would be if we had
no body.
Speaker 12 (25:15):
Grable or no wellness?
Speaker 11 (25:20):
En you been. We've been working raising Abaco Street, make
the back of Lucky Snake.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
For many and rage. Once they went down to the
city just to see a bur leaque.
Speaker 7 (25:34):
They came back and brought.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
A sample around and burn with eyes of blood.
Speaker 12 (25:40):
Been moving weird, joking mate, difference where we.
Speaker 6 (25:44):
Won't we even always one smoking lock?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
You give the counting home?
Speaker 10 (25:53):
He's your farm mans the.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Gray book, Yes, sir, say they sing all the time.
Speaker 10 (26:01):
Hi, the neighbors parties.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Good to see you all.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
Well, hello are you maul Kettle?
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Is the name live right down the road?
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Which house?
Speaker 8 (26:10):
No house just down the road.
Speaker 11 (26:13):
No howe Yes, she's married to Paul Kettle, the laziest
man in the state.
Speaker 10 (26:17):
He's the laziest man in the world.
Speaker 12 (26:20):
He won't even pick his teeth.
Speaker 7 (26:22):
I had to go down the store and pick him
for it, kissing.
Speaker 12 (26:27):
Well, what do you know?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Here comes Paul Kettle, the lazy critter.
Speaker 10 (26:30):
Now name is Zennis, But folks, Paul and Paul hier Paul?
Hi is he KaiA? Folks, ma put your arms around
me and squeeze me. I feel like I say.
Speaker 11 (26:46):
They talk a little faster, we won't get off the shone.
Speaker 10 (26:52):
Well, that feels better. Any place to lie down around here? Oh, Paul,
stand up profile. Oh by the way, what are you
folks bringing on?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Raising here?
Speaker 6 (27:00):
Chicken?
Speaker 18 (27:00):
I wouldn't try it if I were you. Try to
raise on myself a few years ago, never had me.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Look what happened.
Speaker 10 (27:06):
I bought ten hens. They laid up a lot of eggs,
but none of them ever did hats.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
How many roosters did you have?
Speaker 9 (27:11):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (27:12):
Root?
Speaker 10 (27:16):
Well, I guess I better be going wrong. Now we've
gotta go home and help my pig write a letter.
Your pig writes letter, I just tell him how to spell.
He already has the pen and inink.
Speaker 18 (27:27):
Oh fuck jettle, you're sharper than a potato pancake.
Speaker 8 (27:32):
Well, let's folks, my husband and I are just going
in to have breakfast.
Speaker 10 (27:35):
I just come in and join us.
Speaker 4 (27:36):
It's okay with me, me too, pick me up, mare, Well,
come on, let's all go in.
Speaker 7 (27:41):
Hey, wait a minute, what happened to Zeke?
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Where's Zeke?
Speaker 18 (27:42):
Harra Oh he had to run along. He's got his
own show. What I can stay it on Wednesday?
Speaker 11 (27:53):
Oh, breakfast is on me on you?
Speaker 8 (27:56):
Yes, we haven't got a table. Oh god, you've only
been on the farm one day, but you've got corn
all over.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
You said it and we just made it. Come on,
hear the professor.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Hat American Lucky Strike first again with Tobacco Man.
Speaker 7 (28:25):
First again with Tobacco Man.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
As a recent impartial survey reveals, more independent tobacco experts
spoke Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined,
more than the next two leading brands combined.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Lucky Strike first again with Tobacco Man. That's what the
survey shows. Now listen to what mister Garland Fletcher Tilly,
twenty five years at Tobacco Buyer recently said.
Speaker 17 (28:53):
At auction after auction, I've seen fine, ripe, mild tobacco bought,
but the makers of Lucky Strike tobacco you camp beat
for smoking quality. I've smoked Lucky seventeen years. So light
up for Lucky and puff by puff you'll see ls MFT,
ls MFT.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so
fully picked, so free and.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
Easy on the draw. So smoke the smoke tobacco expert,
smoke Lucky Strike.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
First again with tobacco men, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
I want to take this opportunity to thank Robert Taylor
for taking my place on the program last week. He
certainly did a great job. And Mary answered the phone.
Speaker 8 (29:40):
Will you okay?
Speaker 10 (29:42):
Hello, Yes, he's here.
Speaker 12 (29:45):
It's for you, Jack, it's your sponsor.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Oh hello, LS, how's MFT?
Speaker 9 (29:52):
Why?
Speaker 6 (29:53):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
I was only trying to be cue Robert Taylor. No, No,
he was on last week, but he was only supposed to.
Speaker 6 (30:00):
Be on for one week. But I don't need another vacation.
Speaker 7 (30:07):
Look, I don't want to go to New York.
Speaker 6 (30:08):
I've been there where I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Go there either.
Speaker 6 (30:14):
This is NBC, the National broadcasting company,
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