July 29, 2025 • 20 mins
A man reached out to us, sharing how he discovered that his fiancée had been hiding a secret from him regarding something she did in the past. Now, he is contemplating whether to move on or to end their relationship.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Jerry, Katy and Josh six one hundred.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We got a message from Tom Katie torn tom Thorn.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
He signed it and even in the subject, he's like,
should I still marry her? So Hey, guys, I know
it's juicy, Josh, I really need some outside perspective on this.
My fiance and I have been together for almost four years.
We've been planning our wedding for over a year and
a half, and the big day is this November. I
thought I knew everything about her. I thought we were
(00:29):
totally honest with each other. Oh by, But but this
weekend I found out something she's never told me, and
now I'm questioning everything.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oh my god, this is like a soapapa. What happened?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So a friend from her past mentioned something casually that
didn't sit right, so I asked her about it. After
some prime, she admitted that years ago, before we met,
she was fired from a job at a clothing store.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
First Steally.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
No, yeah, it doesn't say what store.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Actually, I would steal stuff, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It had to be a big bright no, like even market, yeah, Kroger.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Okay, she was caught stealing?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, Like, apparently she took home some stuff without pain
and when the cops got involved, they found a couple
of ecstasy pills.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
In her purse. Whoa okay, yeah, yeah gets even juicy
and the ecstasy.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So she was arrested and charged with both theft and
drug possession.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
She said she did some kind of like diversion programs,
so nothing went on her permanent record or anything, and
she hasn't done anything remotely close to that since. So
it was all a race, right, So it's like it
never happened. But and to her, she says it was
just a young, stupid mistake that she didn't think she
needed to tell him about.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
So he says that they've talked about everything then. They've
talked about like kids and finances and past relationships, even
therapy and trauma, but this she kept completely hidden. And
now Tom's sitting here thinking what else doesn't he know?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So he closes it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
He's like, I love her, I really do, but I
don't know if I want to marry someone who's kept
this kind of secret. Am I overreacting? Should I let
this go since it was so long ago? Like or
is this a sign that I don't really know the
person I'm about?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
To marry.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The show wants to know dot dot right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Question, we want to know?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We do want to know this one.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
That's pretty good, A lot of layers to it, So
listen if you want to sound off about Tom's situation.
Dude's looking to get married. It's sneaking up here pretty quick.
But he just found out that his future bride. Yeah,
the fiance has a past where she was caught shoplifting
and she actually had some drugs in her purse when
the police went to search her.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
So is this a red fla?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I mean, she says she hasn't done this since, but
how do we know she might have sticky fingers?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Should this dude be concerned? Three oh three six nine
one one mix three oh three six.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Nine one sixteen forty nine.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
I'll get you in the studios if you want to
sound off, make your voice heard for show wants to know.
Now did he say how long ago this was?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
He just says that it was years ago.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That years ago, That is.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
The timetable he uses here. Years ago before they met,
so that's the time.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I know how how old they are. I wonder if
this was like a twenty something thing.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Sad when she was young, like young and stupid, So
I would I would categorize that as twenty something, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Nineteen twenty.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Tell me, Katie, you're getting you say you were getting married,
you're not getting married, and you found this out. I
just get to say, you found out something big like this,
like you know a month or two before you were
getting married, that you didn't know about this person's past,
that they were actually a criminal.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Honestly, it would get me in my head a little
bit in the sense that I would start to question
a few things, like I would probably be a little
bit more aware of what they're doing in clothing stores
and grocery stores. Well, right, Like wouldn't you have a
little bit more of aware sense if you're around them?
Like I wouldn't want to be with somebody if they
were stealing, and I would, I guess, look at somebody
(04:27):
a little differently, like are you gonna steal that?
Speaker 7 (04:29):
Are?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I have a friend who is a very accomplished person.
She is an older woman who just she is. You
would never guess this about her, but she loves stealing things.
And it's I've told her a million times, like you're
gonna get thrown in jail but it's like the thrill
of it, so you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
people who just do this, and I feel like it's
(04:50):
kind of a therapy thing that you have.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
If that's get a thrill out of you, and that's
the thing, what else is she gonna say? If she
has been holding onto this and not saying any I
am truly wondering if this is something that she does
on the slide. On the slide, she hasn't mentioned it,
so he's not on the lookout for it, you know,
because if she were to say, like, hey, I've got
this problem, it could be like any it's like a
(05:12):
drinking problem, it could be anything.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, people poor on problem, what problems they have? Problem?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
They typically like to hide it, right, They don't put
it all out front and center.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They'll hide it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
So for this friend that should randomly drop that, oh
yeah she's got a past, Yeah, I think that's a
bit of a red flag. We've got some people calling
in if you'd like to sound off for show Wants
to Know three ZHO three six nine one sixteen forty nine.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'll get you here in the studios. Here's Chad. What's up, Chad?
Speaker 8 (05:38):
Good morning, JKJ how are you, well.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
We're superduced, buddy. So is this a big, big red
flag for this groom?
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Personally? I think he should just let it go and
move on. I feel like it's been at least four years.
We don't know exactly how many, but if it would
happen before, their relationship has been at least four years.
She's not given them any indication that it's something that
is recreational. Perhaps it's something that she did had a
lapse of judgment in her past. I feel like everybody
(06:08):
has things in their past that they're not proud of.
And if he's going to be serious about marrying this person,
I think he should focus more on what's going on
now as opposed to a bad decision she might have
made when she was younger.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
And what are your thoughts on her being caught with
drugs as well? It's like they've gone through this entire
relationship and she says, you know that they've talked about
this kind of stuff and she's denied ever using drugs,
and da da da da da, And they found ecstasy,
which I feel like is bigger than finding.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The potweed on her. How would you feel about that?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
All of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh, I
didn't know you did a bunch of drugs in the past.
Speaker 8 (06:43):
I would agree that that's definitely not something that's good,
and I think the smart thing to do would be
to talk to her about it, which it sounds like
he may have already done to you know, find out
is this something that you're doing now or have done
multiple times versus a one time thing, and kind of
going from there. If through this he finds out that
(07:05):
this was not a one time thing, then maybe you're
looking at potentially looking at reassessing some things. But it
sounds like it was more something in the past. I
don't personally do that myself, but I also you know people,
and if you make a bad decision in your past,
I don't think it should always impact every decision you
make in your future.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Well, and Chad, wouldn't you say, like the drug thing,
if somebody was having an issue with that, that would
be a little bit more apparent than say, someone who
was a kleptomaniac, Like there would be signs to the
other one in the five years a've been together, right,
I would agree with that.
Speaker 8 (07:43):
I feel like sometimes people can try to hide it well.
But I feel like there's always some kind of sign.
So maybe, I mean, if it is a problem, maybe
he'll start to see some of those signs now that
he knows it's something that happened in the past. But truthfully,
I would agree, I assuming this is a one off
situation and they're talking about it, I think you should
(08:03):
let it go.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
He's always like missing stuff. He's like, where's my pant?
I sure I had like a twenty over here on the.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Where is it? I can't find my shoes? Where's those
couplings that I had? Where? Chad? Have you never stolen
anything in your life?
Speaker 8 (08:19):
I pleaded the fifth.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Ah, but it was in the past. Who cares? Who cares? Chad?
This was a very thoughtful call. We appreciate you, buddy.
You have a great Tuesday.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Hey you guys too, Thank you for your time.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
If you want to sound off for show wants to know,
phone lines are open three O three six nine one
one mix three oh three six nine one sixteen forty
nine quick recap. Tom wrote in he's a groom or
you soon to be groom and his fiance used to
steal things in the past and she was caught with
some drugs and he didn't know about this at all,
(08:54):
and now he's a little freaked out about it. He's like,
is this a red flag? Should I be concerned? Should
we talk about this?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
What's going on? Here's Rachel? Hi, Rachel, welcome to the show.
Speaker 8 (09:03):
Hi.
Speaker 9 (09:03):
How's it going?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Well?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
We're super dupes. First things. First, have you ever stolen anything? Oh?
Speaker 9 (09:09):
I mean, nothing comes to mind. I don't know if
I stole like a packet gun when I was a
kid or something, but don't think so.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
The only thing I've stolen is a few hearts.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Oh gosh, that.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
Are you coming?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
What are you laughing about? Why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This is funny?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Rachel? What are your thoughts about Tom's dilemma?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Though?
Speaker 9 (09:30):
What I'm hearing is that it's not so much that
he's worried that she's going to be doing drugs again
or is doing druss, But there's there's a trust issue.
And if they talked about all these things, and they
talked about drug use and she didn't name it, that
was an intentional on her part, a liab omission. And
I think they should get in couples counseling to sort
it out and see if he's trust a professional.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Yeah, your phone's cutting out a little bit, Rachel. What
I gathered is is they need to go to couples
counseling and talk it out for you.
Speaker 9 (10:01):
Yeah, couple counseling to see if he can trust her.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
Maybe maybe she was just truly embarrassed by the whole
situation too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sure, you embarrassing to talk about that.
Speaker 9 (10:14):
Yeah, But they're getting married.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And my.
Speaker 9 (10:19):
Values discussion to be here.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Do you need to know everything about the person's past?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Though?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I guess that there's that question too. It's like, do
you need to know everything?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
He clearly needed to know this it upset him when
you're values.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Oh, Rachel, I'm so sorry your phone sucks so bad,
but we appreciate your call.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, all right, Jessica, welcome to the show.
Speaker 9 (10:42):
Hey, thanks guys.
Speaker 10 (10:44):
Okay, So, I like, if I was torn Tom, Well,
I would What I would try to do is get
to the bottom of her motivations for all of the
three things, which are in my opinion, the feeling, the drugs,
and the omission, and just like try to figure out
if there are any other patterns that show up in
(11:06):
her life from those motivations. So for example, the omission
to me is saying that she's ashamed, So what else,
like how else does shame like show up for her
in her life? And like the drugs, I mean, you know,
I think each of the three things would have potentially
different motivations. And I kind of see Rachel's point about
(11:31):
couple of therapy, and I think that that could help
get to the bottom of it. But I think more
importantly I would encourage if I was Tom, I would
encourage her to be in therapy for her own like
personal development.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah, this is.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
On all of the notes.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do you do this for?
Speaker 9 (11:53):
No sales?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Really deep like profound stuff you did.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Like even as much as the shame of bringing up
the you know, stealing and you know, even the drugs,
Like how each individual thing has a motivating factor behind it.
I didn't even think about it that way. So wait,
way to break it down there, This.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Just got really I'm gonna get on my stoop, get
on my scuba. Dear here, this.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Got deep, get my scooba, Steve on, Jess, have you
ever stolen anything?
Speaker 7 (12:27):
No? I I I'm one of those people who are
like I feel like everyone could just tell immediately if
I did something wrong, I like it would show on
my face, Like I would walk in and I'd be like,
oh man, you're going straight to jail.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Jessica just j walked.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Do not collect two dollars.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Jessica, very good call.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
You're a very wise woman. Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
I love your show.
Speaker 10 (12:54):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
We love our listeners. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Bye Jessica.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Good Bye to Tom, Bye bye bye.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Hi Justin, Hello, how are you well?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
We're super dupes, buddy. What's your advice for torn Tom?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Torn Tom? I would you know airb caution. I can
kind of and this is gonna sound stupid after professor
the last.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
You're fine, buddy, say what you want to say.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I can kind of, not that I'm a kleptomaniac or
but I've been in the airs of depression and addiction.
So so quick question. Did she steal the drugs and
use them or just had drugs?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
She just had them, honor, So I guess we would
have to assume that they were in her purse and
she's probably been partaking it with them in the past.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Or maybe she's just holding it for a friend.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
That's what you.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Get there, So it's part his name is Troy? Is
that his name Tom? Tom, Tom, Troy, Timothy whatever? Uh,
just air on the side of caution, I would, I
would think, but what kind of to build on what
(14:16):
the last lady said? Yeah, maybe there is a deeper
issue with that. And see what she was she like
stealing things and flipping.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
Them, right, So they basically say, was she in a
place at that point where she was down low down
on the dumps and this was just kind of her
escape and her way to express all that, right, because
you you would obviously have gone through it.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It sounds like.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, or was she? Oh yeah, kind of Well, you know,
I was sixteen years old. I worked ad Meyer grocery
store in the middle of America and Indiana, and I
made like five dollars an hour. Couldn't afford to buy
my mom a Mother's Day gift, so I stole some
flowers and gave him to her. That h that still
(15:07):
sticks with me, just to steal something.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Yeah, well, I see what you're saying that maybe she
was going through some tough times. Have you ever thought
about going back to that grocery store and just handing
him a twenty for the heck of it and just
walking out. Well, no, no, no, they don't need no
big deal of justin And you're very kind for calling, buddy.
(15:32):
We appreciate you and your your backstory. Thank you for
opening up. I need to get to a couple more
calls because we're running short on time. Here is Robert, Hi, Robert,
good morning, Good morning. Quickly, what are your thoughts about
torn Tom's situation?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Should he be worried?
Speaker 11 (15:46):
As a man who's going to get there is in
the planning process of getting married myself and if this
popped up upon me at first it would be kind
of a shock, but then over time with one of
those where it's like, well, you know, this isn't a past.
They haven't sown any signs recently or since we've been
together of you know, having repeat offenses or anything like
that that'd be seen. So it's one of those where, yeah,
I'd still air on the side of caution, but I
(16:08):
would be a little more trustworthy because they haven't Sony Shines,
But the fact that it took him this long and
they didn't tell me a little eerie. But at the
same time too, Jared, you hit the nail on the
head not everybody needs to know every single interine every
person's life. So yeah, I need to trust them just
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Hey, buddy, And I've changed my ways, Like I used
to need to know everything about everything. But if I
think if I were to do it again, God forbid,
if Nick Knack and I were to break up, I
would not be so worried about somebody's past.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah you know, it's called the.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Past, exactly that whole thing. I truly wouldn't be worried
about it. Robert, We appreciate you, man. Great call. All right, Kelly,
you get the final word.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
On this Good morning, Good morning JK. Kelly.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Kelly, all right, so you get final word on torn Tom.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Whatever you say is how it's going to go.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Went off deep in with the counseling and the omissions,
blah blah blah. Those crazy ladies went off the deep.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I was like, crazy lady, I'll tell you.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
What I think. She was embarrassed, she got caught, she
got busted, yep, and she was like, hey, one time,
and I'm not gonna lie. I was stealing g I
Joe's and I got caught. I got red handed, and
that stopped it for me. I was like, I can't and.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
This was just like this was just like last year,
wasn't it, Kelly?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Last year? And I gotta have those shows, you know what.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I'm Sergeant Slaughter all day.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
So I think Tom was riding up, say hey, it
was the one shot time. You know, you're way better.
You're not an ecstasy, you know why she was taking that.
But hey, I think she's good to go. I wouldn't
worry about it too much. I think was more embarrassed
about anything. She couldn't go.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Put a ring on it. Move on, right, Kelly. Not
a breaker, right.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah, I think it's a steel breaker. I think it's
all good.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It's all good. Do you still have all those gi Jos?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Actually, I sold a truckload of them and made a uploaded.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
On Joe's Kelly, Kelly, I'm going to tell you something
completely off topic here that's such a heartbreaker. I had
hundreds of those g I Joe's growing up, the little ones,
you know, not the big doll ones, but the little ones.
And you know how they're held together inside with the
little rubber bands.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
I left him up in my parents rafters in the garage.
That's where they were stored for quite a few years.
We got him down and all those rubber bands had
dried out. So I have a box now of about
fifty thousand G I. Joe parts because.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
They all fell apart, buddy, And yeah they're worth bank.
They're worth bank if they're all put together. Oh that.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I did contact you one time. I was gonna get
together with you and put those together because I have
a complete lift of all the parts and legs.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And well, we might need to do that one night, Kelly,
you and me a couple of beers and we'll play
G I.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Joe all right with your dolls? Not weird about that?
Hit me up.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Yeah, bring your rubber bands, Kelly. He's a funny dude. Kelly,
thank you so much. Have a great day.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Where we falling on this? You guys? Just I am.
I think I'm in honestly with Kelly. Unfortunately of you
just got to move on. She was young.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Is a dumb situation. We've all done things when we
were dumb. You're gonna get married to your beautiful bride
who you are happy with. Otherwise, well, if you're on
a thousand other levels, I'm.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Gonna say, if you're about to marry this person. You know,
you've known them for at least a few years at
this point. If they're not showing that side of like
either drug abuse or kleptomania, you know, fine.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, but I do.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Think that Jessica especially hit on some really good points where, uh,
the woman who was keeping this from her future husband,
there's a reason she did that, and if there's a line,
and if she gets to the bottom of it, that's
only gonna make their relationship better in the future. So
I thought her, you know, saying that couple's counseling but
also individual counseling could.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Help me talk it out a little bit.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
That can't hurt.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
You could postpone the wedding a couple months just to
deal with all this, if you haven't gotten too far
into the planning. But yeah, I think overall, Tom's probably
gonna be fine.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Not a deal breaker. I think we can all agree
on that. It's probably not a deal breaker. Let me
tell you, Tom, it's rough out there.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
You don't want to start over, Yeah, Tom, especially if
she's smoking hot.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It's her biggest red flag. Oh my god, wave it
with pride.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Marry your hot bride, dude, Relax, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
She's hot, she's not.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Depending on the hot stale. She's a nine odd. Don't
even worry about it, right, Katie,
Jerry, Katy and Josh six one hundred.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We got a message from Tom Katie torn tom Thorn.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
He signed it and even in the subject, he's like,
should I still marry her? So Hey, guys, I know
it's juicy, Josh, I really need some outside perspective on this.
My fiance and I have been together for almost four years.
We've been planning our wedding for over a year and
a half, and the big day is this November. I
thought I knew everything about her. I thought we were
(00:29):
totally honest with each other. Oh by, But but this
weekend I found out something she's never told me, and
now I'm questioning everything.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oh my god, this is like a soapapa. What happened?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
So a friend from her past mentioned something casually that
didn't sit right, so I asked her about it. After
some prime, she admitted that years ago, before we met,
she was fired from a job at a clothing store.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
First Steally.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
No, yeah, it doesn't say what store.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Actually, I would steal stuff, you know.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It had to be a big bright no, like even market, yeah, Kroger.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Okay, she was caught stealing?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, Like, apparently she took home some stuff without pain
and when the cops got involved, they found a couple
of ecstasy pills.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
In her purse. Whoa okay, yeah, yeah gets even juicy
and the ecstasy.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
So she was arrested and charged with both theft and
drug possession.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
She said she did some kind of like diversion programs,
so nothing went on her permanent record or anything, and
she hasn't done anything remotely close to that since. So
it was all a race, right, So it's like it
never happened. But and to her, she says it was
just a young, stupid mistake that she didn't think she
needed to tell him about.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
But here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
So he says that they've talked about everything then. They've
talked about like kids and finances and past relationships, even
therapy and trauma, but this she kept completely hidden. And
now Tom's sitting here thinking what else doesn't he know?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
So he closes it.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
He's like, I love her, I really do, but I
don't know if I want to marry someone who's kept
this kind of secret. Am I overreacting? Should I let
this go since it was so long ago? Like or
is this a sign that I don't really know the
person I'm about?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
To marry.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The show wants to know dot dot right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Question, we want to know?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We do want to know this one.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
That's pretty good, A lot of layers to it, So
listen if you want to sound off about Tom's situation.
Dude's looking to get married. It's sneaking up here pretty quick.
But he just found out that his future bride. Yeah,
the fiance has a past where she was caught shoplifting
and she actually had some drugs in her purse when
the police went to search her.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
So is this a red fla?
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I mean, she says she hasn't done this since, but
how do we know she might have sticky fingers?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (03:06):
Should this dude be concerned? Three oh three six nine
one one mix three oh three six.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Nine one sixteen forty nine.
Speaker 5 (03:13):
I'll get you in the studios if you want to
sound off, make your voice heard for show wants to know.
Now did he say how long ago this was?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
He just says that it was years ago.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That years ago, That is.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
The timetable he uses here. Years ago before they met,
so that's the time.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I know how how old they are. I wonder if
this was like a twenty something thing.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Sad when she was young, like young and stupid, So
I would I would categorize that as twenty something, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Nineteen twenty.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Tell me, Katie, you're getting you say you were getting married,
you're not getting married, and you found this out. I
just get to say, you found out something big like this,
like you know a month or two before you were
getting married, that you didn't know about this person's past,
that they were actually a criminal.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Honestly, it would get me in my head a little
bit in the sense that I would start to question
a few things, like I would probably be a little
bit more aware of what they're doing in clothing stores
and grocery stores. Well, right, Like wouldn't you have a
little bit more of aware sense if you're around them?
Like I wouldn't want to be with somebody if they
were stealing, and I would, I guess, look at somebody
(04:27):
a little differently, like are you gonna steal that?
Speaker 7 (04:29):
Are?
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I have a friend who is a very accomplished person.
She is an older woman who just she is. You
would never guess this about her, but she loves stealing things.
And it's I've told her a million times, like you're
gonna get thrown in jail but it's like the thrill
of it, so you know what I mean, Like, yeah,
people who just do this, and I feel like it's
(04:50):
kind of a therapy thing that you have.
Speaker 5 (04:52):
If that's get a thrill out of you, and that's
the thing, what else is she gonna say? If she
has been holding onto this and not saying any I
am truly wondering if this is something that she does
on the slide. On the slide, she hasn't mentioned it,
so he's not on the lookout for it, you know,
because if she were to say, like, hey, I've got
this problem, it could be like any it's like a
(05:12):
drinking problem, it could be anything.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, people poor on problem, what problems they have? Problem?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
They typically like to hide it, right, They don't put
it all out front and center.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
They'll hide it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
So for this friend that should randomly drop that, oh
yeah she's got a past, Yeah, I think that's a
bit of a red flag. We've got some people calling
in if you'd like to sound off for show Wants
to Know three ZHO three six nine one sixteen forty nine.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I'll get you here in the studios. Here's Chad. What's up, Chad?
Speaker 8 (05:38):
Good morning, JKJ how are you, well.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
We're superduced, buddy. So is this a big, big red
flag for this groom?
Speaker 8 (05:46):
Personally? I think he should just let it go and
move on. I feel like it's been at least four years.
We don't know exactly how many, but if it would
happen before, their relationship has been at least four years.
She's not given them any indication that it's something that
is recreational. Perhaps it's something that she did had a
lapse of judgment in her past. I feel like everybody
(06:08):
has things in their past that they're not proud of.
And if he's going to be serious about marrying this person,
I think he should focus more on what's going on
now as opposed to a bad decision she might have
made when she was younger.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
And what are your thoughts on her being caught with
drugs as well? It's like they've gone through this entire
relationship and she says, you know that they've talked about
this kind of stuff and she's denied ever using drugs,
and da da da da da, And they found ecstasy,
which I feel like is bigger than finding.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The potweed on her. How would you feel about that?
Speaker 5 (06:38):
All of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh, I
didn't know you did a bunch of drugs in the past.
Speaker 8 (06:43):
I would agree that that's definitely not something that's good,
and I think the smart thing to do would be
to talk to her about it, which it sounds like
he may have already done to you know, find out
is this something that you're doing now or have done
multiple times versus a one time thing, and kind of
going from there. If through this he finds out that
(07:05):
this was not a one time thing, then maybe you're
looking at potentially looking at reassessing some things. But it
sounds like it was more something in the past. I
don't personally do that myself, but I also you know people,
and if you make a bad decision in your past,
I don't think it should always impact every decision you
make in your future.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Well, and Chad, wouldn't you say, like the drug thing,
if somebody was having an issue with that, that would
be a little bit more apparent than say, someone who
was a kleptomaniac, Like there would be signs to the
other one in the five years a've been together, right,
I would agree with that.
Speaker 8 (07:43):
I feel like sometimes people can try to hide it well.
But I feel like there's always some kind of sign.
So maybe, I mean, if it is a problem, maybe
he'll start to see some of those signs now that
he knows it's something that happened in the past. But truthfully,
I would agree, I assuming this is a one off
situation and they're talking about it, I think you should
(08:03):
let it go.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
He's always like missing stuff. He's like, where's my pant?
I sure I had like a twenty over here on the.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Where is it? I can't find my shoes? Where's those
couplings that I had? Where? Chad? Have you never stolen
anything in your life?
Speaker 8 (08:19):
I pleaded the fifth.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Ah, but it was in the past. Who cares? Who cares? Chad?
This was a very thoughtful call. We appreciate you, buddy.
You have a great Tuesday.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
Hey you guys too, Thank you for your time.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
If you want to sound off for show wants to know,
phone lines are open three O three six nine one
one mix three oh three six nine one sixteen forty
nine quick recap. Tom wrote in he's a groom or
you soon to be groom and his fiance used to
steal things in the past and she was caught with
some drugs and he didn't know about this at all,
(08:54):
and now he's a little freaked out about it. He's like,
is this a red flag? Should I be concerned? Should
we talk about this?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
What's going on? Here's Rachel? Hi, Rachel, welcome to the show.
Speaker 8 (09:03):
Hi.
Speaker 9 (09:03):
How's it going?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Well?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
We're super dupes. First things. First, have you ever stolen anything? Oh?
Speaker 9 (09:09):
I mean, nothing comes to mind. I don't know if
I stole like a packet gun when I was a
kid or something, but don't think so.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
The only thing I've stolen is a few hearts.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Oh gosh, that.
Speaker 9 (09:22):
Are you coming?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
What are you laughing about? Why are you laughing?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
This is funny?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Rachel? What are your thoughts about Tom's dilemma?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Though?
Speaker 9 (09:30):
What I'm hearing is that it's not so much that
he's worried that she's going to be doing drugs again
or is doing druss, But there's there's a trust issue.
And if they talked about all these things, and they
talked about drug use and she didn't name it, that
was an intentional on her part, a liab omission. And
I think they should get in couples counseling to sort
it out and see if he's trust a professional.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
Yeah, your phone's cutting out a little bit, Rachel. What
I gathered is is they need to go to couples
counseling and talk it out for you.
Speaker 9 (10:01):
Yeah, couple counseling to see if he can trust her.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
Maybe maybe she was just truly embarrassed by the whole
situation too.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sure, you embarrassing to talk about that.
Speaker 9 (10:14):
Yeah, But they're getting married.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
And my.
Speaker 9 (10:19):
Values discussion to be here.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Do you need to know everything about the person's past?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Though?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I guess that there's that question too. It's like, do
you need to know everything?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
He clearly needed to know this it upset him when
you're values.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
Oh, Rachel, I'm so sorry your phone sucks so bad,
but we appreciate your call.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Yeah, all right, Jessica, welcome to the show.
Speaker 9 (10:42):
Hey, thanks guys.
Speaker 10 (10:44):
Okay, So, I like, if I was torn Tom, Well,
I would What I would try to do is get
to the bottom of her motivations for all of the
three things, which are in my opinion, the feeling, the drugs,
and the omission, and just like try to figure out
if there are any other patterns that show up in
(11:06):
her life from those motivations. So for example, the omission
to me is saying that she's ashamed, So what else,
like how else does shame like show up for her
in her life? And like the drugs, I mean, you know,
I think each of the three things would have potentially
different motivations. And I kind of see Rachel's point about
(11:31):
couple of therapy, and I think that that could help
get to the bottom of it. But I think more
importantly I would encourage if I was Tom, I would
encourage her to be in therapy for her own like
personal development.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yeah, this is.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
On all of the notes.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Do you do this for?
Speaker 9 (11:53):
No sales?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Really deep like profound stuff you did.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Like even as much as the shame of bringing up
the you know, stealing and you know, even the drugs,
Like how each individual thing has a motivating factor behind it.
I didn't even think about it that way. So wait,
way to break it down there, This.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Just got really I'm gonna get on my stoop, get
on my scuba. Dear here, this.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Got deep, get my scooba, Steve on, Jess, have you
ever stolen anything?
Speaker 7 (12:27):
No? I I I'm one of those people who are
like I feel like everyone could just tell immediately if
I did something wrong, I like it would show on
my face, Like I would walk in and I'd be like,
oh man, you're going straight to jail.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Jessica just j walked.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Do not collect two dollars.
Speaker 5 (12:46):
Jessica, very good call.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
You're a very wise woman. Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (12:53):
I love your show.
Speaker 10 (12:54):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
We love our listeners. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Bye Jessica.
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Good Bye to Tom, Bye bye bye.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
Hi Justin, Hello, how are you well?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
We're super dupes, buddy. What's your advice for torn Tom?
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Torn Tom? I would you know airb caution. I can
kind of and this is gonna sound stupid after professor
the last.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
You're fine, buddy, say what you want to say.
Speaker 4 (13:24):
I can kind of, not that I'm a kleptomaniac or
but I've been in the airs of depression and addiction.
So so quick question. Did she steal the drugs and
use them or just had drugs?
Speaker 5 (13:38):
She just had them, honor, So I guess we would
have to assume that they were in her purse and
she's probably been partaking it with them in the past.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Or maybe she's just holding it for a friend.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
That's what you.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Get there, So it's part his name is Troy? Is
that his name Tom? Tom, Tom, Troy, Timothy whatever? Uh,
just air on the side of caution, I would, I
would think, but what kind of to build on what
(14:16):
the last lady said? Yeah, maybe there is a deeper
issue with that. And see what she was she like
stealing things and flipping.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
Them, right, So they basically say, was she in a
place at that point where she was down low down
on the dumps and this was just kind of her
escape and her way to express all that, right, because
you you would obviously have gone through it.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
It sounds like.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Yeah, or was she? Oh yeah, kind of Well, you know,
I was sixteen years old. I worked ad Meyer grocery
store in the middle of America and Indiana, and I
made like five dollars an hour. Couldn't afford to buy
my mom a Mother's Day gift, so I stole some
flowers and gave him to her. That h that still
(15:07):
sticks with me, just to steal something.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
Yeah, well, I see what you're saying that maybe she
was going through some tough times. Have you ever thought
about going back to that grocery store and just handing
him a twenty for the heck of it and just
walking out. Well, no, no, no, they don't need no
big deal of justin And you're very kind for calling, buddy.
(15:32):
We appreciate you and your your backstory. Thank you for
opening up. I need to get to a couple more
calls because we're running short on time. Here is Robert, Hi, Robert,
good morning, Good morning. Quickly, what are your thoughts about
torn Tom's situation?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Should he be worried?
Speaker 11 (15:46):
As a man who's going to get there is in
the planning process of getting married myself and if this
popped up upon me at first it would be kind
of a shock, but then over time with one of
those where it's like, well, you know, this isn't a past.
They haven't sown any signs recently or since we've been
together of you know, having repeat offenses or anything like
that that'd be seen. So it's one of those where, yeah,
I'd still air on the side of caution, but I
(16:08):
would be a little more trustworthy because they haven't Sony Shines,
But the fact that it took him this long and
they didn't tell me a little eerie. But at the
same time too, Jared, you hit the nail on the
head not everybody needs to know every single interine every
person's life. So yeah, I need to trust them just
a little bit.
Speaker 5 (16:25):
Hey, buddy, And I've changed my ways, Like I used
to need to know everything about everything. But if I
think if I were to do it again, God forbid,
if Nick Knack and I were to break up, I
would not be so worried about somebody's past.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah you know, it's called the.
Speaker 5 (16:38):
Past, exactly that whole thing. I truly wouldn't be worried
about it. Robert, We appreciate you, man. Great call. All right, Kelly,
you get the final word.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
On this Good morning, Good morning JK. Kelly.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
Kelly, all right, so you get final word on torn Tom.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Whatever you say is how it's going to go.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Went off deep in with the counseling and the omissions,
blah blah blah. Those crazy ladies went off the deep.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I was like, crazy lady, I'll tell you.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
What I think. She was embarrassed, she got caught, she
got busted, yep, and she was like, hey, one time,
and I'm not gonna lie. I was stealing g I
Joe's and I got caught. I got red handed, and
that stopped it for me. I was like, I can't and.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
This was just like this was just like last year,
wasn't it, Kelly?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Last year? And I gotta have those shows, you know what.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I'm Sergeant Slaughter all day.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
So I think Tom was riding up, say hey, it
was the one shot time. You know, you're way better.
You're not an ecstasy, you know why she was taking that.
But hey, I think she's good to go. I wouldn't
worry about it too much. I think was more embarrassed
about anything. She couldn't go.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Put a ring on it. Move on, right, Kelly. Not
a breaker, right.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Yeah, I think it's a steel breaker. I think it's
all good.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It's all good. Do you still have all those gi Jos?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
Actually, I sold a truckload of them and made a uploaded.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
On Joe's Kelly, Kelly, I'm going to tell you something
completely off topic here that's such a heartbreaker. I had
hundreds of those g I Joe's growing up, the little ones,
you know, not the big doll ones, but the little ones.
And you know how they're held together inside with the
little rubber bands.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
I left him up in my parents rafters in the garage.
That's where they were stored for quite a few years.
We got him down and all those rubber bands had
dried out. So I have a box now of about
fifty thousand G I. Joe parts because.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
They all fell apart, buddy, And yeah they're worth bank.
They're worth bank if they're all put together. Oh that.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
I did contact you one time. I was gonna get
together with you and put those together because I have
a complete lift of all the parts and legs.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And well, we might need to do that one night, Kelly,
you and me a couple of beers and we'll play
G I.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Joe all right with your dolls? Not weird about that?
Hit me up.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Yeah, bring your rubber bands, Kelly. He's a funny dude. Kelly,
thank you so much. Have a great day.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Where we falling on this? You guys? Just I am.
I think I'm in honestly with Kelly. Unfortunately of you
just got to move on. She was young.
Speaker 5 (19:11):
Is a dumb situation. We've all done things when we
were dumb. You're gonna get married to your beautiful bride
who you are happy with. Otherwise, well, if you're on
a thousand other levels, I'm.
Speaker 6 (19:21):
Gonna say, if you're about to marry this person. You know,
you've known them for at least a few years at
this point. If they're not showing that side of like
either drug abuse or kleptomania, you know, fine.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yeah, but I do.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Think that Jessica especially hit on some really good points where, uh,
the woman who was keeping this from her future husband,
there's a reason she did that, and if there's a line,
and if she gets to the bottom of it, that's
only gonna make their relationship better in the future. So
I thought her, you know, saying that couple's counseling but
also individual counseling could.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Help me talk it out a little bit.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
That can't hurt.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
You could postpone the wedding a couple months just to
deal with all this, if you haven't gotten too far
into the planning. But yeah, I think overall, Tom's probably
gonna be fine.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Not a deal breaker. I think we can all agree
on that. It's probably not a deal breaker. Let me
tell you, Tom, it's rough out there.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
You don't want to start over, Yeah, Tom, especially if
she's smoking hot.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
It's her biggest red flag. Oh my god, wave it
with pride.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Marry your hot bride, dude, Relax, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
She's hot, she's not.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Depending on the hot stale. She's a nine odd. Don't
even worry about it, right, Katie,
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