February 14, 2025 • 62 mins
In this episode, we'll explore what surrender truly means from a spiritual perspective. We'll delve into: The difference between surrender and giving up: Understanding the nuances of letting go without losing your sense of purpose or agency. The illusion of control: Examining the ways in which we try to control our lives, and the limitations of that approach. The role of trust and faith: How surrendering to the unknown can actually open us up to greater possibilities and opportunities. Practical steps for practicing surrender: Simple techniques and mindfulness practices that can help us cultivate a more surrendering mindset. The benefits of letting go: How surrendering can lead to greater peace, resilience, and a deeper connection to ourselves and the world around us.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:28):
Welcome to Journey with Joan, a podcast hosted by Joan Widen,
a medium, waiki master, and mind body spirit coach. Joined
Joan on a transformative journey as she empowers listeners to
embrace their future, let go of the past, and create
a fulfilling life. Are you ready to embark on your
(00:50):
own journey of self discovery? Please welcome the host of
Journey with Joan, Joan Widen.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Good evening and welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan
only on the Bold Brave TV network and I'm your host,
Joan Widen. My podcast is where we explore the intersection
of spirituality and everyday life. Today we're diving into a powerful,
(01:27):
yet misunderstood topic of our concept, shall we say, of surrender.
It's not about giving up, it's about or becoming passive.
It's really changing your perspective that so you know, life
(01:47):
can be more easier and it can bring us more peace,
especially when things were just not sure about. Okay, So
I had a done a song in a long time,
so I'm going to do start one off tonight. Here
are the lyrics. Let me know what If you know
(02:11):
what song? This is all right, Open up your plans
and damn your free look into your hurt and you'll
find that the sky is yours. Okay, So after the break,
I will tell you who sings that song. But okay,
so our topic again surrendering and letting go so we
(02:36):
can find peace in the world that we live. And now,
you know, having control of everything, it kind of glorifies
how we live, right. So we like to control everything.
We like to know every single moment of every day
(02:59):
what we're doing. And although that's okay to a certain point,
it becomes where it's too rigid, where there's no room
for anything else, or anything different, or anything to just appear.
So in those instances when things get disrupted, if we will,
(03:25):
we find ourselves in a bit of a tizzy or
in a bit of a panic because we're not sure
what to do because that wasn't on the schedule. Right.
So living in Canada again today it is minus four fahrenheit,
so that's minus twenty celsius and it's snowing, and so
(03:51):
when we're out and about and going out, you have
to account for some of those things. Then, of course,
you know, your time block can get shifted because you
have no control over what the if the higher highways
are cleaned or the streets are clear cleaned, or even
(04:12):
all the other drivers around you and what they're going
to do or how they decide to drive, or if
even they have winter tires. Most times people go, well, what, like,
that's really kind of stupid. Why wouldn't they have winter tires? Again,
it's about being open. It doesn't matter about what other
(04:34):
people have, because no one has to abide by what
we want because their world doesn't impact our world. Right,
So a lot of times everyone's like, well, but yes
it does, it does impact my world. It does if
(04:59):
you let it. Our universe. So my universe is my universe,
and what happens in it is what I have brought
into it, and what has become a part of it
is because of what I've put out there and accepted
(05:21):
to come back. All right. So again it's it's one
of those where they intersect and they like they melt together,
but at the same time it's separate. Okay. So again,
when life throws us our curveballs, and it usually does,
(05:43):
it's really hard for us to pivot and and go
on the fly. If we will, we some things. Some
people start to crumble not everyone, because some people have
gotten used to it, right, So again we find ourselves
facing this unknown what can I do? How can I
(06:06):
do it? Actually, a really good example of that is
you have all your finances, and your finances are down
to a t. You have everything listed. This is what
I gotta pay. I gotta pay my mortgage or your rent.
I got gas, I've got you know this much in groceries,
and the list goes on. Okay, So what happens if
(06:31):
it's winter rate or it's icye or slippery because it's
raining and you lose control of your car and you
end up popping a tire? Now what some people have
an accountant for that emergency or that unexpected expense. So
(06:56):
it throws us into a little bit of a loop
and going how does this work? I can't figure out
everything because everything has already been fully controlled, fully like
everything right down to a tee is done. And this
is where it brings so much anxiety and stress to
(07:17):
our bodies, and it like it hits us, and it
still hits us within our bodies. It stays there. It's
like we start talking back to us ourselves, like I
can't believe you let this happen. How did we not
have an emergency fund? How do we how do we
live this way and not even think that something like
(07:38):
that would ever happen. Now, a lot of you are
going to say, well, isn't that life scales one oh one?
And for most people, yes, but sometimes it just is
because we're we're so in that mind frame, the narrow
nine mind frame that these are all that things that
(08:00):
I have and it's controlled, so we know those are
all what we have and we don't think anything outside
of the box. Because again, it's it's that sense of control.
It's knowing everything that you've got in your life and
(08:22):
you're planned out completely. So those things kind of get
us thrown off. Okay, so again it's what it's It's
one of those take time to breathe and relax and
let's figure this out without being mean to ourselves. It's
(08:45):
about being present in the moment moment, figuring out what
other things we can do at the moment. Heck, most
people have credit cards, so guess what you can use that.
It's not a big deal. It's about coming up with
solutions without adding extra stress and in a life full
(09:07):
of control. These stressors we have all these stressors, even
though we're not in the Caveman area anymore, where the
caveman situations are, we always had to be on guard
because it was life or death. But if we think
(09:28):
of a deer, for example, a deer is very mindful
of its surroundings. But the deer is also very very present.
So they're so present. They're going about their day. They're
eating because that's what they do, and they hear a
(09:48):
twig snap. So what do they do. They stop, and
then they listen, and they keep listening and they look
around and then they go, Okay, there's nothing there. I
don't see any danger. And then they go about eating
and just go about their time. Do they stay in
(10:10):
that moment? Do they keep freezing? Do they just like
stay frozen in that time and keep remembering that, Hey,
I felt danger. I need to stay in that moment
of danger. No, if they did, they would never be around. Yes,
they're skittish, but because they're in the moment and they're
(10:34):
checking to make sure, because they are in that survival mode.
But as soon as it's gone, it's past, they let go.
They don't hang on to that. Oh my goodness, I
almost died even if a predator tried to chase them,
(10:54):
they don't hold on to that memory. In fact, really
humans are the only ones that hang on to that stuff.
Why is because it's part we start accepting it as
part of our DNA. So if we can start to
let it go and just surrender to that moment, surrender
(11:18):
to that experience that we had, even though it may
not have been the best experience, that's okay. Just allow
it and know that it's gone, because it's once it's happened,
it's no longer serving you. So to keep reliving it
and playing it here, how does that serve you? The
(11:39):
only way that it actually serves you is by being
perpetually stressed and full of anxiety, full of and what
does that do? It gives you possibly heart issues, and
it could lead to depression. It can lead to your
(12:00):
body physical body is starting to break down. So I'm
going to do a caveat here and just let everyone know,
not giving any medical advice. I am not a medical doctor,
nor a doctor of the mind psychologist, but these are
the things that I have learned and observed through my clients,
(12:22):
and so I'm speaking with research in mind and experience. Okay,
so again, when we allow this stuff to hit us,
it hits us and it starts to alter our being.
(12:42):
It starts to I believe I said this in one
podcast before where we feel we were so stressed out
and then we go, oh, my goodness, I think I
aged ten years overnight. And guess what you actually do?
Because your body, that's the power of our minds and
(13:05):
our body. It goes, oh yeah, we totally are and
I will totally show you how correct and honest that is.
And you wake up, you know, hours later, and you've
got white hair. So again, our bodies can control a
(13:28):
lot of things. And if we let go and we
just surrender to what's happening around us. Now, again, surrendering
isn't about laying down and going okay, here's the knife,
kill me now. It's not about that. It's about knowing
(13:49):
that there's an external forces that are beyond your control
and understanding that when we hang on to things so tightly,
it really really means we have no control. So if
(14:10):
we're looking at say a car, when we're driving our
car and you're driving on either a gravel road or
it's raining, and you start hydroplaning, so our reaction is
to hang on. We white knuckle it, and we like
(14:32):
slam on the brakes or we do anything so we
can try to control our vehicle so not to get
out of control. Right, But when we actually learn and
just breathe, we you know, we don't hang on so tight.
We just we're holding it like we're normally driving. You
(14:55):
don't slam on the brakes, you you know, you kind
of pump it a little bit and you you allow
the car to move the way it can while you're
slowly slowing it down to actually gain control. So you
let go of the control, physical control in order to
(15:15):
gain control over the situation at hand. All right, So
with that in mind, we are going to give some
love to our sponsors. We will be back into.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Mike Zurich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike Blind
six birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(15:53):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competent. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(16:16):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
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(17:02):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
Radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
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(17:25):
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Speaker 2 (17:54):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan only on the
Bold Brave TV Network. I'm your host White And before
the break, we were talking about surrender again. Surrender is
not about throwing in the towel. It's not about giving
up or resigning or doing like. It's not about all
(18:17):
of that. When I say surrender, it's really surrender to
what you're arguing for, what you are pushing so hard for.
So when we like to control ourselves, I always like
to tell my clients and people that come to me,
(18:39):
or even my friends when they're asking me, like Joan,
why why do I always get the same guy? Same
kind of men come towards me. They don't respect me,
They use me. They they they they they they all
(18:59):
the if you will. And my answer is is, well,
you're trying to control the narrative of who you're looking for.
Open your heart and your mind about being what you
(19:21):
want instead of focusing so tightly. It's just like the
car analysis about you know, we're trying not to get
into this car wrect, so we're forcing it with all
our might to control and maneuver this, you know, our car,
which is what a thousand pounds that machinery. Like, how
(19:44):
how as a human if you're a grown man or
you know, a female like I'm petite, So how would
one hundred pounds me be able to offending all this
one thousand pounds vehicle? Well, what you do is you
feel the movement of it, and you go with the
(20:07):
flow and slowly do things. Then as soon as you
feel the grip of the tires on the ground, which
you will if you're being present and not trying to
control everything, then you will have control. So I like
to say to all of them, it's like holding a balloon, right,
(20:31):
it's got healium in it, and we're having a great time.
And you know, most times everyone's just like hanging so
tight because they don't want to lose it, and what
happens is you end up letting go and then people
are upset because it's let go because I wanted to
have that you know, balloon, because it meant so much
(20:51):
for me, think out of the box. Instead of having
to hang on so tight. I used to tie it
onto my children and then they would have a great
time because they knew it was there and they had
didn't have to worry about it. And there's no control, okay.
So again, it's not about laying down and letting other
(21:14):
people ram all over you and figure that out, okay.
So it's it's literally knowing that there is a creator
force than we are. The universe is at play, or
the Creator or God or whomever or Allah whoever you
speak to. Right, So it's about knowing that it's not
(21:39):
just us. We also emanate what we want. So if
we're all about control, how is it that we can
get new things coming towards us because our energy is emitting.
(22:00):
I've got everything under control. Everything is ada z and
it doesn't get mixed up, it doesn't get shuffled ever.
It is ada z. That's it. No, it'sens or but
and that's how it's going to go. So if you
were looking and you're trying to change your life, if
(22:23):
you will and you're going, well, I would like to
see a change in a relationship. I would like to
see how doors can open up for me. Well, if
you have your ways and you're set to in your
ways and it's ada z again, in the alphabet, there's
only aighta Z. There is no other alphabet unless okay,
(22:45):
but there are other alphabets in different languages. I'm talking
about English language, right, ada z. There's where can the universe, God, Creator, Allah, Buddha,
how can they get something in there for you when
every slot has already been filed. Okay, So just breathe aloud.
(23:10):
And for some people it's like, but Joe, this is
so hard. I can't handle not knowing every second of
the day. Well, most times we are on autopilot, right,
So it's really about taking a deep breath and go, okay,
(23:32):
I'm going to be open to this. So basically, you know,
we're fighting so hard for something and we feel like
we're always banging our head against the door or against
the wall because we're not getting anywhere. We're spinning or
like it's we're just spinning in circles. No one's listening,
no one's hearing us, We're not being seen, We're this
(23:55):
or that right like it feels like groundhogged It Day,
where everything is the same boring thing always. But once
we realize, just like in groundhout Day, Bill Murray he
realized he could change the narrative. He was more open
(24:18):
and he allowed more things and he would go, oh wait,
I remember this, right. But in real life, we don't
get to relive the day every day for like over
and over and over again. So what we end up
doing to protect ourselves, what we do to protect ourselves
(24:39):
is those experiences end up becoming stored in our memory,
stored in our hearts and in our bodies, and our
bodies tell us no, no, no, no, no, no no, you can't
do that. That's stranger danger, that is absolute danger. No,
thank you. Okay. What we have to do is when
(25:04):
we observe that, and when we feel that, we honor it.
We let it sit with us and we go okay,
all right, and then our minds will start to say
things and keep going and it makes things up and
(25:26):
some people say, well, no, I don't have that, and
you may not in a sense have that, But there
is where we relive our day and go, how could
I make that differently? That's where it's you know, some
people will go, well that's more what I do. Okay,
(25:47):
I get that. It's the same thing though, because we ruinate,
we stew on that. We we allow our lives to
kind of get steward like steered that way because of
our experiences. So allowing and releasing because again, when we release,
(26:18):
we allow our heart to open. And when we relinquish control,
is it hard? Yeah, it can be. It really can.
Like being in control all the time. It's like it's
(26:38):
almost like an addiction. Well, it is an actually it
is an addiction because we're addicted to be being in
control of our lives. We need to have that right,
that is that addiction. We so need that control because
(27:00):
why makes us feel safe. It makes us feel like
we know what we're doing and there's no room for uncertainty.
But when we decide, okay, this is not serving me anymore.
Feeling controlled or being controlling your life no longer serves me.
(27:23):
So how can I make this serve me? Right? So
we let go. We witness it, we see it, and
we start to let go. But what happens is our
bodies start to panic and it goes no, no, no, no no,
because again there's that uncertainty and the knowingness of what
(27:50):
our day to day is is gone. Whether or not
it's good or bad, it still is that. It's that addiction,
that's an addiction of knowing, and even if it's not
great for us at times, we get addicted to that
feeling of knowing and that knowing, even if there's a disappointment,
(28:13):
we also get addicted to that feeling, that emotion within us.
And if we don't have that or we start to
change ourselves, our bodies start to fight back and go,
whoa wait, wait, I'm not getting this hit. I'm not
getting the hit of you know, like I'm supposed to
feel bad now, why don't I feel bad? Okay, there's
(28:37):
something wrong, and so we start to switch right. The
best way though, to allow that and is really to
watch it and know that you're okay and just let
it be. It's it's not engaging with our mind or
(28:59):
our bodies. We take a few deep breaths. A great
way to figure this out really is spend some mindfulness,
going out in nature, spend time with yourself and understanding
really who you are. When we do that, it really
(29:21):
changes everything in our life. It's a game changer. It's
like meditation or prayer, if you will, even if it's
not your typical meditation. For example, me, I have busy days.
(29:42):
I'm in my car constantly driving with my children, and
so I sit in stillness at home right before bad
and I start doing a mantra. It's not really a mantra.
I start saying, I am that I am, and that
(30:05):
is enough. And it is a huge one because it
reminds you that you don't have to be perfect. There's
no perfect right. Even when I'm getting ready to do
podcasts for you guys, sometimes I get in my head
and it says, are you sure they're gonna like it?
(30:25):
And all all these things? Right? No one is perfect.
I'm not perfect. It's about going okay, I know I
can do this. I know, and I also believe in myself.
(30:46):
Spirit will come through people, will you know? Listen. So
I really do very much appreciate every single one of you.
I really do think you. Thank you so again. It's
it's about believing in you. So again. One mantra is
(31:09):
I am that I am and that is enough. And
for a lot of people we like to think, you know,
am I enough? Am I good? Enough? Am I? This?
Am I that? How does this work? I can't? You know?
(31:29):
Will people like me? How? And on that note, because
I realized I never gave you the name of this song,
So the lyrics again, we're open your plans and damn
you're free. Look into your heart and you'll find that
the sky is yours. So the name of the song
(31:53):
is I'm Yours by Jason sUAS or Maras Sorry, Jason Maraz,
I'm yours. Okay. So again, when we start to sit
in stillness, we can find two like we can find ourselves.
And it's not that we've lost ourselves. We haven't ever
(32:15):
lost ourselves. We find out who we are. We truly
get to know ourselves. Okay. And on that note, now
we're going to give some more love to our sponsors.
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Speaker 1 (32:34):
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tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan Only on the
fold Brave TV network and I'm your host, John Widen.
We are talking about surrendering and letting go for the
break as talking about just allowing and breathing, letting it
all in knowing. So when we allow and let things go,
(35:04):
we actually open up a ton of possibilities to come
our way. So life changes for us. And when we
can also observe some of the craziness of our control
and just not allow it, like honor it and just
(35:27):
let it be and not engage in it, it starts
to open up. It opens up the change, and it
feels like it's uncertain and uncertainty is there, but you
start to feel the change, and in a sense, some
people will say it's like, how did you get so lucky?
(35:48):
And why are you so lucky all of a sudden,
And it's really because you've decided to relinquish the control
and you've opened yourself up up for the infinite possibilities
that can come your way. It really is that simple.
And I know they're like some of you might say, well,
(36:12):
but it's painful some of it. You're right, it is,
but the pain of it is really us fighting, fighting
it and not wanting to relinquish it. It's almost like
fighting even though you know you're wrong, we end up
(36:34):
fighting and where it's like picking our battles and we
keep battling it and battling it even though we now
we're wrong. But you know, we need to die on
this mountain why. I don't know, because I need to
be in control. I need to have the last say
I need, I need, I need instead of going okay,
(36:58):
I get it, I see you, huh. I don't necessarily
like this feeling, but I'm gonna sit with it and
I will and know that I'll be okay. Just like
when we're in a relationship. Some people always ask me
(37:19):
why about relationships? When will I find someone when can
I find a mate that will love me the way
I want to be loved? You'll again, you'll find a
meat the way that will love you the way you
will want to be loved is when you start respecting
and loving yourself that way and so that the energy
(37:41):
can broadcast that out to the world and they can
come to you. But remember it's it's it's that so
you start broadcasting it out. But when you get someone
come to you and there are signs, if you will,
(38:04):
where they're not being respectful to you or they're doing X,
I don't even like to put it out there, right,
we still say you stay, So what does that mean?
That's your scar and that's the experience from before where
(38:25):
we go. I remember this feeling, and this feeling is well,
this is how a relationship looks like. This is how
it's supposed to be because it's always been that way.
Remember that is something that you said that you didn't
want anymore, so we have to let go. It's that addiction.
(38:46):
It's that you know, it's part of the withdrawal process
where our body is protesting and it's going, no, we
need this drama, if you will, we need that emotional
hit even though that emotional hit is something that we
(39:06):
despise almost and you know we it breaks us, but
we need it because that's what we're used to. But
just because we're used to it doesn't mean it's good
for us. Right again, is it for your greatest high
(39:28):
as good? No, it doesn't serve you any longer. It's
time to just surrender and let it go. And again,
surrendering isn't saying yeah, go ahead, treat me like crap,
treat me like garbage. That's not what it is. It's
about going no, I'm gonna let you go, because why
(39:50):
because then we're allowing the door to be open for
someone new. We are no longer accepting those things. Yes,
do you see? So it's and even I say it
easily with relationships because a lot of people that's what
they're looking for. But so also before the break, I
(40:12):
was talking about people being lucky if you will, it's
the same thing. Years ago, someone told me they're like, Joan,
why do you have horseshoes up your ass? Why does
it always feel like whatever you want it just comes
to you? How is that possible? Why is that? Oh
(40:37):
my goodness, you just are a lucky person. You got
horseshoes up your butt, right, and being young, I was like,
what are you talking about? I don't I don't have this,
and you know, so I unfortunately I claimed it at
the time, and I went, what are you talking about?
Like I have these All these things happened for me
(41:00):
because of all the things that I do. Right. Again,
words are spouse and we have to honor that. And
so even though they called it luck I and I
didn't like it, I fought it right And again it's
about knowing that, okay, even though that's what they say,
(41:24):
it doesn't necessarily translate to how you feel okay. So
after I had proclaimed that, if you will, I found
that it was really hard for me to get things
and go places the way I used to do. I
gott in car accidents, I got like I you know,
(41:48):
had a harder time in colleges where I had teachers
tell me I'm Asian, so I am a cheater and
I Asian so English isn't my first language. Even though
it is like all these things right, like what happened
and I sat down afterwards, going what is going on?
(42:10):
Why is this? Like this? How is this? Then I realized,
you know what it was because I said, no, I'm
not lucky, and it's not about the luck. It was
about me closing myself off and going screw you, don't
tell me I'm not lucky. It just switched something in
(42:33):
my mind where I shut down the flow, the energy
flow of going in and out. So what I had
to do was go, you know what, I had to
be okay with the word lucky. Sometimes things we just
don't love because we feel like, well that's that's a
(42:57):
cop out. There's no such thing, right, Like, it's part
of our belief systems. Again, like everything comes back and
it comes back to you experiences, and these experiences can
be so profound and the moment I've realized why things
(43:18):
changed in my life, it was like in ah and
it went, oh I get it, I get it. I
proclaim that no. Like but even though yeah, like it's
okay to call things lucky, doors open, I can't I
admit that they actually do when it's fairly easy. I know,
(43:42):
like someone will say, okay, you're going downtown. It's gonna
you know, you're gonna have to take a little bit
more time, and I'm like, yeah, okay, and they're like,
well it's really hard to find parking, and I'm like, nah,
it's okay, I'll parking is a breeze downtown, you know.
And most people they'll say no, no, no, no, no,
it's not it's hard. It's really hard to find parking.
(44:03):
And for me, I'm like, no, parking, it will be
right there. So I get there sure enough. There's always one.
I always like to call it Rockstar parking because rockstar
I get one right outside the door every time. And
(44:25):
why because I know it's there, and do I hang
on to that now? So in fact the moment, I
am not being in the moment, and I'm thinking too much,
and I'm clinging onto the fact that, you know, I
really need that parking spot outside the door this time.
(44:47):
I need it. I need it, I need it. Guess
what I don't get that spot. Why? It's because you
hang on tight to it. We're hanging too close to
the outcome. It's about knowing that it's there. It's about
having faith, it's about following your intuition. It's being open
(45:14):
to receiving and then it just kind of drops into
your lap. It just allows and it's the most profound
thing ever. But again, like the moment I'm hanging on
to that. It's like, oh my goodness, I'm late. Okay,
all the lights need to be green, and I need
(45:35):
to have parking spot right outside. Guess what. Every light,
every light, I'm telling you, is red and parking at
the end of the parking spot lot right. So again
it's you can have what you want, but we can't
(45:55):
control it. We surrender to the universe and go, okay,
I know this is and it's about being grateful for
having it already and not being incessant in your mind
about needing it and having it. It's about being grateful
and going thank you. I get it. And even when
(46:19):
I'm driving somewhere and I have no clue and GPS
is kind of acting wonky because my phone does every
once in a while, and it's just because of spirits,
I just kind of go, okay, take me take me there, kay,
spirit Okay, God, kay, Universe, get me there, and it
(46:43):
will start. I will just start going certain spaces and
then I'm there and people are like, how did you
get here? I don't know, it just did. I just
don't even over question it anymore. It's just like I
asked and they delivered. So again, it's all about believing, knowing, accepting,
(47:10):
and being grateful for everything that comes your way, whether
it's a parking spot, whether it's people that come into
your life, whether it's getting free breakfast at a hotel
that doesn't offer breakfast, but you get free breakfast in
the morning because you decided to say hi and you said, hey,
(47:37):
can I get breakfast included with my night's day? And
they kind of look and they're like, actually, yeah, and
then it happens. Right. So there's all these different things
where once we start letting go and surrendering and practicing
practice practice about letting go and not and being so
(47:58):
grateful and just seeing and feeling here that it's already
happened and knowing right, it's most people say, well, if
you can see it, it will happen. Yes, But at
the same time, no, because that's only half of it.
(48:19):
You really need to believe it, see it, believe it
meaning fully, encompass it with your emotions. Okay, Now, at
that note, with emotions, we're gonna give some love to
our sponsors. We'll be back into.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving. Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(49:00):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for The Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships, health, wellbeing,
and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying Generation are
(49:20):
on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus my caregiving library.
Online caregiver support programs and programs for corporations interested in
supporting working caregivers. Help, Hope and support for caregivers is
here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela d Wilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Mike Zorich, a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(50:01):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist, who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(50:24):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan only on the
World Brave TV Network, and I'm your host, Joan Widen.
Before the break, we were talking about feeling, how to
accept letting go and accept to allow new things to
come into your space. So the reason why we control
(51:09):
is to prevent certain experiences to keep coming back. But unfortunately,
when we control that, we end up calling back all
those experiences back. And we end up reliving all of
that all the time. So how you can practice to
(51:34):
allow this to come your way is through meditation, through stillness,
through getting out in nature, having spending time with yourself
so you can get to know yourself better. So a
lot of times some people say to me, too, Joan,
and I just don't want to be alone. I'm scared
(51:55):
to be alone. I'm just better person being in a relationship.
So most times I will say to them, actually, all
the times I say to them is well, you have
to get to know yourself. And when we resist stuff
(52:17):
for really we just resist things just for resisting things
are the things that we really have to look at
the most and we have to sit with it. And
a lot of times, I'm going to say, a lot
of my clients and a lot of my friends, they're like,
I don't I'm okay being alone, but I don't enjoy it.
(52:40):
I need to be with someone or out and about.
So I always tell them, okay, well, sit with yourself
and what is it that you hate about it? What
is it that you just can't handle being alone? And
(53:02):
when you can get honest with yourself and accept the
things that you don't like, and a lot of times
it's because when I'm alone, this is the answer. When
I'm alone alone, I think too much. I get in
my head too much, and I don't like how it
(53:25):
feels or it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. I don't know what
to do. I don't know what well, why why is
it uncomfortable? Figure out something to do? Okay, So there's
there's those things. Now let's go back to surrendering and
feeling and knowing. Okay. So yes, it's about visualizing. Yes,
(53:50):
it's about knowing that it's already come and it's here.
But it's about also themis motion, the emotion of really
understanding and wanting to like just feeling and emanating that
love without the attachment. So surrendering is knowing that you
(54:17):
already know and that because we are energetic bodies, we
are soul in this, in this physical body, we have
a knowing. But some people are like, but I don't
really know. It's not about physically having to know. We
(54:42):
have a knowing that's built in within ourselves, which is
like a beacon of light that just kind of goes
boob bobe, you know, like a sonar radar where the
energy just starts coming to us. But if we have
an attachment to it, that's when it goes wrong. Like
(55:05):
that goes that's where it goes away. Where you know
we're attached to an outcome, we're attached to it. We
have to, we need to. It absolutely has to you. Right,
So when you're surrendering, we're letting go, but we're also
knowing that it's there and the possibility is there. You
(55:26):
can see it, you can feel it. And once you've
seen it and you've honed in on it and you're like, yes,
I feel it, you just let go because it doesn't
matter how it comes. You don't need to know the directions.
You don't need to know how God, the Universe, Spirit,
(55:49):
your guides, Allah, Buddha will send it to you. It
doesn't matter it's coming. It is there. Be thankful, be grateful. Okay.
Another is when you see it and then your mind
(56:09):
or our body shutters and it goes. But we did
this before and it went terribly wrong. That is so
the reason why things go terribly wrong day to day
and it seems to persist is because our subconscious is
(56:34):
hanging on for dear life. They're hanging on to that
experience because they don't want it to happen. But when
we hang on to it so tightly, that experience can
only be there. That's the only experience that can be
there because we just make it happen. It just shows
(56:54):
up like that, and it really is because we feel it,
and it's it's like to our core, it's almost to
our bones because we've closed our eyes and we're witnessing it.
We're seeing it. And not only are we seeing it, our.
Speaker 4 (57:11):
Whole body has that emotion and it's like I remember
and that was, and that's.
Speaker 2 (57:21):
What makes it sit, That's what makes it stick. So
if we can do that for the negative, think about
what happens when you let go of that and you
start looking at the things of the different possibilities that
(57:45):
you want to attract to. You feel that you want
to be a golf player, but you keep telling yourself,
I can't play, and I can't play because I get
in my mind and guess what you get out on
(58:08):
the thing? You hit a few, they go out in
the tall grass or in the forest, or in the
in the sand, or in the pond. It just happens.
Why because we've already told ourselves it's about proclaiming. We
proclaim Like most times when we go out we're meeting
(58:30):
new people, we shake someone's hand and we say, hi,
my name is my name is Joan, right, and or
my name is Sally. Let's say that because I'm not
so my name is Jane. Nice to meet you. You know.
(58:54):
It's like we have to tell people our stories. We
have to tell them that, you know what, I'm kind
of sensitive and the sense of being I you know,
I have lots of anxiety. So sometimes I'm not able
to handle being in a room too long with a
lot of people. I don't like to go to the
mall blah blah blah blah blah blah. Right, So we
(59:16):
are giving ourselves this title. We are proclaiming this let
it go. That's not you. None of that stuff serves
us for our greatest high as good, it really doesn't.
What that happens and what that does to our physical
(59:37):
bodies is create havoc. It makes our bodies be exhausted,
Our bodies can no long like our bodies are constantly
in fight mode survival mode. What does it do? It
decreases our immune system. It allows stress to like ghibit
(01:00:00):
our body, and we're in heightened the levels of these
stress hormones and receptors, like our brain goes crazy, right,
So what does that do? It fatigues our body. So
then when we get sick and someone sneezes on us, boom,
(01:00:22):
you're sick. And it's of course you are because your
body can't handle it. It's been at a heightened state.
And then even if you like when you're sleeping again,
if you're still at this heightened stage, what does that do.
It can give you high blood pressure, it can give
(01:00:43):
you cardiac issues, it can lead to diseases, you name it.
It just our bodies can't handle all of that stress
all the time. So when we relinquish the control, we
actually you have way more control within our bodies. Our
(01:01:04):
bodies have time to recover and heal, and we can
accept and know that we are loved and we are
worthy of whatever the universe or what we would like. Now, again,
this is not just about physical material things. This is
(01:01:25):
about knowing you and being receptive to everything in anything
that's for your greatest, highest good. And on that note,
love yourselves, love you, have a great night. We are
(01:01:49):
out of time. I could talk about this all night
embracement feels his soul. You're watching Journey with Joan only
on the Bold Brave TV now Work. Have a good night, Oh, Fridays,
six pm Pacific, nine pm Eastern. Good night.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
This has been Journey with Joan with your host Joan Widen.
Tune in each week and start creating the life you deserve.
Here Fridays at nine pm Eastern on the Bold Brave
TV network
Welcome to Journey with Joan, a podcast hosted by Joan Widen,
a medium, waiki master, and mind body spirit coach. Joined
Joan on a transformative journey as she empowers listeners to
embrace their future, let go of the past, and create
a fulfilling life. Are you ready to embark on your
(00:50):
own journey of self discovery? Please welcome the host of
Journey with Joan, Joan Widen.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Good evening and welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan
only on the Bold Brave TV network and I'm your host,
Joan Widen. My podcast is where we explore the intersection
of spirituality and everyday life. Today we're diving into a powerful,
(01:27):
yet misunderstood topic of our concept, shall we say, of surrender.
It's not about giving up, it's about or becoming passive.
It's really changing your perspective that so you know, life
(01:47):
can be more easier and it can bring us more peace,
especially when things were just not sure about. Okay, So
I had a done a song in a long time,
so I'm going to do start one off tonight. Here
are the lyrics. Let me know what If you know
(02:11):
what song? This is all right, Open up your plans
and damn your free look into your hurt and you'll
find that the sky is yours. Okay, So after the break,
I will tell you who sings that song. But okay,
so our topic again surrendering and letting go so we
(02:36):
can find peace in the world that we live. And now,
you know, having control of everything, it kind of glorifies
how we live, right. So we like to control everything.
We like to know every single moment of every day
(02:59):
what we're doing. And although that's okay to a certain point,
it becomes where it's too rigid, where there's no room
for anything else, or anything different, or anything to just appear.
So in those instances when things get disrupted, if we will,
(03:25):
we find ourselves in a bit of a tizzy or
in a bit of a panic because we're not sure
what to do because that wasn't on the schedule. Right.
So living in Canada again today it is minus four fahrenheit,
so that's minus twenty celsius and it's snowing, and so
(03:51):
when we're out and about and going out, you have
to account for some of those things. Then, of course,
you know, your time block can get shifted because you
have no control over what the if the higher highways
are cleaned or the streets are clear cleaned, or even
(04:12):
all the other drivers around you and what they're going
to do or how they decide to drive, or if
even they have winter tires. Most times people go, well, what, like,
that's really kind of stupid. Why wouldn't they have winter tires? Again,
it's about being open. It doesn't matter about what other
(04:34):
people have, because no one has to abide by what
we want because their world doesn't impact our world. Right,
So a lot of times everyone's like, well, but yes
it does, it does impact my world. It does if
(04:59):
you let it. Our universe. So my universe is my universe,
and what happens in it is what I have brought
into it, and what has become a part of it
is because of what I've put out there and accepted
(05:21):
to come back. All right. So again it's it's one
of those where they intersect and they like they melt together,
but at the same time it's separate. Okay. So again,
when life throws us our curveballs, and it usually does,
(05:43):
it's really hard for us to pivot and and go
on the fly. If we will, we some things. Some
people start to crumble not everyone, because some people have
gotten used to it, right, So again we find ourselves
facing this unknown what can I do? How can I
(06:06):
do it? Actually, a really good example of that is
you have all your finances, and your finances are down
to a t. You have everything listed. This is what
I gotta pay. I gotta pay my mortgage or your rent.
I got gas, I've got you know this much in groceries,
and the list goes on. Okay, So what happens if
(06:31):
it's winter rate or it's icye or slippery because it's
raining and you lose control of your car and you
end up popping a tire? Now what some people have
an accountant for that emergency or that unexpected expense. So
(06:56):
it throws us into a little bit of a loop
and going how does this work? I can't figure out
everything because everything has already been fully controlled, fully like
everything right down to a tee is done. And this
is where it brings so much anxiety and stress to
(07:17):
our bodies, and it like it hits us, and it
still hits us within our bodies. It stays there. It's
like we start talking back to us ourselves, like I
can't believe you let this happen. How did we not
have an emergency fund? How do we how do we
live this way and not even think that something like
(07:38):
that would ever happen. Now, a lot of you are
going to say, well, isn't that life scales one oh one?
And for most people, yes, but sometimes it just is
because we're we're so in that mind frame, the narrow
nine mind frame that these are all that things that
(08:00):
I have and it's controlled, so we know those are
all what we have and we don't think anything outside
of the box. Because again, it's it's that sense of control.
It's knowing everything that you've got in your life and
(08:22):
you're planned out completely. So those things kind of get
us thrown off. Okay, so again it's what it's It's
one of those take time to breathe and relax and
let's figure this out without being mean to ourselves. It's
(08:45):
about being present in the moment moment, figuring out what
other things we can do at the moment. Heck, most
people have credit cards, so guess what you can use that.
It's not a big deal. It's about coming up with
solutions without adding extra stress and in a life full
(09:07):
of control. These stressors we have all these stressors, even
though we're not in the Caveman area anymore, where the
caveman situations are, we always had to be on guard
because it was life or death. But if we think
(09:28):
of a deer, for example, a deer is very mindful
of its surroundings. But the deer is also very very present.
So they're so present. They're going about their day. They're
eating because that's what they do, and they hear a
(09:48):
twig snap. So what do they do. They stop, and
then they listen, and they keep listening and they look
around and then they go, Okay, there's nothing there. I
don't see any danger. And then they go about eating
and just go about their time. Do they stay in
(10:10):
that moment? Do they keep freezing? Do they just like
stay frozen in that time and keep remembering that, Hey,
I felt danger. I need to stay in that moment
of danger. No, if they did, they would never be around. Yes,
they're skittish, but because they're in the moment and they're
(10:34):
checking to make sure, because they are in that survival mode.
But as soon as it's gone, it's past, they let go.
They don't hang on to that. Oh my goodness, I
almost died even if a predator tried to chase them,
(10:54):
they don't hold on to that memory. In fact, really
humans are the only ones that hang on to that stuff.
Why is because it's part we start accepting it as
part of our DNA. So if we can start to
let it go and just surrender to that moment, surrender
(11:18):
to that experience that we had, even though it may
not have been the best experience, that's okay. Just allow
it and know that it's gone, because it's once it's happened,
it's no longer serving you. So to keep reliving it
and playing it here, how does that serve you? The
(11:39):
only way that it actually serves you is by being
perpetually stressed and full of anxiety, full of and what
does that do? It gives you possibly heart issues, and
it could lead to depression. It can lead to your
(12:00):
body physical body is starting to break down. So I'm
going to do a caveat here and just let everyone know,
not giving any medical advice. I am not a medical doctor,
nor a doctor of the mind psychologist, but these are
the things that I have learned and observed through my clients,
(12:22):
and so I'm speaking with research in mind and experience. Okay,
so again, when we allow this stuff to hit us,
it hits us and it starts to alter our being.
(12:42):
It starts to I believe I said this in one
podcast before where we feel we were so stressed out
and then we go, oh, my goodness, I think I
aged ten years overnight. And guess what you actually do?
Because your body, that's the power of our minds and
(13:05):
our body. It goes, oh yeah, we totally are and
I will totally show you how correct and honest that is.
And you wake up, you know, hours later, and you've
got white hair. So again, our bodies can control a
(13:28):
lot of things. And if we let go and we
just surrender to what's happening around us. Now, again, surrendering
isn't about laying down and going okay, here's the knife,
kill me now. It's not about that. It's about knowing
(13:49):
that there's an external forces that are beyond your control
and understanding that when we hang on to things so tightly,
it really really means we have no control. So if
(14:10):
we're looking at say a car, when we're driving our
car and you're driving on either a gravel road or
it's raining, and you start hydroplaning, so our reaction is
to hang on. We white knuckle it, and we like
(14:32):
slam on the brakes or we do anything so we
can try to control our vehicle so not to get
out of control. Right, But when we actually learn and
just breathe, we you know, we don't hang on so tight.
We just we're holding it like we're normally driving. You
(14:55):
don't slam on the brakes, you you know, you kind
of pump it a little bit and you you allow
the car to move the way it can while you're
slowly slowing it down to actually gain control. So you
let go of the control, physical control in order to
(15:15):
gain control over the situation at hand. All right, So
with that in mind, we are going to give some
love to our sponsors. We will be back into.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Mike Zurich a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike Blind
six birth was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(15:53):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competent. Nancy Zorich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(16:16):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zorich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(17:02):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
Radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(17:25):
my Caregiving library. Online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers. Help, hope and support
for caregivers is here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela
Dwilson dot com.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan only on the
Bold Brave TV Network. I'm your host White And before
the break, we were talking about surrender again. Surrender is
not about throwing in the towel. It's not about giving
up or resigning or doing like. It's not about all
(18:17):
of that. When I say surrender, it's really surrender to
what you're arguing for, what you are pushing so hard for.
So when we like to control ourselves, I always like
to tell my clients and people that come to me,
(18:39):
or even my friends when they're asking me, like Joan,
why why do I always get the same guy? Same
kind of men come towards me. They don't respect me,
They use me. They they they they they they all
(18:59):
the if you will. And my answer is is, well,
you're trying to control the narrative of who you're looking for.
Open your heart and your mind about being what you
(19:21):
want instead of focusing so tightly. It's just like the
car analysis about you know, we're trying not to get
into this car wrect, so we're forcing it with all
our might to control and maneuver this, you know, our car,
which is what a thousand pounds that machinery. Like, how
(19:44):
how as a human if you're a grown man or
you know, a female like I'm petite, So how would
one hundred pounds me be able to offending all this
one thousand pounds vehicle? Well, what you do is you
feel the movement of it, and you go with the
(20:07):
flow and slowly do things. Then as soon as you
feel the grip of the tires on the ground, which
you will if you're being present and not trying to
control everything, then you will have control. So I like
to say to all of them, it's like holding a balloon, right,
(20:31):
it's got healium in it, and we're having a great time.
And you know, most times everyone's just like hanging so
tight because they don't want to lose it, and what
happens is you end up letting go and then people
are upset because it's let go because I wanted to
have that you know, balloon, because it meant so much
(20:51):
for me, think out of the box. Instead of having
to hang on so tight. I used to tie it
onto my children and then they would have a great
time because they knew it was there and they had
didn't have to worry about it. And there's no control, okay.
So again, it's not about laying down and letting other
(21:14):
people ram all over you and figure that out, okay.
So it's it's literally knowing that there is a creator
force than we are. The universe is at play, or
the Creator or God or whomever or Allah whoever you
speak to. Right, So it's about knowing that it's not
(21:39):
just us. We also emanate what we want. So if
we're all about control, how is it that we can
get new things coming towards us because our energy is emitting.
(22:00):
I've got everything under control. Everything is ada z and
it doesn't get mixed up, it doesn't get shuffled ever.
It is ada z. That's it. No, it'sens or but
and that's how it's going to go. So if you
were looking and you're trying to change your life, if
(22:23):
you will and you're going, well, I would like to
see a change in a relationship. I would like to
see how doors can open up for me. Well, if
you have your ways and you're set to in your
ways and it's ada z again, in the alphabet, there's
only aighta Z. There is no other alphabet unless okay,
(22:45):
but there are other alphabets in different languages. I'm talking
about English language, right, ada z. There's where can the universe, God, Creator, Allah, Buddha,
how can they get something in there for you when
every slot has already been filed. Okay, So just breathe aloud.
(23:10):
And for some people it's like, but Joe, this is
so hard. I can't handle not knowing every second of
the day. Well, most times we are on autopilot, right,
So it's really about taking a deep breath and go, okay,
(23:32):
I'm going to be open to this. So basically, you know,
we're fighting so hard for something and we feel like
we're always banging our head against the door or against
the wall because we're not getting anywhere. We're spinning or
like it's we're just spinning in circles. No one's listening,
no one's hearing us, We're not being seen, We're this
(23:55):
or that right like it feels like groundhogged It Day,
where everything is the same boring thing always. But once
we realize, just like in groundhout Day, Bill Murray he
realized he could change the narrative. He was more open
(24:18):
and he allowed more things and he would go, oh wait,
I remember this, right. But in real life, we don't
get to relive the day every day for like over
and over and over again. So what we end up
doing to protect ourselves, what we do to protect ourselves
(24:39):
is those experiences end up becoming stored in our memory,
stored in our hearts and in our bodies, and our
bodies tell us no, no, no, no, no, no no, you can't
do that. That's stranger danger, that is absolute danger. No,
thank you. Okay. What we have to do is when
(25:04):
we observe that, and when we feel that, we honor it.
We let it sit with us and we go okay,
all right, and then our minds will start to say
things and keep going and it makes things up and
(25:26):
some people say, well, no, I don't have that, and
you may not in a sense have that, But there
is where we relive our day and go, how could
I make that differently? That's where it's you know, some
people will go, well that's more what I do. Okay,
(25:47):
I get that. It's the same thing though, because we ruinate,
we stew on that. We we allow our lives to
kind of get steward like steered that way because of
our experiences. So allowing and releasing because again, when we release,
(26:18):
we allow our heart to open. And when we relinquish control,
is it hard? Yeah, it can be. It really can.
Like being in control all the time. It's like it's
(26:38):
almost like an addiction. Well, it is an actually it
is an addiction because we're addicted to be being in
control of our lives. We need to have that right,
that is that addiction. We so need that control because
(27:00):
why makes us feel safe. It makes us feel like
we know what we're doing and there's no room for uncertainty.
But when we decide, okay, this is not serving me anymore.
Feeling controlled or being controlling your life no longer serves me.
(27:23):
So how can I make this serve me? Right? So
we let go. We witness it, we see it, and
we start to let go. But what happens is our
bodies start to panic and it goes no, no, no, no no,
because again there's that uncertainty and the knowingness of what
(27:50):
our day to day is is gone. Whether or not
it's good or bad, it still is that. It's that addiction,
that's an addiction of knowing, and even if it's not
great for us at times, we get addicted to that
feeling of knowing and that knowing, even if there's a disappointment,
(28:13):
we also get addicted to that feeling, that emotion within us.
And if we don't have that or we start to
change ourselves, our bodies start to fight back and go,
whoa wait, wait, I'm not getting this hit. I'm not
getting the hit of you know, like I'm supposed to
feel bad now, why don't I feel bad? Okay, there's
(28:37):
something wrong, and so we start to switch right. The
best way though, to allow that and is really to
watch it and know that you're okay and just let
it be. It's it's not engaging with our mind or
(28:59):
our bodies. We take a few deep breaths. A great
way to figure this out really is spend some mindfulness,
going out in nature, spend time with yourself and understanding
really who you are. When we do that, it really
(29:21):
changes everything in our life. It's a game changer. It's
like meditation or prayer, if you will, even if it's
not your typical meditation. For example, me, I have busy days.
(29:42):
I'm in my car constantly driving with my children, and
so I sit in stillness at home right before bad
and I start doing a mantra. It's not really a mantra.
I start saying, I am that I am, and that
(30:05):
is enough. And it is a huge one because it
reminds you that you don't have to be perfect. There's
no perfect right. Even when I'm getting ready to do
podcasts for you guys, sometimes I get in my head
and it says, are you sure they're gonna like it?
(30:25):
And all all these things? Right? No one is perfect.
I'm not perfect. It's about going okay, I know I
can do this. I know, and I also believe in myself.
(30:46):
Spirit will come through people, will you know? Listen. So
I really do very much appreciate every single one of you.
I really do think you. Thank you so again. It's
it's about believing in you. So again. One mantra is
(31:09):
I am that I am and that is enough. And
for a lot of people we like to think, you know,
am I enough? Am I good? Enough? Am I? This?
Am I that? How does this work? I can't? You know?
(31:29):
Will people like me? How? And on that note, because
I realized I never gave you the name of this song,
So the lyrics again, we're open your plans and damn
you're free. Look into your heart and you'll find that
the sky is yours. So the name of the song
(31:53):
is I'm Yours by Jason sUAS or Maras Sorry, Jason Maraz,
I'm yours. Okay. So again, when we start to sit
in stillness, we can find two like we can find ourselves.
And it's not that we've lost ourselves. We haven't ever
(32:15):
lost ourselves. We find out who we are. We truly
get to know ourselves. Okay. And on that note, now
we're going to give some more love to our sponsors.
We'll be back into.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Doctor RC will share extraordinary resources and services that promote
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of children, adolescents, and teens of today. She will have
open discussions addressing many of the issues that we face
about our youth and how being employed in the uniquely
skilled profession of social work for over eighteen years has
(32:57):
taught invaluable lessons through her personal experiences. She will also
provide real life facts, examples, and personal stories that will
confirm that why serving as a child advocate is extremely
beneficial when addressing the needs of the whole child. Listen
Live to Dare to Soar Saturday's ten am Eastern on
the BBM Global Network and tune in radio as Doctor
(33:20):
RC will provide thought provoking information that will empower, encourage
and strengthen students, families and communities across our nation. You
can also visit her at soarwith Katie dot Com. Author,
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
(33:42):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins' new book, Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
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(34:05):
athletes get to the top of their sport with the
help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance that
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assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings that
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progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins My Strategy
(34:29):
Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network and
tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan Only on the
fold Brave TV network and I'm your host, John Widen.
We are talking about surrendering and letting go for the
break as talking about just allowing and breathing, letting it
all in knowing. So when we allow and let things go,
(35:04):
we actually open up a ton of possibilities to come
our way. So life changes for us. And when we
can also observe some of the craziness of our control
and just not allow it, like honor it and just
(35:27):
let it be and not engage in it, it starts
to open up. It opens up the change, and it
feels like it's uncertain and uncertainty is there, but you
start to feel the change, and in a sense, some
people will say it's like, how did you get so lucky?
(35:48):
And why are you so lucky all of a sudden,
And it's really because you've decided to relinquish the control
and you've opened yourself up up for the infinite possibilities
that can come your way. It really is that simple.
And I know they're like some of you might say, well,
(36:12):
but it's painful some of it. You're right, it is,
but the pain of it is really us fighting, fighting
it and not wanting to relinquish it. It's almost like
fighting even though you know you're wrong, we end up
(36:34):
fighting and where it's like picking our battles and we
keep battling it and battling it even though we now
we're wrong. But you know, we need to die on
this mountain why. I don't know, because I need to
be in control. I need to have the last say
I need, I need, I need instead of going okay,
(36:58):
I get it, I see you, huh. I don't necessarily
like this feeling, but I'm gonna sit with it and
I will and know that I'll be okay. Just like
when we're in a relationship. Some people always ask me
(37:19):
why about relationships? When will I find someone when can
I find a mate that will love me the way
I want to be loved? You'll again, you'll find a
meat the way that will love you the way you
will want to be loved is when you start respecting
and loving yourself that way and so that the energy
(37:41):
can broadcast that out to the world and they can
come to you. But remember it's it's it's that so
you start broadcasting it out. But when you get someone
come to you and there are signs, if you will,
(38:04):
where they're not being respectful to you or they're doing X,
I don't even like to put it out there, right,
we still say you stay, So what does that mean?
That's your scar and that's the experience from before where
(38:25):
we go. I remember this feeling, and this feeling is well,
this is how a relationship looks like. This is how
it's supposed to be because it's always been that way.
Remember that is something that you said that you didn't
want anymore, so we have to let go. It's that addiction.
(38:46):
It's that you know, it's part of the withdrawal process
where our body is protesting and it's going, no, we
need this drama, if you will, we need that emotional
hit even though that emotional hit is something that we
(39:06):
despise almost and you know we it breaks us, but
we need it because that's what we're used to. But
just because we're used to it doesn't mean it's good
for us. Right again, is it for your greatest high
(39:28):
as good? No, it doesn't serve you any longer. It's
time to just surrender and let it go. And again,
surrendering isn't saying yeah, go ahead, treat me like crap,
treat me like garbage. That's not what it is. It's
about going no, I'm gonna let you go, because why
(39:50):
because then we're allowing the door to be open for
someone new. We are no longer accepting those things. Yes,
do you see? So it's and even I say it
easily with relationships because a lot of people that's what
they're looking for. But so also before the break, I
(40:12):
was talking about people being lucky if you will, it's
the same thing. Years ago, someone told me they're like, Joan,
why do you have horseshoes up your ass? Why does
it always feel like whatever you want it just comes
to you? How is that possible? Why is that? Oh
(40:37):
my goodness, you just are a lucky person. You got
horseshoes up your butt, right, and being young, I was like,
what are you talking about? I don't I don't have this,
and you know, so I unfortunately I claimed it at
the time, and I went, what are you talking about?
Like I have these All these things happened for me
(41:00):
because of all the things that I do. Right. Again,
words are spouse and we have to honor that. And
so even though they called it luck I and I
didn't like it, I fought it right And again it's
about knowing that, okay, even though that's what they say,
(41:24):
it doesn't necessarily translate to how you feel okay. So
after I had proclaimed that, if you will, I found
that it was really hard for me to get things
and go places the way I used to do. I
gott in car accidents, I got like I you know,
(41:48):
had a harder time in colleges where I had teachers
tell me I'm Asian, so I am a cheater and
I Asian so English isn't my first language. Even though
it is like all these things right, like what happened
and I sat down afterwards, going what is going on?
(42:10):
Why is this? Like this? How is this? Then I realized,
you know what it was because I said, no, I'm
not lucky, and it's not about the luck. It was
about me closing myself off and going screw you, don't
tell me I'm not lucky. It just switched something in
(42:33):
my mind where I shut down the flow, the energy
flow of going in and out. So what I had
to do was go, you know what, I had to
be okay with the word lucky. Sometimes things we just
don't love because we feel like, well that's that's a
(42:57):
cop out. There's no such thing, right, Like, it's part
of our belief systems. Again, like everything comes back and
it comes back to you experiences, and these experiences can
be so profound and the moment I've realized why things
(43:18):
changed in my life, it was like in ah and
it went, oh I get it, I get it. I
proclaim that no. Like but even though yeah, like it's
okay to call things lucky, doors open, I can't I
admit that they actually do when it's fairly easy. I know,
(43:42):
like someone will say, okay, you're going downtown. It's gonna
you know, you're gonna have to take a little bit
more time, and I'm like, yeah, okay, and they're like,
well it's really hard to find parking, and I'm like, nah,
it's okay, I'll parking is a breeze downtown, you know.
And most people they'll say no, no, no, no, no,
it's not it's hard. It's really hard to find parking.
(44:03):
And for me, I'm like, no, parking, it will be
right there. So I get there sure enough. There's always one.
I always like to call it Rockstar parking because rockstar
I get one right outside the door every time. And
(44:25):
why because I know it's there, and do I hang
on to that now? So in fact the moment, I
am not being in the moment, and I'm thinking too much,
and I'm clinging onto the fact that, you know, I
really need that parking spot outside the door this time.
(44:47):
I need it. I need it, I need it. Guess
what I don't get that spot. Why? It's because you
hang on tight to it. We're hanging too close to
the outcome. It's about knowing that it's there. It's about
having faith, it's about following your intuition. It's being open
(45:14):
to receiving and then it just kind of drops into
your lap. It just allows and it's the most profound
thing ever. But again, like the moment I'm hanging on
to that. It's like, oh my goodness, I'm late. Okay,
all the lights need to be green, and I need
(45:35):
to have parking spot right outside. Guess what. Every light,
every light, I'm telling you, is red and parking at
the end of the parking spot lot right. So again
it's you can have what you want, but we can't
(45:55):
control it. We surrender to the universe and go, okay,
I know this is and it's about being grateful for
having it already and not being incessant in your mind
about needing it and having it. It's about being grateful
and going thank you. I get it. And even when
(46:19):
I'm driving somewhere and I have no clue and GPS
is kind of acting wonky because my phone does every
once in a while, and it's just because of spirits,
I just kind of go, okay, take me take me there, kay,
spirit Okay, God, kay, Universe, get me there, and it
(46:43):
will start. I will just start going certain spaces and
then I'm there and people are like, how did you
get here? I don't know, it just did. I just
don't even over question it anymore. It's just like I
asked and they delivered. So again, it's all about believing, knowing, accepting,
(47:10):
and being grateful for everything that comes your way, whether
it's a parking spot, whether it's people that come into
your life, whether it's getting free breakfast at a hotel
that doesn't offer breakfast, but you get free breakfast in
the morning because you decided to say hi and you said, hey,
(47:37):
can I get breakfast included with my night's day? And
they kind of look and they're like, actually, yeah, and
then it happens. Right. So there's all these different things
where once we start letting go and surrendering and practicing
practice practice about letting go and not and being so
(47:58):
grateful and just seeing and feeling here that it's already
happened and knowing right, it's most people say, well, if
you can see it, it will happen. Yes, But at
the same time, no, because that's only half of it.
(48:19):
You really need to believe it, see it, believe it
meaning fully, encompass it with your emotions. Okay, Now, at
that note, with emotions, we're gonna give some love to
our sponsors. We'll be back into.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or spouse?
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving. Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent but you're not sure how.
(49:00):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for The Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships, health, wellbeing,
and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying Generation are
(49:20):
on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus my caregiving library.
Online caregiver support programs and programs for corporations interested in
supporting working caregivers. Help, Hope and support for caregivers is
here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela d Wilson dot com.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Mike Zorich, a three time California state champion in Greco
Roman wrestling at one hundred and fourteen pounds. Mike blind
six birth, was born in Hartford, Connecticut. He was a
six time national placer, including two seconds, two thirds, and
two fourths. He also won the Veterans Folk Style Wrestling
(50:01):
twice at one hundred and fifty two pounds. In all
these tournaments, he was the only blind competitor. Nancy Zurich
a creative spirit whose talents have taken her to the
stage and into galleries and exhibitions in several states. Her father,
a commercial artist, who shared his instruments with his daughter
and helped her fine tune her natural abilities, influenced her
(50:24):
decision to follow in his footsteps. Miss Zurich has enjoyed
a fruitful career doing what she loves. Listen Saturday mornings
at twelve Eastern for the Nancy and Mike Show for
heartwarming stories and interesting talk on the BBM Global Network.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Welcome back. You're watching Journey with Joan only on the
World Brave TV Network, and I'm your host, Joan Widen.
Before the break, we were talking about feeling, how to
accept letting go and accept to allow new things to
come into your space. So the reason why we control
(51:09):
is to prevent certain experiences to keep coming back. But unfortunately,
when we control that, we end up calling back all
those experiences back. And we end up reliving all of
that all the time. So how you can practice to
(51:34):
allow this to come your way is through meditation, through stillness,
through getting out in nature, having spending time with yourself
so you can get to know yourself better. So a
lot of times some people say to me, too, Joan,
and I just don't want to be alone. I'm scared
(51:55):
to be alone. I'm just better person being in a relationship.
So most times I will say to them, actually, all
the times I say to them is well, you have
to get to know yourself. And when we resist stuff
(52:17):
for really we just resist things just for resisting things
are the things that we really have to look at
the most and we have to sit with it. And
a lot of times, I'm going to say, a lot
of my clients and a lot of my friends, they're like,
I don't I'm okay being alone, but I don't enjoy it.
(52:40):
I need to be with someone or out and about.
So I always tell them, okay, well, sit with yourself
and what is it that you hate about it? What
is it that you just can't handle being alone? And
(53:02):
when you can get honest with yourself and accept the
things that you don't like, and a lot of times
it's because when I'm alone, this is the answer. When
I'm alone alone, I think too much. I get in
my head too much, and I don't like how it
(53:25):
feels or it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. I don't know what
to do. I don't know what well, why why is
it uncomfortable? Figure out something to do? Okay, So there's
there's those things. Now let's go back to surrendering and
feeling and knowing. Okay. So yes, it's about visualizing. Yes,
(53:50):
it's about knowing that it's already come and it's here.
But it's about also themis motion, the emotion of really
understanding and wanting to like just feeling and emanating that
love without the attachment. So surrendering is knowing that you
(54:17):
already know and that because we are energetic bodies, we
are soul in this, in this physical body, we have
a knowing. But some people are like, but I don't
really know. It's not about physically having to know. We
(54:42):
have a knowing that's built in within ourselves, which is
like a beacon of light that just kind of goes
boob bobe, you know, like a sonar radar where the
energy just starts coming to us. But if we have
an attachment to it, that's when it goes wrong. Like
(55:05):
that goes that's where it goes away. Where you know
we're attached to an outcome, we're attached to it. We
have to, we need to. It absolutely has to you. Right,
So when you're surrendering, we're letting go, but we're also
knowing that it's there and the possibility is there. You
(55:26):
can see it, you can feel it. And once you've
seen it and you've honed in on it and you're like, yes,
I feel it, you just let go because it doesn't
matter how it comes. You don't need to know the directions.
You don't need to know how God, the Universe, Spirit,
(55:49):
your guides, Allah, Buddha will send it to you. It
doesn't matter it's coming. It is there. Be thankful, be grateful. Okay.
Another is when you see it and then your mind
(56:09):
or our body shutters and it goes. But we did
this before and it went terribly wrong. That is so
the reason why things go terribly wrong day to day
and it seems to persist is because our subconscious is
(56:34):
hanging on for dear life. They're hanging on to that
experience because they don't want it to happen. But when
we hang on to it so tightly, that experience can
only be there. That's the only experience that can be
there because we just make it happen. It just shows
(56:54):
up like that, and it really is because we feel it,
and it's it's like to our core, it's almost to
our bones because we've closed our eyes and we're witnessing it.
We're seeing it. And not only are we seeing it, our.
Speaker 4 (57:11):
Whole body has that emotion and it's like I remember
and that was, and that's.
Speaker 2 (57:21):
What makes it sit, That's what makes it stick. So
if we can do that for the negative, think about
what happens when you let go of that and you
start looking at the things of the different possibilities that
(57:45):
you want to attract to. You feel that you want
to be a golf player, but you keep telling yourself,
I can't play, and I can't play because I get
in my mind and guess what you get out on
(58:08):
the thing? You hit a few, they go out in
the tall grass or in the forest, or in the
in the sand, or in the pond. It just happens.
Why because we've already told ourselves it's about proclaiming. We
proclaim Like most times when we go out we're meeting
(58:30):
new people, we shake someone's hand and we say, hi,
my name is my name is Joan, right, and or
my name is Sally. Let's say that because I'm not
so my name is Jane. Nice to meet you. You know.
(58:54):
It's like we have to tell people our stories. We
have to tell them that, you know what, I'm kind
of sensitive and the sense of being I you know,
I have lots of anxiety. So sometimes I'm not able
to handle being in a room too long with a
lot of people. I don't like to go to the
mall blah blah blah blah blah blah. Right, So we
(59:16):
are giving ourselves this title. We are proclaiming this let
it go. That's not you. None of that stuff serves
us for our greatest high as good, it really doesn't.
What that happens and what that does to our physical
(59:37):
bodies is create havoc. It makes our bodies be exhausted,
Our bodies can no long like our bodies are constantly
in fight mode survival mode. What does it do? It
decreases our immune system. It allows stress to like ghibit
(01:00:00):
our body, and we're in heightened the levels of these
stress hormones and receptors, like our brain goes crazy, right,
So what does that do? It fatigues our body. So
then when we get sick and someone sneezes on us, boom,
(01:00:22):
you're sick. And it's of course you are because your
body can't handle it. It's been at a heightened state.
And then even if you like when you're sleeping again,
if you're still at this heightened stage, what does that do.
It can give you high blood pressure, it can give
(01:00:43):
you cardiac issues, it can lead to diseases, you name it.
It just our bodies can't handle all of that stress
all the time. So when we relinquish the control, we
actually you have way more control within our bodies. Our
(01:01:04):
bodies have time to recover and heal, and we can
accept and know that we are loved and we are
worthy of whatever the universe or what we would like. Now, again,
this is not just about physical material things. This is
(01:01:25):
about knowing you and being receptive to everything in anything
that's for your greatest, highest good. And on that note,
love yourselves, love you, have a great night. We are
(01:01:49):
out of time. I could talk about this all night
embracement feels his soul. You're watching Journey with Joan only
on the Bold Brave TV now Work. Have a good night, Oh, Fridays,
six pm Pacific, nine pm Eastern. Good night.
Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
This has been Journey with Joan with your host Joan Widen.
Tune in each week and start creating the life you deserve.
Here Fridays at nine pm Eastern on the Bold Brave
TV network
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