October 20, 2025 • 57 mins
I see that many people are blocked from achieving their goals because of limiting beliefs. These beliefs are often subconscious and learned from past experiences or negative self-talk. They can manifest as self-doubt, fear of failure, or a belief that you are not worthy of success. If you are struggling to achieve your goals, it is important to become aware of your limiting beliefs. Once you are aware of them, you can begin to challenge and change them. This can be done through journaling, meditation, or affirmations.
I believe that everyone is worthy of success and happiness. If you are willing to do the work, you can overcome your limiting beliefs and achieve your goals.
• Become aware of your beliefs. Pay attention to your thoughts and identify any negative or limiting beliefs.
• Challenge your beliefs. Once you are aware of your beliefs, start to question them. Are they really true? Is there evidence to support them?
• Replace negative beliefs with positive ones. Once you have identified your negative beliefs, replace them with positive affirmations.
• Take action. Once you have changed your beliefs, take action towards your goals.
Remember, it takes time and effort to change your beliefs. Be patient with yourself and don't give up. Everyone has the potential to achieve their dreams. If you are willing to do the work, you can overcome your limiting beliefs and create the life you want.
I believe that everyone is worthy of success and happiness. If you are willing to do the work, you can overcome your limiting beliefs and achieve your goals.
• Become aware of your beliefs. Pay attention to your thoughts and identify any negative or limiting beliefs.
• Challenge your beliefs. Once you are aware of your beliefs, start to question them. Are they really true? Is there evidence to support them?
• Replace negative beliefs with positive ones. Once you have identified your negative beliefs, replace them with positive affirmations.
• Take action. Once you have changed your beliefs, take action towards your goals.
Remember, it takes time and effort to change your beliefs. Be patient with yourself and don't give up. Everyone has the potential to achieve their dreams. If you are willing to do the work, you can overcome your limiting beliefs and create the life you want.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Journey with Joan, a podcast hosted by Joan Widen,
a medium, waki master, and mind body spirit coach. Join
Joan on the transformative journey as she empowers listeners to
embrace their future, let go of the past, and create
a fulfilling life. Are you ready to embark on your
(00:28):
own journey of self discovery? Please welcome the host of
Journey with Joan, Joan.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Widen, Welcome. I'm so happy and grateful to join you tonight.
Tonight we are going to be talking about belief patterns
and what they can do to us, how they prevent
(00:56):
us from moving forward and getting what we want, and
actually believe patterns can rehabit in our lives in anything,
even in our personal lives, you name it, any even
decision making, it can happen. And it is one of
those things where we go, okay, we don't even realize
(01:23):
that it actually does it because they're so deep seated
within us that we don't even realize that they're there.
It's a subconscious thing. Most of us would say, you
know what, I'm over it. That happened in my childhood.
No big deal, it doesn't matter. But I'm going to
(01:44):
tell you, unless we've sat with it and honored that
piece of us, it still exists in that within our body.
And it also you get this little voice in your
head that says, we want to protect ourselves and this
is how it's going to be done, and we don't
(02:06):
even know it. It's one of those automatic things that
goes on in our head and then it's done, all right.
So belief patterns, what are they? They are things that
we accepted in our lives, whether we were taught it
by our parents, or we did something and we want,
(02:27):
ooh okay that we don't like how that felt, so
then we then put it in our bank of memories
to go, okay, we need to protect ourselves from that
moment or those kind of decisions. Right. So then that's
how a belief comes in sometimes, so they are here
(02:49):
to protect us. Sometimes they are our preconceived notions, They
are judgments, They are just perceptions sometimes because sometimes when
we were young and little and we bought it and
sold it to ourselves, these perceptions decide to how can
(03:13):
I say, They decide to set up residents in our hour,
within our space, and then we just accept it. When
we accept it as the word kind of like God
said that, or you know, my parents said that, So
(03:33):
it's absolutely one thousand percent true. And how many things
did our parents tell us that were true? But they
said it because they wanted us to listen to them
or be safe, even though they knew it was a
blatant lie, all right, And so some things like that
(03:56):
get stuck within our bodies, and unknowingly we make decisions
around those and subconscious thoughts. All right. Sometimes it's a
reminder of the past. What else, So how can we
see it? So when a great example would be if
(04:21):
you were to people watch with a friend, you know,
you go to a coffeehouse and you're like, hey, let's
let's have a let's play a game where we look
at another table and we talk about you be that person,
I'll be the other person. And then you have the conversation.
I bet you they're saying this, right, and you're going
(04:43):
back and forth, back and forth. You can tell with
some of your perceptions and your things belief patterns of
what you've accepted within your life because they come out
in weird circumstances like that, right, So whether they're judgments,
(05:03):
it's like look at that lady she's walking, she looks
like she is unhappy, she's you know, she clearly doesn't
know what's going on in her life. Right, So we
are perceiving, we are pushing our judgments on that person,
whether or not. Maybe she's deep in thought and she's like, Okay,
(05:25):
I have to worry about this, this and this. I
had to have all this stuff done. But from the
outside looking in, we look at her her train of
thought as broken, say right, so then if we think
about that, naturally, we could also say it that is
(05:48):
about us. Right. So these belief patterns, most times are
whenever we say something about someone else. So you point
fingers at someone else, you've got three fingers pointing back
at you. So typically when we create that within ourselves
(06:09):
and we start judging other people and saying they did that,
they they they, you have to sometimes take a step back, right,
And sometimes it doesn't happen right away. We go home
at night and then we start to think and unwind
and think about our day and how everything played out,
(06:33):
and sometimes it comes to us and we go WHOA, Okay,
So we that perception that I pushed onto someone else
in a certain conversation where I blamed someone or I
took a push to blame to someone else because I
(06:54):
didn't want to take it for me. I felt like
I didn't want to take it from me, Well why should?
Why should I? A lot of times we take things
and we're like, well, I don't want to be the
one at fault, right, because if I'm at fault, well
then I'm a bad person. I'm then I would have
(07:16):
to accept that blame. And a lot of times accepting
the blame is really really hard for every single person,
even though you know I sometimes taking it on accepting
the blame, it isn't bad, right. But when we were kids,
(07:39):
every time our parents would be like, who did that?
Was it you? Was it you? I even point to
the dog, right, and the dog's looking at like it
wasn't me. But you know, sometimes the children will go, yeah,
it was a jog. He eat whatever my homework, right,
so I didn't get my homework done, or he ate
(07:59):
your food food. In fact, it was the children that
eat your food, right. So it's all these things where
everything to be honest about was always a bad thing
because we thought we would get in trouble, and no
one likes to be in trouble. Because the feeling of
being in trouble feels ouchy, feels unwanted. No one wants
(08:25):
to love someone that doesn't follow the rules. But what
are the rules if we want to go by that?
What are rules? Exactly right? There are no rules. Rules
really are in our life? There are rules, yes, right,
(08:51):
get married, you say all these you know, you have
your vows and those are the those are the rules, right.
But in the game of life a lot of times rules,
rules are set as boundaries for some people. They're not
necessarily clear cut, right, And boundaries. Boundaries are good, they're
(09:17):
they're for you, they're for everyone. But you know, sometimes
those boundaries are our boundaries that we've created for ourselves
that because we feel that someone else wants us to
act and behave a certain way. Right. And in the
(09:40):
world today, for our children, the younger people, it's it's
it's better for when we were younger. When I was younger,
I should say, there was always what are people going
to think? What are the neighbors going to think? You're
you're a girl? Happy Women's International Day, by the way,
(10:04):
you know, so you know, we've come a long way.
We empower each other. Now it's being part of the sisterhood,
being part of a group of sisters wanting to help
each other, boost each other up. Right, in the last
one we talked, I talked about competition. We are not
(10:29):
competing with others. We actually compete with ourselves and competing again,
here's that sisterhood and even the men, our brothers, right,
our husbands. It's not about competing with them. It's about
being ourselves, our authentic selves, and being the best that
(10:52):
we can to make our world and the world around
us better. Okay, let me see wekay beliefs again. Beliefs
create fears within ourselves. We It is one of those
(11:18):
things where it's so hard to understand and so complicated.
We make it complicated to want to let it go,
even though a lot of times it's like, well have
you tried to do it? Even like to let that
fear go, But it's so hard because we're so scared
(11:39):
of the unknown. But you know, feel the fear and
do it. Anyways, I know everyone's like, don't that's easy
for you to say. You know you can do this,
You've got you're talking on a podcast and you know
you have no problems doing that. But I assure you
if someone I have told me five years ago this
(12:01):
is what I'd be doing, I would have probably laughed
in their face and said, yeah right, this is not
I like to kind of hide and be in the background,
and here I am out in front of all of
you guys, and I actually like it. It's great. It's still
scary a little bit. I get nervous, as you could
(12:26):
probably tell. And we're going into all these things and
talking about private things. Times. It just is a lot
of putting myself out right. And sometimes that's what you
(12:47):
have to do in order to allow and to move
forward and to be authentically you. And this, for example,
I know I'm supposed to talk about helping people grow
and show them how to open be accepting, understand that
(13:12):
they're intuition and allowing them to know that it's okay
and it's not just for the woo woo or a
weird like gypsy breed of people that you know, we
do have intuition within us and that it's okay to
(13:37):
listen to our bodies. We have to go on a
quick break. You're watching Journey with Joan on the Bold
Brave TV network and we'll be back after these messages
in two minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
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Speaker 2 (16:00):
And we're back. You're watching Journey with Joan and I'm
Joan Widen, the host. Thank you for tuning in tonight.
All right again, let's let's get back to the topic
of belief patterning and how it can let's actually talk
about how it can interrupt our relationships. So our relationship
(16:22):
with ourselves or with others, these personal beliefs. So a
lot of times our beliefs can be really hard on us. Right,
And we've you know, everyone's seen Pinocchio and Jimny Cricket, Right,
So Jimmy Cricket's sitting there talking to Pinocchio. He's like
(16:42):
his consciousness or subconscious telling him what to do, and
when you watch it, it's not necessarily so the subconscious
says this is the right way to do it, but
he goes the opposite or the subconscious actually says something
and it's actually not in fact the best thing for
(17:05):
Pinocchio at the time. Okay, So when these belief patterns
come up, so basically, how when we were young, and
let's say we felt we didn't get enough love and
attention from our parents, right, or from any authority figure
(17:31):
like that we deemed to be super close to, right,
So if we didn't get enough attention, we would do
certain things so that we would get the attention, right,
And sometimes that attention isn't the best way to receive attention. Okay.
So then fast forward thirty years. You're now an adult.
(17:56):
You're trying to figure you trying to get into a relationship.
You're trying to love, honor your partner, right, your partner,
your spouse, your relationship. You know, I can't remember all
the different terms, right, So you're trying to keep that
(18:20):
relationship and you're trying to be close to them and
you start saying things that are not necessarily nice. But
that's but that's your way of trying of showing love,
right because you because when you were younger, that's how
(18:41):
you got the love back, right, So it was more
of a be the naughty side until we start to
figure out, hey, that that doesn't really quite work. And
I'm going to tell you a lot of people by this,
you know, in your thirties, you're you're going to say say, okay,
well that's just silliness, and you know, the bachelor's staff
(19:04):
or the stay you know, the single woman side of
you go okay, yeah, that I totally get right. But
then if you felt abandoned, right, you again would be
more clingy and you would say, I, you know, I
want more. I just want more, right, like, come see me,
(19:24):
I want to be with you, I want, I want,
I want, I want. And it's not necessarily We're listening
to our partner, our spouse, right, and we want, we
just want, and we're trying to explain to them what
we need to feel loved. But in turn, they can
(19:50):
sometimes perceive it as well, it's all about you. You're
making it about you. You you what about me like
I I want something, you know what I mean? Like
I need my space, I need all these things, so
back and forth. All of a sudden there is a
(20:11):
kind of a tug of war on what each other needs.
So we and as hard as this is, we almost
need to take a step back and go, Okay, well,
what is it? What is it that triggers me to
believe that if you don't spend enough time with me,
that means you don't love me? Right, And a lot
(20:35):
of times that's not the case. Maybe you know, when
you're first dating and they're not compatible with you, that
is the case. And but you know, at those moments
you get to start, you know, all your belief systems
about hey, they're going to leave me, They're going to
you know, be you know they're always they're into someone else.
(20:59):
Do you think that they're seeing someone else? What about
are they being faithful? Like, how do I know they're
really into me? Joan Right? A lot of people ask, well,
how do I know? How do you know? How can
I make him stay with me? So first off, you
(21:21):
can't make anyone stay with you, like you just can't, right,
So we have to communicate, right, and sometimes we over communicate,
especially if we feel like we were abandoned as child,
we didn't get enough love, so we over communicate and
then the person we're dating goes, WHOA, that's too much right,
(21:47):
way too much, way too soon. I'm not quite sure
we're there yet, right, and so the people So there's
that push pull right, And so if you get paired
up with that, like say if you're online dating and
then you go on the first date and one person's
(22:07):
very kind of standoffish and you know, like take things slow,
and the other ones all of a sudden, like I
love you, let's get married. Right, what's gonna happen. It's
like water and oil. You're gonna separate. One person's gonna
get upset and the other person's gonna go, okay, this
is crazy. Right. So a lot of times the things
(22:32):
that we feel like always happens to us, we actually attract. Right.
So if you always feel like people always leave me,
people you know, people are mean, they're always gonna leave me,
you know, guess what you're manifesting that that person. You know,
(22:53):
you're just gonna start picking the wrong people because the
wrong you know, you're gonna look at them and even
though you don't do it on purpose, Subconsciously, your mind goes,
we don't want to get hurt, so we're gonna pick
whoever it is, and because we know that they will
(23:15):
probably leave us, and so I'll be right and I
can keep in my little bubble and just fefe right.
So a lot of times when someone comes to me
and says, hey, I always seem to find you know,
people are always leaving me. I can't seem to find
the right person. How can I find this person? They
(23:38):
don't exist. Everyone's assholes. All they want is, you know,
tearse and leave, et cetera. Right, So the first thing
I say is, okay, let's take a deep breath, let's
grount what do you really want? What is this? Okay?
And the patterns that you have showed me and told
(23:59):
me about what you've done in order to get that
relationship show that you give way too much all at once,
instead of allowing things to slowly marinate and let things
progress naturally, instead of a lot just just why I'm
(24:21):
hitting them, like with a truck with everything you got,
just hoping it, you know, like you can grab them
and say I'm gonna love you and squeeze you and
call you George. Right, we all don't know that in
the cartoon, or that you love you let go of
the poor cat. So you know when one does that,
(24:45):
the other person's reaction is to go, whoa, get away
from me. Right, So again we allow ourselves, right, and
we want everyone to love us, so we just blah
blah blah blah blah blah. Right, So it's take a
step back, relax, allow things to marinate and talk and
(25:09):
you can see, right, And it's not that everyone that
you're matched with is going to be a perfect match
with you, right, just allow now you know, are there
gonna be assholes? Yes? Are there gonna be ladies that
just want to use yeah? Right, it doesn't matter, ladies'
(25:29):
men doesn't matter. Right. There are people, some people out
there that that's their style and that's what they feel
they need at this moment is short, non committal right
relationship and that's okay, Right, we can't judge what they need.
(25:50):
That's what they think they need, and that's okay. Wow
for you. If that's not what you want, you go
thank you, this is not what I am looking for,
and then you start over again. Does that mean they
abandoned you and that you can't find anyone that's good
for you. No, it doesn't. Okay, As for finding love
(26:11):
and saying I can't find anyone if you don't put
your heart out on the line and wear it on
your sleeve a little bit, does it mean you're gonna
get hurt? Yes, but you won't be able to find
that love unless you actually were like, show your heart.
And unfortunately that is a risk that we all need
(26:35):
to take, because you can't find love if you want
to hide your own love. Right. It starts within us.
If we love ourselves, you know, and we are the
worst person to ourselves to be nice to ourselves. All
we do is like, oh my goodness, I this was bad.
(26:58):
This was bad. I can't believe I did this. I
can't believe I did that, you know, nat or nod
or nater Right, And again, if we weren't, if we
were our friends, we wouldn't be friends with ourselves most times. Right,
So when that happens again, you take a step back,
you take a deep breath, and you go okay, no,
(27:19):
thank you, but no, and okay, stop does that just
because I feel like that wasn't a very good thing,
or I didn't do well in something. Does it mean
I actually did it? Does it mean that it was
actually wrong? No, it's a perception and I felt like
(27:40):
it wasn't perfect in the way that I felt and
perceived it should be right. So we have to cut
ourselves a break and just allow and it's okay. Right,
we are allowed to make mistakes. We are human. That's
how we learn and we grow, all right. So let's
(28:01):
say for a career path people want to grow. Some
people say, Joan, I want to be a C suite right,
what are you doing to advance yourself in that? Okay,
there's so many different things in our career that we
need to understand and believe. Do you like your CEOs?
(28:28):
Do you like any of the C suite people? Do
you love your job? Right? Sometimes it's as easy as
that loving what you're doing. If you don't love what
you do, it's kind of hard to get to the top, right,
because the top that means you got to spend some
(28:50):
at your time. Possibly maybe you don't. Right. We're going
to continue this conversation after the short break. Your journey
with Joan on the Bold Brave TV Network.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Did you know that your beliefs create your entire reality,
but it's the subconscious beliefs that do most of the creating.
Belief shifter and life coach Sharaz can help you identify
those limiting beliefs and eliminate them, often in a single session.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Like it was almost instant, Like I had relief right away.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Creating better, help relationships, careers, and finances. Let Sharaz help
you step out of safety and into awareness.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Definitely, something's happening. It's like a flow inside good.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Whether in person or online. Sharaz provides personal coaching belief shifting.
Visit Charras at Energeticmagic dot com or call four one
six five to nine seven four two nine Energetic Magic
on the BBM Global Network Tuesdays at seven pm Eastern.
Find your greater happiness, Be well, be aware, be magical.
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Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse.
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
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adult who wants to remain independent, but you're not sure how.
(30:27):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
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health wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(30:50):
my Caregiving library, online caregiver support programs and programs for
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Speaker 2 (31:08):
Welcome back. I'm John Whiting with Journey with Joan. Thank
you for tuning in and sticking with me. We are
talking about how belief patterns can disrupt our lives. So
before the break, I was talking about advancing in our career.
(31:30):
How do we advance in our career? What can we
do right? So a lot of people ask me, Joan,
I want to be a C suite? How can I
get there? What am I doing? I'm working my heart,
my darmst to get there, but I can't seem to
break past management. Okay, So then first thing I asked them,
(31:53):
do you love your job? Well, you know it's okay,
Well okay, if you don't love your job, how are
you supposed to move right? Because when we love something,
it's going to be natural. It's going to be natural
for us to move forward. And sometimes when we love it,
actually when you you know, you want to move forward,
but you're not necessarily loving your job. But all they
(32:19):
all you know is the end game where you want
to be higher, so you overcompensate by giving so much.
So you're going and you're giving, You're giving, you're giving,
you know, and a lot of times you to tell
you employers they look at that and go, why would
we advance them? They're giving us the management work, but
(32:48):
yet you know we're paying them at a lower wage.
And I'm not saying that all employers do that, but
it's also a mindset, right, everyone ever, company has a budget,
Everyone has different things that they have to worry about.
And if a manager has an employee that's working ten
(33:13):
times harder than anyone else and they're making them look
really good, they can take a lot of the credit
and allow them just to be there. Right, they can
give them a little bit of a raise they can
do you see what I mean. So when you love something,
that's great, But if you don't really love it, but
(33:35):
you're only looking at the actual endgame, sometimes we overcompensate
and a lot of times less is more. Right. We
need to value ourselves in order to grow and get higher. Again,
that can stem from I didn't get enough attention or
(33:57):
enough love when I was younger. Right to prove it,
because I want them, my parents to be proud of me.
What am I going to do. I'm going to do
everything in my power to do so much things so
that they can be happy with me. They can be
proud of me. They can you know, they'll shower me
(34:19):
with praises. And you know, so it's that can be tough.
So I'll tell you when I was little, I got
told a lot that I talked too much. Right, and
so as an adult, when I was in a job,
(34:40):
you know someone would go or hey, try and not
allow the customer to talk to you long. So because
we got to make sure that you only spend X
amount of time on the phone. Because you got to
get to the next customer. Right. So I worked at
a call center where everything was tim and you could
(35:02):
see because it would start flashing red if you were
talking too long and people are waiting in the queue
and taking too long, and we would get in trouble. Right.
So again it was talking too long and oh my goodness, right,
I'm going to get in trouble, right, and it's all
these things that goes. It's all alarm bells and everything.
(35:24):
Never mind that maybe the customer needed the extra attention
because their case was more complicated. Right, Everything was I
need to get off the phone because I talked too much.
That's a bad thing, right. So after that I was
(35:48):
able to go Actually, yes, I own that I do
talk too much. I like to talk right. And if
you know me and we get to be close, we
can have conversations for hours. It's great. But you know,
it doesn't mean it's bad. But at the same time,
(36:12):
if we're done talking about something, then we're done. It's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that. In my sessions with someone else,
private session, if I'm talking to you and the hour
is up, but I'm not done talking to you because
spirit has other things they need to talk to you.
(36:33):
Guess what, I won't go all right, it's an hour,
we're done. Well, you know I'll still talk to you.
Will I go on forever?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
But I won't leave anyone hanging. And so I just
needed to accept for me that, yeah, okay, maybe that
was true. I did talk a lot, but doesn't mean
it was a bad thing. So again, what my main
thing for people is is look for those jobs, look
(37:07):
for advancement. Love what you do. If you don't love
what you do, it's gonna be really hard for you
to move in the C suite? Right, do you love
your CEO? Do you know people that are CEOs, c fos,
ce oos, whatever. Do you know people that are in
(37:29):
those roles? And do you like those people? Do those
people inspire you to be what they are? Because I'm
gonna tell you if they do not, and you think,
oh man, are they ever fucking assholes? Why would you
(37:50):
want to be in that spot? Does that make sense?
A lot of times our mind if we think that
person's a fucking asshole, are subconscious and our belief systems
will prevent us from going there. Why Because we don't
(38:10):
want to be that asshole? Right? I don't want to
be an ass right, So our bodies and our minds
protect us from going there. Right. So we got to
know that if those people are not very nice people,
that's okay, right, as long as you know that that
(38:35):
person isn't going to be someone that what's it called
that you're aspiring to be? Right, you can be the change, right,
and you can make being as CEO, COO, CFO see whatever, right, president,
(39:00):
You can make that be authentically you because you can
be a nice person, you can be all these things right.
But sometimes when we perceive that person that CEO COO whatever,
and they're not very nice, we've all run into those right,
(39:21):
and it's so hard to get out of the oh
my god account believe, oh I want to chest right,
So it's hard to really get into wanting to advance
that way. Right. But when we know that we won't
(39:41):
be that and really know to the core, and we
can see it and go, you know what, I want
to be that change I want to know and I
feel in my heart that when I get there, I
will be completely different. And if you have lee and
not be a job like be friends with that person,
(40:05):
that is that way sometimes, So be it right, because
again that prevents you from moving up. And I know
it sounds really weird, but deep down, you know, it
comes back to bite us to say, but I don't
want to be that person, right, But we have to
(40:27):
tell ourselves but we are not that person. I am
me right. And again, sometimes when we tell people I'm
going to be a CEO one day, and some people
are like, what, why would you think that? Why would
you do that? You don't have this, you don't have that,
you know like, and so people start shaming and people
(40:48):
tell you you can't do that. Sometimes for some people
that's great, Like me, when I was told that when
I was younger, I go, screw you. I will show
you and I will do it. And when I do it,
(41:11):
I will I'll just I'll just do it, you know
what I mean. I don't even need to go see
I told you so, because I'll just do it and
then that will be enough of that I told you so. Right.
But there's other people that go. When some people say that,
it really hurts them, right, and it hurts them right
(41:33):
to the core to their soul, and that when they
start climbing and they try and do that, that prevents
them from actually moving forward. As well, right, because in
their head they keep hearing that person's voice. I'm not going,
you know, why do you think you can do this?
You don't have that education, you don't have this, you
(41:56):
don't have that. And there's a lot of people within
secure that go, you're right, they're right. Oh my god. Right,
I don't know if I can do that. Maybe they're correct, right,
instead of thinking and feeling within themselves, why do I
(42:17):
need to have that education? I know certain people right,
like you know Bill Gates dropout, right, I think Meta
guy I can't remember his name, but Zuckerberg I believe
he was also he might have been. Maybe he did finish.
(42:39):
I don't know. Right, again, look at these people you
would never know and does it matter? Doesn't matter. They
are all doing well. Right, So we all have to
just know that if we want something and we strive
for it, we just have to just go for it.
(43:01):
And I know there's fear, but it doesn't matter because
you know you the best and if you want it,
it's just right there. It's up to you to just
pick it right, take it and grab it and take
it for yourself. Right. The universe is abundant. The universe
(43:22):
wants to see us thrive. The universe is very forgiving
and they want us to be profitable, happy, successful, just thrive.
They want us to be authentically us. Right, all right,
(43:43):
it's time again to go on a short break. You're
watching Journey with Joan. We'll be right back after these messages.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Author, radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins strategies
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins new book Coached to Greatness Unlock Your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
(44:15):
reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes the
book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the
best athletes get to the top of their sport with
the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance
that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover
and assess their core values, philosophies and competencies, find settings
(44:39):
that allow them to be the most productive, and track
their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John hawkins My
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
and tune in radio. What if there were a super
tiny device that could diagnose the brain and is smaller
(45:01):
than a single human hair. What if you could see
inside the brain to help an epilepsy patient during surgery,
or to help the fight against Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia
Brodrick is proud to announce the Broaderickprobe, a biomedical and
electronic breakthrough imagine a probe to help with the understanding
(45:23):
and potential cure of brain related diseases. To learn more,
listen live to the Easy Sense Radio Show with host
Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's seven pm Eastern on the Bold Brave
Media Network and tune in radio. And to help support
the Broadrick Foundation, please go to easysense dot com and
(45:44):
learn how with your help we can fight these horrific
brain disorders. That's easysense dot com to learn more and
help support the Broaderick Foundation.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
And we're back. Thank you for joining me this. I
am Joan Whyden with Journey with Joan. All Right, so
my absolute favorite we were talking about before about people
shaming us or telling us, why can we do that?
Why you know you can't do this, you can't do
that because again that's their own perceptions, and people throw
(46:19):
their perceptions and judgments at us, and as an individual
and a soul being, we have to say, no, I
don't accept that, But a lot of times we do
accept it and we buy it, and then we have
you know, negative Nelly Jimmy Cricket here beside us going ooh,
(46:41):
they said, I don't know if I can do that.
But my absolute favorite what people have told me was
who do you think you are? Right? And so when
I was younger, I was like when I was a child,
every time someone said that to me, I would I
(47:03):
would feel confused because I'd be like, I'm Joan, right,
And I didn't I had a different last name then.
But you know, if someone said that to me i'd
be today, I'd be like, I'm Joan Widen, Like what
are you talking about? Right? But that was the biggest thing,
and I to this day, I think it's hilarious. When
(47:24):
someone asked me who do you think you are? I
always look at them and say, I'm Joan and I'm
Joan Widen. Who do you who are you? Like? I
don't understand what that question, what that means because I'm
Joan Wyden and I'm proud to be Joan Widen, right,
and so it doesn't matter again, like, why is that
(47:47):
a bad thing? When someone says that to you, It's
not a bad thing. It really isn't right, It's like,
who do you think you are? I'm Joan Widen and
I'm proud of it. And you know what, I know
I can do a ton of things. Is it scary
at times fucking lately, But sometimes we just need to
strive and go forward and do our best. And you
(48:10):
know what, if we feel a little bit of fear,
you know what, that just means we are moving forward.
Because if we feel like, yes, I'm super confident, right,
we can be confident and feel a little bit of fear,
that's okay. But if we feel comfortable and confident, typically
(48:31):
that just means we're stagnant. We're staying still, we're living
in the past because we've known we've done that. Right,
Like even tonight with the podcast, I did last week's
right and I was a bit nervous and we had
technical difficulties all this stuff, right, So tonight same thing.
There was a little bit of a blip, but whatever, right,
(48:53):
I felt confident of I know what I was doing tonight.
But at the same time time a lot of things,
there's still a little bit of fear, and that's okay.
There's it's okay to have some fear. Fear is healthy.
Being super scared not so much. Right, So we feel
the fear, we do it anyways. Right, that's a book,
(49:14):
that's a saying, that's a journey. Right, we are allowed, right,
so allow us to be us because we again, the
universe is abundant. They're going to allow us to be
us authentically. And when we shine within ourselves to be
(49:37):
authentically us, the world will see us as who we
are and we will grow. Right, There's no reason for
you not to grow when you are mean to yourself
and really kind of try and hide like I did
all a lot of my years because it was scary
(50:00):
to come out and be hey, I can speak to
dead people. Right, You'll look at you like, holy, you're
kind of crazy. Right, So allow and just be an
authentically do and things just start to show up in
your life because you know what the universe wants you
(50:20):
to thrive, they will allow. Just like if you want
to be that CEO see the C suites, right, if
that's what you aspire to do, you will get there, right.
Just make sure you're moving towards that, right, So apply
for jobs that make you to go higher. Right, and
(50:42):
then after that, Okay, great, you've learned that you've done that,
you've been that manager, start applying again at another thing.
And some people have said, but jon't I feel like
I'm being inauthentic about that, And I'm like, okay, but
what have you done and what have you shown have
like in your last job? Have you do you have
(51:05):
employees under you? Have you done all these things? And
the answer is yes, And I'm like, okay, so then
tell me in that job description, what isn't true that
you can't do nothing? Okay, So why do you think
you can't do that? Does that make sense? So you
slowly grow? How do you grow by getting experience, by
(51:26):
getting yourself out there, putting yourself out there in order
to get into that position. I'm going to tell you
the people that are in those positions right now did
not wake up and go yay halayua literally i am
a CEO. Right. Sometimes it happens, it does, but most
(51:48):
times they have grown into those right. Sometimes you wake
up and you go, yeah, I'm going to have my
own company. Guess what you can give yourself? The titles
yield right, that works too anyways, So with these and
then I'm gonna slowly touch on the little bit touch
(52:11):
on the health part, on how our perceptions and shame
and everything can like affect our health. Again, when we
allow other peoples to shame us or talk down to us,
it creates unnecessary and undue stress in our bodies, right,
because again it's a toxic feeling, and that energy gets
(52:35):
stuck to us, right, and it starts eating away, right,
And we can't shut down at night, you know, because
you know so and so said, I can't believe you're
doing this. Why do you think you do can do this? Right? So,
then when we put our head down and go to rest,
(52:58):
all we if we're concerned about what other people think.
And by the way, someone told me this a while ago,
and I'm like, this is the best thing ever. It's
none of your business what other people think of you, right,
The only businesses is what you think of you. When
(53:19):
you can learn to accept that and honor that within yourself,
a lot of things will change for you. Right. And
when you say you know what you're right it's none
of my business what other people think of me. Life
just gets so much better because you won't care. You know,
(53:40):
You'll go dancing in the street, doesn't matter who cares,
you know what, someone might join you, right, dance it
out and you can feel more relaxed and great and
just allow right and just be authentically you and just
shine because it really doesn't matter, doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Right,
(54:04):
we want to be and I want you to be
you and allow yourself to be happy, right, and stop
the natterer. And when that matter is so loud that
you can't allow it, like you feel like you can't
shut it off, right, you just go stop right, say
(54:27):
it out loud. And if it keeps doing it and
you say stop right, and then your body kind of
like it's almost like slapping yourself in the face and going, Okay,
you're right. Why am I saying this to myself? There's
no reason for it, right, there's no failure, Like there's
(54:49):
no failure. Failure is a perception that we put on ourselves. Right.
It just means maybe we didn't get there today, but
there's still you know, tomorrow, But I'm going to tell
you tomorrow never comes. So we must live for today,
(55:12):
and so in order to change our beliefs and perceptions
about ourselves, it's one minute by minute, one minute at
a time, one hour at a time, right, and we
slowly change things so we can better ourselves and we
(55:35):
can love ourselves, and we can change our person about
who we are. Right, we are not losers. We are happy.
We are happy people that need to love ourselves be
more grateful to ourselves because we've come a long ways
from when we were children and from where we actually
(55:56):
grew up from. Right, we are totally different people and
we need to be in love with ourselves so we
can be happy and healthy and spread happy, healthy thoughts
to other people. All Right, we are out of time
(56:18):
this week. Thank you very much for sticking it out
with me and watching and being here. I'm so happy
and grateful to have you all. If you have any questions,
please send me a message and I will answer your questions,
or you can always call in. Thank you so very
much and I'll see you next week on the Bold
(56:41):
Brave TV network at nine pm Eastern seven pm Mountain Time.
Thank you for watching This is Journey with Joan, and
I'm Joan. O. Widen.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
This has been journey with Joan. With your host Joan Widen,
tune in each week and start creating the life you deserve.
Here Fridays at nine pm Eastern on the Bold Brave
TV network
Welcome to Journey with Joan, a podcast hosted by Joan Widen,
a medium, waki master, and mind body spirit coach. Join
Joan on the transformative journey as she empowers listeners to
embrace their future, let go of the past, and create
a fulfilling life. Are you ready to embark on your
(00:28):
own journey of self discovery? Please welcome the host of
Journey with Joan, Joan.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Widen, Welcome. I'm so happy and grateful to join you tonight.
Tonight we are going to be talking about belief patterns
and what they can do to us, how they prevent
(00:56):
us from moving forward and getting what we want, and
actually believe patterns can rehabit in our lives in anything,
even in our personal lives, you name it, any even
decision making, it can happen. And it is one of
those things where we go, okay, we don't even realize
(01:23):
that it actually does it because they're so deep seated
within us that we don't even realize that they're there.
It's a subconscious thing. Most of us would say, you
know what, I'm over it. That happened in my childhood.
No big deal, it doesn't matter. But I'm going to
(01:44):
tell you, unless we've sat with it and honored that
piece of us, it still exists in that within our body.
And it also you get this little voice in your
head that says, we want to protect ourselves and this
is how it's going to be done, and we don't
(02:06):
even know it. It's one of those automatic things that
goes on in our head and then it's done, all right.
So belief patterns, what are they? They are things that
we accepted in our lives, whether we were taught it
by our parents, or we did something and we want,
(02:27):
ooh okay that we don't like how that felt, so
then we then put it in our bank of memories
to go, okay, we need to protect ourselves from that
moment or those kind of decisions. Right. So then that's
how a belief comes in sometimes, so they are here
(02:49):
to protect us. Sometimes they are our preconceived notions, They
are judgments, They are just perceptions sometimes because sometimes when
we were young and little and we bought it and
sold it to ourselves, these perceptions decide to how can
(03:13):
I say, They decide to set up residents in our hour,
within our space, and then we just accept it. When
we accept it as the word kind of like God
said that, or you know, my parents said that, So
(03:33):
it's absolutely one thousand percent true. And how many things
did our parents tell us that were true? But they
said it because they wanted us to listen to them
or be safe, even though they knew it was a
blatant lie, all right, And so some things like that
(03:56):
get stuck within our bodies, and unknowingly we make decisions
around those and subconscious thoughts. All right. Sometimes it's a
reminder of the past. What else, So how can we
see it? So when a great example would be if
(04:21):
you were to people watch with a friend, you know,
you go to a coffeehouse and you're like, hey, let's
let's have a let's play a game where we look
at another table and we talk about you be that person,
I'll be the other person. And then you have the conversation.
I bet you they're saying this, right, and you're going
(04:43):
back and forth, back and forth. You can tell with
some of your perceptions and your things belief patterns of
what you've accepted within your life because they come out
in weird circumstances like that, right, So whether they're judgments,
(05:03):
it's like look at that lady she's walking, she looks
like she is unhappy, she's you know, she clearly doesn't
know what's going on in her life. Right, So we
are perceiving, we are pushing our judgments on that person,
whether or not. Maybe she's deep in thought and she's like, Okay,
(05:25):
I have to worry about this, this and this. I
had to have all this stuff done. But from the
outside looking in, we look at her her train of
thought as broken, say right, so then if we think
about that, naturally, we could also say it that is
(05:48):
about us. Right. So these belief patterns, most times are
whenever we say something about someone else. So you point
fingers at someone else, you've got three fingers pointing back
at you. So typically when we create that within ourselves
(06:09):
and we start judging other people and saying they did that,
they they they, you have to sometimes take a step back, right,
And sometimes it doesn't happen right away. We go home
at night and then we start to think and unwind
and think about our day and how everything played out,
(06:33):
and sometimes it comes to us and we go WHOA, Okay,
So we that perception that I pushed onto someone else
in a certain conversation where I blamed someone or I
took a push to blame to someone else because I
(06:54):
didn't want to take it for me. I felt like
I didn't want to take it from me, Well why should?
Why should I? A lot of times we take things
and we're like, well, I don't want to be the
one at fault, right, because if I'm at fault, well
then I'm a bad person. I'm then I would have
(07:16):
to accept that blame. And a lot of times accepting
the blame is really really hard for every single person,
even though you know I sometimes taking it on accepting
the blame, it isn't bad, right. But when we were kids,
(07:39):
every time our parents would be like, who did that?
Was it you? Was it you? I even point to
the dog, right, and the dog's looking at like it
wasn't me. But you know, sometimes the children will go, yeah,
it was a jog. He eat whatever my homework, right,
so I didn't get my homework done, or he ate
(07:59):
your food food. In fact, it was the children that
eat your food, right. So it's all these things where
everything to be honest about was always a bad thing
because we thought we would get in trouble, and no
one likes to be in trouble. Because the feeling of
being in trouble feels ouchy, feels unwanted. No one wants
(08:25):
to love someone that doesn't follow the rules. But what
are the rules if we want to go by that?
What are rules? Exactly right? There are no rules. Rules
really are in our life? There are rules, yes, right,
(08:51):
get married, you say all these you know, you have
your vows and those are the those are the rules, right.
But in the game of life a lot of times rules,
rules are set as boundaries for some people. They're not
necessarily clear cut, right, And boundaries. Boundaries are good, they're
(09:17):
they're for you, they're for everyone. But you know, sometimes
those boundaries are our boundaries that we've created for ourselves
that because we feel that someone else wants us to
act and behave a certain way. Right. And in the
(09:40):
world today, for our children, the younger people, it's it's
it's better for when we were younger. When I was younger,
I should say, there was always what are people going
to think? What are the neighbors going to think? You're
you're a girl? Happy Women's International Day, by the way,
(10:04):
you know, so you know, we've come a long way.
We empower each other. Now it's being part of the sisterhood,
being part of a group of sisters wanting to help
each other, boost each other up. Right, in the last
one we talked, I talked about competition. We are not
(10:29):
competing with others. We actually compete with ourselves and competing again,
here's that sisterhood and even the men, our brothers, right,
our husbands. It's not about competing with them. It's about
being ourselves, our authentic selves, and being the best that
(10:52):
we can to make our world and the world around
us better. Okay, let me see wekay beliefs again. Beliefs
create fears within ourselves. We It is one of those
(11:18):
things where it's so hard to understand and so complicated.
We make it complicated to want to let it go,
even though a lot of times it's like, well have
you tried to do it? Even like to let that
fear go, But it's so hard because we're so scared
(11:39):
of the unknown. But you know, feel the fear and
do it. Anyways, I know everyone's like, don't that's easy
for you to say. You know you can do this,
You've got you're talking on a podcast and you know
you have no problems doing that. But I assure you
if someone I have told me five years ago this
(12:01):
is what I'd be doing, I would have probably laughed
in their face and said, yeah right, this is not
I like to kind of hide and be in the background,
and here I am out in front of all of
you guys, and I actually like it. It's great. It's still
scary a little bit. I get nervous, as you could
(12:26):
probably tell. And we're going into all these things and
talking about private things. Times. It just is a lot
of putting myself out right. And sometimes that's what you
(12:47):
have to do in order to allow and to move
forward and to be authentically you. And this, for example,
I know I'm supposed to talk about helping people grow
and show them how to open be accepting, understand that
(13:12):
they're intuition and allowing them to know that it's okay
and it's not just for the woo woo or a
weird like gypsy breed of people that you know, we
do have intuition within us and that it's okay to
(13:37):
listen to our bodies. We have to go on a
quick break. You're watching Journey with Joan on the Bold
Brave TV network and we'll be back after these messages
in two minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
What if there were a super tiny device that could
diagnose the brain and is smaller than a single human hair.
What if you could see inside the brain to help
an epilepsy patient during surgery, or to help the fight
against Parkinson's disease. Doctor Patricia Brodrick is proud to announce
the Broadrick Probe, a biomedical and electronic breakthrough imagine a
(14:19):
probe to help with the understanding and potential cure of
brain related diseases. To learn more, listen live to the
Easy Sense Radio Show with host Doctor Brodrick Wednesday's seven
pm Eastern on the Bold Brave Media Network and tune
in radio. And to help support the Broadrick Foundation, please
(14:40):
go to easysense dot com and learn how with your
help we can fight these horrific brain disorders. That's easysense
dot com to learn more and help support the Broaderick Foundation. Author,
radio show host and coach John M. Hawkins reveals strategies
(15:02):
to help gain perspective, build confidence, find clarity, achieve goals.
John M. Hawkins' new book, Coached to Greatness Unlock your
Full Potential with Limitless Growth, published by I Universe, Hawkins
reveals strategies to help readers accomplish more. He believes the
book can coach them to greatness. Hawkins says that the
(15:25):
best athletes get to the top of their sport with
the help of coaches, mentors, and others. He shares guidance
that helps readers reflect on what motivates them. We discover
and assess their core values, philosophies, and competencies, find settings
that allow them to be the most productive, and track
their progress towards accomplishing goals. Listen to John Hawkins My
(15:48):
Strategy Saturdays one pm Eastern on the BBM Global Network
and tune in radio.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
And we're back. You're watching Journey with Joan and I'm
Joan Widen, the host. Thank you for tuning in tonight.
All right again, let's let's get back to the topic
of belief patterning and how it can let's actually talk
about how it can interrupt our relationships. So our relationship
(16:22):
with ourselves or with others, these personal beliefs. So a
lot of times our beliefs can be really hard on us. Right,
And we've you know, everyone's seen Pinocchio and Jimny Cricket, Right,
So Jimmy Cricket's sitting there talking to Pinocchio. He's like
(16:42):
his consciousness or subconscious telling him what to do, and
when you watch it, it's not necessarily so the subconscious
says this is the right way to do it, but
he goes the opposite or the subconscious actually says something
and it's actually not in fact the best thing for
(17:05):
Pinocchio at the time. Okay, So when these belief patterns
come up, so basically, how when we were young, and
let's say we felt we didn't get enough love and
attention from our parents, right, or from any authority figure
(17:31):
like that we deemed to be super close to, right,
So if we didn't get enough attention, we would do
certain things so that we would get the attention, right,
And sometimes that attention isn't the best way to receive attention. Okay.
So then fast forward thirty years. You're now an adult.
(17:56):
You're trying to figure you trying to get into a relationship.
You're trying to love, honor your partner, right, your partner,
your spouse, your relationship. You know, I can't remember all
the different terms, right, So you're trying to keep that
(18:20):
relationship and you're trying to be close to them and
you start saying things that are not necessarily nice. But
that's but that's your way of trying of showing love,
right because you because when you were younger, that's how
(18:41):
you got the love back, right, So it was more
of a be the naughty side until we start to
figure out, hey, that that doesn't really quite work. And
I'm going to tell you a lot of people by this,
you know, in your thirties, you're you're going to say say, okay,
well that's just silliness, and you know, the bachelor's staff
(19:04):
or the stay you know, the single woman side of
you go okay, yeah, that I totally get right. But
then if you felt abandoned, right, you again would be
more clingy and you would say, I, you know, I
want more. I just want more, right, like, come see me,
(19:24):
I want to be with you, I want, I want,
I want, I want. And it's not necessarily We're listening
to our partner, our spouse, right, and we want, we
just want, and we're trying to explain to them what
we need to feel loved. But in turn, they can
(19:50):
sometimes perceive it as well, it's all about you. You're
making it about you. You you what about me like
I I want something, you know what I mean? Like
I need my space, I need all these things, so
back and forth. All of a sudden there is a
(20:11):
kind of a tug of war on what each other needs.
So we and as hard as this is, we almost
need to take a step back and go, Okay, well,
what is it? What is it that triggers me to
believe that if you don't spend enough time with me,
that means you don't love me? Right, And a lot
(20:35):
of times that's not the case. Maybe you know, when
you're first dating and they're not compatible with you, that
is the case. And but you know, at those moments
you get to start, you know, all your belief systems
about hey, they're going to leave me, They're going to
you know, be you know they're always they're into someone else.
(20:59):
Do you think that they're seeing someone else? What about
are they being faithful? Like, how do I know they're
really into me? Joan Right? A lot of people ask, well,
how do I know? How do you know? How can
I make him stay with me? So first off, you
(21:21):
can't make anyone stay with you, like you just can't, right,
So we have to communicate, right, and sometimes we over communicate,
especially if we feel like we were abandoned as child,
we didn't get enough love, so we over communicate and
then the person we're dating goes, WHOA, that's too much right,
(21:47):
way too much, way too soon. I'm not quite sure
we're there yet, right, and so the people So there's
that push pull right, And so if you get paired
up with that, like say if you're online dating and
then you go on the first date and one person's
(22:07):
very kind of standoffish and you know, like take things slow,
and the other ones all of a sudden, like I
love you, let's get married. Right, what's gonna happen. It's
like water and oil. You're gonna separate. One person's gonna
get upset and the other person's gonna go, okay, this
is crazy. Right. So a lot of times the things
(22:32):
that we feel like always happens to us, we actually attract. Right.
So if you always feel like people always leave me,
people you know, people are mean, they're always gonna leave me,
you know, guess what you're manifesting that that person. You know,
(22:53):
you're just gonna start picking the wrong people because the
wrong you know, you're gonna look at them and even
though you don't do it on purpose, Subconsciously, your mind goes,
we don't want to get hurt, so we're gonna pick
whoever it is, and because we know that they will
(23:15):
probably leave us, and so I'll be right and I
can keep in my little bubble and just fefe right.
So a lot of times when someone comes to me
and says, hey, I always seem to find you know,
people are always leaving me. I can't seem to find
the right person. How can I find this person? They
(23:38):
don't exist. Everyone's assholes. All they want is, you know,
tearse and leave, et cetera. Right, So the first thing
I say is, okay, let's take a deep breath, let's
grount what do you really want? What is this? Okay?
And the patterns that you have showed me and told
(23:59):
me about what you've done in order to get that
relationship show that you give way too much all at once,
instead of allowing things to slowly marinate and let things
progress naturally, instead of a lot just just why I'm
(24:21):
hitting them, like with a truck with everything you got,
just hoping it, you know, like you can grab them
and say I'm gonna love you and squeeze you and
call you George. Right, we all don't know that in
the cartoon, or that you love you let go of
the poor cat. So you know when one does that,
(24:45):
the other person's reaction is to go, whoa, get away
from me. Right, So again we allow ourselves, right, and
we want everyone to love us, so we just blah
blah blah blah blah blah. Right, So it's take a
step back, relax, allow things to marinate and talk and
(25:09):
you can see, right, And it's not that everyone that
you're matched with is going to be a perfect match
with you, right, just allow now you know, are there
gonna be assholes? Yes? Are there gonna be ladies that
just want to use yeah? Right, it doesn't matter, ladies'
(25:29):
men doesn't matter. Right. There are people, some people out
there that that's their style and that's what they feel
they need at this moment is short, non committal right
relationship and that's okay, Right, we can't judge what they need.
(25:50):
That's what they think they need, and that's okay. Wow
for you. If that's not what you want, you go
thank you, this is not what I am looking for,
and then you start over again. Does that mean they
abandoned you and that you can't find anyone that's good
for you. No, it doesn't. Okay, As for finding love
(26:11):
and saying I can't find anyone if you don't put
your heart out on the line and wear it on
your sleeve a little bit, does it mean you're gonna
get hurt? Yes, but you won't be able to find
that love unless you actually were like, show your heart.
And unfortunately that is a risk that we all need
(26:35):
to take, because you can't find love if you want
to hide your own love. Right. It starts within us.
If we love ourselves, you know, and we are the
worst person to ourselves to be nice to ourselves. All
we do is like, oh my goodness, I this was bad.
(26:58):
This was bad. I can't believe I did this. I
can't believe I did that, you know, nat or nod
or nater Right, And again, if we weren't, if we
were our friends, we wouldn't be friends with ourselves most times. Right,
So when that happens again, you take a step back,
you take a deep breath, and you go okay, no,
(27:19):
thank you, but no, and okay, stop does that just
because I feel like that wasn't a very good thing,
or I didn't do well in something. Does it mean
I actually did it? Does it mean that it was
actually wrong? No, it's a perception and I felt like
(27:40):
it wasn't perfect in the way that I felt and
perceived it should be right. So we have to cut
ourselves a break and just allow and it's okay. Right,
we are allowed to make mistakes. We are human. That's
how we learn and we grow, all right. So let's
(28:01):
say for a career path people want to grow. Some
people say, Joan, I want to be a C suite right,
what are you doing to advance yourself in that? Okay,
there's so many different things in our career that we
need to understand and believe. Do you like your CEOs?
(28:28):
Do you like any of the C suite people? Do
you love your job? Right? Sometimes it's as easy as
that loving what you're doing. If you don't love what
you do, it's kind of hard to get to the top, right,
because the top that means you got to spend some
(28:50):
at your time. Possibly maybe you don't. Right. We're going
to continue this conversation after the short break. Your journey
with Joan on the Bold Brave TV Network.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Did you know that your beliefs create your entire reality,
but it's the subconscious beliefs that do most of the creating.
Belief shifter and life coach Sharaz can help you identify
those limiting beliefs and eliminate them, often in a single session.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Like it was almost instant, Like I had relief right away.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Creating better, help relationships, careers, and finances. Let Sharaz help
you step out of safety and into awareness.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Definitely, something's happening. It's like a flow inside good.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Whether in person or online. Sharaz provides personal coaching belief shifting.
Visit Charras at Energeticmagic dot com or call four one
six five to nine seven four two nine Energetic Magic
on the BBM Global Network Tuesdays at seven pm Eastern.
Find your greater happiness, Be well, be aware, be magical.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Are you struggling to care for elderly parents or a spouse.
Do you wonder if being a caregiver is making you sick?
Are you worried about taking time off work to care
for elderly parents and balance work life and caregiving? Has
caregiving become exhausting and emotionally draining? Are you an aging
adult who wants to remain independent, but you're not sure how.
(30:27):
I'm Pamela d Wilson. Join me for the Carrying Generation
radio show for caregivers and aging adults Wednesday evenings, six Pacific,
seven Mountain, eighth Central, and nine Eastern, where I answer
these questions and share tips for managing stress, family relationships,
health wellbeing and more. Podcasts and transcripts of The Carrying
Generation are on my website Pamela Dwilson dot com, plus
(30:50):
my Caregiving library, online caregiver support programs and programs for
corporations interested in supporting working caregivers, help, hope and support
for caregivers here on The Carrying Generation and Pamela Dwilson
dot com.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Welcome back. I'm John Whiting with Journey with Joan. Thank
you for tuning in and sticking with me. We are
talking about how belief patterns can disrupt our lives. So
before the break, I was talking about advancing in our career.
(31:30):
How do we advance in our career? What can we
do right? So a lot of people ask me, Joan,
I want to be a C suite? How can I
get there? What am I doing? I'm working my heart,
my darmst to get there, but I can't seem to
break past management. Okay, So then first thing I asked them,
(31:53):
do you love your job? Well, you know it's okay,
Well okay, if you don't love your job, how are
you supposed to move right? Because when we love something,
it's going to be natural. It's going to be natural
for us to move forward. And sometimes when we love it,
actually when you you know, you want to move forward,
but you're not necessarily loving your job. But all they
(32:19):
all you know is the end game where you want
to be higher, so you overcompensate by giving so much.
So you're going and you're giving, You're giving, you're giving,
you know, and a lot of times you to tell
you employers they look at that and go, why would
we advance them? They're giving us the management work, but
(32:48):
yet you know we're paying them at a lower wage.
And I'm not saying that all employers do that, but
it's also a mindset, right, everyone ever, company has a budget,
Everyone has different things that they have to worry about.
And if a manager has an employee that's working ten
(33:13):
times harder than anyone else and they're making them look
really good, they can take a lot of the credit
and allow them just to be there. Right, they can
give them a little bit of a raise they can
do you see what I mean. So when you love something,
that's great, But if you don't really love it, but
(33:35):
you're only looking at the actual endgame, sometimes we overcompensate
and a lot of times less is more. Right. We
need to value ourselves in order to grow and get higher. Again,
that can stem from I didn't get enough attention or
(33:57):
enough love when I was younger. Right to prove it,
because I want them, my parents to be proud of me.
What am I going to do. I'm going to do
everything in my power to do so much things so
that they can be happy with me. They can be
proud of me. They can you know, they'll shower me
(34:19):
with praises. And you know, so it's that can be tough.
So I'll tell you when I was little, I got
told a lot that I talked too much. Right, and
so as an adult, when I was in a job,
(34:40):
you know someone would go or hey, try and not
allow the customer to talk to you long. So because
we got to make sure that you only spend X
amount of time on the phone. Because you got to
get to the next customer. Right. So I worked at
a call center where everything was tim and you could
(35:02):
see because it would start flashing red if you were
talking too long and people are waiting in the queue
and taking too long, and we would get in trouble. Right.
So again it was talking too long and oh my goodness, right,
I'm going to get in trouble, right, and it's all
these things that goes. It's all alarm bells and everything.
(35:24):
Never mind that maybe the customer needed the extra attention
because their case was more complicated. Right, Everything was I
need to get off the phone because I talked too much.
That's a bad thing, right. So after that I was
(35:48):
able to go Actually, yes, I own that I do
talk too much. I like to talk right. And if
you know me and we get to be close, we
can have conversations for hours. It's great. But you know,
it doesn't mean it's bad. But at the same time,
(36:12):
if we're done talking about something, then we're done. It's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that. In my sessions with someone else,
private session, if I'm talking to you and the hour
is up, but I'm not done talking to you because
spirit has other things they need to talk to you.
(36:33):
Guess what, I won't go all right, it's an hour,
we're done. Well, you know I'll still talk to you.
Will I go on forever?
Speaker 3 (36:45):
No?
Speaker 2 (36:46):
But I won't leave anyone hanging. And so I just
needed to accept for me that, yeah, okay, maybe that
was true. I did talk a lot, but doesn't mean
it was a bad thing. So again, what my main
thing for people is is look for those jobs, look
(37:07):
for advancement. Love what you do. If you don't love
what you do, it's gonna be really hard for you
to move in the C suite? Right, do you love
your CEO? Do you know people that are CEOs, c fos,
ce oos, whatever. Do you know people that are in
(37:29):
those roles? And do you like those people? Do those
people inspire you to be what they are? Because I'm
gonna tell you if they do not, and you think,
oh man, are they ever fucking assholes? Why would you
(37:50):
want to be in that spot? Does that make sense?
A lot of times our mind if we think that
person's a fucking asshole, are subconscious and our belief systems
will prevent us from going there. Why Because we don't
(38:10):
want to be that asshole? Right? I don't want to
be an ass right, So our bodies and our minds
protect us from going there. Right. So we got to
know that if those people are not very nice people,
that's okay, right, as long as you know that that
(38:35):
person isn't going to be someone that what's it called
that you're aspiring to be? Right, you can be the change, right,
and you can make being as CEO, COO, CFO see whatever, right, president,
(39:00):
You can make that be authentically you because you can
be a nice person, you can be all these things right.
But sometimes when we perceive that person that CEO COO whatever,
and they're not very nice, we've all run into those right,
(39:21):
and it's so hard to get out of the oh
my god account believe, oh I want to chest right,
So it's hard to really get into wanting to advance
that way. Right. But when we know that we won't
(39:41):
be that and really know to the core, and we
can see it and go, you know what, I want
to be that change I want to know and I
feel in my heart that when I get there, I
will be completely different. And if you have lee and
not be a job like be friends with that person,
(40:05):
that is that way sometimes, So be it right, because
again that prevents you from moving up. And I know
it sounds really weird, but deep down, you know, it
comes back to bite us to say, but I don't
want to be that person, right, But we have to
(40:27):
tell ourselves but we are not that person. I am
me right. And again, sometimes when we tell people I'm
going to be a CEO one day, and some people
are like, what, why would you think that? Why would
you do that? You don't have this, you don't have that,
you know like, and so people start shaming and people
(40:48):
tell you you can't do that. Sometimes for some people
that's great, Like me, when I was told that when
I was younger, I go, screw you. I will show
you and I will do it. And when I do it,
(41:11):
I will I'll just I'll just do it, you know
what I mean. I don't even need to go see
I told you so, because I'll just do it and
then that will be enough of that I told you so. Right.
But there's other people that go. When some people say that,
it really hurts them, right, and it hurts them right
(41:33):
to the core to their soul, and that when they
start climbing and they try and do that, that prevents
them from actually moving forward. As well, right, because in
their head they keep hearing that person's voice. I'm not going,
you know, why do you think you can do this?
You don't have that education, you don't have this, you
(41:56):
don't have that. And there's a lot of people within
secure that go, you're right, they're right. Oh my god. Right,
I don't know if I can do that. Maybe they're correct, right,
instead of thinking and feeling within themselves, why do I
(42:17):
need to have that education? I know certain people right,
like you know Bill Gates dropout, right, I think Meta
guy I can't remember his name, but Zuckerberg I believe
he was also he might have been. Maybe he did finish.
(42:39):
I don't know. Right, again, look at these people you
would never know and does it matter? Doesn't matter. They
are all doing well. Right, So we all have to
just know that if we want something and we strive
for it, we just have to just go for it.
(43:01):
And I know there's fear, but it doesn't matter because
you know you the best and if you want it,
it's just right there. It's up to you to just
pick it right, take it and grab it and take
it for yourself. Right. The universe is abundant. The universe
(43:22):
wants to see us thrive. The universe is very forgiving
and they want us to be profitable, happy, successful, just thrive.
They want us to be authentically us. Right, all right,
(43:43):
it's time again to go on a short break. You're
watching Journey with Joan. We'll be right back after these messages.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
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Speaker 2 (45:58):
And we're back. Thank you for joining me this. I
am Joan Whyden with Journey with Joan. All Right, so
my absolute favorite we were talking about before about people
shaming us or telling us, why can we do that?
Why you know you can't do this, you can't do
that because again that's their own perceptions, and people throw
(46:19):
their perceptions and judgments at us, and as an individual
and a soul being, we have to say, no, I
don't accept that, But a lot of times we do
accept it and we buy it, and then we have
you know, negative Nelly Jimmy Cricket here beside us going ooh,
(46:41):
they said, I don't know if I can do that.
But my absolute favorite what people have told me was
who do you think you are? Right? And so when
I was younger, I was like when I was a child,
every time someone said that to me, I would I
(47:03):
would feel confused because I'd be like, I'm Joan, right,
And I didn't I had a different last name then.
But you know, if someone said that to me i'd
be today, I'd be like, I'm Joan Widen, Like what
are you talking about? Right? But that was the biggest thing,
and I to this day, I think it's hilarious. When
(47:24):
someone asked me who do you think you are? I
always look at them and say, I'm Joan and I'm
Joan Widen. Who do you who are you? Like? I
don't understand what that question, what that means because I'm
Joan Wyden and I'm proud to be Joan Widen, right,
and so it doesn't matter again, like, why is that
(47:47):
a bad thing? When someone says that to you, It's
not a bad thing. It really isn't right, It's like,
who do you think you are? I'm Joan Widen and
I'm proud of it. And you know what, I know
I can do a ton of things. Is it scary
at times fucking lately, But sometimes we just need to
strive and go forward and do our best. And you
(48:10):
know what, if we feel a little bit of fear,
you know what, that just means we are moving forward.
Because if we feel like, yes, I'm super confident, right,
we can be confident and feel a little bit of fear,
that's okay. But if we feel comfortable and confident, typically
(48:31):
that just means we're stagnant. We're staying still, we're living
in the past because we've known we've done that. Right,
Like even tonight with the podcast, I did last week's
right and I was a bit nervous and we had
technical difficulties all this stuff, right, So tonight same thing.
There was a little bit of a blip, but whatever, right,
(48:53):
I felt confident of I know what I was doing tonight.
But at the same time time a lot of things,
there's still a little bit of fear, and that's okay.
There's it's okay to have some fear. Fear is healthy.
Being super scared not so much. Right, So we feel
the fear, we do it anyways. Right, that's a book,
(49:14):
that's a saying, that's a journey. Right, we are allowed, right,
so allow us to be us because we again, the
universe is abundant. They're going to allow us to be
us authentically. And when we shine within ourselves to be
(49:37):
authentically us, the world will see us as who we
are and we will grow. Right, There's no reason for
you not to grow when you are mean to yourself
and really kind of try and hide like I did
all a lot of my years because it was scary
(50:00):
to come out and be hey, I can speak to
dead people. Right, You'll look at you like, holy, you're
kind of crazy. Right, So allow and just be an
authentically do and things just start to show up in
your life because you know what the universe wants you
(50:20):
to thrive, they will allow. Just like if you want
to be that CEO see the C suites, right, if
that's what you aspire to do, you will get there, right.
Just make sure you're moving towards that, right, So apply
for jobs that make you to go higher. Right, and
(50:42):
then after that, Okay, great, you've learned that you've done that,
you've been that manager, start applying again at another thing.
And some people have said, but jon't I feel like
I'm being inauthentic about that, And I'm like, okay, but
what have you done and what have you shown have
like in your last job? Have you do you have
(51:05):
employees under you? Have you done all these things? And
the answer is yes, And I'm like, okay, so then
tell me in that job description, what isn't true that
you can't do nothing? Okay, So why do you think
you can't do that? Does that make sense? So you
slowly grow? How do you grow by getting experience, by
(51:26):
getting yourself out there, putting yourself out there in order
to get into that position. I'm going to tell you
the people that are in those positions right now did
not wake up and go yay halayua literally i am
a CEO. Right. Sometimes it happens, it does, but most
(51:48):
times they have grown into those right. Sometimes you wake
up and you go, yeah, I'm going to have my
own company. Guess what you can give yourself? The titles
yield right, that works too anyways, So with these and
then I'm gonna slowly touch on the little bit touch
(52:11):
on the health part, on how our perceptions and shame
and everything can like affect our health. Again, when we
allow other peoples to shame us or talk down to us,
it creates unnecessary and undue stress in our bodies, right,
because again it's a toxic feeling, and that energy gets
(52:35):
stuck to us, right, and it starts eating away, right,
And we can't shut down at night, you know, because
you know so and so said, I can't believe you're
doing this. Why do you think you do can do this? Right? So,
then when we put our head down and go to rest,
(52:58):
all we if we're concerned about what other people think.
And by the way, someone told me this a while ago,
and I'm like, this is the best thing ever. It's
none of your business what other people think of you, right,
The only businesses is what you think of you. When
(53:19):
you can learn to accept that and honor that within yourself,
a lot of things will change for you. Right. And
when you say you know what you're right it's none
of my business what other people think of me. Life
just gets so much better because you won't care. You know,
(53:40):
You'll go dancing in the street, doesn't matter who cares,
you know what, someone might join you, right, dance it
out and you can feel more relaxed and great and
just allow right and just be authentically you and just
shine because it really doesn't matter, doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Right,
(54:04):
we want to be and I want you to be
you and allow yourself to be happy, right, and stop
the natterer. And when that matter is so loud that
you can't allow it, like you feel like you can't
shut it off, right, you just go stop right, say
(54:27):
it out loud. And if it keeps doing it and
you say stop right, and then your body kind of
like it's almost like slapping yourself in the face and going, Okay,
you're right. Why am I saying this to myself? There's
no reason for it, right, there's no failure, Like there's
(54:49):
no failure. Failure is a perception that we put on ourselves. Right.
It just means maybe we didn't get there today, but
there's still you know, tomorrow, But I'm going to tell
you tomorrow never comes. So we must live for today,
(55:12):
and so in order to change our beliefs and perceptions
about ourselves, it's one minute by minute, one minute at
a time, one hour at a time, right, and we
slowly change things so we can better ourselves and we
(55:35):
can love ourselves, and we can change our person about
who we are. Right, we are not losers. We are happy.
We are happy people that need to love ourselves be
more grateful to ourselves because we've come a long ways
from when we were children and from where we actually
(55:56):
grew up from. Right, we are totally different people and
we need to be in love with ourselves so we
can be happy and healthy and spread happy, healthy thoughts
to other people. All Right, we are out of time
(56:18):
this week. Thank you very much for sticking it out
with me and watching and being here. I'm so happy
and grateful to have you all. If you have any questions,
please send me a message and I will answer your questions,
or you can always call in. Thank you so very
much and I'll see you next week on the Bold
(56:41):
Brave TV network at nine pm Eastern seven pm Mountain Time.
Thank you for watching This is Journey with Joan, and
I'm Joan. O. Widen.
Speaker 1 (56:57):
This has been journey with Joan. With your host Joan Widen,
tune in each week and start creating the life you deserve.
Here Fridays at nine pm Eastern on the Bold Brave
TV network
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