August 20, 2025 • 11 mins
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (also known as Alice in Wonderland) is an 1865 English children's novel by Lewis Carroll, a mathematics don at the University of Oxford. It details the story of a girl named Alice who falls through a rabbit hole into a fantasy world of anthropomorphic creatures. It is seen as an example of the literary nonsense genre.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There was a table set out under the tree in
front of the house, and the march Hare and the
hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse was sitting
between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using
it as a cushion, resting their elbows upon it and
talking over its head. Very uncomfortable for the dormouse, thought Alice.
As it's only a sleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.
(00:22):
The table was a large one, but the three were
all crowded together at one corner of it. Now room,
now roam, they cried out when they saw Alice come in.
There's plenty of room, Alice said indignantly, and she sat
down on a large armchair at one end of the table.
Have someome wine, the march hare said, in an encouraging tone.
(00:44):
Alice looked all around the table, but there was nothing
on it but tea. I don't see any wine, she remarked, Mary,
isn't any, said the march Hair. Then it wasn't very
civil of you to offer it, Alice said angrily. It
wasn't very simple of you to sit down without being invited,
said the march Hare. I didn't know it was your table,
said Alice. It's laid for a great many more than three.
(01:06):
Your hair, what's cutting? Said the hatter. He'd been looking
at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this
was his first speech. You should learn not to make
personal remarks, Sallie said, with some severity. It's very rude.
The hatter opened his eyes wide on hearing this, but
all he said was why is a raven like a
writing desk? Oh? Come, we shall have some fun now,
(01:28):
thought Alice. I'm glad they've begin asking riddles. I believe
I can guess that, She added aloud. Do you mean
that you think you can turn out the answer to it,
said the march Hare. Exactly so, said Alice. Then you
should say what you mean. The march Hare went on,
I do, Alice hastily replied, at least at least I
(01:48):
mean what I say. That's the same thing you know,
Not the same thing a bit, said the hatter. Why
you might as well say that I'll see what I
eat is the same thing as I eat what I see,
you may as well say, added the mark chair. Then
I like what I get. It's the same thing as
our gain. Would I like? Ah, you might as well say,
added the dormouse, which seemed to be talking in his sleep,
(02:10):
that I breathe when I sleep. It's the same thing
as I sleep. When I breathe, it is the same
thing with you, said the hatter. And here the conversation dropped,
and the party sat silent for a minute while Anna
has thought over all she could remember about ravens and
writing desks, which wasn't much. The hatter was the first
(02:30):
to break the silence. What day of the month is it?
He said, turning to Alice. He had taken his watch
out of his pocket and was looking at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and again and holding it to
his ear. Alice considered a little and then said the
fourth Ha ha, two days wrong, sighed the hatter. I
told you, butter wouldn't suit the works, he said, looking
(02:52):
angrily at the march hair in wisdom based matter. The
march hare meekly replied, yes, but some of the crumbs
must have got as well. The hatter grumbled, you shouldn't
have put it in with a bread knife. The march
hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily. Then
he dipped into his cup of tea. Then he dipped
it into his cup of tea and looked at it again.
(03:13):
But he could think of nothing better to say than
his first remark. It was the best batter, you know.
Alice has been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
What a funny watch, she remarked. It tells the day
of the month and doesn't tell what o'clock it is.
Why should it, muttered the hatter. Does your watch tell
you what year it is? Of course not, Alice replied readily.
(03:37):
Now that's because it stays the same year for such
a long time together, which is just the case with mine,
said the hatter. Alice felt dreamily puzzled. The hatter's remarks
seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it,
and yet was certainly English. I don't quite understand you,
she said, politely as she could. The dormouse is asleep again,
(03:58):
said the hatter, as he poured a little hot tea
upon its nose. The dormouse shook its head impatiently and said,
without opening its eyes. Of course, of course, yes, what
I was going to remark myself. Have you guessed the
riddle yet, the hatter said, turning to Alice again, No,
I give it up. Replied Alice, what's the answer. Having
(04:19):
the slightest idea, said the hatter, Nor I said the
march Hare. Alice sighed wearily. I think you might do
something better with your time, she said, wasting it and
asking riddles that have no answers. If you knew time
as well as I do, said the hatter, you wouldn't
talk about wasting it. It's him. I don't know what
(04:42):
you mean, said Alice. Now, of course you don't, have, said,
tossing his head contemptuously. I dare say you've never even
spoke to time. Well, perhaps not, Alice cautiously replied. But
I do know I have to beat time when I
learn music. Oh that accounts for it, said the hatter.
He won't stand beating either. Now, if you only kept
(05:04):
on good turns with him, he to us anything you
liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it was nine
o'clock in the morning, just a time to begin lessons.
You'd only have to whisper a hint to time, and
the round goes a clock in a twinkling half past
one tie for dinner. Only wish it was, march Hare
said to himself in a whisper, Well, that will be grand, certainly,
Alice Thoughtley, But then I shouldn't be hungry for it,
(05:27):
you know, well not at first, perhaps, said the hatter.
But you could keep it till half past one, as
long as you liked the the way you manage others,
asked the hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I, he replied.
We quarreled last March, just before he went imaginer, pointing
with his teaspoon at the march hare. It was at
the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, at
(05:49):
which I have to think twink or twink or a
little bat. How I wonder what you're at? You know
the song? Perhaps will have heard something like it, said Alice.
Well it does go on, you know, the hatter continued,
In this way, up above the world, you fly like
a tea tray in the sky. Twink or twink or
(06:12):
hear the dormouse shook itself and began singing in its sleep,
Twinkle twinkle, twinkle, and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop. Well, I
hardly finished the first verse, said the hatter. When the
queen bowled out. He's murdering the time off with his head.
How dreadfully savage, exclaimed Alice. And ever since that, the
(06:34):
hatter went on with a mournful tone. You won't do
a thing, I ask. It's always six o'clock. Now. A
bright idea came into Alice's head. Is that the reason
so many tea things are put out here? She asked? Oh, yes,
that's it, said the hatter, with a sigh. It's always tetan.
We've no time to wash the things between whiles. Then
(06:55):
you keep moving around, I suppose, said Alice. Exactly so,
said the hatter. All the things get used up. But
what happens when you come to the beginning again? Alice
ventured to ask, supposed we change the subject? March Hair interrupted, yawning,
I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady
tells us a story. I'm afraid I don't know one,
(07:17):
said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal, and the dormouse
slowly opened its eyes. I wasn't asleep, it said, in
a hoarse, feeble voice. I heard every word you fellows
are saying. Tell us his story, said the march Hare.
Yes please do, pleaded Alice. And pretty quick about it,
added the hatter, Or you'll be asleep again before it's
(07:38):
done right. Once upon a time there were three little sisters,
the dormouse began in a great hurry, and her names
were Helie, Leysi, and Tilly. And they lived at the
bottom of a well? Or did they live on? Said Alice,
who always took great interest in questions of eating and drinking. Hey,
(07:59):
maybe he lived on treacle, said the dormouse, after thinking
a moment or two. They couldn't have done that, you know,
said Alice. They'd have been ill. She shure they were,
said the dormouse. Feel Alice tried a little to fancy
herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like,
but it puzzled her too much, so she went on,
(08:19):
why did they live at the bottom of a well?
Take some more? Tey, the march hare said to Alice,
very earnestly, I've had nothing yet. Alice replied in an
offended tone. So I can't take more? You mean you
can't take less, said the hatter. It's very easy to
take more than nothing. Nobody asked your opinion, said Alice,
who's making personal remarks now, the hatter replied triumphantly. Alice
(08:43):
did not know quite what to say. To this. So
she helped herself to some more tea and bread and butter,
and then turned to the dormouse and repeated her question,
why did they live at the bottom of a well?
A dormouse again took a minute or two to think
about it, and then said, here is a treacle. Well,
there's no such thing. Alice was beginning to get very angry,
(09:03):
but the hatter and the march hair went on shh,
and the dormouse culcly replied, if you can't be civil,
you better finish the story for yourself. No, no, no,
please go on, Alice said, very humbly. I won't a
drubbed again. I dare say there may be one one indeed,
said the dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.
And so these three little sisters they were learning to draw,
(09:27):
you know, And what did they draw? Said Alice? Quite
forgetting a promise? Treacle? Said the dormouse, without considering at
all this time. I want a clean cap, interrupted the hatter.
Let's all move one place on. He moved on as
he spoke, and the dormouse followed him. The march hare
moved into the dormouse's place and Alice rather unwillingly took
(09:48):
the place of the march hair. The hatter was the
only one who got any advantage from the change, and
Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as
the march hare had just upset the milk jug onto
his plate. Alice did not to offend the dormouse again,
so she began very cautiously. But I don't understand where
did they draw the treacle from. You can draw water
out of a water well, said the hatter, So I
(10:10):
should think you could probably draw a treacle out of
a treacle. Well. A stupid But they were in the well,
Alice said to the dormouse, not choosing to notice the
last remark of the hatter. Yes, if, of course they were,
said the dormouse. Well in the answer so confused poor Alice,
as she let the dormouse go on for some time
without interrupting it. They were learning to draw, said the dormouse,
(10:34):
yawning and rubbing its eyes. So it was getting very sleepy,
and they all drew all manner of things. Everything that
begins with an M. Why with an M, said Alice,
Why not, said the march hare. Alice was silent. The
dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and was
going off into a doze, But on being pinched by
(10:57):
the hatter, it woke up again, and the little shriek
was omitted, and it went on that begins with him,
such as mouse traps and the moon and memory, and
they're a machness, machness, you know? How did they say
things are much of a machnis? Eh? Did you ever
see such a thing or a drawing of a machness? Really? Now,
(11:18):
you asked me, said Alice, much confused. I don't think
then you shouldn't talk, said the hatter. This piece of
rudeness was more than Alice could bear. She got up
in great disgust and walked off. The dormouse fell asleep instantly,
and neither of the others took the least notice of
her going, though she looked back once or twice, half
hoping they would call after her. The last time she
(11:40):
saw them they were trying to put the dormouse into
the teapot. At any rate, I'll never go there again,
said Alice, as she picked up her way through the wood.
It's the stupidest tea party I was ever at in
all my life.
There was a table set out under the tree in
front of the house, and the march Hare and the
hatter were having tea at it. A dormouse was sitting
between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using
it as a cushion, resting their elbows upon it and
talking over its head. Very uncomfortable for the dormouse, thought Alice.
As it's only a sleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.
(00:22):
The table was a large one, but the three were
all crowded together at one corner of it. Now room,
now roam, they cried out when they saw Alice come in.
There's plenty of room, Alice said indignantly, and she sat
down on a large armchair at one end of the table.
Have someome wine, the march hare said, in an encouraging tone.
(00:44):
Alice looked all around the table, but there was nothing
on it but tea. I don't see any wine, she remarked, Mary,
isn't any, said the march Hair. Then it wasn't very
civil of you to offer it, Alice said angrily. It
wasn't very simple of you to sit down without being invited,
said the march Hare. I didn't know it was your table,
said Alice. It's laid for a great many more than three.
(01:06):
Your hair, what's cutting? Said the hatter. He'd been looking
at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this
was his first speech. You should learn not to make
personal remarks, Sallie said, with some severity. It's very rude.
The hatter opened his eyes wide on hearing this, but
all he said was why is a raven like a
writing desk? Oh? Come, we shall have some fun now,
(01:28):
thought Alice. I'm glad they've begin asking riddles. I believe
I can guess that, She added aloud. Do you mean
that you think you can turn out the answer to it,
said the march Hare. Exactly so, said Alice. Then you
should say what you mean. The march Hare went on,
I do, Alice hastily replied, at least at least I
(01:48):
mean what I say. That's the same thing you know,
Not the same thing a bit, said the hatter. Why
you might as well say that I'll see what I
eat is the same thing as I eat what I see,
you may as well say, added the mark chair. Then
I like what I get. It's the same thing as
our gain. Would I like? Ah, you might as well say,
added the dormouse, which seemed to be talking in his sleep,
(02:10):
that I breathe when I sleep. It's the same thing
as I sleep. When I breathe, it is the same
thing with you, said the hatter. And here the conversation dropped,
and the party sat silent for a minute while Anna
has thought over all she could remember about ravens and
writing desks, which wasn't much. The hatter was the first
(02:30):
to break the silence. What day of the month is it?
He said, turning to Alice. He had taken his watch
out of his pocket and was looking at it uneasily,
shaking it every now and again and holding it to
his ear. Alice considered a little and then said the
fourth Ha ha, two days wrong, sighed the hatter. I
told you, butter wouldn't suit the works, he said, looking
(02:52):
angrily at the march hair in wisdom based matter. The
march hare meekly replied, yes, but some of the crumbs
must have got as well. The hatter grumbled, you shouldn't
have put it in with a bread knife. The march
hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily. Then
he dipped into his cup of tea. Then he dipped
it into his cup of tea and looked at it again.
(03:13):
But he could think of nothing better to say than
his first remark. It was the best batter, you know.
Alice has been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
What a funny watch, she remarked. It tells the day
of the month and doesn't tell what o'clock it is.
Why should it, muttered the hatter. Does your watch tell
you what year it is? Of course not, Alice replied readily.
(03:37):
Now that's because it stays the same year for such
a long time together, which is just the case with mine,
said the hatter. Alice felt dreamily puzzled. The hatter's remarks
seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it,
and yet was certainly English. I don't quite understand you,
she said, politely as she could. The dormouse is asleep again,
(03:58):
said the hatter, as he poured a little hot tea
upon its nose. The dormouse shook its head impatiently and said,
without opening its eyes. Of course, of course, yes, what
I was going to remark myself. Have you guessed the
riddle yet, the hatter said, turning to Alice again, No,
I give it up. Replied Alice, what's the answer. Having
(04:19):
the slightest idea, said the hatter, Nor I said the
march Hare. Alice sighed wearily. I think you might do
something better with your time, she said, wasting it and
asking riddles that have no answers. If you knew time
as well as I do, said the hatter, you wouldn't
talk about wasting it. It's him. I don't know what
(04:42):
you mean, said Alice. Now, of course you don't, have, said,
tossing his head contemptuously. I dare say you've never even
spoke to time. Well, perhaps not, Alice cautiously replied. But
I do know I have to beat time when I
learn music. Oh that accounts for it, said the hatter.
He won't stand beating either. Now, if you only kept
(05:04):
on good turns with him, he to us anything you
liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it was nine
o'clock in the morning, just a time to begin lessons.
You'd only have to whisper a hint to time, and
the round goes a clock in a twinkling half past
one tie for dinner. Only wish it was, march Hare
said to himself in a whisper, Well, that will be grand, certainly,
Alice Thoughtley, But then I shouldn't be hungry for it,
(05:27):
you know, well not at first, perhaps, said the hatter.
But you could keep it till half past one, as
long as you liked the the way you manage others,
asked the hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I, he replied.
We quarreled last March, just before he went imaginer, pointing
with his teaspoon at the march hare. It was at
the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, at
(05:49):
which I have to think twink or twink or a
little bat. How I wonder what you're at? You know
the song? Perhaps will have heard something like it, said Alice.
Well it does go on, you know, the hatter continued,
In this way, up above the world, you fly like
a tea tray in the sky. Twink or twink or
(06:12):
hear the dormouse shook itself and began singing in its sleep,
Twinkle twinkle, twinkle, and went on so long that they
had to pinch it to make it stop. Well, I
hardly finished the first verse, said the hatter. When the
queen bowled out. He's murdering the time off with his head.
How dreadfully savage, exclaimed Alice. And ever since that, the
(06:34):
hatter went on with a mournful tone. You won't do
a thing, I ask. It's always six o'clock. Now. A
bright idea came into Alice's head. Is that the reason
so many tea things are put out here? She asked? Oh, yes,
that's it, said the hatter, with a sigh. It's always tetan.
We've no time to wash the things between whiles. Then
(06:55):
you keep moving around, I suppose, said Alice. Exactly so,
said the hatter. All the things get used up. But
what happens when you come to the beginning again? Alice
ventured to ask, supposed we change the subject? March Hair interrupted, yawning,
I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady
tells us a story. I'm afraid I don't know one,
(07:17):
said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal, and the dormouse
slowly opened its eyes. I wasn't asleep, it said, in
a hoarse, feeble voice. I heard every word you fellows
are saying. Tell us his story, said the march Hare.
Yes please do, pleaded Alice. And pretty quick about it,
added the hatter, Or you'll be asleep again before it's
(07:38):
done right. Once upon a time there were three little sisters,
the dormouse began in a great hurry, and her names
were Helie, Leysi, and Tilly. And they lived at the
bottom of a well? Or did they live on? Said Alice,
who always took great interest in questions of eating and drinking. Hey,
(07:59):
maybe he lived on treacle, said the dormouse, after thinking
a moment or two. They couldn't have done that, you know,
said Alice. They'd have been ill. She shure they were,
said the dormouse. Feel Alice tried a little to fancy
herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like,
but it puzzled her too much, so she went on,
(08:19):
why did they live at the bottom of a well?
Take some more? Tey, the march hare said to Alice,
very earnestly, I've had nothing yet. Alice replied in an
offended tone. So I can't take more? You mean you
can't take less, said the hatter. It's very easy to
take more than nothing. Nobody asked your opinion, said Alice,
who's making personal remarks now, the hatter replied triumphantly. Alice
(08:43):
did not know quite what to say. To this. So
she helped herself to some more tea and bread and butter,
and then turned to the dormouse and repeated her question,
why did they live at the bottom of a well?
A dormouse again took a minute or two to think
about it, and then said, here is a treacle. Well,
there's no such thing. Alice was beginning to get very angry,
(09:03):
but the hatter and the march hair went on shh,
and the dormouse culcly replied, if you can't be civil,
you better finish the story for yourself. No, no, no,
please go on, Alice said, very humbly. I won't a
drubbed again. I dare say there may be one one indeed,
said the dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to go on.
And so these three little sisters they were learning to draw,
(09:27):
you know, And what did they draw? Said Alice? Quite
forgetting a promise? Treacle? Said the dormouse, without considering at
all this time. I want a clean cap, interrupted the hatter.
Let's all move one place on. He moved on as
he spoke, and the dormouse followed him. The march hare
moved into the dormouse's place and Alice rather unwillingly took
(09:48):
the place of the march hair. The hatter was the
only one who got any advantage from the change, and
Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as
the march hare had just upset the milk jug onto
his plate. Alice did not to offend the dormouse again,
so she began very cautiously. But I don't understand where
did they draw the treacle from. You can draw water
out of a water well, said the hatter, So I
(10:10):
should think you could probably draw a treacle out of
a treacle. Well. A stupid But they were in the well,
Alice said to the dormouse, not choosing to notice the
last remark of the hatter. Yes, if, of course they were,
said the dormouse. Well in the answer so confused poor Alice,
as she let the dormouse go on for some time
without interrupting it. They were learning to draw, said the dormouse,
(10:34):
yawning and rubbing its eyes. So it was getting very sleepy,
and they all drew all manner of things. Everything that
begins with an M. Why with an M, said Alice,
Why not, said the march hare. Alice was silent. The
dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and was
going off into a doze, But on being pinched by
(10:57):
the hatter, it woke up again, and the little shriek
was omitted, and it went on that begins with him,
such as mouse traps and the moon and memory, and
they're a machness, machness, you know? How did they say
things are much of a machnis? Eh? Did you ever
see such a thing or a drawing of a machness? Really? Now,
(11:18):
you asked me, said Alice, much confused. I don't think
then you shouldn't talk, said the hatter. This piece of
rudeness was more than Alice could bear. She got up
in great disgust and walked off. The dormouse fell asleep instantly,
and neither of the others took the least notice of
her going, though she looked back once or twice, half
hoping they would call after her. The last time she
(11:40):
saw them they were trying to put the dormouse into
the teapot. At any rate, I'll never go there again,
said Alice, as she picked up her way through the wood.
It's the stupidest tea party I was ever at in
all my life.
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