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February 17, 2025 47 mins
Dr. Linda P. Chinn is a native of New London, CT who currently resides in Douglasville, GA. She fulfills her mission of uprooting and pulling down false belief systems in the lives of God's people to build them up by planting in them the incorruptible seed of the living Word through her various ministries. Dr. Chinn is an accomplished entrepreneur and the creator of Linda Chinn Ministries as well as the founder of Christian Women in Training Network.
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. This
is the podcast where real life choices need biblical truth
without the plot. Tune in every second and fourth Monday
at GBM in Eastern Standard Time as Doctor Chen shares
faith filled, practical insights to navigate everyday challenges. Get ready

(00:21):
for real talk, real life, and real answers.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, Welcome to another episode of Keeping
It Real with Doctor Linda Chin. I'm audrybel Kearney, the
producer of the show. I'm so happy for you guys
to be with us today. Got a great show with you.
It's called The Lessons from the Water Boys. So Doctor
Chen has an amazing guest and they're gonna come on
and they're gonna give you some wisdom, like always listen.

(00:47):
If you have not subscribed to the show yet, be
sure to do so. And it's not too late for
you to share this episode with a friend right now,
so they can tune in live and watch this show,
because I'm sure they're gonna get a lot of wisdom
and a lot of knowledge, something that you can take
back I can share with somebody else, all right, So
without further ado, I'm going to bring them up to
the stage. So let's welcome Doctor Chen and her guests. Benjamin, Welcome, Welcome.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Welcome, good morning, good morning, well, good afternoon after.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Hello, Hello, mister Benjamin Pucket. Thank you so much, and
thank you so much Audrey for bringing us up and
for producing the show. And we just we honor Audrey today.
She does so much more than people realizing the background.
And thank you Audrey, and thank you, mister Benjamin Pucket
for your yes to be on keeping it Real with

(01:36):
Doctor Chen our podcast today. And even though we haven't
talked a lot, I want our guests to know that
I've known Benjamin since he was a little little boy,
if you can believe it or not, and to see
how he has grown into this amazing, this amazing, wonderful,
inspirational He's a speaker, Benjamin is an author. He really

(01:59):
could be a life coach and my personal opinion to
young men and even men his age and older. And
I won't tell his age if he wants to do that,
that's his business, all right. So Benjamin is a leader
and has a leadership mindset. He does it at a
practical level and if you've ever seen any of his posts,

(02:21):
you would know that he drops nuggets and then he
walks away. He's not a man of a lot of words.
He's a man of few words, and that's really how
you get your nuggets across. He's a man, he's a
man of faith. He's a man who believes strongly in family,
wonderful father and husband. He's an entrepreneur and of course
a public speaker. And I don't know if I said that,

(02:42):
but Benjamin's vision is on the future and leaving legacy
for young men. And I love what he's done because
he's leading from a path. Let's just call him a trailblazer.
Thank you, Benjamin Pucket. Welcome to the show, and tell
us a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Glad to be here, Glad to be here? Well, you know,
I was born and raised in Marietta, Georgia. The only
reason I ever left was to go play college football
at Jacksonville State University, where I found, you know, a
love and art of speaking from some individuals I was around,
and some work I was doing in the community with

(03:21):
an organization organization that I was a part of at
the time. And man, it's kind of led me here
to today of going through a full life's journey of
you know, graduating college, we're playing football, graduating college, going
into corporate and then jumping out on entrepreneurship and now,
you know, just being ten. I think I'm ten years

(03:41):
in now, ten years in in January in regards to
business and all the things I've learned and you know,
applying it to everyday life and really kind of understanding
what it looks like is being growing up and being
a man. So yeah, that's a little bit about myself.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
I love it growing up and being a man, because
just because you're grown up doesn't make you a man.
He said, growing up and being a man, And I
love that. And so his listen, y'all, his website order
will pull up, but even his email BP inspires. And
what I know that he's going to do today is
that he's not only going to inspire, but Benjamin is

(04:21):
going to inspire us and show us what it looks
like to inspire other people. And so one of the
questions I wanted to ask is what is your main
goal in life?

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Benjamin got you. So my main goal, first of all,
my main goal is to always give honor and glory
to God. I want my life to be a visual
of what a disciple of you know, being a Christian
looks like, as well as creating a name for my

(04:57):
sons that when they go to certain places, whether I'm here,
whether I'm dead and gone to where where I'm not around,
to where they say my name is Jabbar Puckett or
my name is dream Pucket, and they'd be like, oh,
I know your dad, and they're gonna open up doors
for them. So open up getting doors opening up for them,
just because of the sake of my name and the
things that I've done in the world, as well as

(05:19):
impacting youth, especially young African American males because of because
of me understanding the difficulties of being for one a male,
a man, and then three a black man. In the
world of entrepreneurship, in the word of corporate, in the

(05:40):
world of education, even in the world of athletics, and
those are four separate worlds that you have to take
four different mentalities into. So just really helping the youth,
the black males, the African American females, and then just
overall the youth period, like I've dealt with a lot

(06:00):
of you know, been gone to a lot of places
in Oklahoma, and Virginia and dealt with like a lot
of that are confused sometimes in regards to what their
next steps look like in regards to what is really life,
especially because you know, I grew up in the age

(06:20):
on that edge of where social media when I was
in middle school going into high school was right around
the neighborhood and seeing where all the bikes were. That's
a part of social media, understand where everybody was, you know,
and then transition into the iPhone and then Facebook, and
then now we got Instagram, TikTok. So I'm kind of
the I say, I'm the middleman between generations and trying

(06:44):
to bridge gaps because there are a lot of things
that we did before TikTok that still apply now is
just a different strategy. The principle is the same, but
the strategy might just be a little different.

Speaker 4 (06:55):
That's one of my favorite words. Is strategy one of
my favorite words. And before we dig a little deeper,
when we talked initially, you taught me a lesson about
what it was to inspire quickly. If you will tell
our listening audience the lesson that you taught me when
you said to me, do you know about the water Boys.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was so crazy. It
was really random because I was just driving and it
was at a stoplight coming out the expressway and there
was some young men there and they were selling hoodie
I mean not hoodies but hats, right, and they had
water boys on it and the water Boys. Everybody's from

(07:38):
Atlanta knows about the water Boys. And it's a bunch
of young men just selling water things of that sort.
And they transitioned to start selling like merchandise and stuff
like that because they started to get a name for themselves.
But there were three of them out there came up
to me to sell what they were selling, and you know, honestly,
I didn't want the I didn't want what they were

(07:59):
selling essentially, just because it wasn't the need of mind
that I have anybody I can give it to. So
I just donated to they ministry. So I donated, and
I gave one of them one I need you to
move on to the mic. Okay, got you? So, can
you hear me now? Yes? Okay, got you? So I
donated to one of them, and two others ran up

(08:19):
on me and was like, hey, big brother, can you
give me a couple dollars whatever, whatever. Whatever. I said,
I gave you a man something and you guys are
supposed to be a team. And he was like, man,
he's not gonna share it with us whatever whatever. So,
and they were kind of going back and forth with me,
and I was kind of giving them game. I wasn't
giving them because I had ran out of cash, so
I started giving them gaming, like, hey, this is how

(08:40):
you say. You gotta sound desperate. Don't sound desperate, sound confident.
I was giving them all this stuff and when I left.
As I was leaving them, they was like, you know,
give us no money. I said, nah, I don't have
no more. And then I left and he yelled out
something violent to me. And at first I was just
like I kind of laughed it off, but then later
on that day I was kind of hurt by it

(09:01):
because I was like, they were so angry that they
couldn't get what they wanted in that moment, just because
they got a no, they turned straight to violence or
straight to anger. And I was like, I thought about
my two boys and how those young men might have
been raised, and how they may or may not been
raised with a father may not have good influence in
their life because that type of anger, that's just not

(09:23):
a type of anger that you see on a daily,
on a day to day basis. That's the type of
anger you see because you've heard, you've been rejected, and
the thing that you're trying right now, you didn't get
the results, so you don't have the coping mechanism to
kind of go through. Okay, I didn't get this yes
right here, but if I asked three, four, five, ten
more people, I might get a yes to fulfill what

(09:45):
it is I need. So it was a bunch of
different things in that and it just lit It lit
my heart, even the mo off. I put a fire
in my belly to keep going and doing what I'm
doing because it's so many more I've spoken to hundreds
thousands of students and some impact. It's like, man, there's
so many more students, teachers educated, There's so many many

(10:06):
more things to do and get done, and even partner
with other people in the community to have a passion
for the youth because that's on tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
So I know people who have a passion for youth
and have a ministry to the youth, but I'm not
sure that they have a strategy to meet the youth
where they are. In other words, I'm not sure they
have a strategy as to how to respond to the

(10:36):
angry young black boy, to the angry older or middle
age or twenty year old black man. I'm not sure
they know how to respond to that rather than just
being turned off and then going the other way. But
there are other things that you do in your background,
Like you created Welcome to the Jungle, right.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Right, So you just that didn't Yeah, I didn't create it.
It was a program that I got certified in and
not many people use it, but I use it for
my youth development because it's something that gives them an
ability to identify with and you start to identify who

(11:20):
you are or kind of your personality. It helps you
with decision making, It helps you with communication, It helps
you with relationship building because it comes with four different
animals and four different personalities for different personality and once
you understand who you are, you understand how you make
decisions and how you operate. And once you understand that,
it gives you a better chance of being able to

(11:42):
communicate with the other animals in the jungle and learn
those particular personality traits. So so in doing that, it
just gave them something to kind of hang on to
and then kind of take from there because a lot
of time, to be honest with you, many people are
coming in and motivating and inspiring, but they're not giving
them anything to kind of hold onto or anything they

(12:05):
could kind of grasp onto to, you know, figure certain
stuff out because some of them just need a starting point. Yeah,
they could take it from there, but it also gives
me the ability to give them steps on. Hey, you're
this personality, so you make decisions in this way, which
means that you see this way, but you need to
change it, right, You need to for you to get

(12:26):
this result, You need to change how you see this
naturally to go to your unnatural state so we can
get a better result than you would naturally get.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
So it sounds like you're teaching them about perspective right,
about perspective? So how do you help them develop a
resilience in the face of failure and setbacks because a
lot of them see themselves as failures. How do you
help build up that resilience in them so that they

(12:57):
don't see themselves as failures.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
To a great question. So before I do any training
with youth or even professional development, always do a mindset training,
because what I believe is is that everything that you
do starts in your mind first, whether you're now, whether
you're reading, whether you're having, everything starts in your mind first.

(13:22):
And I was actually looking doing some research on Lebron James.
It's more than in the person that they said was
supposed to be Lebron James before Lebron James, but the
thing that held him back. He had almost the same
physical attributes, almost the same statistics, but the thing that
held him back was his mindset. His mindset. He had
a fixed mindset to where he didn't he believed in

(13:46):
his he believed in his natural ability, but he didn't
go beyond just what he naturally had, right, He just
thought things were gonna come to him. Versus Lebron James
had a growth mindset, which he knew that he had
a natural ability, but he also that there were other
things next level.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
So what we're missing, we're going missing some of this meat.
You're going in and out a little bit.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Probably because I just somebody just tried to call me
in that moment, but yeah, yeah, yeah, So with their
mentality helping them understand the fixed versus growth mindset and
attacking those minds, those fixed mindset traits that they may have,
the ones where they feel don't feel worthy, getting nervous,

(14:35):
feel like they didn't come from a particular background, so
they can't achieve certain things. So once you identify those
fixed mindset traits and you show them growth mindset traits,
and you show them how to get out of that
and how to feed themselves. I have a I have
a strategy called the three gates strategy. And we're talking
about your ears, your mouth, and your eyes because I

(14:58):
believe that because I did it with myself, like I
talked to him about, Like I used to love listening
to money bag yo. I don't know if you're familiar
with money bag yo, but I used to listen to
amount of Time, Young Golf, all that good stuff, and
even back in the day listening to like young Little
John east Side Boys and all that good stuff. But
it was more degrading, demonstra to music to where it

(15:21):
made you more violent, made you more degrading towards women,
different things of that sort. But once I started to
stop listening to those things and start pouring into my
mind more positive things, listening to business podcasts, making sure
I'm not watching certain videos, making sure that I'm speaking
to myself in a positive light. Those are some of
the things that help you with your growth mindset and

(15:44):
help you attract the people that are gonna help you
build and grow. And they also other people away from
you that are more negative, because at a certain point,
some people just get tired of hearing positivity. They get
tired of people talking about growing. They getting tired of
of hearing how you're gonna do certain things because they
have a limited belief. But when you when you don't

(16:05):
have a limited belief and you say, man, I'm gonna
become a millionaire, but your situation doesn't look like a
millionaire situation, and you're telling people that are in the
similar situation, a dollar situation, that you were about to
go to a million dollar stratter sphere. It's hard for
them to see because they didn't have God didn't give
them the vision that they gave you. Because you have
a particular talent, you have a particular skill set that's

(16:28):
gonna get you certain places that it's not gonna take
other people. So yeah, I try to help deal with
that mindset first and then we go into everything else.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
So I want to ask you this. So you talked
about how you came to a point you dealt with
the three gates, and how you came to a point
where you understood you how to change the type of
music that you were listening to, being mindful of what
you watch and what you put in your your allowed
yourself to view.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
How did you get there? And do you explain to these.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Young boys and young man your own personal testimony, like
what you used to listen to and what you used
to do. How do you share your journey because it
didn't just drop all of a sudden.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Correct, Oh yeah, no, no, no, no, I definitely. That's the
biggest connector is being open and vulnerable with the students,
cause the students stay like the real stuff they want
to hear, like what you was doing back in the day,
like cause I tell them all the time, like when
I was in college, like my first semester, Man, I
was having so much fun, Like I have fun for

(17:32):
at least two to three other people. I promise you
every day was a party. Anybody went to Jacksonville State
knows about dog Get Hall and the parties we used
to throw and the dogget Boys and how we used
to be everywhere. Man, I had a one point o
GPA coming out my first semester, So giving them that
story and telling them about all the things I was
doing when I was at Jacksonville State University and how

(17:55):
I was about to fell out of college, how it's
like when you go from high school to college. It's
a whole new world. Like you don't make the parents
with you, you know you they might you might have
a curfew on who you can come into your dormitory,
but you don't have a curfew on where you could go.
You can be at three o'clock in the morning. It's
just it's a lot of things that you get that freedom.

(18:17):
And I tell them about how I got a taste
of that freedom and how I went crazy and how
I almost flunked out, but the lessons that I learned
from almost failing out and the things to help connect
with them, to show them, hey, you don't have to
go through the same things I went through. You know,
your journey could be different. You just need to build

(18:38):
on the principles I'm telling you and we could take
it from there.

Speaker 4 (18:42):
So that's that's really really interesting. And I and I
can certainly relate even though I went When I went
to college, it was still in the seventies. But a
party is a party.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
A party is a.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
Party, and a party mindset is a party mindset. And
so I get it. I get it, And there aren't
some waken moments. Now, what would you say to the
young man who never even heard of college except for
to watch college football college basketball? What would you say
to that young person.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
So it's still a principle that still holds true whether
you go to college or not, because even if you
don't go to college, you got to go somewhere, and
especially living in Atlanta, like their parties everywhere. It's a
part It's even a party in the corn fields and
Nebraska their parties everywhere. But it's also not just about

(19:35):
the parties. It's also about the distractions of life there.
It is. So your distraction may not be a party.
Your distraction may be you're working. Your distraction may be money.
Your distraction may be you got people trying to put
you in the streets and distracting you from getting your education. Yeah. Right,
So I had a one point on GPA at the

(19:56):
end of that semester because I was doing things wrong academically.
But in life, there's a point in everybody's life where
they have a one point oh GPA. You just have
to find where it is that one GPA exists and
say that again. So everybody has a one point on
GPA in their life. Some people that's your attitude, some

(20:17):
people that's your work ethic, some people that's your strategy,
it's your plan. But there's always an opportunity as well
as you're willing to evaluate yourself self evaluate to come
out of that and go from a one point oh
GPA and go get your four point zero because everybody
don't start everybody starts at zero, right, But it matters
where you want to go on how you want to

(20:39):
get to your goal, whether it's a four point or
three point three, matters how you want to get there.
That's the biggest thing in the journey and falling in
love with the journey of getting to where you want.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
To be, all right, Benjamin Pucket, So let me let
me ask you some another question. How does or what's
the as you work towards goals and teach young people
how to set goals. What is the most common mistake
that you have found that people make when setting goals
and how can they fix that.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Most common mistake, The common mistake that people make in
setting goals, especially young people, is that they get so
focused on the end game that they forget to fall
in love with the process because part of like the
end game or the goal. So let's just say goal.

(21:31):
Your goal is college, right, that's not a it's not
a stop sign. It's more like a yield. You're gonna
get there, but you're gonna keep going. You got other
things that go pass that, like your corporate career. Do
you want to be a director? Do you want to
be a VP? Might being an entrepreneur, but falling in
love with the process, falling in love with the small wins,

(21:51):
like like okay, you got you want to go to college,
but man, did you get the grade that you needed
in this class? Let's go even more that, did you
get the grade that you need to get on this
quiz to get the grade in this class? For you
to have the GPA, to get the scholarship opportunities to
even qualify for the schools that you want to go to.

(22:14):
A lot of times we have goals that we don't
qualify for. Wow, Wow, Wow, Wow.

Speaker 4 (22:21):
Wow, that's huge. So then what at what's the youngest
age and point that you desire to to influence and
help these young men. You got to get to them
young at some point. What's that age for you?

Speaker 3 (22:39):
When it's in a group setting. When it's in a
group setting, it's usually high school and above. I haven't
I've done haven't done middle school since COVID. But my
favorite used to be kind of I used to. I
used to work with schools in Fulton County to where
I would have small groups of middle schoolers, like six seven,
eighth grade. That's where that's where you see a lot

(23:01):
of the things that are being taught, the turmoil that
they're dealing with. And you know, in Atlanta, Atlanta is
a state to where or a city to wear. A
lot of students in the city the only time they
eat is actually at school.

Speaker 4 (23:17):
Not the first time I've heard that. It's sad.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
It's very sad. Man. So you're so I'm having the
empathy to deal with those situations. You don't understand the
jungle that they go through before they get to your
their classroom. You don't understand the streets that they have
to walk down before you don't understand the turmoil that
they may be going through in their house before they

(23:43):
even get to school. Like some students, they would go
through so much turmoil that school was their only peaceful
place to be. And if an educator doesn't understand how
to have empathy, or or how to adjust, or how
to beat, how to have effective communication with their students

(24:05):
to even get that type of information, they can go
from one hell hole to another if they have a
teacher that doesn't understand. And That's where I'm going more
so now is dealing with educators. Yeah, win an environment
for the students to have empathy, understand how to communicate,
because just because you have a degree doesn't mean that

(24:27):
that that field is for you. Because I'm to have
a heart for it, you.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
Really really do. I have two god daughters happen to
be the same age, and they both are educators. And
one is in Atlanta Public school system the other one
is in the Baltimore school systems. So these are inner
city schools. And the things that their stories are so
similar and their challenges, it makes me weep. And I

(24:55):
was talking to one of them and they was she
was saying the same thing. They both tell the same
stories about some of the issues that the children deal with.
So's I talk to them and I encourage them. I'm like, girl,
you gotta pray. There's a different kind of prayer. So
how does your faith shape your approach to helping them

(25:17):
to be a leader for them and to help them
and their personal growth? How does your faith play a
role in that?

Speaker 3 (25:25):
Man, that's a great question. I've never been answered at before.
I've never been asked at before. So in trying to
be more like Christ and in my faith, you have
to go back to treat others as you want to
be treated right, and sometimes you know, I remember back

(25:48):
into my times where I was struggling in school to
where I feel like I wasn't being heard, to where
I felt like, you know, I was just treated like
a number. To have empathy when I when I deal
with a student that may be a little bit more
angry in our sessions, or they may be disruptive in
the sessions, I don't try to kick them out. I

(26:13):
don't try to ostracize them. And it matters the environment
that you're in. In certain environments, you can joke and
go back and forth with them because you know, I
come from an area where you know we can jone
back and forth, right, But then you get their attention
that way because now you're relatable now, especially if you
get a good one on them and the school everybody
turned on them, and I'd be like, now can we

(26:34):
get back to the lesson? So is being relatable and
understanding your craft to a point where you don't You're not.
You're not so rigid as going off of what you
just want to talk about. You go off what they need.
The best talk I've ever given, the best talks I've

(26:54):
ever given, are not the ones who are prepared for
a week. I was talking about this a couple minutes ago. Yeah,
pare it for a week, and I do all this research.
But then you get there and you start talking to
people and you're like, man, when I got that's not
what they need? They need this. And because I'm so
well prepared and versed and been to all these other
different rooms, I know how to kind of we even

(27:17):
dive in and out the story I need to go
get and bring here the research maybe that I need
to have or put in there, or the or the
social social what's the what's the word I'm looking for?
Like if I if I start talking about Lebron because
he's more relatable because he's famous. Yeah, or I talk
about Kobe stuff like pulling those types of things and

(27:38):
bringing it in to create that connection so you can
create transformation.

Speaker 4 (27:44):
And creates that interest in that hunger too. And you
said a lot. And so while this is a faith
based podcast, one thing I have to say that I'm
grateful for, and also sometimes it's hurtful, is that as believers,
we're not always relatable, right, we can't always relate some

(28:06):
of us are religious. And I was speaking to a
relative just this past week less than a week ago,
who said, I love the very different lifestyles.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Right.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
He said, I love you because you don't judge me.
I love you because you love me for who I am.
And just we've got to learn how to meet people
where they are and as prepared as we can be
as educators and writers, authors and speakers and facilitators. This
is my opinion, Benjamin, because I believe in Jesus that

(28:40):
if you have Jesus, the Holy Spirit will allow you,
will give you insight as to respond to somebody, whether
you have prepared or not. Right, He'll give you what
you need. He'll give you the food for them to
feed them. So I want to ask what values now

(29:00):
raising sons the.

Speaker 3 (29:01):
Way you desire? Were you raised the way you're raising
your sons? Kind of kind of okay because of because
the person that got me into church was my grandma,
But my father and my mother weren't super religious. My
mom went to Catholic school. She know, she she knew Jesus.

(29:21):
But my grandma, Oh, she's a seasoned saint. She's a
she a little Bible study on Wednesday, prayer mean Thursday,
you know, Sunday school. She knows God. I know, yes,
she can get some prayers through. Yeah, I can't get
through right now. She got a different relationship with the Lord.

(29:43):
She was probably the one covering me while I was
acting crazy in college. That's probably why I'm still here today.
But yeah, so so, But it's not a slight to
my parents. It's more so of I'm taking over my
grandma took got me. I'm giving my my mother my
father and infusing the most positive things and taking everything

(30:03):
that I know from my educated background and everything that
I kind of see and kind of put it in now.
No parent is perfect, No parent creates a correct environment.
We all make mistakes. I know certain mistakes I've made,
But the thing is being humped one thing you gotta
be humble about when you make a mistake. Because people
don't want to follow a leader that they feel is

(30:25):
never wrong. They want to follow a leader that can
be right and will admit when they are wrong, and
can take correction as well as it can correct as
well as being corrected. Those are the type of people
people want to follow. Nobody wants a dictatorship. So I
take a couple of different things, and I see certain
things work, some things don't work, and we just figure

(30:48):
it out from there. But the biggest thing is coming
with love, coming with the best interests at heart. Sometimes
man and me and my seven year old we butt
had some times, not because he's a bad kid, but
sometimes he just wanted to do what he want to do. Yeah,
and I have to give him. I have to give

(31:08):
him love as well as Sometimes when I feel myself
becoming frustrated, sometimes you have to step away, come on,
and then come back because they feel that frustration even
if you're trying to cover it. Yeah, with even when
you're trying to cover it, they can feel that frustration.
So understanding those nuances of being a elite, of being

(31:30):
a father, being a husband, being a leader. Let me
tell you something, Being a being a father, and being
a husband have been some of the best leadership classes
that I've ever taken up to this point.

Speaker 4 (31:43):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (31:46):
Because because when you become a father and I'm not
talking about because because and this is a conversation I've had, well,
I will die on this shield. A long term boyfriend,
a fiance, and a husband are three different categories. Sometimes
people try to say because I've they've been with somebody

(32:07):
for a long time, that is just like being married.
It's not the same. It's not when you become married
you it's a covenant because it's you the person you married,
and God and y'all come together in a covenant. And
when you take that because now because you can't leave,
you can't leave under under biblical law. There's only certain

(32:28):
things you can do to leave that marriage. So and
this is why I always qualify my principles and the
things I go by they are Christian based. If you're
not a Christian, this is not this is this is
so that's why like if you Muslim, I talk to you,
I understand your law. And you Christian. If I'm Christian,

(32:48):
you're Christian. Now we understand law. If you're atheist, I
understand your law. So that's why I don't judge people
until I know, well, I don't judge. I don't until
I know your principles because then I know the promises
that you're trying to get to. So I love this.

(33:10):
I love this.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
I love this, And whether people realize it or not,
for me, we're still talking about lessons that you learn
from water boys write this whole anger, this whole learning
how to collaborate, because it sounded like to me, even
in marriage, you're talking about collaborating with God, collaborating with
your wife. You've brought the if you will, the virtual

(33:32):
collaboration of your grandmother, your grandparents right in order to
bring into fruition how you respond, behave love and communicate
as a as a husband and as a father. And
you've shown how you brought your faith into that approach.
And so what do you what do you say to

(33:55):
the young man who is so angry that they're really
not hearing what you're saying, saying that they're maybe they're hungry,
maybe they've got to go back home, and when you lead,
they're saying to themself. I still got to go back
home to my abusive father. I still got to have
to go back home to my drug addict mother. I
still have to go back home and won't have any
anything to eat. And no, we can't reach everybody.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
We know that.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
But when you feel in your gut that you're talking
to that person, what do you do at that point?

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Gotcha? So you do what you can. You control what
you can control in that moment. Right. So, if it's
a session and it's one person and the young man
comes to me and he's like, ma'am, I hear what
you're saying, but I'm hungry and we don't have any

(34:50):
food at home, I'm like, all right, cool, Uh, what
is there Wendy's around here? Yeah, where's the nearest grocery
store I have? I have personally brought food to my
sessions that wasn't paid for by the school. Yes, personally
brought because you never know what they're dealing with. And
a hungry somebody that's hungry, they're not they're not listening

(35:13):
to you. But if you feed them as as I'm
feeding them now, I'm talking to them, asking them questions like, hey,
what's going on? You know? Is it? Is it your
the food stem situation? Is it your mom lost their job? What?
What is it? Then we can start digging after you
feed them and sell their stomach and sell their spirit,
and now they fit. Now you you can tell a

(35:34):
person's priority by where they spend their money in their time. Yes,
and if now I am spending money on you, like
I'm spending money on feeding you right now, now you see,
now you my priority. Now we can really talk about
what you got going on and kind of take it
from there. Now matter fix all, b'all. I know only

(35:55):
know certain stuff, but I can help to get the
process started. And some times I still they have a
cell phone or usually I don't call students on their
cell phone. If they got Instagram, I follow him on
Instagram and we can be hearing back and forth. So
you handle situations like that with doing what you can
do in the moment. So then we can kind of

(36:15):
dig a little bit deeper, dig a little because you
can't grown. Wasn't built in the day and you got
gonna change this young man life in the day, right,
But if you just do what you can do in
that moment and give them steps. Sometimes give them resources.
They might start asking questions to where now you can
give them resources or help him ask better questions to
get better answers, because that's a big disconnect in the

(36:38):
that's a big disconnecting communication. Sometimes people are just asking
the wrong questions and they're getting the wrong answer and
it's not helping them get to where they want to be.
I love this.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
We're gonna have to have you back on, really, because
you touched on so many very different things. The black
man as a father, the black man as a hu husband,
the black man as an entrepreneur, the black man as
a fook, you know, the educator, and all of these things.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
And so.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
We can get these things from pundits and people from
from uh.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
Who've read books.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
But here you are walking this walk and Audie's gonna
come back on, and I want to know Audrey, and
she's gonna put your website up. But Audie's gonna come
back on and see what insight that she's gained from
your talking to us and inspiring us today.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Well, I think, you know, it's so funny because I
work with the organization. It's a nonprofit and they work
with children, youth. I'm not gonna say children. They work
with like young young teenagers, twins, things like that, and
they struggled sometimes trying to reach those those twins and
get them excited. One of the things we did last
I sit on the board. One of the things we

(37:52):
did last year was created journal for them to be
able to journal about their feelings. How often or do
you do this at all? Or get them to start
journaling so they can get some of this aggression out
on the paper.

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Gotch you? So one thing I haven't gone into yet
is kind of getting them in the journal. But that
is not a bad idea because it gives them a
form of being able to get it out right some talking.
But everybody's a little bit different because I even see
this with me and my wife when we have when
we come to head sometimes I want to talk, she

(38:26):
wants to write writ So everybody's is a little different.
I like a lot of time they talk to me,
but the writing piece, it's just a form of them
getting it out. Even for them to go play basketball
or something, for them to be able to go compete
is a is another way of them dealing with with
whatever they're dealing with because now they can take that

(38:47):
negative aggression and put it in a positive place and
possibly get to a uh, get to a positive place.
Better mindset, Yeah, better mindset because once you get on
your mine's not as cloudy with all an anger. Now
you can think clearer. That's what anger does for these
young men. It's a very cloudy mind to where they

(39:09):
make a split second decision that'll change their life forever.
You know.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
I think about I think about growing up, and I
was a smart kid in school. Believe I was a
smart kid in school, the ones with like the scholarships
in ninth grade and all this crazies, right, and then
I get kicked out of college. My mother used to
hate for me to say that. But what she didn't understand,
neither did I, was that even though I was a
smart kid, I really didn't have any guidance on which

(39:37):
way to go right. I really didn't know what my
core genius was. I wish someone had told me when
I was fourteen fifteen that I could be an entrepreneur,
because that's what I would have done, right, But nobody
told me that. How do you help them recognize what
their core geniuses are before they even get to that level,
because I feel like, for me, had someone told me that,
like I was really good in math and science, right,
I should have been an engineer. But I went to

(39:58):
school to be an accountant, and I hated every second
of it. And nobody told me, hey, you can go
being an engineer. But they said be an accountant because
you're good at math.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
And I went to be an.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
Account and I went there and played around.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
All I did was play space and east some flowers.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
What's your question for him?

Speaker 4 (40:13):
What is your question to him?

Speaker 2 (40:15):
My question is how do you get them to discover
their cor genius now as young men, so that they
can avoid that mistake that a lot of us make.
You know, people go to college because their parents want
them to study certain things, and you know, not that
cor genius gotcha.

Speaker 3 (40:32):
Let me ask you a quick question. Was accounting the
only option presented to you because of your skill set? Yep?
The only option gotcha? A lot of times they don't
understand their core genius because of the options that they
have for their core genius.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
When you start to get because I've been an entrepreneur
since I was in elementary school, I've been selling candy
I wasn't good. I was not remember. I was selling candy,
I was selling drinks, I was selling pops. I was
selling these frozen things out of my refrigerator. So I've

(41:11):
always been an entrepreneur at heart, but I never knew
what it was called, and I never knew what it
looked like. A lot of times they're core genius doesn't
come out or is directed into a place that is safe,
because that's all they've been told that it was safe.
So when I did so, when I used to tell

(41:32):
my mom what I was doing, she used to always say,
why don't you just get a job, Why don't you
just get a job. But it's because of my gift
in that because I went to college and I was
able to see some other things that I started to understand,
like what other options I had. And because of YouTube,
I started understanding what other options I had because of

(41:56):
what I was able to see. Now, if it was
just being in my house because of my mom, because
she has a very stable career, very makes very good money,
I would have only known get a job. But because
of the options that were presented to me, and I
have other places to put my genius and try things out.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
So what she's asked, So, so what you're saying, and
she saying, how do you help them to discover?

Speaker 3 (42:22):
What would you say is a way for them to discover?

Speaker 4 (42:25):
How do we help them to dis Are you saying
we should be able to give them more options or
broaden their options?

Speaker 3 (42:30):
Given me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what are you talking about?
So a lot of times we have these conversations. I
have group conversations and they'll just talk, especially when we
when I come in and we do goal setting, career setting,
visit the sort. They'll tell me what they want. They'll
tell me what they want, and I tell them what
the different options that are for that situation. Like one girl,

(42:52):
I was precious baby. She was like, man, I want
to be a veterinarian because all she was told because
she loved animals, is that she could be a veterinarian.
But then I but she was telling me. I was like, okay, cool,
you know what that means, right? You know you got
to do surgery on on snakes and rabbits. She was like, no,
I only want to do puppies. I said, okay, cool.

(43:13):
I was like, you also know that you need to
be good at math science and you got to go
to college and you got to go to this other school.
After that, she was like, Nah, I just want to
I just want to watch puppies. I said, So it
sounds like you just want to have like a puppy
babysitting situation. And yeah, she was like, I've never heard
of that before. I was like, yeah, that's exactly what
you want. So I just changed this baby girl's life

(43:36):
because I just gave her some new information.

Speaker 4 (43:39):
So the key that I'm hearing this is what I'm
hearing from both of you.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
The key is listen to them, Yes, listen.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
And I'm looking at them. I'm like, okay, we're out
of time. But and the key is listening. So what
we're all saying for those of us who are listening,
as you listen to mister Benjamin Pucket, and as you
think about Audrey having been given the advice of an accountant,
and when you think about the lesson from the water
Boys and how to channel anger, I think we still

(44:13):
come out with the same lesson today as how to inspire.
And the key is one word. It's listening. We've got
to listen to these young men and these young girls
listen to what they're saying, listen, and it tells us
how they're thinking, right, it tells them not only because
it's not about what they want, just what they want.
Sometimes they don't know what they want until we listen

(44:37):
and are able to give them feedback. And so I
am hoping today that we've got inspiration from mister Benjamin
Pucket or if you will, put his website up there
for us, because he's full of knowledge, he's full of
inspiration and full of ideas, and he's available as a

(44:58):
speaker if you will. And then he's an influencer and
we need somebody influencing positively influencing our young black males
and females on how to think. He also tapped into basically,
if we change our thinking, we change our lives. And
so Benjamin, I want to say thank you, thank you,

(45:19):
thank you, thank you for your yes listen. I will
be reaching back out to you again because you touched
on so many different things, if you will. And Audrey,
I thank you again for being our producer and just
invite you to do what you do.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
My sister closet.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Listen, thank you again.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
This was great.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Whenever we can uplift our youth, we must do so,
be sure to go to be BP inspires and to
find out what Benjamin is doing so you can support
the youth. This is the next generation and we have
to support them and always not just the funding, but
we need to help them think, think outside of the box,
coming to their own mindset about the things they.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
Need to be doing.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
We got to help them think so they can be
prosperous and they can lead in the future. If you
enjoy this episode, be sure to go to lindatinmistries dot
com to listen to past episodes. Also to support the
show and do us a favorite, share with two people,
not one.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
Two people. It's free.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Just share it whether you listen to it on Spotify, Apple,
wherever you listen to share the show want you to
do that. We got more great shows coming up. Be
sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss
an episode. We'll be back in two weeks, same place,
same time. Thank you, Benjamin, Thanks Doctor Chen. Until next time,
make it a great day.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
Then you south go to wwwbp inspires dot com as well.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
All right, bye, everybody, everybody, you've been listening.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
To Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. If you
enjoyed this episode, hit the like God and insure it
with a friend. Be sure to support the show by
going to Lindachinministries dot com. Subscribe to the show so
you never missed an episode, and tune in again in
two weeks at two pm Eastern Santa Until next time,
and keep the faith and keep it real.
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