January 20, 2025 • 48 mins
Dr. Linda P. Chinn is a native of New London, CT who currently resides in Douglasville, GA. She fulfills her mission of uprooting and pulling down false belief systems in the lives of God's people to build them up by planting in them the incorruptible seed of the living Word through her various ministries. Dr. Chinn is an accomplished entrepreneur and the creator of Linda Chinn Ministries as well as the founder of Christian Women in Training Network.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, and good afternoon. Welcome to another
episode of Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. We
are happy that you guys are here today. We got
to first give a happy birthday shout out all the
way to Heaven to doctor Martin Luther King Junior, who
who who has left their mark on history forever and
we always want to recognize him and the work that
he's done. He did and to get us where we
(00:41):
are today. So happy birthday, Doctor King, all the way
up to Heaven. Got a great show with you today.
This is part two of a two part series. Coach
Erica al Anderson and doctor Linda Chen are gonna be
continue their conversation with excuse me, y'all, I just got
my mind is going like this. I got a lot
going on. Anyway, they're gonna continue their conversation. I'm gonna
(01:03):
fall out. I'm gonna let them come back. If you
missed last week episode you want to catch up, go
to the website lind the ten Ministries Dot come to
listen to the last week episode so you can get
caught up.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Now, here's the thing you listen to.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It is live right now, So you're gonna miss the
you're gonna miss the first episode because you're gonna get
the second episode, but anyway, you can still go back
and listen. It's still gonna be relevant, so check out
that episode as well as this episode. Without further ado,
I'm stepping down. I'm gonna bring both of them to
the stage, so stay tuned. Good afternoon, ladies.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Afternoon.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Listen. I want you to. I want to say thank
you for being patient with me today.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I got a lot going on right now and I
am just I feel like I'm mumbling and stumbling all
over the place. But I know you guys got a
great conversation to be had, So I'm gonna step down
and give you guys a stage.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
It is okay, It is okay. All is well, by FA,
All is well. Good afternoon, Coach Erica.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
How are you. I'm amazingly well. How about yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Doing well? Doing well?
Speaker 6 (02:09):
We thank God that we are overcomers.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Yes, yes we are, Yes we are indeed indeed, and.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I just want to I'm glad that we're doing this
in part two. So for you all who missed the
last episode, heal anyway, Coach Erica Anderson a wonderful, authentic
about her father's business woman of God, I love her.
If you don't want to know the truth, she's not
the one to ask.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
But if you do want to know the truth, she'll
tell it to you.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
She even has healing in her voice when you have
conversations with her, There is healing even.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
In her voice.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
And so we're gonna go with the second part today,
and it's about healing after the courageous conversation, because one
of the things we asked her during the last podcast
for the first time listeners is one person decides finally
that they're going to heal away, what is the first step?
And so she explained to us how she gives them
(03:09):
questions and answers and work to do. And so we're
gonna ask her to do a quick recap of that
and then what happens in between the heal anyway and
the courageous kinder conversations.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Coach Anderson, it's always a pleasure being in your presence,
doctor Chen. Again, I want to thank you for the opportunity.
And yes, we're gonna dive in a little bit deeper
on this week about courageous conversations. But initially I just
want to say that when a person comes to me
about starting the healing journey, then that means they have
(03:46):
made a commitment to face what is challenging them. Right,
They've made that commitment, and in making that commitment, you
don't necessarily know what you're committed to, right, because the
healing process itself unfolds as we go. And I was
(04:08):
having a conversation on last week about commitment and commitment
takes on so many different that I mean, it looks different, right,
And so we talked to them about, Okay, so now
you're here, Now you've decided that you want to face it,
are you ready for a courageous conversation? That means are
(04:32):
you ready to go back to what happened? Because you
know when you come to me, yeah, I'm going to
see you for who you are in front of me,
but I'm also going to see some things in your past.
I may see it through discernment, but I want them
(04:52):
to voice activate, right, because a lot of times, when
when people are searching and they're on the healing journey,
they want to be healed, but they don't necessarily want
to admit to what they need to be healed from.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Wow, Okay, so we heard commitment and activate. And this
is the thing too, Coach, I think we got to
give it up for people who have the courage to
come to you because that can't be easy, right that
part right there. Let me go to her because I'm
dealing with this. And so, how do you do you
(05:31):
start off with encouraging them? How do you start off
with them with this courage courageous conversation?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Well, first of all, before they even come to me,
I've already prayed and I've already asked God to send
me those people who are ready to take this journey.
So I know that there's already something stirring on the
inside of them. Okay before they come, right, Because we
(05:57):
talked about this last night. I'm not for everybody, but
the ones that I'm for, I am one hundred and
ten percent for you and for for the process. And
so it really takes courage because courage means that there's
gonna be some fear. Right. If there's not gonna be
anything that you're gonna be fearful about or something that
(06:18):
you don't want to handle, you don't need courage for that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
So I applaud them for their courage because it takes
courage first of all, to realize that you're broken. Oh
my goodness, that takes courage. You can feel brokenness and
not want to admit that it's where you are. So
(06:44):
when they come to me, they've already had some level
of admission to being broken.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
That is huge, huge, huge, huge huge, because something you
said during the last show too, that women, men and
women of God are broken too. Some of us are
broken too, right, We're not exempt from the brokenness. And
so on that level you can relate as a human being.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You can relate to that for sure.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And when the anointing and the experience comes in that
makes you, that gives you the power, that gives you
the ability, that gives you the credibility that people need
and that they're looking for when they come to someone
who will heal them. And so the thing about it
is having the conversation is one thing, is a huge thing,
(07:39):
because I'm sure you touch on things that people don't
even want to mis Yes, it took courage to come
to you. Yes, I've done the work now, coach, Yes
I've committed myself to this process. But then what comes
to my mind is when you start having this courageous conversation.
Do you find that there are several airs of brokenness
(08:02):
that you need to have in one long courageous conversations
or do you break them up into different conversations.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
I really try to break them up because it's a journey, right,
and so we can't we can't go from from A
all the way to Z. For some people, I got
to I've got to first of all, get them to
believe that they are who God says they are.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
That's huge, right.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
So we gotta we gotta stop that. We can't even
deal with rejection. We can't even deal with trauma, we
can't even deal with more less station, we can't deal
with any of that until you believe that you are
who God says you are. So we have to start there.
That's why I take them in steps because I cannot.
I cannot help you and I cannot get you to
(08:51):
see what God has wanted to do for you if
you don't believe that you are who He says you are. Right,
that's that's where we're geting.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
So that that, to me, that's like a breakthrough. They
need a breakthrough first. Yeah, Well, just believe that they
are who God said they are, So you're helping them
get to that place. So do you inform them that
a conversation is coming? Like, how do you prepare them
(09:25):
to have this courageous conversation?
Speaker 5 (09:28):
You know, initially in the intake process, we talk about
the different steps to the journey, and so we talk about,
you know, we're gonna discover, We're gonna we're gonna I'm
going to to share conversations with you that are courageous
because I need for you to know who you're dealing
with outside of what I do. Mm hmm right, Because
(09:53):
I need them to understand that I am a person
that can be trusted. I can be trusted with you
in this butarticular area. Right, Because I don't believe in
just coming to you as a coach. I'm coming to
you as Erica, Okay, you as a sister in Christ,
writes up. Because I want to develop a relationship with
(10:16):
you because things are going to get deep and I
need you to feel comfortable with me in that space
with you when you start revealing all of these things
about what happened in your past or or or how
you're currently feeling.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Right, Because we go into we go into past traumas
we go into what triggers you currently, we go into
what are you doing to contribute to your current woundedness?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Oh oh, oh oh, I don't think we're ready for
that part of the conversation.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
You mean, I'm just saying what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
You mean, we contribute sometimes to what other hindrance.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
We absolutely do. And I'm gonna raise my hand first,
We absolutely do. Everything that that has wounded us is
not outside of us, right, Sometimes we have relationship issues,
but we're the enabler, right, So this is a whole
(11:25):
This is a whole situation right here. It's not about
it's not about outside factors all the time. Sometimes we
keep us from being free. I keep me from being free,
Oh my goodness, because of what I'm doing, right, especially
with the body of Christ.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Hello, yeah, yeah, yeah, because too many of us pretend
that we're okay and that we're healed, and you know,
we're just lying to ourselves. So give us, like, give
us an example of what a courageous conversation would sound like.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
How you start off with a courageous conversation.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
And here's a question that I always ask tell me
about your childhood that within itself, because when I asked
people to tell me about their childhood, that's going to
(12:30):
that's going to tell me about how they related to
their peers. Were they bullied, how did they feel, did
they have an experience with a teacher? What was it
like in your home? What was a relationship with your mother?
What was your relationship with your father? Were they there?
Did you have siblings, what was that relationship like? So, so,
(12:54):
tell me about your childhood is really a loaded question,
it really is. And so when when they start to
tell me about their childhood, then I'm listening. I'm listening
for certain things, right, and as an only child, I'm
listening for how did you how did you deal with others?
(13:18):
Were you were you? Did you grow up feeling alone?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Right?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
If a parent is not there, how was your relationship
with them? Now, how did that make you feel that
your daddy left h Right, So that that kind of
gives that kind of opens the door for me to
ask further clarifying questions him.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Now, so now I'm getting different questions to ask. Now
I'm hearing that's fine, that's fine, that's so.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
Now this is Linda talking. This this is me to me.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's why it is important to have someone who is
a believer.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
To help you with your healing.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
And this is why I say this, when you are
walking with the Lord, you can be a believer not
walking with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Now you are walking with.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
The Lord, and in your word and receiving what the
Word is saying, you develop even the more the gift
of desernment, you have more of an ear to hear.
So I'm believing that as you hear people respond to
the questions about their childhood, that you start deserning and
(14:40):
picking up some things that may be a clinical approach
may not be able to pick up on. So will
that sometimes do you save that for later or does
that sometimes take you to a place where you say,
I've got to deal with this right now.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
And sometimes, depending on what is currently manifesting right and
the severity of it, we may have to like say, okay,
I think we need to deal with that particular relationship
that you had. And there are times when there may
(15:21):
be some trauma that some trauma Trump's other trauma, Okay, okay, right,
So there may be some things that I saw or
that I heard during that conversation that can be dealt
with later. But again, if this is something that I
see that is, let's just say, for instance, hindering you
(15:42):
in your relationship with your husband, or hindering you in
your relationship with your fact. We need to deal with
that right now. Right Other things perhaps may may be
a little lower in terms of priority, but I'm always
trying to discern. Okay, give me a target, show me
(16:03):
where to start, because sometimes people come to you and
it's just not one thing.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Right, You've got several things that several challenges. There are
several things that are triggered. There's several trauma. I was
having a conversation with my therapist some time ago and
I was telling her some things. She's like, have you
ever had any trauma in your life? Oh? No, I'm not.
And after the conversation, she said, you had trauma.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Oh, so were you not telling the whole truth or
you just didn't see it as trauma.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
I did not see it as trauma because at that
time I was falling into what most of us women
fall into, Oh I handled that, Oh wow, When in
fact that handled me wow. So just because you can
handle something, and just because you can put on your
(16:58):
makeup and your right and that does not mean it
was not trauma. Just because you put on your big
girl whatever and you strutted on and you feel like
you got past it because you moved on, does not
(17:18):
mean it was trauma. And that's why I asked those
conversations because some people may have thought, oh, it's normal
for my parents to have, you know, been doing this
and that in front of me. It's normal that you
know he was gone for six seven months at a time.
That no, ma'am, that was trauma, and it impacted you
(17:40):
so much so that you have normalized it.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
My God, in that deception, right, in that deception. So
it's not only that the enemy of our souls deceive
us sometimes are normalizing things. We are deceiving our selves
and that we're here. We think we don't need to
(18:04):
be healed.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Or we've tucked it away. We've tucked it away to
the extent that it's not in the forefront of my mind.
So I must be good. No, you're good until the
until Johnny pushes that button and you realize it's really
a trigger and you're treating Johnny like James, and James
(18:28):
did it and Johnny didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I know, she's talking to somebody we know you're helping us,
you're helping us coach, you're helping us elder. So so
then that that for me that begs the question, then
do you Has anyone gotten to a place where they
just thot, Okay, no, I don't I don't want to
deal with this. Do they do they get an opportunity
(18:55):
to pick and choose what you're.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Going to help them through.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Can they say, like, for instance, well now I don't
want to talk about that, because I think I'm okay
with that, So let's talk about this.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Not really, not because I'm doing you a disservice if
I let you pick and choose, because I feel like
if you're coming to me and we've progressed to a
point to where you know, we've gotten into the discovery
part and we've done all these then I feel like
you really, you really want it, So I'm I'm I'm available.
(19:27):
That's that's when the heart, the courageous conversation has to
come from me, like do you do you you know,
just like Jesus asked him, do you do you want
to be made whole?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Like real? Or do you want to just keep sitting
at the pool waiting on something? No, because understand this.
Sometimes people will come and and they may have they
might want a cherry pick, right, They might want to
just say, Okay, I want to I want to deal
(20:01):
with I want to deal with this rejection, but leave
the molestation alone. Well, we got to deal with the molestation,
because that's why you feel rejected.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You're helping them put the pieces together.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Right, See, they they want to deal with the fruit,
and I really want to deal with the root.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
So so I think, you know, coming to someone who's
kind of you know, that deals with healing and deliverance
and and and fruit and and all of that, I
try to help them understand that this is what you're seeing,
but that's really not what it is really coming from this.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
So then you're helping them through denial and too pretty much.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Yeah, because you just you may be you may feel like, Okay,
I don't I don't know why I feel rejected. I
don't know why. You know, it just seems like I
just I just deal with this. But then when we
go back to what happened in your childhood, Well, my
dad left when I was three and we haven't had
any contact with him since. Okay, so let's talk about that.
(21:14):
What did that make you feel?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Like?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
How did you interact with other kids whose fathers were
in the hat? And that's just an example. But I
think what what I do is I help people connect
the dots because a lot of times, when we're of
you know, we're adults, when we feel like what we're
dealing with is the hearing now, but we're dealing with
(21:40):
a six year old boy or a thirteen year old girl.
We have not moved emotionally from that place. Yeah, we've aged,
but we've not matured.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
So there are some of us who don't realize so
and and friendships sometimes there are some of us who
don't realize when you get close to people in a
relationship and they start to see who you are and
(22:19):
to understand why you're responding the way you're responding. And
but they play the victim, right, You have people who
play the victim and don't see themselves as playing the victim.
I'm the victim and so and so and they did this,
and they stopped talking to me, and and and they
looked at me crazy, and they didn't speak to me.
(22:40):
And I don't think we realize that when we say
things like that all the time.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
To me, that is a sure sign that you need
healing someplace.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Absolutely, absolutely, And I wrote some notes because I'm wanted
to make sure up. So that kind of falls into
but I don't know, sef limit beliefs, like we believe
that we're not we're not worthy of relationship, and so
we kind of sabotage and and and we have a
(23:12):
a skewed perception because if you've if you've been wounded
and you in it, and it's come in the area
of friendships, then every time that there is a I
don't know, disagreement or you guys aren't aligned on something,
then you'll automatically going to default to that relationship that
(23:33):
you had that didn't turn out well. And so now
it's like you you she didn't invite me to the party,
she didn't invite me out to lunch. Well, maybe she
she didn't want you to be with that group. She
wanted to invite you just the two of you, right,
(23:54):
But because somebody else left you out yeah, in the past,
then you bring that yeah, and and then you and
then you get up and then you end up saying
I don't I don't do girls because they you know, yes,
I don't. I don't. I don't do women because they
do too much.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Speaker 5 (24:17):
And and and it's okay that you make decisions about
what you do socially, but make that decision from a
whole place, not from a broken place.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Say that again.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Make that decision from a whole place, not from a
broken place. Don't. Don't base it on the fact that
Sally did this. Base it on the fact that I
just don't want to go out with three women today.
And that's okay mm hmmm. But I think a lot
of times we make our decisions based on a broken
(24:51):
place instead of a whole place.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So then do people ever get angry with you when
you have these courageous conversations?
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Have anybody? Has anybody gotten upset or angry during the conversation.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I don't necessarily say they got angry, but they it's like,
not angry, but maybe surprised that that is. You know, Yeah,
I don't get upset. Not well you know what, if
(25:29):
they did, I didn't know about it.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
And because here's the thing. Healing is gonna hurt. Healing
is getting down in the trenches with people. Healing is
like you gonna uncover yourself. You should be naked and
unafraid in the process. I would say maybe embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Because it's gonna uncover something is that maybe you didn't
want anybody else to know, but not angry, but like
you know what, I you know, I'm a woman of
God and I you know I'm you got me?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So then do you help them through the shame?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Absolutely, that's a whole nother thing that they're dealing with
now that they may not even realize.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
That's a whole nother thing because and I and I
let them know up front. This process is going to
take it's going to peel down some layers. This process
is going to hurt. This process is going to get
ugly before it gets pretty. Like I don't, I don't,
I don't go into it with it like, oh girl,
(26:44):
it's gonna be No, it's not. If you're gonna be
if you're gonna be real with me, and I'm going
to be real with you, it is going to get ugly.
But I can promise you if you stick in the process,
you're gonna get what it is that you said to me.
You wanted to get out of this at the onset,
(27:08):
and people have to be ready for that, and sometimes
they're not, and that's okay. I would rather you admit
to me that you're not, because it is it is work.
It is work.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Sounds like draining work sometimes too right.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Because you the the deeper you go, the more levels
there are, and the person determines how deep they want
to go. We can stay surfaced all day long, but
that's a disservice to you.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
M So do you do I know you do this
one on one coach, and do you do any healing workshops?
Tell us what a workshop, not a conference, but like
a workshop or healing seminar might look like.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
A healing seminar is pretty much like a teaching, even
though there's there's opportunity for greater work, like near the
end or in breakout sessions. But basically it is a
teaching because I don't believe that a majority of the
people know what the inner healing journey looks like. So
(28:27):
you so I lay a foundation about what that looks like,
and I give them some examples of some things that
they may be doing that they might not have considered
as falling under rejection, Like say, for instance, people pleasing.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
Okay, okay, right, and and.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
There's a difference between you know, trying to you know,
accommodate somebody, but then there's the extreme people pleasing, when
it's that's just everything that you do falls under people pleasing.
And you're pleasing people because you don't want to get rejected.
(29:14):
You're pleasing people because you always you don't want them
to find fault in you. You're pleasing them because you
always want them to be around you. So those are
those are the things that I talk about in the
workshops because a lot of times we'll just be navigating
this life and we're thinking, we're we've normalized so many things,
(29:35):
but these are strategies that we've we've come up with
so that we don't get hurt.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
So do you just do this in the adult arena
or do you deal with young adults, teens, children? What's
the gamut of what you do? What's the way?
Speaker 5 (29:53):
Right right now, it's it's just adults. But I do
see in the future that you know, especially teens, yeah,
teen girls, because there's this whole you know, and I
have an eighteen year old, so I kind of see
some things with her and her peer group. There's this
(30:15):
whole mean girl syndrome. There's this whole if I don't
live up to the Instagram standards and I'm not enough.
So there's a lot of work in the area of
self esteem that I believe is needed with young girls.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
You know, I love that, and we have I have
a Bible study we do every other week with young
girls and the young there's a young man, young people,
and some of the things they ask about lead me
to what to talk about in scripture. I dealt with
low self esteem and low self worth for years and
(30:54):
I got my healing through this in the scriptures because
once I realized who God is. Now God says this
about me, but this one's saying this one about me.
I have a choice who I'm gonna believe? Right, So,
how do you in a real sense, because this is
real talk. Yes, this is faith based. Yes, you and
I believe in God and we do it through the
(31:16):
Word and under the anointing and in the power of
the Holy Spirit. How do you bring that to people
who don't know Christ and or been to church and
been hurt in the church or by the church. How
do you bring that into that they will receive or
able to receive, the healing of what you.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
Have to offer. Generally, I do people of faith, but
if I were to deal with people that are not
a faith, there are ways that you can present the
scripture and they don't feel like you're shooting the Bible
down their throat. Come on here, right, because you know
(31:56):
I get a chance to speak in different forms. I'm
still taking me But if it's not faith based, I
know how to say what I need to say without
referencing scripture.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
That's wisdom and that's what esther. Have you read the books?
Speaker 4 (32:10):
We understand that clearly, right, and that's why we have
the wisdom of God that goes with us. That's how
we reach the lost and right, and that's how we
reach the unchurched.
Speaker 6 (32:22):
And those who are without us.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Do you have you found yourself where you've ever had
to partner with any health or wellness organizations to aid
in your own healing process?
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Absolutely, Therapy and Jesus is an awesome combination because here's
the thing. You can't You cannot. You cannot give to
the extent that I give in the healing journey of
others without making sure that I am staying where I
(33:01):
need to be in my own headspace. M h if
that makes sense. Not only not only that, like I
wouldn't I wouldn't share with people if I didn't have
a coach or a therapist.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Say more.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
The reason I say that is because I want to
I want to come to people from a pure place,
and life happens to us all, all of us, whether
you whether you are a coach, that coach is healing
or not. So I want to make sure not only
am am I as pure a vessel as I can
(33:40):
be to serve others, but I want to make sure
that that I don't get entangled because I'm helping everybody
else that I that I don't know how to deal
with my home stuff.
Speaker 6 (33:54):
So when I'm asking, so, do you have to sometimes
bring in somebody else or consult like a wellness organization
if if if something you feel that that's out of
your realm of expertise, like do you partner with other organizations?
Speaker 5 (34:09):
Absolutely? I do have two therapists, both of them that
were that attended my most recent conference that I will
share information with them because I feel like sometimes when
you go through a healing journey with a coach, there's
only sometimes there are situations that call for a licensed
(34:33):
professional counselor to help you on a on a more
regular basis, to help you strategize. Right, Okay, now you're
now you, now you now you've been healed? How do
you walk that out?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Okay? I love it?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
You know how how do how do I keep? How
do I maintain that?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Okay? I get it, I get it.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
I yeah, because because there are certain things that come
up and you're like, Okay, this is not in my wheelhouse.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Mm hmmm hm.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Right, I can't. I'm not prepared to deal with you
with this, but I can refer you to this person.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 5 (35:20):
I know we can refer, can refer out for people
because I'm all about you getting to where you need
to be. And if that means you you stop, you
stop by here momentarily and then I and I you know,
send you to somebody else that can take you the
next regular rate, then then that's absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
And that's the responsible thing to do.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
Amen, as a coach, I love that absolutely. Well, Listen,
you and I both know Audrey probably back there taking
her notes, right, Audrey, come on back and let us
know what coach has said to waken you up and
to live in you and got you excited today.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
You know it's interesting. Thank you'd so much.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
God.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
You know, you don't know that you're not heal until
you know that you're not here. I have two brothers,
and one brother was by my mom and my dad,
and my second brother was by my dad and his mistress.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Who became his wife.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
But one my baby brother, said to me one time,
he said, we had a discussion about something.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
He said, stop blaming me for daddy leaving, y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
M And I had no clue that that's what I
was doing. And when he said that to me, it
was like, am I really doing that?
Speaker 2 (36:41):
But that's what he said to me.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
And I can't remember what the conversation was, but at
that point I realized I wasn't as hell as I
thought I was. I wasn't as grown up as I
thought I was. And he sure hit me with that,
and I said, wow, that's crazy. So it made me
think about that because a lot of some times we
think we're here, like you said, we think we're here.
(37:03):
We think that you know, we got it handled, and
it shows up in different places in different ways, and
my brother was raised by my dad and his mom,
and we.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Became closer when they both both his parents passed. He
came to live with me in Jersey.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So we had never had like a real strong like relationship,
and we still don't. Like he came to live with me,
but that was an opportunity for me to kind of
get to know him a little bit better. And I
realized I thought I was good.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I thought when my dad.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Came to my wedding that I was healed because he
and I had a very rocky relationship, but he and
my other brother had the best relationship, and I still
I could not figure out why, Like, why do you
have such a good relationship with this man who left
us right?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
That was my thing in my head, But I never
questioned question. And yes, so my question to you is,
do you think you're healed now? Do you feel like
you're healed?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Sometimes?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Sometimes I do because I find myself still talking about this,
even when I even when my dad and I had
made peace with each other.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
He came to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
He walked me down the aisle, which was the only
thing he had done for me since I was twelve
and I was thirty six at the time, so so for.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Twenty four years he had done nothing for me. And
he came to the.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Wedding and I remember my husband saying, you're going to
cry when you walk in and walk down, and I
was like, You're not gonna cry.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
This is me. I'm not going to cry.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
And as soon as I stepped over the threshold of
the church, I bust out and started crying.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Literally like one foot over the threshold. I started crying.
But I know it was because he was there.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
And so sometimes I think I'm half halfway here, but
not fully because I found myself still talking about this
same thing that I thought.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I was really healed from.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
And when I listened to my brother talk about my dad,
my other my the one that's my by my mom,
it's like they had like the first relationship and it
was It's crazy. Now my brother not super tight, but
he's like one of my best friends. But I listened
to him say things about my father, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yeah, I don't. The stuff you talk about is like, yeah,
I don't. I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
So then that's why people like Elder Anderson is important
to us. Right, Yep, this is exactly why so when
we realize that we're not healed, and I would love
for you to put her information back up if you can,
or because we really want people to know how to
(39:32):
get in touch with her, not only for what she brings,
but even for some of those places and people that
she can refer us to right to bring healing.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
So we want to be able to share her.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Information about her ministry and what she does because it's important.
And I hope somebody listening today who understands now based
on even what Audrey just shared, do you have a
story like Audrey's that you keep talking about or you
keep thinking about.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
That now you know?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Just like Audrey said when her brother made that comment,
I realized then I wasn't healed.
Speaker 6 (40:10):
If you realize today.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Just from listening to that and things that Coach said,
you can reach her. There is her information on the body.
Is there anything else that you want to share or
something you want to say to Audrey Coach?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Just one thing? Just about the information. It's at Erica
v as in Victor Anderson. That would be my Instagram
handle and anybody could contact me. What I want to
say to you, Audrey. First of all, I want to
just publicly say that I would love to have a
(40:49):
conversation with you and no cost to you, just to
kind of kind of walk through some of that with you,
and just I would I would love to encourage you
to kind of write out some things concerning your relationship
(41:11):
with your father and what you would like to see happen,
and I would love to help you navigate that process
because we want you totally here. I believe that God,
when he's ready to deal with something, he causes us
to enter, you know, to connect with somebody that has
the ability to help us with that, And because you're
(41:34):
continuing to talk about it, then that's that's the Holy
Spirit right saying Okay, let's deal with this because I
believe that there are some things that He has called
you to do that are going to be easier once
you become whole in that area. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (41:52):
It does? It does.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
And I think I've shared this about before. Because of
my relationship with my father, I have all always felt like.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I just took me up. I've always felt like I
had to prove myself to him.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
So everything I've ever done was really big. The smallest
thing was small. But because I felt like I had
to prove myself it was really big, so I could
take the smallest thing and turn it into something gargantuous
to the point where I can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Anymore because it's too big. And I felt like that
had a lot to do with me trying to prove
myself to him.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
What was interesting about him was he kept everything that
was ever written about me in a suitcase. So when
he passed away, he had a suitcase with all of
the magazine articles, all of the stuff that had ever
been written about me in a suitcase. And this guy
came up to my brother and I at the funeral
and said, you know, your father was so proud of
you guys. He talked about you all the time, and
(42:50):
he never talked to me. He talked to my other brother,
but he never talked to me. So when I found
the suitcase in his house when we went to go
see it, it had all of my articles.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Everything about me.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
It's like he was keeping track of everything I did.
And that was pretty interesting.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
So I feel like.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I started to heal more back, like even more, because
I mean he passed in two thousand and six. That
was two thousand and six when I found out twenty
and eleven, I realized I wasn't here, But it was
just interesting to see that he kept all of that
stuff about me and for me, me.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Trying to prove to him that I was worthy.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
I guess has held me back a lot in life
from the things that I feel like I could have
achieved and you shan't openly. I'm not embarrassed about seeing
these things because I feel like somebody needs to hear it.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
So yeah, yeah, I feel like I know I still
have healing to do.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I have done a lot of work on myself because
I would not have gotten this far had I not.
But I feel like I still got a little bit
more to do because I feel like my mission is
even bigger than it was before.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
And she will help you do that.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
And so one thing too that we have to remember,
because that suitcase says a lot, is that the people
sometimes who caused us hurt were broken people also, right,
And I'm sure Coach would talk to you and anyone
else who wants to reach out to her, that we've
got to understand that we are all broken in some
(44:22):
areas of our life and we all need to work on.
As Coach called it, that healing journey. She called it
a journey. It's a journey, and so I know we've
run out of time, and so Coach, I would love
to give you the last words, Audrey, thank you for
being open and thank you or think that.
Speaker 6 (44:39):
Because I believe you help somebody today.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
Coach again, this has been amazing. I have just enjoyed
so much the dialogue with you, and I just want
to encourage the listeners. There's no wound to be that
cannot be healed. And I believe that we are entering
(45:04):
into a season where God is requiring a return on
his investment, and in order for us to give him
that return, we have got to be whole. We have
got to be whole. We have got to be whole
even in those areas that we think we're okay in
(45:29):
absolutely absolutely, and we don't want to be the ones
to hurt others because of our hurt.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:37):
Yeah, awesome, ladies, Thank you, Coach, Thank you for your Yes,
you have no idea how much feedback.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Earned.
Speaker 4 (45:48):
And En Jordan, I think you've even helped some people
on their healing journey. So we look forward to Coach
coming back, don't we.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Yeah, this was listen, I wasn't expecting any of this.
I wrote my our little notes.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
But I guess it was something that I needed to
hear today.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
So thank you for sharing, and thank you for you know,
allowing people to get the healing that they need and
supporting them, especially women with the things they are going through,
because we suffering solace most of the time, because especially
black women, because we're too proud to say, you know
what I need, Hey I need help, or hey.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
I don't have it. You know, I got it under control.
I got this. That's what we do. That's what we do.
So thank you so much for that.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Thank you for introducing coach Erica to us. Awesome because
without you, we would not have met her.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
We give God the glory because he makes a connection. Listen,
we've got an exciting, exciting topic coming up in February.
You all stay tuned, and all y'all do what all
Dry tells you to do. What's all you're going to
tell you to do?
Speaker 1 (46:54):
All right, So what you need to do if you
enjoyed this episode any of the other episodes, and if
even if you didn't see the other episode, go back
and look at the other episode and subscribe to the channel,
share this with somebody. We can't be too proud to
get help. We can't be too proud to share ours,
to share our pain, because our pain could be the
medicine that somebody else needs. To stay right here with us,
(47:14):
because a lot of people suffering right now, and they
need to hear these messages. They need to know that
there's help. They need to know that the little girl
that's inside of them can be healed.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Go to Lindasharemanistries dot com from more information. If you
have not subscribed, subscribe to the show. All of your
subscriptions help her keep doing the work that she's doing
and bringing on the best people that she brings on.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
So thank you. Thank you. Back again in two weeks,
same place, same time.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Until next time, my friends, Until next time, make it
a great day by everybody.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Peace on con Con Country. Pastry back the FA
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, and good afternoon. Welcome to another
episode of Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. We
are happy that you guys are here today. We got
to first give a happy birthday shout out all the
way to Heaven to doctor Martin Luther King Junior, who
who who has left their mark on history forever and
we always want to recognize him and the work that
he's done. He did and to get us where we
(00:41):
are today. So happy birthday, Doctor King, all the way
up to Heaven. Got a great show with you today.
This is part two of a two part series. Coach
Erica al Anderson and doctor Linda Chen are gonna be
continue their conversation with excuse me, y'all, I just got
my mind is going like this. I got a lot
going on. Anyway, they're gonna continue their conversation. I'm gonna
(01:03):
fall out. I'm gonna let them come back. If you
missed last week episode you want to catch up, go
to the website lind the ten Ministries Dot come to
listen to the last week episode so you can get
caught up.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Now, here's the thing you listen to.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It is live right now, So you're gonna miss the
you're gonna miss the first episode because you're gonna get
the second episode, but anyway, you can still go back
and listen. It's still gonna be relevant, so check out
that episode as well as this episode. Without further ado,
I'm stepping down. I'm gonna bring both of them to
the stage, so stay tuned. Good afternoon, ladies.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Afternoon.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Listen. I want you to. I want to say thank
you for being patient with me today.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I got a lot going on right now and I
am just I feel like I'm mumbling and stumbling all
over the place. But I know you guys got a
great conversation to be had, So I'm gonna step down
and give you guys a stage.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
It is okay, It is okay. All is well, by FA,
All is well. Good afternoon, Coach Erica.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
How are you. I'm amazingly well. How about yourself?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Doing well? Doing well?
Speaker 6 (02:09):
We thank God that we are overcomers.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
Yes, yes we are, Yes we are indeed indeed, and.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I just want to I'm glad that we're doing this
in part two. So for you all who missed the
last episode, heal anyway, Coach Erica Anderson a wonderful, authentic
about her father's business woman of God, I love her.
If you don't want to know the truth, she's not
the one to ask.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
But if you do want to know the truth, she'll
tell it to you.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
She even has healing in her voice when you have
conversations with her, There is healing even.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
In her voice.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
And so we're gonna go with the second part today,
and it's about healing after the courageous conversation, because one
of the things we asked her during the last podcast
for the first time listeners is one person decides finally
that they're going to heal away, what is the first step?
And so she explained to us how she gives them
(03:09):
questions and answers and work to do. And so we're
gonna ask her to do a quick recap of that
and then what happens in between the heal anyway and
the courageous kinder conversations.
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Coach Anderson, it's always a pleasure being in your presence,
doctor Chen. Again, I want to thank you for the opportunity.
And yes, we're gonna dive in a little bit deeper
on this week about courageous conversations. But initially I just
want to say that when a person comes to me
about starting the healing journey, then that means they have
(03:46):
made a commitment to face what is challenging them. Right,
They've made that commitment, and in making that commitment, you
don't necessarily know what you're committed to, right, because the
healing process itself unfolds as we go. And I was
(04:08):
having a conversation on last week about commitment and commitment
takes on so many different that I mean, it looks different, right,
And so we talked to them about, Okay, so now
you're here, Now you've decided that you want to face it,
are you ready for a courageous conversation? That means are
(04:32):
you ready to go back to what happened? Because you
know when you come to me, yeah, I'm going to
see you for who you are in front of me,
but I'm also going to see some things in your past.
I may see it through discernment, but I want them
(04:52):
to voice activate, right, because a lot of times, when
when people are searching and they're on the healing journey,
they want to be healed, but they don't necessarily want
to admit to what they need to be healed from.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Wow, Okay, so we heard commitment and activate. And this
is the thing too, Coach, I think we got to
give it up for people who have the courage to
come to you because that can't be easy, right that
part right there. Let me go to her because I'm
dealing with this. And so, how do you do you
(05:31):
start off with encouraging them? How do you start off
with them with this courage courageous conversation?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Well, first of all, before they even come to me,
I've already prayed and I've already asked God to send
me those people who are ready to take this journey.
So I know that there's already something stirring on the
inside of them. Okay before they come, right, Because we
(05:57):
talked about this last night. I'm not for everybody, but
the ones that I'm for, I am one hundred and
ten percent for you and for for the process. And
so it really takes courage because courage means that there's
gonna be some fear. Right. If there's not gonna be
anything that you're gonna be fearful about or something that
(06:18):
you don't want to handle, you don't need courage for that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
So I applaud them for their courage because it takes
courage first of all, to realize that you're broken. Oh
my goodness, that takes courage. You can feel brokenness and
not want to admit that it's where you are. So
(06:44):
when they come to me, they've already had some level
of admission to being broken.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
That is huge, huge, huge, huge huge, because something you
said during the last show too, that women, men and
women of God are broken too. Some of us are
broken too, right, We're not exempt from the brokenness. And
so on that level you can relate as a human being.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You can relate to that for sure.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
And when the anointing and the experience comes in that
makes you, that gives you the power, that gives you
the ability, that gives you the credibility that people need
and that they're looking for when they come to someone
who will heal them. And so the thing about it
is having the conversation is one thing, is a huge thing,
(07:39):
because I'm sure you touch on things that people don't
even want to mis Yes, it took courage to come
to you. Yes, I've done the work now, coach, Yes
I've committed myself to this process. But then what comes
to my mind is when you start having this courageous conversation.
Do you find that there are several airs of brokenness
(08:02):
that you need to have in one long courageous conversations
or do you break them up into different conversations.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
I really try to break them up because it's a journey, right,
and so we can't we can't go from from A
all the way to Z. For some people, I got
to I've got to first of all, get them to
believe that they are who God says they are.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
That's huge, right.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
So we gotta we gotta stop that. We can't even
deal with rejection. We can't even deal with trauma, we
can't even deal with more less station, we can't deal
with any of that until you believe that you are
who God says you are. So we have to start there.
That's why I take them in steps because I cannot.
I cannot help you and I cannot get you to
(08:51):
see what God has wanted to do for you if
you don't believe that you are who He says you are. Right,
that's that's where we're geting.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
So that that, to me, that's like a breakthrough. They
need a breakthrough first. Yeah, Well, just believe that they
are who God said they are, So you're helping them
get to that place. So do you inform them that
a conversation is coming? Like, how do you prepare them
(09:25):
to have this courageous conversation?
Speaker 5 (09:28):
You know, initially in the intake process, we talk about
the different steps to the journey, and so we talk about,
you know, we're gonna discover, We're gonna we're gonna I'm
going to to share conversations with you that are courageous
because I need for you to know who you're dealing
with outside of what I do. Mm hmm right, Because
(09:53):
I need them to understand that I am a person
that can be trusted. I can be trusted with you
in this butarticular area. Right, Because I don't believe in
just coming to you as a coach. I'm coming to
you as Erica, Okay, you as a sister in Christ,
writes up. Because I want to develop a relationship with
(10:16):
you because things are going to get deep and I
need you to feel comfortable with me in that space
with you when you start revealing all of these things
about what happened in your past or or or how
you're currently feeling.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
M hm.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Right, Because we go into we go into past traumas
we go into what triggers you currently, we go into
what are you doing to contribute to your current woundedness?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Oh oh, oh oh, I don't think we're ready for
that part of the conversation.
Speaker 5 (10:52):
You mean, I'm just saying what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (10:58):
You mean, we contribute sometimes to what other hindrance.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
We absolutely do. And I'm gonna raise my hand first,
We absolutely do. Everything that that has wounded us is
not outside of us, right, Sometimes we have relationship issues,
but we're the enabler, right, So this is a whole
(11:25):
This is a whole situation right here. It's not about
it's not about outside factors all the time. Sometimes we
keep us from being free. I keep me from being free,
Oh my goodness, because of what I'm doing, right, especially
with the body of Christ.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Hello, yeah, yeah, yeah, because too many of us pretend
that we're okay and that we're healed, and you know,
we're just lying to ourselves. So give us, like, give
us an example of what a courageous conversation would sound like.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
How you start off with a courageous conversation.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
And here's a question that I always ask tell me
about your childhood that within itself, because when I asked
people to tell me about their childhood, that's going to
(12:30):
that's going to tell me about how they related to
their peers. Were they bullied, how did they feel, did
they have an experience with a teacher? What was it
like in your home? What was a relationship with your mother?
What was your relationship with your father? Were they there?
Did you have siblings, what was that relationship like? So, so,
(12:54):
tell me about your childhood is really a loaded question,
it really is. And so when when they start to
tell me about their childhood, then I'm listening. I'm listening
for certain things, right, and as an only child, I'm
listening for how did you how did you deal with others?
(13:18):
Were you were you? Did you grow up feeling alone?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Right?
Speaker 5 (13:24):
If a parent is not there, how was your relationship
with them? Now, how did that make you feel that
your daddy left h Right, So that that kind of
gives that kind of opens the door for me to
ask further clarifying questions him.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Now, so now I'm getting different questions to ask. Now
I'm hearing that's fine, that's fine, that's so.
Speaker 6 (13:56):
Now this is Linda talking. This this is me to me.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's why it is important to have someone who is
a believer.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
To help you with your healing.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
And this is why I say this, when you are
walking with the Lord, you can be a believer not
walking with the Lord.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Now you are walking with.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
The Lord, and in your word and receiving what the
Word is saying, you develop even the more the gift
of desernment, you have more of an ear to hear.
So I'm believing that as you hear people respond to
the questions about their childhood, that you start deserning and
(14:40):
picking up some things that may be a clinical approach
may not be able to pick up on. So will
that sometimes do you save that for later or does
that sometimes take you to a place where you say,
I've got to deal with this right now.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
And sometimes, depending on what is currently manifesting right and
the severity of it, we may have to like say, okay,
I think we need to deal with that particular relationship
that you had. And there are times when there may
(15:21):
be some trauma that some trauma Trump's other trauma, Okay, okay, right,
So there may be some things that I saw or
that I heard during that conversation that can be dealt
with later. But again, if this is something that I
see that is, let's just say, for instance, hindering you
(15:42):
in your relationship with your husband, or hindering you in
your relationship with your fact. We need to deal with
that right now. Right Other things perhaps may may be
a little lower in terms of priority, but I'm always
trying to discern. Okay, give me a target, show me
(16:03):
where to start, because sometimes people come to you and
it's just not one thing.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Right, You've got several things that several challenges. There are
several things that are triggered. There's several trauma. I was
having a conversation with my therapist some time ago and
I was telling her some things. She's like, have you
ever had any trauma in your life? Oh? No, I'm not.
And after the conversation, she said, you had trauma.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Oh, so were you not telling the whole truth or
you just didn't see it as trauma.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
I did not see it as trauma because at that
time I was falling into what most of us women
fall into, Oh I handled that, Oh wow, When in
fact that handled me wow. So just because you can
handle something, and just because you can put on your
(16:58):
makeup and your right and that does not mean it
was not trauma. Just because you put on your big
girl whatever and you strutted on and you feel like
you got past it because you moved on, does not
(17:18):
mean it was trauma. And that's why I asked those
conversations because some people may have thought, oh, it's normal
for my parents to have, you know, been doing this
and that in front of me. It's normal that you
know he was gone for six seven months at a time.
That no, ma'am, that was trauma, and it impacted you
(17:40):
so much so that you have normalized it.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
My God, in that deception, right, in that deception. So
it's not only that the enemy of our souls deceive
us sometimes are normalizing things. We are deceiving our selves
and that we're here. We think we don't need to
(18:04):
be healed.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
Or we've tucked it away. We've tucked it away to
the extent that it's not in the forefront of my mind.
So I must be good. No, you're good until the
until Johnny pushes that button and you realize it's really
a trigger and you're treating Johnny like James, and James
(18:28):
did it and Johnny didn't.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I know, she's talking to somebody we know you're helping us,
you're helping us coach, you're helping us elder. So so
then that that for me that begs the question, then
do you Has anyone gotten to a place where they
just thot, Okay, no, I don't I don't want to
deal with this. Do they do they get an opportunity
(18:55):
to pick and choose what you're.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Going to help them through.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Can they say, like, for instance, well now I don't
want to talk about that, because I think I'm okay
with that, So let's talk about this.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
Not really, not because I'm doing you a disservice if
I let you pick and choose, because I feel like
if you're coming to me and we've progressed to a
point to where you know, we've gotten into the discovery
part and we've done all these then I feel like
you really, you really want it, So I'm I'm I'm available.
(19:27):
That's that's when the heart, the courageous conversation has to
come from me, like do you do you you know,
just like Jesus asked him, do you do you want
to be made whole?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Like real? Or do you want to just keep sitting
at the pool waiting on something? No, because understand this.
Sometimes people will come and and they may have they
might want a cherry pick, right, They might want to
just say, Okay, I want to I want to deal
(20:01):
with I want to deal with this rejection, but leave
the molestation alone. Well, we got to deal with the molestation,
because that's why you feel rejected.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
You're helping them put the pieces together.
Speaker 5 (20:18):
Right, See, they they want to deal with the fruit,
and I really want to deal with the root.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Come on, come on.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
So so I think, you know, coming to someone who's
kind of you know, that deals with healing and deliverance
and and and fruit and and all of that, I
try to help them understand that this is what you're seeing,
but that's really not what it is really coming from this.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
So then you're helping them through denial and too pretty much.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Yeah, because you just you may be you may feel like, Okay,
I don't I don't know why I feel rejected. I
don't know why. You know, it just seems like I
just I just deal with this. But then when we
go back to what happened in your childhood, Well, my
dad left when I was three and we haven't had
any contact with him since. Okay, so let's talk about that.
(21:14):
What did that make you feel?
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Like?
Speaker 5 (21:17):
How did you interact with other kids whose fathers were
in the hat? And that's just an example. But I
think what what I do is I help people connect
the dots because a lot of times, when we're of
you know, we're adults, when we feel like what we're
dealing with is the hearing now, but we're dealing with
(21:40):
a six year old boy or a thirteen year old girl.
We have not moved emotionally from that place. Yeah, we've aged,
but we've not matured.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
So there are some of us who don't realize so
and and friendships sometimes there are some of us who
don't realize when you get close to people in a
relationship and they start to see who you are and
(22:19):
to understand why you're responding the way you're responding. And
but they play the victim, right, You have people who
play the victim and don't see themselves as playing the victim.
I'm the victim and so and so and they did this,
and they stopped talking to me, and and and they
looked at me crazy, and they didn't speak to me.
(22:40):
And I don't think we realize that when we say
things like that all the time.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
To me, that is a sure sign that you need
healing someplace.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Absolutely, absolutely, And I wrote some notes because I'm wanted
to make sure up. So that kind of falls into
but I don't know, sef limit beliefs, like we believe
that we're not we're not worthy of relationship, and so
we kind of sabotage and and and we have a
(23:12):
a skewed perception because if you've if you've been wounded
and you in it, and it's come in the area
of friendships, then every time that there is a I
don't know, disagreement or you guys aren't aligned on something,
then you'll automatically going to default to that relationship that
(23:33):
you had that didn't turn out well. And so now
it's like you you she didn't invite me to the party,
she didn't invite me out to lunch. Well, maybe she
she didn't want you to be with that group. She
wanted to invite you just the two of you, right,
(23:54):
But because somebody else left you out yeah, in the past,
then you bring that yeah, and and then you and
then you get up and then you end up saying
I don't I don't do girls because they you know, yes,
I don't. I don't. I don't do women because they
do too much.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Speaker 5 (24:17):
And and and it's okay that you make decisions about
what you do socially, but make that decision from a
whole place, not from a broken place.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Say that again.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Make that decision from a whole place, not from a
broken place. Don't. Don't base it on the fact that
Sally did this. Base it on the fact that I
just don't want to go out with three women today.
And that's okay mm hmmm. But I think a lot
of times we make our decisions based on a broken
(24:51):
place instead of a whole place.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
So then do people ever get angry with you when
you have these courageous conversations?
Speaker 6 (25:03):
Have anybody? Has anybody gotten upset or angry during the conversation.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
I don't necessarily say they got angry, but they it's like,
not angry, but maybe surprised that that is. You know, Yeah,
I don't get upset. Not well you know what, if
(25:29):
they did, I didn't know about it.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
And because here's the thing. Healing is gonna hurt. Healing
is getting down in the trenches with people. Healing is
like you gonna uncover yourself. You should be naked and
unafraid in the process. I would say maybe embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Because it's gonna uncover something is that maybe you didn't
want anybody else to know, but not angry, but like
you know what, I you know, I'm a woman of
God and I you know I'm you got me?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So then do you help them through the shame?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Absolutely, that's a whole nother thing that they're dealing with
now that they may not even realize.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
That's a whole nother thing because and I and I
let them know up front. This process is going to
take it's going to peel down some layers. This process
is going to hurt. This process is going to get
ugly before it gets pretty. Like I don't, I don't,
I don't go into it with it like, oh girl,
(26:44):
it's gonna be No, it's not. If you're gonna be
if you're gonna be real with me, and I'm going
to be real with you, it is going to get ugly.
But I can promise you if you stick in the process,
you're gonna get what it is that you said to me.
You wanted to get out of this at the onset,
(27:08):
and people have to be ready for that, and sometimes
they're not, and that's okay. I would rather you admit
to me that you're not, because it is it is work.
It is work.
Speaker 6 (27:24):
Sounds like draining work sometimes too right.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Because you the the deeper you go, the more levels
there are, and the person determines how deep they want
to go. We can stay surfaced all day long, but
that's a disservice to you.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
M So do you do I know you do this
one on one coach, and do you do any healing workshops?
Tell us what a workshop, not a conference, but like
a workshop or healing seminar might look like.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
A healing seminar is pretty much like a teaching, even
though there's there's opportunity for greater work, like near the
end or in breakout sessions. But basically it is a
teaching because I don't believe that a majority of the
people know what the inner healing journey looks like. So
(28:27):
you so I lay a foundation about what that looks like,
and I give them some examples of some things that
they may be doing that they might not have considered
as falling under rejection, Like say, for instance, people pleasing.
Speaker 6 (28:47):
Okay, okay, right, and and.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
There's a difference between you know, trying to you know,
accommodate somebody, but then there's the extreme people pleasing, when
it's that's just everything that you do falls under people pleasing.
And you're pleasing people because you don't want to get rejected.
(29:14):
You're pleasing people because you always you don't want them
to find fault in you. You're pleasing them because you
always want them to be around you. So those are
those are the things that I talk about in the
workshops because a lot of times we'll just be navigating
this life and we're thinking, we're we've normalized so many things,
(29:35):
but these are strategies that we've we've come up with
so that we don't get hurt.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
So do you just do this in the adult arena
or do you deal with young adults, teens, children? What's
the gamut of what you do? What's the way?
Speaker 5 (29:53):
Right right now, it's it's just adults. But I do
see in the future that you know, especially teens, yeah,
teen girls, because there's this whole you know, and I
have an eighteen year old, so I kind of see
some things with her and her peer group. There's this
(30:15):
whole mean girl syndrome. There's this whole if I don't
live up to the Instagram standards and I'm not enough.
So there's a lot of work in the area of
self esteem that I believe is needed with young girls.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
You know, I love that, and we have I have
a Bible study we do every other week with young
girls and the young there's a young man, young people,
and some of the things they ask about lead me
to what to talk about in scripture. I dealt with
low self esteem and low self worth for years and
(30:54):
I got my healing through this in the scriptures because
once I realized who God is. Now God says this
about me, but this one's saying this one about me.
I have a choice who I'm gonna believe? Right, So,
how do you in a real sense, because this is
real talk. Yes, this is faith based. Yes, you and
I believe in God and we do it through the
(31:16):
Word and under the anointing and in the power of
the Holy Spirit. How do you bring that to people
who don't know Christ and or been to church and
been hurt in the church or by the church. How
do you bring that into that they will receive or
able to receive, the healing of what you.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
Have to offer. Generally, I do people of faith, but
if I were to deal with people that are not
a faith, there are ways that you can present the
scripture and they don't feel like you're shooting the Bible
down their throat. Come on here, right, because you know
(31:56):
I get a chance to speak in different forms. I'm
still taking me But if it's not faith based, I
know how to say what I need to say without
referencing scripture.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
That's wisdom and that's what esther. Have you read the books?
Speaker 4 (32:10):
We understand that clearly, right, and that's why we have
the wisdom of God that goes with us. That's how
we reach the lost and right, and that's how we
reach the unchurched.
Speaker 6 (32:22):
And those who are without us.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Do you have you found yourself where you've ever had
to partner with any health or wellness organizations to aid
in your own healing process?
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Absolutely, Therapy and Jesus is an awesome combination because here's
the thing. You can't You cannot. You cannot give to
the extent that I give in the healing journey of
others without making sure that I am staying where I
(33:01):
need to be in my own headspace. M h if
that makes sense. Not only not only that, like I
wouldn't I wouldn't share with people if I didn't have
a coach or a therapist.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Say more.
Speaker 5 (33:18):
The reason I say that is because I want to
I want to come to people from a pure place,
and life happens to us all, all of us, whether
you whether you are a coach, that coach is healing
or not. So I want to make sure not only
am am I as pure a vessel as I can
(33:40):
be to serve others, but I want to make sure
that that I don't get entangled because I'm helping everybody
else that I that I don't know how to deal
with my home stuff.
Speaker 6 (33:54):
So when I'm asking, so, do you have to sometimes
bring in somebody else or consult like a wellness organization
if if if something you feel that that's out of
your realm of expertise, like do you partner with other organizations?
Speaker 5 (34:09):
Absolutely? I do have two therapists, both of them that
were that attended my most recent conference that I will
share information with them because I feel like sometimes when
you go through a healing journey with a coach, there's
only sometimes there are situations that call for a licensed
(34:33):
professional counselor to help you on a on a more
regular basis, to help you strategize. Right, Okay, now you're
now you, now you now you've been healed? How do
you walk that out?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Okay? I love it?
Speaker 5 (34:52):
You know how how do how do I keep? How
do I maintain that?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Okay? I get it, I get it.
Speaker 5 (34:59):
I yeah, because because there are certain things that come
up and you're like, Okay, this is not in my wheelhouse.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Mm hmmm hm.
Speaker 5 (35:09):
Right, I can't. I'm not prepared to deal with you
with this, but I can refer you to this person.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
I love it. I love it.
Speaker 5 (35:20):
I know we can refer, can refer out for people
because I'm all about you getting to where you need
to be. And if that means you you stop, you
stop by here momentarily and then I and I you know,
send you to somebody else that can take you the
next regular rate, then then that's absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
And that's the responsible thing to do.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
Amen, as a coach, I love that absolutely. Well, Listen,
you and I both know Audrey probably back there taking
her notes, right, Audrey, come on back and let us
know what coach has said to waken you up and
to live in you and got you excited today.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
You know it's interesting. Thank you'd so much.
Speaker 5 (36:07):
God.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
You know, you don't know that you're not heal until
you know that you're not here. I have two brothers,
and one brother was by my mom and my dad,
and my second brother was by my dad and his mistress.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Who became his wife.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
But one my baby brother, said to me one time,
he said, we had a discussion about something.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
He said, stop blaming me for daddy leaving, y'all.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
M And I had no clue that that's what I
was doing. And when he said that to me, it
was like, am I really doing that?
Speaker 2 (36:41):
But that's what he said to me.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
And I can't remember what the conversation was, but at
that point I realized I wasn't as hell as I
thought I was. I wasn't as grown up as I
thought I was. And he sure hit me with that,
and I said, wow, that's crazy. So it made me
think about that because a lot of some times we
think we're here, like you said, we think we're here.
(37:03):
We think that you know, we got it handled, and
it shows up in different places in different ways, and
my brother was raised by my dad and his mom,
and we.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Became closer when they both both his parents passed. He
came to live with me in Jersey.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So we had never had like a real strong like relationship,
and we still don't. Like he came to live with me,
but that was an opportunity for me to kind of
get to know him a little bit better. And I
realized I thought I was good.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I thought when my dad.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Came to my wedding that I was healed because he
and I had a very rocky relationship, but he and
my other brother had the best relationship, and I still
I could not figure out why, Like, why do you
have such a good relationship with this man who left
us right?
Speaker 4 (37:47):
That was my thing in my head, But I never
questioned question. And yes, so my question to you is,
do you think you're healed now? Do you feel like
you're healed?
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Sometimes?
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Sometimes I do because I find myself still talking about this,
even when I even when my dad and I had
made peace with each other.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
He came to my wedding.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
He walked me down the aisle, which was the only
thing he had done for me since I was twelve
and I was thirty six at the time, so so for.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Twenty four years he had done nothing for me. And
he came to the.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Wedding and I remember my husband saying, you're going to
cry when you walk in and walk down, and I
was like, You're not gonna cry.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
This is me. I'm not going to cry.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
And as soon as I stepped over the threshold of
the church, I bust out and started crying.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Literally like one foot over the threshold. I started crying.
But I know it was because he was there.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
And so sometimes I think I'm half halfway here, but
not fully because I found myself still talking about this
same thing that I thought.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
I was really healed from.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
And when I listened to my brother talk about my dad,
my other my the one that's my by my mom,
it's like they had like the first relationship and it
was It's crazy. Now my brother not super tight, but
he's like one of my best friends. But I listened
to him say things about my father, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Yeah, I don't. The stuff you talk about is like, yeah,
I don't. I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (39:11):
So then that's why people like Elder Anderson is important
to us. Right, Yep, this is exactly why so when
we realize that we're not healed, and I would love
for you to put her information back up if you can,
or because we really want people to know how to
(39:32):
get in touch with her, not only for what she brings,
but even for some of those places and people that
she can refer us to right to bring healing.
Speaker 6 (39:42):
So we want to be able to share her.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
Information about her ministry and what she does because it's important.
And I hope somebody listening today who understands now based
on even what Audrey just shared, do you have a
story like Audrey's that you keep talking about or you
keep thinking about.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
That now you know?
Speaker 4 (40:04):
Just like Audrey said when her brother made that comment,
I realized then I wasn't healed.
Speaker 6 (40:10):
If you realize today.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Just from listening to that and things that Coach said,
you can reach her. There is her information on the body.
Is there anything else that you want to share or
something you want to say to Audrey Coach?
Speaker 5 (40:27):
Just one thing? Just about the information. It's at Erica
v as in Victor Anderson. That would be my Instagram
handle and anybody could contact me. What I want to
say to you, Audrey. First of all, I want to
just publicly say that I would love to have a
(40:49):
conversation with you and no cost to you, just to
kind of kind of walk through some of that with you,
and just I would I would love to encourage you
to kind of write out some things concerning your relationship
(41:11):
with your father and what you would like to see happen,
and I would love to help you navigate that process
because we want you totally here. I believe that God,
when he's ready to deal with something, he causes us
to enter, you know, to connect with somebody that has
the ability to help us with that, And because you're
(41:34):
continuing to talk about it, then that's that's the Holy
Spirit right saying Okay, let's deal with this because I
believe that there are some things that He has called
you to do that are going to be easier once
you become whole in that area. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (41:52):
It does? It does.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
And I think I've shared this about before. Because of
my relationship with my father, I have all always felt like.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
I just took me up. I've always felt like I
had to prove myself to him.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
So everything I've ever done was really big. The smallest
thing was small. But because I felt like I had
to prove myself it was really big, so I could
take the smallest thing and turn it into something gargantuous
to the point where I can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Anymore because it's too big. And I felt like that
had a lot to do with me trying to prove
myself to him.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
What was interesting about him was he kept everything that
was ever written about me in a suitcase. So when
he passed away, he had a suitcase with all of
the magazine articles, all of the stuff that had ever
been written about me in a suitcase. And this guy
came up to my brother and I at the funeral
and said, you know, your father was so proud of
you guys. He talked about you all the time, and
(42:50):
he never talked to me. He talked to my other brother,
but he never talked to me. So when I found
the suitcase in his house when we went to go
see it, it had all of my articles.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Everything about me.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
It's like he was keeping track of everything I did.
And that was pretty interesting.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
So I feel like.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
I started to heal more back, like even more, because
I mean he passed in two thousand and six. That
was two thousand and six when I found out twenty
and eleven, I realized I wasn't here, But it was
just interesting to see that he kept all of that
stuff about me and for me, me.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
Trying to prove to him that I was worthy.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
I guess has held me back a lot in life
from the things that I feel like I could have
achieved and you shan't openly. I'm not embarrassed about seeing
these things because I feel like somebody needs to hear it.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
So yeah, yeah, I feel like I know I still
have healing to do.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I have done a lot of work on myself because
I would not have gotten this far had I not.
But I feel like I still got a little bit
more to do because I feel like my mission is
even bigger than it was before.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
And she will help you do that.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
And so one thing too that we have to remember,
because that suitcase says a lot, is that the people
sometimes who caused us hurt were broken people also, right,
And I'm sure Coach would talk to you and anyone
else who wants to reach out to her, that we've
got to understand that we are all broken in some
(44:22):
areas of our life and we all need to work on.
As Coach called it, that healing journey. She called it
a journey. It's a journey, and so I know we've
run out of time, and so Coach, I would love
to give you the last words, Audrey, thank you for
being open and thank you or think that.
Speaker 6 (44:39):
Because I believe you help somebody today.
Speaker 5 (44:41):
Coach again, this has been amazing. I have just enjoyed
so much the dialogue with you, and I just want
to encourage the listeners. There's no wound to be that
cannot be healed. And I believe that we are entering
(45:04):
into a season where God is requiring a return on
his investment, and in order for us to give him
that return, we have got to be whole. We have
got to be whole. We have got to be whole
even in those areas that we think we're okay in
(45:29):
absolutely absolutely, and we don't want to be the ones
to hurt others because of our hurt.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (45:37):
Yeah, awesome, ladies, Thank you, Coach, Thank you for your Yes,
you have no idea how much feedback.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Earned.
Speaker 4 (45:48):
And En Jordan, I think you've even helped some people
on their healing journey. So we look forward to Coach
coming back, don't we.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Yeah, this was listen, I wasn't expecting any of this.
I wrote my our little notes.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
But I guess it was something that I needed to
hear today.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
So thank you for sharing, and thank you for you know,
allowing people to get the healing that they need and
supporting them, especially women with the things they are going through,
because we suffering solace most of the time, because especially
black women, because we're too proud to say, you know
what I need, Hey I need help, or hey.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
I don't have it. You know, I got it under control.
I got this. That's what we do. That's what we do.
So thank you so much for that.
Speaker 5 (46:31):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Thank you for introducing coach Erica to us. Awesome because
without you, we would not have met her.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (46:41):
We give God the glory because he makes a connection. Listen,
we've got an exciting, exciting topic coming up in February.
You all stay tuned, and all y'all do what all
Dry tells you to do. What's all you're going to
tell you to do?
Speaker 1 (46:54):
All right, So what you need to do if you
enjoyed this episode any of the other episodes, and if
even if you didn't see the other episode, go back
and look at the other episode and subscribe to the channel,
share this with somebody. We can't be too proud to
get help. We can't be too proud to share ours,
to share our pain, because our pain could be the
medicine that somebody else needs. To stay right here with us,
(47:14):
because a lot of people suffering right now, and they
need to hear these messages. They need to know that
there's help. They need to know that the little girl
that's inside of them can be healed.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Yeah, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
Go to Lindasharemanistries dot com from more information. If you
have not subscribed, subscribe to the show. All of your
subscriptions help her keep doing the work that she's doing
and bringing on the best people that she brings on.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
So thank you. Thank you. Back again in two weeks,
same place, same time.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Until next time, my friends, Until next time, make it
a great day by everybody.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
Peace on con Con Country. Pastry back the FA
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