August 5, 2025 • 46 mins
Dr. Linda P. Chinn is a native of New London, CT who currently resides in Douglasville, GA. She fulfills her mission of uprooting and pulling down false belief systems in the lives of God's people to build them up by planting in them the incorruptible seed of the living Word through her various ministries. Dr. Chinn is an accomplished entrepreneur and the creator of Linda Chinn Ministries as well as the founder of Christian Women in Training Network.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. This
is the podcast where real life choices need biblical truth
without the flock. Tune in every second and fourth Monday
at dpm in Eastern Standard Time as Doctor Chen shares
faith filled, practical insights to navigate everyday challenges. Get ready
(00:21):
for real talk, real life and real answers.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Good afternoon, Welcome to another episode of Keeping It Real
with Doctor Linda Chen. I'm Audry Bell Curnan, producer of
the show. Got a great show for you today, and
a great guest. His name is mister Amos Dean, and
we canna be.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Talking my father.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Now what exactly does that mean? I'm not quite sure yet,
but you're gonna find out very shortly. Hope you guys
are having a wonderful start to your day. It's a
very rainy day here in Georgia. I feel like it's
raining all over the world. I know I'm borrowing somebody's song,
but anyway, so rainy dayhand Georgia.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Hope you had a good start to your day so far.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
So without further ado, I'm gonna bring up doctor Linda
Chen and her guest, mister Dean.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Thank you, Thank you. Thank you, Audrey. How are you
and amos today? I'm good, wonderful, wonderful, and I love Audrey.
Which is a rainy day in Georgia. You always have
a word and have something to pull from your gut
when you introduce us. I love you, Audrey. I thank
God for how you set the tone for our podcast.
(01:26):
You always make it exciting. And so y'all already know
how we do this. We gotta bring Audrey. She starts
us out and we got to bring her up back
at the end. She brings insight, she gains questions and knowledges,
and she adds to the podcast. So Audrey, thank you
so much, my friend and my sister appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Very welcome. I'll be back.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Amen, Amen, mister Dean, Welcome, welcome, Welcome to the Keeping
It Real with Linda Chen.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Doctor Linda Chin podcast. And I listen.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
I have a bid for this wonderful man of God
and and but I want to share some things that
I personally know about him.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
He is a wonderful uh man of God. And he's
also what I would call, you can't say, a midwife.
But he's also one of those people who will pull
gently pull gifts out of you, and he's a multi
gifted person and I see God elevating him. He is
(02:31):
a father, and he's a devoted Christian, a devoted husband
and father, and he has a wonderful two year old,
Thank God for our baby. And he has a passion
for storytelling. He he's he's he's deep in his faith.
And I watched him as he continued to grow. And
I know you don't know I was going to share this, Amus,
(02:52):
but I watched him as he continues to grow.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
He's humble and teachable, he asks questions, he studies Word
of God, and this is what I am excited most
about his life is that he is a Christian filmmaker
and influencer. And his work and ministry, I would say
Blend's heartfelt narratives and cinematic excellence. What he does, he's
(03:17):
passionate about what makes him excellent, and he reflecting his
commitment to glorifying God through creativity. And you know, when
he's not behind the camera, he loves being with family
and I love that about him. So we're going to
continue with the sanctity of relationships, and today we're gonna
talk about the Father and so amos. Thank you for
(03:40):
joining us.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Is there anything that you want to add about yourself
that I didn't mention?
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Well, I mean, first off, thank you so much for
having me. Is there anything I want? So something about me?
I guess that's not in the bio. I come from
a tribe, it's a very large family.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I'm the youngest of eight.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Actually originally I'm from Louisiana, but I've been in Georgia
basically my whole life.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I did not know that you were from Louisiana. See
that's what's good about these podcasts, right, that's what's good.
So thank you. We see miss Ursula McCleary joined us.
Thank you, minister Ursula. So one thing I want to
ask you is, you know it's said back in the
day that you didn't ask a woman her age, So
I'm glad you're not a woman. So how old were
(04:31):
you a miss when you became a father?
Speaker 6 (04:34):
When I became a father, I was thirty. I was thirty.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
You were thirty years old. Let me tell you why
I asked that question. And I don't know if you
remember this or not. This was my experience with him,
and this is how I know he's authentic. And this
is why one of the reasons I asked him to
be a guest on the show is when his wife
was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
He said to me, he calls me Mama chin. He said,
Mama chin, I can't play with this thing.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
He's I don't want to get emotional, but he said,
I can't play with this thing. He said, I got
to get closer to God because I have to raise
my child in the fear of God. And then he
shared this big English Bible. I don't know if you
remember that, this big Bible. Yeah, that he's shared with me.
But he was so serious about getting closer to God,
(05:25):
not for his sake, not for blessings, but for that
next generation over which he would be a steward.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Do you remember doing that?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
I remember, I do remember that. I remember that. I
remember the Bible.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
It was the sixteen eleven King James version Bible that
I sold you. I remember it like it was yesterday.
And I still have that fear. Tell this's day, I
really do, because it's a serious thing, like being a father,
because I mean, we're we're a steward over this child.
So like the Lord has given me a child to steward,
(05:59):
so It's it's my job to cover, protect and to
pray for wisdom and areas I don't know, so that
I can do what God called me to do being
a father.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
So I love that you use that word protect when
you look at father. It's potcher p a t e
r in the Greek, which means to protect. That's one
of the things that a father does. So you talked
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
About fear and you still kind of feel that way.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Kind of tell me what you felt then and what
you feel now as it relates to your your responsibility
as a father.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Mm okay.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
So first, like, so just to give you kind of
a recap, and I'm pretty sure you probably heard it
growing up too.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
You know how we always have that.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Phrase like we'll we'll see things that our parents would
do and we'll say, oh, well, you know, when i'm
a parent, I'm never gonna do this. It's like that's
when you say it. But now, like, this is the
opportunity to where you're really putting all that stuff to test.
So I always like a fear of mind was because
(07:07):
my father wasn't really present. So in my head, I'm like, okay,
I need to make sure that I'm present.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
I need to make sure i'm there.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I need to make sure that I get wisdom so
that I can cover and protect my child in different areas,
because you know, the enemy is after children.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
You know what, Yeah, exactly, the enemy is after children.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
So it's our job to protect them physically and spiritually.
So so that's that's a fear of mind.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I guess. Just keep keep striving towards God.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
And not not not giving the enemy any kind of room.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
If that makes sense, Yes, it makes perfect sense. And
I'm so glad that you brought that up. We had
Bible study this past Saturday, and I was sharing with
the women. I have a children's Bible study. How the
enemy is after these children's minds and here he'll use anything.
And I love that you said. You said, I pray
for wisdom every day you think about it. You have
(08:06):
a newborn baby, you've got an infant, your first time father.
You need wisdom on how to help your wife right
parent when you're alone with the baby.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
You never had a baby before.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
You talked about your experience with your own dad, So
you need wisdom and how to be a good father,
a present father. Then as the baby grows you know,
getting teeth and crying and teething, and God, I need wisdom.
So I love that you said you need wisdom every day.
And I think sometimes parents maybe some don't ask or
(08:41):
don't even think they need wisdom or a mistake experience
for wisdom.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
What do you think about that experience versus wisdom?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
I think that.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
So just to elaborate, so when you ask, what do
I think like the difference between experience, Yeah, okay, I
think that it's like so you can't really say experience
because you know, every child is different.
Speaker 6 (09:05):
Every child is different, and every child.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Is going to act a different kind of way as
far as personality wise. You know, you might have one
child and they might show a little more temper than
the other one. So you have to know and you
have to have the wisdom to know how to apply
whatever knowledge you know. Pray for understanding so that you
can know how to gently respond to to be able
to to tend to that need if that makes sense
(09:31):
or not. Just like yell out a child because they're screaming, Like,
pray for understanding our knowledge to say, okay, why are
they screaming? Like what's the deeper rooted issue behind it,
so experience, I guess it can kind of even plan
a seed for arrogance and pride as well, because you know,
you can say, oh, well, I experience, I know this,
and I know all of this and all of this,
(09:52):
but but that can that can put you in pride in.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
A sense excellent, excellent, So you can have pride, you know,
for our listeners. Sometimes because you had an experience, you
may not think you don't need to ask for wisdom
because you may think you already know. So when you
found out that your wife, when you first found out
that your wife was pregnant, what were your first thoughts?
Speaker 5 (10:19):
I was excited, I was real excited. Then I was nervous.
I was nervous because this is a new thing, you know,
being a father is new, like the whole the whole
dynamic is new. So so it was it was mostly excitement.
It was nervousness because it's a new territory.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, So being a father, I.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Hope I'm going to state this question, okay in a
good way, because you're letting my minds going places now, right,
So what is the difference I'm a father now between
what you who you need to be versus what you
need to do.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Mmm, let me ponder on that. Yeah, so what's the
difference between who I need to be versus what I
need to do?
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Because just because you became a father doesn't make you
a father.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Yeah yeah, right absolutely, Yeah, So so this is what
I would say, So who who I need to be
slash what I need to be? So for me because
remember when I told you, It all goes back to
like when I told you I would go into that
prayer closet. Yeah, closet was my best friend. And still yeah,
(11:43):
you know, God kind of revealed to me certain things,
certain things about what I needed, what I needed to be.
You know, I have to be present first off, and
even and I'm not going to get off to a
tangent on that, but even you know how the Bible
tells you like, delight yourself and the Lord he'll get
your desires, your heart. So like my heart has always
(12:06):
been to be there and be present because of a childhood,
childhood wound that I had, and the Lord honor that
to where I could even schedule to be there so
I don't miss these important things. You know, when my
daughter start walking or you know, these these these important things.
So I feel like being, you know, being you have
(12:26):
to be a father, you have to have wisdom, you know,
and and that's the difference. That's the difference because the
more you seek the Lord, the more he'll show you
what you need to be.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
So let's talk about that being present thing, because because
a father can be present, can be in the household,
but what do you need to be in your heart?
Because there are fathers who are present who are verbally abusive.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Yeah, there are.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Fathers who are present in body, but they're they're watching
the TV off their home, but all their kids see
them doing is watching TV, watching sports, watching the news.
There present, but maybe all they're doing is maybe drinking
beer and having got you understand what I'm saying to
talk about what you mean when you say being present.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I mean uninterrupted time. I mean showing your daughter or
your son that you're there without any distractions. I mean,
I mean, you know, like being involved with what they like.
Like For example, my daughter, she would have different stages
of things that she likes, So like one minute, it's
(13:37):
like Lucas and now she's in her mini mouse phase
and now you know, we just bought her kitchen sets.
So now like her, her gears are turning because I'm
able to see her imagination for the first time.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Like, if she's in her playroom, what toy.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
Does she gravitate to naturally without me saying, Hey, I
used to play.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
I don't know soccer, so here's the soccer ball.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
So that so that you can do what I did,
you know, like you she likes to do and exploring that.
I feel like, that's that's what I mean when I
say be present, be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You know, I love that.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
So now you said something else where you said you
you watch her, like, what what is she going to
pick up? First, she's got this kitchen, said, She's got
probably stuffed toys and stuffed animals. But when it comes
to this new set, which is a new introducing a
new toy to her, what is she going to gravitate to?
So that led me to the proverb that says, train
up a child in the way they should go, and
(14:34):
when they're old they won't depart. And and so what
you're doing that requires studying your child. Yeah, studying your
child helps you to know the way in which they
should go, meaning their natural bend. What is their natural
bend in life. And so as you study her, tell
us some of the things that you learned about. Yes,
(14:56):
she's just a toddler, but what things has she shown
you that she's leaning toward?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
What if you know, oh, you want me to give
it to you on like the.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Spiritual side, what we noticed? However, you're led so what
what we noticed? Because you know one part as well
about being a father, and my wife does an amazing job
at this as well, but nurturing her spiritual gifts and
identifying them at a young age, I know that my
daughter is going to be an inncessor when we pray,
(15:27):
like we expose her to prayer a lot, so when
we pray, she would literally like touch parts on like
my wife's body or something, and like God would me
and I would pray for whatever part on her body
is hurting or just whatever wherever my daughter touched and
a lot of times my wife would have pain in
(15:49):
that different area. Or even after we pray for my wife,
then she'll say other people's name. She'll say, like only
which is her grandma? And for her grandma, she'll say,
which is her her granddad? And I'm and I'm seeing
and and even you know certain certain people that certain
people that try to like hold her are you know,
(16:10):
and she'll cry or not want to gravitate, Like I
know that she's a deserner, you know.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
So she has the spirit of discernment.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
So and and the one thing I don't ignore that
is she says, hey, she don't want to go somebody.
She's not gonna go to him, and that's what it is.
They might get upset, but hey, that's that's what it is.
So that that's a couple of things on the spiritual
side that that we observed.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Natural side.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Okay, on the natural side that we observed.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
So so that that I observe about her, I know
that she's she's she's gonna be very athletic. She's she loves,
she has a heart for people. She loves Like when
she go inside of a room, she she will wave
and speak to any and everybody.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
She's friendly.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
She she has this this grin or this you know
this grin that she does and it changes every single
it seemed like every peer periodically, it always changed. Like
she has she has a heart for people. She just
loves loves everybody.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
What was the athletic side you were referring to So.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
We have this trampoline set and I didn't teach her
how to do this, but it's it's like these I
guess these bar grips that down from it, and she
literally starts like grabbing it, pulling herself up.
Speaker 6 (17:22):
Doing backflips.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
And I never I never exposed her to that, but
that's just something she just naturally started. I know she's
gonna be an athletic playing some sports, and she's brave.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Obviously that says she's brave as well.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, So what do you want your child and children
as your family grows to know, to think and to
feel about you as your father? What do you want
them to know about you? What do you want them
to think about you? And how do you want them
to feel about you?
Speaker 5 (17:57):
I want them to feel loved. I want them to
feel heard. I want them to feel respected, and I
want them.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
To feel.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
I feel like they can be their authentic self and
they don't have to mold their self in a different
kind of way to be accepted by people. I feel
like a lot of a lot of times we would
go to school and we would try to blend in
to be accepted, and we don't realize when we get older,
(18:26):
a lot of that that childhood trauma are that you know,
that urge to want to fit in, that will be
the root of it. So if we can eradicate that
from the beginning, that's one thing that she won't have
to deal with that her parents had to deal with,
you know.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
So, so little things like.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
That, yeah, which really aren't little, right y?
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah, little at all.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I talked to.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
We don't have any children in the house, but I've
been around children, and I'm around children, even in the
Bible study ministry, and even if late have been in
the presence of children, and that's the most you said
something that they feel the most. They don't feel heard,
They don't feel like what they have to say is important.
(19:13):
So you know, they can start out with a conversation
and start out with something that's going on in the family,
and then during the day this happens, and that happens,
and we get tired and we got this and now.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Parents don't want to talk about it anymore. We'll talk
about it later.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
But you want them to know that they are heard,
that's what you said, Yes.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Because I don't want to be their first bully that
they ever encounter.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Oh my god, Oh my god, that's just yet.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Because I've been saying all day yesterday I can't remember
who I was talking to, or maybe it was Friday.
I kept saying, I hate bullying. I won't say I
hate bullies because I don't hate people. But bullying is
one thing that gets under than my skin. That will
make me fight. And I'm not saying beat you up, fight,
but that will make me fight and make me advocate
(20:07):
and protect talk about it.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's the thing. Like, and that's
why I pray for understanding as well. Remember I told
you earlier, So it's you know, praying for understanding knowing
because you know, people love to use this phrase of
terrible tools, you know, yeah, oh yes, but you know,
whenever you pray for understanding, like you realize their mind
(20:33):
is just developing and they're exposed to new emotions that
they never experienced before.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
So how do you nurture that?
Speaker 5 (20:41):
You know, And even whenever they grow up, whenever they
try to explain different things to you, you know, if
you by you listening and understanding, that can create that
can create an open door for them to even like
feel comfortable enough to even tell you a lot of things,
because if you think about it, when you see a
lot of and this is just like my thought, like
(21:02):
it's just a thinking process behind it. But I wonder
if this is the reason why a lot of teens
when they get older and they sneak around doing stuff
because they feel like their parents won't understand anything, so
they just say, hey, I won't even address the issue.
I'm just going to do what I want to do
and hear about it later. So that's just a thought
(21:23):
of mine.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
And I'm gonna talk about that in a second. But
I'm want to get back to those terrible twos. Would
I believe why people named it that?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I think.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Children when they get to that age that two between
two and two and three, they're discovering things. Yeah for sure, right,
So they want to touch this, they want to pick
up that, they want to crawl over here. And it
is said that a child, by the time a child
is a year old, that they hear the word no
eighteen hundred times.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Right, So if they're trying to discover and feel and
touch and see and climb and crawl and they keep
hear no, no, no, the only thing they know how
to do to express them their emotions is to cry.
We call the terrible two's because they're just they're trying
(22:18):
to explore.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Right.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I was.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
I had a conversation with a minister friend of mine
just yesterday and she shared an experience that she had
with her grandchild that she's raising, and she was about
to take communion and she was examining her heart and
she expressed me, She goes, I know that I'm good
(22:45):
at quick to forgive because that's one of the things
I work on. And she said, as I was about
to take communion, the Holy Spirit said to her that
she needed to forgive the grandchild for being a child. Yes,
we get frustrated as parents because children are children.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Yeah, And you know it's funny you said that, because
like I get the most revelation discipline in my daughter
because like whenever I get like upset or or angry,
because like I say something and two minutes later, she's
doing the very same thing that I asked her not
to do. And before I try to like get upset
(23:30):
with her, God to just gently tell me, hey, don't
you do that to me all the time. And I'm
just like you know it really it really opens your
eyes to see things like the way the Lord sees
it in a sense.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Showing so much mercy and so much raise, so much understanding,
and so much compassion.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Yeah yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Wow, I'm loving this so so as a father, tell
us one thing you don't want to do or be,
tell us something you don't want your to do or
to be as a father.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
So it goes back to that not want to be
like are not are wanting to be present? So not
wanting to not be there. I share a story, a
quick story. I was talking to a friend of mine
and he was telling me about, you know, whenever he
(24:31):
first had his daughter, and he was saying, how you know,
thoms was hard. So he was working, he was doing
whatever he had to do to provide and that that
cost him having to have three jobs. So he was working, working, working,
And it was one day he was at a birthday
party and and his wife was like, hey, can you
(24:51):
get our daughter some food?
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Like, so he got the food.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
And he brought the food down by her, but he
went I get I think he went like, go and
get a utensil. By the time he came back, the
food was already gone, and he's talking to the wife
and he's like, hey, what happened to the food?
Speaker 6 (25:09):
I like?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
And she was like, oh, you didn't know she's eating
on our own by now, and he said it hit
him to the core.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Yeah, and that stuck with me.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
I'm like, man, like, you know, you see, he's trying
to do what he's trying to what he has to
do to provide, but like so many things are passing
by in different moments that.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
He's not able to enjoy because of that.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
So I think sometimes.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
In this space and time and in this generation and
in these times that we as parents feel like we
have to work so much to give them things, to
provide them things, and.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
When it's all said.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
And done, time and attention is more important than things.
And they don't have to have the latest sneakers, they
don't have to have new clothes every two weeks. You
understand what I'm saying. It's it's kind of difficult. And
sometimes we bring with us the stuff we grew up with. Well,
you know, I never had this, So I'm going to
(26:12):
work and make sure that my child has you know,
clean sneakers. Well, put them in a washing machine. You know,
there are things that we can do when we seek God.
That's that thing you talked about again, seeking God for wisdom.
And I'm not badgering or talking about your friend, but
sometimes we have to make a.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Decision, a hard decision.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Is am i Am I going to go chase the
money or am I going to sacrifice the things I
could buy which they won't miss in order to have
the quality time right versus the quality things. So what
so you don't want to you don't want to be
You want to be present. What you don't want to
be is absent. So what are some of the things
(26:55):
that you don't want to do? Is there anything you
struggle with and father for that you have to keep
yourself from doing so that you feel like you're on
the right track to be a good father.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
So a lot of times, because like how balance is
a big thing for me, and that's something that I
still I'm still working on now because you know, you
have work all day and then when you get off work,
you get home.
Speaker 6 (27:22):
You can't neglect the wife, you can't neglect the kids.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
You didn't even unwind now and sometimes a decompressor can
be like getting on your phone a little bit. So
that's one thing I have to like constantly remind myself of,
you know, not being on the phone so much whenever
I'm around her and being in the moment, and then
and when I'm in the moment.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Take pictures a lot of times because you don't.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Realize, you know, they'll they'll reach these milestones and then
you look back at it and you're like, man, what,
like I remember when she when she used to do this,
But when without these pictures.
Speaker 6 (27:59):
It's going to be a memory, you know, I do know,
I do know.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
They grow fast and time goes.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Some of the things that I used to do as
a decompressor, not even having to do with having children,
is that when I get home sometimes I sit in
my car.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I just sit.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
I sit, because there are times when we can transition
too quickly. And as a what I mean by that
is even just as a wife, if someone is a
stay at home mom, or if your wife and a
mother and you go to work, you know, you you
come home from working, you get dinner ready, and they
(28:42):
may be launder you have to put in. You may
have to help with the homework.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I want to.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
I hope I can help somebody with this. It's okay
to sit in your car for a few minutes, right,
And I used to do it because there are things
that occurred during my day that I didn't want to
take across the threshold in my house. I did not
want to enter across that threshold and bring that into
(29:11):
my household. Sometimes I would sit, or I would get
close to the house and then I would take another
street to make the route go a little bit. Seriously,
that was my trend. That was my moment to transition.
Because as a parent and as a husband, you do
wear many hats. I mean, it's it's the nature of life, right,
(29:34):
It's an I won't call it the beast, it's just
that thing. So I pray that God would give you
wisdom to know how to transition, right, to have some
time for aim as before you go in and be
daddy and hobby, you know, and all of those other things.
Speaker 6 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Right, So, as a father and even of a young girl,
now now you have a daughter, is.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
There anything that I don't I don't like to use
the word fear, but is there anything that concerned you
more than most things? What is your greatest concern as
a father in general? Then as a father of a daughter.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
I would say, protecting her innocence in the sense of yeah,
So when I say that, I mean like protecting her mind,
the way she thinks things, the way she processes because
they like what, like I mentioned earlier, the enemy is
after that. And that can that can even be something
as small as monitoring And I'm saying small, but it's
not small at all, Like you said, monitoring what she
(30:35):
watches and you you watching it with her, you know,
so that that's that's a big thing, protecting her in
her her innocence and how she viewed things. And uh,
and I guess a caution or what I do to
kind of avoid that, And what what we're gonna do
when she gets older. We're gonna, like we're gonna teach
(30:58):
her the things of God at a young age so
that she in the house, so when she gets out
of the house, she's not going to be getting taught
by the school system and getting taught by the world.
She's gonna get taught in the house. And then she's
going to know the truth from the home without the
school system and the government teaching her their truth.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
If that makes yes, it does, because the parents are
the first teachers any child encounters. You learn at home
before you learn anywhere else.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, and that's good because you know, we look at
I remember saying to somebody, I think it was to
our daughters about our granddaughter. Like you know, when we
watch commercial cartoons, they were innocent. We Bunny and Roger,
they weren't innocent when you think about it. They would
be clapping each other over the head. You think about
(31:48):
Wiley Kaye, I'm serious, there was nothing innocent about it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It was our perspective.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
But when you think about a spiritual thing, what about
Casper the friendly Ghost?
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Yeah? Right?
Speaker 4 (32:00):
What about shows like be Wished? Those are they? They
seemingly that's how Satan gets in. Yeah, he treats in
and he crawls in unawares while we're sleeping. And I
remember watching something where whatever the rooster was and he
had a funny voice. But you know, they would be
taking these big things and like the flint zones and
clabbering each other over the head and beating each other
(32:22):
and mice chasing cats and you know, doing things that
were sneaky. And I thought about how I thought, Man,
if I knew then what I know now, I probably
wouldn't have wanted to watch some of that mess. You
go back and you look at him and see what
you noticed. They were violent.
Speaker 6 (32:41):
It was funny to us.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
But it was violent. And so I like that you
want to protect and guide her how to think. Yes,
we leave their imaginations open, let them imagine. But I
like how you want to help her.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
To learn at home, learn the things of God before
the world teach you. My husband.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Brother, his older brother would tell him, you can learn
from me, or the world can teach you. See, I
love you, but the world doesn't care anything about you. Yeah, right,
So what is your greatest ambition? Like when you see
yourself as an older father your children get older, what
is the thing, without being prideful, that you want to
(33:24):
be able to say to yourself, I have done this
for my children.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
What is that great ambition that you have?
Speaker 5 (33:33):
Well, my ambition is to leave a legacy for my
kids so that they don't have to work as hard
to be where I am and even where I'm going
to be, to make it to make the next generation
easier for them.
Speaker 6 (33:51):
And the natural and.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
The physical is to train her to be like with
her being a female, train her to be a virtuous
woman and to pick the right husband, because that's going
to be the father, that's going to be the the
head that's going to lead their their household. So if I,
(34:13):
if I don't teach her the right way of thinking,
she's gonna end up picking the wrong guy.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
And and she'll see it more in your living than
she will.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
You're talking absolutely, right, And then so the lineup as well, right, Yes,
I'm the best, the best man, and the best father
I can be.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
And yes, because you know, you know, the saying what
we what what they see speaks louder than what we
what they see us doing speak so much louder.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
Than what we say, right, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
And so when you say that I want to leave
a legacy, what what how do you mean that? Because
you know we can mean that financially, yes, spiritually morally, how.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Do you mean that? Talk a little bit more about
the legacy you want to lead?
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Okay, So in the in the financial side of things,
it's going to be through like land, through through debt free,
having houses that they can have, having you know, having
passive income allocated towards them, so that that's more so
on the physical side. On the spiritual side is it's
(35:23):
kind of like what you said teaching them, teaching them
morals and having it ingrained, engraving in them at a
young age, teaching them not religion but relationship, in that
relationship that they have with the Lord. So what I
mean by that is exposing them to what we do
at the house already, exposing them to prayer, exposing them
(35:46):
to the presence of God at a young age. And
then now I don't have to worry because I can
I can know what surely that the Lord is going
to give them wisdom. The Lord is going to do it,
because the Lord is an ultimate fire, I'm sure. But
the Lord is the ultimate father. The Lord will give
wisdom because he has He has instant, infinite wisdom.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Yes, and and and and as you talked about picking
and choosing a husband, I told my granddaughter, I said,
you don't have to pick any man.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Men will pick you. It's who you choose to be with.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Ye.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
He'll say yes to this. Right, you're the prize, so
you don't have to go looking. You're the prize. He'll
come looking for you as a wife, and you'll know
who to say yes to and who to say no to.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
Right, Yeah, that's real.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So I love it, and I must say that you know.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
Knowing you personally, I know that you're a good example
of a father, and there are some things I want
to I want to have you back on the show
because that profession of yours a cinematic part of your
life and your journey. There's something that you said to
me that made me go in and pray for you
as it relates to that goal and that calling in
(36:59):
your life. So we're gonna have we have to have
you back. But in the meantime, Audrey, I would like
you to come back and tell us what you heard
or what questions you might.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Have, or what insight you may have gained.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Uh from just our conversation between Amos and me, it.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Was interesting as always, And I got to tell you
before the show, I was talking to my daughter and
we had a conversation about fathers, which is interesting, and
we were talking about and Amos, you said something you said,
my father wasn't present, And that was a part of
our conversation because she was saying that she feels that
(37:42):
there are a lot of young men who are in
her age range who had fathers who were present, but
they weren't present, like physically they were there, but mentally,
they weren't there. Emotionally they weren't there. And I and
I and I was saying to her, I think it
was the way they were raised, because they were raised
to be the head of the household. Take here the house,
make sure, and that's all they that's all they kind
(38:03):
of thought about. They worked really hard, and so I
thought that was interesting. So how did you become the
person that you are without because you're in.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
The age range, right, you're in the age range where
she is.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
How did you become the man and the father that
you are without having a father present? Because that is
a big problem that women are facing right now, is
you know, gods like you know your age range, and
they're not They're not like you.
Speaker 6 (38:26):
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
So okay, So without sounding like overly spiritual, what I
did I literally read the Gospels and I wrote down
the characteristics of Christ, and I tried to apply myself
to be the best I could to that, so that
that's honestly what I did.
Speaker 6 (38:49):
I remember like it was yesterday.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
I would write down different things, how he was compassionate,
how how you know he was he had a you know,
he had a love for the people, he walked into
his like all of these different things, and I try
to apply it to my life and I prayed for
for God to give me that because and then I
noticed too, like I have to have the heart towards it.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
A lot of.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
People use that as a victim and say, hey, my
dad wasn't present, so I don't have to.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
Yeah, it has to be a heart change.
Speaker 5 (39:20):
You have to want to do better, and you have
to be fed up with it because I'm gonna have
this next generation like this, I'm gonna do something about it.
So that that's the thing. It's it's a heart posture
towards this thing. You have to see that it's a
problem and you have to know that that you need.
You know, you need wisdom in areas that you don't
have it.
Speaker 6 (39:41):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Wow, that is powerful and I got I have to
share it with her because that is one of the
things that she and I was. Someone sent to her
a TikTok about women submit submitting to certain type of men,
and she was like, how how are we gonna submit
when they're not there? Like you want us to submit
to you when you're not there? And she thought that
was pretty interesting. The other thing I like what you
said was decompressing. That is huge. And doctor Chan, I
(40:10):
heard what you said. You said, I sit in my
car and I close my door and I shut everybody
out of my office.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
But can you explain to women how important it is
to the men, because I think sometimes women feel like,
you know, you come home, we like to talk, right,
So most women like to talk, and they want you
to come home and they want you to talk to
them immediately. But explain to them how important it is
for them to let you decompress and then you could talk.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
That's good.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
So it's important first off, Like if you want the real,
authentic version of us, then you need it because otherwise
people gonna say, uh huh yeah, and we're not gonna
know nothing you said.
Speaker 6 (40:47):
Just being honest, it's gonna go in one there and
out the other.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
We need to decompress so that we can be present
and we can be there and be able to listen
to you. And you know, all women, y'all, y'all know
if y'all's husband is not listening, it is not really there.
So you know you're talking, but you know he's not
really there. So and then It makes it to where,
like I said before, I'm I'm present, I'm in the moment,
(41:11):
I hear what you're saying, and we can actually.
Speaker 6 (41:14):
Have a dialogue about this.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
You know, you want to tell me about your day,
you won't get short answers like uh huh, and then
you feel like, I don't.
Speaker 6 (41:21):
Care, You're gonna get the Oh really, why did they
do that? Oh that's weird. I thought that it was
something different last time.
Speaker 5 (41:26):
You know, you will get more conversation because I'll be
one hundred percent president there.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I love. That is good.
Speaker 6 (41:34):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
You know those are my two doctor chin. I thought
those were two powerful ones for the women that are listening,
especially young women and especially married women who want their
husband to come home and be one hundred percent there
right from the door.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
And that just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
And then you get all upset because you know he's
not listening and he's you know, you're not paying me.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Did you hear what I said?
Speaker 4 (41:56):
Let him get in the door first, Let him get
in the door. Something else he said too. That was
key before we go off, when you asked him what
did he do to be different from what he experiences
with his own father, and he said, you have to
be sick and tired of it.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
You it has to.
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Be I love that that you have to be sick
and tired of making the excuses. You know, their excuses.
People will you know, I didn't grow up that way.
I didn't grow up that way. I didn't grow up
that way. You grew up That is an excuse to
not do the work. And someone commented, I think it
was said, you have to set your mind to do
the work. Welcome evangelist favors. You have to set your
(42:40):
mind to do the work. And so he set his mind,
and he said that didn't want to be overly religious,
but he went to the scriptures and wrote down the
characteristics of Jesus. And so for those.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Of you who are listening or will listen later to
this broad cast, we hope that you got something out
of this young father who this young man who is
a father who was determined that he was going to
do something different and be somebody different in order to
raise his daughter so that she will become a phenomenal woman,
(43:15):
so that she will become a virtuous woman. And so
there's some things too.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
He's so full of gifts that we're gonna have Amos
Dean back, and I know it's gonna appeal to some
of you young people in a way that that's gonna
blow your mind. And Audrey, as always, you are such
a gracious, gracious producer, and uh just I love what
you do for media and what you do for podcasting
(43:40):
and your radio programs in your community. So you all,
this is the noise what the noise maker media.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Just go and check her out. Go and check her out.
She's an author, she's a.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
Creator of dolls, you know, the first full figure doll.
Just go in and check her out too. She's always
promoting my men the street. But God has connected us
and I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Audrey. I just wanted to throw that in there.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Thank you, doctor. And she always makes me bleushed. I'm dark, y'all,
y'all can't see it, but I'm blushing on over here.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Thank you. I appreciate that. He'll be back. He'll be back.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Listen if you guys enjoyed this episode. And as I
want to say, for you, it is so important what
you're doing, Like you don't even understand how important.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
It is, especially raising a daughter.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Yeah, that is so because there are so many broken
young women out there. We got broken men, but we
got broken young women because they did not have a
daughter present in your life, who took the time to
learn how to be compassionate, who learned how to be
emotionally connected. That is so important. So I'm so grateful
for you and what you're doing with your daughter. I
(44:55):
have a granddaughter. I have a one daughter and a granddaughter,
and I tried to be the best man that I
could for her, but you know, we encountered some things
because her dad wasn't there. So I'm grateful for you,
and I'm sure your wife is super grateful that you
are the person you are for your daughter. So thank
you for doing that, and thank you doctor Chen from
bringing him on here to share this with all of
(45:16):
the people that are listening so they can go back
and share it too, Because I know my daughter is
in a great relationship right now, but people are always
saying stuff and she feels like she have to defend
the millennial women when they say it, and so anytime
I can bring insight to her, I do. So I
would definitely be sharing this episode with her.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
But thank you all for doing what you do. Doctor Chan,
you know.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I love you the pieces, and thank you for bringing
great people into your sphere, into my sphere, to the
Facebook sphere and YouTube sphere and sharing all this great
wisdom so we can be a better place and a
better world for all of us, not just not just
not just us, but for all of us. So if
you enjoyed this episode, please go to doctor Chin's website
Lindochanministries dot com to listen to more episodes. To subscribe
(45:57):
to the show. Listen It's free, It's free to subscribe,
doesn't cost you a dime. All it does is caused
you to hit the button and subscribe. Do that too,
Share with two friends, not one, but two. We'll be
back again at two weeks, same place, same time, until
next time.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Make it a great day. Bye everybody, peace, I love you,
amos love you.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
You've been listening to Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chin.
If you enjoyed this episode, hit the like button then
share it with a friend. Be sure to support the
show by going to Lindachinministries dot com. Subscribe to the
show so you never miss an episode, and tune in
again in two weeks at two pm Eastern Standard time.
Until next time.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Keep the faith and keep it real.
Welcome to Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. This
is the podcast where real life choices need biblical truth
without the flock. Tune in every second and fourth Monday
at dpm in Eastern Standard Time as Doctor Chen shares
faith filled, practical insights to navigate everyday challenges. Get ready
(00:21):
for real talk, real life and real answers.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Good afternoon, Welcome to another episode of Keeping It Real
with Doctor Linda Chen. I'm Audry Bell Curnan, producer of
the show. Got a great show for you today, and
a great guest. His name is mister Amos Dean, and
we canna be.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Talking my father.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Now what exactly does that mean? I'm not quite sure yet,
but you're gonna find out very shortly. Hope you guys
are having a wonderful start to your day. It's a
very rainy day here in Georgia. I feel like it's
raining all over the world. I know I'm borrowing somebody's song,
but anyway, so rainy dayhand Georgia.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Hope you had a good start to your day so far.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
So without further ado, I'm gonna bring up doctor Linda
Chen and her guest, mister Dean.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Thank you, Thank you. Thank you, Audrey. How are you
and amos today? I'm good, wonderful, wonderful, and I love Audrey.
Which is a rainy day in Georgia. You always have
a word and have something to pull from your gut
when you introduce us. I love you, Audrey. I thank
God for how you set the tone for our podcast.
(01:26):
You always make it exciting. And so y'all already know
how we do this. We gotta bring Audrey. She starts
us out and we got to bring her up back
at the end. She brings insight, she gains questions and knowledges,
and she adds to the podcast. So Audrey, thank you
so much, my friend and my sister appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Very welcome. I'll be back.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Amen, Amen, mister Dean, Welcome, welcome, Welcome to the Keeping
It Real with Linda Chen.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Doctor Linda Chin podcast. And I listen.
Speaker 4 (01:59):
I have a bid for this wonderful man of God
and and but I want to share some things that
I personally know about him.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
He is a wonderful uh man of God. And he's
also what I would call, you can't say, a midwife.
But he's also one of those people who will pull
gently pull gifts out of you, and he's a multi
gifted person and I see God elevating him. He is
(02:31):
a father, and he's a devoted Christian, a devoted husband
and father, and he has a wonderful two year old,
Thank God for our baby. And he has a passion
for storytelling. He he's he's he's deep in his faith.
And I watched him as he continued to grow. And
I know you don't know I was going to share this, Amus,
(02:52):
but I watched him as he continues to grow.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
He's humble and teachable, he asks questions, he studies Word
of God, and this is what I am excited most
about his life is that he is a Christian filmmaker
and influencer. And his work and ministry, I would say
Blend's heartfelt narratives and cinematic excellence. What he does, he's
(03:17):
passionate about what makes him excellent, and he reflecting his
commitment to glorifying God through creativity. And you know, when
he's not behind the camera, he loves being with family
and I love that about him. So we're going to
continue with the sanctity of relationships, and today we're gonna
talk about the Father and so amos. Thank you for
(03:40):
joining us.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Is there anything that you want to add about yourself
that I didn't mention?
Speaker 5 (03:45):
Well, I mean, first off, thank you so much for
having me. Is there anything I want? So something about me?
I guess that's not in the bio. I come from
a tribe, it's a very large family.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I'm the youngest of eight.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Actually originally I'm from Louisiana, but I've been in Georgia
basically my whole life.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I did not know that you were from Louisiana. See
that's what's good about these podcasts, right, that's what's good.
So thank you. We see miss Ursula McCleary joined us.
Thank you, minister Ursula. So one thing I want to
ask you is, you know it's said back in the
day that you didn't ask a woman her age, So
I'm glad you're not a woman. So how old were
(04:31):
you a miss when you became a father?
Speaker 6 (04:34):
When I became a father, I was thirty. I was thirty.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
You were thirty years old. Let me tell you why
I asked that question. And I don't know if you
remember this or not. This was my experience with him,
and this is how I know he's authentic. And this
is why one of the reasons I asked him to
be a guest on the show is when his wife
was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
He said to me, he calls me Mama chin. He said,
Mama chin, I can't play with this thing.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
He's I don't want to get emotional, but he said,
I can't play with this thing. He said, I got
to get closer to God because I have to raise
my child in the fear of God. And then he
shared this big English Bible. I don't know if you
remember that, this big Bible. Yeah, that he's shared with me.
But he was so serious about getting closer to God,
(05:25):
not for his sake, not for blessings, but for that
next generation over which he would be a steward.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Do you remember doing that?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
I remember, I do remember that. I remember that. I
remember the Bible.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
It was the sixteen eleven King James version Bible that
I sold you. I remember it like it was yesterday.
And I still have that fear. Tell this's day, I
really do, because it's a serious thing, like being a father,
because I mean, we're we're a steward over this child.
So like the Lord has given me a child to steward,
(05:59):
so It's it's my job to cover, protect and to
pray for wisdom and areas I don't know, so that
I can do what God called me to do being
a father.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
So I love that you use that word protect when
you look at father. It's potcher p a t e
r in the Greek, which means to protect. That's one
of the things that a father does. So you talked
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
About fear and you still kind of feel that way.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Kind of tell me what you felt then and what
you feel now as it relates to your your responsibility
as a father.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
Mm okay.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
So first, like, so just to give you kind of
a recap, and I'm pretty sure you probably heard it
growing up too.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
You know how we always have that.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Phrase like we'll we'll see things that our parents would
do and we'll say, oh, well, you know, when i'm
a parent, I'm never gonna do this. It's like that's
when you say it. But now, like, this is the
opportunity to where you're really putting all that stuff to test.
So I always like a fear of mind was because
(07:07):
my father wasn't really present. So in my head, I'm like, okay,
I need to make sure that I'm present.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
I need to make sure i'm there.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
I need to make sure that I get wisdom so
that I can cover and protect my child in different areas,
because you know, the enemy is after children.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
You know what, Yeah, exactly, the enemy is after children.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
So it's our job to protect them physically and spiritually.
So so that's that's a fear of mind.
Speaker 6 (07:38):
I guess. Just keep keep striving towards God.
Speaker 5 (07:40):
And not not not giving the enemy any kind of room.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
If that makes sense, Yes, it makes perfect sense. And
I'm so glad that you brought that up. We had
Bible study this past Saturday, and I was sharing with
the women. I have a children's Bible study. How the
enemy is after these children's minds and here he'll use anything.
And I love that you said. You said, I pray
for wisdom every day you think about it. You have
(08:06):
a newborn baby, you've got an infant, your first time father.
You need wisdom on how to help your wife right
parent when you're alone with the baby.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
You never had a baby before.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
You talked about your experience with your own dad, So
you need wisdom and how to be a good father,
a present father. Then as the baby grows you know,
getting teeth and crying and teething, and God, I need wisdom.
So I love that you said you need wisdom every day.
And I think sometimes parents maybe some don't ask or
(08:41):
don't even think they need wisdom or a mistake experience
for wisdom.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
What do you think about that experience versus wisdom?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
I think that.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
So just to elaborate, so when you ask, what do
I think like the difference between experience, Yeah, okay, I
think that it's like so you can't really say experience
because you know, every child is different.
Speaker 6 (09:05):
Every child is different, and every child.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Is going to act a different kind of way as
far as personality wise. You know, you might have one
child and they might show a little more temper than
the other one. So you have to know and you
have to have the wisdom to know how to apply
whatever knowledge you know. Pray for understanding so that you
can know how to gently respond to to be able
to to tend to that need if that makes sense
(09:31):
or not. Just like yell out a child because they're screaming, Like,
pray for understanding our knowledge to say, okay, why are
they screaming? Like what's the deeper rooted issue behind it,
so experience, I guess it can kind of even plan
a seed for arrogance and pride as well, because you know,
you can say, oh, well, I experience, I know this,
and I know all of this and all of this,
(09:52):
but but that can that can put you in pride in.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
A sense excellent, excellent, So you can have pride, you know,
for our listeners. Sometimes because you had an experience, you
may not think you don't need to ask for wisdom
because you may think you already know. So when you
found out that your wife, when you first found out
that your wife was pregnant, what were your first thoughts?
Speaker 5 (10:19):
I was excited, I was real excited. Then I was nervous.
I was nervous because this is a new thing, you know,
being a father is new, like the whole the whole
dynamic is new. So so it was it was mostly excitement.
It was nervousness because it's a new territory.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, So being a father, I.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Hope I'm going to state this question, okay in a
good way, because you're letting my minds going places now, right,
So what is the difference I'm a father now between
what you who you need to be versus what you
need to do.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Mmm, let me ponder on that. Yeah, so what's the
difference between who I need to be versus what I
need to do?
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Because just because you became a father doesn't make you
a father.
Speaker 5 (11:21):
Yeah yeah, right absolutely, Yeah, So so this is what
I would say, So who who I need to be
slash what I need to be? So for me because
remember when I told you, It all goes back to
like when I told you I would go into that
prayer closet. Yeah, closet was my best friend. And still yeah,
(11:43):
you know, God kind of revealed to me certain things,
certain things about what I needed, what I needed to be.
You know, I have to be present first off, and
even and I'm not going to get off to a
tangent on that, but even you know how the Bible
tells you like, delight yourself and the Lord he'll get
your desires, your heart. So like my heart has always
(12:06):
been to be there and be present because of a childhood,
childhood wound that I had, and the Lord honor that
to where I could even schedule to be there so
I don't miss these important things. You know, when my
daughter start walking or you know, these these these important things.
So I feel like being, you know, being you have
(12:26):
to be a father, you have to have wisdom, you know,
and and that's the difference. That's the difference because the
more you seek the Lord, the more he'll show you
what you need to be.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
So let's talk about that being present thing, because because
a father can be present, can be in the household,
but what do you need to be in your heart?
Because there are fathers who are present who are verbally abusive.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Yeah, there are.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Fathers who are present in body, but they're they're watching
the TV off their home, but all their kids see
them doing is watching TV, watching sports, watching the news.
There present, but maybe all they're doing is maybe drinking
beer and having got you understand what I'm saying to
talk about what you mean when you say being present.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
I mean uninterrupted time. I mean showing your daughter or
your son that you're there without any distractions. I mean,
I mean, you know, like being involved with what they like.
Like For example, my daughter, she would have different stages
of things that she likes, So like one minute, it's
(13:37):
like Lucas and now she's in her mini mouse phase
and now you know, we just bought her kitchen sets.
So now like her, her gears are turning because I'm
able to see her imagination for the first time.
Speaker 6 (13:49):
Like, if she's in her playroom, what toy.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
Does she gravitate to naturally without me saying, Hey, I
used to play.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
I don't know soccer, so here's the soccer ball.
Speaker 5 (13:59):
So that so that you can do what I did,
you know, like you she likes to do and exploring that.
I feel like, that's that's what I mean when I
say be present, be in the moment.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You know, I love that.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
So now you said something else where you said you
you watch her, like, what what is she going to
pick up? First, she's got this kitchen, said, She's got
probably stuffed toys and stuffed animals. But when it comes
to this new set, which is a new introducing a
new toy to her, what is she going to gravitate to?
So that led me to the proverb that says, train
up a child in the way they should go, and
(14:34):
when they're old they won't depart. And and so what
you're doing that requires studying your child. Yeah, studying your
child helps you to know the way in which they
should go, meaning their natural bend. What is their natural
bend in life. And so as you study her, tell
us some of the things that you learned about. Yes,
(14:56):
she's just a toddler, but what things has she shown
you that she's leaning toward?
Speaker 6 (15:01):
What if you know, oh, you want me to give
it to you on like the.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
Spiritual side, what we noticed? However, you're led so what
what we noticed? Because you know one part as well
about being a father, and my wife does an amazing job
at this as well, but nurturing her spiritual gifts and
identifying them at a young age, I know that my
daughter is going to be an inncessor when we pray,
(15:27):
like we expose her to prayer a lot, so when
we pray, she would literally like touch parts on like
my wife's body or something, and like God would me
and I would pray for whatever part on her body
is hurting or just whatever wherever my daughter touched and
a lot of times my wife would have pain in
(15:49):
that different area. Or even after we pray for my wife,
then she'll say other people's name. She'll say, like only
which is her grandma? And for her grandma, she'll say,
which is her her granddad? And I'm and I'm seeing
and and even you know certain certain people that certain
people that try to like hold her are you know,
(16:10):
and she'll cry or not want to gravitate, Like I
know that she's a deserner, you know.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
So she has the spirit of discernment.
Speaker 5 (16:17):
So and and the one thing I don't ignore that
is she says, hey, she don't want to go somebody.
She's not gonna go to him, and that's what it is.
They might get upset, but hey, that's that's what it is.
So that that's a couple of things on the spiritual
side that that we observed.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Natural side.
Speaker 6 (16:32):
Okay, on the natural side that we observed.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
So so that that I observe about her, I know
that she's she's she's gonna be very athletic. She's she loves,
she has a heart for people. She loves Like when
she go inside of a room, she she will wave
and speak to any and everybody.
Speaker 6 (16:50):
She's friendly.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
She she has this this grin or this you know
this grin that she does and it changes every single
it seemed like every peer periodically, it always changed. Like
she has she has a heart for people. She just
loves loves everybody.
Speaker 3 (17:06):
What was the athletic side you were referring to So.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
We have this trampoline set and I didn't teach her
how to do this, but it's it's like these I
guess these bar grips that down from it, and she
literally starts like grabbing it, pulling herself up.
Speaker 6 (17:22):
Doing backflips.
Speaker 5 (17:24):
And I never I never exposed her to that, but
that's just something she just naturally started. I know she's
gonna be an athletic playing some sports, and she's brave.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Obviously that says she's brave as well.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
Yeah, So what do you want your child and children
as your family grows to know, to think and to
feel about you as your father? What do you want
them to know about you? What do you want them
to think about you? And how do you want them
to feel about you?
Speaker 5 (17:57):
I want them to feel loved. I want them to
feel heard. I want them to feel respected, and I
want them.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
To feel.
Speaker 5 (18:06):
I feel like they can be their authentic self and
they don't have to mold their self in a different
kind of way to be accepted by people. I feel
like a lot of a lot of times we would
go to school and we would try to blend in
to be accepted, and we don't realize when we get older,
(18:26):
a lot of that that childhood trauma are that you know,
that urge to want to fit in, that will be
the root of it. So if we can eradicate that
from the beginning, that's one thing that she won't have
to deal with that her parents had to deal with,
you know.
Speaker 6 (18:42):
So, so little things like.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
That, yeah, which really aren't little, right y?
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah, little at all.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I talked to.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
We don't have any children in the house, but I've
been around children, and I'm around children, even in the
Bible study ministry, and even if late have been in
the presence of children, and that's the most you said
something that they feel the most. They don't feel heard,
They don't feel like what they have to say is important.
(19:13):
So you know, they can start out with a conversation
and start out with something that's going on in the family,
and then during the day this happens, and that happens,
and we get tired and we got this and now.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Parents don't want to talk about it anymore. We'll talk
about it later.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
But you want them to know that they are heard,
that's what you said, Yes.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Because I don't want to be their first bully that
they ever encounter.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Oh my god, Oh my god, that's just yet.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Because I've been saying all day yesterday I can't remember
who I was talking to, or maybe it was Friday.
I kept saying, I hate bullying. I won't say I
hate bullies because I don't hate people. But bullying is
one thing that gets under than my skin. That will
make me fight. And I'm not saying beat you up, fight,
but that will make me fight and make me advocate
(20:07):
and protect talk about it.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's the thing. Like, and that's
why I pray for understanding as well. Remember I told
you earlier, So it's you know, praying for understanding knowing
because you know, people love to use this phrase of
terrible tools, you know, yeah, oh yes, but you know,
whenever you pray for understanding, like you realize their mind
(20:33):
is just developing and they're exposed to new emotions that
they never experienced before.
Speaker 6 (20:39):
So how do you nurture that?
Speaker 5 (20:41):
You know, And even whenever they grow up, whenever they
try to explain different things to you, you know, if
you by you listening and understanding, that can create that
can create an open door for them to even like
feel comfortable enough to even tell you a lot of things,
because if you think about it, when you see a
lot of and this is just like my thought, like
(21:02):
it's just a thinking process behind it. But I wonder
if this is the reason why a lot of teens
when they get older and they sneak around doing stuff
because they feel like their parents won't understand anything, so
they just say, hey, I won't even address the issue.
I'm just going to do what I want to do
and hear about it later. So that's just a thought
(21:23):
of mine.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
And I'm gonna talk about that in a second. But
I'm want to get back to those terrible twos. Would
I believe why people named it that?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
I think.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
Children when they get to that age that two between
two and two and three, they're discovering things. Yeah for sure, right,
So they want to touch this, they want to pick
up that, they want to crawl over here. And it
is said that a child, by the time a child
is a year old, that they hear the word no
eighteen hundred times.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
Right, So if they're trying to discover and feel and
touch and see and climb and crawl and they keep
hear no, no, no, the only thing they know how
to do to express them their emotions is to cry.
We call the terrible two's because they're just they're trying
(22:18):
to explore.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Right.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
I was.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
I had a conversation with a minister friend of mine
just yesterday and she shared an experience that she had
with her grandchild that she's raising, and she was about
to take communion and she was examining her heart and
she expressed me, She goes, I know that I'm good
(22:45):
at quick to forgive because that's one of the things
I work on. And she said, as I was about
to take communion, the Holy Spirit said to her that
she needed to forgive the grandchild for being a child. Yes,
we get frustrated as parents because children are children.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Yeah, And you know it's funny you said that, because
like I get the most revelation discipline in my daughter
because like whenever I get like upset or or angry,
because like I say something and two minutes later, she's
doing the very same thing that I asked her not
to do. And before I try to like get upset
(23:30):
with her, God to just gently tell me, hey, don't
you do that to me all the time. And I'm
just like you know it really it really opens your
eyes to see things like the way the Lord sees
it in a sense.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Showing so much mercy and so much raise, so much understanding,
and so much compassion.
Speaker 6 (23:52):
Yeah yeah, wow.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Wow, I'm loving this so so as a father, tell
us one thing you don't want to do or be,
tell us something you don't want your to do or
to be as a father.
Speaker 5 (24:10):
So it goes back to that not want to be
like are not are wanting to be present? So not
wanting to not be there. I share a story, a
quick story. I was talking to a friend of mine
and he was telling me about, you know, whenever he
(24:31):
first had his daughter, and he was saying, how you know,
thoms was hard. So he was working, he was doing
whatever he had to do to provide and that that
cost him having to have three jobs. So he was working, working, working,
And it was one day he was at a birthday
party and and his wife was like, hey, can you
(24:51):
get our daughter some food?
Speaker 6 (24:52):
Like, so he got the food.
Speaker 5 (24:55):
And he brought the food down by her, but he
went I get I think he went like, go and
get a utensil. By the time he came back, the
food was already gone, and he's talking to the wife
and he's like, hey, what happened to the food?
Speaker 6 (25:09):
I like?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
And she was like, oh, you didn't know she's eating
on our own by now, and he said it hit
him to the core.
Speaker 6 (25:17):
Yeah, and that stuck with me.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
I'm like, man, like, you know, you see, he's trying
to do what he's trying to what he has to
do to provide, but like so many things are passing
by in different moments that.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
He's not able to enjoy because of that.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
So I think sometimes.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
In this space and time and in this generation and
in these times that we as parents feel like we
have to work so much to give them things, to
provide them things, and.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
When it's all said.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
And done, time and attention is more important than things.
And they don't have to have the latest sneakers, they
don't have to have new clothes every two weeks. You
understand what I'm saying. It's it's kind of difficult. And
sometimes we bring with us the stuff we grew up with. Well,
you know, I never had this, So I'm going to
(26:12):
work and make sure that my child has you know,
clean sneakers. Well, put them in a washing machine. You know,
there are things that we can do when we seek God.
That's that thing you talked about again, seeking God for wisdom.
And I'm not badgering or talking about your friend, but
sometimes we have to make a.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
Decision, a hard decision.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Is am i Am I going to go chase the
money or am I going to sacrifice the things I
could buy which they won't miss in order to have
the quality time right versus the quality things. So what
so you don't want to you don't want to be
You want to be present. What you don't want to
be is absent. So what are some of the things
(26:55):
that you don't want to do? Is there anything you
struggle with and father for that you have to keep
yourself from doing so that you feel like you're on
the right track to be a good father.
Speaker 5 (27:07):
So a lot of times, because like how balance is
a big thing for me, and that's something that I
still I'm still working on now because you know, you
have work all day and then when you get off work,
you get home.
Speaker 6 (27:22):
You can't neglect the wife, you can't neglect the kids.
Speaker 5 (27:24):
You didn't even unwind now and sometimes a decompressor can
be like getting on your phone a little bit. So
that's one thing I have to like constantly remind myself of,
you know, not being on the phone so much whenever
I'm around her and being in the moment, and then
and when I'm in the moment.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Take pictures a lot of times because you don't.
Speaker 5 (27:47):
Realize, you know, they'll they'll reach these milestones and then
you look back at it and you're like, man, what,
like I remember when she when she used to do this,
But when without these pictures.
Speaker 6 (27:59):
It's going to be a memory, you know, I do know,
I do know.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
They grow fast and time goes.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
Some of the things that I used to do as
a decompressor, not even having to do with having children,
is that when I get home sometimes I sit in
my car.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
I just sit.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
I sit, because there are times when we can transition
too quickly. And as a what I mean by that
is even just as a wife, if someone is a
stay at home mom, or if your wife and a
mother and you go to work, you know, you you
come home from working, you get dinner ready, and they
(28:42):
may be launder you have to put in. You may
have to help with the homework.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I want to.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
I hope I can help somebody with this. It's okay
to sit in your car for a few minutes, right,
And I used to do it because there are things
that occurred during my day that I didn't want to
take across the threshold in my house. I did not
want to enter across that threshold and bring that into
(29:11):
my household. Sometimes I would sit, or I would get
close to the house and then I would take another
street to make the route go a little bit. Seriously,
that was my trend. That was my moment to transition.
Because as a parent and as a husband, you do
wear many hats. I mean, it's it's the nature of life, right,
(29:34):
It's an I won't call it the beast, it's just
that thing. So I pray that God would give you
wisdom to know how to transition, right, to have some
time for aim as before you go in and be
daddy and hobby, you know, and all of those other things.
Speaker 6 (29:50):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
Right, So, as a father and even of a young girl,
now now you have a daughter, is.
Speaker 4 (29:58):
There anything that I don't I don't like to use
the word fear, but is there anything that concerned you
more than most things? What is your greatest concern as
a father in general? Then as a father of a daughter.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
I would say, protecting her innocence in the sense of yeah,
So when I say that, I mean like protecting her mind,
the way she thinks things, the way she processes because
they like what, like I mentioned earlier, the enemy is
after that. And that can that can even be something
as small as monitoring And I'm saying small, but it's
not small at all, Like you said, monitoring what she
(30:35):
watches and you you watching it with her, you know,
so that that's that's a big thing, protecting her in
her her innocence and how she viewed things. And uh,
and I guess a caution or what I do to
kind of avoid that, And what what we're gonna do
when she gets older. We're gonna, like we're gonna teach
(30:58):
her the things of God at a young age so
that she in the house, so when she gets out
of the house, she's not going to be getting taught
by the school system and getting taught by the world.
She's gonna get taught in the house. And then she's
going to know the truth from the home without the
school system and the government teaching her their truth.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
If that makes yes, it does, because the parents are
the first teachers any child encounters. You learn at home
before you learn anywhere else.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Yeah, and that's good because you know, we look at
I remember saying to somebody, I think it was to
our daughters about our granddaughter. Like you know, when we
watch commercial cartoons, they were innocent. We Bunny and Roger,
they weren't innocent when you think about it. They would
be clapping each other over the head. You think about
(31:48):
Wiley Kaye, I'm serious, there was nothing innocent about it.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
It was our perspective.
Speaker 4 (31:53):
But when you think about a spiritual thing, what about
Casper the friendly Ghost?
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Yeah? Right?
Speaker 4 (32:00):
What about shows like be Wished? Those are they? They
seemingly that's how Satan gets in. Yeah, he treats in
and he crawls in unawares while we're sleeping. And I
remember watching something where whatever the rooster was and he
had a funny voice. But you know, they would be
taking these big things and like the flint zones and
clabbering each other over the head and beating each other
(32:22):
and mice chasing cats and you know, doing things that
were sneaky. And I thought about how I thought, Man,
if I knew then what I know now, I probably
wouldn't have wanted to watch some of that mess. You
go back and you look at him and see what
you noticed. They were violent.
Speaker 6 (32:41):
It was funny to us.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
But it was violent. And so I like that you
want to protect and guide her how to think. Yes,
we leave their imaginations open, let them imagine. But I
like how you want to help her.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
To learn at home, learn the things of God before
the world teach you. My husband.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Brother, his older brother would tell him, you can learn
from me, or the world can teach you. See, I
love you, but the world doesn't care anything about you. Yeah, right,
So what is your greatest ambition? Like when you see
yourself as an older father your children get older, what
is the thing, without being prideful, that you want to
(33:24):
be able to say to yourself, I have done this
for my children.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
What is that great ambition that you have?
Speaker 5 (33:33):
Well, my ambition is to leave a legacy for my
kids so that they don't have to work as hard
to be where I am and even where I'm going
to be, to make it to make the next generation
easier for them.
Speaker 6 (33:51):
And the natural and.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
The physical is to train her to be like with
her being a female, train her to be a virtuous
woman and to pick the right husband, because that's going
to be the father, that's going to be the the
head that's going to lead their their household. So if I,
(34:13):
if I don't teach her the right way of thinking,
she's gonna end up picking the wrong guy.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
And and she'll see it more in your living than
she will.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
You're talking absolutely, right, And then so the lineup as well, right, Yes,
I'm the best, the best man, and the best father
I can be.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
And yes, because you know, you know, the saying what
we what what they see speaks louder than what we
what they see us doing speak so much louder.
Speaker 6 (34:40):
Than what we say, right, absolutely.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
And so when you say that I want to leave
a legacy, what what how do you mean that? Because
you know we can mean that financially, yes, spiritually morally, how.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Do you mean that? Talk a little bit more about
the legacy you want to lead?
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Okay, So in the in the financial side of things,
it's going to be through like land, through through debt free,
having houses that they can have, having you know, having
passive income allocated towards them, so that that's more so
on the physical side. On the spiritual side is it's
(35:23):
kind of like what you said teaching them, teaching them
morals and having it ingrained, engraving in them at a
young age, teaching them not religion but relationship, in that
relationship that they have with the Lord. So what I
mean by that is exposing them to what we do
at the house already, exposing them to prayer, exposing them
(35:46):
to the presence of God at a young age. And
then now I don't have to worry because I can
I can know what surely that the Lord is going
to give them wisdom. The Lord is going to do it,
because the Lord is an ultimate fire, I'm sure. But
the Lord is the ultimate father. The Lord will give
wisdom because he has He has instant, infinite wisdom.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Yes, and and and and as you talked about picking
and choosing a husband, I told my granddaughter, I said,
you don't have to pick any man.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Men will pick you. It's who you choose to be with.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Ye.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
He'll say yes to this. Right, you're the prize, so
you don't have to go looking. You're the prize. He'll
come looking for you as a wife, and you'll know
who to say yes to and who to say no to.
Speaker 6 (36:31):
Right, Yeah, that's real.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So I love it, and I must say that you know.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
Knowing you personally, I know that you're a good example
of a father, and there are some things I want
to I want to have you back on the show
because that profession of yours a cinematic part of your
life and your journey. There's something that you said to
me that made me go in and pray for you
as it relates to that goal and that calling in
(36:59):
your life. So we're gonna have we have to have
you back. But in the meantime, Audrey, I would like
you to come back and tell us what you heard
or what questions you might.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Have, or what insight you may have gained.
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Uh from just our conversation between Amos and me, it.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Was interesting as always, And I got to tell you
before the show, I was talking to my daughter and
we had a conversation about fathers, which is interesting, and
we were talking about and Amos, you said something you said,
my father wasn't present, And that was a part of
our conversation because she was saying that she feels that
(37:42):
there are a lot of young men who are in
her age range who had fathers who were present, but
they weren't present, like physically they were there, but mentally,
they weren't there. Emotionally they weren't there. And I and
I and I was saying to her, I think it
was the way they were raised, because they were raised
to be the head of the household. Take here the house,
make sure, and that's all they that's all they kind
(38:03):
of thought about. They worked really hard, and so I
thought that was interesting. So how did you become the
person that you are without because you're in.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
The age range, right, you're in the age range where
she is.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
How did you become the man and the father that
you are without having a father present? Because that is
a big problem that women are facing right now, is
you know, gods like you know your age range, and
they're not They're not like you.
Speaker 6 (38:26):
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (38:28):
So okay, So without sounding like overly spiritual, what I
did I literally read the Gospels and I wrote down
the characteristics of Christ, and I tried to apply myself
to be the best I could to that, so that
that's honestly what I did.
Speaker 6 (38:49):
I remember like it was yesterday.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
I would write down different things, how he was compassionate,
how how you know he was he had a you know,
he had a love for the people, he walked into
his like all of these different things, and I try
to apply it to my life and I prayed for
for God to give me that because and then I
noticed too, like I have to have the heart towards it.
Speaker 6 (39:12):
A lot of.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
People use that as a victim and say, hey, my
dad wasn't present, so I don't have to.
Speaker 6 (39:19):
Yeah, it has to be a heart change.
Speaker 5 (39:20):
You have to want to do better, and you have
to be fed up with it because I'm gonna have
this next generation like this, I'm gonna do something about it.
So that that's the thing. It's it's a heart posture
towards this thing. You have to see that it's a
problem and you have to know that that you need.
You know, you need wisdom in areas that you don't
have it.
Speaker 6 (39:41):
So that's what I did.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Wow, that is powerful and I got I have to
share it with her because that is one of the
things that she and I was. Someone sent to her
a TikTok about women submit submitting to certain type of men,
and she was like, how how are we gonna submit
when they're not there? Like you want us to submit
to you when you're not there? And she thought that
was pretty interesting. The other thing I like what you
said was decompressing. That is huge. And doctor Chan, I
(40:10):
heard what you said. You said, I sit in my
car and I close my door and I shut everybody
out of my office.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
But can you explain to women how important it is
to the men, because I think sometimes women feel like,
you know, you come home, we like to talk, right,
So most women like to talk, and they want you
to come home and they want you to talk to
them immediately. But explain to them how important it is
for them to let you decompress and then you could talk.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
That's good.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
So it's important first off, Like if you want the real,
authentic version of us, then you need it because otherwise
people gonna say, uh huh yeah, and we're not gonna
know nothing you said.
Speaker 6 (40:47):
Just being honest, it's gonna go in one there and
out the other.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
We need to decompress so that we can be present
and we can be there and be able to listen
to you. And you know, all women, y'all, y'all know
if y'all's husband is not listening, it is not really there.
So you know you're talking, but you know he's not
really there. So and then It makes it to where,
like I said before, I'm I'm present, I'm in the moment,
(41:11):
I hear what you're saying, and we can actually.
Speaker 6 (41:14):
Have a dialogue about this.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
You know, you want to tell me about your day,
you won't get short answers like uh huh, and then
you feel like, I don't.
Speaker 6 (41:21):
Care, You're gonna get the Oh really, why did they
do that? Oh that's weird. I thought that it was
something different last time.
Speaker 5 (41:26):
You know, you will get more conversation because I'll be
one hundred percent president there.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
I love. That is good.
Speaker 6 (41:34):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
You know those are my two doctor chin. I thought
those were two powerful ones for the women that are listening,
especially young women and especially married women who want their
husband to come home and be one hundred percent there
right from the door.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
And that just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
And then you get all upset because you know he's
not listening and he's you know, you're not paying me.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Did you hear what I said?
Speaker 4 (41:56):
Let him get in the door first, Let him get
in the door. Something else he said too. That was
key before we go off, when you asked him what
did he do to be different from what he experiences
with his own father, and he said, you have to
be sick and tired of it.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
You it has to.
Speaker 4 (42:17):
Be I love that that you have to be sick
and tired of making the excuses. You know, their excuses.
People will you know, I didn't grow up that way.
I didn't grow up that way. I didn't grow up
that way. You grew up That is an excuse to
not do the work. And someone commented, I think it
was said, you have to set your mind to do
the work. Welcome evangelist favors. You have to set your
(42:40):
mind to do the work. And so he set his mind,
and he said that didn't want to be overly religious,
but he went to the scriptures and wrote down the
characteristics of Jesus. And so for those.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
Of you who are listening or will listen later to
this broad cast, we hope that you got something out
of this young father who this young man who is
a father who was determined that he was going to
do something different and be somebody different in order to
raise his daughter so that she will become a phenomenal woman,
(43:15):
so that she will become a virtuous woman. And so
there's some things too.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
He's so full of gifts that we're gonna have Amos
Dean back, and I know it's gonna appeal to some
of you young people in a way that that's gonna
blow your mind. And Audrey, as always, you are such
a gracious, gracious producer, and uh just I love what
you do for media and what you do for podcasting
(43:40):
and your radio programs in your community. So you all,
this is the noise what the noise maker media.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Just go and check her out. Go and check her out.
She's an author, she's a.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
Creator of dolls, you know, the first full figure doll.
Just go in and check her out too. She's always
promoting my men the street. But God has connected us
and I'm grateful for that.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
Audrey. I just wanted to throw that in there.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Thank you, doctor. And she always makes me bleushed. I'm dark, y'all,
y'all can't see it, but I'm blushing on over here.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Thank you. I appreciate that. He'll be back. He'll be back.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Listen if you guys enjoyed this episode. And as I
want to say, for you, it is so important what
you're doing, Like you don't even understand how important.
Speaker 3 (44:32):
It is, especially raising a daughter.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Yeah, that is so because there are so many broken
young women out there. We got broken men, but we
got broken young women because they did not have a
daughter present in your life, who took the time to
learn how to be compassionate, who learned how to be
emotionally connected. That is so important. So I'm so grateful
for you and what you're doing with your daughter. I
(44:55):
have a granddaughter. I have a one daughter and a granddaughter,
and I tried to be the best man that I
could for her, but you know, we encountered some things
because her dad wasn't there. So I'm grateful for you,
and I'm sure your wife is super grateful that you
are the person you are for your daughter. So thank
you for doing that, and thank you doctor Chen from
bringing him on here to share this with all of
(45:16):
the people that are listening so they can go back
and share it too, Because I know my daughter is
in a great relationship right now, but people are always
saying stuff and she feels like she have to defend
the millennial women when they say it, and so anytime
I can bring insight to her, I do. So I
would definitely be sharing this episode with her.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
But thank you all for doing what you do. Doctor Chan,
you know.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I love you the pieces, and thank you for bringing
great people into your sphere, into my sphere, to the
Facebook sphere and YouTube sphere and sharing all this great
wisdom so we can be a better place and a
better world for all of us, not just not just
not just us, but for all of us. So if
you enjoyed this episode, please go to doctor Chin's website
Lindochanministries dot com to listen to more episodes. To subscribe
(45:57):
to the show. Listen It's free, It's free to subscribe,
doesn't cost you a dime. All it does is caused
you to hit the button and subscribe. Do that too,
Share with two friends, not one, but two. We'll be
back again at two weeks, same place, same time, until
next time.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Make it a great day. Bye everybody, peace, I love you,
amos love you.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
You've been listening to Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chin.
If you enjoyed this episode, hit the like button then
share it with a friend. Be sure to support the
show by going to Lindachinministries dot com. Subscribe to the
show so you never miss an episode, and tune in
again in two weeks at two pm Eastern Standard time.
Until next time.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Keep the faith and keep it real.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.