November 13, 2024 • 48 mins
Dr. Linda P. Chinn is a native of New London, CT who currently resides in Douglasville, GA. She fulfills her mission of uprooting and pulling down false belief systems in the lives of God's people to build them up by planting in them the incorruptible seed of the living Word through her various ministries. Dr. Chinn is an accomplished entrepreneur and the creator of Linda Chinn Ministries as well as the founder of Christian Women in Training Network.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:18):
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, and good afternoon. Welcome to another
episode of Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. I'm
Auderbel Currenty, the producer of the show, and I will
bring it up. I will be bringing up doctor Chen
and her guest today. So the topic today is master
your own mind. Who child, let me tell you something
that is something serious right there, mastering your own mind.
I did a show earlier this morning and I had
to I had to make a hard decision about my
(00:40):
own mind. So I'm sure this is gonna be a
great show. The uh, doctor Chen guest today is doctor
Charles Houston. Listen, this is gonna be fire. So you
guys better get ready get your notepads out because I'm
sure you're gonna have to take some notes. Doctor Houston.
Is I keep saying Houston. So there is a guy
his name is spelled Houston, but he called himself House.
So I'm like, I'm study saying Houston when I know
(01:02):
it's Houston. But you know, people say different things. Doctor
Charles Houston is an associate pastor and pastor of Counseling
at the Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral in Austelle, Georgia,
where Bishop Delse Barnard Browner is a founder and senior
pastor there. He's also graduated from Syracuse University with the
being Mathematics. Hey go, math guy, I like math. I'm
(01:24):
a math and science person and tech person. Doctor Houston
obtained his Master of Divinity in two thousand and two
and his Doctor of Ministry degrees in two thousand and
three from Christian Life School of Theology. This is gonna
be a great session if you have been struggling trying
to figure out how to do things, trying to figure
out why you're not doing things, trying to figure out
(01:45):
what's up with you in the way you think about things.
I'm sure you're going to enjoy this session. So I'm
going to jump off and bring them right on up here.
So let's bring them up to the stage.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Hey, welcome, Welcome, welker.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Hey you guys.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I'm shore. This is gonna be a great conversation. I'm
a back going out and I'll be back at the
end of the show.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Thank you so much. Bookpreneur, entrepreneur Audrey bel Kearny. I
love our techie sister, don't we, Doctor Houston, Oh glory,
we love her. Thank you. So much for introducing my friend.
He and I have been friends for decades actually, and
you know, she mentioned some of his accomplishments, and you know,
(02:33):
he holds a degree not only in mathematics, but also
in marriage and family therapy. So he has not only
he's a pastor at a local church, but he also
has his own private practice right doing, you know, embracing
the the clinical part of psychology. And I just love it.
(02:54):
I love who he is. He's a wonderful person. He's funny,
he's talented, he's on to earth. He's just real. And
so I want to welcome my friend, yes, yes, yes,
doctor Charles Houston to the Keeping It Real with doctor
Linda Chen.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Hey, thank you so much, doctor Chen, my friend, my sister,
my colleague. It is truly a blessing and I'm really
humbled to be on your podcast today. I really am.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Thank you so much. So I already know that we're
going to have to have you back because of your
degrees in marriage and family therapy. Right, so we're going
we've already established that. So let me tell you how
we got tested today. Everybody. So the topic is.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Keeping it Real. This is keeping it Real.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So the topic is master your mind. We've experienced so
many technological obstructions and challenges today we org and I
think been doing this. I believe this is going on
year three. What happened today has never happened before whatever.
And so I said, Lord, you are testing us with
(04:05):
this on top with this topic to master your mind.
And so one thing I know about doctor Houston is
he and I, like I said, we've been friends in
colleges for a long time, and he is even keeled.
He's wise, he's shrewd. He knows the time to speak
and the time to keep silence. And so there's some
(04:26):
questions we want to ask of the good doctor today
and you know, we're just gonna flow. And so, as
a licensed psychologist, doctor Houston, do you have a particular
area of focus?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yes, yes, excellent question. I actually counsel individuals, couples and families.
But my clinical areas of focus are a self esteem building, depression, anxiety,
stress management, anger management, grief and loss. I love self
care arena, and also spiritual formation.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Wow, I didn't know all of that, So now I
know we definitely have to have you back. And now
we understand what the issue in the warfare was right. Yeah,
so that's all right, We're more than conquerors. I kept
saying what we are, not what we're dealing with. Okay,
that is beautiful. So I'm gonna have to come back
to that when we invite you back. But what is
(05:23):
your general approach to leading people to overall well being?
Even when you think about all those things you just mentioned.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So initially, when I have a client come in for
their first session or the intake session, from a clinical standpoint,
I set a safe, secure atmosphere for them. Our pastor
always says everything happens in an atmosphere, and so you
want to set the stage for them to come in
and know that they are safe and they can be
(05:52):
open and honest with whatever it is that they need
to say. I have clients restate why they need the
therapy and to kind of go over the things that
they've already put in their intake paperwork. We do require
intake paperwork as clinical clinicians, and so I have them
(06:13):
come in and talk about it verbally. Though even though
I have information on a form, I need them to
speak and get it out. Part of the process has
to do with venting and allowing them to express what's
on the paper and what they feel in their hearts.
And I'm also very much a catch the moment kind
(06:33):
of clinical therapists. I like to know what's going on
with people in their hearts, in their minds when they
first come in, even if it's not you know, some
homework that we're going over. I want to know what's
going on with them in the moment, which is extremely important.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
So you said something, So you said, you have them
write down why they think they came in. So do
you have people who come in because someone told them to?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Absolutely? I have people that come in well, and a
lot of times most of my married couples, one or
both of them are coming in because somebody told them
they need to come in. And so. But even with individuals,
it there tends to be there's such a stigma against
mental health that people don't want to address or deal
(07:24):
with the fact that our mindsets need to be massaged,
need to be healed, need to be looked at, need
to be addressed. All of us, in my opinion, needs
some level of form of therapy. And that does not
make you less of an individual, It does not make
you less of a Christian, It does not make you
less of a man or a woman. It makes you
(07:46):
better when you get in there and do the work.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Doesn't make you less than. I hope y'all are listening
to this. It doesn't make you less than. It makes
you better. And to be honest, because this is the
keeping it real. To be honest with you, I have
found that a lot of African American people, yes, will
go the opposite way of seeking therapy and seeking counseling
(08:10):
because we have this stigma with us, and I think
it's rooted in pride to some degree. But my thing
is this, this is what I say. If your tooth hirts,
you called a dentist, all right, you know what I'm saying.
If your foot hurt, you go to the podietory. So
if you've got something going going on in your mind,
then you need to go to the therapist or the
(08:31):
counselor who will help you deal with your mind. So
I want to ask you, what would you say most
people think about their own minds? What do people think
about their own minds?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
To be honest with you, to answer the question, honestly,
most people don't do much thinking about the condition of
their minds. In addition to that, they don't do much
thinking about their bodies until it's too late there's something
going on in their bodies. Or let's take it to
the spiritual realm. We don't often assess how we think,
(09:09):
how we process spiritual principles and the Word of God.
A lot of us are going on things that we
have been mistaught as people of God instead of as
the Bible says in two Timothy two fifteen, study to
show yourself approve under God, workmen that need not be ashamed,
to rightly divide the Word of truth for yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
And that's the God in the spiritual side. But let's
not forget we have a side of people who are
not Bible readers, Bible teachers, don't go to church, so
we want to be able to relate to them too
on the keeping it real right, and even the people
who are spiritual, but whether the church has turned them
off and they don't want to hear about God and
the Bible and Jesus and all of this, we cannot
(09:54):
walk away, stray away disregard right those people and how
they think and what they think about their own mind.
And so you know what I'm saying, that's likely even
it real you and I already know this, and so
is there a way that you help people to come
to the conclusion that we.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Need to think about what we think about And that's
very good the way that you put that, and I'm
going to add to your your wise statement from a
clinical standpoint. We also let people know it's okay not
to be okay. And I will add this, it's okay
to not be okay. But once you realize you're okay,
(10:37):
it's that you're not okay. It's not good to stay
not okay, meaning not getting the help that you need.
And so you know, it's it's important. It's important that
that we we utilize the tools that that we've been
given to to assess what conditions someone's mind is in
(10:59):
and and help them to get to a better point
in the growth process of their minds.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
M hm. So, now you and I were ministers of
the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. We believe in Jesus.
We know people who don't. I mean, I'm friends or
family members who are Muslim and whatever else they believe
in and all of that. You don't throw people out
because of their beliefs. How can you be liked if
(11:26):
you're just in the lightning, and you know you understand
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Understood, Yes, So.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I guess what I'm trying to ask you is what
are some techniques that you would offer to aid someone
and caring for their minds and managing their thoughts, Like
what would you say to someone? So I ask you
two ways, Okay, what would you say to someone who
professes to be a Christian? And what would you say
(11:52):
to someone who you know is not a Christian? And
managing their caring for their minds and managing their thoughts.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Absolutely. So, first of all, as a clinical therapist, that
we have on our intake forms an area that says
do you want spirituality included in your sessions? So people
have the ability to opt in or out of that.
It's totally up to them, and so the ones that
opt out of it, it's important that we assess and
(12:24):
address the issues that they're having mentally. So the main
technique that I use is called CBT or cognitive behavioral
theory or therapy. CBT is a clinical mental health modality
or theory used to affect the people's thoughts in terms
of how dysfunctions take place. So CBT says basically that
(12:45):
there are automatic thoughts that occur in certain situations. Those
thoughts create certain feelings that lead to dysfunctional behaviors. So
the therapist teaches the clients certain coping mechanisms to address
UH and work towards healing of those automatic thoughts.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
All right, now you're in my head, in my head,
in my head. All you're so. I heard you say
that our thoughts create certain emotions. Did I hear you
say that?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yes, yes, ma'am, Yes they do.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay, So if I come to you and tell you
about all my problems. My husband's the problem, my children
are the problem, my boss is the problem. Everybody is
the problem. And they caused me anxiety because that's how
I think. It's everybody else but me, And so all
(13:42):
of those thoughts about this everybody else but me, creates
this feeling. Now I have these feelings about the pastor
the church, the job, the husband, and children. What do
you need to say to me?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
What I'm going to say to you is is help
you to consider that you are the the You are
the common denominator in every relationship that you have. And
so it reminds me. Let me say it again what
I would say to you is that you are the
(14:16):
common denominator in every relationship, personal, professional, spiritual that you have,
and so we have to go to the source to
identify or determine whether or not all these people are
the problem or if you, the person that's come into
therapy is actually a big part of the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But I'm not the problem, understood, But but I'm not
the problem, doctor Houston. So how do you break through that?
Speaker 3 (14:51):
The way that I break through that is I ask
for clients to give me examples of things that are
going on in their lives, and then we start to
talk about their their thought process, We start to talk
about their feelings in certain situations. We get two facts
of things that are said, things that are done, and
(15:13):
then I'm able to give my clinical opinion and my my, my,
my focus on the things that are causing the issue
as opposed to what the client may think is causing
the issue. Kind of like with a medical doctor. You know,
sometimes we go into a medical doctor and we think
one thing is going on, but the doctor lets us no, no,
this is actually what's going on. This is what you
(15:35):
what you need to do with the medicine. You need
to take the exercise you need to get this is
what you need to do.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So those are the techniques, the mental exercises, the asking them,
the questions to get to the facts. Those are your techniques.
So when say I leave your office and I'm still
blaming everybody else, what technique could I go back to
help me come to a place of reality. I'm the
common denominator. So first out of the bucket you give.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Me, So first and foremost you have to understand. And
as a therapist, I help clients understand if there's any
healing that's going to take place, it's not because I'm
giving you tools, it's because you're utilizing the tools and
doing homework that I give to you.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Well, don't go, don't drive by that. It's not because
you've given me tools. It's because I'm using the tools.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Absolutely absolutely, So there is an an accountability on the
client to to to get the the the the healing
that they need and to come to the proper conclusions
and address negative irrational thoughts to get to a place
(16:55):
of a better mental health posture. It's it's kind of
like an analogy in the physical realm, is people who
want to lose weight but they want somebody else to
work out and go to the gym for them. That's
not going to help the person who wants to lose
weight and get in shape. You have to do the work.
(17:16):
You have to lift the weights, you have to get
on the track and walk. You have to take those
bands and stretch.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Okay, so y'all, I'm gonna help y'all. I'm gonna help
doctor Houston.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Help us, help me to help you.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Because I'm getting some help. Heer to y'all don't even
know this is therapeutic. So I had some health challenges
this year where part of it was physical therapy, and
they gave me some bands, right, some light bands, some
medium bands, some strong bands. And then I realized that
those bands were sitting in the bag for a while.
(17:58):
So when I went back to get the physical therapy,
they said, well, have you been using the band? So
I had the tools, but I wasn't using them. And
so when I went back for a check up, I
hadn't gotten any better. And I said, girl, pull the
bands out the band and use the band. So this
is good dog, and I love this.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So so in your professional opinion, do you believe? And
I think you're going to say yes, and I think
you already answer it. Is there such a thing as
faulty thinking? And is that what you meant when you
said I'm the common denominator?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yes. Usually from a clinical standpoint in CBT, faulty thinking
can be called cognitive distortions. Uh, and there are a
number of them. They're irrational or or personally biased thought
patterns that caused things like depression and anxiety.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, so you cognitive distort So does anybody remember when
we would go to the circus or when we would
go to whatever the fair was, and we'd get in
front of these mirrors. Well, we know we looked like
when we stood in front of them, but then they
distorted your body and your head and you would be crooked,
or you would be fatter, it would be skinny, and
(19:19):
there was a distortion. And I thought, what I looked
like when I stood in front of that mirror. But
that mirror is showing me a distorted view or reflection
if you will, of what I'm really not. But because
I see this reflection, it kind of freaked me out right.
(19:40):
So can you parallel those those thoughts like a mirror
that shows a distorted me versus what I know I
really look like in my mind.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Yes, first I can get. Let me give you some
of the potential cognitive dis distortions that we deal with.
There's a term called over generalization to where we we
we just we we kind of make things so simple
or so difficult, and and it takes it to the
(20:15):
point where things are not accurate, and so we we
embellish a lot. A lot of times over generalization comes
in embellishments. We also do something another cognitive distortion is
called catastrophizing. I call that the heaven is falling, that
everything everything is bad, everything is wrong, everybody's gonna die,
(20:38):
everything is.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And little effect, the chicken.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Little effect, that's what I was trying to think about. Chicken,
the sky is falling. Then we have all or nothing thinking.
That's another cognitive distortion, where it's either your way or
the highway. You know, it's it's it's it's all in,
and and that that is not really where life normally lands. Again,
(21:07):
it's the last one was all or nothing thinking, all
or nothing thinking, and and that really does not work,
particularly in relationships, including a marriage, that that very rarely
is there all or nothing thinking that helps you build
your marriage. And so the only thing that's all or
(21:30):
nothing is the Word of God. But how we live
our lives based on the principles that that's more of
a gray area. And even Jesus Christ, I'm not preaching today,
but Jesus Christ live the principles of the Word in
the gray area.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, you have to come back. So let's talk about
this over generalization. There was a podcast that we did
a while back, I can Ordery will remember, and it
was called you only always never?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you only do this?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you always do this? Are you never do that? Right?
And so is that like over generalization? Is that a
good example?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah? Yeah, that that that could be over generalization or
all or nothing thinking. So when I have clients who
have that mindset, and I what I do is I
encourage and and and how can I say sensitively question
that kind of thinking. So if a person says, well,
(22:39):
my wife don't ever cook my my my my husband,
don't ever hug me or or or or or he
or she never says I love you, And I said, okay,
let's let's stop and let's talk about that. Let's park
different there. You've been married how long or y'all been dating?
How long? And and and they tell me, And then
I say, okay, in X amount of years, you're telling
(23:00):
me that your significant other has never brought you a
glass of water, never, never brought you flowers, never helped
you get well, but brought medicine to you, never, never
gave you money, never, They've never done anything for you.
And what it does is it focuses in on I
(23:21):
don't want to say how ludicrous the statement is, but
it makes them think, well, no, that's not exactly correct.
So now when you clinically call them on it, it
makes them think and come out of the cognitive distortion
and do more with a reality that that's actually there.
(23:41):
So we may be able to say, okay, he or
she doesn't often do this, is that more accurate? And
more often than not, I can get the client to say, well, yeah,
that's correct. So we pull them away from the over
generalization and the all or nothing thinking.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, you pull us out of that faulty thinking it's falsey,
thinking I hope somebody's hearing, and I pray that you
that you're getting something out of this today. This Now
I understand why we had so many problems. Technologically, I'm
getting it. I'm getting it because this is good to
me and for me. I don't know about job, but
I'm getting something right. So what would you say that
(24:23):
there's a direct Well no, no, no, no, because you're established that.
So what are some ways that you help people to
see how to get back on the right track. So
so maybe i've kind of I don't like what you
said because you're making me look at myself and you're
making me hear how ridiculous I sound when I say
(24:47):
those things or think those things. How would you help
me get on the right track and the better way
of thinking?
Speaker 3 (24:55):
So again, I have to, you know, to repeat what
you just said. I have to get the client to
see it for themselves, to see that their initial statements
or beliefs or this is a better word, their perception
of themselves or the situation is not entirely accurate. Once
I can get them to admit to that, because I
(25:19):
can't tell them that just the same way no one
else could. But once I get them to realize and
in and of themselves say yeah, okay, I see you
know that something is a little off, then I can
start to give them coping mechanisms as what we call
it in terms of how to deal with whatever situation
(25:40):
it is that they're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And this is great. And so as this is Veterans
Day and we honor our veterans today, we want to
recognize and we dedicate this episode to you veterans. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, who have gone through so much
mental trauma because of being in warfare and around warfare
and death and destruction and so forth. And so they
(26:04):
sometimes would get to go to therapy to try to
get their thoughts regulated and to help them to be
able to calm down. And so this leads actually good
segue to my next question, and in that, what are
some practical tips that you would provide for someone who
pass easily or has anxiety attacks. Now I'm not saying
(26:27):
every war veteran or every veteran panics easily and always
has anxiety attacks, but certainly I know my husband actually
served in the last two campaigns. Some people have been
in military, but some people have actually served when there
was war, and for instance, my husband was in the
Operation Iraqi Freedom of Campaign and then the Desert Storm, right,
(26:52):
and so we know that people came out not always Okay,
how do we deal with anxiety and attacks?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
So just immediately a few of the coping mechanisms that
often help people who have anxiety panic attacks are going
through some sort of post traumatic stress disorder is, first
of all, breathing breathing techniques. There are several different breathing
techniques out there in terms of allowing yourself to to
(27:24):
to calm yourself because usually when we're panicked, our breathing
rate is extremely fast, which means that that the oxygen
is not going through our body the way that it
needs to be. And the quicker we can get a
get a hold of that through a breathing technique, the
more it helps. That's why when someone is in an accident,
(27:47):
for example, or they're going through shock, the first thing
that that ems worker a person has to do is
get them to calm down. And the words calm down
don't always help. And so say that again again, yeah, yeah,
to get a person to calm down. Rarely does telling
them to calm down help them. That that doesn't help anything,
(28:09):
And so you have to give them and and something
that they can do when you say, follow me, just
breathe in, you know, just as an example, and they can.
They can watch you and and then breathe in and
then breathe out that and also letting them know because
their mind is saying, oh, I'm oh, I'm wounded beyond repair.
Oh I'm gonna die. Oh this is gonna happen, And
(28:30):
you have to let them know you're fine, you're good. Breathe.
I need to look at me. Don't don't, don't, don't,
don't look at the wound, don't look don't look at them,
look look at me.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
You're so fine. Breathe, You're okay.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then you can you can
literally lead them by example in in the breathing and
and I mean that that is so powerful. It sounds simple,
but it's it is amazingly powerful for your mental health
and your body regulation. So that that's one technique. Another
(29:05):
technique that is extremely effective in dealing with emotions is
what we call journaling, writing down. And we're in a
technology ad, so I tell people, well, if you don't
do much writing that you do have a cell phone,
you do have an eye, PA have a laptop. So
what I need you to do if you don't want
to write, you don't have a pen and paper I
need you to type your feelings, type them somewhere that
(29:26):
you can keep them safe, lock a way where nobody
else can see them, and and and and and and
and get that out. Because the paper becomes the ear
of a therapist. If I can't be there, if you're
at there, yeah, yeah, I'll say it again. The paper
or the laptop or the device becomes a digital therapist
(29:50):
or or or or or or it becomes a place
to to put those emotions and and and to analyze
your own thoughts and so breathing, journaling. I mean, there's
other things that we do. Mindfulness is another modality where
you sit and uh and and focus on yourself, focus
(30:14):
on your your your body, what where where your feelings,
and say there's numbers of things, sensations. Do you have
stress in a particular area. Stress comes to different areas
for different people. Stress comes in the shoulders for some folks,
stress comes in the head. My wife, as an example,
stress always has come for her up up in her
(30:36):
lower lower head and top of her back. So I
would I would sometimes massage the lower part of her,
her head, her brain back here, and and after a
while she she it would feel so good. She'd fall asleep.
Well yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel stressed different places,
maybe in your in your in your in your legs,
(30:57):
wherever that is. You focus on that and and and
start to self sue massage.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So this is keeping it real. So for somebody thinking
right now, but that ain't Christian, that's yoga self soothing
and all that. No no, no no no no, yeah,
I'm because this is really keeping it real. You know
that's real. These are techniques. These are techniques. These are techniques,
(31:29):
and that's why God has given us people in all fields,
right you in all fields, and and so that we
can be a blessing to people and bring healing to people,
whether it's mental, physical, spiritual, psychological, physiological, biology. I'll get
all the ologies in there now and so and so
(31:52):
I thank you, thank you, thank you. That is absolutely
huge and healing.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
And so can I say something to you about that
that meditation that the word meditation really is a scriptural word.
See let me say it this way. And I learned
this not in clinical but I learned this from my pastor,
my bishop, who's your bishop. The only type of meditation
(32:21):
that you avoid is what's called transcendental meditation. Is not
of God. It is a form of meditation where you
blank out your mind. Nowhere in scripture does God call
you to blank out your mind. That right right, You
use your mind, you refocus your mind, you rep Yeah,
(32:45):
we're supposed to meditate on something, primarily the scriptures in
the Bible. With with with meditation in clinical therapy, there's
always you focus. You focus your mind on a on
a place you love to go. As an example, if
(33:05):
the beach is the place where you where you can
be calm, at a pool side in the mountains, wherever
you focus on that that good place, that that that
safe space so that you can calm yourself, and and
and never never blank your mind. But meditation is something
God created, not not the enemy, and not people.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
So I taught the children. I have a It's called
Mary's Babies Bible Study. We meet every other Sunday from
one pm to one eleven year olds to fifteen year olds.
Y'all just reach out to me at infot Linditchin dot
com and I'll share it with you.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
But I was teaching them.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
We talked about we went through Psal one about meditating
on the word day and night, and they were amazed
to find that a cow has four stomachs and how
they chew the cud. That's what meditation is. It's bringing
the food back up, chewing it all over again. That's
why people use the term let me chew on it, right,
that's meant let me think about it. That's what meditation.
(34:08):
That's the meditation doctor Houston is referring to. But we're
gonna move on because here we can go there, right, Yes,
he can go there. And so I had so many
other questions, but you really helped us with these panic
and anxiety attack techniques to help us, you know, to
think about it. He said, Calm down, breathe, You're gonna
(34:29):
be okay. Remember these things. Go back to this podcast
if you need to to remember some techniques and things
that we may have said that will help you in
your marriage, with your family and your mind, because this
episode is about mastering your mind. Mastering your mind helps
you in your emotions. And so we got to bring
(34:50):
Audrey back, right, because Audrey always has some takeaways and
doctor Houston, I love her takeaways. But before we bring
Audrey back, I just want to ask you one more
thing is how can people get in touch with you
if they want to get in touch with you, whether
it's familial counseling, marital counseling, or general counsel how can
(35:10):
they get in touch with you, sir, okay.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Really quickly. So a number to reach me at is
six seven eight sixty six one five eight six ones. Again,
I'll say six seven eight sixty six one five eight
six one. My email address, I'll say it then spell
it is Charles Houston dot d h at gmail dot com.
That's spelled c h A r l E s h
(35:37):
o U s t o N dot ds and dog
season kat h as in Harry at gmail dot com.
And that that's from a clinical standpoint. If you want
to get in contact with me for pastoral counseling, you
can call our church, Word of Fay Family Worship Cathedral
again pastored by Bishop Dale Browner. And that church number
(35:58):
is seven seven zero A seven four eighty four.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Hundred, Amen, beautiful, give me a virtual high five ah man,
I'm going and bring it to us. Your takeaways, my sister,
we can't hear you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Mike turned off. That was powerful. Can you give me
that church number one more time? Because you say it
a little fast.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Seven zero seven seven zero eight seven four eight four
zero zero or eighty four hundred. That's word of Face's main.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Number eight seven zero eight seven.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
A seven four war M four excellent.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Eighty four hundred. Mm hmm, all right, cool, Well I
can I can tell you I had So I've been
over there having a couple of piphanies, had a couple
of laughing moments, had a couple of thoughts. First of all,
I can't a quiet my mind down for anything, so
let me just start righting there. Yeah, I have been.
(37:11):
I have been doing mine work since nineteen ninety eight.
That's when I started, and so I know it's very powerful.
Then I took it very seriously in two thousand and
eight where I started to read more and learn more.
Here's the question I had right because you said something.
You said, people are there's a stigma in our community,
in the black community about mental health, and I was like,
(37:33):
is it a stigma or is it an ego thing?
I don't need that. I can figure it out that
kind because I hit that a lot, and stuff is
still broken because you tried to figure it out and
nothing has been figured out. So I just want to
know what's your thoughts on that.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
It could be a stigma, it could be an ego
or pride thing, it could be a fear. A lot
of the people in our communities have been miseducated about
what psychotherapy is about. And and and just to be
honest with you, were keeping it real, the initial construction
(38:10):
of psychotherapy really did not include what we call racial consideration.
I'll say it that way. So there are things that
people of color may need because of you know, the
lives that we lead and things we deal with that
people who are of the majority don't face. And so
(38:34):
there's there's things that are There's been negative things that
have happened in our society in the past that has
caused a fear to come up about what what therapy
is about. Sometimes it's a you know, for clinical therapy,
people can't afford it, so that there's an economic connection
to to certain good therapy. And then I wanted to
(38:56):
say this too. I have a T shirt that I
love the slogan I'm a big quote person, and the
T shirt says it's okay to have Jesus and a therapist.
And we have to teach our friends and family that
you going to a therapist does not eliminate your faith
and your trust in God, the same way that if
(39:18):
you go to a physical doctor, which most of us do,
it does not negate the faith you have that God
is going to heal you or help you with your ailment,
your dysfunction.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Hm mm hmm. I am yeah. We all give me
one on that one. I I I was kind of laughing.
So I was laughing because and this is keeping it real,
doctor Linda Chin. So I just got to say this part.
So I'm saying, here, doctor Chin, right, And I said myself,
m m, how many arguments does his wife win? Because
(39:54):
he has logic for everything? And I'm saying it's so
point as I'm being really silly now, but that was
a thought that came to my mind because I feel like,
you know, when I when I think about my husband, right,
he won't even ask me questions because he feels like
I'm just gonna lose, so I just won't. I won't
even ask questions. In my mind, I'm thinking asks the
question because I don't have all the answers. So when
(40:16):
I'm listening to you talk, I'm wondering, like, you know,
how does how do you have? Because that's a mindset too.
That's a mindset you know when I think about people
that just happy wife, happy life. And I'm not gonna
say anything. That's a mindset that's not that's not gonna
make you happy because I don't know if I'm doing
the right thing, you know. So what do you say
(40:37):
to that person?
Speaker 3 (40:40):
First of all, when you say Audrey, Look, when you
say Audrey, how many? How many conversations do I win?
Or does my wife? When yeah that that the question
came to my mind is how many doesn't she win?
But anyway, man, So what I was going to say is,
(41:02):
you know, we have to get to the point where
and tell me again what the question was.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Specifically, I think I think when I think about when
I think about couples, right, and I think about my
husband and the way he thinks about things. His mindset
is happy wife, happy life. I'm not that person like
I need to know what's wrong, like tell me what's wrong.
But the mindset is I ain't saying nothing because happy wife,
(41:31):
happy life. And so what do you say to those
people who believe, like especially the men who believe that
whole theory of happy wife, happy life. So I won't
say anything right.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
So some of it has to do with the particular
person you're with, because there are, as you both know,
some some wives out there who feel that way. You
keep me happy. What you really can't do, that's a
whole nother that's a whole you can't keep you can't
keep being happy. But that's a whole other show. I'm
not gonna put a pin in that one right now,
(42:01):
But let me give you another another term. I've learned
that I believe in much more than just happy wife,
happy life. I heard this before and it says happy spouse,
happy house, the house if if we are, come on now,
don't start that. We ain't got no time, don't start.
(42:22):
It's it's important that we care about each other in
our marriage. Uh, the same way the man is not.
The husband's not more important that the wife shouldn't be
more important either, We're equally important. And the truth of
the matter, as Christians and know we talk my clinical
stuff today, but as Christians, God is the one who's
who's important really in our marriage covenant. We we we
(42:45):
we we just we just how do we say? Just
squirrels try to get a nut? God is God, and
the more that we do what he said, the more
we we come out the way he said we'd come out.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yeah. I also want to add the one note about
the anxiety I had back in doing between nineteen and
twenty two. You know, all the stuff that was going on.
You had the George Floyd thing, you had the pandemic.
I lost my mom in the pandemic. It wasn't a lot.
So after all of that, I was a mess. But
my friend was a tapping clinician, and she taught me
(43:20):
how to tap out anxiety because she suffered with anxiety.
So she taught me how to tap on the meridian
points and that helped me so much in journaling.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Those two things.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Were so so good for me. So I do them
to this very like right before the show. I journal.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
That's good. Yeah, yeah yeah. Can I be honest with
you since we're keeping it real. And when we first
came on here and things were not working, and I
had to First of all, I hadn't eaten anything, so
I had to go grab something to eat, put some
crackers in my stomach. And then when I came back
and I still you know, I didn't let you all
(43:57):
know in time. I didn't see the email with link.
And so I'm going, man, have I messed up the
show today? And so I had God had to call
me down, he said, relax. And then I started breathing, breathing, breathing,
breathing sit They that wighed upon the Lord anyway. So
(44:19):
I had to exercise the just just a not a
deep breathing, but just just calm myself because again again
I'm a therapist, unpastor, but my mind was about to
go somewhere unproductive and and and and and negative and
caused me to be unprepared with what God was already
(44:41):
working out.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
So so you had to master your mind. You had
to master your mind. And that's what this whole thing
is about. And I wanted to say one more thing
with the doctor Houston's point, if you can't write it
out and journal it out, you can put your phone
on and record it, record yourself. Do well, how whatever
you have to do. So we want to thank doctor
Houston so much for his contribution, for his wisdom. Thank Audrey,
(45:06):
I thank you guy for bringing us through all these
technological issues. But this was on purpose. No, you cannot
convince me that the issues we had were not on
purpose so that we could exercise the very thing that
we're here to talk about.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Won't he do it?
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Well, this was a great episode. I think people probably
got a lot out of it, especially where we are
right now, this day in time, because a lot of
people just really in their heads about everything, to the
point where I saw a young lady who took her
life and her children. She jumped off to the Niagara
Falls like she couldn't take it, you know. So there's
a lot of people who, even me, I had a
(45:45):
mental breakdown on Wednesday morning, like my husband, Oh boy,
he was in the shower. He was in the shower
at about three forty five. I never wake up. I
never wake up when he goes to work. I heard
him as clear as we're talking, say, oh boy. And
I woke completely up and sat on the side of
the bed and I was like, oh my God. And
then I was a mess. But but I had to
(46:07):
take control of my mind and pull it together, and
I did. And so there are a lot of this
messages timing. There are a lot of people who are
really struggling right now to master their mind and to
understand that it's all God. It's all God's will and
we have to we have to be okay with that.
And I had to be okay with that.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
So and what God did for me Wednesday is he
literally took me back to the scriptures. He told me,
don't don't, don't get off of social media, don't don't
do you don't need to cut TV on. He took
me to my Bible. God's on the truth. And I'm
a big quote person, so I quote all the time anyway,
but I for a day and a half, all I
(46:46):
could quote was scriptures. That's all that that that came
to me. And I realized he was centering me back
and keeping me from from daring to go to an
area of fear, because God is not giving us a
spirit of fear, but the power and love it it's
ourn mind. And so he had to remind the preacher
he's in control.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Bottom man, Amen, take us home, Mardrick.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
All right, listen. If you guys enjoyed this episode, be
sure to go to this website Doctor Lindonton dot com,
Linda Chairmanistries dot com, subscribe to the show. Share the
show with diffriend whether you listen to it on Spotify, YouTube, LinkedIn,
wherever you're listening to the show, Share this show because
it has a great message, and also be sure to
follow doctor doctor. I don't know why he wanted to
call you doctor Houston. Like God's spells. It just like
(47:34):
that he always make make a note that it's housing.
It looks like it's Houston. Now now I'm stuck saying Houston.
Connect with doctor Houston. He gave you some phone numbers.
Go back and listen to the episode. Get the phone numbers,
write them down, give him a holler. Listen. It sounds
like he can help you if you need the help
and soaking doctor ten, so be sure to connect with them.
That's what we're here for. If you want to support
this show. Golden Linda Chairministries dot com. We have to,
(47:56):
more than ever, more than ever, keep this message going.
We have to more than ever keep this positivity going
more than ever. It's gonna take all of us, not
three of us, all of us, all of us. It's
gonna take all of us. So we thank you for listening.
Doctor Jenny Back in two weeks, same place, same time.
It's nice to meet you. Thank you for such great show. Listen, guys,
(48:20):
you guys, take care o the on until next time.
The next time, make it a great day. Everybody peace.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Thank you so much, Thank you doctor Say
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, and good afternoon. Welcome to another
episode of Keeping It Real with Doctor Linda Chen. I'm
Auderbel Currenty, the producer of the show, and I will
bring it up. I will be bringing up doctor Chen
and her guest today. So the topic today is master
your own mind. Who child, let me tell you something
that is something serious right there, mastering your own mind.
I did a show earlier this morning and I had
to I had to make a hard decision about my
(00:40):
own mind. So I'm sure this is gonna be a
great show. The uh, doctor Chen guest today is doctor
Charles Houston. Listen, this is gonna be fire. So you
guys better get ready get your notepads out because I'm
sure you're gonna have to take some notes. Doctor Houston.
Is I keep saying Houston. So there is a guy
his name is spelled Houston, but he called himself House.
So I'm like, I'm study saying Houston when I know
(01:02):
it's Houston. But you know, people say different things. Doctor
Charles Houston is an associate pastor and pastor of Counseling
at the Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral in Austelle, Georgia,
where Bishop Delse Barnard Browner is a founder and senior
pastor there. He's also graduated from Syracuse University with the
being Mathematics. Hey go, math guy, I like math. I'm
(01:24):
a math and science person and tech person. Doctor Houston
obtained his Master of Divinity in two thousand and two
and his Doctor of Ministry degrees in two thousand and
three from Christian Life School of Theology. This is gonna
be a great session if you have been struggling trying
to figure out how to do things, trying to figure
out why you're not doing things, trying to figure out
(01:45):
what's up with you in the way you think about things.
I'm sure you're going to enjoy this session. So I'm
going to jump off and bring them right on up here.
So let's bring them up to the stage.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Hey, welcome, Welcome, welker.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Hey you guys.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I'm shore. This is gonna be a great conversation. I'm
a back going out and I'll be back at the
end of the show.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Thank you so much. Bookpreneur, entrepreneur Audrey bel Kearny. I
love our techie sister, don't we, Doctor Houston, Oh glory,
we love her. Thank you. So much for introducing my friend.
He and I have been friends for decades actually, and
you know, she mentioned some of his accomplishments, and you know,
(02:33):
he holds a degree not only in mathematics, but also
in marriage and family therapy. So he has not only
he's a pastor at a local church, but he also
has his own private practice right doing, you know, embracing
the the clinical part of psychology. And I just love it.
(02:54):
I love who he is. He's a wonderful person. He's funny,
he's talented, he's on to earth. He's just real. And
so I want to welcome my friend, yes, yes, yes,
doctor Charles Houston to the Keeping It Real with doctor
Linda Chen.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Hey, thank you so much, doctor Chen, my friend, my sister,
my colleague. It is truly a blessing and I'm really
humbled to be on your podcast today. I really am.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Thank you so much. So I already know that we're
going to have to have you back because of your
degrees in marriage and family therapy. Right, so we're going
we've already established that. So let me tell you how
we got tested today. Everybody. So the topic is.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Keeping it Real. This is keeping it Real.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So the topic is master your mind. We've experienced so
many technological obstructions and challenges today we org and I
think been doing this. I believe this is going on
year three. What happened today has never happened before whatever.
And so I said, Lord, you are testing us with
(04:05):
this on top with this topic to master your mind.
And so one thing I know about doctor Houston is
he and I, like I said, we've been friends in
colleges for a long time, and he is even keeled.
He's wise, he's shrewd. He knows the time to speak
and the time to keep silence. And so there's some
(04:26):
questions we want to ask of the good doctor today
and you know, we're just gonna flow. And so, as
a licensed psychologist, doctor Houston, do you have a particular
area of focus?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yes, yes, excellent question. I actually counsel individuals, couples and families.
But my clinical areas of focus are a self esteem building, depression, anxiety,
stress management, anger management, grief and loss. I love self
care arena, and also spiritual formation.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Wow, I didn't know all of that, So now I
know we definitely have to have you back. And now
we understand what the issue in the warfare was right. Yeah,
so that's all right, We're more than conquerors. I kept
saying what we are, not what we're dealing with. Okay,
that is beautiful. So I'm gonna have to come back
to that when we invite you back. But what is
(05:23):
your general approach to leading people to overall well being?
Even when you think about all those things you just mentioned.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
So initially, when I have a client come in for
their first session or the intake session, from a clinical standpoint,
I set a safe, secure atmosphere for them. Our pastor
always says everything happens in an atmosphere, and so you
want to set the stage for them to come in
and know that they are safe and they can be
(05:52):
open and honest with whatever it is that they need
to say. I have clients restate why they need the
therapy and to kind of go over the things that
they've already put in their intake paperwork. We do require
intake paperwork as clinical clinicians, and so I have them
(06:13):
come in and talk about it verbally. Though even though
I have information on a form, I need them to
speak and get it out. Part of the process has
to do with venting and allowing them to express what's
on the paper and what they feel in their hearts.
And I'm also very much a catch the moment kind
(06:33):
of clinical therapists. I like to know what's going on
with people in their hearts, in their minds when they
first come in, even if it's not you know, some
homework that we're going over. I want to know what's
going on with them in the moment, which is extremely important.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
So you said something, So you said, you have them
write down why they think they came in. So do
you have people who come in because someone told them to?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Absolutely? I have people that come in well, and a
lot of times most of my married couples, one or
both of them are coming in because somebody told them
they need to come in. And so. But even with individuals,
it there tends to be there's such a stigma against
mental health that people don't want to address or deal
(07:24):
with the fact that our mindsets need to be massaged,
need to be healed, need to be looked at, need
to be addressed. All of us, in my opinion, needs
some level of form of therapy. And that does not
make you less of an individual, It does not make
you less of a Christian, It does not make you
less of a man or a woman. It makes you
(07:46):
better when you get in there and do the work.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Doesn't make you less than. I hope y'all are listening
to this. It doesn't make you less than. It makes
you better. And to be honest, because this is the
keeping it real. To be honest with you, I have
found that a lot of African American people, yes, will
go the opposite way of seeking therapy and seeking counseling
(08:10):
because we have this stigma with us, and I think
it's rooted in pride to some degree. But my thing
is this, this is what I say. If your tooth hirts,
you called a dentist, all right, you know what I'm saying.
If your foot hurt, you go to the podietory. So
if you've got something going going on in your mind,
then you need to go to the therapist or the
(08:31):
counselor who will help you deal with your mind. So
I want to ask you, what would you say most
people think about their own minds? What do people think
about their own minds?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
To be honest with you, to answer the question, honestly,
most people don't do much thinking about the condition of
their minds. In addition to that, they don't do much
thinking about their bodies until it's too late there's something
going on in their bodies. Or let's take it to
the spiritual realm. We don't often assess how we think,
(09:09):
how we process spiritual principles and the Word of God.
A lot of us are going on things that we
have been mistaught as people of God instead of as
the Bible says in two Timothy two fifteen, study to
show yourself approve under God, workmen that need not be ashamed,
to rightly divide the Word of truth for yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
And that's the God in the spiritual side. But let's
not forget we have a side of people who are
not Bible readers, Bible teachers, don't go to church, so
we want to be able to relate to them too
on the keeping it real right, and even the people
who are spiritual, but whether the church has turned them
off and they don't want to hear about God and
the Bible and Jesus and all of this, we cannot
(09:54):
walk away, stray away disregard right those people and how
they think and what they think about their own mind.
And so you know what I'm saying, that's likely even
it real you and I already know this, and so
is there a way that you help people to come
to the conclusion that we.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Need to think about what we think about And that's
very good the way that you put that, and I'm
going to add to your your wise statement from a
clinical standpoint. We also let people know it's okay not
to be okay. And I will add this, it's okay
to not be okay. But once you realize you're okay,
(10:37):
it's that you're not okay. It's not good to stay
not okay, meaning not getting the help that you need.
And so you know, it's it's important. It's important that
that we we utilize the tools that that we've been
given to to assess what conditions someone's mind is in
(10:59):
and and help them to get to a better point
in the growth process of their minds.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
M hm. So, now you and I were ministers of
the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. We believe in Jesus.
We know people who don't. I mean, I'm friends or
family members who are Muslim and whatever else they believe
in and all of that. You don't throw people out
because of their beliefs. How can you be liked if
(11:26):
you're just in the lightning, and you know you understand
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Understood, Yes, So.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I guess what I'm trying to ask you is what
are some techniques that you would offer to aid someone
and caring for their minds and managing their thoughts, Like
what would you say to someone? So I ask you
two ways, Okay, what would you say to someone who
professes to be a Christian? And what would you say
(11:52):
to someone who you know is not a Christian? And
managing their caring for their minds and managing their thoughts.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Absolutely. So, first of all, as a clinical therapist, that
we have on our intake forms an area that says
do you want spirituality included in your sessions? So people
have the ability to opt in or out of that.
It's totally up to them, and so the ones that
opt out of it, it's important that we assess and
(12:24):
address the issues that they're having mentally. So the main
technique that I use is called CBT or cognitive behavioral
theory or therapy. CBT is a clinical mental health modality
or theory used to affect the people's thoughts in terms
of how dysfunctions take place. So CBT says basically that
(12:45):
there are automatic thoughts that occur in certain situations. Those
thoughts create certain feelings that lead to dysfunctional behaviors. So
the therapist teaches the clients certain coping mechanisms to address
UH and work towards healing of those automatic thoughts.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
All right, now you're in my head, in my head,
in my head. All you're so. I heard you say
that our thoughts create certain emotions. Did I hear you
say that?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Yes, yes, ma'am, Yes they do.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Okay, So if I come to you and tell you
about all my problems. My husband's the problem, my children
are the problem, my boss is the problem. Everybody is
the problem. And they caused me anxiety because that's how
I think. It's everybody else but me, And so all
(13:42):
of those thoughts about this everybody else but me, creates
this feeling. Now I have these feelings about the pastor
the church, the job, the husband, and children. What do
you need to say to me?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
What I'm going to say to you is is help
you to consider that you are the the You are
the common denominator in every relationship that you have. And
so it reminds me. Let me say it again what
I would say to you is that you are the
(14:16):
common denominator in every relationship, personal, professional, spiritual that you have,
and so we have to go to the source to
identify or determine whether or not all these people are
the problem or if you, the person that's come into
therapy is actually a big part of the problem.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But I'm not the problem, understood, But but I'm not
the problem, doctor Houston. So how do you break through that?
Speaker 3 (14:51):
The way that I break through that is I ask
for clients to give me examples of things that are
going on in their lives, and then we start to
talk about their their thought process, We start to talk
about their feelings in certain situations. We get two facts
of things that are said, things that are done, and
(15:13):
then I'm able to give my clinical opinion and my my, my,
my focus on the things that are causing the issue
as opposed to what the client may think is causing
the issue. Kind of like with a medical doctor. You know,
sometimes we go into a medical doctor and we think
one thing is going on, but the doctor lets us no, no,
this is actually what's going on. This is what you
(15:35):
what you need to do with the medicine. You need
to take the exercise you need to get this is
what you need to do.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
So those are the techniques, the mental exercises, the asking them,
the questions to get to the facts. Those are your techniques.
So when say I leave your office and I'm still
blaming everybody else, what technique could I go back to
help me come to a place of reality. I'm the
common denominator. So first out of the bucket you give.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Me, So first and foremost you have to understand. And
as a therapist, I help clients understand if there's any
healing that's going to take place, it's not because I'm
giving you tools, it's because you're utilizing the tools and
doing homework that I give to you.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Well, don't go, don't drive by that. It's not because
you've given me tools. It's because I'm using the tools.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Absolutely absolutely, So there is an an accountability on the
client to to to get the the the the healing
that they need and to come to the proper conclusions
and address negative irrational thoughts to get to a place
(16:55):
of a better mental health posture. It's it's kind of
like an analogy in the physical realm, is people who
want to lose weight but they want somebody else to
work out and go to the gym for them. That's
not going to help the person who wants to lose
weight and get in shape. You have to do the work.
(17:16):
You have to lift the weights, you have to get
on the track and walk. You have to take those
bands and stretch.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Okay, so y'all, I'm gonna help y'all. I'm gonna help
doctor Houston.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Help us, help me to help you.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Because I'm getting some help. Heer to y'all don't even
know this is therapeutic. So I had some health challenges
this year where part of it was physical therapy, and
they gave me some bands, right, some light bands, some
medium bands, some strong bands. And then I realized that
those bands were sitting in the bag for a while.
(17:58):
So when I went back to get the physical therapy,
they said, well, have you been using the band? So
I had the tools, but I wasn't using them. And
so when I went back for a check up, I
hadn't gotten any better. And I said, girl, pull the
bands out the band and use the band. So this
is good dog, and I love this.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So so in your professional opinion, do you believe? And
I think you're going to say yes, and I think
you already answer it. Is there such a thing as
faulty thinking? And is that what you meant when you
said I'm the common denominator?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yes. Usually from a clinical standpoint in CBT, faulty thinking
can be called cognitive distortions. Uh, and there are a
number of them. They're irrational or or personally biased thought
patterns that caused things like depression and anxiety.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, so you cognitive distort So does anybody remember when
we would go to the circus or when we would
go to whatever the fair was, and we'd get in
front of these mirrors. Well, we know we looked like
when we stood in front of them, but then they
distorted your body and your head and you would be crooked,
or you would be fatter, it would be skinny, and
(19:19):
there was a distortion. And I thought, what I looked
like when I stood in front of that mirror. But
that mirror is showing me a distorted view or reflection
if you will, of what I'm really not. But because
I see this reflection, it kind of freaked me out right.
(19:40):
So can you parallel those those thoughts like a mirror
that shows a distorted me versus what I know I
really look like in my mind.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Yes, first I can get. Let me give you some
of the potential cognitive dis distortions that we deal with.
There's a term called over generalization to where we we
we just we we kind of make things so simple
or so difficult, and and it takes it to the
(20:15):
point where things are not accurate, and so we we
embellish a lot. A lot of times over generalization comes
in embellishments. We also do something another cognitive distortion is
called catastrophizing. I call that the heaven is falling, that
everything everything is bad, everything is wrong, everybody's gonna die,
(20:38):
everything is.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
And little effect, the chicken.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Little effect, that's what I was trying to think about. Chicken,
the sky is falling. Then we have all or nothing thinking.
That's another cognitive distortion, where it's either your way or
the highway. You know, it's it's it's it's all in,
and and that that is not really where life normally lands. Again,
(21:07):
it's the last one was all or nothing thinking, all
or nothing thinking, and and that really does not work,
particularly in relationships, including a marriage, that that very rarely
is there all or nothing thinking that helps you build
your marriage. And so the only thing that's all or
(21:30):
nothing is the Word of God. But how we live
our lives based on the principles that that's more of
a gray area. And even Jesus Christ, I'm not preaching today,
but Jesus Christ live the principles of the Word in
the gray area.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, you have to come back. So let's talk about
this over generalization. There was a podcast that we did
a while back, I can Ordery will remember, and it
was called you only always never?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you only do this?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So you always do this? Are you never do that? Right?
And so is that like over generalization? Is that a
good example?
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah? Yeah, that that that could be over generalization or
all or nothing thinking. So when I have clients who
have that mindset, and I what I do is I
encourage and and and how can I say sensitively question
that kind of thinking. So if a person says, well,
(22:39):
my wife don't ever cook my my my my husband,
don't ever hug me or or or or or he
or she never says I love you, And I said, okay,
let's let's stop and let's talk about that. Let's park
different there. You've been married how long or y'all been dating?
How long? And and and they tell me, And then
I say, okay, in X amount of years, you're telling
(23:00):
me that your significant other has never brought you a
glass of water, never, never brought you flowers, never helped
you get well, but brought medicine to you, never, never
gave you money, never, They've never done anything for you.
And what it does is it focuses in on I
(23:21):
don't want to say how ludicrous the statement is, but
it makes them think, well, no, that's not exactly correct.
So now when you clinically call them on it, it
makes them think and come out of the cognitive distortion
and do more with a reality that that's actually there.
(23:41):
So we may be able to say, okay, he or
she doesn't often do this, is that more accurate? And
more often than not, I can get the client to say, well, yeah,
that's correct. So we pull them away from the over
generalization and the all or nothing thinking.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Yeah, you pull us out of that faulty thinking it's falsey,
thinking I hope somebody's hearing, and I pray that you
that you're getting something out of this today. This Now
I understand why we had so many problems. Technologically, I'm
getting it. I'm getting it because this is good to
me and for me. I don't know about job, but
I'm getting something right. So what would you say that
(24:23):
there's a direct Well no, no, no, no, because you're established that.
So what are some ways that you help people to
see how to get back on the right track. So
so maybe i've kind of I don't like what you
said because you're making me look at myself and you're
making me hear how ridiculous I sound when I say
(24:47):
those things or think those things. How would you help
me get on the right track and the better way
of thinking?
Speaker 3 (24:55):
So again, I have to, you know, to repeat what
you just said. I have to get the client to
see it for themselves, to see that their initial statements
or beliefs or this is a better word, their perception
of themselves or the situation is not entirely accurate. Once
I can get them to admit to that, because I
(25:19):
can't tell them that just the same way no one
else could. But once I get them to realize and
in and of themselves say yeah, okay, I see you
know that something is a little off, then I can
start to give them coping mechanisms as what we call
it in terms of how to deal with whatever situation
(25:40):
it is that they're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
And this is great. And so as this is Veterans
Day and we honor our veterans today, we want to
recognize and we dedicate this episode to you veterans. Thank you,
thank you, thank you, who have gone through so much
mental trauma because of being in warfare and around warfare
and death and destruction and so forth. And so they
(26:04):
sometimes would get to go to therapy to try to
get their thoughts regulated and to help them to be
able to calm down. And so this leads actually good
segue to my next question, and in that, what are
some practical tips that you would provide for someone who
pass easily or has anxiety attacks. Now I'm not saying
(26:27):
every war veteran or every veteran panics easily and always
has anxiety attacks, but certainly I know my husband actually
served in the last two campaigns. Some people have been
in military, but some people have actually served when there
was war, and for instance, my husband was in the
Operation Iraqi Freedom of Campaign and then the Desert Storm, right,
(26:52):
and so we know that people came out not always Okay,
how do we deal with anxiety and attacks?
Speaker 3 (27:01):
So just immediately a few of the coping mechanisms that
often help people who have anxiety panic attacks are going
through some sort of post traumatic stress disorder is, first
of all, breathing breathing techniques. There are several different breathing
techniques out there in terms of allowing yourself to to
(27:24):
to calm yourself because usually when we're panicked, our breathing
rate is extremely fast, which means that that the oxygen
is not going through our body the way that it
needs to be. And the quicker we can get a
get a hold of that through a breathing technique, the
more it helps. That's why when someone is in an accident,
(27:47):
for example, or they're going through shock, the first thing
that that ems worker a person has to do is
get them to calm down. And the words calm down
don't always help. And so say that again again, yeah, yeah,
to get a person to calm down. Rarely does telling
them to calm down help them. That that doesn't help anything,
(28:09):
And so you have to give them and and something
that they can do when you say, follow me, just
breathe in, you know, just as an example, and they can.
They can watch you and and then breathe in and
then breathe out that and also letting them know because
their mind is saying, oh, I'm oh, I'm wounded beyond repair.
Oh I'm gonna die. Oh this is gonna happen, And
(28:30):
you have to let them know you're fine, you're good. Breathe.
I need to look at me. Don't don't, don't, don't,
don't look at the wound, don't look don't look at them,
look look at me.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
You're so fine. Breathe, You're okay.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yes, yes, yes, yes. And then you can you can
literally lead them by example in in the breathing and
and I mean that that is so powerful. It sounds simple,
but it's it is amazingly powerful for your mental health
and your body regulation. So that that's one technique. Another
(29:05):
technique that is extremely effective in dealing with emotions is
what we call journaling, writing down. And we're in a
technology ad, so I tell people, well, if you don't
do much writing that you do have a cell phone,
you do have an eye, PA have a laptop. So
what I need you to do if you don't want
to write, you don't have a pen and paper I
need you to type your feelings, type them somewhere that
(29:26):
you can keep them safe, lock a way where nobody
else can see them, and and and and and and
and get that out. Because the paper becomes the ear
of a therapist. If I can't be there, if you're
at there, yeah, yeah, I'll say it again. The paper
or the laptop or the device becomes a digital therapist
(29:50):
or or or or or or it becomes a place
to to put those emotions and and and to analyze
your own thoughts and so breathing, journaling. I mean, there's
other things that we do. Mindfulness is another modality where
you sit and uh and and focus on yourself, focus
(30:14):
on your your your body, what where where your feelings,
and say there's numbers of things, sensations. Do you have
stress in a particular area. Stress comes to different areas
for different people. Stress comes in the shoulders for some folks,
stress comes in the head. My wife, as an example,
stress always has come for her up up in her
(30:36):
lower lower head and top of her back. So I
would I would sometimes massage the lower part of her,
her head, her brain back here, and and after a
while she she it would feel so good. She'd fall asleep.
Well yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel stressed different places,
maybe in your in your in your in your legs,
(30:57):
wherever that is. You focus on that and and and
start to self sue massage.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So this is keeping it real. So for somebody thinking
right now, but that ain't Christian, that's yoga self soothing
and all that. No no, no no no no, yeah,
I'm because this is really keeping it real. You know
that's real. These are techniques. These are techniques. These are techniques,
(31:29):
and that's why God has given us people in all fields,
right you in all fields, and and so that we
can be a blessing to people and bring healing to people,
whether it's mental, physical, spiritual, psychological, physiological, biology. I'll get
all the ologies in there now and so and so
(31:52):
I thank you, thank you, thank you. That is absolutely
huge and healing.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
And so can I say something to you about that
that meditation that the word meditation really is a scriptural word.
See let me say it this way. And I learned
this not in clinical but I learned this from my pastor,
my bishop, who's your bishop. The only type of meditation
(32:21):
that you avoid is what's called transcendental meditation. Is not
of God. It is a form of meditation where you
blank out your mind. Nowhere in scripture does God call
you to blank out your mind. That right right, You
use your mind, you refocus your mind, you rep Yeah,
(32:45):
we're supposed to meditate on something, primarily the scriptures in
the Bible. With with with meditation in clinical therapy, there's
always you focus. You focus your mind on a on
a place you love to go. As an example, if
(33:05):
the beach is the place where you where you can
be calm, at a pool side in the mountains, wherever
you focus on that that good place, that that that
safe space so that you can calm yourself, and and
and never never blank your mind. But meditation is something
God created, not not the enemy, and not people.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
So I taught the children. I have a It's called
Mary's Babies Bible Study. We meet every other Sunday from
one pm to one eleven year olds to fifteen year olds.
Y'all just reach out to me at infot Linditchin dot
com and I'll share it with you.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
But I was teaching them.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
We talked about we went through Psal one about meditating
on the word day and night, and they were amazed
to find that a cow has four stomachs and how
they chew the cud. That's what meditation is. It's bringing
the food back up, chewing it all over again. That's
why people use the term let me chew on it, right,
that's meant let me think about it. That's what meditation.
(34:08):
That's the meditation doctor Houston is referring to. But we're
gonna move on because here we can go there, right, Yes,
he can go there. And so I had so many
other questions, but you really helped us with these panic
and anxiety attack techniques to help us, you know, to
think about it. He said, Calm down, breathe, You're gonna
(34:29):
be okay. Remember these things. Go back to this podcast
if you need to to remember some techniques and things
that we may have said that will help you in
your marriage, with your family and your mind, because this
episode is about mastering your mind. Mastering your mind helps
you in your emotions. And so we got to bring
(34:50):
Audrey back, right, because Audrey always has some takeaways and
doctor Houston, I love her takeaways. But before we bring
Audrey back, I just want to ask you one more
thing is how can people get in touch with you
if they want to get in touch with you, whether
it's familial counseling, marital counseling, or general counsel how can
(35:10):
they get in touch with you, sir, okay.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Really quickly. So a number to reach me at is
six seven eight sixty six one five eight six ones. Again,
I'll say six seven eight sixty six one five eight
six one. My email address, I'll say it then spell
it is Charles Houston dot d h at gmail dot com.
That's spelled c h A r l E s h
(35:37):
o U s t o N dot ds and dog
season kat h as in Harry at gmail dot com.
And that that's from a clinical standpoint. If you want
to get in contact with me for pastoral counseling, you
can call our church, Word of Fay Family Worship Cathedral
again pastored by Bishop Dale Browner. And that church number
(35:58):
is seven seven zero A seven four eighty four.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Hundred, Amen, beautiful, give me a virtual high five ah man,
I'm going and bring it to us. Your takeaways, my sister,
we can't hear you.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Mike turned off. That was powerful. Can you give me
that church number one more time? Because you say it
a little fast.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
Seven zero seven seven zero eight seven four eight four
zero zero or eighty four hundred. That's word of Face's main.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Number eight seven zero eight seven.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
A seven four war M four excellent.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
Eighty four hundred. Mm hmm, all right, cool, Well I
can I can tell you I had So I've been
over there having a couple of piphanies, had a couple
of laughing moments, had a couple of thoughts. First of all,
I can't a quiet my mind down for anything, so
let me just start righting there. Yeah, I have been.
(37:11):
I have been doing mine work since nineteen ninety eight.
That's when I started, and so I know it's very powerful.
Then I took it very seriously in two thousand and
eight where I started to read more and learn more.
Here's the question I had right because you said something.
You said, people are there's a stigma in our community,
in the black community about mental health, and I was like,
(37:33):
is it a stigma or is it an ego thing?
I don't need that. I can figure it out that
kind because I hit that a lot, and stuff is
still broken because you tried to figure it out and
nothing has been figured out. So I just want to
know what's your thoughts on that.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
It could be a stigma, it could be an ego
or pride thing, it could be a fear. A lot
of the people in our communities have been miseducated about
what psychotherapy is about. And and and just to be
honest with you, were keeping it real, the initial construction
(38:10):
of psychotherapy really did not include what we call racial consideration.
I'll say it that way. So there are things that
people of color may need because of you know, the
lives that we lead and things we deal with that
people who are of the majority don't face. And so
(38:34):
there's there's things that are There's been negative things that
have happened in our society in the past that has
caused a fear to come up about what what therapy
is about. Sometimes it's a you know, for clinical therapy,
people can't afford it, so that there's an economic connection
to to certain good therapy. And then I wanted to
(38:56):
say this too. I have a T shirt that I
love the slogan I'm a big quote person, and the
T shirt says it's okay to have Jesus and a therapist.
And we have to teach our friends and family that
you going to a therapist does not eliminate your faith
and your trust in God, the same way that if
(39:18):
you go to a physical doctor, which most of us do,
it does not negate the faith you have that God
is going to heal you or help you with your ailment,
your dysfunction.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Hm mm hmm. I am yeah. We all give me
one on that one. I I I was kind of laughing.
So I was laughing because and this is keeping it real,
doctor Linda Chin. So I just got to say this part.
So I'm saying, here, doctor Chin, right, And I said myself,
m m, how many arguments does his wife win? Because
(39:54):
he has logic for everything? And I'm saying it's so
point as I'm being really silly now, but that was
a thought that came to my mind because I feel like,
you know, when I when I think about my husband, right,
he won't even ask me questions because he feels like
I'm just gonna lose, so I just won't. I won't
even ask questions. In my mind, I'm thinking asks the
question because I don't have all the answers. So when
(40:16):
I'm listening to you talk, I'm wondering, like, you know,
how does how do you have? Because that's a mindset too.
That's a mindset you know when I think about people
that just happy wife, happy life. And I'm not gonna
say anything. That's a mindset that's not that's not gonna
make you happy because I don't know if I'm doing
the right thing, you know. So what do you say
(40:37):
to that person?
Speaker 3 (40:40):
First of all, when you say Audrey, Look, when you
say Audrey, how many? How many conversations do I win?
Or does my wife? When yeah that that the question
came to my mind is how many doesn't she win?
But anyway, man, So what I was going to say is,
(41:02):
you know, we have to get to the point where
and tell me again what the question was.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Specifically, I think I think when I think about when
I think about couples, right, and I think about my
husband and the way he thinks about things. His mindset
is happy wife, happy life. I'm not that person like
I need to know what's wrong, like tell me what's wrong.
But the mindset is I ain't saying nothing because happy wife,
(41:31):
happy life. And so what do you say to those
people who believe, like especially the men who believe that
whole theory of happy wife, happy life. So I won't
say anything right.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
So some of it has to do with the particular
person you're with, because there are, as you both know,
some some wives out there who feel that way. You
keep me happy. What you really can't do, that's a
whole nother that's a whole you can't keep you can't
keep being happy. But that's a whole other show. I'm
not gonna put a pin in that one right now,
(42:01):
But let me give you another another term. I've learned
that I believe in much more than just happy wife,
happy life. I heard this before and it says happy spouse,
happy house, the house if if we are, come on now,
don't start that. We ain't got no time, don't start.
(42:22):
It's it's important that we care about each other in
our marriage. Uh, the same way the man is not.
The husband's not more important that the wife shouldn't be
more important either, We're equally important. And the truth of
the matter, as Christians and know we talk my clinical
stuff today, but as Christians, God is the one who's
who's important really in our marriage covenant. We we we
(42:45):
we we just we just how do we say? Just
squirrels try to get a nut? God is God, and
the more that we do what he said, the more
we we come out the way he said we'd come out.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yeah. I also want to add the one note about
the anxiety I had back in doing between nineteen and
twenty two. You know, all the stuff that was going on.
You had the George Floyd thing, you had the pandemic.
I lost my mom in the pandemic. It wasn't a lot.
So after all of that, I was a mess. But
my friend was a tapping clinician, and she taught me
(43:20):
how to tap out anxiety because she suffered with anxiety.
So she taught me how to tap on the meridian
points and that helped me so much in journaling.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Those two things.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Were so so good for me. So I do them
to this very like right before the show. I journal.
Speaker 3 (43:36):
That's good. Yeah, yeah yeah. Can I be honest with
you since we're keeping it real. And when we first
came on here and things were not working, and I
had to First of all, I hadn't eaten anything, so
I had to go grab something to eat, put some
crackers in my stomach. And then when I came back
and I still you know, I didn't let you all
(43:57):
know in time. I didn't see the email with link.
And so I'm going, man, have I messed up the
show today? And so I had God had to call
me down, he said, relax. And then I started breathing, breathing, breathing,
breathing sit They that wighed upon the Lord anyway. So
(44:19):
I had to exercise the just just a not a
deep breathing, but just just calm myself because again again
I'm a therapist, unpastor, but my mind was about to
go somewhere unproductive and and and and and negative and
caused me to be unprepared with what God was already
(44:41):
working out.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
So so you had to master your mind. You had
to master your mind. And that's what this whole thing
is about. And I wanted to say one more thing
with the doctor Houston's point, if you can't write it
out and journal it out, you can put your phone
on and record it, record yourself. Do well, how whatever
you have to do. So we want to thank doctor
Houston so much for his contribution, for his wisdom. Thank Audrey,
(45:06):
I thank you guy for bringing us through all these
technological issues. But this was on purpose. No, you cannot
convince me that the issues we had were not on
purpose so that we could exercise the very thing that
we're here to talk about.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Won't he do it?
Speaker 2 (45:24):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Well, this was a great episode. I think people probably
got a lot out of it, especially where we are
right now, this day in time, because a lot of
people just really in their heads about everything, to the
point where I saw a young lady who took her
life and her children. She jumped off to the Niagara
Falls like she couldn't take it, you know. So there's
a lot of people who, even me, I had a
(45:45):
mental breakdown on Wednesday morning, like my husband, Oh boy,
he was in the shower. He was in the shower
at about three forty five. I never wake up. I
never wake up when he goes to work. I heard
him as clear as we're talking, say, oh boy. And
I woke completely up and sat on the side of
the bed and I was like, oh my God. And
then I was a mess. But but I had to
(46:07):
take control of my mind and pull it together, and
I did. And so there are a lot of this
messages timing. There are a lot of people who are
really struggling right now to master their mind and to
understand that it's all God. It's all God's will and
we have to we have to be okay with that.
And I had to be okay with that.
Speaker 3 (46:24):
So and what God did for me Wednesday is he
literally took me back to the scriptures. He told me,
don't don't, don't get off of social media, don't don't
do you don't need to cut TV on. He took
me to my Bible. God's on the truth. And I'm
a big quote person, so I quote all the time anyway,
but I for a day and a half, all I
(46:46):
could quote was scriptures. That's all that that that came
to me. And I realized he was centering me back
and keeping me from from daring to go to an
area of fear, because God is not giving us a
spirit of fear, but the power and love it it's
ourn mind. And so he had to remind the preacher
he's in control.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Bottom man, Amen, take us home, Mardrick.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
All right, listen. If you guys enjoyed this episode, be
sure to go to this website Doctor Lindonton dot com,
Linda Chairmanistries dot com, subscribe to the show. Share the
show with diffriend whether you listen to it on Spotify, YouTube, LinkedIn,
wherever you're listening to the show, Share this show because
it has a great message, and also be sure to
follow doctor doctor. I don't know why he wanted to
call you doctor Houston. Like God's spells. It just like
(47:34):
that he always make make a note that it's housing.
It looks like it's Houston. Now now I'm stuck saying Houston.
Connect with doctor Houston. He gave you some phone numbers.
Go back and listen to the episode. Get the phone numbers,
write them down, give him a holler. Listen. It sounds
like he can help you if you need the help
and soaking doctor ten, so be sure to connect with them.
That's what we're here for. If you want to support
this show. Golden Linda Chairministries dot com. We have to,
(47:56):
more than ever, more than ever, keep this message going.
We have to more than ever keep this positivity going
more than ever. It's gonna take all of us, not
three of us, all of us, all of us. It's
gonna take all of us. So we thank you for listening.
Doctor Jenny Back in two weeks, same place, same time.
It's nice to meet you. Thank you for such great show. Listen, guys,
(48:20):
you guys, take care o the on until next time.
The next time, make it a great day. Everybody peace.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Thank you so much, Thank you doctor Say
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