October 13, 2025 • 46 mins
Dr. Linda P. Chinn is a native of New London, CT who currently resides in Douglasville, GA. She fulfills her mission of uprooting and pulling down false belief systems in the lives of God's people to build them up by planting in them the incorruptible seed of the living Word through her various ministries. Dr. Chinn is an accomplished entrepreneur and the creator of Linda Chinn Ministries as well as the founder of Christian Women in Training Network.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, Good afternoon. Welcome to an episode
another episode of Keeping It Real with doctor Linda Chennaim
Audibel Kearny, the producer of the show, who had a
powerful show for you today.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
It's called the Power of Mental Images.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Let me tell you some the things that you hold
in your mind will determine everything. And I know this
is going to be a powerful show. Doctor Tennis here,
she has a wonderful guest coming on with her today.
Her name is Doctortershia. I hope I'm saying that right,
Doctor Toshia Stanley. She was most recently the provost and
Vice president for Academic Affairs for Wagner College, where she
led the Academic Mission Envision. She previously served as the
(00:55):
dean of School of Humanities, Arts and Science at Saint
Catherine's University in Saint Paul, Minnesota, where she focused on
developing programs and courses that engage the liberal arts and
learning process and brave social justice across the curriculum.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
She's gonna be here today.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
They're gonna be talking about They're gonna be talking about,
you know, the positive mental images that we hold in
our head and untrust me, they are powerful, and they
do actually cause us to do the things we do
and become the person of people we want to become.
So I'm gonna bring them to the stage. I'm gonna
dip out after that, and then I'll be back at the.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
End of the show. So welcome to the stage, everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yay, yay, yay.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Thank you, Audrey, and welcome to the wonderful doctor Tasha Stanley. Yes, wonderful,
wonderful woman of God, whom I've known for decades and
loved dearly, dearly, wise, and really humorous when you get
to know it. She's humorous, super intelligent, and just a
wonderful overall human being. Welcome to the keeping it real
(01:56):
with doctor Chen. Hallelujah, Doctor Tasha. Still, how you doing,
I'm good? How are you good?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Good? Good?
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Thank you, and thank you so much for just saying yes.
It means the world to me, honestly. So just you know,
so we're not be laboring or you know, just staying
late with time because we had a little technical difficulty.
But I want you to tell us a little bit
about yourself and your interest in your level of work
and the power of images.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Sure, so you know I'm a college professor, and I'm
in English. Literature was the thing I studied for years
and years. But when I was in graduate school and
I had just finished my masters, I was starting on
my PhD work. And I've always been a film lover.
I've always loved, you know, just film and television. And
I was that kid that, you know, whenever I was
(02:46):
watching television, I couldn't hear anything else, and so I
get in trouble all the time, because, you know, I
go deaf because of whatever I was watching. But when
I was in graduate school, I watched a film and
it was called Daughters of the Dust, and I had
never seen a film where there were images of women
of color and such variety. And I remember sitting in
a theater watching this film, and I thought, I've never
(03:08):
had this experience before. And I remember thinking, images are
so incredibly powerful that I think I want to study them.
And so I switched what I was doing from literature
to really begin to engage images and media studies. And
so that became the focus of the work that I
was doing. And so I finished out my PhD work
and really looking at media and images and how powerful
(03:31):
they were, and particularly what images we were seeing of
people of color at that particular time, So looking at
you know, how we were represented in the media. It
was a lot of video media at the time, a
lot of music, imagery, and social media had just begun
to get started. So I was really taking a look
at that and understanding how it had begun to affect
(03:52):
us and how particularly how it was affecting children who
were looking at those images as they were growing up.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Wow. Okay, so what makes images so powerful?
Speaker 5 (04:04):
Well, you know, the images that we are seeing everything
that we do and image feeds our imagination, and imaginations
really create our reality. So those things that we see,
they affect how we think about ourselves and how we
think about our world and then how we build our worlds.
So everything that we do, everything that becomes when you
(04:27):
think about inventions, when you think about you know, any
building that gets built, it has to first happen in
the imagination. So it's really really important the things that
we think about, the things that we imagine, and those
things get really solidified by the things that we see,
those images that we first create in our minds, we
bring those things, We very much can bring those things
(04:47):
into reality. So those things that we're influenced by are
the things that we really are seeing on a daily basis.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Wow, So really you just defined imagination, right, that power
of forming mental images and what is actually not present, right,
the same power creating mental images of what's never ever
been actually experienced. That's really what you're doing is defining imagination,
(05:14):
creating images by combining previous experiences.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You know, I mean, I just love it.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
So then why you talked about children and what happens
even from a childhood stage. Why is it important to
limit our exposure to violent and hyper sexual imagery? And
then why is it especially important in the case of
young children. So the first question is why is it
important to limited exposure.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Because those things become normalized for us, So the things
that we see most often, the things that we see
that are repeated for us over and over and over again,
become normal. So, you know, when we think about our exposure,
particularly to violent hyper sexual images, we're the first general
to experience those things on a daily basis and the
(06:03):
number of times that we see them on a daily basis,
so they have an effect on the way that we
live out our lives. And so seeing those things that
you know, like I remember one Saturday, I was cleaning
up and I love, like, you know, like all of
those CSI marathons or whatever. And I remember I started
out the morning and by the evening I thought to myself,
how many dead bodies did I see today? I remember
(06:26):
asking myself that question and thinking, Wow, what did I
just spend a whole ten hours doing? And what effect has.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
That had on me?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Because I just watched this all day long. I just
got caught up, and I thought, what then, what effect
does that have on a little person who can't distinguish
reality from fantasy? And so those things becoming normalized for us,
and we begin to then create a way of thinking
and a way of relating to other people that can
(06:57):
become really dangerous because those things no longer are you know,
so we're not moved by dead bodies anymore. Those things
don't become for us, you know, I think that is abnormal.
They become normal for us, and we can see the
effects of that in our society. We don't think that,
you know, the way which we're supposed to have sympathy
(07:19):
and empathy for other people is no longer in effect
because those things to us aren't fantastic anymore. They aren't abnormal,
they become normalized.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Wow, and good afternoon, miss Felicia Jacobs, thank you for
joining us today. So the fact that they become normalized,
really that that's.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Kind of it's it's sad.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
And it's scary in that how many of us have
permitted the television to babysit our children, right, you know,
sometimes that's the best people could do. We're not judging
anybody here, We're simply having a discussion. And also, so
we started this out, we're really focusing on the mind.
This is the third series on the mind. We talked
(08:02):
about mind, the master power, master your mind. Now we're
talking about mental images and how it impacts us. And
she talked about the hypersensitivity, right of these sexual images
and violent images that we show. Now I remember, believe
it or not, and I won't mention the name of
the Burger fast food place, and their commercials showed women
(08:28):
with like you remember the Daisy Duke shorts, really short
shorts in the backseat of a car making out with
a guy. And I thought, what does this have to
do with Hamburgers? Like, what does this have to do?
And so I actually call the company express my opinion,
and you know, they thank me for calling them.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Up and so forth and so on.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
I haven't bought a burger from them since because it
offended me. Right, And so, you know, when you think
about on what we see today, and you're saying today,
we see it not only every day, but multiple times
a day. We see it on billboards, we see it
in commercials. When we think about it, I.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Remember when they never used to use the word or
the term period right on commercials and showing women with
you know, you understand what I'm saying, hygienic hygiene products
and so forth, and so it is concerning and that,
and what you're saying that is that we really really
really need to pay attention not only to what they're
(09:25):
watching as a program, but to television of the commercials
that come in between.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Absolutely, and what we're seeing now is because we have
access to so many different kinds of images, so many channels,
you know, so much media content, people have to figure
out a way to cut through that and get your attention.
So things that were not we didn't have access to
before that were considered you know, too much to to
to put on regular television or that you know, those
(09:55):
laws have gotten really laxed now because advertisers have uh
you know, have you know, have lobbied so that they
can put more things, you know, give the public access
to more things. And it's to cut through the noise
because it's so incredibly difficult to get to people to
recognize your product or to hear what you're saying, because
there's just so much access to so many different kinds
(10:19):
of images out there, So people will be doing more
and more sensational things in order to get your attention.
So the reason that the burger was paired with people,
you know, sexualized content is to get your attention because
there's so much there's so much competition for it, and
so there's just this bombardment and the more you are bombarded,
the more difficult it is to get your attention. So
(10:41):
the more advertisers are going to be to do extraordinary things,
are going to go to extraordinary lens then to create
content that will cut through the noise to get your attention.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
And so, as I heard someone say, he said, they
do it and they get away with it because sex
sells sex cells.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
So how can we be.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Vigilant regarding the constant exposure to these images you know,
to media and social images. How can we be more
vigilant with our children? In particular, I think that I.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Think you have to understand that, yes, you have to
limit the content for children, but you also have to
do it for yourselves. So it has me particularly, I
think a family affair, you have to really think about
how much how you want to limit your entire family,
and everybody has to work toward that. There are lots
of studies that are out the American Psychological Association, there
(11:36):
are so many think tanks that do studies on how
much content children are getting every week, and you really
have to think about how many hours you want to
expose your children to whatever the content is, whether it's
worth you think is good content or whether you think
is harmful, think about how many hours that is, and
then think about how you want to limit that, and
then how you want to fill that gap, right, because
(11:58):
you've got to fill and so think about how as
a family, how you know, whether you're a single parent
or you have other folks who are helping you take
care of your kids. How's a village do you want
to limit their contact? And what do you want to
replace it with? Because there has to be something I
myself was a single parent who was doing this work
and was raising my daughter at the same time, and
(12:18):
had to make decisions about what will you fill her
time with while you're studying these images, what will you do?
And so having to figure out what images did I
want her to be exposed to, and how would I
have them to be delivered to her, and who was
going to help me with that, because you can't escape everything,
but also having conversations with your family, with your children
(12:40):
about images and about the intent of the image. What
is it that the image wants you to do. There
are other countries that don't allow advertisers to advertise to
children under certain ages, So you will not see toy commercials,
you will not see commercials during children's prime time, you know, programs,
you won't see those commercials that are aimed at kids
(13:01):
under certain ages because they've recognized how susceptible they are
to certain kinds of images. And so it's about making
decisions with the children as well, you know, as they
become age appropriate, and helping them understand that advertisers want
certain things from them, So give them tools as well
to help them because you're not going to be with
(13:23):
them all the time.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So give them some tools to.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Understand what it is that folks who are showing these
images what they want from them as well.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
So I have a niece and her she's got a son.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
She has a couple of children, but she's got a
son who's five going on six now.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
But I kept them while they were away for a.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Little more than a week, so I had good time
and exposure with them. And whenever he had now he
had access to the remote control. But of course they
had controls on their programs and so forth and so on,
and he got to something that may have not had control,
he would run to me and say, Aunt Linda, is disappropriate.
(14:07):
So I knew they had the conversations with them. I
love that they had the conversations. And even when some
of the so called innocent cartoons, which can be very
violent and go right bias because we you know, we
think it's a cartoon for crying out loud, how violent
can it be, he would still ask me, is it appropriate?
Then not only the images, but the songs, write some
(14:29):
of the songs they sing, and then they have these
the animations and they're moving these body parts and so forth,
And I thought, what in the world does this have
to do with counting and and and the alphabet and
so forth, and so I just you know, it's scary.
It's it's really scary. So I want am glad that
you've done the work. And so then my next question
(14:51):
is our images. So do you think that this is
part of the reason why men and women are so
there's a huge addiction to pornography men and women. Do
you think that this has played a role because back
in the day it was magazines right hidden under the mattress,
and I remember certain men would allow their sons to
(15:14):
have the magazines and would seem innocent. So do you
think that's played a part in it?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It definitely has.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
It's really shaped the way, particularly young people relate to
one another in terms of the ways in which they
think about the way they relate in terms of sexuality.
It's been a while, but I did an end depth
study probably around twenty sixteen seventeen, when I was teaching
a course on images on pornography, because I really wanted
to understand and at the time it was people were
(15:45):
still mostly downloading pornography from computers, and they were moving
to cell phones and such easy access. But it's much
easier access on your phone now. But at the time
when I was doing a study and bringing it to
my class, one of the things I said to them
was that we're not going to look in images because
you don't need to do that, right, So we're just
gonna talk about it. And here's what I found and
(16:07):
and and again this is old now because I haven't
done it recently. That relationships had had definitely been affected,
uh and and and particularly young men, the ways in
which they were being introduced to sex for the first
time mostly had been through media. And and gone were
the days of the magazine because it was a still image,
(16:28):
so their imaginations could still do some work, but with
the visual images that were being downloaded on computers and
on phones, actually there was no imagination.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Now.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
All of it had been done for them, you know,
in someone's studio, and the kinds of stories and images
that they were getting were actually very violent. So now
there was no you know, like where sex was the
actual end of a story. Sex was the only act,
and it was aggressive sexual act after sexual act after
(17:01):
sexual act, where the woman always had no was always
saying yes, it didn't matter how violent it was and
that there was no kind of relationship built into it.
So what we were seeing was that in the pornography
(17:21):
is that it was so much more violent and so
much more aggressive, and that there was no kind of
reciprocity at all. And so it was really there were
studies that were linking the kinds of aggression that was
happening in relationships to this being the kind of first
understanding of sexuality, particularly that young men were getting about
(17:43):
this is what it is like real.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Real relationships based on what they were seeing.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Right, So for them, sex was about she always says yes,
and she always does exactly what I want, and that
there isn't any kind of reciprocity, and so it was
even worse than you know, like you know, a magazine
would have been preferable because there was still some imagination,
there was still some act, and even earlier porn films,
(18:10):
there was actually a story involved where you had to
have at least a conversation or some kind of relationship building.
But all of that was gone. It was nothing but
an act after and act after an act after an act,
and so there became no sense of any kind of
relationship building that had to go on at all. It
was simply that your job is to say yes to me.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So I remember.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Talking to a friend of mine and explained that the
more a person watches and engages in pornography, it's like
the grooves in a record. Remember back in the day
when we used to play write forty fives and albums
and we play them over and over and over till
it would create a groove.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
And that's what she explained.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
And so there needs to be a therapeutic deliverance, if
you will, in order to deal with that whole addiction.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
So it's not just you know, like cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
And you know, I prayed my way out of the
addiction to nicotine.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
That's the God's honest truth.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
And the next thing I know, my husband said to me,
you realize you hadn't had a cigarette in thirty days.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
But so, so, what.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Are the kind of ways and what can people do
in order to relieve themselves and be healed from it
so that relationships can be healthy.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I think you have to want to.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
First of all, you have to recognize that there are
other ways of relating to one another sexually. Particularly this
has been your first exposure to sexuality. It's not the
only way to relate to a partner, right, and so
recognizing that there are other ways to relate to a partner.
This isn't the only way, and that if this is
how you grew up and if you were exposed in
elementary or middle school and this is all you saw,
(19:52):
and if this was reinforced to you and your friend
groups or whatever, that this is the way that you relate.
This is not the only way, and you have to
recognize if it particularly if you if you feel like
this isn't the way you want to relate and you've
had difficulty, there is another way. And so recognizing that
first of all, seeking help. There's lots of help out
(20:13):
there for that. There's help in terms of spiritual help,
does help, in terms of of you know, therapy, there
are all kinds of ways to get help, and recognizing
that it's just not it's not just a male thing.
There's it's also lots of people who have been exposed
to sexuality in this way and who think that you
know that this is the way, which this is the
way I can relate sexually, that there are other ways,
(20:34):
and so I think recognizing it and then recognizing that
the point the point industry is a business, and so
it wants to create people and wants to create a need.
It wants to create, you know, this idea that there's
something that you need from them that you've got to
pay for.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
And it's just like the.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Other business I got to create. I got to create
a need and then I need to satisfy that need.
And I have this product and you need to buy it.
So recognizing that is a business and that you know,
there are folks who are trying to create a product
to sell to you, and so I think looking at
those things as well, and then finding you know, a
support group, finding people who can help you, and not
being ashamed, right, not being ashamed that this is something.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Right, right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I think it's really important.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
So then our images that play on the screens of
our minds only generated by what we see with our eyes.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
No, absolutely, because and I think remember that the images
that are going on in your head and in your
heart come from all of your senses. It can be
what you see, it can be what you hear, it
can be what you taste, it can be what you smell.
So that our mind is such a powerful place, and
the images that are created in our minds can come
from all of our senses, and recognizing that all of
(21:46):
those things play a role. It is what you see,
but what you see can come also with what you smell,
with what you taste, but what you hear. That all
of those things are working together to create those images.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
So then do you think it's true that the subconscious
mind can't really distinguish between a vivid imagination and what's reality.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
It can create a reality, I think, especially for young folks,
you know, so, particularly for children. It's very difficult for
kids to distinguish. That is why there's always that moniker,
don't try this at home. It's very difficult for kids
to distinguish what is reality and what is fantasy and so,
which is why we have to protect them from that
and be very careful to protect their worlds. Until they
(22:31):
can make those distinctions for themselves. They can't tell, which
is why kids think they're monster's under the bed. They
can't tell, and so recognizing that and protecting them is
really really important. Because they can't tell, so, and because
their imaginations are so powerful, I think protecting them from
(22:52):
those things, those extra things also gives them a space
to imagine the things that they should be imagining. Theyreaing
a sense of self. They should be creating spaces to
learn the things that they need to be learning in school.
You know, they should be creating positive images of themselves.
They should be creating, you know, these worlds in which
(23:13):
they want to live. They should be building very positive,
powerful images of themselves.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
And they don't.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
They won't be able to do that if they're inundated
with these other things.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
So then self images, you know, since images are so powerful,
then our imagination can change a person's self image, right, right,
So the things that we see and I think about this,
and you know, and and again this is no judgment,
this is nothing. We're simply having a conversation. And I'm
(23:46):
loving the information because out of the information you're saying,
I'm getting revelation.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Right. And so I think I've been.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Watching, speaking of watching show up the show kind of
like benjam I've been watching some of Hawaii five oh.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Nobody remember Hawaii five oh. And I was looking.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
At the things I see right now, like the short
cheerleader type skirts and the bellies out. I was seeing
that that's what they were wearing back then, right, the
eyelashes and so then we have the shapers, the body shapers.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And it seems to me that most people that I.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Know do not have a good self image because of
what we see somebody else looks like. We want to
be slim, you know, rather than doing the things we
need to do in our diet and exercise habit, we
will buy things. And you know, if we don't have
the type hair texture that we like, will buy hair.
(24:44):
No judgment, I'm just saying that we have a real
problem with self image and that's disturbing to me.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I think it's because we only see one kind, right.
We see a very specific type of image that is
touted over and over and over and over again, and
the messages you need to come as close to this
image as possible in order to be seen as desirable
or beautiful or whatever. And so it's it's it's that
it's the one type of image that we see over
(25:15):
and over and over again and again. It's a business,
and so it's about creating a desire and a need
and a deficit, and so that you have to spend
money in order to feel that deficit, and nobody gets
to create. We always think that there's somebody who's got it,
who's living up to the image? Nobody gets to live
(25:36):
up to the image, right. Tell my students all the
time that it doesn't matter who you are. Even if
you get it for a moment, you can't hold onto
it because you're going to age, right, because you can
never ever be the age that you know, like you
can't be twenty five forever, and so you can spend
your life trying to get to twenty five, and then
you spend the rest of your life trying to stay
twenty five, right, and so so that's a you know,
(25:58):
it's a quote from us see Lewis book, right, And
so nobody gets to hold onto it. So there's always
a deficit. There's always a place you're trying to get.
It doesn't matter who you are, and so there's this
constant place in which you're having to spend money and
which you're always experiencing this loss of self in order
(26:19):
to make someone else rich. And so there has to
come a point, or the hopefully they should, they should
come a point in which you decide who it is
you are and who you want to be, and that
you get your sense of self esteem from some place
other than you know, an image off of you know,
Instagram or you know, wherever you have to, because they
(26:42):
will never let you be.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
Satisfied because again it's tied to their pocketbook, it's tied
to their bottom line. Yesterday I had the opportunity to
minister at a local church and we went through Psalm
one thirty nine, where you know David talks about you
search me and you've known me, and at the end
he talks about search my heart and know me, try
(27:05):
me know my thoughts that they'd be any wicked way.
In the middle of that is verse I think it's
fourteen and fifteen where the Psummis says, I.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Am fearfully and wonderfully.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Made, marvelous in my sight, and thy sight are thy
works and my he says, and my mind, my soul.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Knows it very well.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
And I think, yes, we're fearfully and wonderfully made. And
as I did deep dive into the research of those words,
it means that you're deserving of respect. Fearfully made means
you're deserving of respect. Right like the fear of God.
It doesn't mean torment. Fear it means respect. It means
to be in awe and for some reason, as many times,
(27:50):
as I know people quote that scripture, we have no
idea that we were made to be respected, and that
starts with self respect. And then he goes on to
say and that my soul knows right well, we don't
know that we've been created right to be respected.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
We don't know.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
And I think that's kind of what I love about
my calling as a teacher, right and ministering the gospel,
the good News.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But as a.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Teacher, I love the study, as you love to study
what you're called to do.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
But my heart goes out.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
To people who have no idea that they were created
by God to be respected and that we're marvelous.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
It's marvelous in his sight, and if you think.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
About it, we are the only thing that He put
his hands to create.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Everything else he created through words. You get what I'm
saying you, And so what can we do to get
people to know that you were created to be respected
and to know it in your mind, in your will,
and in your emotions that that's how God created you.
(29:01):
I think that you have to know.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
You have to be able to feel the love that
God has for you you.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
If you don't, you know, everything begins there.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
You have to feel the love that God has for.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
You, and a lot of times we don't feel that
even in our own personal spaces and our own homes.
Not everyone knows how to show the love of God.
Not everyone knows how to express the love of God,
which we know is unconditional, like God doesn't care. And
I have learned experientially that when a person least deserves
(29:42):
it right, it is when they need love the most,
when they least deserve it, when they've messed up, when
they've fallen down, when they've done something even in willful disobedience.
That's how God loves us. There's nothing we can do,
we know this, to make him love us anymore any less.
And so my hope is that someone is listening to
(30:02):
this and knowing that we have got to learn do
everything that we can to learn the love of God.
And for me, I learned it, I'll be honest. I
didn't learn it at home. I learned it through reading
the Scripture. That's how I learned the love of God.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Because when I.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Went from from the beginning, from Genesis to Revelation were
just in the Old Testament, I thought, how many times
have we messed up.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Been disobedient?
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Created idols, worship things other than God, worship people other
than God. And He keeps loving us, he keeps taking
us back, he keeps blessing us, he keeps giving us,
he keeps providing. You will see that not just through
every book, but even every chapter, almost in every book
of the Bible.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
And so I'm hoping we encourage somebody to read the
scriptures even today. This is even it real.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Yeah, I leave God out of keeping it real with
doctor I can't leave him out. While the topics are practical,
and thank God for your wisdom and your insight and
and given us some instruction. We still we cannot leave
out God. We cannot do it. And so I want
(31:18):
to bring Audrey back on to ask her because she
started out talking about how powerful images are.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
She's in media, that's her that's her work, right. She
is a podcaster, that's.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Her work, And so I want her to come back
on and tell us what she got out of this
conversation and some of the things that you relate to
us through your great wisdom inside and experience.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
This has been truly powerful.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I'm over here writing notes as I always do, because
if I'm not writing when doctor Chen is on by herself.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I'm writing when she has guests.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
One of the things I had a flashback, so I
amvent at the first plus sized fashion doll. And when
you think about a plus sized fashion dolls, they're twice
the size of Barbie, the same height, but Barbie maybe
a size two and the dolls in real world bill
sized fourteen. That was how we designed them.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I remember getting this email from a woman. This was
years ago, like twenty years ago. And at that time,
let me tell you how old it was.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I had AOL that was my email server, AOL. That's
how old it was. And she sent me an she
sent me a nasty Grammarch. What she sent me, she said,
the audacity.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Of black women. You know, I'm walking around wearing a
mumu and you have on like I.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Think I had on like black, some black pants or
something and like a Q shirt, right, But she couldn't
see herself wearing that.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Me.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
On the other hand, when I was in eighth grade,
when I moved to Jersey, I was in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I had two teachers.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
My math teacher she was plus sized, My science teacher,
My social studies teacher was plus size. My math teacher
told me. She said, you're a plus sized girl. She said,
you always got a look cute. That's when she said
to me. And I was in eighth grade and I
went home and I told my mom, and my mom
took me shopping, and I remember going back to school
on Monday with these black jeans on and a black
(33:08):
and white shirt. So that has been an image that
was burning in my head in eighth grade. And so
when you think about the mental images that people holding themselves,
I couldn't see myself walking around with a move move,
but that's all that woman could see herself walking around with.
That's all the mental image in her head soft for
her as a plus sized woman, was a move move.
And at first I'd be like, what the heck is
a move move? Because I didn't know what that was.
(33:30):
And he was like, oh, so it's one of the
big dresses. I was like, oh yeah, no, I would
not be wearing that. But that is so powerful and
for her it was the audacity. So that brought back
that memory for me when you said that.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
The other thought. The other thing I thought about was
how much you how much we see.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
These images on television. Anybody who knows about the advertising industry.
In order to put somebody to buy something, they have
to see at least seven times repeatedly. Well, we see
this on a daily basis, seven times in an hour,
forget a just repeatedly. So I can see why that
would be a something that's burned into somebody's memory forever,
(34:08):
Doctor Stanley, I did want to I did want to
touch on the subconscious mind about this thing, because what
you said was doctor.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
She asks a question, is just the things you see?
Speaker 1 (34:19):
And you say, no, it's the things you hear. It's
the smells, it's the taste that is so powerful people.
Some people don't even realize that they heard something that
created imaging in mind, or they smelled something that created
image in mind. Or my mom passed in twenty one
and twenty yeah, twenty one, and I can hear any
kind of song like she loves the eyes, she loves
(34:39):
the eyes of brothers, right, she loves anytime anything come
on around Oisley. I immediately go back to, like my
eight year old self, immediately just visually seeing her dancing
my aunt loves Strawberry Love to twenty two, one.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Of her favorite songs.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I immediately go back to my eight year old self
when I hear old songs and I could see my grandmother's.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
House, I just need to find porch I disolve that.
Can you can you? Can you talk to a little.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Bit about how do you change the subconscious images when
they're not good images?
Speaker 5 (35:12):
Well, I think that you have to you once you
recognize that, you have to then set an intention and
then when you set that intention, decide what it is
you want to replace it with, and then begin to
do that. So then every time that happens, you have
to have something you want to put in its place.
And the Bible teaches us that right, so you know,
(35:32):
when you cast out something, you got to put something
in its place, right, So then decide what you want
to be in its place, whether it's a different song
or a scripture or some and act something you want
to do. You have to put something in its place
that's going to erase whatever that is, whether it's you know,
whether you're going to go and get help from therapy
or you're going to where you're going to to you know,
(35:54):
seek out a counselor at church or for somebody to
help you. But there must be something you put in
its place. You can't just say I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna think about that. I'm not gonna You've
got to put something in this place. Be intentional about that.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, And I think that's so important. And the last
thing I want to touch on is the things that
our kids are saying. I have a five year old granddaughter,
and my daughter and I were talking the other day
about what do we get them for Christmas? Like before
it was like toys, Like she's five, she doesn't even
want toys. Like it's like what, I don't even know
what to get her because they see all of this
(36:29):
stuff that's grown up.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Related and that's what they want. They want makeup kids. Now.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
All of the girls want makeup kids. They've always wanted that,
but not these kids don't want anything but those type
of things.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
They want the iPads, they want.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Them to tap.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
They want all these things that are really grown up.
And I don't know how we change that moving forward,
Like I really don't. My daughter asked me last week,
she said, why do they want to get rid of TikTok?
I said, well, they feel like.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
TikTok is brainwashing us.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I said, in China, they don't see the same TikTok
that you see what people dance and doing all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
She said, what do you mean. I said, they're not
allowed to see that.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I said, China owns the media there and they tell
you what you can watch over here. We just got
free range everything, I said, So that's why they want
to control. They want to control TikTok for monetary reasons.
But China realizes we are making a lot of money
because we let you do what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
In China, they can't do that. She's like, I didn't
know that.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So that's kind of that's kind of cool in one
aspect because it kind of says, well, I don't want them.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
To see these things.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
But the flip side of that is, as we look
at it from here, it's taking away one of our liberties,
right our freedom of speech and all this things in China,
and they was like, you don't have that. You you
cannot do these things here. You can't watch that kind
of stuff. So they block their kids out from all
of that kind of so we don't and my granddaughter,
my daughter had to take the app off of the TV,
(37:53):
like the smart teams come with all of the apps.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
She had to go and remove.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
All of the YouTube apps off through TV in my
granddaughter's room because she knows how to turn the TV on.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
She knows how to turn.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
The fs on, so she took them all off. So
you know, I think that I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
How we change that though, like because everywhere.
Speaker 5 (38:11):
I would say, you know, I would say again, enlist
the village and be radical, right, yes, in the village.
Take the television out of the room, Explain why have
television in one room. Make sure there's a certain amount
of time for television, and make the child earn it.
Here's what you have to do in order to watch.
Here are the things you get to watch. And then
(38:34):
have someone watching with the child, and then say, let's
talk about what you just watched, and let's let's have
some questions about it. And then I would say, also,
you know, if you're thinking about what to get, sit
down together and say what do we want the child
to be interested in? Maybe maybe instead of makeup, why
don't we get her you know, maybe maybe we'll get
her in a pottery class. You know, she wants to
(38:54):
do something with her hands. Let's put her in a
pottery class. And let's say why don't you make something
and earn whatever it is that you want to do.
I think there's so many and figure out where the
gifts and the talents are. I think what we're doing
is letting, letting the world tell us what our kids
can be good at. And so figure out, you know,
and maybe she's a gymnast or maybe you know, maybe
(39:16):
she plays the guitar or maybe something. But again, when
you take something away, put something in its place, right
and so and I think, and let the kid in
on it with you, say, hey, we're going to work
on this together because this is what we don't want
to do and this is what we do want to do.
And I think that that might be a strategy, but
you've got to get everybody in on it. There can't
(39:38):
be a set of folks like I didn't allow my
child to play video games, but then the grandparents keep
one to deliver video games, you know, And I would say,
and it's going to write in a trash can, right
because I've said this is not what this is what
we're not going to do.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
That's what we.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Can do, right.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
And it takes a lot, It takes an incredible amount
of energy, which is why you got to get the
village to work with you. But you've got to be
able to stand and build a fence around the child
until the child can do it for themselves, right, because
they they're the most precious resource that we have. So
spend whatever you have to spend any energy, any amount
(40:14):
of money to protect them and until they can get
into the place where they can do it for themselves.
But enlist the village and say, hey, village, how are
we going to get this one through so that they
don't end up like everybody else.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I love it interesting my woman.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
When the baby was born, I instantly became the weakest link, right. So,
and I think that's a grandparent thing. I think that's
a grandparent thing because.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
My mom looked.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I will hear my mother tell my daughter when she
was a little girl, stop that, you know your mother
gonna get you.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
So when I became a grandparent, it was like, stop that,
you know your mother gonna get you. But my daughter
had to tell me just what you just said. What
I when I say no, it has.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
To be no for you too, yes? And I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Okay, because I can't say no at home. And then
she comes to your house and do whatever she wants
to do. So they became no across the board and
my granddaughter would try, though she would try, but when
she said no, I was like, now your mom say
you can't do that, So now she knows that she
Can't's kind of like when your when your when your
when your when your kids said hey can I do this? Yeah,
it was it's like, I can't do that. So that
(41:18):
was one thing and I thought about I thought about
the the Christmas gift. So I said to my daughter,
getting her keyboard with a napp so she can learn
how to play the keyboard music.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
She goes, oh, that's a great idea. I didn't think
about that. Yeah, that's what she's gonna get.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
And not only that, and if she likes you. That's
what doctor Stanley was saying, find your interest and build.
That's what you call training them up. And I think
a lot of us don't want to. I hate to
say this, but it seems as if the modern day
parent is more focused on career than really raising up
(41:53):
children in a way, right, more important that they're involved
in this and this and that and the other thing.
And when they're involved in these other things that require
them to be around other people that influences their self
image as well. Right, And it's just important if we're
going to raise up chickens and raise up flowers and everything.
(42:14):
You understand what I'm saying, put that energy into our children,
our children's children, nieces and nephews, the village. But the
one word I want to focus on that you said,
Doctor Stanley, was radical.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
It must be radical.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
It must even if it appears to be radical, that
is okay at the end of the day. So that
our children, grandchildren, our village is healthy. Radical seems to
be the order of the day. Doctor Stanley, I'd like
to give you the last word, if you would please.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Well.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
First of all, doctor Change, thank you so much for
inviting me. I really appreciate it. I think this is
really incredible work that you're doing and we need more
of it. But I would just say to everyone who's
who's listening, just that, uh, this isn't just a message
about kids, It's about everyone about being careful. What you
see your mind is incredible, it is It is the
(43:09):
gift the playground that God gave you from you know
that that is his own is a reflection of who
he is, just like he can can build worlds, so
can you and your imagination. It feeds your mind, and
then your mind builds your world. And so build the
world that you want. You know, and stop letting other
people build your world for you.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
Love it, love it. Remember you were created to be respected.
Start with yourself and let it trickle down to the children.
Thank you and Audrey, thank you so much for all
you did and with our technical difficulty in helping me
behind the scene. The doctor Stanley, we thank you. So
you're an incredible person. Audrey, we love you.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Thank you, man, I love you, Doctor Jon And let
me tell you something. I just take so so doctor Sam,
I just take doc, take doctor.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Doctor.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
She's good. I just said you're good.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
She has a lot of amazing people on the show,
But just your energy and the way you explain things,
it was so like people can just sit here and
listen and get it because it was that it was
that clear and you could feel like what you were
saying because it makes so much sense. Even when it
came down to like pornography, I'm over here cringing, like
because that was always my thing. There's no storyline, lok,
(44:24):
that sucks so I'm not watching that good right, So,
but I'm not judging, as doctor Chen saying, I'm not
judging for you.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
I'm just saying, this is a conversation, just keeping it real. Listen.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Listen, Share this episode
with somebody. I say this every two weeks, but I'm
saying it again today.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
We're gonna be on Thanksgiving break. Share this episode with
somebody so they can.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Sit down and listen to it and think about what
on Thanksgiving, what they're gonna buy on Black Friday for
the kids because somebody's gonna go shopping at twelve o'clock
Thursday night or twelve o'clock Friday morning because it's Black Friday,
or small business sad or siting for Monday, or given
to it's gonna be one of those.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
They need to watch this episode first because right now
we still control those kids.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
We can still shape their mindset, we can still help
them create those images because there are kids.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Where are you adults?
Speaker 1 (45:15):
So before you do anything, share this episode, go to
the website Lindachinministries dot com to support doctor Chin and
the work that she's doing. I want to thank doctor
Tasha Tasha Stanley for being here today and just explaining
what she explains so very eloquently, and just for the
average day person to really get in and understand. We're
back in two weeks. You guys, have a wonderful Thanksgiving enjoy,
(45:38):
don't eat too much turkey, don't eat too much cake,
you know, all of that.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Stuff that we normally do. Don't do any of those things.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
We'll be back in two weeks, same place, same time.
Thank you again for joining us, doctor ken chen Is always.
Thank you for trusting me even when I'm having difficulties.
Thank you for trusting me to make sure that the
show get going. You know, behind the scenes I'm crazy,
but in front of the camera, I hope I'm doing
a good job.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
And keep that. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Will be back to subscribe where we listen to a YouTube, Spotify,
our Heart, Google, Apple where you listen, subscribe to the
show and share with the Brown Till next time. Make
it a great day by everybody, please,
Good afternoon, Good afternoon, Good afternoon. Welcome to an episode
another episode of Keeping It Real with doctor Linda Chennaim
Audibel Kearny, the producer of the show, who had a
powerful show for you today.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
It's called the Power of Mental Images.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Let me tell you some the things that you hold
in your mind will determine everything. And I know this
is going to be a powerful show. Doctor Tennis here,
she has a wonderful guest coming on with her today.
Her name is Doctortershia. I hope I'm saying that right,
Doctor Toshia Stanley. She was most recently the provost and
Vice president for Academic Affairs for Wagner College, where she
led the Academic Mission Envision. She previously served as the
(00:55):
dean of School of Humanities, Arts and Science at Saint
Catherine's University in Saint Paul, Minnesota, where she focused on
developing programs and courses that engage the liberal arts and
learning process and brave social justice across the curriculum.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
She's gonna be here today.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
They're gonna be talking about They're gonna be talking about,
you know, the positive mental images that we hold in
our head and untrust me, they are powerful, and they
do actually cause us to do the things we do
and become the person of people we want to become.
So I'm gonna bring them to the stage. I'm gonna
dip out after that, and then I'll be back at the.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
End of the show. So welcome to the stage, everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yay, yay, yay.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Thank you, Audrey, and welcome to the wonderful doctor Tasha Stanley. Yes, wonderful,
wonderful woman of God, whom I've known for decades and
loved dearly, dearly, wise, and really humorous when you get
to know it. She's humorous, super intelligent, and just a
wonderful overall human being. Welcome to the keeping it real
(01:56):
with doctor Chen. Hallelujah, Doctor Tasha. Still, how you doing,
I'm good? How are you good?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Good? Good?
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Thank you, and thank you so much for just saying yes.
It means the world to me, honestly. So just you know,
so we're not be laboring or you know, just staying
late with time because we had a little technical difficulty.
But I want you to tell us a little bit
about yourself and your interest in your level of work
and the power of images.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Sure, so you know I'm a college professor, and I'm
in English. Literature was the thing I studied for years
and years. But when I was in graduate school and
I had just finished my masters, I was starting on
my PhD work. And I've always been a film lover.
I've always loved, you know, just film and television. And
I was that kid that, you know, whenever I was
(02:46):
watching television, I couldn't hear anything else, and so I
get in trouble all the time, because, you know, I
go deaf because of whatever I was watching. But when
I was in graduate school, I watched a film and
it was called Daughters of the Dust, and I had
never seen a film where there were images of women
of color and such variety. And I remember sitting in
a theater watching this film, and I thought, I've never
(03:08):
had this experience before. And I remember thinking, images are
so incredibly powerful that I think I want to study them.
And so I switched what I was doing from literature
to really begin to engage images and media studies. And
so that became the focus of the work that I
was doing. And so I finished out my PhD work
and really looking at media and images and how powerful
(03:31):
they were, and particularly what images we were seeing of
people of color at that particular time, So looking at
you know, how we were represented in the media. It
was a lot of video media at the time, a
lot of music, imagery, and social media had just begun
to get started. So I was really taking a look
at that and understanding how it had begun to affect
(03:52):
us and how particularly how it was affecting children who
were looking at those images as they were growing up.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Wow. Okay, so what makes images so powerful?
Speaker 5 (04:04):
Well, you know, the images that we are seeing everything
that we do and image feeds our imagination, and imaginations
really create our reality. So those things that we see,
they affect how we think about ourselves and how we
think about our world and then how we build our worlds.
So everything that we do, everything that becomes when you
(04:27):
think about inventions, when you think about you know, any
building that gets built, it has to first happen in
the imagination. So it's really really important the things that
we think about, the things that we imagine, and those
things get really solidified by the things that we see,
those images that we first create in our minds, we
bring those things, We very much can bring those things
(04:47):
into reality. So those things that we're influenced by are
the things that we really are seeing on a daily basis.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Wow, So really you just defined imagination, right, that power
of forming mental images and what is actually not present, right,
the same power creating mental images of what's never ever
been actually experienced. That's really what you're doing is defining imagination,
(05:14):
creating images by combining previous experiences.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
You know, I mean, I just love it.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
So then why you talked about children and what happens
even from a childhood stage. Why is it important to
limit our exposure to violent and hyper sexual imagery? And
then why is it especially important in the case of
young children. So the first question is why is it
important to limited exposure.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Because those things become normalized for us, So the things
that we see most often, the things that we see
that are repeated for us over and over and over again,
become normal. So, you know, when we think about our exposure,
particularly to violent hyper sexual images, we're the first general
to experience those things on a daily basis and the
(06:03):
number of times that we see them on a daily basis,
so they have an effect on the way that we
live out our lives. And so seeing those things that
you know, like I remember one Saturday, I was cleaning
up and I love, like, you know, like all of
those CSI marathons or whatever. And I remember I started
out the morning and by the evening I thought to myself,
how many dead bodies did I see today? I remember
(06:26):
asking myself that question and thinking, Wow, what did I
just spend a whole ten hours doing? And what effect has.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
That had on me?
Speaker 5 (06:35):
Because I just watched this all day long. I just
got caught up, and I thought, what then, what effect
does that have on a little person who can't distinguish
reality from fantasy? And so those things becoming normalized for us,
and we begin to then create a way of thinking
and a way of relating to other people that can
(06:57):
become really dangerous because those things no longer are you know,
so we're not moved by dead bodies anymore. Those things
don't become for us, you know, I think that is abnormal.
They become normal for us, and we can see the
effects of that in our society. We don't think that,
you know, the way which we're supposed to have sympathy
(07:19):
and empathy for other people is no longer in effect
because those things to us aren't fantastic anymore. They aren't abnormal,
they become normalized.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Wow, and good afternoon, miss Felicia Jacobs, thank you for
joining us today. So the fact that they become normalized,
really that that's.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Kind of it's it's sad.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
And it's scary in that how many of us have
permitted the television to babysit our children, right, you know,
sometimes that's the best people could do. We're not judging
anybody here, We're simply having a discussion. And also, so
we started this out, we're really focusing on the mind.
This is the third series on the mind. We talked
(08:02):
about mind, the master power, master your mind. Now we're
talking about mental images and how it impacts us. And
she talked about the hypersensitivity, right of these sexual images
and violent images that we show. Now I remember, believe
it or not, and I won't mention the name of
the Burger fast food place, and their commercials showed women
(08:28):
with like you remember the Daisy Duke shorts, really short
shorts in the backseat of a car making out with
a guy. And I thought, what does this have to
do with Hamburgers? Like, what does this have to do?
And so I actually call the company express my opinion,
and you know, they thank me for calling them.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Up and so forth and so on.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
I haven't bought a burger from them since because it
offended me. Right, And so, you know, when you think
about on what we see today, and you're saying today,
we see it not only every day, but multiple times
a day. We see it on billboards, we see it
in commercials. When we think about it, I.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Remember when they never used to use the word or
the term period right on commercials and showing women with
you know, you understand what I'm saying, hygienic hygiene products
and so forth, and so it is concerning and that,
and what you're saying that is that we really really
really need to pay attention not only to what they're
(09:25):
watching as a program, but to television of the commercials
that come in between.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Absolutely, and what we're seeing now is because we have
access to so many different kinds of images, so many channels,
you know, so much media content, people have to figure
out a way to cut through that and get your attention.
So things that were not we didn't have access to
before that were considered you know, too much to to
to put on regular television or that you know, those
(09:55):
laws have gotten really laxed now because advertisers have uh
you know, have you know, have lobbied so that they
can put more things, you know, give the public access
to more things. And it's to cut through the noise
because it's so incredibly difficult to get to people to
recognize your product or to hear what you're saying, because
there's just so much access to so many different kinds
(10:19):
of images out there, So people will be doing more
and more sensational things in order to get your attention.
So the reason that the burger was paired with people,
you know, sexualized content is to get your attention because
there's so much there's so much competition for it, and
so there's just this bombardment and the more you are bombarded,
the more difficult it is to get your attention. So
(10:41):
the more advertisers are going to be to do extraordinary things,
are going to go to extraordinary lens then to create
content that will cut through the noise to get your attention.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
And so, as I heard someone say, he said, they
do it and they get away with it because sex
sells sex cells.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
So how can we be.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Vigilant regarding the constant exposure to these images you know,
to media and social images. How can we be more
vigilant with our children? In particular, I think that I.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Think you have to understand that, yes, you have to
limit the content for children, but you also have to
do it for yourselves. So it has me particularly, I
think a family affair, you have to really think about
how much how you want to limit your entire family,
and everybody has to work toward that. There are lots
of studies that are out the American Psychological Association, there
(11:36):
are so many think tanks that do studies on how
much content children are getting every week, and you really
have to think about how many hours you want to
expose your children to whatever the content is, whether it's
worth you think is good content or whether you think
is harmful, think about how many hours that is, and
then think about how you want to limit that, and
then how you want to fill that gap, right, because
(11:58):
you've got to fill and so think about how as
a family, how you know, whether you're a single parent
or you have other folks who are helping you take
care of your kids. How's a village do you want
to limit their contact? And what do you want to
replace it with? Because there has to be something I
myself was a single parent who was doing this work
and was raising my daughter at the same time, and
(12:18):
had to make decisions about what will you fill her
time with while you're studying these images, what will you do?
And so having to figure out what images did I
want her to be exposed to, and how would I
have them to be delivered to her, and who was
going to help me with that, because you can't escape everything,
but also having conversations with your family, with your children
(12:40):
about images and about the intent of the image. What
is it that the image wants you to do. There
are other countries that don't allow advertisers to advertise to
children under certain ages, So you will not see toy commercials,
you will not see commercials during children's prime time, you know, programs,
you won't see those commercials that are aimed at kids
(13:01):
under certain ages because they've recognized how susceptible they are
to certain kinds of images. And so it's about making
decisions with the children as well, you know, as they
become age appropriate, and helping them understand that advertisers want
certain things from them, So give them tools as well
to help them because you're not going to be with
(13:23):
them all the time.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So give them some tools to.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Understand what it is that folks who are showing these
images what they want from them as well.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
So I have a niece and her she's got a son.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
She has a couple of children, but she's got a
son who's five going on six now.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
But I kept them while they were away for a.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Little more than a week, so I had good time
and exposure with them. And whenever he had now he
had access to the remote control. But of course they
had controls on their programs and so forth and so on,
and he got to something that may have not had control,
he would run to me and say, Aunt Linda, is disappropriate.
(14:07):
So I knew they had the conversations with them. I
love that they had the conversations. And even when some
of the so called innocent cartoons, which can be very
violent and go right bias because we you know, we
think it's a cartoon for crying out loud, how violent
can it be, he would still ask me, is it appropriate?
Then not only the images, but the songs, write some
(14:29):
of the songs they sing, and then they have these
the animations and they're moving these body parts and so forth,
And I thought, what in the world does this have
to do with counting and and and the alphabet and
so forth, and so I just you know, it's scary.
It's it's really scary. So I want am glad that
you've done the work. And so then my next question
(14:51):
is our images. So do you think that this is
part of the reason why men and women are so
there's a huge addiction to pornography men and women. Do
you think that this has played a role because back
in the day it was magazines right hidden under the mattress,
and I remember certain men would allow their sons to
(15:14):
have the magazines and would seem innocent. So do you
think that's played a part in it?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It definitely has.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
It's really shaped the way, particularly young people relate to
one another in terms of the ways in which they
think about the way they relate in terms of sexuality.
It's been a while, but I did an end depth
study probably around twenty sixteen seventeen, when I was teaching
a course on images on pornography, because I really wanted
to understand and at the time it was people were
(15:45):
still mostly downloading pornography from computers, and they were moving
to cell phones and such easy access. But it's much
easier access on your phone now. But at the time
when I was doing a study and bringing it to
my class, one of the things I said to them
was that we're not going to look in images because
you don't need to do that, right, So we're just
gonna talk about it. And here's what I found and
(16:07):
and and again this is old now because I haven't
done it recently. That relationships had had definitely been affected,
uh and and and particularly young men, the ways in
which they were being introduced to sex for the first
time mostly had been through media. And and gone were
the days of the magazine because it was a still image,
(16:28):
so their imaginations could still do some work, but with
the visual images that were being downloaded on computers and
on phones, actually there was no imagination.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Now.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
All of it had been done for them, you know,
in someone's studio, and the kinds of stories and images
that they were getting were actually very violent. So now
there was no you know, like where sex was the
actual end of a story. Sex was the only act,
and it was aggressive sexual act after sexual act after
(17:01):
sexual act, where the woman always had no was always
saying yes, it didn't matter how violent it was and
that there was no kind of relationship built into it.
So what we were seeing was that in the pornography
(17:21):
is that it was so much more violent and so
much more aggressive, and that there was no kind of
reciprocity at all. And so it was really there were
studies that were linking the kinds of aggression that was
happening in relationships to this being the kind of first
understanding of sexuality, particularly that young men were getting about
(17:43):
this is what it is like real.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Real relationships based on what they were seeing.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
Right, So for them, sex was about she always says yes,
and she always does exactly what I want, and that
there isn't any kind of reciprocity, and so it was
even worse than you know, like you know, a magazine
would have been preferable because there was still some imagination,
there was still some act, and even earlier porn films,
(18:10):
there was actually a story involved where you had to
have at least a conversation or some kind of relationship building.
But all of that was gone. It was nothing but
an act after and act after an act after an act,
and so there became no sense of any kind of
relationship building that had to go on at all. It
was simply that your job is to say yes to me.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
So I remember.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Talking to a friend of mine and explained that the
more a person watches and engages in pornography, it's like
the grooves in a record. Remember back in the day
when we used to play write forty fives and albums
and we play them over and over and over till
it would create a groove.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
And that's what she explained.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
And so there needs to be a therapeutic deliverance, if
you will, in order to deal with that whole addiction.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
So it's not just you know, like cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
And you know, I prayed my way out of the
addiction to nicotine.
Speaker 3 (19:12):
That's the God's honest truth.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
And the next thing I know, my husband said to me,
you realize you hadn't had a cigarette in thirty days.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
But so, so, what.
Speaker 4 (19:20):
Are the kind of ways and what can people do
in order to relieve themselves and be healed from it
so that relationships can be healthy.
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I think you have to want to.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
First of all, you have to recognize that there are
other ways of relating to one another sexually. Particularly this
has been your first exposure to sexuality. It's not the
only way to relate to a partner, right, and so
recognizing that there are other ways to relate to a partner.
This isn't the only way, and that if this is
how you grew up and if you were exposed in
elementary or middle school and this is all you saw,
(19:52):
and if this was reinforced to you and your friend
groups or whatever, that this is the way that you relate.
This is not the only way, and you have to
recognize if it particularly if you if you feel like
this isn't the way you want to relate and you've
had difficulty, there is another way. And so recognizing that
first of all, seeking help. There's lots of help out
(20:13):
there for that. There's help in terms of spiritual help,
does help, in terms of of you know, therapy, there
are all kinds of ways to get help, and recognizing
that it's just not it's not just a male thing.
There's it's also lots of people who have been exposed
to sexuality in this way and who think that you
know that this is the way, which this is the
way I can relate sexually, that there are other ways,
(20:34):
and so I think recognizing it and then recognizing that
the point the point industry is a business, and so
it wants to create people and wants to create a need.
It wants to create, you know, this idea that there's
something that you need from them that you've got to
pay for.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
And it's just like the.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Other business I got to create. I got to create
a need and then I need to satisfy that need.
And I have this product and you need to buy it.
So recognizing that is a business and that you know,
there are folks who are trying to create a product
to sell to you, and so I think looking at
those things as well, and then finding you know, a
support group, finding people who can help you, and not
being ashamed, right, not being ashamed that this is something.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Right, right, that's right.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
I think it's really important.
Speaker 4 (21:16):
So then our images that play on the screens of
our minds only generated by what we see with our eyes.
Speaker 5 (21:24):
No, absolutely, because and I think remember that the images
that are going on in your head and in your
heart come from all of your senses. It can be
what you see, it can be what you hear, it
can be what you taste, it can be what you smell.
So that our mind is such a powerful place, and
the images that are created in our minds can come
from all of our senses, and recognizing that all of
(21:46):
those things play a role. It is what you see,
but what you see can come also with what you smell,
with what you taste, but what you hear. That all
of those things are working together to create those images.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
So then do you think it's true that the subconscious
mind can't really distinguish between a vivid imagination and what's reality.
Speaker 5 (22:09):
It can create a reality, I think, especially for young folks,
you know, so, particularly for children. It's very difficult for
kids to distinguish. That is why there's always that moniker,
don't try this at home. It's very difficult for kids
to distinguish what is reality and what is fantasy and so,
which is why we have to protect them from that
and be very careful to protect their worlds. Until they
(22:31):
can make those distinctions for themselves. They can't tell, which
is why kids think they're monster's under the bed. They
can't tell, and so recognizing that and protecting them is
really really important. Because they can't tell, so, and because
their imaginations are so powerful, I think protecting them from
(22:52):
those things, those extra things also gives them a space
to imagine the things that they should be imagining. Theyreaing
a sense of self. They should be creating spaces to
learn the things that they need to be learning in school.
You know, they should be creating positive images of themselves.
They should be creating, you know, these worlds in which
(23:13):
they want to live. They should be building very positive,
powerful images of themselves.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
And they don't.
Speaker 5 (23:19):
They won't be able to do that if they're inundated
with these other things.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
So then self images, you know, since images are so powerful,
then our imagination can change a person's self image, right, right,
So the things that we see and I think about this,
and you know, and and again this is no judgment,
this is nothing. We're simply having a conversation. And I'm
(23:46):
loving the information because out of the information you're saying,
I'm getting revelation.
Speaker 3 (23:51):
Right. And so I think I've been.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
Watching, speaking of watching show up the show kind of
like benjam I've been watching some of Hawaii five oh.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Nobody remember Hawaii five oh. And I was looking.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
At the things I see right now, like the short
cheerleader type skirts and the bellies out. I was seeing
that that's what they were wearing back then, right, the
eyelashes and so then we have the shapers, the body shapers.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
And it seems to me that most people that I.
Speaker 4 (24:24):
Know do not have a good self image because of
what we see somebody else looks like. We want to
be slim, you know, rather than doing the things we
need to do in our diet and exercise habit, we
will buy things. And you know, if we don't have
the type hair texture that we like, will buy hair.
(24:44):
No judgment, I'm just saying that we have a real
problem with self image and that's disturbing to me.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
I think it's because we only see one kind, right.
We see a very specific type of image that is
touted over and over and over and over again, and
the messages you need to come as close to this
image as possible in order to be seen as desirable
or beautiful or whatever. And so it's it's it's that
it's the one type of image that we see over
(25:15):
and over and over again and again. It's a business,
and so it's about creating a desire and a need
and a deficit, and so that you have to spend
money in order to feel that deficit, and nobody gets
to create. We always think that there's somebody who's got it,
who's living up to the image? Nobody gets to live
(25:36):
up to the image, right. Tell my students all the
time that it doesn't matter who you are. Even if
you get it for a moment, you can't hold onto
it because you're going to age, right, because you can
never ever be the age that you know, like you
can't be twenty five forever, and so you can spend
your life trying to get to twenty five, and then
you spend the rest of your life trying to stay
twenty five, right, and so so that's a you know,
(25:58):
it's a quote from us see Lewis book, right, And
so nobody gets to hold onto it. So there's always
a deficit. There's always a place you're trying to get.
It doesn't matter who you are, and so there's this
constant place in which you're having to spend money and
which you're always experiencing this loss of self in order
(26:19):
to make someone else rich. And so there has to
come a point, or the hopefully they should, they should
come a point in which you decide who it is
you are and who you want to be, and that
you get your sense of self esteem from some place
other than you know, an image off of you know,
Instagram or you know, wherever you have to, because they
(26:42):
will never let you be.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
Satisfied because again it's tied to their pocketbook, it's tied
to their bottom line. Yesterday I had the opportunity to
minister at a local church and we went through Psalm
one thirty nine, where you know David talks about you
search me and you've known me, and at the end
he talks about search my heart and know me, try
(27:05):
me know my thoughts that they'd be any wicked way.
In the middle of that is verse I think it's
fourteen and fifteen where the Psummis says, I.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
Am fearfully and wonderfully.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Made, marvelous in my sight, and thy sight are thy
works and my he says, and my mind, my soul.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
Knows it very well.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
And I think, yes, we're fearfully and wonderfully made. And
as I did deep dive into the research of those words,
it means that you're deserving of respect. Fearfully made means
you're deserving of respect. Right like the fear of God.
It doesn't mean torment. Fear it means respect. It means
to be in awe and for some reason, as many times,
(27:50):
as I know people quote that scripture, we have no
idea that we were made to be respected, and that
starts with self respect. And then he goes on to
say and that my soul knows right well, we don't
know that we've been created right to be respected.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
We don't know.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
And I think that's kind of what I love about
my calling as a teacher, right and ministering the gospel,
the good News.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But as a.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
Teacher, I love the study, as you love to study
what you're called to do.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
But my heart goes out.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
To people who have no idea that they were created
by God to be respected and that we're marvelous.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
It's marvelous in his sight, and if you think.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
About it, we are the only thing that He put
his hands to create.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Everything else he created through words. You get what I'm
saying you, And so what can we do to get
people to know that you were created to be respected
and to know it in your mind, in your will,
and in your emotions that that's how God created you.
(29:01):
I think that you have to know.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
You have to be able to feel the love that
God has for you you.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
If you don't, you know, everything begins there.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
You have to feel the love that God has for.
Speaker 4 (29:16):
You, and a lot of times we don't feel that
even in our own personal spaces and our own homes.
Not everyone knows how to show the love of God.
Not everyone knows how to express the love of God,
which we know is unconditional, like God doesn't care. And
I have learned experientially that when a person least deserves
(29:42):
it right, it is when they need love the most,
when they least deserve it, when they've messed up, when
they've fallen down, when they've done something even in willful disobedience.
That's how God loves us. There's nothing we can do,
we know this, to make him love us anymore any less.
And so my hope is that someone is listening to
(30:02):
this and knowing that we have got to learn do
everything that we can to learn the love of God.
And for me, I learned it, I'll be honest. I
didn't learn it at home. I learned it through reading
the Scripture. That's how I learned the love of God.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Because when I.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Went from from the beginning, from Genesis to Revelation were
just in the Old Testament, I thought, how many times
have we messed up.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Been disobedient?
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Created idols, worship things other than God, worship people other
than God. And He keeps loving us, he keeps taking
us back, he keeps blessing us, he keeps giving us,
he keeps providing. You will see that not just through
every book, but even every chapter, almost in every book
of the Bible.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
And so I'm hoping we encourage somebody to read the
scriptures even today. This is even it real.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Yeah, I leave God out of keeping it real with
doctor I can't leave him out. While the topics are practical,
and thank God for your wisdom and your insight and
and given us some instruction. We still we cannot leave
out God. We cannot do it. And so I want
(31:18):
to bring Audrey back on to ask her because she
started out talking about how powerful images are.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Right.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
She's in media, that's her that's her work, right. She
is a podcaster, that's.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Her work, And so I want her to come back
on and tell us what she got out of this
conversation and some of the things that you relate to
us through your great wisdom inside and experience.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
This has been truly powerful.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I'm over here writing notes as I always do, because
if I'm not writing when doctor Chen is on by herself.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
I'm writing when she has guests.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
One of the things I had a flashback, so I
amvent at the first plus sized fashion doll. And when
you think about a plus sized fashion dolls, they're twice
the size of Barbie, the same height, but Barbie maybe
a size two and the dolls in real world bill
sized fourteen. That was how we designed them.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I remember getting this email from a woman. This was
years ago, like twenty years ago. And at that time,
let me tell you how old it was.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I had AOL that was my email server, AOL. That's
how old it was. And she sent me an she
sent me a nasty Grammarch. What she sent me, she said,
the audacity.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Of black women. You know, I'm walking around wearing a
mumu and you have on like I.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Think I had on like black, some black pants or
something and like a Q shirt, right, But she couldn't
see herself wearing that.
Speaker 5 (32:42):
Me.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
On the other hand, when I was in eighth grade,
when I moved to Jersey, I was in eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I had two teachers.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
My math teacher she was plus sized, My science teacher,
My social studies teacher was plus size. My math teacher
told me. She said, you're a plus sized girl. She said,
you always got a look cute. That's when she said
to me. And I was in eighth grade and I
went home and I told my mom, and my mom
took me shopping, and I remember going back to school
on Monday with these black jeans on and a black
(33:08):
and white shirt. So that has been an image that
was burning in my head in eighth grade. And so
when you think about the mental images that people holding themselves,
I couldn't see myself walking around with a move move,
but that's all that woman could see herself walking around with.
That's all the mental image in her head soft for
her as a plus sized woman, was a move move.
And at first I'd be like, what the heck is
a move move? Because I didn't know what that was.
(33:30):
And he was like, oh, so it's one of the
big dresses. I was like, oh yeah, no, I would
not be wearing that. But that is so powerful and
for her it was the audacity. So that brought back
that memory for me when you said that.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
The other thought. The other thing I thought about was
how much you how much we see.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
These images on television. Anybody who knows about the advertising industry.
In order to put somebody to buy something, they have
to see at least seven times repeatedly. Well, we see
this on a daily basis, seven times in an hour,
forget a just repeatedly. So I can see why that
would be a something that's burned into somebody's memory forever,
(34:08):
Doctor Stanley, I did want to I did want to
touch on the subconscious mind about this thing, because what
you said was doctor.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
She asks a question, is just the things you see?
Speaker 1 (34:19):
And you say, no, it's the things you hear. It's
the smells, it's the taste that is so powerful people.
Some people don't even realize that they heard something that
created imaging in mind, or they smelled something that created
image in mind. Or my mom passed in twenty one
and twenty yeah, twenty one, and I can hear any
kind of song like she loves the eyes, she loves
(34:39):
the eyes of brothers, right, she loves anytime anything come
on around Oisley. I immediately go back to, like my
eight year old self, immediately just visually seeing her dancing
my aunt loves Strawberry Love to twenty two, one.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Of her favorite songs.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I immediately go back to my eight year old self
when I hear old songs and I could see my grandmother's.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
House, I just need to find porch I disolve that.
Can you can you? Can you talk to a little.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Bit about how do you change the subconscious images when
they're not good images?
Speaker 5 (35:12):
Well, I think that you have to you once you
recognize that, you have to then set an intention and
then when you set that intention, decide what it is
you want to replace it with, and then begin to
do that. So then every time that happens, you have
to have something you want to put in its place.
And the Bible teaches us that right, so you know,
(35:32):
when you cast out something, you got to put something
in its place, right, So then decide what you want
to be in its place, whether it's a different song
or a scripture or some and act something you want
to do. You have to put something in its place
that's going to erase whatever that is, whether it's you know,
whether you're going to go and get help from therapy
or you're going to where you're going to to you know,
(35:54):
seek out a counselor at church or for somebody to
help you. But there must be something you put in
its place. You can't just say I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna think about that. I'm not gonna You've
got to put something in this place. Be intentional about that.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, And I think that's so important. And the last
thing I want to touch on is the things that
our kids are saying. I have a five year old granddaughter,
and my daughter and I were talking the other day
about what do we get them for Christmas? Like before
it was like toys, Like she's five, she doesn't even
want toys. Like it's like what, I don't even know
what to get her because they see all of this
(36:29):
stuff that's grown up.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Related and that's what they want. They want makeup kids. Now.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
All of the girls want makeup kids. They've always wanted that,
but not these kids don't want anything but those type
of things.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
They want the iPads, they want.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Them to tap.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
They want all these things that are really grown up.
And I don't know how we change that moving forward,
Like I really don't. My daughter asked me last week,
she said, why do they want to get rid of TikTok?
I said, well, they feel like.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
TikTok is brainwashing us.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I said, in China, they don't see the same TikTok
that you see what people dance and doing all this stuff.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
She said, what do you mean. I said, they're not
allowed to see that.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I said, China owns the media there and they tell
you what you can watch over here. We just got
free range everything, I said, So that's why they want
to control. They want to control TikTok for monetary reasons.
But China realizes we are making a lot of money
because we let you do what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
In China, they can't do that. She's like, I didn't
know that.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
So that's kind of that's kind of cool in one
aspect because it kind of says, well, I don't want them.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
To see these things.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
But the flip side of that is, as we look
at it from here, it's taking away one of our liberties,
right our freedom of speech and all this things in China,
and they was like, you don't have that. You you
cannot do these things here. You can't watch that kind
of stuff. So they block their kids out from all
of that kind of so we don't and my granddaughter,
my daughter had to take the app off of the TV,
(37:53):
like the smart teams come with all of the apps.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
She had to go and remove.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
All of the YouTube apps off through TV in my
granddaughter's room because she knows how to turn the TV on.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
She knows how to turn.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
The fs on, so she took them all off. So
you know, I think that I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
How we change that though, like because everywhere.
Speaker 5 (38:11):
I would say, you know, I would say again, enlist
the village and be radical, right, yes, in the village.
Take the television out of the room, Explain why have
television in one room. Make sure there's a certain amount
of time for television, and make the child earn it.
Here's what you have to do in order to watch.
Here are the things you get to watch. And then
(38:34):
have someone watching with the child, and then say, let's
talk about what you just watched, and let's let's have
some questions about it. And then I would say, also,
you know, if you're thinking about what to get, sit
down together and say what do we want the child
to be interested in? Maybe maybe instead of makeup, why
don't we get her you know, maybe maybe we'll get
her in a pottery class. You know, she wants to
(38:54):
do something with her hands. Let's put her in a
pottery class. And let's say why don't you make something
and earn whatever it is that you want to do.
I think there's so many and figure out where the
gifts and the talents are. I think what we're doing
is letting, letting the world tell us what our kids
can be good at. And so figure out, you know,
and maybe she's a gymnast or maybe you know, maybe
(39:16):
she plays the guitar or maybe something. But again, when
you take something away, put something in its place, right
and so and I think, and let the kid in
on it with you, say, hey, we're going to work
on this together because this is what we don't want
to do and this is what we do want to do.
And I think that that might be a strategy, but
you've got to get everybody in on it. There can't
(39:38):
be a set of folks like I didn't allow my
child to play video games, but then the grandparents keep
one to deliver video games, you know, And I would say,
and it's going to write in a trash can, right
because I've said this is not what this is what
we're not going to do.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
That's what we.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Can do, right.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
And it takes a lot, It takes an incredible amount
of energy, which is why you got to get the
village to work with you. But you've got to be
able to stand and build a fence around the child
until the child can do it for themselves, right, because
they they're the most precious resource that we have. So
spend whatever you have to spend any energy, any amount
(40:14):
of money to protect them and until they can get
into the place where they can do it for themselves.
But enlist the village and say, hey, village, how are
we going to get this one through so that they
don't end up like everybody else.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I love it interesting my woman.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
When the baby was born, I instantly became the weakest link, right. So,
and I think that's a grandparent thing. I think that's
a grandparent thing because.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
My mom looked.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
I will hear my mother tell my daughter when she
was a little girl, stop that, you know your mother
gonna get you.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
Right.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
So when I became a grandparent, it was like, stop that,
you know your mother gonna get you. But my daughter
had to tell me just what you just said. What
I when I say no, it has.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
To be no for you too, yes? And I was like, oh.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Okay, because I can't say no at home. And then
she comes to your house and do whatever she wants
to do. So they became no across the board and
my granddaughter would try, though she would try, but when
she said no, I was like, now your mom say
you can't do that, So now she knows that she
Can't's kind of like when your when your when your
when your when your kids said hey can I do this? Yeah,
it was it's like, I can't do that. So that
(41:18):
was one thing and I thought about I thought about
the the Christmas gift. So I said to my daughter,
getting her keyboard with a napp so she can learn
how to play the keyboard music.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
She goes, oh, that's a great idea. I didn't think
about that. Yeah, that's what she's gonna get.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
And not only that, and if she likes you. That's
what doctor Stanley was saying, find your interest and build.
That's what you call training them up. And I think
a lot of us don't want to. I hate to
say this, but it seems as if the modern day
parent is more focused on career than really raising up
(41:53):
children in a way, right, more important that they're involved
in this and this and that and the other thing.
And when they're involved in these other things that require
them to be around other people that influences their self
image as well. Right, And it's just important if we're
going to raise up chickens and raise up flowers and everything.
(42:14):
You understand what I'm saying, put that energy into our children,
our children's children, nieces and nephews, the village. But the
one word I want to focus on that you said,
Doctor Stanley, was radical.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
It must be radical.
Speaker 4 (42:27):
It must even if it appears to be radical, that
is okay at the end of the day. So that
our children, grandchildren, our village is healthy. Radical seems to
be the order of the day. Doctor Stanley, I'd like
to give you the last word, if you would please.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Well.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
First of all, doctor Change, thank you so much for
inviting me. I really appreciate it. I think this is
really incredible work that you're doing and we need more
of it. But I would just say to everyone who's
who's listening, just that, uh, this isn't just a message
about kids, It's about everyone about being careful. What you
see your mind is incredible, it is It is the
(43:09):
gift the playground that God gave you from you know
that that is his own is a reflection of who
he is, just like he can can build worlds, so
can you and your imagination. It feeds your mind, and
then your mind builds your world. And so build the
world that you want. You know, and stop letting other
people build your world for you.
Speaker 4 (43:30):
Love it, love it. Remember you were created to be respected.
Start with yourself and let it trickle down to the children.
Thank you and Audrey, thank you so much for all
you did and with our technical difficulty in helping me
behind the scene. The doctor Stanley, we thank you. So
you're an incredible person. Audrey, we love you.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Thank you, man, I love you, Doctor Jon And let
me tell you something. I just take so so doctor Sam,
I just take doc, take doctor.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Doctor.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
She's good. I just said you're good.
Speaker 5 (44:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
She has a lot of amazing people on the show,
But just your energy and the way you explain things,
it was so like people can just sit here and
listen and get it because it was that it was
that clear and you could feel like what you were
saying because it makes so much sense. Even when it
came down to like pornography, I'm over here cringing, like
because that was always my thing. There's no storyline, lok,
(44:24):
that sucks so I'm not watching that good right, So,
but I'm not judging, as doctor Chen saying, I'm not
judging for you.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
I'm just saying, this is a conversation, just keeping it real. Listen.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Listen, Share this episode
with somebody. I say this every two weeks, but I'm
saying it again today.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
We're gonna be on Thanksgiving break. Share this episode with
somebody so they can.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
Sit down and listen to it and think about what
on Thanksgiving, what they're gonna buy on Black Friday for
the kids because somebody's gonna go shopping at twelve o'clock
Thursday night or twelve o'clock Friday morning because it's Black Friday,
or small business sad or siting for Monday, or given
to it's gonna be one of those.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
They need to watch this episode first because right now
we still control those kids.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
We can still shape their mindset, we can still help
them create those images because there are kids.
Speaker 3 (45:14):
Where are you adults?
Speaker 1 (45:15):
So before you do anything, share this episode, go to
the website Lindachinministries dot com to support doctor Chin and
the work that she's doing. I want to thank doctor
Tasha Tasha Stanley for being here today and just explaining
what she explains so very eloquently, and just for the
average day person to really get in and understand. We're
back in two weeks. You guys, have a wonderful Thanksgiving enjoy,
(45:38):
don't eat too much turkey, don't eat too much cake,
you know, all of that.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Stuff that we normally do. Don't do any of those things.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
We'll be back in two weeks, same place, same time.
Thank you again for joining us, doctor ken chen Is always.
Thank you for trusting me even when I'm having difficulties.
Thank you for trusting me to make sure that the
show get going. You know, behind the scenes I'm crazy,
but in front of the camera, I hope I'm doing
a good job.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
And keep that. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Will be back to subscribe where we listen to a YouTube, Spotify,
our Heart, Google, Apple where you listen, subscribe to the
show and share with the Brown Till next time. Make
it a great day by everybody, please,
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