November 21, 2024 • 46 mins
Malaysia Harrell, a distinguished veteran, certified psychotherapist, mindset coach, and founder of Blissful Life Consulting.
Malaysia's achievements include:
- Transforming lives through her coaching programs, wellness retreats and workshops.
- Authoring the upcoming book, "God Has My Six," which delves into her military experiences and her profound journey of healing.
- Launching the successful "Tiny Miracles" series, sharing stories of turning pain into purpose.
Upcoming Book: ‘God Has My Six’
Other Book to check out: ‘The Body Keeps The Score’
Connect:
www.malaysiaharrell.com
Malaysia H. Harrell
IG & TikTok: @malaysiaharrell
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/kickin-it-with-keke-life-love-all-that-other-sh-t--5060376/support.
Malaysia's achievements include:
- Transforming lives through her coaching programs, wellness retreats and workshops.
- Authoring the upcoming book, "God Has My Six," which delves into her military experiences and her profound journey of healing.
- Launching the successful "Tiny Miracles" series, sharing stories of turning pain into purpose.
Upcoming Book: ‘God Has My Six’
Other Book to check out: ‘The Body Keeps The Score’
Connect:
www.malaysiaharrell.com
Malaysia H. Harrell
IG & TikTok: @malaysiaharrell
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/kickin-it-with-keke-life-love-all-that-other-sh-t--5060376/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Kicking In with Kiki. Kicking it you, Ki, Ki,
kicking it the ki key for a.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Little personality, switching up the storyline on God we making
this story.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And hooks changing fris one day at the time. Much
problems to the side.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Enjoy yourself, free.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Your mind, kicking it the ki kee.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hello, Hello, Hello, and thank you for tuning in to
another episode of Kicking It with Kiki, Life, love and
all that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel,
award winning author, mindset coach and owner of nineteen lifestyle magazine.
Today I I am joined with a new guest. Y'all.
We are in season seven and each guest gets better
(01:05):
and better and better. And you guys know how I
like to do. I like to give my guest the
opportunity to introduce themselves.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Hi, Welcome, Thank you Kiki for having me. I'm so
honored to be here today.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Listen, the honor is all mine because I'm gonna let
her tell y'all what she does. I love the resume,
so go ahead and tell the people who you are.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you well, Thank you again, and to all your listeners.
Good day to all of you. My name is Malaysia
heral and I am a newly minted veteran. I am
a spiritual transformation coach and author and a keynote speaker
(01:49):
along with a you know, doing coaching and being a
business owner for holistic wellness services called Blissful Life Consulting.
So again, I'm just so honored for this opportunity today.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Absolutely, well, thank you for joining us. We don't dive
right in. We talk about life, love and all the
other stuff. Right, so we are to jumping a little
bit about life now. I know you just mentioned that
you were into holistic wellness. Yes, let's speak a little
bit about that, because I love that. I love that.
I really don't like taking medications and things like that,
(02:24):
So if I'm able to do it naturally holistically, I'm
all for that. So what what do you believe we
as a people, because this platform is for us by us,
need to do to make sure that we are not
just taking the word of the doctors and taking all
of this medication, but doing something that we can benefit
(02:46):
from in our wellness.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Yeah, that is such an excellent question because the biggest
thing that we have been given as a gift is intuition, right,
and so you know, we can look at all the
things that are available, we can listen to everything that
everyone is telling us. But we've all been in a
(03:10):
situation where we've gone to a professional, whether it was
a medical professional, or something with your car, something with
your whatever it was, or a job, you know, and
somebody told you something, but your spirit was like, no,
I think there's more to it, right, And so you
know about your body and your health, even though you
(03:34):
may not want to consciously admit it, but intuitively you know.
So you notice it's like, oh, I get headaches all
the time or this or that, and it's like, no,
but this time is different. This time I can't really
pinpoint it, but my spirit is telling me that something
is different. So I think the biggest thing is honoring
(03:58):
those spiritual gifts that we do have. We talked about,
you know, your this platform is talks a lot about spirituality,
but honoring that If you feel like something is different
or not, you know, just just not the way you
think it should be, or it's not in alignment with
what your spiritual sense is telling you, then you know,
(04:20):
get a second opinion. And also, you know, so I'm
a bit very big on spiritual transformation, and we'll talk
about my story. So I think that also the biggest
thing is knowing that no matter what resources are available, no,
they're there to treat these symptoms and they are not
(04:41):
there to heal you. So even if you're working with
your team, there needs to be some sort of synergy
and there need to be a collaborative effort. So if
they're giving it, you know, if you have something very serious,
obviously you're gonna need something to take care of it,
to get it out of your b But what are
you doing on the other side of that to compliment what?
(05:05):
So for instance, you know, I had a near death
experience several years ago in twenty twenty after deployment, and
I had a septic hip. Now, the hospital tried to
send me home because they didn't believe me. They sent
them a psychiatrist, but my spirit told me that I
was transitioning, I was having a near death experience, and
I had to advocate for myself. But in saying that,
(05:28):
guess what, there weren't a lot of healthy options at
the hospital. So I mean, you could get a salad.
Nobody's eating salad all day, and you think you're dying anyway,
You're like, this isn't gonna be my last meal, you
know what I mean? And so I mean they have
a cup day mostly of pizzas, burgers, fries. That's mostly
what you're getting. You may get some jello, you may.
(05:51):
So I worked with my husband. I made some phone
calls to a actually I ended up meeting a health coach,
but I called and ordered some juice. So they made
some blended juice blends for me that were specifically gonna
address my issues, and my husband picked them up and
bring them to me. So again, it is a collaborative effort.
(06:15):
What is your mind thinking about, what is your spirit
thinking about? Are who are the people around you that
are telling you these things? So if people are saying, oh,
you got this diagnosis, well, Aunt Susie died of that,
you know what I mean? Like, no, No, you need
people around you who are gonna give you that confirmation,
that healing, that prayer that says that you know, we
(06:38):
can be healed and we can heal ourselves and you can.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Absolutely. I'm glad that you say that about juicing because
I started juicing like maybe four years ago, and it
took me down the best healing journey of your life.
I had to go back to my inner child, and
I realized that I was holding on to pain that
(07:03):
I shouldn't have been holding on to. I thought that
when my paternal grandmother passed that she took all the
love that I was supposed to have with her. And
so when I went back to that childhood, I realized
that wherever my mind took me, that five year old
Kiki took me. I allowed myself to be open and
free and see those things that she was telling them.
(07:25):
And I realized that everybody in my life was giving
me love. So when my grandmother passed, I wasn't just
left out there thinking that I wasn't worthy or whatever.
So yes, at juicing and having this spiritual intuition and
a prayer life and a personal relationship with God. Absolutely
surrounding yourself with people who who see you and hear you,
(07:48):
that makes a big difference, especially when it yes when
it comes to like healing. Because I was diagnosed two
years ago with stage three kidney disease. I went in
a couple of months ago for my my you know,
regular check up or whatever, and my spiritual mom and
I prayed and she was like, it's already done. You
(08:09):
just have to believe that that mountain is done. So
all of my numbers came back.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Great, Amen, and you do you you did something about it, right.
You didn't say, Okay, I'm just gonna pray and God's
just gonna send a prayer.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, no, no, had to make change.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
God is gonna give you the tools, but you that's
gonna do it. God's going, oh, I'm just gonna pray
and I'm gonna be No. You did what you needed
to do, and God, you listen to God to hear
what it is you should do. Because everybody's different. And
so if one person is juicing, one person is doing
more of a plant base. But some people may need
(08:47):
meet for certain things. Go with what God is telling
you because everybody's prescription is different.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Oh, everybody's prescription is different. I actually started eating for
my blood type and I know.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah, and I know eat me.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I don't miss it. And I'm thankful because had I
had you know how you like you was just talking about,
you have to tap into yourself and realize that something
is not wrong. So every time I'm eating this chicken,
my stomach starts to hurt and blow and I feel horrible.
I keep putting this inside myself.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Absolutely, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
It's a sacrifice, but it's the best sacrifice I've made
in my life. So yeah, I could for you, and
I'm glad that you're talking about this. So let's talk
about Less for Life consultant. How did that come about?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Well, in twenty seventeen, I actually founded the company. You
know again, I'm this was before you know, I made
my highest rank for active duty service, and it was like, well,
you know, I was trying to figure out like what
my life was going to be. And also, you know,
(09:58):
I've been doing mental health. I'm a say therapists, so
I've been doing mental health therapy for a long time.
And what I found was that when people only did
talk therapy and they only were tapping into the conscious
level because you talked about your inner child, that's it.
(10:18):
That's There are things that have happened, probably even in
your DNA before you were born, that came from your
family and their DNA that really put you on this
potential cycle depending on how you live your lifestyle, and
so as you grew there were things that were ingrained
in you, different things we might not be aware of
(10:40):
them might be some traumas we're holding on too. And
there's a book that that's called The Body Keeps the Score,
and I think that's a very it's not a like
a fun read. And I actually went to the gentleman Vanderkoff.
I think I went to his seminar as well. Ok So,
(11:00):
our bodies are a mechanism that tell us, you know,
what is intrinsically going on, but it's really also in
the spiritual and the subconscious level. And so again you
might be doing talk therapy, which I was doing with
my clients with mostly active duty members, you know, and
their family veterans, and they would keep coming back with
(11:23):
the same things. So it would be like, Okay, I
got this supervisor from h you know what I mean,
Like they're putting me through the dirt. And then you
move jobs and you have the same interaction, or you're
in a relationship with a partner and you getting another
one the same. It's like you're on this this wheel,
you know what I mean, You're like on this Gerbil
(11:45):
wheel and you're just like running in place. And it's
because there are things, there are subconscious issues that have
not been resolved and they could be when you think
about subconscious level, you think about how that ingrains in
your DNA, how it ingrains in your body, because that's
what's responding to all of it. And so if you
(12:07):
I realized, Okay, what can we do to really look
at this on a more holistic level. And so and
also the military was going towards that, they were starting
to introduce meditation, they were starting to introduce so I
was like, you know what, I want to look at
someone more holistically, you know, and so we did, you know,
ask about nutrition, We asked about all those things from
(12:30):
the biosycle social perspective, but it's more to it. It's
a lot more to it. And so because again it's everything.
It's what you're watching, it's who you're with, it's the
energy that you surround yourself with. So sometimes we keep
ourselves in environments that we know we shouldn't be in.
But it's like I'm going to prove a point because
(12:50):
I'm you know, I deserve it and I have the qualifications.
But so you're fighting it, but it's not in alignment
with your divine assignment. And so that's what kind of
got me to thinking about it. So I established it
in twenty seventeen and I was still active duty, so
I didn't do a whole lot with it. You know,
we did workshops, we did vision board parties. I believe
(13:12):
really highly in the power of manifestation, and so then
it wasn't until you know, twenty twenty when I had
my near death experience. Also, I launched a fragrance line
or company in twenty nineteen, So this was all before COVID,
and then when COVID came, you know, everything changed. And
then I had my near death experience and I had
(13:34):
to claw my way out of darkness. You know, two
hundred and fifty four pounds oral chemo, pregnant zone, you know,
doctors treating you like gaslighting it, you know, just different
you know, and competencies, you know when it comes to
(13:55):
cultural medical, you know, administration. And so I said, you
know what, maybe I was exposed to the holistic wellness
for a purpose. Maybe it wasn't just for other people. Maybe,
you know, God, the universe knew that something might have
come and I needed it, and so that's what I
(14:16):
tapped into. I tapped into it for myself and when
I had to ultimately retire, earlier than anticipated. I was
going to do, you know, thirty years, you know, maybe
go for a hot even higher rank, and God, you know,
the plans were just different. The plans were different from
my life, which I see that now, but I was
fighting God and so now it's a calling. Before it
(14:40):
was like, well, let me see, this is what I
really want to help people. But now when you go
through that fire, you know, and when you come out victorious,
you're like, Okay, I think I why did I go
through that? I think that was for a reason. So
now we're doing it to help others for real. Right,
It's just a calling. So that's that's really how it
(15:03):
got started.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I love that we just said something that gave me
to a stop fighting God. Let's talk about that for
a minute, because it needs to hear a little bit
more about that. Because I haven't been there. I have
fault God, especially with what I thought my purpose was
supposed to be. I ran for the longest time, and
(15:26):
then I'm so glad that even in my running and
got into my mess and allowing other people the wrong
people to love on me, I knew that God was
always there present, and yeah, we just have to we
have to stop fighting God. So let's talk about that,
the importance when it comes to your life and fulfilling
and tapping into your purpose, the importance of stop fighting God.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Yes, I will say, you know, through my whole experience
what I've been through the past four years with fighting God,
the biggest message that I got, and I think a
lot of other people within this timeframe, after before and
after COVID was the art of surrender. And I actually
got that tattooed on my arm, the art of surrender.
(16:13):
You know, we some people, including myself, have grown up
in situations where they said that's not gonna be me
when I grow up. I'm changing my circumstances. I'm gonna
do everything if I have to work three jobs, you know,
if I have to, you know, protect my heart and
(16:36):
protect myself from people who like the people who hurt
me as a child.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
You know.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
So you spend you spend this life with this mask
on and with this armor, and not necessarily the armor
of God, but like this, this protection, and that says
I'm going these are the check marks of the things
that I need to do to make sure that I'm
gonna do everything that I said I was gonna do
and I may even reach back to help the people
(17:04):
who've helped me, or help other disenfranchised people, you know,
to make sure that they're not in this situation. And
so because you feel like that calling is so big,
you're you're locked in this is this is my calling,
this is what But sometimes we're so because it's really
(17:26):
a matter of protecting ourselves. It's a defense mechanism. We
don't even know what our calling is at this point
because it's like, I'm not going back there. I'm not
gonna be that. And guess what where energy goes. Energy
flows there, right, You're gonna get more of it. So
when you say I'm gonna avoid that, you're gonna get
(17:49):
more of it. I'm gonna avoid men like this that
was like my dad, or like my abusive cousin or uncle.
You attract more of that because you're fighting it. And
so God says, well, let me align you and assign
you and give you help you figure out what your
assignment is. That's in alignment with what I the calling
(18:10):
and the gifts that I have on your life. Because
when you utilize the gifts that God gave you, your
gifts will make room for you baby, like nobody can
touch it. Nobody, no matter the challenges you go to,
nobody can stop that. But when it's not necessarily your
true divine calling, cause again we're checking off the box.
(18:33):
I'm gonna work myself to death. I'm gonna do this.
And so that's where I had to step back, because
it was like, no, I did all these years in
active duty, You not retire me before twenty years. I'm fighting,
and all along my health is getting worse and worse
and worse. And so of course I ended up, you know,
(18:54):
medically retiring, you know, after my twenty years of service.
But when I put up my hands and I look
to the heels my life i'm talking to I would
not be talking to you right now because I would
have been in uniform. I would have been doing these things. Yes,
So maybe I don't have all of the physical and
(19:15):
mental capabilities you know of just being able to run
circles around people. You know what I mean to do.
You know how we do ten things multitasking. You can't
tell us nothing. Well, I can't go at that speed anymore.
But maybe my story in my calling is going to
help somebody else get out of darkness who can't see
(19:37):
a way out. Oh wow, changes the game.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It does when you stop fighting God, it changes the
game because it sets you up for your destiny. I
think COVID was a blessing in disguise because it caused
us to slow down, to really tap into the things
that we were supposed to be doing. Absolutely, yeah, my
podcast because I'm always behind the scenes. I didn't want
(20:05):
to be seen in sad as a as a kid,
I hid under the bed because I didn't want to
be seen. And now I love it. I cannot see
my life without being without having this platform, I get
to meet people like yourself, and this has been an
awesome journey. And so we don't talk about love because
(20:26):
we could talk on and on and on about life,
and I want to talk about what I believe is
the best type of love, self love. Now I know
that you had some powerful self love to pall yourself. Listen,
I know my body is not right. Something is going on.
I understand what you're telling me, but I feel something
(20:50):
needs to be done. I need this test done. Yeah,
the importance of self love, let's talk about that.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Well, it's interesting that you said that, because it wasn't
self love I'm gonna tell you what. So when you
are running on fight or flight mode your entire life
to prove to people that you are the best, to
prove to yourself that you're the best, because you may
not have gotten love as a child, you know, and
(21:19):
that was me with my mom, you know, a very
abusive situation, a lot of mental abuse, physical abuse. I've
been sexually abused, and so you know, it's like you
put on this this avatar, you know, you put on
this cloak that says I'm this beast. I used to
(21:39):
call myself that. Honestly, it races our bodybuilt like you
couldn't tell me nothing. And so I don't believe that
that's particularly self love. I think that's seeking for self
love because no matter what you do, nothing excites you.
You're like, oh, I got I got the metal, I
(22:00):
just got this metal, I just got this PhD, I
just got all these stuff. I got this book. I
put my book out. And you're constantly searching for the
next thing to make yourself higher and higher and higher.
And so really you're more in your ego since as
far as that's concern. But guess what, So when I
(22:20):
had the near death experience, and I know a lot
of people can relate to this. You're questioning God, why me?
I'm the faithful Leader's servant. I've done everything for this country.
I've laid down my life for this country, you know,
or or what signed up to lay down my life?
And almost my life almost got taken away. Right, I've
(22:42):
done everything everything, but that was for you. That was
for meeting a need that could not be met in
that way. So if you don't meet that stuff spiritually,
so you're questioning God, like why mean? So you don't
feel connected to God. I think true self love is
(23:04):
when you are connected to God because then you know
that they're So if you are made in the image
and likeness of God, in the image and likeness of God,
that means I'm on that level. I'm not God, but
I have because most people will never see God, They're
(23:25):
gonna see you. So you're this representative of God. And
so when you see yourself in that image, because what
happens is and we see this, especially you know in
the suicidality department, feel so disconnected from God and I
feel so ashamed, and I feel like I have not
(23:45):
met my assignment that I should not be here. I
don't deserve to live. And God is saying you need
to see yourself in the spiritual realm, and not necessarily
because this is only a blip of our entire existence. Right,
the body's not gonna be here, but that does not
mean your spirit's not gonna be here. So when you
(24:07):
start to align with God in the spiritual realm, you
get messages earlier than you would have gotten them. You
notice when you start to be in alignment and you're like, no,
I met this person and you could tell right away
like yes or no, you know what I mean and
it's nothing bad. And so when you really self love
(24:31):
is when you decide that I am worthy enough to
see myself in the image and likeness of God. And
that's why I can hear from God. I can't hear
when I'm mad and I'm like, why are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Then?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Why I did everything?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Why me?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Why did I have kidney failure? But God's like, no,
I gave you all the resources you need to take
care of that. I gave you the people, I gave
you the resources, all this technology, But I need you
to be obedient to what I'm telling you to do.
And that's gonna change it. That's that's true self love.
Because I think everybody loves themselves, but to feel it
(25:11):
for real, you know, it's not just so I'm gonna
make myself pretty, I'm gonna get the best body products,
I'm gonna eat food. It has to be ingrained in
your spiritual being. And that's when you know you have
you know, we have a lot of sick people in
the church.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh yeah, So.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
It's not one thing. It's not just you know, my
mind is praying and saying I must you know, it
has to be everything. That's that's a whole part of you.
Are your finances aligned with what God has for you?
Is your health aligned with what God has for you?
That's true self love. And so if you're deficient, and
(25:52):
are your relationships, If you're deficient in any of those areas,
it's not that you don't love yourself. It's that you
aby needs some healing to figure out what it is
you know spiritually that you need to work on to
get yourself in alignment. And when you're in alignment, that's
true self love.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I love that. I love that. Oh my goodness, I
have to see my first right now, I have to
use that part as a clip or something, because that
right there, that was for me. That that was for
me because it's always it's always come with confirmation and
it lets me know that I am on the right track,
(26:34):
I am listening, I am being obedient, and I have that.
So that was just total confirmation for me. But we
don't talk about love and mental health because I know
you know are an advocates for mental health, and I
love talking about mental health because it's not talked about enough,
especial especially in our community. Yeah, so let's talk. Let's
(26:58):
talk about love. When it comes to your mental health,
you have to love yourself enough to know that it's
okay to not be okay. But the problem occurs when
you stay that way.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Honestly, I think that sometimes we don't know, we don't
have the awareness you ever. Again, if you've been on
a flight, fight or flight for so many years, you
know people or maybe we've even been part of that
where the minute you talk to somebody, you just sounds
(27:31):
like they're draining you. You know what I mean. They're
always talking about work, they're always talking about everybody else's issues,
and you know, we've all been in that space. You
know what I mean. And so sometimes it takes either
something to happen to you or someone who truly truly
(27:52):
loves you, who says, you know what, here's something that
I think you can you know, either work on or
you know something that I see that that is that
is holding you down from being the best, best version
of yourself. And you know, for me, I think you know,
because a lot of a lot of African American women
(28:15):
are single, you know, and you may date here or there,
or you know, you're like, no, that guy, I'm getting
rid of him. He didn't do it, or him or her,
they didn't do what I told him to do, you know.
And it wasn't until I got married and I met
my mirror. Because whoever you're with, you know, whether it
(28:37):
be a business partner, whether it be a love interest,
whether it be you know, somebody in your family who
you truly love and who's like a real mirror, feel comfortable.
It was like, Wow, I'm perfect? What's wrong with you?
You know what I mean? Like I'm great, I got
all of the accolades, I got all the degrees, I'm
(28:58):
making money. I got to what you I got the
credit score? What you mean I'm great. But everything that
I had been through in my experiences up till then
shaped me in my relationships, you know, with other people.
And when you're not you know, in a long term
intimate relationship, long time, you don't know you know what
(29:22):
I mean, You're just going to work, You're dealing with
the people at work. You're like, Okay, let's do this,
let's get it done. We gotta get it done. Nobody's
ever really able to get that close to you. And
so it wasn't until then where you know, my husband,
he was and I'm like, what's wrong with you? You know,
like questioning him, But because I love him, I'm like, well,
(29:42):
maybe I do need to think about this a little more,
you know, because I was so used to holding my
heart so close, even if I was in a relationship,
I wasn't really being truly open. And so I think
that was more of a door opening experience for me
when I actually and it doesn't stop like, oh yeah,
(30:03):
I learned this, I got it now. No, it is
a lifelong experience because you are constantly changing. You are
not the Kiki is not the same person she was yesterday.
She's a new person every single day. She's thinking about,
you know, and we may not be perfect, but every day.
So that's what I think as far as mental health
(30:26):
is concerned, is the awareness of it. If and even
if you don't have anyone who's gonna, you know, kind
of tap you on your shoulder because you're this strong
person and people think you're the you know what I mean,
it's like, don't ever talk, don't ever say anything to them.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Yeah, how is it.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Affecting your level of happiness and how you experience the world.
That's all you got to ask yourself is the way
I'm experiencing the world. So just say you're going to
nice restaurants every night and you're traveling the world and
on Instagram you look amazing. Everybody wants your life, but
(31:06):
you feel so lonely during those times where it's like
I wish I was in a relationship or I wish
I felt more comfortable with myself. You know, I have
to put on this front for everybody. That's when you know,
that's when you know there is something whether it's mental health,
spiritual health, physical health, whatever it is, that's when you know, Okay,
(31:31):
let me if it's the life that you want, then
so be it right. But if it's intrinsically not fulfilling,
then that's when you know, Okay, I need to look
at something and just have you know, somebody to help
you figure that out. You know, whether it be a
(31:51):
mental health provider, it could be a clergy person. You know,
it doesn't have to be prescriptive. Again, everybody's prescription is
not the same. Maybe you're going to go to a
prayer warrior maybe, you know, because I believe everybody has
spiritual gifts. It talks about that in the Bible.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
We do.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
It's just that this world and the way we experience
it does not want us to feed into those spiritual
gifts because then people wouldn't be able to control our spending,
to control the way we eat, to control everything that
we do. And so they don't want you to be
aware of that. And so that's why a lot of
the mindlessness on the scrolling, the mindlessness and watching TV.
(32:31):
You know, when I grew up and I don't want
to date myself, there were only a couple of cop shows.
It was Chips, it was lul and Order wasn't even
out then, you know what I mean? Like that, now
we Miamivice Miamivice, Miami mice chips, you know, Dukes and Hazard,
(32:56):
maybe you Manumi Magnum Pi. But now it's this. All
you see is darkness. I didn't remember seeing that much
show that many shows that portray so much darkness in
the world, right, and many of us didn't have cables,
So it wasn't until we went to Grandma's house, you know,
(33:17):
and she ain't watched She's not watching any of that stuff.
She's watching Bobby Jones Gospel.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
Okay, yeah, the days I would give anything to have
that moment back and just having Bobby Jones Gospel.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And all that.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
But the world is so different, and so that you know,
marrying yourself up with where you want to be, figuring out,
you know, spiritually, how to get there, you want to
be in alignment, and it shouldn't it shouldn't hurt you
to get there. So you shouldn't be giving up parts
of yourself to get there. And so whatever that means.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I love that you should not be giving up parts
of yourself to get there. Nobody needed to hear that.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yeah, we all need it, we need it, we need it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, we're gonna talk about all that other stuff and
talk about the book.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah, yes, ma'am. That's that's a labor of love. You know,
it's coming out the beginning of next month, and you know,
it's so funny. I wanted to talk about this because
we tell everybody that should write their story, right, and
(34:39):
it is. I think it's very important to document, you know,
something that is going to help bring a positive impact
into this into this world and allow other people to
be free, you know, with hearing your story and what
you use to get there. But one of the things
is when you start to go deep. So this is
a teaching memoir. Are about my near death experience. It
(35:03):
does talk about, you know, my history and where I've
come and how I've used my spiritual gifts to basically overcome,
you know, the situation and to come out victorious better
than I ever would it would have been, you know.
And that's that's the belief that you have to have,
even if you're not there yet. That is the belief
(35:24):
that is the words. You are sowing these words, but
no one tells you about the trauma of reliving all
of those experiences when you go deep into doing a memoir.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
It's a memoir in January, so I get it.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
It's like you are being put in a movie where
you are the star role, going back into character of
that that damaged or hurt or traumatized child or or
traumatized active duty member or veteran or whoever you are
(36:05):
who have experienced these disparag disparities, and you're going back in.
Oh my goodness, you know, and you start to experience
what you experienced before, the health, the mental, the physiological responses.
It's like you were there again. Literally literally I had
(36:31):
lost seventy pounds and when I was in the thick
of some of the dark places, I gained ten more pounds.
I started going back up. So what I would advise is,
and again I pray, this book is something that inspires
so many people. People are in darkness who are still
(36:51):
overcoming some of that stuff and releasing some of those
layers of trauma that they've had or challenges. I'm gonna
tell you what I pray. This book is a labor
of love for people who truly need it. But I
believe every second of it was worth it. But I
would advise you to have somebody that is a guide
(37:14):
or a coach, and that's what I you know, really
help women do. I do coaching as well, you know,
and so I believe that having someone to walk with
you down that path and to guide you and to
have your spiritual practices and your holistic practic health practices
(37:35):
and wellness practices available to you as you are going
down that road. So I'm just excited for the world
to really hear my story. And you wouldn't think, you know,
you think, oh, well, that person's a high ranking person.
That wouldn't happen to them.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Life happens.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
It happens to everybody you know, and so you can
know that there is support, there is help available to you.
But really knowing that when you rely on that internal
you know, nudging, you know that that is gonna reveal
(38:18):
some things to you. And sometimes when you ask for guidance,
sometimes the answer is not what you expect. So just
being obedient to that and being open to that. If
God said lead that relationship, leave that job, leave this country.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Be obedient, be obedient. And the thing about obedience for me,
I've always been obedient, but then I would pull back
a little bit, yeah, because I'm like, Okay, I only
have ten dollars in the bank and you're telling me
to give all ten to this offering. What I'm gonna
do for gas or food or whatever. Yeah, And so
(38:58):
when I realized that I don't won't for anything because
God got me, Why wouldn't I give? If I if
he tells me to give.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Why not gives? You're gonna get it tenfold?
Speaker 2 (39:12):
You always do, always always. My sister and I prayed
a prayer over ourselves and our family about five or
six years ago, and it was finances because we remember
our dad always saying, well, I'm broke, I don't have
any money. I need business, And I'm like, you gotta
be careful with your words because they can trickle down
(39:34):
on your offspring or everybody that's connected to you if
you're not careful. Careful, y'all, we play prosperity and abundance
over our family. And when I say, God has been
blowing our minds like the power of prayer. If y'all
don't know how to tap into it, man, I suggest
that y'all just just start talking to God like he
(39:54):
would talk to a friend.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
All day every day like I I have. You know,
it could be a prayer, it could be a saying,
it could be a mantra. That you have for the day.
So I, you know, continuously say you know, God, I
am open to all the miracles that you have for
me today. And so when something happens and I or
I get triggered or something, it's like, oh no, I
(40:19):
can turn it right back on and I'm speaking directly
to God. I don't need an intermediate person. You know,
that's gonna do it on my behalf.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Now.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
You now, sometimes you do need those prayer words. It
was like, oh, but no, you have access right now,
right here, twenty four hours a day. And again, when
you don't feel it spiritually and you're just praying, continue
to do it. The spiritual will aligned. Yes, it's the
pain that is holding it down. You know, it's the traumas,
(40:50):
some things that need to be released. I got it.
But keep doing it, keep going there and you will hear.
You will get revelations. You will turn on. You will
open a book, you will open an email, you will
open social media and something will be there exactly what
you needed. You will meet somebody on the street, you'll
(41:10):
meet somebody at the grocery store, or somebody will say
something to you that that's really unexpected, and you'll be like,
how did you know I needed to hear it? You
don't even know me from a can of paign. How
would you know that I needed to hear that. So
that's how it always comes. And you're right, You're like,
I only got ten dollars and God told me to
(41:32):
put this, give this ten dollars away or put it
in the offer. And you're like, Okay, I'm gonna just
give six because I do need something. Let me go
get a couple of packs a round it, you know
what I mean, whatever I need to get this money
by And you're like no, and then you leave there
and you get you get a check in the mail. Yeah,
you know from I don't know if you you know,
(41:52):
from some of these bank accounts or from like your
credit card companies. They have money and especially for some
of the veteran you know, institutions, they have this money
and this fun and at the end of the year,
you know, I don't know what it is called. Please
don't you know quote me on that, but you'll get
a You'll get a check in the mail for one
(42:13):
hundred and thirteen dollars. You know, stuff like.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yes, stuff like that, like unexpected lessons like yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
It's just so oh oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Yeah, you just have to be obedient.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Man.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Listen, this has been a great episode. So tell the
listeners how they can connect with you if they want
to work with you as far as with the coaching,
holistic us like that.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Yes, and so thank you again, you know, to your listeners,
everybody who's on here today, and you know, I just want,
you know, everybody, especially worldwide in this country to just
really pray for each other. We want unity to be incited.
And so you can reach me on most platforms Instagram, Malaysia, Hhral,
(43:02):
I'm on LinkedIn Malaysia, Heral. I'm on TikTok. I haven't
mastered TikTok yet. And I do work. I do do coaching,
and I coach women specifically and mostly women who are
high achieving, women who are successful but they're not necessarily
have soul fulfillment or significance real like divine significance. And
(43:27):
so that's what I help people do. And also for
people who are transforming themselves. If you have gone through
you know, any type of medical conditions, you know, I
work as a holistic wellness coach to help get you
where you need to be. And a lot of people
are just continuously transforming their lives to meet all of
(43:49):
their goals, all of their wellness goals, and I love
doing it. And also I do have a website www
dot malaysiahral dot com. I do do key speaking engagements.
So if you'd like to, you know, have me come
to one of your workshops or one of your conferences.
I'm just so excited to meet with all of you.
(44:11):
And you know also with podcasts, interviews and magazines, so
you know, I just love to inspire. And I feel
like if you have been given a second chance, and
you have been given the gift of life, which is
not promised to any of us at any time, use
it for the good of all people. So if you
can really be in alignment with your divine assignment and
(44:34):
use your gifts for the good of others, you will
be blessed magnificently because you are going to bless the
lives of others. And so if you are a person
who has been struggling yourself and you realize you haven't been,
you know, walking in your divine calling, this is the time,
this is the time, and you are going to see
(44:56):
how you heal as you're working to to support the
greater good of all humans.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
So I love it absolutely. Listen, y'all. I don't have
anything else to say after that, you know, thank you
Malasias again for coming to Kicking with Me. It has
been a pleasure. I say this all the time. I
always have that one episode that has become my favorite,
and this is it. Oh, thank you so serious.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
It's a blessing to me. Honestly, you are truly a blessing,
and you know, I just can't wait to see the
more magnificent things that you're going to do in this world.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
So thank you, Thank you. I receive it. I receive it,
and I thank you so much. Thank you listeners for
tuning in to another episode of Kicking It with Kiki.
I am back every Thursday at noon with a new episode,
so y'all make sure y'all tune in on all major
podcast platforms. You know, I'm not doing video this this season,
(45:58):
but we'll be back. I got some things in the words,
but thanks again. Until next time, make sure that you
love yourself enough to pay attention to yourself, make sacrifices
for yourself, and tap into the best version of yourself
because you are here for a reason. Make sure that
you love yourself enough to love somebody else, or teach
them how you're supposed to be loved. Okay, sometimes they
(46:19):
need a love blueprint or something to tap into how
to love you the way that you are supposed to
be loved, So thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Begin it with
Welcome to Kicking In with Kiki. Kicking it you, Ki, Ki,
kicking it the ki key for a.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Little personality, switching up the storyline on God we making
this story.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
And hooks changing fris one day at the time. Much
problems to the side.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Enjoy yourself, free.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Your mind, kicking it the ki kee.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Hello, Hello, Hello, and thank you for tuning in to
another episode of Kicking It with Kiki, Life, love and
all that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel,
award winning author, mindset coach and owner of nineteen lifestyle magazine.
Today I I am joined with a new guest. Y'all.
We are in season seven and each guest gets better
(01:05):
and better and better. And you guys know how I
like to do. I like to give my guest the
opportunity to introduce themselves.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Hi, Welcome, Thank you Kiki for having me. I'm so
honored to be here today.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Listen, the honor is all mine because I'm gonna let
her tell y'all what she does. I love the resume,
so go ahead and tell the people who you are.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you well, Thank you again, and to all your listeners.
Good day to all of you. My name is Malaysia
heral and I am a newly minted veteran. I am
a spiritual transformation coach and author and a keynote speaker
(01:49):
along with a you know, doing coaching and being a
business owner for holistic wellness services called Blissful Life Consulting.
So again, I'm just so honored for this opportunity today.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Absolutely, well, thank you for joining us. We don't dive
right in. We talk about life, love and all the
other stuff. Right, so we are to jumping a little
bit about life now. I know you just mentioned that
you were into holistic wellness. Yes, let's speak a little
bit about that, because I love that. I love that.
I really don't like taking medications and things like that,
(02:24):
So if I'm able to do it naturally holistically, I'm
all for that. So what what do you believe we
as a people, because this platform is for us by us,
need to do to make sure that we are not
just taking the word of the doctors and taking all
of this medication, but doing something that we can benefit
(02:46):
from in our wellness.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Yeah, that is such an excellent question because the biggest
thing that we have been given as a gift is intuition, right,
and so you know, we can look at all the
things that are available, we can listen to everything that
everyone is telling us. But we've all been in a
(03:10):
situation where we've gone to a professional, whether it was
a medical professional, or something with your car, something with
your whatever it was, or a job, you know, and
somebody told you something, but your spirit was like, no,
I think there's more to it, right, And so you
know about your body and your health, even though you
(03:34):
may not want to consciously admit it, but intuitively you know.
So you notice it's like, oh, I get headaches all
the time or this or that, and it's like, no,
but this time is different. This time I can't really
pinpoint it, but my spirit is telling me that something
is different. So I think the biggest thing is honoring
(03:58):
those spiritual gifts that we do have. We talked about,
you know, your this platform is talks a lot about spirituality,
but honoring that If you feel like something is different
or not, you know, just just not the way you
think it should be, or it's not in alignment with
what your spiritual sense is telling you, then you know,
(04:20):
get a second opinion. And also, you know, so I'm
a bit very big on spiritual transformation, and we'll talk
about my story. So I think that also the biggest
thing is knowing that no matter what resources are available, no,
they're there to treat these symptoms and they are not
(04:41):
there to heal you. So even if you're working with
your team, there needs to be some sort of synergy
and there need to be a collaborative effort. So if
they're giving it, you know, if you have something very serious,
obviously you're gonna need something to take care of it,
to get it out of your b But what are
you doing on the other side of that to compliment what?
(05:05):
So for instance, you know, I had a near death
experience several years ago in twenty twenty after deployment, and
I had a septic hip. Now, the hospital tried to
send me home because they didn't believe me. They sent
them a psychiatrist, but my spirit told me that I
was transitioning, I was having a near death experience, and
I had to advocate for myself. But in saying that,
(05:28):
guess what, there weren't a lot of healthy options at
the hospital. So I mean, you could get a salad.
Nobody's eating salad all day, and you think you're dying anyway,
You're like, this isn't gonna be my last meal, you
know what I mean? And so I mean they have
a cup day mostly of pizzas, burgers, fries. That's mostly
what you're getting. You may get some jello, you may.
(05:51):
So I worked with my husband. I made some phone
calls to a actually I ended up meeting a health coach,
but I called and ordered some juice. So they made
some blended juice blends for me that were specifically gonna
address my issues, and my husband picked them up and
bring them to me. So again, it is a collaborative effort.
(06:15):
What is your mind thinking about, what is your spirit
thinking about? Are who are the people around you that
are telling you these things? So if people are saying, oh,
you got this diagnosis, well, Aunt Susie died of that,
you know what I mean? Like, no, No, you need
people around you who are gonna give you that confirmation,
that healing, that prayer that says that you know, we
(06:38):
can be healed and we can heal ourselves and you can.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Absolutely. I'm glad that you say that about juicing because
I started juicing like maybe four years ago, and it
took me down the best healing journey of your life.
I had to go back to my inner child, and
I realized that I was holding on to pain that
(07:03):
I shouldn't have been holding on to. I thought that
when my paternal grandmother passed that she took all the
love that I was supposed to have with her. And
so when I went back to that childhood, I realized
that wherever my mind took me, that five year old
Kiki took me. I allowed myself to be open and
free and see those things that she was telling them.
(07:25):
And I realized that everybody in my life was giving
me love. So when my grandmother passed, I wasn't just
left out there thinking that I wasn't worthy or whatever.
So yes, at juicing and having this spiritual intuition and
a prayer life and a personal relationship with God. Absolutely
surrounding yourself with people who who see you and hear you,
(07:48):
that makes a big difference, especially when it yes when
it comes to like healing. Because I was diagnosed two
years ago with stage three kidney disease. I went in
a couple of months ago for my my you know,
regular check up or whatever, and my spiritual mom and
I prayed and she was like, it's already done. You
(08:09):
just have to believe that that mountain is done. So
all of my numbers came back.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Great, Amen, and you do you you did something about it, right.
You didn't say, Okay, I'm just gonna pray and God's
just gonna send a prayer.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
No, no, no, had to make change.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
God is gonna give you the tools, but you that's
gonna do it. God's going, oh, I'm just gonna pray
and I'm gonna be No. You did what you needed
to do, and God, you listen to God to hear
what it is you should do. Because everybody's different. And
so if one person is juicing, one person is doing
more of a plant base. But some people may need
(08:47):
meet for certain things. Go with what God is telling
you because everybody's prescription is different.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Oh, everybody's prescription is different. I actually started eating for
my blood type and I know.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Yeah, and I know eat me.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I don't miss it. And I'm thankful because had I
had you know how you like you was just talking about,
you have to tap into yourself and realize that something
is not wrong. So every time I'm eating this chicken,
my stomach starts to hurt and blow and I feel horrible.
I keep putting this inside myself.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Absolutely, I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
It's a sacrifice, but it's the best sacrifice I've made
in my life. So yeah, I could for you, and
I'm glad that you're talking about this. So let's talk
about Less for Life consultant. How did that come about?
Speaker 4 (09:38):
Well, in twenty seventeen, I actually founded the company. You
know again, I'm this was before you know, I made
my highest rank for active duty service, and it was like, well,
you know, I was trying to figure out like what
my life was going to be. And also, you know,
(09:58):
I've been doing mental health. I'm a say therapists, so
I've been doing mental health therapy for a long time.
And what I found was that when people only did
talk therapy and they only were tapping into the conscious
level because you talked about your inner child, that's it.
(10:18):
That's There are things that have happened, probably even in
your DNA before you were born, that came from your
family and their DNA that really put you on this
potential cycle depending on how you live your lifestyle, and
so as you grew there were things that were ingrained
in you, different things we might not be aware of
(10:40):
them might be some traumas we're holding on too. And
there's a book that that's called The Body Keeps the Score,
and I think that's a very it's not a like
a fun read. And I actually went to the gentleman Vanderkoff.
I think I went to his seminar as well. Ok So,
(11:00):
our bodies are a mechanism that tell us, you know,
what is intrinsically going on, but it's really also in
the spiritual and the subconscious level. And so again you
might be doing talk therapy, which I was doing with
my clients with mostly active duty members, you know, and
their family veterans, and they would keep coming back with
(11:23):
the same things. So it would be like, Okay, I
got this supervisor from h you know what I mean,
Like they're putting me through the dirt. And then you
move jobs and you have the same interaction, or you're
in a relationship with a partner and you getting another
one the same. It's like you're on this this wheel,
you know what I mean, You're like on this Gerbil
(11:45):
wheel and you're just like running in place. And it's
because there are things, there are subconscious issues that have
not been resolved and they could be when you think
about subconscious level, you think about how that ingrains in
your DNA, how it ingrains in your body, because that's
what's responding to all of it. And so if you
(12:07):
I realized, Okay, what can we do to really look
at this on a more holistic level. And so and
also the military was going towards that, they were starting
to introduce meditation, they were starting to introduce so I
was like, you know what, I want to look at
someone more holistically, you know, and so we did, you know,
ask about nutrition, We asked about all those things from
(12:30):
the biosycle social perspective, but it's more to it. It's
a lot more to it. And so because again it's everything.
It's what you're watching, it's who you're with, it's the
energy that you surround yourself with. So sometimes we keep
ourselves in environments that we know we shouldn't be in.
But it's like I'm going to prove a point because
(12:50):
I'm you know, I deserve it and I have the qualifications.
But so you're fighting it, but it's not in alignment
with your divine assignment. And so that's what kind of
got me to thinking about it. So I established it
in twenty seventeen and I was still active duty, so
I didn't do a whole lot with it. You know,
we did workshops, we did vision board parties. I believe
(13:12):
really highly in the power of manifestation, and so then
it wasn't until you know, twenty twenty when I had
my near death experience. Also, I launched a fragrance line
or company in twenty nineteen, So this was all before COVID,
and then when COVID came, you know, everything changed. And
then I had my near death experience and I had
(13:34):
to claw my way out of darkness. You know, two
hundred and fifty four pounds oral chemo, pregnant zone, you know,
doctors treating you like gaslighting it, you know, just different
you know, and competencies, you know when it comes to
(13:55):
cultural medical, you know, administration. And so I said, you
know what, maybe I was exposed to the holistic wellness
for a purpose. Maybe it wasn't just for other people. Maybe,
you know, God, the universe knew that something might have
come and I needed it, and so that's what I
(14:16):
tapped into. I tapped into it for myself and when
I had to ultimately retire, earlier than anticipated. I was
going to do, you know, thirty years, you know, maybe
go for a hot even higher rank, and God, you know,
the plans were just different. The plans were different from
my life, which I see that now, but I was
fighting God and so now it's a calling. Before it
(14:40):
was like, well, let me see, this is what I
really want to help people. But now when you go
through that fire, you know, and when you come out victorious,
you're like, Okay, I think I why did I go
through that? I think that was for a reason. So
now we're doing it to help others for real. Right,
It's just a calling. So that's that's really how it
(15:03):
got started.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I love that we just said something that gave me
to a stop fighting God. Let's talk about that for
a minute, because it needs to hear a little bit
more about that. Because I haven't been there. I have
fault God, especially with what I thought my purpose was
supposed to be. I ran for the longest time, and
(15:26):
then I'm so glad that even in my running and
got into my mess and allowing other people the wrong
people to love on me, I knew that God was
always there present, and yeah, we just have to we
have to stop fighting God. So let's talk about that,
the importance when it comes to your life and fulfilling
and tapping into your purpose, the importance of stop fighting God.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Yes, I will say, you know, through my whole experience
what I've been through the past four years with fighting God,
the biggest message that I got, and I think a
lot of other people within this timeframe, after before and
after COVID was the art of surrender. And I actually
got that tattooed on my arm, the art of surrender.
(16:13):
You know, we some people, including myself, have grown up
in situations where they said that's not gonna be me
when I grow up. I'm changing my circumstances. I'm gonna
do everything if I have to work three jobs, you know,
if I have to, you know, protect my heart and
(16:36):
protect myself from people who like the people who hurt
me as a child.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
You know.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
So you spend you spend this life with this mask
on and with this armor, and not necessarily the armor
of God, but like this, this protection, and that says
I'm going these are the check marks of the things
that I need to do to make sure that I'm
gonna do everything that I said I was gonna do
and I may even reach back to help the people
(17:04):
who've helped me, or help other disenfranchised people, you know,
to make sure that they're not in this situation. And
so because you feel like that calling is so big,
you're you're locked in this is this is my calling,
this is what But sometimes we're so because it's really
(17:26):
a matter of protecting ourselves. It's a defense mechanism. We
don't even know what our calling is at this point
because it's like, I'm not going back there. I'm not
gonna be that. And guess what where energy goes. Energy
flows there, right, You're gonna get more of it. So
when you say I'm gonna avoid that, you're gonna get
(17:49):
more of it. I'm gonna avoid men like this that
was like my dad, or like my abusive cousin or uncle.
You attract more of that because you're fighting it. And
so God says, well, let me align you and assign
you and give you help you figure out what your
assignment is. That's in alignment with what I the calling
(18:10):
and the gifts that I have on your life. Because
when you utilize the gifts that God gave you, your
gifts will make room for you baby, like nobody can
touch it. Nobody, no matter the challenges you go to,
nobody can stop that. But when it's not necessarily your
true divine calling, cause again we're checking off the box.
(18:33):
I'm gonna work myself to death. I'm gonna do this.
And so that's where I had to step back, because
it was like, no, I did all these years in
active duty, You not retire me before twenty years. I'm fighting,
and all along my health is getting worse and worse
and worse. And so of course I ended up, you know,
(18:54):
medically retiring, you know, after my twenty years of service.
But when I put up my hands and I look
to the heels my life i'm talking to I would
not be talking to you right now because I would
have been in uniform. I would have been doing these things. Yes,
So maybe I don't have all of the physical and
(19:15):
mental capabilities you know of just being able to run
circles around people. You know what I mean to do.
You know how we do ten things multitasking. You can't
tell us nothing. Well, I can't go at that speed anymore.
But maybe my story in my calling is going to
help somebody else get out of darkness who can't see
(19:37):
a way out. Oh wow, changes the game.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It does when you stop fighting God, it changes the
game because it sets you up for your destiny. I
think COVID was a blessing in disguise because it caused
us to slow down, to really tap into the things
that we were supposed to be doing. Absolutely, yeah, my
podcast because I'm always behind the scenes. I didn't want
(20:05):
to be seen in sad as a as a kid,
I hid under the bed because I didn't want to
be seen. And now I love it. I cannot see
my life without being without having this platform, I get
to meet people like yourself, and this has been an
awesome journey. And so we don't talk about love because
(20:26):
we could talk on and on and on about life,
and I want to talk about what I believe is
the best type of love, self love. Now I know
that you had some powerful self love to pall yourself. Listen,
I know my body is not right. Something is going on.
I understand what you're telling me, but I feel something
(20:50):
needs to be done. I need this test done. Yeah,
the importance of self love, let's talk about that.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
Well, it's interesting that you said that, because it wasn't
self love I'm gonna tell you what. So when you
are running on fight or flight mode your entire life
to prove to people that you are the best, to
prove to yourself that you're the best, because you may
not have gotten love as a child, you know, and
(21:19):
that was me with my mom, you know, a very
abusive situation, a lot of mental abuse, physical abuse. I've
been sexually abused, and so you know, it's like you
put on this this avatar, you know, you put on
this cloak that says I'm this beast. I used to
(21:39):
call myself that. Honestly, it races our bodybuilt like you
couldn't tell me nothing. And so I don't believe that
that's particularly self love. I think that's seeking for self
love because no matter what you do, nothing excites you.
You're like, oh, I got I got the metal, I
(22:00):
just got this metal, I just got this PhD, I
just got all these stuff. I got this book. I
put my book out. And you're constantly searching for the
next thing to make yourself higher and higher and higher.
And so really you're more in your ego since as
far as that's concern. But guess what, So when I
(22:20):
had the near death experience, and I know a lot
of people can relate to this. You're questioning God, why me?
I'm the faithful Leader's servant. I've done everything for this country.
I've laid down my life for this country, you know,
or or what signed up to lay down my life?
And almost my life almost got taken away. Right, I've
(22:42):
done everything everything, but that was for you. That was
for meeting a need that could not be met in
that way. So if you don't meet that stuff spiritually,
so you're questioning God, like why mean? So you don't
feel connected to God. I think true self love is
(23:04):
when you are connected to God because then you know
that they're So if you are made in the image
and likeness of God, in the image and likeness of God,
that means I'm on that level. I'm not God, but
I have because most people will never see God, They're
(23:25):
gonna see you. So you're this representative of God. And
so when you see yourself in that image, because what
happens is and we see this, especially you know in
the suicidality department, feel so disconnected from God and I
feel so ashamed, and I feel like I have not
(23:45):
met my assignment that I should not be here. I
don't deserve to live. And God is saying you need
to see yourself in the spiritual realm, and not necessarily
because this is only a blip of our entire existence. Right,
the body's not gonna be here, but that does not
mean your spirit's not gonna be here. So when you
(24:07):
start to align with God in the spiritual realm, you
get messages earlier than you would have gotten them. You
notice when you start to be in alignment and you're like, no,
I met this person and you could tell right away
like yes or no, you know what I mean and
it's nothing bad. And so when you really self love
(24:31):
is when you decide that I am worthy enough to
see myself in the image and likeness of God. And
that's why I can hear from God. I can't hear
when I'm mad and I'm like, why are you doing this?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Then?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
Why I did everything?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Why me?
Speaker 4 (24:49):
Why did I have kidney failure? But God's like, no,
I gave you all the resources you need to take
care of that. I gave you the people, I gave
you the resources, all this technology, But I need you
to be obedient to what I'm telling you to do.
And that's gonna change it. That's that's true self love.
Because I think everybody loves themselves, but to feel it
(25:11):
for real, you know, it's not just so I'm gonna
make myself pretty, I'm gonna get the best body products,
I'm gonna eat food. It has to be ingrained in
your spiritual being. And that's when you know you have
you know, we have a lot of sick people in
the church.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Oh yeah, So.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
It's not one thing. It's not just you know, my
mind is praying and saying I must you know, it
has to be everything. That's that's a whole part of you.
Are your finances aligned with what God has for you?
Is your health aligned with what God has for you?
That's true self love. And so if you're deficient, and
(25:52):
are your relationships, If you're deficient in any of those areas,
it's not that you don't love yourself. It's that you
aby needs some healing to figure out what it is
you know spiritually that you need to work on to
get yourself in alignment. And when you're in alignment, that's
true self love.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I love that. I love that. Oh my goodness, I
have to see my first right now, I have to
use that part as a clip or something, because that
right there, that was for me. That that was for
me because it's always it's always come with confirmation and
it lets me know that I am on the right track,
(26:34):
I am listening, I am being obedient, and I have that.
So that was just total confirmation for me. But we
don't talk about love and mental health because I know
you know are an advocates for mental health, and I
love talking about mental health because it's not talked about enough,
especial especially in our community. Yeah, so let's talk. Let's
(26:58):
talk about love. When it comes to your mental health,
you have to love yourself enough to know that it's
okay to not be okay. But the problem occurs when
you stay that way.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
Honestly, I think that sometimes we don't know, we don't
have the awareness you ever. Again, if you've been on
a flight, fight or flight for so many years, you
know people or maybe we've even been part of that
where the minute you talk to somebody, you just sounds
(27:31):
like they're draining you. You know what I mean. They're
always talking about work, they're always talking about everybody else's issues,
and you know, we've all been in that space. You
know what I mean. And so sometimes it takes either
something to happen to you or someone who truly truly
(27:52):
loves you, who says, you know what, here's something that
I think you can you know, either work on or
you know something that I see that that is that
is holding you down from being the best, best version
of yourself. And you know, for me, I think you know,
because a lot of a lot of African American women
(28:15):
are single, you know, and you may date here or there,
or you know, you're like, no, that guy, I'm getting
rid of him. He didn't do it, or him or her,
they didn't do what I told him to do, you know.
And it wasn't until I got married and I met
my mirror. Because whoever you're with, you know, whether it
(28:37):
be a business partner, whether it be a love interest,
whether it be you know, somebody in your family who
you truly love and who's like a real mirror, feel comfortable.
It was like, Wow, I'm perfect? What's wrong with you?
You know what I mean? Like I'm great, I got
all of the accolades, I got all the degrees, I'm
(28:58):
making money. I got to what you I got the
credit score? What you mean I'm great. But everything that
I had been through in my experiences up till then
shaped me in my relationships, you know, with other people.
And when you're not you know, in a long term
intimate relationship, long time, you don't know you know what
(29:22):
I mean, You're just going to work, You're dealing with
the people at work. You're like, Okay, let's do this,
let's get it done. We gotta get it done. Nobody's
ever really able to get that close to you. And
so it wasn't until then where you know, my husband,
he was and I'm like, what's wrong with you? You know,
like questioning him, But because I love him, I'm like, well,
(29:42):
maybe I do need to think about this a little more,
you know, because I was so used to holding my
heart so close, even if I was in a relationship,
I wasn't really being truly open. And so I think
that was more of a door opening experience for me
when I actually and it doesn't stop like, oh yeah,
(30:03):
I learned this, I got it now. No, it is
a lifelong experience because you are constantly changing. You are
not the Kiki is not the same person she was yesterday.
She's a new person every single day. She's thinking about,
you know, and we may not be perfect, but every day.
So that's what I think as far as mental health
(30:26):
is concerned, is the awareness of it. If and even
if you don't have anyone who's gonna, you know, kind
of tap you on your shoulder because you're this strong
person and people think you're the you know what I mean,
it's like, don't ever talk, don't ever say anything to them.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Yeah, how is it.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Affecting your level of happiness and how you experience the world.
That's all you got to ask yourself is the way
I'm experiencing the world. So just say you're going to
nice restaurants every night and you're traveling the world and
on Instagram you look amazing. Everybody wants your life, but
(31:06):
you feel so lonely during those times where it's like
I wish I was in a relationship or I wish
I felt more comfortable with myself. You know, I have
to put on this front for everybody. That's when you know,
that's when you know there is something whether it's mental health,
spiritual health, physical health, whatever it is, that's when you know, Okay,
(31:31):
let me if it's the life that you want, then
so be it right. But if it's intrinsically not fulfilling,
then that's when you know, Okay, I need to look
at something and just have you know, somebody to help
you figure that out. You know, whether it be a
(31:51):
mental health provider, it could be a clergy person. You know,
it doesn't have to be prescriptive. Again, everybody's prescription is
not the same. Maybe you're going to go to a
prayer warrior maybe, you know, because I believe everybody has
spiritual gifts. It talks about that in the Bible.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
We do.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
It's just that this world and the way we experience
it does not want us to feed into those spiritual
gifts because then people wouldn't be able to control our spending,
to control the way we eat, to control everything that
we do. And so they don't want you to be
aware of that. And so that's why a lot of
the mindlessness on the scrolling, the mindlessness and watching TV.
(32:31):
You know, when I grew up and I don't want
to date myself, there were only a couple of cop shows.
It was Chips, it was lul and Order wasn't even
out then, you know what I mean? Like that, now
we Miamivice Miamivice, Miami mice chips, you know, Dukes and Hazard,
(32:56):
maybe you Manumi Magnum Pi. But now it's this. All
you see is darkness. I didn't remember seeing that much
show that many shows that portray so much darkness in
the world, right, and many of us didn't have cables,
So it wasn't until we went to Grandma's house, you know,
(33:17):
and she ain't watched She's not watching any of that stuff.
She's watching Bobby Jones Gospel.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
Okay, yeah, the days I would give anything to have
that moment back and just having Bobby Jones Gospel.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
And all that.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
But the world is so different, and so that you know,
marrying yourself up with where you want to be, figuring out,
you know, spiritually, how to get there, you want to
be in alignment, and it shouldn't it shouldn't hurt you
to get there. So you shouldn't be giving up parts
of yourself to get there. And so whatever that means.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
I love that you should not be giving up parts
of yourself to get there. Nobody needed to hear that.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yeah, we all need it, we need it, we need it.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, we're gonna talk about all that other stuff and
talk about the book.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Yeah, yes, ma'am. That's that's a labor of love. You know,
it's coming out the beginning of next month, and you know,
it's so funny. I wanted to talk about this because
we tell everybody that should write their story, right, and
(34:39):
it is. I think it's very important to document, you know,
something that is going to help bring a positive impact
into this into this world and allow other people to
be free, you know, with hearing your story and what
you use to get there. But one of the things
is when you start to go deep. So this is
a teaching memoir. Are about my near death experience. It
(35:03):
does talk about, you know, my history and where I've
come and how I've used my spiritual gifts to basically overcome,
you know, the situation and to come out victorious better
than I ever would it would have been, you know.
And that's that's the belief that you have to have,
even if you're not there yet. That is the belief
(35:24):
that is the words. You are sowing these words, but
no one tells you about the trauma of reliving all
of those experiences when you go deep into doing a memoir.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
It's a memoir in January, so I get it.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
It's like you are being put in a movie where
you are the star role, going back into character of
that that damaged or hurt or traumatized child or or
traumatized active duty member or veteran or whoever you are
(36:05):
who have experienced these disparag disparities, and you're going back in.
Oh my goodness, you know, and you start to experience
what you experienced before, the health, the mental, the physiological responses.
It's like you were there again. Literally literally I had
(36:31):
lost seventy pounds and when I was in the thick
of some of the dark places, I gained ten more pounds.
I started going back up. So what I would advise is,
and again I pray, this book is something that inspires
so many people. People are in darkness who are still
(36:51):
overcoming some of that stuff and releasing some of those
layers of trauma that they've had or challenges. I'm gonna
tell you what I pray. This book is a labor
of love for people who truly need it. But I
believe every second of it was worth it. But I
would advise you to have somebody that is a guide
(37:14):
or a coach, and that's what I you know, really
help women do. I do coaching as well, you know,
and so I believe that having someone to walk with
you down that path and to guide you and to
have your spiritual practices and your holistic practic health practices
(37:35):
and wellness practices available to you as you are going
down that road. So I'm just excited for the world
to really hear my story. And you wouldn't think, you know,
you think, oh, well, that person's a high ranking person.
That wouldn't happen to them.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Life happens.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
It happens to everybody you know, and so you can
know that there is support, there is help available to you.
But really knowing that when you rely on that internal
you know, nudging, you know that that is gonna reveal
(38:18):
some things to you. And sometimes when you ask for guidance,
sometimes the answer is not what you expect. So just
being obedient to that and being open to that. If
God said lead that relationship, leave that job, leave this country.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Be obedient, be obedient. And the thing about obedience for me,
I've always been obedient, but then I would pull back
a little bit, yeah, because I'm like, Okay, I only
have ten dollars in the bank and you're telling me
to give all ten to this offering. What I'm gonna
do for gas or food or whatever. Yeah, And so
(38:58):
when I realized that I don't won't for anything because
God got me, Why wouldn't I give? If I if
he tells me to give.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Why not gives? You're gonna get it tenfold?
Speaker 2 (39:12):
You always do, always always. My sister and I prayed
a prayer over ourselves and our family about five or
six years ago, and it was finances because we remember
our dad always saying, well, I'm broke, I don't have
any money. I need business, And I'm like, you gotta
be careful with your words because they can trickle down
(39:34):
on your offspring or everybody that's connected to you if
you're not careful. Careful, y'all, we play prosperity and abundance
over our family. And when I say, God has been
blowing our minds like the power of prayer. If y'all
don't know how to tap into it, man, I suggest
that y'all just just start talking to God like he
(39:54):
would talk to a friend.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
All day every day like I I have. You know,
it could be a prayer, it could be a saying,
it could be a mantra. That you have for the day.
So I, you know, continuously say you know, God, I
am open to all the miracles that you have for
me today. And so when something happens and I or
I get triggered or something, it's like, oh no, I
(40:19):
can turn it right back on and I'm speaking directly
to God. I don't need an intermediate person. You know,
that's gonna do it on my behalf.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Now.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
You now, sometimes you do need those prayer words. It
was like, oh, but no, you have access right now,
right here, twenty four hours a day. And again, when
you don't feel it spiritually and you're just praying, continue
to do it. The spiritual will aligned. Yes, it's the
pain that is holding it down. You know, it's the traumas,
(40:50):
some things that need to be released. I got it.
But keep doing it, keep going there and you will hear.
You will get revelations. You will turn on. You will
open a book, you will open an email, you will
open social media and something will be there exactly what
you needed. You will meet somebody on the street, you'll
(41:10):
meet somebody at the grocery store, or somebody will say
something to you that that's really unexpected, and you'll be like,
how did you know I needed to hear it? You
don't even know me from a can of paign. How
would you know that I needed to hear that. So
that's how it always comes. And you're right, You're like,
I only got ten dollars and God told me to
(41:32):
put this, give this ten dollars away or put it
in the offer. And you're like, Okay, I'm gonna just
give six because I do need something. Let me go
get a couple of packs a round it, you know
what I mean, whatever I need to get this money
by And you're like no, and then you leave there
and you get you get a check in the mail. Yeah,
you know from I don't know if you you know,
(41:52):
from some of these bank accounts or from like your
credit card companies. They have money and especially for some
of the veteran you know, institutions, they have this money
and this fun and at the end of the year,
you know, I don't know what it is called. Please
don't you know quote me on that, but you'll get
a You'll get a check in the mail for one
(42:13):
hundred and thirteen dollars. You know, stuff like.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Yes, stuff like that, like unexpected lessons like yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
It's just so oh oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Yeah, you just have to be obedient.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Man.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Listen, this has been a great episode. So tell the
listeners how they can connect with you if they want
to work with you as far as with the coaching,
holistic us like that.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Yes, and so thank you again, you know, to your listeners,
everybody who's on here today, and you know, I just want,
you know, everybody, especially worldwide in this country to just
really pray for each other. We want unity to be incited.
And so you can reach me on most platforms Instagram, Malaysia, Hhral,
(43:02):
I'm on LinkedIn Malaysia, Heral. I'm on TikTok. I haven't
mastered TikTok yet. And I do work. I do do coaching,
and I coach women specifically and mostly women who are
high achieving, women who are successful but they're not necessarily
have soul fulfillment or significance real like divine significance. And
(43:27):
so that's what I help people do. And also for
people who are transforming themselves. If you have gone through
you know, any type of medical conditions, you know, I
work as a holistic wellness coach to help get you
where you need to be. And a lot of people
are just continuously transforming their lives to meet all of
(43:49):
their goals, all of their wellness goals, and I love
doing it. And also I do have a website www
dot malaysiahral dot com. I do do key speaking engagements.
So if you'd like to, you know, have me come
to one of your workshops or one of your conferences.
I'm just so excited to meet with all of you.
(44:11):
And you know also with podcasts, interviews and magazines, so
you know, I just love to inspire. And I feel
like if you have been given a second chance, and
you have been given the gift of life, which is
not promised to any of us at any time, use
it for the good of all people. So if you
can really be in alignment with your divine assignment and
(44:34):
use your gifts for the good of others, you will
be blessed magnificently because you are going to bless the
lives of others. And so if you are a person
who has been struggling yourself and you realize you haven't been,
you know, walking in your divine calling, this is the time,
this is the time, and you are going to see
(44:56):
how you heal as you're working to to support the
greater good of all humans.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
So I love it absolutely. Listen, y'all. I don't have
anything else to say after that, you know, thank you
Malasias again for coming to Kicking with Me. It has
been a pleasure. I say this all the time. I
always have that one episode that has become my favorite,
and this is it. Oh, thank you so serious.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
It's a blessing to me. Honestly, you are truly a blessing,
and you know, I just can't wait to see the
more magnificent things that you're going to do in this world.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
So thank you, Thank you. I receive it. I receive it,
and I thank you so much. Thank you listeners for
tuning in to another episode of Kicking It with Kiki.
I am back every Thursday at noon with a new episode,
so y'all make sure y'all tune in on all major
podcast platforms. You know, I'm not doing video this this season,
(45:58):
but we'll be back. I got some things in the words,
but thanks again. Until next time, make sure that you
love yourself enough to pay attention to yourself, make sacrifices
for yourself, and tap into the best version of yourself
because you are here for a reason. Make sure that
you love yourself enough to love somebody else, or teach
them how you're supposed to be loved. Okay, sometimes they
(46:19):
need a love blueprint or something to tap into how
to love you the way that you are supposed to
be loved, So thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Begin it with
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