February 6, 2025 • 50 mins
Today is the Season 8 Opener! I'm so excited to be back. I'm joined with the Founder of The Weekend Girl and Contributors to Blossom and Brunch, an organization to build and promoto positive sisterhood and community.
During this episode we discuss self-care, being open to new things, embracing those quality peaceful moments, work-life balance, and the upcoming event Blossom and Brunch.
Tickets are available now at
www.theweekend-girl.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/kickin-it-with-keke-life-love-all-that-other-sh-t--5060376/support.
During this episode we discuss self-care, being open to new things, embracing those quality peaceful moments, work-life balance, and the upcoming event Blossom and Brunch.
Tickets are available now at
www.theweekend-girl.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/kickin-it-with-keke-life-love-all-that-other-sh-t--5060376/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Kicking In with Kiki. Kicking it you Ki Ki,
kicking Ki Key for a little personality, switching up the
storyline on God. Were making that story and hooks us
one day at the time. Much problems to the side.
(00:26):
Enjoy yourself for your mind chicken Ki keep Welcome back
to another episode of Kicking It with Kiki, Life, love
(00:46):
and all that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel.
We are in season eight. This is the season eight opener,
so we are we're doing something different. We have a
panel today. We have a couple of ladies that's joining
us and we're talking about their organization that is there
to bring women together to form sisterhood and community. Y'all
(01:08):
know how I like to do. It's season eight, so
y'all should be used to how the show goes by. Now.
I like to give my guests the opportunity to introduce themselves,
so I'll let Miss Pamela go first. And she's new
new to the platform since the own is a regular here.
But Miss Pamla, how you doe? Thank you for coming
to kick it with me today.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I am wonderful Kiki, and thank you so much for
having me today. I'm very, very happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Absolutely so tell the listeners who you are and what
you do well.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Like Kiki just said, my name is Pama, my wife
from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I am the owner and operator
of Signature Real Estate Groups, a real estate broker. I've
been in the business for actually this month makes twenty
one years now, Yes, twenty one years.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I am also a financial services representative to provide financial
education to individuals in our community, helped them to pretty
much kind of understand what they don't understand about money,
to put themselves in a better position, and recently actually
also launched Aspire Entrepreneurs Network, which is a networking, support
(02:17):
and resource community for small business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I love that, listen, that's a great resume. Well, thank
you for being here, and we have someone the og
of kicking it with Kikill people. They should know you
by now, but tell.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Them they sure.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Well.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm Simone higginbotham. I am the owner and founder of
I call it Rebirth Weekend of Legends, which includes Rebirth Magazine,
Legend Awards, br and also a new thing that I've
thought nothing but I call it I guess a journey
a new initiative, weekend Girl dot com, which is a website,
(03:04):
a lifestyle website for women, and I came with that
about two years ago because I find that Monday through Friday,
we're often we're busy, we're running, we're doing this, we're
wearing so many different hats that we never get a
chance to do anything for us. So the weekend is
like a reprieve. Became a reprieve for me, a place
where I could time a moment in time that I
could take those couple of days to kind of do
(03:25):
some self care, to renew myself, refresh myself. So that's
how I came up with that, and I started living
my life on the weekend because money through Friday was
absolutely out of the question to do anything that I
needed to do as far as self care. So that's
who I am. And getting our first event for a
(03:46):
Weekend Girl that's coming up.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
In March, which is you Done. Got all into my
talking points. I talked to people who we are you
Done talked about the Weekend Girl, but we do talk
a little bit more in depth about it, because you know,
Monday through Friday is all business. It's all family. We
barely have time to even breathe because you coming home
(04:07):
making sure that if you have kids, you're taking care
of the kids. If you're marriage, you have the spouse,
you have dinner and all the things, going to school,
running businesses, and so just talk about the importance of
making time for yourself. And I know the weekend gear
and I'm a part of the organization, so I'm excited
about it. I know that you just told the listeners
(04:28):
how you came about. But what is something that you
pride yourself on doing on the weekends to make sure
that you're practicing that self care that you need that
you don't get throughout the week.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Most times, it's not anything really really big, if it's
just having me a moment where I can Most times,
I do a lot of reading. I love to read,
and I found that as I got older and I
got more responsibilities and things that I didn't have the
opportunity to read. So that's one of the main things
that I do fare myself for the following week, the
(05:02):
week coming up, this stuff, take some time and read
about different things, okay, different topics, and now as of late,
a lot of self care stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, what about you, miss Pamela. What is something that
you do on the weekend to reward yourself for having
that hectic week Because you that resumes you just put
out that's a lot, so I know that you need
some time for that self care. So what is something
that you try to incorporate over the weekends to practice
that self care? Definitely, well, KICKI before i tell you
what I do over the weekend, I'm gonna I actually
(05:34):
should have said this earlier. I am very happy that
I have had the opportunity to join the Rebirth and
Weekend Girl Family as the engagement coordinator.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So I'm very excited about that. So basically on the weekend,
at the start of the weekend, my very first treat,
which basically goes into this as part of self care
for me, is visiting with the one and only your collater,
which is the person that keeps my hair looking the
way it looks.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I visited with.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Her on Fridays and to have my hair pressed. But
then after that, I'm an avid gardener. I have a
raised bed vegetable gardening. The gardening is therapeutic for me.
It's basically therapy. So I like to grow my own vegetables.
I spend some time in the garden. Just like Simon,
I love to read. I'm an avid reader. I definitely
(06:27):
love to read, and just like to just enjoy quality,
peaceful moments, quality peaceful moments, and then sometimes just getaways,
you know, a vacation or just to get away. It
doesn't have to be an extended period of time. It
doesn't have to be a week long vacation. You can
literally just go away sometimes overnight, or even have a staycation,
(06:48):
you know, right there where you live in your own city,
just to get away and relax and enjoy the time
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Absolutely, and everything that you said is like, I love it.
It's just makes my spirit just smile because I grew
up my grandparents had a farm, so we was always
outside doing forming stuff, gardening stuff, growing vegetables that he had,
hogs and chickens running around and all of that. So
that's nostalgic for me to hear that it's still out
(07:16):
there because I lost them. But those memories you just
brought back so many amazing memories for me. I love
that y'all love to read, because I got like seventeen
books now I'm all a elable on Amazon.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Look, Kiki, I think my daughter has most of your books.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I think she does. Yes, absolutely, But miss Pemley, you
just said something and I want you to elaborate on
it a little bit more about having those quality peaceful moments. Yes,
the importance of that, because we sometimes take for granted
that piece that we should try to embrace on a
(07:59):
daily basis. But it's so hectic, chaotic social media with
life happening and all the things. But just expound upon
having those quality peaceful moments.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Right and you know, like you just said, you know,
life is busy.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Life is busy.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
It's very hectic for all of us, and especially women.
Knock to knock the men, but you know, women, it
can be especially busy women who are moms, especially women
with multiple children, working mothers, career women, just balancing work,
raising children, taking care of the home. Many individuals also
(08:38):
have businesses, you know, outside of that, and taking care
of yourself is easy to lose focus on that. You know,
before you realize that you've come to the end of
the day and you have not made yourself a priority
in those days go on and before you know, you're
at the end of the week and you still have
not made time for yourself, and then the kind of
(09:00):
repeats itself.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Over and over and over.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
But you know, we have to stop and think about
ourselves and take time to have those moments where we
can just kind of clear everything from our mind, where
we can just have a moment of peace and solitude.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Absolutely, and Simon, what about you, how would you define
a quality piece for moment? For you?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
To be honest, I'm gonna have to leave outside of
my bedroom. That's my sanctuary. That's where I do most
of mine when I connect to my spirituality, where I
connect to who I am. With a book, if I'm journaling,
I love documentaries, and often I take time to catch up.
(09:50):
You know, a lot of times we don't have conversations
with people anymore, and maybe not be in person, but
just making phone calls. If it's no more than just
talking to my great aunt who's ninety nine years old,
you know, taking that time when I'm not able to
speak to her during the week a whole lot, but
I'm able to speak with her on the weekend and
talk to her and I learn a lot from her.
Every time I talk to her, I learned something new,
(10:10):
not only about her, but about myself. Maybe the reason
why I do certain things I learned from her. So
just inside and I've worked very very hard and making
my bedroom a sanctuary for me where it's comfortable. I've
gotten into candles for different reasons, different since I've gotten in,
like I said, different books and I have. You know,
(10:30):
I used to limit myself to certain types of books
that I've read, but now I have become more open
to things that I wouldn't normally be interested in. So
I've enjoyed that just just just a simple quiet time.
I don't have to be doing anything, just some quiet moments,
this quietness. You know, life is so loud, you know,
(10:53):
and so life and when people say that when you're lifing,
it can become extremely loud. So just having quiet time
and having that time to your So that's what just
a few of the things that I do, and what
I see is, you know, the time that I take
to do that.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
I like that word she use, sanctuary. I like that word.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It doesn't have to be a big elaborate space, but
an area that's for you. Like my sanctuary is my
little small home office that's a space for me. I
can go in there and close the door, turn the
lights off, and that's my space, right.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I also have a home office I work in here,
but I also have y'all see the vibrant colors and
things that I have, So it's a sanctuary for me
as well. We have another guest that has joined us,
So Sierra, come on off and mute and tell these
people who you are what you do. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Hello, Hello, good people. Sorry for my tardiness, but I
am Sierra Ariel. I am a author, a motivational speaker
as well as a life coach working with you when
it comes to your mental and building your confidence.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I love that. I love that. So we were just
talking about the having quality peaceful moments for you. What
would be like a quality peaceful moment?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I know, I don't think anyone said it, but the
bathroom is my time.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
More more so the shower than the toilet, just because
we are in the midst of partty turning our two
year old, so that time is not not the best time.
But getting in the shower, yeah, I think that's my
space to just kind of zone out, forget about time,
(12:44):
forget about being a mom at the moment, and just
you know, letting the water hit you. Sometimes I may
have taken a shower already. Sometimes I just go in
there and do it again just to get that time.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I love that. I love my bathroom to have a
blue light in there. And I get in my tub
and I soaked, and I realized, oh, you done been
here too long. I was all strip it up and
stuff like that. But you need that place where you
can just kind of zone out. Becomes then you know,
turn the noise off, like Timon said, because the older
I get, the less noise I like. I don't like
(13:19):
it to be quiet, yes, like noise disrupts my peace.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And Starry got a two year old, God bless.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You, and expecting another one, so.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Congratulations. Yes, look my crewch My son just made sixteen,
and my daughter just turned twenty eight, and I just
had a birthday. Like Christmas and birthdays, like the holiday
season is busy for us, like what you think, and
having birthdays and then Christmas and then the other birthdays.
But yeah, we make it work. I love that you
(13:54):
guys are all about the self, because if we cannot
tap into the spirit of self, we're no good to
anybody else. So I want to talk about the importance
of having self acceptance once because I think that that
starts the self care journey as well as self love,
self motivation, self discovery and all of that. You have
to be able to accept yourself wholeheartedly to tap into
(14:17):
those things. So, if you had to give a definition
to self acceptance, Seer, what it would it be? And why?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I think when you say acceptance that hits home for
me because this year I definitely said that this, you know,
just grieving the old person without the kids, without the
husband and all of that, and being able to accept
like this new life of you know, motherhood and being
(14:45):
able to just juggle the business, the home life and
things like that. Sometimes that could have its own standard,
you know, So being able to like tear that down
and say, Okay, this is what I can handle, and
this is what I can't handle. This is who I
(15:06):
am and this is who I'm not. And so just
being able to accept that part of me and being
balanced in those spaces is enough for me.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
What about you, Simon, If you had to give self
acceptance a definition, what would it be and why?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Well, I'm gonna say this, self acceptance for me would
be being able to know who you are, know who
you are, what you're willing to accept, what are you
willing to do, accepting who you were prior to who
you're becoming. And I would say my reasons for that
(15:44):
is why a lot of people don't know this unless
you know me. Know me. I was my mother's caregiver
until she passed, from the time I was thirty years
old until I was forty four years old, and at
that time my mother became her health began to fail her.
I was going through a divorce from an abusive marriage.
So at that point, from jumping into that, I never
(16:05):
had been married young, having a child, pretty much a
young person, I never got really a chance to figure
out who I was, what I liked, my likes, my dislikes.
So after my mother passed, and at that time my
daughter was an adult, I had to reinvent me, figure
out what I liked, what I didn't like, what I
was going to accept, what I wasn't going to accept.
(16:27):
So for me, that's what it was, But that was
my reason. I was at a turning point, and I'm
gonna be honest with you. In twenty fifteen, aug was
in two twenty fifteen my mother passed and I was
completely lost. I didn't know what I was gonna do.
I really had no I was living for her and
living for the person that had me, and living for
the person that I had, which was my daughter. So
(16:47):
outside of those two people, I knew nothing about what
life was. So I was almost like even though I
was forty four, I was like a person that was
eighteen years old that's leaving to go to college and
experience in life. So for the last nine almost ten years,
I've been experiencing life on my own terms and doing
what I want when I want to, how much I want,
If I don't, I don't, If I do, I do,
(17:08):
mm hm.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I love that. I love that. What about you, miss
miss Pamela. If you had to give self acceptance a definition,
what would it be and why?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The first and foremost, you know, understanding that we are
all different.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
We're all different.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
You know, God has created each and every one of
us unique, and you know we're kind of living in
an age now where everyone's trying to kind of fit
the mold. Then you know, kind of everyone's trying to
be the same, and you know we're all different and
being able to understand that we're all uniquely created and
being happy with we've been created to be in and
(17:47):
accepting who we are now. Are we always the same person? No,
you know we go through different phases of life. We
definitely do. And you know, like some was saying, You're like,
I've been someone's mother since I was twenty years old,
and you know, mother someone's wife, and over just my
(18:09):
years in life, you know, I've definitely evolved, and you
know there was a point where, you know, you have
to kind of shift some things and at some point
kind of shift who you are. You know, I know
there was a point where my entire life was consumed
with my family, you know, with my children, and you
(18:30):
kind of get to.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
The point of where sometimes you're like, who am I?
You're trying to figure out who am I?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And you know, my children are older now, they're sixteen,
nineteen and twenty seven, you know, going on twenty seven,
twenty six, one on twenty seven, and so I kind
of now I'm at a point now the last couple
of years where I'm kind of like evolving again.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I've had some individuals say, well, you know you're changing,
are you?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm like, no, I'm just this is just another phase
of my life and we're just moving into another phase.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And just you know, I want to be me.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I don't want to be anyone but me and who
I've created to be and whoever I'm supposed to be
at this moment in time in my life, and just
a hands on whoever that person.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Is, absolutely And I want to switch back to something
that that Sierra talked about having that balance, and I
want to talk about having that work life balance. We
have to be able to balance in order to stay
in control because otherwise we become unhealthy, unhappy, resentful and
all the things, and that can destroy relationships both you know,
(19:33):
career wise as well as home life. So let's talk
about the importance of having that, like the work life balance,
and I'll start with miss Pamela. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Well, it is critical to have that work life balance.
It is critical, and you know, especially you know, except
you know, for for career on moms, you know, working
with children. If you don't consciously make the effort to
ensure that balance is there, it's not going to be there.
(20:05):
And like you said, you will go into fall into
moments where you can become resentful because you feel like
you have no time for you, You feel like no one
is thinking about you. It's all about everyone else and
no one is thinking about you, right, So you know
which goes back to you know, having creating purposeful moments,
(20:26):
you know where you know you you can create that balance.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
I know, you know, for myself, I'm a schedule person.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
You know, I am a scheduled person, and you're just
kind of incorporating things where you know, you know how
your day is going to look, where you know, you
know what you have to do for your family, you
know how what you have to do for your job,
but also ensuring that you're adding in those things that
you have to do for yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Absolutely, what about you see err because y'all you it
seemed like your household gout life going on around here.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
I appreciate all patience.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think the work life balance has gotten a lot
better for me just because I learned how to say
no and to set the boundaries on.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Like what I will and will not do.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Because of that, I don't bring work home once once
I clock out, that's it. We I'm with that and
just being able to also being that I do juggle
my own business to have days where it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna do this on this day. This is my schedule,
Like Miss Familla said, like that is important because I
(21:33):
am very family oriented. I want to be present. I
want to be present with my husband. I want to
be present with my children. So not to make the
job of distraction, but to make it beneficial for me
and my.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Family absolutely, Simone, how do you how do you handle
that that work? You know, tap into the work life
balance because you you have a lot going on too,
you don't. But I've gotten a lot better.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I decided that when I'm fifty that I was going
to learn to delegate. So I'm a person that tried
to do it all and I've come to the realization
that I had to learn to delegate. I had to
learn to ask for help. It took me a while
to get there. And another thing I realized is that
whatever that it is, you know, I do a lot
of stuff, community stuff, advocate for a lot, but I
(22:20):
can't be everywhere. Everybody in me too. If you would
see my inbox emails inviting me and I used to
try to be at everything, sometimes three four five things
a day, and I decided you can't do this, and
you know, I just could not. And if it doesn't
align with what I'm trying to what my life's mission is.
If it doesn't align what I'm trying to do, I
(22:42):
can't do it. You know, I'll help in any other
kind of way. I'll put the word out about it,
I'll share it or whatever. But I just can't be
everything for everybody anymore because in the process of showing
up for everybody, but someone so and even that goes
with you know, my daughter, I have one, one child,
but she knows I'm at mother. I'm gonna do everything.
(23:06):
I'm gonna be there for her. I'm gonna do everything possible.
I'm gonna shore but she has to learn U had
to learn that. You know, I'm your mother, but you're
an adult, You're married, you have a husband, you have
a child, you have your own household. You know. Now,
if it's an emergency or something like that, yeah, of
course I'm gonna always be there for it, but just
being there because a mama, you know, you we all
(23:28):
we're all mothers. So, but Sierra hasn't experienced this yet.
You know, when you get that text to that call,
you hear that Ma, you know a question? You do
that text Ma, you know something something? Want it? They
want you to do something. So even with her, I
had to create boundaries. And that's one of my things.
(23:50):
I've just had to learn to delegate. And I had
to realize everything cannot align with what I'm trying to
achieve in life, and I have to learn to show
up for me.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Absolutely, you're not showing up for you. How you gonna
show up for anybody else? Yes, you have to be
able to show up for yourself. So let's talk about
the the event coming up, Blossom and Brunch. How did
that all come about? What's the mission behind it? And
all the things? Tell the listeners. If you're in the
(24:20):
band rouge ham An area, y'all can get y'all tickets,
tell them when the date is, let's go. Let's let's
talk about the event because we could go on and
on about self love and life balance and boundaries and
all of that, but we have other missions for the
party for people to hear about the events. So let's
talk about Blossom and Brunch.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I've done I've done a ton of events, but this
one is very near and dear to me because in
the last like before we got on to talk about this,
the discussion that we're having, we were talking about my
reason behind it, my reason I found myself going to brunches,
teas and all these events that are supposed to know
their mission is to empower women. But it only to me.
(25:05):
It was certain women. It wasn't all women. I want
every woman. My mission is for every woman to come
and be able to embrace blossom and brunch, to live it,
to enjoy it, to feel comfortable, to be able to network,
connect with women that they can relate to. On all
(25:27):
of us. I don't care how different we are. We
all can relate in some area. We can relate to
each other. So I want them to feel comfortable. I
want to have that laid back by where you can
come and be comfortable and your flip flops, your tennis shoes.
You don't have to be dressed to the lines. We
don't want them to be dressed to the line. We
want them to sit at tables in areas where they
can see each other. You want to have those ten
(25:48):
foot centerpieces where they have to look around and see
who they're talking to. The mission is to not force
any of my personal beliefs on them, but for them
to be able to be comfortable. And we all know
we've been places that as women that in the company
of certain well not in company, but as certain eventually
(26:09):
you just didn't feel comfortable. So that's the mission of it.
And when I decided and why, I say, you know what,
I can't do this by myself. I needed a team.
So I started pulling people that I knew knew that
had certain skills that they could bring to the table
to make this a success. And in the process of it,
they are women that they have their own businesses and
(26:31):
that's what they're pouring into this event their business and
they're gonna be Everybody involved is gonna benefit from this.
It's not a one woman show. And I'm so excited
about it because we just started on the first putting
it out there. Uh you know some of the things
that it's going to be like anything else that that
they've ever attended. I promise we have some great things planned.
(26:55):
And I'm you know, Sierra's the mind behind this. It's
not me. She's the mastermind behind everything. And Miss Pam
is keeping us together. She's keeping the budget together and
you know, the admin things and these are people, well,
I've known see her all of her life life. Literally
(27:16):
she's my niece, so you know, I've known her literally
all of her life. But miss Pam, I met her
on social media and pretty much everybody that's involved. That's
how I met them. But they are women that we're
all doing things on our own, but we also we
want to come together and share some of the things
that we have to offer to women of Baton Rouge
(27:37):
and surrounding areas. But that's what Blossom and Brunch is
all about. When women when you leave Blossom and Brunch,
and if you notice anybody on the flyer, it says
ten a m. Until we don't want to come and
feel rushed, like you know, it's a time limit. We
gotta squeeze all this in and we gotta get it done.
It's until and when they leave and they go back
out into the big bad world, they'll have all the
(27:59):
tools that they need for self care to be able
to u love on themselves and make them make their
them best possible people that they can be.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Absolutely they'll be able to blossom into the woman that
they're supposed to exactly. All right, you the Mastermind talk
about it. Let's tell the listeners what they can We
don't want to give away stuff because we want to
sell the tickets and get it a little bit what
they can expect by coming to this event.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So the more I talk to the visionary of this event,
the more that I talk to the visionary of the event.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
It's more like a staycation.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
You ever been somewhere and it's like it's a whole
lot of stuff for you to do, and then you
just schedule it all out and then you just go
and do That's the idea that we want to take
from this event, right, And so, like she said, it's
until it's a whole lot of different activities. We're calling
it excursions because we don't want to be like it's
(29:02):
a workshop for a class, because now we feel like
we got to come and work.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
It's work.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
We just want to relax.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
So it's excursions that you will be able to choose
from from ten until. The idea is that once you
register and you say what times are available to you,
we put it to where it's it's doable for you.
And so the idea is for us to for you
(29:30):
to walk away and be able to create.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
That same space.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So We just want to create that space to where
it's not so much of a like like, it's not
an event, it's an experience.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It's there you go. That's the work right there, an experience.
It's an experience.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
We want you to walk through the door and know like, Okay,
this where I'm supposed to be. Whether you show up
at ten or you show up at twelve, it's something for.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You to do, right. Yeah, yes, I love Listen. I'm
not so excited. I'm glad I'll be there. I'm looking
forward to it. I think that it's amazing to have
something like this because, like you said, when you go
on vacation, you want to do certain things. Those excursions
be lit. So I cannot wait to see what'll y'all
(30:21):
putting together. I know it's gonna be a beautiful thing. So,
Miss Pamela, what what do you want people to feel
when they come to the brunch?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Well, I tell you, when I think about the event,
kind of think about when when a group of friends
get together and they planning a sleepover and they plan
all these activities they want.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
To do during the sleepover and have.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
All this fun all night long over during the sleepover,
but of course, instead of a sleepover, it's gonna be
a day over. It's gonna be during the daytime, and
like I said, Erra said, a staycation, you know, and
just really everyone coming walking in feeling completely comfortable, completely relaxed,
(31:07):
feeling like they are amongst women that they have known
their entire life. Like Simone said, she and I met
each other on social media and when I was that
was before any of this, you.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Know, came to be.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I actually reached out to her and I asked if
I could call her, and we kind of had a
conversation about something. Then she and I just started conversating
and we were on the phone for like almost an hour,
you know, talking as if we had known each other
for a while.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
So I want, you know, women to come and just.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Feel that like they are amongst women that they have
known their entire lives. They are with their friend groups
where they can really truly be relaxed. They don't have
to feel tense or embarrassed or ashamed about anything. They
can be completely relaxed and comfortable and enjoy themselves to
the fullest, enjoy every activity and just not be bashful
(31:55):
and just let it all loose and just have fun.
If that's hotel, tell the people when it is how
they can get tickets and come and be a part
of this event.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Okay, I guess it's March fifteenth, and that's a Saturday morning,
and it starts at ten like we said until and
it's at the Reimagined Woman Center. That's a seventy six
hundred airline highway, and they can get tickets at www
dot Weekend hyphengirl dot com.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Got it, And all of this information would be in
the show notes, guys, so you don't have an excuse.
You can go rewind, re listen however you want to
do it, and you will have it, or just look
at the show notes and read it and click on
the link, because I will have that available for you, guys.
But I love I love the concept behind it. I
love the concept behind the Weekend Girl. And so let's
(32:55):
talk about the importance of forming community and sisterhood because
we talk about the hatefulness and the back burning and
gossip and you know, just cat fighting and stuff all
the time. We see it on social media and things
like that. I don't partake in any of that. If
I can't uplift my sister, then you know, I'm gonna pray.
We ain't got to be friends, but I don't have
(33:17):
nothing bad to say. You ain't got to be in
my circle and have to be in yours. But I'm
gonna still ask God to lead your path. That's just
how I've always been having that community and sisterhood. What
do you guys think about the importance of forming that
because we all need that, whether we want to believe
it or not. God didn't put us here to be
alone in life.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Out of all those things that you didn't name that
you didn't say this one thing as a sisterhood what
this is what I see a lot of And I
work hard myself personally to impart on people, especially women,
that this is not the way and it's not the
way it's supposed to be. I see a lot of gatekeeping. Mh,
(34:00):
you have gatekeeping. And you can't put gatekeeping and sisterhood
in the same sentence, in the same paragraph, the same conversation,
same discussion. You cannot You cannot be a gatekeeper and
say that you are if you want sisterhood, that you
want to create opportunities for sisterhood to happen. You cannot
(34:20):
empower other women if you are a gatekeeper. So what
sisterhood and community looks like to me is you being
your sister's keeper, not a gatekeeper. I am my sister's keeper.
Anybody that anybody, you can't find one person on the
face of this earth that's ever text me, call me
or email me and ask me how to do something,
how to get something, how to find something, And I
(34:43):
didn't tell them. If I knew personally, I'm going to
help you. I'm going to show you. If I don't know,
then I'm going to connect you to the person that
can help you. That's what sisterhood looks like. We have
to be our sister's keeper. And that means not in
the good times, but in the bad times and in
between times, all times. I'm a firm believer that no
(35:03):
matter what's going on, I'm gonna go back a little bit.
I'm a firm believer. Then what's for Simon's for Simone?
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
And I think that's where we get caught up as women.
We're so afraid that if I tell her this or
I share this with her, then she's going to do
better than me, She's going to be higher than me.
But I feel like if I help you, and you
get to where I can't with this, then you'll reach
back and you'll pull me up with you. And you know,
(35:32):
people consistently, you know. I hear women say that, you know,
everybody can't go with you, you know, And to some
extent I believe that. But to some extent I believe that,
for the most part, most of my sisters can come
with me. But you gotta be willing to be a
part of a true sisterhood. I'm gonna give you a
(35:53):
an example about sisterhood. And we don't these two lates
anything that I do. They support me. We've been since
we were five years old. We've been friends forty eight years.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
We have never had an argument, We've never been angry,
we never had a spat where we go and not
talk to each other. Now we don't talk to each
other every day, we don't see each other every day,
but we have a group text that we text at
least maybe once a day or once every other day.
We see each other, we do things together. But another
thing we have to also know as women, what's the
(36:28):
true definition of friendship? Is friendship and sisterhood All those
two words they are intertwined and we don't know what
it really is, what it really means to be a
friend for me, And like ms Pam said, we're all different.
But for me, what friendship is it's far to be
there when I really need you. You been at my
house every day does not make you my friend, right,
(36:52):
you know, us talking on the phone every day does
not make me. But when I lost my mother, that's
my friend. When my daughter have lost her father and
my friend, those two women were there. You know, when
when Lisa lost her dad, we were there. When our friend,
when when Patricia lost her husband two years ago, we
were there. You know, that's when you're there. So we
(37:13):
got to be our sister's keeper in the good, the bad,
and the ugly. And that's what sisterhood and community means
to surmount.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
And I love, I loved something that you say about
believing that not everybody can come with you to a
certain extent. But I believe that, yeah, not everybody's gonna
be able to come with you along the journey, because
God would give you the journey to go and set
the pace or set that pathway for other people to
follow so they won't have to go through some of
(37:43):
the things that you encounter because he gave you that
strength to endure, and so they they can see, Okay,
if Kiki went and she didne had all this going
on and she made it through, she done let that
pathway for me. So I'm good because I know she
waiting on on the other side, waiting for me on
the other side. So let's just go that way. So
(38:04):
I believe that. Yeah, now everybody can go walk on
that journey as you go, but that don't mean that
they can't follow as you leave.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
And I agree with you wholeheartedly on what you just
said because I look at so many women that I
see have overcome so much. That's encouragement to me. It
may not be quite the same situation, but you know,
all the women, you know, I can name many women
that I encounter every single day of my life. And
(38:32):
you know, people like Danita Tate, people like Liz Robinson.
You know, those are women that have had tremendous loss,
but they still get up every day and they go
and they encourage. I heard Liz Robinson lost her son
about five six years ago to violence. They interviewed her,
(38:56):
and I watched her interview when she said, even through
her her in her loss. Since her son was killed,
she has went to over two hundred mothers, been there
for them even through her own grief, in her own loss,
she was able to be those their keeper, the keeper
(39:16):
for those women. So people that do things that encourages me,
I don't know how. I've never lost a child, so
I have no clue. But I don't know how she's
able to do that because it's like she's reliving it.
He's literally relived it over two hundred times.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
And she is one of the ones that I will
say that God gave her something special, Yes, before those
other women that she's slept, you know, pour into to
help them get over their grief in the midst of
her own. I love I love how she so she
she is so passionate about sharing the news, and she
is leaving that legacy of her son, you know, his
(39:53):
memory is it lives on through her constantly speaking about
him and helping up women get through it. And just
I just I love seeing her on social media, and
you know she was on the podcast as well. But yeah,
I love that. That was a great example from what
I would I would she would be the face of
what I just said about going for us to help
us along the way.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
Absolutely, definitely, What.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
About you, miss Pammela about the community and sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Wow, so mone just says so much, it's hard to
top that about But I tell you one thing that
I definitely think about, which I really believe a lot
of women are concerned about this when they think about
sisterhood and developing relationships, is genuine relationships. Genuine relationships, you know,
(40:46):
ensuring that, you know, as we develop relationships and build sisterhoods,
that we're really truly genuine in our intentions, you know,
genuine when we were you know, assisting someone when we're
giving praise and adorations and that advice, when someone you
know feels that they can come to us with confidential
information for advice, being true to that genuine nature, you know,
(41:13):
if you have built this relationship in a sisterhood, a
person shouldn't have to in the back of their mind
wonder if you are expressed in concern but laughing on
the inside, or if you are expressed in concern but
then they're good, they have they're gonna have to be
concerned about hearing something from someone else because their confidential
(41:33):
information was shared.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Wouldness shouldn't have been.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Or you know, they they hear that this person who
they thought really truly had to bond with them really
was kind of you know, happy and basting in what
they're dealing with. It is really being genuine in our relationships, right,
And in order to be genuine you have in that relationship,
you have to be genuine in your heart.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So it all starts.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
There, yeap, what's inwardly? All right? See our closes out
about that sisterhood and community.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I think it's unconditional. You have to lead in that way.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
So what I you know, the group of friends that
I do have, they know me, I know them and
even when they don't speak or when even when we
don't talk because I don't talk to my my friends
every day, but when I do, we always know before
they even open them outh. And so I think that
particular gifting or relationships should be throughout our sisterhood to
(42:39):
where they don't have to say a word. We should
just know, you know, what type of love that they
need or what type of need there is in the room,
and being able to meet that need without without it
being anything else, you know, like no no strings attached,
nothing that you had to do, nothing you had to
(42:59):
say to me nothing.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
You know, if you need it, then I have it.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
So I think having that type of mindset in that
aspect would be more beneficial within the sisterhood than like
we said, we call it gatekeeping and you know, all
of the things that come with that, the guardedness that
some of us may have. I think those things are
more important than.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
How we see it today.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Right, I love it, I love it. But this has
been an amazing episode you guys, thank you for coming
to kick with me. Have one final question. I just
want to ask you, guys, just to give your insight
or your input on this particular question for someone who
may be listening and just feel like they're alone when
it comes to embracing new faces of life, like knowing
(43:51):
that it's okay to each change, knowing its okay to evolve,
and knowing is okay to let go of the old
to embrace the new. So let's talk about that. Like,
what wed you say to someone who's listening about embracing
the new phases of life?
Speaker 2 (44:07):
You are not your experience, and your experienced does not
just find where you're going. And a lot of times
we have to be willing to accept the new knowing
that it's new and that whatever you dealt with in
the past is not going to be the determining factor
(44:27):
of how you move forward. I love it, Yes, definitely,
and being able to move into.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Freely accepting the new.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's the only way we can be able to step
into that next phase, step in to those doors that
God has opened for us. You know. Without that, we're
going to be that same place, stagnant place, kind of
wondering what's next for me, what's out there for me?
You know, we just have to you know, let it
loose and just go forward. Just do it.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Absolutely, just go for it.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
I would say that just like I think Sierra and
Pam have said, you have to be able to allow
it to happen. You have to be at a place,
so I guess a point in your life in your journey,
uh here to know that it's time for a change.
And change is not always good. Uh sometimes change is
(45:25):
not necessarily a perfect But we have to be willing
to have that leap of faith. And it goes back
to faith, having faith. And I've come to the point
in life that whatever is, I know, whatever it's going
to be, I don't fight it, but you know, whatever's
going to happen, I allow it to happen. And I
just have faith in my My faith is you know,
(45:47):
I have faith in God. I used to not. I
used to not be that way, but as I've gotten older,
I've realized that sometimes that's the only truly what it is,
the only truly reliable even you know, man, you know,
man all disappoint you sometimes. Man. I used to hear
my grandmother said that all the time. And be honest,
I's wondering what that lady talking about. She said, man
(46:09):
and woman, she said, we'll disappoint you, we'll let you down.
But if you have faith in God, you know, the
faith the side of the size of a mustard seed.
And she's so right. And whatever it is that I
come up against, and because you know, if it's changed
or whatever the case may be, I just let go
and I embrace it. Uh, embrace changes. You know this
(46:30):
is good or bad?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And it's a true statement. We all say, you know,
if even if it's lemons, I take it and make lemonade.
So yeah, Kiki, And if I can add one more thing.
There are too many people out there, especially when they
get older in life, they sit back and they go
through that what if could have, would have but could
have but didn't, would have but didn't?
Speaker 4 (46:53):
What if?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Right? Absolutely, you don't want it. I mean, I know
we all we don't like to talk about death and
leaving this world or whatever, but it's inevitable. We all
have that cross to bear. So would you rather you
leave it all here and say, hey, I did everything
that I can to be the best version of myself
while I was here, or would you be like dang
(47:18):
living in regret or you know, in regret. And that's
one thing that I try to make sure that I
never live in regret. Yeah, I made some bad decisions,
but they have helped shape and mow me into the
person that I am today. So I'm able to talk
about it with my kids or my nieces and nephews
and things like that so that I can help them.
(47:38):
I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but because
sometimes people have to learn the hard way, but I'm
gonna be here to hold you and say, you know,
you know, what did you learn from that? Is? Let's
talk about it because I have a similar experience. You know,
I'm not one of those people that try to preach
and things like that, because everybody don't receive from that.
(47:59):
I'm not one of them to receive from that. But love,
I love all of the answers that your lady said.
This is like, I'm excited about season eight. If this
is the opener of season eight, it's gonna be a
great season. So I am excited about Blossom and brunch.
I cannot wait to be in the space with you
ladies and give you all a hug. And before we
(48:22):
get off, are there any last words that you would
like to leave the listeners with today?
Speaker 3 (48:28):
And this may seem a little said what's been said before,
but just learn to live, love and laugh. That's what
I've had to learn to do. Live, love and laugh
and live with no regrets and enjoy life. Life is
too short not to embrace it and love it. I
just want to say, you know, just like she said,
(48:51):
embrace the season, but also I don't know, like that
just keeps ringing like.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
You are not your experience, You're not what you've experienced,
and you know it's important that you know you're able
to embrace the newness, knowing that the experience that you
face can be something that you move past.
Speaker 4 (49:11):
Yes, Love, yourself.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Love who you are, Embrace who you are, Celebrate who
you are.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Absolutely so with that being said, you guys have been
listening to another episode of Kicking In with Kiki, Life,
love and all that other shit.
Speaker 4 (49:27):
I am back.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Every Thursday with a new episode until next time. Love yourself,
embrace those new new beginnings you know, don't be afraid
to change and try something new. Grab your friends and
see us in March at this event. I want to
see y'all there. Information about the event is in the
show notes again and later Purple HUDs chick in it
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well eight
Welcome to Kicking In with Kiki. Kicking it you Ki Ki,
kicking Ki Key for a little personality, switching up the
storyline on God. Were making that story and hooks us
one day at the time. Much problems to the side.
(00:26):
Enjoy yourself for your mind chicken Ki keep Welcome back
to another episode of Kicking It with Kiki, Life, love
(00:46):
and all that other ship. I am your host, Kiki Chanel.
We are in season eight. This is the season eight opener,
so we are we're doing something different. We have a
panel today. We have a couple of ladies that's joining
us and we're talking about their organization that is there
to bring women together to form sisterhood and community. Y'all
(01:08):
know how I like to do. It's season eight, so
y'all should be used to how the show goes by. Now.
I like to give my guests the opportunity to introduce themselves,
so I'll let Miss Pamela go first. And she's new
new to the platform since the own is a regular here.
But Miss Pamla, how you doe? Thank you for coming
to kick it with me today.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I am wonderful Kiki, and thank you so much for
having me today. I'm very, very happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Absolutely so tell the listeners who you are and what
you do well.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Like Kiki just said, my name is Pama, my wife
from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I am the owner and operator
of Signature Real Estate Groups, a real estate broker. I've
been in the business for actually this month makes twenty
one years now, Yes, twenty one years.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I am also a financial services representative to provide financial
education to individuals in our community, helped them to pretty
much kind of understand what they don't understand about money,
to put themselves in a better position, and recently actually
also launched Aspire Entrepreneurs Network, which is a networking, support
(02:17):
and resource community for small business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I love that, listen, that's a great resume. Well, thank
you for being here, and we have someone the og
of kicking it with Kikill people. They should know you
by now, but tell.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Them they sure.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Well.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
I'm Simone higginbotham. I am the owner and founder of
I call it Rebirth Weekend of Legends, which includes Rebirth Magazine,
Legend Awards, br and also a new thing that I've
thought nothing but I call it I guess a journey
a new initiative, weekend Girl dot com, which is a website,
(03:04):
a lifestyle website for women, and I came with that
about two years ago because I find that Monday through Friday,
we're often we're busy, we're running, we're doing this, we're
wearing so many different hats that we never get a
chance to do anything for us. So the weekend is
like a reprieve. Became a reprieve for me, a place
where I could time a moment in time that I
could take those couple of days to kind of do
(03:25):
some self care, to renew myself, refresh myself. So that's
how I came up with that, and I started living
my life on the weekend because money through Friday was
absolutely out of the question to do anything that I
needed to do as far as self care. So that's
who I am. And getting our first event for a
(03:46):
Weekend Girl that's coming up.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
In March, which is you Done. Got all into my
talking points. I talked to people who we are you
Done talked about the Weekend Girl, but we do talk
a little bit more in depth about it, because you know,
Monday through Friday is all business. It's all family. We
barely have time to even breathe because you coming home
(04:07):
making sure that if you have kids, you're taking care
of the kids. If you're marriage, you have the spouse,
you have dinner and all the things, going to school,
running businesses, and so just talk about the importance of
making time for yourself. And I know the weekend gear
and I'm a part of the organization, so I'm excited
about it. I know that you just told the listeners
(04:28):
how you came about. But what is something that you
pride yourself on doing on the weekends to make sure
that you're practicing that self care that you need that
you don't get throughout the week.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Most times, it's not anything really really big, if it's
just having me a moment where I can Most times,
I do a lot of reading. I love to read,
and I found that as I got older and I
got more responsibilities and things that I didn't have the
opportunity to read. So that's one of the main things
that I do fare myself for the following week, the
(05:02):
week coming up, this stuff, take some time and read
about different things, okay, different topics, and now as of late,
a lot of self care stuff.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Okay, what about you, miss Pamela. What is something that
you do on the weekend to reward yourself for having
that hectic week Because you that resumes you just put
out that's a lot, so I know that you need
some time for that self care. So what is something
that you try to incorporate over the weekends to practice
that self care? Definitely, well, KICKI before i tell you
what I do over the weekend, I'm gonna I actually
(05:34):
should have said this earlier. I am very happy that
I have had the opportunity to join the Rebirth and
Weekend Girl Family as the engagement coordinator.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
So I'm very excited about that. So basically on the weekend,
at the start of the weekend, my very first treat,
which basically goes into this as part of self care
for me, is visiting with the one and only your collater,
which is the person that keeps my hair looking the
way it looks.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
I visited with.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Her on Fridays and to have my hair pressed. But
then after that, I'm an avid gardener. I have a
raised bed vegetable gardening. The gardening is therapeutic for me.
It's basically therapy. So I like to grow my own vegetables.
I spend some time in the garden. Just like Simon,
I love to read. I'm an avid reader. I definitely
(06:27):
love to read, and just like to just enjoy quality,
peaceful moments, quality peaceful moments, and then sometimes just getaways,
you know, a vacation or just to get away. It
doesn't have to be an extended period of time. It
doesn't have to be a week long vacation. You can
literally just go away sometimes overnight, or even have a staycation,
(06:48):
you know, right there where you live in your own city,
just to get away and relax and enjoy the time
for yourself.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Absolutely, and everything that you said is like, I love it.
It's just makes my spirit just smile because I grew
up my grandparents had a farm, so we was always
outside doing forming stuff, gardening stuff, growing vegetables that he had,
hogs and chickens running around and all of that. So
that's nostalgic for me to hear that it's still out
(07:16):
there because I lost them. But those memories you just
brought back so many amazing memories for me. I love
that y'all love to read, because I got like seventeen
books now I'm all a elable on Amazon.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Look, Kiki, I think my daughter has most of your books.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I think she does. Yes, absolutely, But miss Pemley, you
just said something and I want you to elaborate on
it a little bit more about having those quality peaceful moments. Yes,
the importance of that, because we sometimes take for granted
that piece that we should try to embrace on a
(07:59):
daily basis. But it's so hectic, chaotic social media with
life happening and all the things. But just expound upon
having those quality peaceful moments.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Right and you know, like you just said, you know,
life is busy.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
Life is busy.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
It's very hectic for all of us, and especially women.
Knock to knock the men, but you know, women, it
can be especially busy women who are moms, especially women
with multiple children, working mothers, career women, just balancing work,
raising children, taking care of the home. Many individuals also
(08:38):
have businesses, you know, outside of that, and taking care
of yourself is easy to lose focus on that. You know,
before you realize that you've come to the end of
the day and you have not made yourself a priority
in those days go on and before you know, you're
at the end of the week and you still have
not made time for yourself, and then the kind of
(09:00):
repeats itself.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Over and over and over.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
But you know, we have to stop and think about
ourselves and take time to have those moments where we
can just kind of clear everything from our mind, where
we can just have a moment of peace and solitude.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Absolutely, and Simon, what about you, how would you define
a quality piece for moment? For you?
Speaker 3 (09:28):
To be honest, I'm gonna have to leave outside of
my bedroom. That's my sanctuary. That's where I do most
of mine when I connect to my spirituality, where I
connect to who I am. With a book, if I'm journaling,
I love documentaries, and often I take time to catch up.
(09:50):
You know, a lot of times we don't have conversations
with people anymore, and maybe not be in person, but
just making phone calls. If it's no more than just
talking to my great aunt who's ninety nine years old,
you know, taking that time when I'm not able to
speak to her during the week a whole lot, but
I'm able to speak with her on the weekend and
talk to her and I learn a lot from her.
Every time I talk to her, I learned something new,
(10:10):
not only about her, but about myself. Maybe the reason
why I do certain things I learned from her. So
just inside and I've worked very very hard and making
my bedroom a sanctuary for me where it's comfortable. I've
gotten into candles for different reasons, different since I've gotten in,
like I said, different books and I have. You know,
(10:30):
I used to limit myself to certain types of books
that I've read, but now I have become more open
to things that I wouldn't normally be interested in. So
I've enjoyed that just just just a simple quiet time.
I don't have to be doing anything, just some quiet moments,
this quietness. You know, life is so loud, you know,
(10:53):
and so life and when people say that when you're lifing,
it can become extremely loud. So just having quiet time
and having that time to your So that's what just
a few of the things that I do, and what
I see is, you know, the time that I take
to do that.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
I like that word she use, sanctuary. I like that word.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It doesn't have to be a big elaborate space, but
an area that's for you. Like my sanctuary is my
little small home office that's a space for me. I
can go in there and close the door, turn the
lights off, and that's my space, right.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I also have a home office I work in here,
but I also have y'all see the vibrant colors and
things that I have, So it's a sanctuary for me
as well. We have another guest that has joined us,
So Sierra, come on off and mute and tell these
people who you are what you do. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Hello, Hello, good people. Sorry for my tardiness, but I
am Sierra Ariel. I am a author, a motivational speaker
as well as a life coach working with you when
it comes to your mental and building your confidence.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I love that. I love that. So we were just
talking about the having quality peaceful moments for you. What
would be like a quality peaceful moment?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
I know, I don't think anyone said it, but the
bathroom is my time.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
More more so the shower than the toilet, just because
we are in the midst of partty turning our two
year old, so that time is not not the best time.
But getting in the shower, yeah, I think that's my
space to just kind of zone out, forget about time,
(12:44):
forget about being a mom at the moment, and just
you know, letting the water hit you. Sometimes I may
have taken a shower already. Sometimes I just go in
there and do it again just to get that time.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
I love that. I love my bathroom to have a
blue light in there. And I get in my tub
and I soaked, and I realized, oh, you done been
here too long. I was all strip it up and
stuff like that. But you need that place where you
can just kind of zone out. Becomes then you know,
turn the noise off, like Timon said, because the older
I get, the less noise I like. I don't like
(13:19):
it to be quiet, yes, like noise disrupts my peace.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And Starry got a two year old, God bless.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You, and expecting another one, so.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Congratulations. Yes, look my crewch My son just made sixteen,
and my daughter just turned twenty eight, and I just
had a birthday. Like Christmas and birthdays, like the holiday
season is busy for us, like what you think, and
having birthdays and then Christmas and then the other birthdays.
But yeah, we make it work. I love that you
(13:54):
guys are all about the self, because if we cannot
tap into the spirit of self, we're no good to
anybody else. So I want to talk about the importance
of having self acceptance once because I think that that
starts the self care journey as well as self love,
self motivation, self discovery and all of that. You have
to be able to accept yourself wholeheartedly to tap into
(14:17):
those things. So, if you had to give a definition
to self acceptance, Seer, what it would it be? And why?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I think when you say acceptance that hits home for
me because this year I definitely said that this, you know,
just grieving the old person without the kids, without the
husband and all of that, and being able to accept
like this new life of you know, motherhood and being
(14:45):
able to just juggle the business, the home life and
things like that. Sometimes that could have its own standard,
you know, So being able to like tear that down
and say, Okay, this is what I can handle, and
this is what I can't handle. This is who I
(15:06):
am and this is who I'm not. And so just
being able to accept that part of me and being
balanced in those spaces is enough for me.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
What about you, Simon, If you had to give self
acceptance a definition, what would it be and why?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Well, I'm gonna say this, self acceptance for me would
be being able to know who you are, know who
you are, what you're willing to accept, what are you
willing to do, accepting who you were prior to who
you're becoming. And I would say my reasons for that
(15:44):
is why a lot of people don't know this unless
you know me. Know me. I was my mother's caregiver
until she passed, from the time I was thirty years
old until I was forty four years old, and at
that time my mother became her health began to fail her.
I was going through a divorce from an abusive marriage.
So at that point, from jumping into that, I never
(16:05):
had been married young, having a child, pretty much a
young person, I never got really a chance to figure
out who I was, what I liked, my likes, my dislikes.
So after my mother passed, and at that time my
daughter was an adult, I had to reinvent me, figure
out what I liked, what I didn't like, what I
was going to accept, what I wasn't going to accept.
(16:27):
So for me, that's what it was, But that was
my reason. I was at a turning point, and I'm
gonna be honest with you. In twenty fifteen, aug was
in two twenty fifteen my mother passed and I was
completely lost. I didn't know what I was gonna do.
I really had no I was living for her and
living for the person that had me, and living for
the person that I had, which was my daughter. So
(16:47):
outside of those two people, I knew nothing about what
life was. So I was almost like even though I
was forty four, I was like a person that was
eighteen years old that's leaving to go to college and
experience in life. So for the last nine almost ten years,
I've been experiencing life on my own terms and doing
what I want when I want to, how much I want,
If I don't, I don't, If I do, I do,
(17:08):
mm hm.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I love that. I love that. What about you, miss
miss Pamela. If you had to give self acceptance a definition,
what would it be and why?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The first and foremost, you know, understanding that we are
all different.
Speaker 4 (17:24):
We're all different.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
You know, God has created each and every one of
us unique, and you know we're kind of living in
an age now where everyone's trying to kind of fit
the mold. Then you know, kind of everyone's trying to
be the same, and you know we're all different and
being able to understand that we're all uniquely created and
being happy with we've been created to be in and
(17:47):
accepting who we are now. Are we always the same person? No,
you know we go through different phases of life. We
definitely do. And you know, like some was saying, You're like,
I've been someone's mother since I was twenty years old,
and you know, mother someone's wife, and over just my
(18:09):
years in life, you know, I've definitely evolved, and you
know there was a point where, you know, you have
to kind of shift some things and at some point
kind of shift who you are. You know, I know
there was a point where my entire life was consumed
with my family, you know, with my children, and you
(18:30):
kind of get to.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
The point of where sometimes you're like, who am I?
You're trying to figure out who am I?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And you know, my children are older now, they're sixteen,
nineteen and twenty seven, you know, going on twenty seven,
twenty six, one on twenty seven, and so I kind
of now I'm at a point now the last couple
of years where I'm kind of like evolving again.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
And I've had some individuals say, well, you know you're changing,
are you?
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm like, no, I'm just this is just another phase
of my life and we're just moving into another phase.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
And just you know, I want to be me.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
I don't want to be anyone but me and who
I've created to be and whoever I'm supposed to be
at this moment in time in my life, and just
a hands on whoever that person.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Is, absolutely And I want to switch back to something
that that Sierra talked about having that balance, and I
want to talk about having that work life balance. We
have to be able to balance in order to stay
in control because otherwise we become unhealthy, unhappy, resentful and
all the things, and that can destroy relationships both you know,
(19:33):
career wise as well as home life. So let's talk
about the importance of having that, like the work life balance,
and I'll start with miss Pamela. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Well, it is critical to have that work life balance.
It is critical, and you know, especially you know, except
you know, for for career on moms, you know, working
with children. If you don't consciously make the effort to
ensure that balance is there, it's not going to be there.
(20:05):
And like you said, you will go into fall into
moments where you can become resentful because you feel like
you have no time for you, You feel like no one
is thinking about you. It's all about everyone else and
no one is thinking about you, right, So you know
which goes back to you know, having creating purposeful moments,
(20:26):
you know where you know you you can create that balance.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
I know, you know, for myself, I'm a schedule person.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
You know, I am a scheduled person, and you're just
kind of incorporating things where you know, you know how
your day is going to look, where you know, you
know what you have to do for your family, you
know how what you have to do for your job,
but also ensuring that you're adding in those things that
you have to do for yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Absolutely, what about you see err because y'all you it
seemed like your household gout life going on around here.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
I appreciate all patience.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think the work life balance has gotten a lot
better for me just because I learned how to say
no and to set the boundaries on.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Like what I will and will not do.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Because of that, I don't bring work home once once
I clock out, that's it. We I'm with that and
just being able to also being that I do juggle
my own business to have days where it's like, Okay,
I'm gonna do this on this day. This is my schedule,
Like Miss Familla said, like that is important because I
(21:33):
am very family oriented. I want to be present. I
want to be present with my husband. I want to
be present with my children. So not to make the
job of distraction, but to make it beneficial for me
and my.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Family absolutely, Simone, how do you how do you handle
that that work? You know, tap into the work life
balance because you you have a lot going on too,
you don't. But I've gotten a lot better.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I decided that when I'm fifty that I was going
to learn to delegate. So I'm a person that tried
to do it all and I've come to the realization
that I had to learn to delegate. I had to
learn to ask for help. It took me a while
to get there. And another thing I realized is that
whatever that it is, you know, I do a lot
of stuff, community stuff, advocate for a lot, but I
(22:20):
can't be everywhere. Everybody in me too. If you would
see my inbox emails inviting me and I used to
try to be at everything, sometimes three four five things
a day, and I decided you can't do this, and
you know, I just could not. And if it doesn't
align with what I'm trying to what my life's mission is.
If it doesn't align what I'm trying to do, I
(22:42):
can't do it. You know, I'll help in any other
kind of way. I'll put the word out about it,
I'll share it or whatever. But I just can't be
everything for everybody anymore because in the process of showing
up for everybody, but someone so and even that goes
with you know, my daughter, I have one, one child,
but she knows I'm at mother. I'm gonna do everything.
(23:06):
I'm gonna be there for her. I'm gonna do everything possible.
I'm gonna shore but she has to learn U had
to learn that. You know, I'm your mother, but you're
an adult, You're married, you have a husband, you have
a child, you have your own household. You know. Now,
if it's an emergency or something like that, yeah, of
course I'm gonna always be there for it, but just
being there because a mama, you know, you we all
(23:28):
we're all mothers. So, but Sierra hasn't experienced this yet.
You know, when you get that text to that call,
you hear that Ma, you know a question? You do
that text Ma, you know something something? Want it? They
want you to do something. So even with her, I
had to create boundaries. And that's one of my things.
(23:50):
I've just had to learn to delegate. And I had
to realize everything cannot align with what I'm trying to
achieve in life, and I have to learn to show
up for me.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Absolutely, you're not showing up for you. How you gonna
show up for anybody else? Yes, you have to be
able to show up for yourself. So let's talk about
the the event coming up, Blossom and Brunch. How did
that all come about? What's the mission behind it? And
all the things? Tell the listeners. If you're in the
(24:20):
band rouge ham An area, y'all can get y'all tickets,
tell them when the date is, let's go. Let's let's
talk about the event because we could go on and
on about self love and life balance and boundaries and
all of that, but we have other missions for the
party for people to hear about the events. So let's
talk about Blossom and Brunch.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I've done I've done a ton of events, but this
one is very near and dear to me because in
the last like before we got on to talk about this,
the discussion that we're having, we were talking about my
reason behind it, my reason I found myself going to brunches,
teas and all these events that are supposed to know
their mission is to empower women. But it only to me.
(25:05):
It was certain women. It wasn't all women. I want
every woman. My mission is for every woman to come
and be able to embrace blossom and brunch, to live it,
to enjoy it, to feel comfortable, to be able to network,
connect with women that they can relate to. On all
(25:27):
of us. I don't care how different we are. We
all can relate in some area. We can relate to
each other. So I want them to feel comfortable. I
want to have that laid back by where you can
come and be comfortable and your flip flops, your tennis shoes.
You don't have to be dressed to the lines. We
don't want them to be dressed to the line. We
want them to sit at tables in areas where they
can see each other. You want to have those ten
(25:48):
foot centerpieces where they have to look around and see
who they're talking to. The mission is to not force
any of my personal beliefs on them, but for them
to be able to be comfortable. And we all know
we've been places that as women that in the company
of certain well not in company, but as certain eventually
(26:09):
you just didn't feel comfortable. So that's the mission of it.
And when I decided and why, I say, you know what,
I can't do this by myself. I needed a team.
So I started pulling people that I knew knew that
had certain skills that they could bring to the table
to make this a success. And in the process of it,
they are women that they have their own businesses and
(26:31):
that's what they're pouring into this event their business and
they're gonna be Everybody involved is gonna benefit from this.
It's not a one woman show. And I'm so excited
about it because we just started on the first putting
it out there. Uh you know some of the things
that it's going to be like anything else that that
they've ever attended. I promise we have some great things planned.
(26:55):
And I'm you know, Sierra's the mind behind this. It's
not me. She's the mastermind behind everything. And Miss Pam
is keeping us together. She's keeping the budget together and
you know, the admin things and these are people, well,
I've known see her all of her life life. Literally
(27:16):
she's my niece, so you know, I've known her literally
all of her life. But miss Pam, I met her
on social media and pretty much everybody that's involved. That's
how I met them. But they are women that we're
all doing things on our own, but we also we
want to come together and share some of the things
that we have to offer to women of Baton Rouge
(27:37):
and surrounding areas. But that's what Blossom and Brunch is
all about. When women when you leave Blossom and Brunch,
and if you notice anybody on the flyer, it says
ten a m. Until we don't want to come and
feel rushed, like you know, it's a time limit. We
gotta squeeze all this in and we gotta get it done.
It's until and when they leave and they go back
out into the big bad world, they'll have all the
(27:59):
tools that they need for self care to be able
to u love on themselves and make them make their
them best possible people that they can be.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Absolutely they'll be able to blossom into the woman that
they're supposed to exactly. All right, you the Mastermind talk
about it. Let's tell the listeners what they can We
don't want to give away stuff because we want to
sell the tickets and get it a little bit what
they can expect by coming to this event.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So the more I talk to the visionary of this event,
the more that I talk to the visionary of the event.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
It's more like a staycation.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
You ever been somewhere and it's like it's a whole
lot of stuff for you to do, and then you
just schedule it all out and then you just go
and do That's the idea that we want to take
from this event, right, And so, like she said, it's
until it's a whole lot of different activities. We're calling
it excursions because we don't want to be like it's
(29:02):
a workshop for a class, because now we feel like
we got to come and work.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
It's work.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
We just want to relax.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
So it's excursions that you will be able to choose
from from ten until. The idea is that once you
register and you say what times are available to you,
we put it to where it's it's doable for you.
And so the idea is for us to for you
(29:30):
to walk away and be able to create.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
That same space.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So We just want to create that space to where
it's not so much of a like like, it's not
an event, it's an experience.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It's there you go. That's the work right there, an experience.
It's an experience.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
We want you to walk through the door and know like, Okay,
this where I'm supposed to be. Whether you show up
at ten or you show up at twelve, it's something for.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
You to do, right. Yeah, yes, I love Listen. I'm
not so excited. I'm glad I'll be there. I'm looking
forward to it. I think that it's amazing to have
something like this because, like you said, when you go
on vacation, you want to do certain things. Those excursions
be lit. So I cannot wait to see what'll y'all
(30:21):
putting together. I know it's gonna be a beautiful thing. So,
Miss Pamela, what what do you want people to feel
when they come to the brunch?
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Well, I tell you, when I think about the event,
kind of think about when when a group of friends
get together and they planning a sleepover and they plan
all these activities they want.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
To do during the sleepover and have.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
All this fun all night long over during the sleepover,
but of course, instead of a sleepover, it's gonna be
a day over. It's gonna be during the daytime, and
like I said, Erra said, a staycation, you know, and
just really everyone coming walking in feeling completely comfortable, completely relaxed,
(31:07):
feeling like they are amongst women that they have known
their entire life. Like Simone said, she and I met
each other on social media and when I was that
was before any of this, you.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Know, came to be.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I actually reached out to her and I asked if
I could call her, and we kind of had a
conversation about something. Then she and I just started conversating
and we were on the phone for like almost an hour,
you know, talking as if we had known each other
for a while.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
So I want, you know, women to come and just.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Feel that like they are amongst women that they have
known their entire lives. They are with their friend groups
where they can really truly be relaxed. They don't have
to feel tense or embarrassed or ashamed about anything. They
can be completely relaxed and comfortable and enjoy themselves to
the fullest, enjoy every activity and just not be bashful
(31:55):
and just let it all loose and just have fun.
If that's hotel, tell the people when it is how
they can get tickets and come and be a part
of this event.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Okay, I guess it's March fifteenth, and that's a Saturday morning,
and it starts at ten like we said until and
it's at the Reimagined Woman Center. That's a seventy six
hundred airline highway, and they can get tickets at www
dot Weekend hyphengirl dot com.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Got it, And all of this information would be in
the show notes, guys, so you don't have an excuse.
You can go rewind, re listen however you want to
do it, and you will have it, or just look
at the show notes and read it and click on
the link, because I will have that available for you, guys.
But I love I love the concept behind it. I
love the concept behind the Weekend Girl. And so let's
(32:55):
talk about the importance of forming community and sisterhood because
we talk about the hatefulness and the back burning and
gossip and you know, just cat fighting and stuff all
the time. We see it on social media and things
like that. I don't partake in any of that. If
I can't uplift my sister, then you know, I'm gonna pray.
We ain't got to be friends, but I don't have
(33:17):
nothing bad to say. You ain't got to be in
my circle and have to be in yours. But I'm
gonna still ask God to lead your path. That's just
how I've always been having that community and sisterhood. What
do you guys think about the importance of forming that
because we all need that, whether we want to believe
it or not. God didn't put us here to be
alone in life.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Out of all those things that you didn't name that
you didn't say this one thing as a sisterhood what
this is what I see a lot of And I
work hard myself personally to impart on people, especially women,
that this is not the way and it's not the
way it's supposed to be. I see a lot of gatekeeping. Mh,
(34:00):
you have gatekeeping. And you can't put gatekeeping and sisterhood
in the same sentence, in the same paragraph, the same conversation,
same discussion. You cannot You cannot be a gatekeeper and
say that you are if you want sisterhood, that you
want to create opportunities for sisterhood to happen. You cannot
(34:20):
empower other women if you are a gatekeeper. So what
sisterhood and community looks like to me is you being
your sister's keeper, not a gatekeeper. I am my sister's keeper.
Anybody that anybody, you can't find one person on the
face of this earth that's ever text me, call me
or email me and ask me how to do something,
how to get something, how to find something, And I
(34:43):
didn't tell them. If I knew personally, I'm going to
help you. I'm going to show you. If I don't know,
then I'm going to connect you to the person that
can help you. That's what sisterhood looks like. We have
to be our sister's keeper. And that means not in
the good times, but in the bad times and in
between times, all times. I'm a firm believer that no
(35:03):
matter what's going on, I'm gonna go back a little bit.
I'm a firm believer. Then what's for Simon's for Simone?
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (35:10):
And I think that's where we get caught up as women.
We're so afraid that if I tell her this or
I share this with her, then she's going to do
better than me, She's going to be higher than me.
But I feel like if I help you, and you
get to where I can't with this, then you'll reach
back and you'll pull me up with you. And you know,
(35:32):
people consistently, you know. I hear women say that, you know,
everybody can't go with you, you know, And to some
extent I believe that. But to some extent I believe that,
for the most part, most of my sisters can come
with me. But you gotta be willing to be a
part of a true sisterhood. I'm gonna give you a
(35:53):
an example about sisterhood. And we don't these two lates
anything that I do. They support me. We've been since
we were five years old. We've been friends forty eight years.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
We have never had an argument, We've never been angry,
we never had a spat where we go and not
talk to each other. Now we don't talk to each
other every day, we don't see each other every day,
but we have a group text that we text at
least maybe once a day or once every other day.
We see each other, we do things together. But another
thing we have to also know as women, what's the
(36:28):
true definition of friendship? Is friendship and sisterhood All those
two words they are intertwined and we don't know what
it really is, what it really means to be a
friend for me, And like ms Pam said, we're all different.
But for me, what friendship is it's far to be
there when I really need you. You been at my
house every day does not make you my friend, right,
(36:52):
you know, us talking on the phone every day does
not make me. But when I lost my mother, that's
my friend. When my daughter have lost her father and
my friend, those two women were there. You know, when
when Lisa lost her dad, we were there. When our friend,
when when Patricia lost her husband two years ago, we
were there. You know, that's when you're there. So we
(37:13):
got to be our sister's keeper in the good, the bad,
and the ugly. And that's what sisterhood and community means
to surmount.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
And I love, I loved something that you say about
believing that not everybody can come with you to a
certain extent. But I believe that, yeah, not everybody's gonna
be able to come with you along the journey, because
God would give you the journey to go and set
the pace or set that pathway for other people to
follow so they won't have to go through some of
(37:43):
the things that you encounter because he gave you that
strength to endure, and so they they can see, Okay,
if Kiki went and she didne had all this going
on and she made it through, she done let that
pathway for me. So I'm good because I know she
waiting on on the other side, waiting for me on
the other side. So let's just go that way. So
(38:04):
I believe that. Yeah, now everybody can go walk on
that journey as you go, but that don't mean that
they can't follow as you leave.
Speaker 3 (38:12):
And I agree with you wholeheartedly on what you just
said because I look at so many women that I
see have overcome so much. That's encouragement to me. It
may not be quite the same situation, but you know,
all the women, you know, I can name many women
that I encounter every single day of my life. And
(38:32):
you know, people like Danita Tate, people like Liz Robinson.
You know, those are women that have had tremendous loss,
but they still get up every day and they go
and they encourage. I heard Liz Robinson lost her son
about five six years ago to violence. They interviewed her,
(38:56):
and I watched her interview when she said, even through
her her in her loss. Since her son was killed,
she has went to over two hundred mothers, been there
for them even through her own grief, in her own loss,
she was able to be those their keeper, the keeper
(39:16):
for those women. So people that do things that encourages me,
I don't know how. I've never lost a child, so
I have no clue. But I don't know how she's
able to do that because it's like she's reliving it.
He's literally relived it over two hundred times.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
And she is one of the ones that I will
say that God gave her something special, Yes, before those
other women that she's slept, you know, pour into to
help them get over their grief in the midst of
her own. I love I love how she so she
she is so passionate about sharing the news, and she
is leaving that legacy of her son, you know, his
(39:53):
memory is it lives on through her constantly speaking about
him and helping up women get through it. And just
I just I love seeing her on social media, and
you know she was on the podcast as well. But yeah,
I love that. That was a great example from what
I would I would she would be the face of
what I just said about going for us to help
us along the way.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
Absolutely, definitely, What.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
About you, miss Pammela about the community and sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Wow, so mone just says so much, it's hard to
top that about But I tell you one thing that
I definitely think about, which I really believe a lot
of women are concerned about this when they think about
sisterhood and developing relationships, is genuine relationships. Genuine relationships, you know,
(40:46):
ensuring that, you know, as we develop relationships and build sisterhoods,
that we're really truly genuine in our intentions, you know,
genuine when we were you know, assisting someone when we're
giving praise and adorations and that advice, when someone you
know feels that they can come to us with confidential
information for advice, being true to that genuine nature, you know,
(41:13):
if you have built this relationship in a sisterhood, a
person shouldn't have to in the back of their mind
wonder if you are expressed in concern but laughing on
the inside, or if you are expressed in concern but
then they're good, they have they're gonna have to be
concerned about hearing something from someone else because their confidential
(41:33):
information was shared.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Wouldness shouldn't have been.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Or you know, they they hear that this person who
they thought really truly had to bond with them really
was kind of you know, happy and basting in what
they're dealing with. It is really being genuine in our relationships, right,
And in order to be genuine you have in that relationship,
you have to be genuine in your heart.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
So it all starts.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
There, yeap, what's inwardly? All right? See our closes out
about that sisterhood and community.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
I think it's unconditional. You have to lead in that way.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
So what I you know, the group of friends that
I do have, they know me, I know them and
even when they don't speak or when even when we
don't talk because I don't talk to my my friends
every day, but when I do, we always know before
they even open them outh. And so I think that
particular gifting or relationships should be throughout our sisterhood to
(42:39):
where they don't have to say a word. We should
just know, you know, what type of love that they
need or what type of need there is in the room,
and being able to meet that need without without it
being anything else, you know, like no no strings attached,
nothing that you had to do, nothing you had to
(42:59):
say to me nothing.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
You know, if you need it, then I have it.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
So I think having that type of mindset in that
aspect would be more beneficial within the sisterhood than like
we said, we call it gatekeeping and you know, all
of the things that come with that, the guardedness that
some of us may have. I think those things are
more important than.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
How we see it today.
Speaker 1 (43:27):
Right, I love it, I love it. But this has
been an amazing episode you guys, thank you for coming
to kick with me. Have one final question. I just
want to ask you, guys, just to give your insight
or your input on this particular question for someone who
may be listening and just feel like they're alone when
it comes to embracing new faces of life, like knowing
(43:51):
that it's okay to each change, knowing its okay to evolve,
and knowing is okay to let go of the old
to embrace the new. So let's talk about that. Like,
what wed you say to someone who's listening about embracing
the new phases of life?
Speaker 2 (44:07):
You are not your experience, and your experienced does not
just find where you're going. And a lot of times
we have to be willing to accept the new knowing
that it's new and that whatever you dealt with in
the past is not going to be the determining factor
(44:27):
of how you move forward. I love it, Yes, definitely,
and being able to move into.
Speaker 4 (44:37):
Freely accepting the new.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
That's the only way we can be able to step
into that next phase, step in to those doors that
God has opened for us. You know. Without that, we're
going to be that same place, stagnant place, kind of
wondering what's next for me, what's out there for me?
You know, we just have to you know, let it
loose and just go forward. Just do it.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Absolutely, just go for it.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
I would say that just like I think Sierra and
Pam have said, you have to be able to allow
it to happen. You have to be at a place,
so I guess a point in your life in your journey,
uh here to know that it's time for a change.
And change is not always good. Uh sometimes change is
(45:25):
not necessarily a perfect But we have to be willing
to have that leap of faith. And it goes back
to faith, having faith. And I've come to the point
in life that whatever is, I know, whatever it's going
to be, I don't fight it, but you know, whatever's
going to happen, I allow it to happen. And I
just have faith in my My faith is you know,
(45:47):
I have faith in God. I used to not. I
used to not be that way, but as I've gotten older,
I've realized that sometimes that's the only truly what it is,
the only truly reliable even you know, man, you know,
man all disappoint you sometimes. Man. I used to hear
my grandmother said that all the time. And be honest,
I's wondering what that lady talking about. She said, man
(46:09):
and woman, she said, we'll disappoint you, we'll let you down.
But if you have faith in God, you know, the
faith the side of the size of a mustard seed.
And she's so right. And whatever it is that I
come up against, and because you know, if it's changed
or whatever the case may be, I just let go
and I embrace it. Uh, embrace changes. You know this
(46:30):
is good or bad?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
And it's a true statement. We all say, you know,
if even if it's lemons, I take it and make lemonade.
So yeah, Kiki, And if I can add one more thing.
There are too many people out there, especially when they
get older in life, they sit back and they go
through that what if could have, would have but could
have but didn't, would have but didn't?
Speaker 4 (46:53):
What if?
Speaker 1 (46:55):
Right? Absolutely, you don't want it. I mean, I know
we all we don't like to talk about death and
leaving this world or whatever, but it's inevitable. We all
have that cross to bear. So would you rather you
leave it all here and say, hey, I did everything
that I can to be the best version of myself
while I was here, or would you be like dang
(47:18):
living in regret or you know, in regret. And that's
one thing that I try to make sure that I
never live in regret. Yeah, I made some bad decisions,
but they have helped shape and mow me into the
person that I am today. So I'm able to talk
about it with my kids or my nieces and nephews
and things like that so that I can help them.
(47:38):
I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but because
sometimes people have to learn the hard way, but I'm
gonna be here to hold you and say, you know,
you know, what did you learn from that? Is? Let's
talk about it because I have a similar experience. You know,
I'm not one of those people that try to preach
and things like that, because everybody don't receive from that.
(47:59):
I'm not one of them to receive from that. But love,
I love all of the answers that your lady said.
This is like, I'm excited about season eight. If this
is the opener of season eight, it's gonna be a
great season. So I am excited about Blossom and brunch.
I cannot wait to be in the space with you
ladies and give you all a hug. And before we
(48:22):
get off, are there any last words that you would
like to leave the listeners with today?
Speaker 3 (48:28):
And this may seem a little said what's been said before,
but just learn to live, love and laugh. That's what
I've had to learn to do. Live, love and laugh
and live with no regrets and enjoy life. Life is
too short not to embrace it and love it. I
just want to say, you know, just like she said,
(48:51):
embrace the season, but also I don't know, like that
just keeps ringing like.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
You are not your experience, You're not what you've experienced,
and you know it's important that you know you're able
to embrace the newness, knowing that the experience that you
face can be something that you move past.
Speaker 4 (49:11):
Yes, Love, yourself.
Speaker 2 (49:12):
Love who you are, Embrace who you are, Celebrate who
you are.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Absolutely so with that being said, you guys have been
listening to another episode of Kicking In with Kiki, Life,
love and all that other shit.
Speaker 4 (49:27):
I am back.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Every Thursday with a new episode until next time. Love yourself,
embrace those new new beginnings you know, don't be afraid
to change and try something new. Grab your friends and
see us in March at this event. I want to
see y'all there. Information about the event is in the
show notes again and later Purple HUDs chick in it
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Well eight
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