Let’s Talk about Rough Sex-S05E05

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to mydungeon. Welcome to Cauldron Script. I'm
your host, Master Cauldron. Ifyou're new to the show, we as
are combined thirty five years of bDS I'm experience in my twenty years working
in the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes. Snatch your

(00:26):
questions about b DSM. Texting yourquestions and comments to eight sixty five two
six eight four zero zero five,or visit the script at cauldronscript dot com.
In this episode, Mayfair and Iare talking about rough sex. It's
all the rage those days. Huhso the only sex right? Oh?

(00:53):
You know, some people love tomake love, other people just want to
fuck, And whichever way you prefer, that's all good. Whatever makes you
happy. Man, So, uh, you got lost to say on this
topic. I may have a littleconversation. I don't know. Like,

(01:15):
I watched a movie last night andfor a person like me, it was
a little bit more sexual than itwas supposed to be. And what movie
was that? That would be?Fast x I already posted on my fat
life if you guys follow me there. But Jess Mamoa plays the bad guy
a huge Mamoa fan in the generalkind of always liked the bad guys,

(01:37):
and he kind of does things thatlike make people who think blood is hot.
He does something in the movie thatmakes it very fun. My glasses
are already fogging up. Oh god, all right, well, we may

(01:59):
end up diving into the ad alittle bit deeper later in the show.
I want to say hello to thechat room, all the usual suspects popping
in June Corn's Angelaphreya Subacs thirteen,bad Cat, Hello to everybody, Papa
says Jason Momoa as a villain that'shot, Shadowy Fox, Hello, Hello,

(02:21):
he said he sees his he sawyour post. Mainfair. All right,
let's set those rules the lub Byand then jump on into this topic
on Hey, let's talk about somerough sex. So rules lub By I
brought to you by my Kinky woodworkingcompany Inclusion woodworks dot Com. Check that
out and follow a link to theEtsy store if there's anything there that you

(02:43):
want to purchase. Rules the lubBy rule number one safe saying, consentual
and informed. Rule number two kand KI that is kinky. It comes
from the Kinky app of Edible onall platforms They're not a sponsor, but
it stands for knowledge, no intolerance, kindness and integrity and rule number three
of the quote from mister Paul Young. Submission is not about authority and it

(03:05):
is not about obedience. It isall about relationships of love and respect.
Again, that is Reverend Paul Young. All right, So May twenty one,
twenty twenty three, let's talk aboutRough Sex, Season five, episode
number five. I've got an articlethat sparked this, and we are going

(03:30):
to dissect this. I'm gonna hitsome areas on this article. I cannot
post links on YouTube as we tooka strike community guideline strike a few weeks
ago and ended up not being ableto do a show on here on blood
Play, which we're going to revisitlater. But with that said, you

(03:58):
can go to couldron'script Slash five ohfive and you can find that length link
if you want to check out thearticle. That link is into description.
So this is kink talk, BDSMand manhandling. Never mind the so called
sex recession. Here's what horny youngpeople are getting up too in the bedroom

(04:23):
Life Words was where this was publishedby Brett Dawson on the sixteenth of May
twenty twenty three. The article comesfrom the Face dot com, not the
Face, so this was written inthe UK. There may be some terminology
in here that you don't know that. I don't know that. I can't
pronounce bearwidth. Just going to runthrough this and then we're going to dive

(04:46):
into bits and pieces. Mayfair isalways feel free to interrupt me if there's
something specific that you want to touchon. So, whether you're single and
slipping around or shacked up and livingvicariously through your mates wild dating lives,
you'll have likely heard that sex isgoing through a rough patch right now.

(05:06):
You might remember the fever dream thatwas Mattie Healy kissing fans on stage.
I don't remember that, don't evenknow who that is, which feels like
a decent indicator of a candidly kinkysexual climate. And although I've never read

(05:26):
it myself, I subscribe to thefairly mainstream view that this king of thing
is a direct result of a certainhorny mum book which has helped divide modern
sex into two distinct eras pre andpost fifty Shades of Grey. Now,

(05:46):
we unfortunately have talked about fifty Shadesof Gray ad nauseum on this podcast.
I am very, very sick ofthat conversation. However, it does play
into some key things here, andif you're thinking about checking out, don't
quite yet. We are going toget into some very deep things. There's

(06:09):
a whole generation of people, myselfincluded, who never had sex in a
world uninhibited by the twenty eleven eroticphenomenon. Granted, we weren't the target
audience for the franchise, and manyof us have probably never engaged with it,
but the fact remains. Despite ofbeing naff poorly written. So I've

(06:29):
heard and derided by BDSM practitioners whoaccuse it of presenting the kink as a
pathology and conflating it with abuse,Fifty Shades absolutely brought BDSM into mainstream consciousness,
even if portrayed, even if itportrayed it badly, I absolutely agree
with that. Of Course, it'snot the only reason kink practices are more

(06:57):
publicly prevalent. Now. We've gotInternet porn, social media, dating apps,
and pop culture in general to thinkfor that. But fifty Shades has
been hugely influential, not only interms of the sex we have today,
but also the way we talk aboutit even subconsciously. Basically Christian Gray walked

(07:18):
so you could do a bit oflight spanking in bed and post about it
to kink talk afterwards. More.Yeah, yeah, they've done away with
kink Talk, haven't they. Yes, well, it's they're trying to make
a comeback. But I have somany like people. I was looking through

(07:41):
trying to find a user I follow, and I saw so many deactivated accounts
that were all the kink accounts fromwhen I first kind of started playing in
TikTok, like it's twenty twenty one. Yeah, there are so many of
them have been banned now they've hadto move to other platforms because talk just

(08:01):
says noope, you can't even saysex education. Yeah yeah, I just
found that out on YouTube. Apparentlywe can't say that here too. Uh
well, I mean we're going toeven with the name of this one on
YouTube. It may get taken down, but yeah, we'll find out the

(08:26):
next couple of weeks. Okay,maybe that's a little reductive, this article
says, but there are stats toback it up. This is interesting.
Twenty fifteen data links, twenty twelveand twenty thirteen spikes and sex Toy injuries
to the publication of Fifty Shades ofGreat Then, following the release of the
film, BDSM, related searches onporn hub skyrocketed. Later stats point to

(08:50):
the popularity of rough sex more specifically, which falls under the umbrella BDSM,
with twenty eighteen research finding that ughssex is one of the two most common
things people fantasize about. More recently, eighty percent of participants in a twenty
twenty one study said that they wereinto rough sex. Horn Hope statistics seem

(09:15):
to support this. Rough sex pornis considered is consistently popular, particularly with
women ages eighteen to thirty four,and with Brits We may be an island
of ba shit traditions, but atleast working here than other nations. Even
though rumors of a sex recession,which came from the pandemic that's not in

(09:39):
the article, that's me stating thathave been swirling around the Internet for the
last couple of years. It feelsgood to know the sex we're having is
at least a little rough around theedges. So fifty Shades aside, what
makes us also horning for rough sex? And what does that look like for
young people in the UK. SoI want to go back and say that

(10:01):
links to these studies are in thefull article. So if you want to
see those studies for yourself, likeI did, check out the the full
article there and you'll be able todo that again. Culture script dot Com
slash five of five. I thinkI've got that page live. I hope.

(10:24):
If not, I'll get it upby Monday morning or Monday afternoon.
Sorry, what would you say?I said? You said you will get
it up. We're talking about sex? Oh lord, h so freaking hot.

(10:45):
Apparently somebody's hacked my account and thatwas post me see how it says
Mayfair? Oh gotcha? Okay,what are you saying? Hot too?
Jason Momoa as a villain is hot? Oh yeah, just here, Yeah,

(11:07):
definitely. Jeannie got the giggles overthat too. Over men, get
it up. And then Shadowy said, imagine that injuries after fifty shades of
gray, right, which is someof the things that we're going to talk
about anyway. Sorry, I'm allright. Probably the squirrel today totally.

(11:31):
Okay, A little fustrated you are, so fifty shades aside. Twenty two
year old David from Milton Keynes hasbeen having rough sex since losing his virginity,
well the second time he ever hadsex. What does he consider to
be rough? Remember this is thisarticle is pointed at people eighteen to thirty

(11:54):
four. Uh, what does heconsider to be rough? Choking, hair
pulling, face slapping, fingers inthe mouth, manhandling, throwing your partner
around, holding them down, andhard, fast, deep sex. He
says, I'm into the power,the control, the possession of it all.

(12:16):
Vanilla sex is passionate, yes,but you're physically pushing yourself and your
partner to the brink with rough sex. I like to watch them, watch
those limits knowing I'm breaking them.It's a power trip for me. It
doesn't sound very healthy. I hopehe doesn't mean he's actually breaking someone's limits.

(12:43):
I wonder. I don't know ifhe's If he means he's breaking his
own or someone else's, but thingsare definitely being broken. Neither one is
good. Yeah. I mean it'scool to push your own limits for yourself,
or if your partner and you havetalked beforehand they want to push through

(13:05):
limits, but not just doing itfor fun. That sounds kind of toxic.
Yeah. Remember those of you who'vebeen around for a long time,
been around my show, been aroundthe scene. Subacts thirteen says, kind
of, kind of concerning Junie hadsaid it sound good until breaking the limits.

(13:30):
Yes, hey Kinky Jay, HeyLily. But we I started this
thing now as a one oh one. So I'm hoping that some of these
younger people or newer people are goingto hear this, are going to dive

(13:52):
into this. Maybe you'll come upin a Google search for ussex and they'll
be like, oh, this,listen to that, So we are going
to dive into it. Well,I'm almost done with this article. It's
not that long, all right.So dynamic isn't always this gendered? The

(14:16):
dynamic is Oh wait, I missedI skipped Phoebe. What did Phoebe have
to say? London based Phoebe says, and she's twenty five, takes on
a more submissive role during rough sex. She says, I suppose I'm into
all the entry level BDSM stuff likeslapping, spitting, hitting and really degrading

(14:39):
talk like being called disgusting or aslut. On the surface level, I
like the intensity of feelings, howextreme and passionate it all feels, and
how you're forced to be really intothe moment, focusing on pain versus pleasure
on a deep level. And I'myet to talk to my therapist about this.

(15:05):
Liking rough sex could have something todo with the feeling with feeling like
you should be punished for wanting sex, which in turn makes it hotter because
you feel like you're doing something wrong. Taboo fetish much. Let's just say
it feels like she maybe has beenbrought up very religious, I mean,

(15:28):
could be, or just that general. I mean even the vanilla world people
teach their kids. I mean evenjust describing your private parts, well,
they're private. That's something not tobe shared or with anyone else, and
it leads that's like immediate body shamingverbiage. So yeah, the dynamic isn't

(15:52):
always this gender though. In fact, the bondage category femdom has one of
porn hobbs twenty categories worldwide in twentytwenty two. Twenty five year old Raina
from Portsmouth, for example, isa dominant whose definition of rough sex is
a little more extreme. I reallylike blood, she says. An X

(16:15):
really hated the back tattoo he hadgotten years ago, so I attached sword
razor blades to a cat and eyetails, whip and spun it as slow
as I could, brushing battails acrosshis back and drawing blood. It was
brilliant. Well, even if we'renot going so far as to make our

(16:41):
lover's bleed, more of us aredefinitely choking or getting choked during sex,
as per recent surveys. This isgreat if you're into it doing so consensually,
but it seems this isn't always thecase. Yes, porn probably does
have an influence, but despite whatanti porn crusaders would like us to believe,

(17:04):
it is more likely sex misinformation andlack of comprehensive sex education that's really
to blame. Until twenty, UKcourts allowed perpetrators of violent crimes to use
the rough sex or fifty shades defenseto claim the injury or death often inflicted

(17:25):
by a strangulation, was an accidentalresult of rough sex gone wrong. I
did not know that that is notallowed in the United States. More at
least it wasn't that. I don'tknow. We need to get ladies still

(17:45):
back on attorney Lady, still talkto her about this. If you're interested
in rough sex then, particularly onthe more extreme end of things, like
consensual non consent, it's important todo proper research before you get too far
or too excited. Watching porn doesn'tcount as research. Watching porn does not

(18:07):
count as research for any type ofsex. Yeah, do not learn your
swerve from porn because you don't seeall of the prep or aftercare that goes
into a rough consensual encounter. Butthere are plenty of online kink schools that
can guide you instead. That's actuallyone thing kink dot com does pre and

(18:30):
post interviews for their where they discusssafe words and everything else, and they
show that on their on their pornwhich I would be interested to see if
they could give the actual breakdown ofhow much of the video is skipped through

(18:52):
and how many people just disregard thebeginning and the end of that. Yet
porn hub could do that. Theycan come up with the exact same statistics
as YouTube, which is amazing howdetailed it can be, but I doubt

(19:15):
they would ever release it, unfortunately. I'm with you, though, I
want to know. You know,actually it may surprise you. We might
both of us. We might besurprised about how many people actually watch that
chat room. Would y'all watch that? Would y'all watch the interviews. And

(19:38):
the reason I say that is becauseit's so humanizing and a lot of people
like they're into the porn stars andall of that, but they want to
see the human side of them aswell. And for a lot of people,
humanizing them turns them on, whereaslike rapists and murderers, to humanize

(20:04):
one of their victims turns them off. So it can be a sign of
healthy mind if they're wanting to humanizethem. And watch those, watch the
intros and the utros. The moreyou know it could be. There's absolutely

(20:25):
no definence there all right. Still, plenty of people are safely, consensually
and roughly engaging in bds and behindclosed doors or wherever else. This boom
could be a result of the increasednormalization of casual sex with strangers, which
has helped open up a new worldof sexual experiences for many, which is

(20:48):
partly fueled by kink specific apps likefield fee l D for Phoebe and just
a few more lines here for Phoebe, having rough sex in the scenario in
these scenarios is more accessible than slowloving relationship esque sex because it feels less

(21:15):
personal, so she feels she's ableto let loose and enjoy casual hookups more.
Also, shagging strangers is often accompaniedby drinking, which itself is a
lubricant for more adventurous, riskier sex. Then we have the after effects of

(21:36):
the pandemic to contend with. Maybewe're all indulging in some post lockdown sex
party era hedonism, responding to ourmonth's long boredom and for some celibacy with
wild, passionate and intensely tactile sex. Blah blah blah. I don't think
there's really anything else here to getinto. It goes into other possibilities and

(22:06):
whatever. But all right, soMayfair, you've already answered this, But
do you like it rough? Yes? Why? I don't know, It's
always been that way before fifty shades. I've been having sex before fifty shades.

(22:33):
I mean, I don't know.It's a god year old. I
know, I'm almost forty. Ijust think for me, there's very few
occasions where vanilla sex is fun.I just I've never really found it very

(22:59):
entertaining. So I think we needto talk about the good, the bad,
and the ugly here and chat room, as I always feel free to
chime in tell us what you thinkthe good, the bad, and the
ugly is about this rough sex crazeand what people need to know. Obviously,

(23:22):
I'm going to talk about choking,because that's a big thing. Choking
somebody untill they pass out. Yeah, that may be hot, choking somebody,
not to make them pass out.Choking somebody for three seconds can kill
them. It is the most undereducated thing that there is and seems to

(23:45):
be one of the first things thatpeople do. You got a smack on
the ass, a hair pull maybein reverse order, and then choking.
As people are getting into this stuff, and I mean that is really really,
that's like diving into the shallow endfrom outer space. I mean,

(24:11):
my ex have talked about him.So like the first guy I had sex
with, like he understood the assignmentwith the choking, Like I didn't know.
I This guy was the first guyI had even kissed. I had
no fucking clue what was going on, just going along for the ride.

(24:33):
But then like I moved on toanother the next relationship. But he eventually
figured out that I might be aperson who likes to be choked. But
he didn't get it, and Ididn't know enough myself to understand how to
even guide him. Like he's likepressing on the front of my throat,
like shoving me down into the mattresslike that. This is not no,

(25:00):
stop, I can't stop like it. There was pressure right on the front,
which is like absolutely terrible. Yeah. I didn't know that then,
but it was. Yeah, Ididn't know how to even I was just
like, yeah, let's not dothat. I'll bet Nope, nope,
No, it's fine, don't don'tworry about it. Yeah, if that's

(25:22):
what it is, then that's bad. Uh. Go back to Field fe
Ld that app. Guinicorn's Angel saysField is no different than other dating apps
in her opinion, same cheaters andunicorn hunters, and people are not actually
active in their communities, so firsthandaccount they're from from a very trusted source.

(25:48):
Lola Chaos says that there's a lotof horror stories and rough sex and
consent violations. It's important to becautious and potential partners. Yep. Of
course we put a lot of stockin the vetting process, but they can
only tell you so much, andyou know, people are really good at

(26:08):
fooling other people. I still thinkyou should vet but you should not fill
one hundred percent safe just because youvetted somebody know what you're getting into as
best you can. Absolutely, AndI think that in this culture, I
think is going to be difficult becauseit's all online dating and you you talk

(26:37):
and then you hook up and thenyou may man, i'd ever see these
people again, So like it's youknow, this isn't something I do.
But I have a good friend ofmine after she was in a relationship.
She's on the Bumble and the Tenderand all of the different like hook up
apps, and she's meeting new guylike every other week or something and talking

(27:03):
like five or six of them atthe same time, and she'll just like
go meet them, like hey,we're gonna meet on this road and they'll
like have sex in the back ofthe truck and then see you. So
I think it's it's gonna be difficultto really be able to explain how to
be safe when people don't even reallywant to know your last name. Yeah,

(27:29):
And I'm not trying to say don'tdo it. It's just in this
culture where it's just a quick hookupand you move forward with or without that
person, you're looking at a lotmore risk Yeah, and literally says something
very important, safe calls. Ihave learned that the young people are adopting

(27:52):
that practice a little bit more.I would like to see it a lot
more adopted, but safe calls.Think full, you're being done now,
at least to some degree. Icould not get her to do that.
Yeah, I'm thankful she's still alive. Some people have a death wish,
you know, they may not realizeit. And to get into the psychology

(28:18):
behind that, there are also certainmental illnesses psychiatric disorders that will create a
need for risk taking as it canhelp people develop their personalities or momentarily feel

(28:41):
that they have a personality to linkto. So yeah, well let's let's
dive out of the safety concerns.So I asked you you like it?
Why you like it? What wouldyou define as rough sex? I mean,

(29:21):
does it go beyond or does itgo as deep as just the spanking,
the hair pulling, scratching, yes, clawing, yes, pinching.
M hmm yeah, not as bigof a fan, but sure tickling.

(29:42):
Hate it that. That's not sexualto me at all. Like that takes
me back to being a little kidand being like stuck being tickled like I
don't those like couldn't be further fromeach other. For me, If you're
tickling me, I am not atall feeling sexy we're sexual. I'm just
like the fuck are you doing?Get away? I need to stop this.

(30:03):
I don't like it because to actuallytickle me it cause it hurts.
If you try to tickle me likegently, it doesn't do anything. You
have to really like push hard,and it causes pain as well as makes
me laugh uncontrollably. But because I'mlaughing, nobody realizes how much it hurts.
And it's not a fun hurt.It's not the good pain. I
don't like it. I hate beingtickled. But like the guy was having

(30:33):
sex with he basically was using meas like a pseudo person for his ex,
like he had a lot of angerand rage against her, and he
was taking it out on me becauseI was like, you're not gonna sucking
hurt me and he's like, yesI will. I'm like, no,

(30:55):
I promise. And he was ahe was a big guys, like six
four or six five, and likehis hand is the side the palm of
his hand is size my face andhe grabs my right right above my hips
and squeezes to the point where helike touches his hands together. I'm not
a small girl, okay, Iam not a tiny girl. And he

(31:18):
was squeezing that hard and I waslike, I'm there for it. It
was fun sex. She's always great, like that was a okay And he's
like, are you sure you're okay. He's like, I feel like I
like really kind of hurt you.And I'm like, no, I'm good.
That was great, and he's justlooking at me like I'm like a
monster or something. I've revealed amask or something, because he's like,

(31:41):
how did that not hurt you?He's like, I didn't mean to get
that carried away? And I'm like, I fuck, I was I'm good.
My legs are a little shaky,bit hey, hell yeah, that's
just good sex to me. Ishould be a little shaky at that point.
I know, like for me,just mixing the pain just I actually

(32:09):
enjoy it. I don't enjoy likestingy pain, and I don't enjoy all
the pain, but I don't know. There's like a a violent streak that
I like about it. I likethe violence and the forcefulness. I like
feeling I like feeling the out ofcontrol and just whatever is happening, it's

(32:32):
happening, and I'm just getting togo along. I don't have to think,
I don't have to feel. Ijust experience. I like cutting,
like actual cutting or like what wedo with like knife play. Yeah,
that would go under scratching, actualcutting. Never never done that. Biting,

(32:57):
Yeah, it's yeah, like mediumhard. I mean I've had bruises
from bites that have lasted over amonth from I don't know someone who might
be on the show with me.What about biting to the point of drawing
blood. We have never had that, although if it was more intense than

(33:19):
the one where you like bit andshook your head like a dog, I
might not like that because that wasthat was that one was kind of that
was the ones that like I hadthat mark. Therefore, I don't know
what three four months. I'm notcomplaining it just that was almost too much.
I was like, whoa, Like, I'm not saying it was bad.

(33:42):
It was just that like close toyellow wine, high up on the
yellow I was like, oh,I didn't expect that, Okay, the
promise side, Yeah, and pleasedon't take it as any kind of insult,
Like I mean, I had asore spot for quite a while.
It was you know, it's afun reminder. I like being able to

(34:06):
you feel the next day that Ihad sex. I enjoy that. Oh
I have a source spot from sex. I like it. It kind of
keeps that hot, happy endorphin.I guess going like who, I can
push the pain button and I canremember all the fun. So to get
into some of the deep or theconversation that that one of them touched on

(34:30):
about the I guess it was thefirst guy that we talked about. I
don't remember his name from the article, the one that talked about breaking limits.
David Uh, Yeah, I wasthat who that was. So he
says, it talks about deep,fast, rough sex, just the roughness
of the sex itself, so thevanilla love making, that slow passion and

(35:00):
that people think about that happens inrom coons and whatnot, versus turning somebody
into a pretzel and going for abruised cervix. You talk about filling it
for you talk about feeling it fordays. Bruises all the way, so

(35:24):
with without like the pulling, thehair pulling, the spanking, the choking,
the biting, the scratching. Wouldyou consider just that in itself one
aspect of sexual BDSM without the bitingscratching just like hard fast text, Yeah,

(35:53):
I guess, I mean maybe,I don't know, yeah, because
like, for would that depend onintent, like if if that was the

(36:15):
intention, like to hurt and toexperience hurt during that act, because I
mean, what about a quickie?Where would that fall? Because I mean
quickie the theory behind that is likeyou you gotta go to the thing as
fast as you can and be done. That generally would be really quick fast.

(36:38):
But I don't think quickies are consideredkink. Yeah, so I don't
know, but I'm also possibly notthe best reference. So like no,
I mean, actually that doesn't matterbecause everybody has an opinion on it.
And the reason that I ask becauseI've heard people talk about it like that's

(36:59):
there, that's their version of ofrough and that's fine, Like Okay,
that's rough, But is that BDSMAnd I have to say no, like,
in my opinion, not really withthe exception of the intent of it,
the intent of the experience itself andwasn't negotiated like it's I don't believe

(37:22):
that it's BDSM. If there's nonegotiation, you know, I think it's
something else, whether it be abuseor you know, just a wild time,
but negotiation is part of it.And if that isn't happening, then
it's something else. And I thinkthat's part of the education process, something

(37:44):
that I've never talked about before,Like if it's something that you want to
participate in, yes, I've talkedabout negotiation, but it's that important.
Like if you want to say thatyou practice this, then practice it all
the way, right, I cansee that, Yeah, chat, what
do you what do you think?Go ahead? And I was just and

(38:05):
I never really thought about it thatway, but I hadn't either until just
now. We like the first guy, like we didn't really talk about how
we were gonna have sex, honestly, other than the one guy where we
were talking about where he like switchedto my sides, Like we didn't really
discuss that. He's just he kindof felt challenged to try to make me

(38:29):
tap out, and I was like, you're not gonna get everybuddy, because
we kind of had that kind ofplayful play fight kind of like we'd been
friends forever, so like I'd knownthis guy for better than ten years now,
like we'd finally He'd always talk shitand I would always call him,

(38:50):
call his bluff, and finally Iactually called his bluff and like met him
where he said to meet. He'slike, well, fuck, I guess
we're really doing it, aren't mean? Sure? Here we go. So
Denali, welcome to the chat.Welcome to the show, says new here
and to the community. Have enjoyedrough sex for years and attempting to grow

(39:14):
responsibly. The things I'm seeing spawnfrom spicy book talk is so dangerous.
I am not familiar with book talk. I've I've left TikTok behind may Fair.
Are you familiar with book talk?I am I may or may not
be reading a book from there currently. Oh okay, Well, for those

(39:35):
like me that don't know, Imean, it's you have to consider that
the books are just like, well, the books are the same kind of
stuff as like fifty Shades of Gray, more or less, most of them
are actually better written in the likeit's not hard. I mean, you

(40:01):
know, they're they're written by someonewho actually has an idea of how to
write a book. They're not necessarilybetter written as someone who is involved in
the b DSM world. Yeah,just so you'll get a lot of spicy
books, but they're not BDSM booksor one person's fantasy. I mean,

(40:28):
I don't think just one person's fantasy, because there's a lot of us who
like those books. But it's consentisn't necessarily a topic. A lot of
the books from spicy groups more orless go along the lines of, hey,

(40:50):
this situation pops up and one wayor another, the heroine ends up
being raped, and then they endup falling in love with the raper.
Like what was one hundred and eightyDays? I don't know that movie?
Yea, yeah, yeah, terriblemovie. Every basically was a BDSM movie

(41:12):
and it wasn't it was a Stockholmsyndrome. God, I haven't watched it.
But there's this equel coming. Well, it's that's why I say one
person's fantasy. You know, it'sit's well known, well studied. Uh.
Women, A large percentage of womenhave raped fantasies, but their fantasies,

(41:37):
the vast, vast, vast majorityof the women who have those kind
of fantasies don't want to be raped. Some do due to some severe illnesses
psychological problems that you know, needto be addressed. But the vast majority,

(42:00):
you know, we're talking less thanone percent of people that have that
fantasy actually wanted to happen to them. Uh. So that's why I say
a lot of these like fifty Shades, I mean that was written as her
own fantasy. But yeah, anyway, sorry, go ahead. No,

(42:22):
it's just that that's kind of thekind of book you're looking at. And
the reason I was saying earlier,I don't know that I'm the best source
for kink versus vanilla. So whenI don't know about boys, I think
boys being more of a visual type, are going to look for Dad's playboy,

(42:43):
right as like or the Sears catalogas we've discussed, or is wing
into my sad childhood. Well no, like several other guys real like hell
yeah, And I mean, ifI'm being honest, I felt something when
those catalogs would come out, Iwould be looking at the lingerie and myself.
And so the potential that I mayor may not be bisexual has been

(43:07):
there for a long time. Wejust don't acknowledge it because I don't know
yet. But books like I weended up in the trailer I lived in
for some reason or another everyone.Three of us would end up moving rooms
all the time, and so therewere just boxes that stayed in different rooms

(43:30):
because nobody actually access those boxes.So in one of the boxes, my
grandmother had books, romance books.So after I discovered reading, I start
looking into these books and I'm like, this is fucking boring. Throw that
book out. The only books atthirteen that I was finding that found interesting

(43:53):
were the Rape Fall in Love Stepsseries. You get all harlequin romance novels
kind of fabio on the front.I don't think any of these had fabio.
They could have. I don't reallylook at the picture on the front

(44:14):
because I like to imagine the personbecause whether they say that he's pale and
blonde, he's got dark skin anddark hair. For me, because that's
just my kink, I just ignorethe word blonde. So I don't like
the cover. Let me, letme hit a few of these comments.
I'm sorry, no, no,be fine, Lily says, what if

(44:36):
there is a power exchange at playand it's hard and rough, then yes,
that would be BDSM Yeah. Iagree. That gets into the definite
definition of it. Clear consent Ithink makes it whether or not it's actually
PDSM or not. Yeah, likewe discussed it, we agreed to it.

(45:00):
Way to stop it. Mhm yep. Jens corns Angel says, I
like all the rough foreplay, biding, spanking, slapping, scratching, et
cetera, but I don't love cervixpounding, and make that clear. I
communicate that. But I don't docasual sex. So by the time I'm

(45:20):
doing the deed, I have negotiatedmost acts. Negotiation is for play and
in badcat says yes, as aboy, I was very interested in serious
catalog Jesus, those were boring,Juny. For some of us, that

(45:42):
was all we got. Unless somebodymaybe he's talking about my books, The
Heart, the romance novels. Oh, not the serious catalogs. I don't
know, am I right, Juny? I think you're talking about book reading
books, not picture book. Yeah, I don't know. I mean,
like you said, guys are veryvisual. Yeah, and I'm not like

(46:05):
just a picture book. I'm notlike dissing that at all. It's just
yeah. No, some of us, that's all we had to go on.
We had religious parents who didn't getplayboys, but we got the Wish
Book from Sears. Every one OctoberNovember when the Wish book come out.
I think it was probably right aroundThanksgiving. But anyway, there was something

(46:31):
else that I wanted to hit onreal quick, and I don't remember.
So let's go to think some peopleand maybe it will come to me or
something will come to Mayfair. Sowe are value for value, which means
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(46:52):
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(47:15):
address is down below. But ourcurrent producers master producer at fifty dollars a
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(47:35):
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(48:22):
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(48:50):
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This is we're getting into your lastopportunity here to to come to the event

(50:01):
that I am hosting for the producersonly that is July eighth in Knoxville,
Tennessee. You have to be aPatreon producer to come to that. It's
free, you just have to payfor getting here. Mayfair, I believe
can help people out with arrangements onfinding a place to stay. If you

(50:22):
want to contact her for that myGoogle. Huh, call my Google,
call her Google? And what isthat number? Oh? I put it
in discord. Oh okay, yeah, so it's so it's in discord.
Again. You do have to bea Patreon producer to get into discord at

(50:44):
this point. And yeah, sothere's going to be it starts at one.
There'll be a free dinner and theevent is free. God, We've
got painting a downcoming which has abig camper so it's air conditioned, and

(51:05):
be some black light paints, bodypaints and whatnot to splash around in there
and may end up turning into anorgy in there, who knows. Plus
dungeon time. There'll be classes.Are very own Boots Some and Shadowy Fox
are both going to be teaching classesthere. I'll be teaching some classes.
We'll be having tasting booths. It'sgoing to be a lot of fun for

(51:30):
those of you who are current Patreonproducers. I'm going to post one final
time. I need a final countof who all is coming and if you're
going to be bringing a plus oneso be sure to respond to that.
Look for that this week because Ihave to organize the food, the catered

(51:52):
food there and figure out what we'regoing to do. So Cairo Cairo teras
me, Hey, hey, yesyou are a producer? Did I not?
I said your name? Didn't I? That's so I said, I
assume oh okay, yeah, he'son air at twenty five dollars. Producer

(52:13):
kiro So been been knowing him forquite a while now. He was actually
one of the first people. Itwas K two s O and Uh Cairo
was one of the was one ofthe first people that I UH taught to,
so longtime friends. All right again, there is a list of vengers

(52:35):
that we know, like Trusting News. None of them are paid sponsors.
However, they have offered up somecoupon codes. People love BDSM contracts dot
org and there is a twenty percentdiscount for that. Uh, if you're
thinking about doing a callering or needa contract, check her out. They
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(53:05):
are written like they are legally bindingdocuments, and which is really cool.
So yeah, do check those out. All right? You want my shirt?
Oh you want your shirt? Yeah, you'll get it. You should
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(53:29):
k U L d R I Ntwo zero with no space for BDSM contracts
dot org. So all right,back to talking about rough sex, so
the good stuff. Oh go ahead, Oh, Lily had I'm not sure

(53:49):
if there's a question or a commentin here, She said, I've had
several conversations recently about quote unquote roughsex and CNC, which is consensual non
consent end lines being crossed in themoment where people feel because they did it
once or they liked it, thenit wasn't a consent violation. Even if

(54:09):
you lie. For like rough sex, consent can be changed. Rough sex
isn't rough sex or fun. Andif you don't I'm hoping you mean,
if you don't consent, Yeah,it's abuse FYI for anyone who may feel
that way, because she's had severalpeople say this, consent counts yep.

(54:37):
However, if you're not in akink setting and you haven't discussed that,
that's where you're gonna potentially run intothose things because I don't think I actually
discussed consent probably for the first Idon't know, ten to twelve years I

(54:59):
was having sex. People don't andpeople people don't negotiate. They don't,
uh, which consent a negotiation gohand in hand. But I think probably
that's what people need to take outof this as the number one thing,
like talk about it and it Imean, it can be sexy, it

(55:20):
can be Junior always says, youknow, negotiation is for play, and
one hundred percent agree with that.Let's see for like, for me,
that's terrifying, like having to admitwhat I want is still to someone new,
it's terrifying, Like that scares mebecause like what if they think I'm

(55:40):
a freak. M I mean,I am a freak, But like what
if they like, can don't condemnme for that like I was before because
I like sex too much, thenthat's not meant to be. So it's
it's just I can see where thosethings get missed easily. I'm not saying

(56:02):
you should, just I can seehow it's easy to overlook that. Well.
One of the things that I thinkwe kind of skipped over in Lily's
comment was what percussio just percussio,Hello, miss you face so bad.

(56:25):
But she says, consent is fluid, and people forget that. Like we
can talk and talk and talk andtalk about everything that we're into and what
we're going to do, but inthe moment, whether it's due to a
physical illness, like you've talked abouta lot with having fibro and your body

(56:47):
sometimes just says no, fuck you, I'm not doing the thing. I
don't care how bad you want it. It can't happen. And it doesn't
have to be to any reason.If somebody says red or no or yellow
or whatever, you know, yellow, stop check in, see what's up?

(57:12):
Red means it all stops. Thefirst thing out of your mouth should
not be why. Like I wastalking with somebody the other day and they
said that, you know that wasthat was a thing, Like, well
why? The first thing should bechecking on them, making sure that they

(57:38):
are okay, that they feel safe, that they're not injured, that physically,
emotionally, psychologically, whatever, andyou know, starting an aftercare process
of some kind, and not justsaying, you know, well, why
are you calling red? That doesn'tmatter. Red has been called get your

(58:01):
ass and gear to make sure thatthey feel safe. That is the most
important thing. After that, afterafter care, then you can start diving
into it and figuring out, youknow what happened, and it's not why,

(58:24):
it's you know what, did somethinggo wrong? Did what happened that
caused you to call red? Whatyou know? And and wording it sincerely

(58:44):
and caringly and being genuine about it. And if you're not genuine about it,
if you don't if you genuinely don'tcare and you're not concerned, but
then you need to get the hellout of the lifestyle because you're going to
severely damage someone on physically, emotionallyboth. So go ahead. This brings

(59:07):
up It's a conversation I had withone of the young girls I work with
now. She is very very young, not over eighteen, right, yeah,
well, yeah, she's she's incollege. She was born the year
I graduated high school, so shefeels very young to me. And she

(59:32):
had a person come up and wasspeaking to her, and that person,
for various reasons, had to comespeak to me after, and I said
the same thing, I just tooklonger to say it. So basically,
there was a device that they hadthat they needed help figuring out how to

(59:53):
work it. They were sent tous to supposedly be able to be given
help. That is not a devicethat we can give you help on.
We don't know anything about that device. She just I can explain fully later
to you, cauldron, I'm notgoing to call it out, gotcha,
gotcha? So it was a devicethat some other group had said that we

(01:00:16):
could tell them how to work it. That's not one that we could,
though, And she just said,hey, I called the back. They
said, we can't help. Callthe number on the box. And I
mean she was probably a little bitmore polite than that, because she's a
sweetheart. But when they came tome, I was like, hey,

(01:00:37):
let me look which one do youhave? Like, let me look at
the box. And I was like, hey, you know, I would
love to help you. I waslike, but we don't. We don't
work with that device. We don'tknow anything about that device. So I
could try to like walk you throughthe steps on this instruction kit, or
you could call that number and theyactually may be able to tell you if

(01:00:59):
it's working, tell you what tolook for if it's not working, they
can help you figure out what's goingon. Now, technically we both said
sorry, called the number on thebox. However, because I took a
little bit more time to explain why, they felt heard and appreciated and respected,

(01:01:20):
because I took a couple more minutesto say, hey, it's not
that I don't want to help you, it's not that I don't care it's
just you're going to get better helpfrom here. And afterwards she's like,
how are they so upset with me? And fine with what you said?
And we said the same thing.I was like, it's not about giving
them a simple answer. It's abouttelling them that you matter. They matter,

(01:01:43):
you understand their issue, and you'rehere for them, but you still
are not the best one to providethat help. And that conversation made me
think of that, like, thisapplies not only to obviously a vanilla world,
but if you just say why,you're just saying, well, whatever,
fucking deal with it yourself. Idon't care where If you say,

(01:02:05):
hey, are you okay? Whatyou know? What? What happened?
What's going on? That conveys thatyou do care more. And a lot
of people we're so used to texting, we just do shoot shoot one word
answers and whatnot. We're used tothat simple, sweet, short answer.
But to embellish on what's going onshows you care. I don't know if

(01:02:28):
that's relevant. It felt relevant tome, so I'm sorry if I went
off right. No, that's fine. I mean that people need to understand
that that and some of it maybe due to like people on the spectrum,
there's a there's a different way ofpeople on the spectrum communicate, and
it's a lot of times it's justthe facts, like just get to the

(01:02:52):
point, but you've got to tomake an attempt to understand. And I'm
not saying anything. I've got anephew who is definitely very far into the
spectrum, and learning to communicate withhim was a challenge, you know,

(01:03:19):
understanding because sometimes he could be veryabrupt with things that he said, and
for his particular condition there was hewas, in his his particular case,
very uh, stuttery and insecure inthe things that he was saying, and

(01:03:40):
he would become frustrated and you knowif things didn't go just so so,
and that you don't have to beon the spectrum for that to be the
case. Like I've had scenes thathave not gone the way that I had
played them up in my mind.I knew that they didn't that the person
that I had played with felt thesame way, that things didn't go the

(01:04:04):
same, you know, didn't gohow they had played it up in their
mind for it to go. Andit become difficult to communicate with each other
afterwards because we're both feeling frustrated andfeeling like we caused it. You know,
each of us individually caused it,and it can create such a roadblock

(01:04:27):
in communication. So there's a bunchof great comments. Kiro says consent can
be given or taken at any timefor any reason. I would argue against
the consent can be given at anytime only because people should not negotiate in

(01:04:48):
mid scene. If something is ano to begin with, it should not
be changed to a yes in themiddle, because that can lead to,
you know, thoughts of coercion.It can be coercive. Even there's just
a lot of a lot of problemsthere. We'll just mid scene, just

(01:05:09):
altered mindset space. Yeah, youshouldn't negotiate a sexual scene with someone in
little space. You shouldn't negotiate ascene with somebody who's drunk off their ass
or stone like any of that.Right. Yeah, actually, I know
most of our people know that,but I thought if we have new people,

(01:05:30):
that's that's an important caveat, Likeyou cannot consent if you are altered
in your mind in any way.I want to say hello to Mr KINHNK.
Yes, we missed you so bad. I still think you should have
came on the Primal Show with usma'am. Yeah, yeah, definitely,
Luis says. Don't just assume someoneconsented to rough sex once, they will

(01:05:56):
a second time. Either have theconversation. Yeah, I have the conversation.
Uh, you know, says,And sometimes you can't dive into it
until a few days later. Thisis going back to the aftercare talking about
when someone calls red, but youcan't go back to it until a few
days later in order for the redor the person that called red to process

(01:06:17):
what had happened. Yeah, veryimportant. There give some give some time
space, continue to check in.Yeah, may first, pointing at herself
for those listening to the audio onlyversion of this, she is definitely someone
who needs a long time to process. And that's that's fine, like,

(01:06:40):
and it's also okay that it canbecome a little frustrating for me as long
as I don't act like a dickor back in the day, which was
hard for me before, because Ijust I'm a fixer and I wanted to
fix things when they would go wrong. And you know, there was times
when I become impatient of I don'tyou know, I don't think I was
ever too bad, but I knowI could have been a lot better.

(01:07:06):
Lily Villa, Hello, welcome.I don't remember seeing your name before,
but you say get your ass andgear to make sure they feel safe.
Fucking brilliant. Thank you. Iappreciate that. Oh Avery, Avery,
welcome. Love y'all. Moose andI miss all the faces. MOI yes

(01:07:31):
that Moose, so deed speak truth. We're intoxicated. Yeah, you talking
about that? I love you both. I wasn't asked to be on the
Primo, but it was a goodshow. I think I asked you on
the show, but you may nothave heard that one that day because I

(01:07:51):
don't actually talk to you outside ofbeing here. From the comments of of
you know, loving us all toget together and talk about that with the
other two people, well one didn'tmake it for some reason. I took

(01:08:13):
that as you wanting to just hearwhat all we would have to talk about,
and like that was my first impressionof the comment, and so I
didn't even think until the day ofthe show that you would want to be
on it. I didn't think aboutinviting you, and I apologize for that.

(01:08:33):
We can always try again. Wecan definitely talk about it, like
there's you and I have mr.We have talked so many times about having
you on the show to talk aboutso many different things, and damn it,
it just needs to happen. Wow. Yeah, I can still feel

(01:08:55):
bad about you not being on thatepisode, but the other guy didn't get
to come, so she could comeback. If the other guy can ever
make it. Yeah, yeah,definitely, Ali Hoop says, agreed,
agreed, couldering the thing. Thethings I want midway through a hot scene
are way beyond my sober boundaries.Yeah, yeah, I mean absolutely.

(01:09:23):
Sometimes things get super super intense andsuper hot in the middle of a scene
and you've said that these things areokay, these things are not, and
then to change them just because bothof you are feeling exceptionally hot can lead
to some major damage afterward. Justoh and I hear people, especially younger

(01:09:46):
people, oh nah, that ain'tgonna that won't happen. Like, if
we decide to do that in themiddle, then it's all good. We'll
just you know, get together anddo it again. It'll be great.
Be learn from other people's mistakes fora change. That is what true brilliance
is, learning from other people's mistakes. Sorry, I was reading a comment

(01:10:21):
from from Percussio, It's like thatone scene we tried to have you swung
and I didn't feel it correctly redblue, and you needed more aftercare than
I did. Yeah, I meanit, uh it really uh shit.

(01:10:43):
That really screwed with me, AndI believe what you're if I remember,
I remember the after, the afterpart, and if I'm thinking correctly,
that was where something hit. Itwas a little high, but it wasn't
on the neck or anything like that, but it felt like it was and

(01:11:05):
like the mark was low, butit the sensation of it felt like it
was in a place that it shouldn'thave been. If I'm remembering correctly,
that's been freaking years ago. Butthe why doesn't matter, Like just making
sure that both people are are safeand they're okay and then things can be

(01:11:28):
discussed later. Like she said Ineeded more after care than she did,
and that's okay. Like don't tryto be that domly domb dumbass that is
ashamed, Like check your ego atthe door when it comes to what we're

(01:11:48):
doing, because we're we play withdanger. It's also good to have a
neutral person to help with the aftertalk. Yeah, yeah, sure is
Wow. We start out talking roughsex, now we're talking like aftercare and
well, I mean it, roughsex is just one piece of the puzzle.

(01:12:15):
The important pieces for it to beconsensual and b DSM are the negotiation
and the aftercare. Rough sex iswhatever you decided is there's no definition technically.
Rough sex to me is you know, I'm I'm pretty down for let's
let's let's go. Whereas some peoplemaybe like rough sex is oh, he
smacked me on the button, itlike it didn't even leave a mark.

(01:12:38):
But I didn't like it. Thatwas too rough for me, And that's
okay. It's the conversation before andafter that make it kink, that make
it consensual, and are the piecesthat make it what we talk about here

(01:12:58):
anything here the younger people talk,it's uh before I say this, Mr
says, not just younger, anynew person thinks it's all good. Yeah,
when you change signs in the middle, they do and they're incredibly wrong.
That's where you get like all thethey were both drunk, but now

(01:13:21):
she cries rape. That's where thosecome from. Is you could had that
conversation, that negotiation while they wereboth drunk, so she didn't really consent,
she was altered in her headspace.That's where that all comes in.
Sorry, Mr says, and roughsex isn't what primal is all about,

(01:13:43):
just saying no, no, absolutelynot. H yeah. And if I
don't think we said anything that wecould have leads to that, like,
but if we did, we wespoke incorrectly because primal is absolutely not that.

(01:14:10):
I mean it can be, butit it's a it's core. I
don't for me, it's not Procuciussays, you hit my thigh and I
didn't feel it. Huh okay,yeah that's sounding familiar. God, you
know my memory, So it's showI made it this time. Thank you

(01:14:33):
guys. I'm not Oh, LilyVilla says, I'm not super new.
Listen to your show sporadically. Ilove your work. Thank you very much.
Listening from Arizona in case it mattersto you, Yes it does,
Thank you, Hello to Arizona.Yeah, so many people on FET just

(01:14:53):
want rough sex but call themselves kinkyand primal. Sorry, blow jobs aren't
super kinky either's anal like everybody thinksthat they got to have that that picture
with the butt plug in and yeah, I mean okay, so I've said

(01:15:14):
this before. I like I likemy BDSM to be BDSM. I like
my sex to be sex. Sexcan be rough, it can be primal,
it can be passionate, but itis way more to me knowing people

(01:15:35):
that I know who are who mixb DSM and sex. I'm pretty vanilla
in that regard. Roughness doesn't tome, doesn't imply b DSM mayfair you
look, oh, just saying forthe general audience. You didn't say anything

(01:16:00):
wrong, Okay, cool, good. My funny look was because when you
talked about the butt plug, Iremembered a thing that i'd saw on Facebook
recently where there was a butt plugwith a tail, a furry tail attached
for sale at Goodwill. And forsome reason, I don't think this is
sanitary. Like I know, Iremember that you can boil the metal butt

(01:16:28):
plug, but I don't know howyou fully clean the fur. Yeah,
that's definitely, I mean, evenfully boiled. I don't know that I
would want one from Goodwill. Nothingagainst Goodwill. I don't want hand me
down text toys. It's personal thing. You do you guys, just cairo,

(01:16:49):
don't be a liar, It says, I'm new. What is the
show about Avery says I'm new tothe live stream. Well, welcome to
the live stream. We're here thefirst and third Sunday of every month at
three pm Eastern Time. Says I'vebeen listening to the podcast for a few

(01:17:10):
weeks, starting from the beginning.Well, sorry about those first few episodes.
You always say that. So theylove making fun of the seventies mustache
porn star voice. Hello, ohgod? All right? Well, Alluring

(01:17:34):
agrees, no good will toys.Alluring swan that is Cairo's lovely, lovely
wife. Uh, Avery says,I love them. Did I fall or
a prank street? Yes, youfell for a prankster? So many bejeweled

(01:17:56):
buttles. Yeah, I just don't. I don't into I'm not into it.
Hello, Nicole, Welcome. Elmoresays I love listening to the progression
of your shows. All right,enough about me. I believe I've reached
a point where I've got nothing moreto say on the topic. Normally,

(01:18:20):
I say, Mayfair, what areyour final thoughts? So I'm gonna give
you a minute to think about it, and I'm gonna give mine first for
a change. Yeah, just showingthat I do have the ability to change.
So We've talked about it a lot, talked about row sex. Is
it b DSM? Is it notb DSM? Uh? Is it consensual?

(01:18:43):
Is it not consensual? What definesconsensual? We've we've really dove deep
in the woods on some of that, and we've we've missed some of the
points that I wanted to make thatkind of settled out of my mind.
Squirrel add is real just saying Ithink that it's good rough sex. I

(01:19:12):
think that non rough sex is goodif that's what people are into and what
people want to do. I justthink that people need to talk about it
and discuss it and stop choking eachother. Oh my god, do you
can kill somebody really quick, likeliterally three seconds cause blood clots that will

(01:19:39):
take a little bit longer, thatmay sit somewhere for weeks or months in
a calf muscle or something and thenslip loose and hit along or their brain
or their heart, liver or kidneys. You know, it's dangerous and people
need to talk about it more,need to understand and the dangers of it.

(01:20:03):
There's stupidity and ignorance. People arehighly offended by being called ignorant,
But all that means is that youdon't know. What you don't know.
That is ignorant is not having theknowledge on a topic. So don't be

(01:20:23):
ignorant. Get the information. You'vealready taken the first step. If this
is your first time listening, thankyou so much. If it's not,
then you should already know most ofthis information. But continue to become educated
and join the community. Go toevents, go to classes, learn things.

(01:20:48):
Ugh, sex can be amazing,it can be deadly, it can
lead to rape charges in prison time. Talk about it, have the fun,
but talk about it first, andthen don't change it up in the
middle. And if somebody says thatnow you know you're in the middle of

(01:21:13):
it, and they're like, yeah, I don't do that again. But
you said it was okay before,Why is it not okay now? I
don't know. Maybe they didn't knowthat they had an hemorrhoid, so getting
that thumb up the ass is notThey figured out that, oh that's uncomfortable,
or maybe you didn't do it theway that they want you to do
it, and they don't want tohave a conversation about it. They can
still get off and enjoy it,enjoy the other stuff. It doesn't matter.

(01:21:38):
Yeah, so Mr says, theTikTok chokers scare the hell out of
me. Yes, me too,I agree, absolutely, So mayfair,
what are your final thoughts. Idon't think I have profound today. That's
okay. It's a pretty loose topic, so no party intended. Don't thing

(01:21:59):
we didn't discusses the man handling andbeing thrown around. Oh go ahead,
we got a few more minutes thatwe could. That is. That is.
It's a lovely it's a lovely imageand unfortunately a lot of times it
falls into that because if you seeit on TV, you'll see somebody grab
somebody up by the throat and throwthem around, and that's actually really scary,

(01:22:20):
but to watch and fantasy is reallyhot. So yeah, that's just
I'm just being man handled is avery exciting thing, even if you're a
bigger girl, like being feeling thatvulnerability and that just being pushed against wall

(01:22:41):
or thrown onto the bed, it'samazing if you're into it. If that's
your thing, it's amazing. Yes. If if being centrally picked up and
carried from the living room to thebedroom and laid down softly and kiss gently

(01:23:03):
is your thing, then that's amazing. That's that's great too. Uh.
I don't think I've made it tothat side of spicy. TikTok. That
is what I meant about spicy booktalk. I saw a guy telling other
guys that if she's into spicy books, she means yes. Even if she

(01:23:25):
says no choker, trust me,she wants it. Holy. Yeah,
that's as salt. Yeah, Idon't. I don't think i've been that
I've made it to that side.No m hm. Yeah, that that
is assault, no where around it. Denali says that these this is becoming

(01:23:51):
more common to see in the comments. Are people agreeing? Good God?
There are a lot of YouTube videosto teach you how to fall safely,
to help you if you like beingman handled. Yeah. Yeah. If

(01:24:13):
you're into rope, I always sayTwisted Monk, check out Twisted Monk.
If you're into rope, love TwistedMonk and Twisted Monk's products. Anyway.
Yeah, if those videos show ifI'm probably gonna report or something, because

(01:24:35):
I haven't seen those. That's myadvice for book talk or anything on like
a social media of any form.If you see people who are encouraging abuse

(01:24:56):
in any manner, report that shit. That goes from everything to the people
who say stupid stuff like that too. The new one that I've stumbled across
a couple of times that it's talkingabout mature or I don't know, it's

(01:25:17):
like I think they call themselves MAP, which is basically people who are pedophiles
trying to rebrand themselves. I've camethat one. Yeah, I think it's
MAP. I don't know, butjust you you report the abusive encouragement this

(01:25:40):
this is an encouraging or inciting violence. Yeah, yeah, that's uh.
I've found you from someone's comment abouthow to explore safely. Oh cool,
Yeah, awesome. It's good tobe known for that. Junicornsiss has got

(01:26:05):
real sexy. The Cauldron romance novelreading was sexy, by the way,
not the assault stuff. Yeah,it reminds me of Sherlock. How so
one of the main off and onmain characters. She said, brainy is

(01:26:27):
the new sexy. Oh yeah,talking about Sherlock. A huge fan of
Sherlock series. By the bye.All right, well, I think that's
going to do it for today.Now that we've hit the man handling,
which was one of those topics thatI wanted to get into that slipped my
mind. I love being physical anddoing the man handling. Wow, oh

(01:26:53):
you got my number of children?If you want me? I yes,
oh god, so yeah, thanksfor throwing me off. Appreciate it now.

(01:27:19):
If if you hear somebody talking likewell, if she says no,
she means yes and all that,don't don't be that person to stand for
that. Just don't see you ina few weeks Cairo Esques. I won't
know until the thirteenth from that doctor'svisit. So there's a I've been invited

(01:27:46):
to a coloring ceremony I'd really liketo go to. I'd get to see
a lot of people that listen tothe show and people that I've talked to.
I'd get to meet my at thatplace in Oklahoma City, which would
be absolutely amazing. I've already donethe vetting process for there, so I

(01:28:10):
if I can't make it to thecollaring ceremony, I will make plans to
to make it there eventually. Youknow, I've You've got my word on
that. Traveling that far is likeI was in the car for fifteen minutes

(01:28:31):
yesterday driving from my house to somewhereelse and I don't remember. I'll pick
up a pizza, So it wasonly like ten minutes and by the time
we got to the to the pizzajoint, I definitely needed a break.
It wasn't just spine surgery that Ihad. There's a lot of torn ligaments

(01:28:56):
in my neck and the front andback and around my shoulder and stuff,
and so that I think that's causingme more problems than the actual fusion of
three discs in my next So yeah, it's traveling is an issue right now.
But we'll see, we'll see.I'm I'm hopeful maybe I'll take a

(01:29:16):
huge jump in my recovery in thenext month. So all right, well
that's gonna wrap us up, andI thank everyone for tuning in checking it
out. You can find the podcastthe audio only version of the podcast at
culturescript dot com. Uh send mein email if you'd like. UH Mastercouldron
at gmail dot com. Super easyto remember. Send a text to eight

(01:29:42):
sixty five two six eight four zerozero five if you have a question or
comment that you'd like me to getto immediately. Alie, thank you so
much. Mr Cairo Juny denially averjust all of you that we're in the
chat. Percussio Lily Villa, LilyChaos, just all of you. Thank

(01:30:09):
you so much for tuning in specialwelcome to all the first timers. May
Fair. Anything you want to saybefore we jump on out of here,
well sometimes we may not feel it, especially if you're new and feel awkward.
Consent and negotiations and after care areparamount. I thought you didn't have

(01:30:33):
anything profound to say. I knowwe got away and my brain stopped focusing
on the momoa for a moment.Oh god, all right, well this
has been masterculdre to end may Fairfor culture script dot com on Earth the
truth. Hey, you know whatI hadn't said in a long time,

(01:30:56):
Say goodbye me Fair. Say goodbyeme Fair. I already said it.
I should have said say goodbye Couldron, but that would have been weird.
You're bye, Couldron. By everybody,

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