What is BDSM Depth Play-S05E13

Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to mydungeon. Welcome to caldron Script. I'm
your host, Master Cauldron. Ifyou're to the show, he's are combined
thirty four years of BDSM experience inmy twenty years org in the psychology filter

(00:24):
the spell myths, get rid ofstereotypes that at your questions about BDSM.
You can text in your questions orcomments to eight six five two six eight
four is erzer a five or visitthe crypt at caldronscript dot com. In
this episode, we're all going tolearn something together. We're diving into something
that I found last night. It'scalled depth play, and I'm sure some

(00:48):
of you probably know about it.I've never heard of it. I have
not even read what it's about.Because I really want us to learn and
ask and answer questions together with thechat Room, the third co host of
the show. But before we getinto that, Hello Mayfair, Hello Cauldron.
How goes it? I'm a littletired tonight, but it's okay tonight

(01:11):
today. I went out last nightto my high school reunion, still groggy
even though it ended at ten.How many years is it you've been out
of school twenty? The Big TwoOh yeah, it means I guess I'm
heading into my what thirty year reunionin two years? Oh, I'm older

(01:37):
today than I've ever been. Yay, all right, well let's hit those
rules love Bye and then jump intothis conversation. If you want to follow
it along, you can go tocoldrescript dot com slash five one three and
do that. That link is liveright now. The Rules Love Bye brought

(01:59):
to you by Inclusion Woodworks, mykinky woodworking company. Check it out inclusion
oneworks dot com. If you wantto go ahead and shop, you can
go Inclusuionwoodworks dot com slash AT's seerules love by Rule number one Safe,
same, Consensual and informed rule numbertwo. Can you that's K and K.
It comes from a kinky app availableon all platforms. They are not

(02:20):
a sponsor, but it stands forknowledge, no Intolerance, Kindness and Integrity
and rule number three. The quotefrom mister Paul Yung's submission is not about
authority and it is not about obedience. It is all about relationships of love
and respect. Today is September theseventeenth, twenty twenty three. What is
BDSM Depth Place, Season five,Episode thirteen. Again you can find the

(02:46):
link to this at couldronscript dot comslash five one three. This is an
article called what is depth Play?The Ultimate Guide by j station X.
Sports, video games and more iswhat they blog about. And I don't

(03:07):
think there's sports or video games here. Well we fall into the and more,
I guess. But as far asI saw, this was the only
thing on their website that was themore part. Yeah, so here we
go and again hello too, Oh, Buffalo Max is here. Fetish Artists,
I haven't seen you in a while, Lovely Sunshiny, Oh, who's

(03:30):
that? I finally made it tothe love podcast. Welcome everybody, bad
Cat first one to pop up andsay hello to us. So good to
see everybody. I'm glad you madeit to one. Hopefully you'll make it
too many more and Texas Wildflower Hello. All right. So exploring the world
of BDSM can be exciting and fulfillingjourney for individuals who are open to exploring

(03:54):
their deepest desires. Within the realmof BDSM, there are numerous activesvites,
and practices that cater to various interests, one of which is depth play.
In this article, we will delveinto the concept of depth play its purpose
and common uh frequently asked questions associatedwith it. So what is depth play?

(04:17):
Mayfair, Have you ever heard ofthis? I am not. Have
you read the whole article? Ifit's all in the show notes, then
yes, If not, then no, Yeah, it's all okay. I
didn't have a clue, and thenI read just a little like the first

(04:40):
paragraph, and I'm like, nope, I'm saving this for the show.
So you want to give us theirdefinition of depth play. Depth play is
a term used to describe a specifictype of BDSM activity that focuses on exploring
intense psychological and emotional experiences. Itinvolves delving into depths of one's mind and

(05:03):
emotions to create intense connections and sensations. Depth play can encompass a wide range
of activities, such as intense roleplaying scenarios, mind games, sensory deporation,
and more so. It kind ofsounds like there's some elements of possibly

(05:26):
fear play at times and mind fuckeryat times. My mind went to more
of like a cathartic thing the wayit was reading to me psychological and emotional
experience. It involved delving into thedepths of one's mind and emotions to create
intense connections and sensations. Okay,yeah, yeah, because I am thinking

(05:49):
about like the common scene that youand I talk about with you where the
cathartic with the switch, the youknow, they're just crop. Depth play
can encompass a wide range of activities, intense l play scenarios, mind games.
Okay, see, I guess that'swhere I went straight to the mindfuckery,

(06:12):
sensory deprivation and more so. Nowhat oh death play, depth d
ept H. Sorry, it's ahard word for me to enunciate. Is
that Southern coming out? So whyI have no clue what you're talking about?

(06:35):
Fetish arts is moving very slow?Adulting sucks, Yes, absolutely it
does. I've got a lot ofthat to do this week unfortunately. So,
uh, what would be the purposeof depth play? The primary purpose
of depth play is to challenge andexplore the psychological and emotional aspects of bds

(07:00):
them It allows participants to push theirboundaries, experience intense emotions, and develop
a deeper understanding of themselves and theirpartners. Depth play can create a strong
sense of vulnerability, trust, andconnection between individuals involved. Okay, I'm

(07:25):
with you, So that's basically thewhy and or the what is it?
And the why you would do it? And I think that there's a lot
of what are you thinking so far? Mayfair? I completely just changed gears
in mid thought. But that's okay, We're going to go with it.

(07:48):
I mean, I stated it remindsme of yeah, just to reiterate,
reminds me of a cathartic kind ofscene. Sorry, yeah, yeah,
no, no, no, no, I'm not very perky today, folks.
I apologize. Hey, there's amark and hawk. Hell all right,

(08:15):
so let's jump into I guess they'refrequently asked questions, and I feel
like this is going to give usa lot because I've got questions. Uh,
and I'm going to ask Mayfair whatthe I'm going to ask her what
my questions? Is depth play onlyfor experienced BDSM practitioners. No depth play

(08:37):
can be enjoyed by by individuals.They don't have that word in there individuals
at any level of experience. However, it is crucial to have open and
honest communication with your partners to establishclear boundaries before engaging in any depth play

(08:58):
activity. These Okay, is itsafe? Like any BDSM activity, safety
is paramount. It is crucial toengage in depth play with a trusted partner
or partners who respects your limits andconsent. Establishing a safe word, and

(09:22):
practicing aftercare are essential aspects of ensuringa safe and consensual experience. That doesn't
really answer is it safe? Soyou're dealing with psychological things here, so

(09:43):
safety is going to be based onthe people involved. I don't think I
would want to do too much ofthis as pickup play. I don't think
that that would be real safe.I would definitely want to make sure it

(10:05):
was with not just somebody that Iknow is going to respect your limits and
and consent, but somebody who alsoknows you or has a lot of experience
in dealing with the aftermath of psychologicalplay and land minds that are sure to

(10:30):
pop up, Yeah, land mines, trapdoors, booby twap, booby twap,
the goonies. Yeah, and uhchat room, be sure to uh

(10:50):
to give your your feedback. Youmarken Hawk always has good things to say,
says it's not safe because unknown triggerscan and will happen. Yep.
Yeah, and if you're not expectingthem then it's even that much more unsafe.

(11:11):
So my fair, are there anyrisks associated with depth play. Just
pause for just a second. I'mcracking up that since that comment, you
and I are both making an effort, extra effort to say depth. Yes,
more clearly, That's why I wasgiggling in the last part there.

(11:33):
Oh, fetish artist heard debt theebt, I mean that's better than death
I think, you know, Ithink I'm going to add I'm going to
add those to the lists of fetishesto talk about. There are types of
play to talk about, debt play, uh and death play. I'm sure
we can come up with something fun, all right. So, while play

(12:00):
can be emotionally intense, it isessential to engage in activities that are within
your emotional and psychological limits. Pushingboundaries is encouraged, but it should be
done gradually and with the utmost ofcare, ensuring the well being of involved
parties. Here's fun fact though,generally speaking, you are not aware of

(12:26):
all of your emotional and psychological boundariesuntil they are touched, right, and
you know, thinking back to wherethis article comes from, the title of
the website is jastation X, Sports, video games and more, and most

(12:54):
of the stuff on that website issports and video games and sport video games.
I knew that we were going topick this apart because you know,
are there any risks associated well?Well depth play can be emotionally in tenis

(13:16):
is essential to engage in activities thatare within your emotional psychological limits. Pushing
boundaries is encouraged, but it shouldbe done gradually and with the utmost care,
ensuring the well being of all involvedparties. Okay, but that doesn't
actually answer that question. Are thereany risks associated with depths play? Yes,

(13:43):
now that I actually know more ofwhat it is, there are a
lot of risks associated with it,so to put that, because there's a
lot of people that that messaged meover the years like that to get me
to answer a question just yes orno. People on the spectrum. Often

(14:16):
and this is not like I'm notsaying anything bad, but quite often when
I get to talking to people thatare like, so, you talked about
this, but you you you askedthe question, but you never gave a
direct answer. Can you give justa straight, direct yes or no to

(14:39):
that question? Quite often that's thecase. So for for those people that
need a direct yes or no question, which I'm one of those that prefer
it that way, Yes, thereare a lot of risks associated, some
of which we've already talked about.M R. Kenhawk have brought some up.

(15:01):
I wanted to go back to lovelysh Sunshiny comment where she sounds a
bit like edgeplay. Almost. Yes, it is a type of I would
definitely consider it a type of edgeplay because you are absolutely treading into some
dangerous waters in my opinion. Thereis an infamous death play that happened.

(15:30):
I think it was in the lateeighties. Oh yeah, Unfortunately, there's
a lot I follow a lot ofthe BDSM news and there's a case in
California right now where a slave wasordered to kill somebody and she went through
with it. There was another casethat one just happened, the murder just

(15:52):
happened. And then there was acase from a murder that happened a couple
of years ago where a mistress orderedher slave to kill her ex husband and
he did it. So yeah,there's probably I don't know, em R.
If you're talking about the one thathappened in Tennessee, Clarksville, Tennessee.

(16:18):
I think that was in the nineties, late nineties, early two Thousand's
the one I'm thinking of Buffalo Maxsays, it sounds like the new generations
are trying to come up with newnames for fear play and C and C
combination. Yeah, fear play,C and C. Catharsis cathartic play.

(16:42):
That was go ahead. I thinkthat the Sunshine may had it right.
This really is just talking about differentkinds of edgeplay. I mean, the
the emotional edge play. Yeah.I think I think like edge play being

(17:06):
an all encompassing term for types ofplay that are on the edge of safe
or what is traditionally considered sane.Yeah, I think this is a catch
all term for anything that is thatis going to be psychological based. Catharsis

(17:27):
based therapeutically based, basically, anythingthat's dealing with issues in an intentional and
I would say medium to major waybecause I think that every person that plays
as we do, even if likeit's somebody who always just participates in an

(17:49):
impact scene or a wax scene orsomething like that, typically they're they're dealing
with something well, maybe not somuch wax, but typically they're dealing with
some kind of issue and it mayhave been resolved and they're just enjoying it
like it's just for their pleasure togo to. I don't know knife play
or cages or whatever restraints being boundbut I think that there's always some kind

(18:17):
of minor psychological level there, unlessyou're a robot. But yeah, let's
see fetish artists. As I tendto be hesitant with any play messing with
my messed up mind. Any kindof mind play is definitely on the edge

(18:38):
of safe, because, like Isaid earlier, there would be boundaries that
you have that you had no fuckingclue about until someone Until someone just even
touches it and you're like, oh, what the fuck you come out swinging
or something, because you never untilyou find it, you never know what's

(19:03):
an issue. Yeah, you touchedit, didn't you? You're synonymous with
touching things. I feel like Icompletely mispronounced that s anonymous there. Ago.
I forgot that my friend from lastnight was a war veteran and popped

(19:30):
a balloon right close to him.Oh, I was trying to protect the
little kid. She was fifteen andshe didn't want to pop that one.
She was about to cry. Yousaid little kid, and then you said
she was fifteen. I don't considera little kid fifteen. Look, she's
like eighty pounds, soaking wet.Oh so hanging and hanging out with a

(19:53):
bunch of two thousand and three graduates. All right, she was a little
kid. We're holding onto that becausewe're not ready to accept the fact that
some of our classmates have children whoare old enough to drink at this point.
So what you're saying is you wereold enough to be a grandparent.
I am oh bad cat says searchedDepth play result ain't old, depth training

(20:26):
and not not funny. Emmark enhawkWas says that she was referring to Moe
Williams, who had a public thedepth play Death that death no death play
should write Depth torn a community apartmercy and I was, She says,

(20:48):
No, that was in early twothousands. Got my neck accidentally cut last
week during a knife play. Notcool. Oh yeah, but sorry to
hear that. I hope things areokay with you and the person that screwed
up. Unfortunately that does happen,okay. So back in the sorry,

(21:22):
I was thinking about a time whenI accidentally cut somebody. It's like,
oh, I know how that feelsto be the one that does it.
The area that I was playing onwas allowed but the the skin in that
area just happened to react completely differentto right around it, and I mean

(21:45):
like that far around it because Iwas using the exact same pressure. Where
are we at Number four? Candepth play be done in long distance relationships?
May fair? Uh? Yes,step play can be adapted to long
distance relationships through various means such asvirtual role playing, intense messaging, or

(22:07):
webcam sessions. However, it iscrucial to establish clear communication channels and ensure
the emotional wellbeing of all parties involved. Okay, go ahead, So if
you were fucking with someone emotionally mentally, I would say use tons of caution

(22:32):
if you're even going to try todo something virtual, because if you crash
from one of those landmines being touched, you're going to need someone to physically
be there with you, to holdyou to depending on how deep that landmine
is, to take the thing thatyou're holding that you were thinking about harming

(22:56):
yourself with. Because that is thereality of when those kind of things go
wrong is it can cause you togo down a very dark spiral and where
you want to try to harm yourselfdepending on what was done and where the
scene took and you need to havesomeone in your vicinity if that crash happens,

(23:22):
because that is very much thing thatcould happen. I think yes,
most people know I don't really dolong distance relationships. I definitely don't do
like online play. I've never beeninto phone sex or sex thing or any
of that, so I don't haveany experience of this. But I agree

(23:56):
with you one hundred percent. Idon't think that that answer should be yes,
can depth play be done in awell the technically the answer is yes,
it can be done in long distancerelationships. I think that the question
there should actually be should it bedone in long dipstance long dip distance?

(24:23):
Depth right long distance relationships? Forall of the reasons that you just stated,
I would say absolutely not. Notnot for new people especially or people
who are are not don't have somekind of experience with therapy. Now if

(24:48):
if okay, so I don't knowif I can talk about this person.
So I'm going to say somebody indiscord who lives in a neighboring state and

(25:10):
has a partner that lives all theway across the country and they see each
other a few times a year andthey play. They can play pretty intense
over the phone or will over avideo call. And they're very mature adults,

(25:37):
middle age, mature adults with supportstructures both here and there. So
if something was to happen to herand she needed physical touch, she can
certainly get it. If she needssupport, she can get it. There's

(26:03):
somebody there to proxy physical aftercare too, And same for him if he was
to need it. And in thatcase, I think it's okay, but
I think more often than not,it should not be done. Yeah,
I think you need to to reallybe cautious if you're going to try to

(26:26):
do any of that in long distancesettings, and to have that known person
that even if you were the onewho didn't get you weren't you were fine,
but your partner you were like,oh, I know that hit wrong
and I know they're spiraling. Ineed to call this person to go to

(26:49):
them, like I'm not waiting forthe other person to reach out. I'm
reaching out for that person because Iknow they're in a bad dark space.
That's yeah. No, Yeah,I agree absolutely. Lovely said, Yeah

(27:11):
we're still good. Yeah, we'regood. Still Love knives We're right there
with you. Mr says, Iwas talking about the nineteen ninety six case
of Sharing Lapotka and Robert Glass.God, those names are so familiar to
me. It was a consensual tortureuntil death play between the two. He

(27:37):
was only convicted from mishandling a corpsesince she left behind a letter to her
husband that she consented to being killedfrom BDSM play. Yeah, you can't
consent to murder. Can't concerently someonedid. I'm going to look into that

(28:00):
case. Not that I don't.I mean, you're a very trusted source
of information, so I believe whatyou're saying, but I want to hear
more details about that because that's theonly case that I've ever heard of where
BDSM was used as a successful defenseagainst severe harm, dismemberment, or death.

(28:23):
So yeah, I'm writing those namesdown, which again are very familiar
to me. But Robert Glass,that was just the first name that I
saw. What's the other one?Sharon lp Atka, adk okay, And

(28:52):
I'm just going to put a BDSMmurder. See, we're all learning together
here today, and I feel likeI may know the names well from other
people talking about them within the communityyears ago, but there may have been
like an investigation murder done on themor something like that. I don't recall.

(29:12):
I feel like I've seen something aboutit on TV. Hey, Ben,
how's it going. The Clarksville wasin the two thousands. Yeah,
the slave was beaten to death onher master's order to the household. Yes,
she was tied up in the kitchenand was beaten with everything, including

(29:37):
an oxygen tank that somebody was usingwithin the house by I believe six six
people, five or six people.I know. The judge in the case
before sentencing said that they were despicablepeople, that he knew what BDSM was,

(30:00):
and that was not BDSM, thatwas cruelty and torture. And I
was very excited when I heard thejudges speech before the verdict on that,
just the fact that from the benchof a federal court it was being acknowledged
that somebody knew what it was andstanding up for us that you know,

(30:25):
no, you're giving the rest ofthe people that are into that a bad
name by trying to use that asyour defense. So yeah, I been
absolutely. Ben says, Wow,what's going on with the slave mentally to
consent to that level of play asfar as being beaten to death or being

(30:51):
killed the one that left the letterswho Ben is referring to their fetishar says,
I never underestimate an attorney persuasive abilities, and I try not to read
too much into arguments. Yeah,all right, we're so sorry for knowing
too much dark stuff. Oh comeon, you know my black heart loves

(31:15):
it, never hesitate to share allthat dark stuff. All right, All,
go ahead, I'm just going togo back to the article. What
are some common activities that are involvedin depth play? Some common activities may

(31:37):
include role playing scenarios, psychological mindgames, sensory deprivation, humiliation play,
consensual non consent, and more.The possibilities are extensive and depend on the
interests and boundaries of the participants.So really, it's just edge play.

(32:01):
Really, it's just edge play.Okay, fair enough. How can one
prepare for depth play? Preparation fordepth play involves open communication, establishing boundaries,
discussing desires, limits, and potentialtriggers with your partner. Engaging aftercare

(32:27):
activities such as emotional support and debriefingis also crucial for is all. No,
he does say, it's also crucialfor a positive experience. I think
all of those are crucial nothing.Also, it's all yeah, no engaging
in after care activities such as emotionalsupport and debriefing. It should say all

(32:53):
of yeah, all of those thingsare crucial. Yeah. I tried to
and then I realized I read itwrong, and I was yeah, no,
it's fine, it's fine, it'sfine. Hey, We're only human,
you know. Can depth play betherapeutic for some individuals? Depth play

(33:15):
can be very therapeutic, as itallows a person to explore and process deep
seated emotions and desires in a safeand consensual environment. However, it is
important to approach depth play with theunderstanding that it is not a substitute for

(33:37):
professional therapy. It is not asub BDSM is not a substitute for professional
therapy. Stress that a lot?Yes, mayfair? You start to say
something Before I went into that,I say, hey, he got one
rate. Yeah, it is notas substitute. So I really don't have

(34:05):
anything to add to that. Hereally did get one, right or she?
They? Whoever is that that hoststhat that blog? But mayfair?
How can one ensure the emotional wellbeingof all parties involved? Open communication,

(34:27):
consent, and aftercare are key toensuring the emotional wellbeing of all parties involved.
Regular check ins, creating a safeand non judgmental space, and establishing
trust are crucial aspects of health ofengaging in healthy depth play. Yeah.
Yeah, I've taken on a coachingclient, a very new person, which

(34:53):
when I spoke with with mister GabrielFriday evening, he pointed out he says,
oh, so you're mentoring because it'slifestyle coaching, and so yeah,
I guess I'm doing that now.Which if you if you need a lifestyle

(35:15):
coach, if whether you're brand newor you're experienced, I take singles,
couples. Three people is a littlebit too too much at once, but
uh, I can as long aseverybody doesn't talk over each other. And
you can go to culturescript dot comslash coaching for information on that. Lady

(35:39):
Catherine is not doing that with meright now, So that price, uh
is different than what it says there. It is a paid service, though
I do have to point that out, miss you too, Ben Lovely Shunshines
go ahead. Oh all right,was scratching and I hit the mic.

(36:01):
Oh, Lovely Sunshiny says, Iwas trying to look up Depth Play two
and there's like one article and thenliterally all the rest of it is aintal
related. So they were right.Yep, they were right. All right?

(36:22):
Can depth play be combined with otherbds and practices? Hello? Yeah,
Mayfair? Did you hear me?No, I said, can depth
play be combined with other bds andpractices? Sorry? I was coughing.

(36:43):
I just muted and for some reasonall the sound went out. Yes,
depth play can be combined with awide range of other bds. In practices
such as bondage, impact play,or sensory play. The key is to
communicate and negotiate boundaries desires with yourpartner or partners to create a mutually satisfying

(37:07):
experience. Right on. I agreewith that one too. Yeah, I
feel like we need to keep scoreand no offense to the author of this
if they end up coming back andwatching this to see why they've got a
kickback link to their website. Butyeah, it's it is kind of you

(37:30):
know, keeping score. I thinkif you're going to name something the ultimate
guide, then it really needs tobe the ultimate God. I mean,
it needs to be more in depththan one little blurb on each of these
things. In my opinion, we'reon number eight. Now no, we're

(37:53):
on ten. Oh huh, mybad. All right, so there's thirteen
things before we hit number ten.Got a few people to think. Think
with an A, not an I. We are a value for value podcast.
That means that we don't take anycorporate sponsors. It's why you don't

(38:15):
hear any commercials except for what thehosting company may throw in there at the
beginning and end of an episode.But we're not going to do any commercials
for you other than this. Ifyou find value in what you're hearing and
you want to give value back,then there are links in the show notes
for that. You can go toculturescript dot com slash five to one three

(38:37):
to read this entire article and getthe link back to the original post there.
But are producers executive producers coming in? It's twenty five dollars a month.
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(39:01):
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(39:25):
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(39:47):
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(40:10):
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(40:32):
one time shout out, you cando that at coldorscrypt dot com, slash
PayPal. If you want to sendme an email for a Venmo link,
I can do that too. Ineed to get that in the the show
notes here. I've had Venmo fora couple of years now. Vendors I
know, like trusted Us. There'sa list of those in ascription today,

(40:53):
I want to highlight Whipping Strips whippiestripesdot com. She's asolutely phenomenal. My
favorite vendor, my favorite maker.She made my uh makes my custom toys
for me anything, leather, powerpairachord stuff like that, my floggers,

(41:14):
my my dragon tongues, my dragontails. I've got a leather whip.
I've got a pair of cord whipthat she made, single tails, thumpers,
all kinds of stuff. And sheis not She's by far not expensive
and not one of the most expensivepeople out there, but her her items

(41:38):
are quality items. So check herout Whippingstripes dot com. And if you
need something custom, I'm sure she'dbe happy to do something for you.
And yeah, all my contact informationsalso in the show notes, so we
are going back to are there anyresources of available for learning more about depth

(42:01):
play? Of course there are aren'tthere mayfair, Yes, there are numerous
resources available, including books, onlineforums, educational workshops that delve into the
concept of depth play. Is importantto research and educate yourself before engaging in

(42:21):
any new BDS and activity. However, we might need some links, since
if you just google depth play youget anal play. Yes, so google
edge play, psychological BDSM come on. My mind's misfiring all the things that

(42:52):
we've discussed about previously discussed other namesfor it, so I don't really have
a lot to add to that.So can depth play be enjoyed by individuals
who are not interested in pain orphysical sensations? Absolutely, because this deals

(43:14):
more with the mind, it soundslike, than it does with the body.
Depth play is not solely focused onpain or physical sensations. It is
primarily focused on exploring intense psychological andemotional experiences. It can be tailored to
suit the interests and boundaries of allindividuals involved. Years ago, I did

(43:37):
a scene had no pain in itwhatsoever, A minor spider bit and this
is made if you have a rhochnophobiafear of spiders that was on somebody's hard
limit list for quite some time.This was just a friend of mine,

(44:00):
and he decided that he wanted toface that fear. I'm a man's manly
man, damn it. I shouldn'tbe afraid of these little bitty spiders.
I'm gonna face that fear. Okay, spent a couple of weeks collecting up

(44:21):
spiders and keeping them alive, andstrapped him down to a bed and set
spiders loose on him. You're goingnope. You know, for those who

(44:42):
only listen to the audio only versionof the podcast, you don't know this.
But Mayfair wears a mask that's acat mask, and all you can
really say is see if her faceis her mouth, because it goes at
the mask, overs the nose andthe cheeks, the top half of the
cheeks, so you can see hermouth down and everything that you need to

(45:07):
know about what she's thinking right nowis all in those lips. We're fighting.
You put spiders on me or anybugs. If I'm tied down and
you put any kind of creepy crawleyon me, we're fighting. It may

(45:30):
take me a minute to get out, but I'm gonna get out eventually.
We're fighting. Oh, I knowthat's on your hard limit list, isn't
it? M R says, Goingback to the therapist, she says,

(45:54):
I would include Mr Khowks says,I would include letting your therapist know that
you are doing an in depth sceneif they are king friendly. So yeah,
because you may need to call onthem for an emergency. Did you
start to say something else? MafairOkay, Uh, you freaking out over

(46:21):
the thought of the creepy coralie Fetisharsays. April of Whipping Stripes is awesome.
Yes, she is. We hungout at La Pride in June and
it is always a pleasure to seeher. Yeah, I'm sure. Well,
she's out there for dom Con andNew Orleans for dom Con, and
she travels all over the place andshe does Vanilla events too. She actually

(46:45):
does a really good event for kids, doing safety for children. She does
a lot of stuff. Uh yeah, bad Cat says, if you want
to get your name on that list, Alexa, Hm, I'm not sure.

(47:07):
Sorry, I'm not sure. Ididn't say her name right. Oh
hey, Andre Boots, Uh,how do how do you are? Lovely

(47:27):
Sunshine says this is off topic.But I've been listening to the Spotify podcast
for about six months and now I'vealways wondered why the me out is the
producer's shout outs was so pronounced likegenuine question. I don't know. I
just I love the name cat nipme ow, I don't I don't know

(47:52):
what's the cat food or cat treat. I guess it's mew mix, isn't
it. I can't remember, ButI mean, if you're asking the one
cats, ask for it by name, yeah me now, yeah, so
meow mix. Every time I hearthat, I just read it. I
can't help but say it that way. That's the only reason, all right?

(48:15):
Uh. Number twelve, so we'realmost done here. Mayfair is depth
play only for romantic partners? Nodepth play can be enjoyed with any individuals
who have established trust and consent.It is not limited to romantic partners and

(48:37):
can be experienced with friends or othertrusted individuals. I guess my spider story
with my friend because we were notromantic partners, applies to both of those.
Yeah, you don't have to comeup with another story. Number thirteen

(48:59):
The final question in here, candepth play lead to long term psychological effects.
When practiced responsibly, depth play shouldnot lead to long term psychological effects.
I disagree with that. However,it is essential to be aware of

(49:20):
personal limits, communicate openly, andprioritize self care and emotional wellbeing during and
after engaging in depth play activities.I said, I disagree with that.
When practiced responsibly, depth play shouldnot lead to long term psychological effects.
If you're facing fears, if youare going to a deep emotional level,

(49:49):
it's going to affect you one wayor another, and that can change as
well over the same scene. Itcan start out affecting you poorly and turn
into something good. Or it canstart out that the momentary effects are amazing
and then it leads to something bad. Or of course, it can be

(50:14):
good and good and bad and bad, or fluctuate as things often do.
But I think that when practice responsibly, depth play can lead to long term
psychological effects. It just doesn't haveto be bad if everything is handled correctly.

(50:40):
There is still risk that it willturn out bad, but there is
less of a risk. So whatare your thoughts there? I think the
way he answered it really could shouldhave The question should have said, can
depth play lead to long term negativepsychological effects. So when practice, if

(51:06):
responsibly, it shouldn't lead to negativeeffects, but it is still possibility.
But if you're doing any kind ofmind fuckery, fear play, any of
that, if it doesn't have along term effect, I don't know if

(51:27):
you ever even got that scene fullyoff the ground, because you are delving
into each other's psyche. You werelike the scene that you and I talked
about like and I can't remember theofficial terminology for it, but it was
a traumatic event from my past.I was just to kind of go back

(51:52):
into it for anyone new. Iwas eight, I was in the third
grade. My mom knew the teacherfrom when all of her cousins were in
school and she basically was like thepseudo mom for them when all of their
parents were working, So she alreadyknew my teacher, and my teacher called

(52:14):
her and made her come in andthey cleaned out my desk together. All
that I would just take the badgrades out of the stack, because the
teacher would send home our packets tobe all of our classwork from the week
for our parents to sign, andI would take out the bad grades and

(52:35):
put them back in once my momhad signed it to give to the teacher,
and then when I got them backto take home, I would show
the bad grades in my desk.My teacher figured it out, and my
teacher called my mom. They camein and cleaned the desk out, and
then from there, when we gothome, my mom got a hickory switch.
If you're not familiar with what thatit is, it's a small,

(53:00):
all flexible free limb, you know, and she whipped me literally from my
ass to my ankles. I bledon both sides. I couldn't wear pants
for a week. Uh, theywere so sore. I'm not going to

(53:27):
get into the rest of the thingsthat happened. But then Cauldron and I
were doing a scene once before andhe tried the cressage crop on me and
it felt exactly like those stripes fromthe hickory switch. So we were doing
a cathartic scene, and we didthat sensation during that cathartic scene. But

(53:57):
instead of not being allowed to cryfrom because my mom wet a cold washwrag
and told me to sit on thecouch and stop crying or she would do
it again, I was allowed tocry, and I was allowed to have
those emotions, and that took somethingthat had been bothering me without my really

(54:19):
knowing it until we did that scene, and I was able to be comforted
after that quote unquote punishment. SoI reclaimed that moment with Cauldron's help,
and I was able to let someof that anger and that grief go.

(54:44):
So if you're doing these kinds ofscenes, especially if you're treading on things
that you know are issues of fromyour past, if you're not feeling any
effect of it, then you justkind of scratched at it. I think,
yeah. And it's it's funny too, because going into it, we

(55:04):
thought it was going to be thecontrol aspect of it, because you know,
when you were a child, youdidn't have the power to choose it
and you didn't have the power tostop it. So going into it thinking
that that was going to be themain catharsis, at least I did,

(55:27):
the main point of catharsis was goingto be that you, you completely had
the power to stop it, andso it was it was a choice for
you to have control, to giveyou back that control that was taken from
you to endure that beating. Uh. But like you said, it was

(55:49):
the comforting that did it so AndI just point that out to say that
a lot of times what you thinkit's want to be isn't necessarily what it's
going to be. You know,that golden moment of a cathartic scene can
often be something different because we maylook at something surface level or or just

(56:15):
you know, a few inches downbeneath the surface. But you got to
get to the core and that thatcomforting afterward was was the core for you.
Also, she wasn't a physically abusiveperson other than that was she.

(56:36):
I mean, it wasn't the firsttime I'd gotten well popped with a hickory
switch, but it wasn't. Therewere no other events that were ever of
that intense. Yeah, corporal punishmentis corporal punishment, but that's a beating,
that one that's abuse. Yeah,well, child protective Services was called
and that was almost more traumatic thanthe beating. So yeah, nothing like

(57:00):
getting called with the principal's office andbeing told to take off your pants a
strange lady play with them. Well, she wasn't playing with my underwear,
but she was moving my underwear,which you know, growing up, you're
you're taught strangers are not supposed totouch your panties. M M. I
guess if you wear them, youare taught that. I mean I was

(57:25):
taught that they weren't supposed touch myunderwear. But oh, oh my kidney.
It was Superman and Spider Man underruse. That's the same shape as
a mandy maybe the maybe the wholenow briefs, men's briefs. It's it's
a little The only difference in thatand a panty is that there's a hole
for you to pull your dick outof. Oh god, I love how

(57:52):
you simplify things. All right,So Andre says, do you know if
there is a Canadian version of thewebsite looking for or kink friendly professionals.
The American version that Andre is referringto is ncsfreedom dot org. That's the
National Coalition of Sexual Freedom. Thereis a link down below to that,

(58:14):
and you're looking for the kap thekink Aware Professionals. I think they had
some international stuff on there, didn'tthey. Yeah, they've got some,
not much because it is primarily peoplelook at as primarily a US thing.
But no, I don't know ofsomething like that. Google kink Aware Professional

(58:38):
Canada and see if you come upwith anything. If you're looking for a
therapist, most of the LGBTQ therapistsare at least kink friendly. They may
not be kink aware, but theyare kink friendly. So you know,

(58:58):
if you want to go that routeand the difference there somebody who is kink
aware that that goes by kink awareUH, they know a lot about it
or they may probably participate in itthemselves. Somebody who's kink friendly, they

(59:19):
may not know very much about it, but they don't judge. It is
the way that that is supposed tobe. So again, if you're wherever
you're at in the world, UHand you can't find somebody that you know
is kink aware kink friendly, Iwould definitely say go with the lgbt Q

(59:44):
search for lgbt Q friendly UH therapistsand hopefully that'll help you to find some.
They're just a little bit more acceptingthan than the the hederow therapist that
you'll run into most of the timebecause they've had to deal with so much

(01:00:04):
oppression and judgment from others, sothey can be a little less judgmental and
no offense to any hedrow folks outthere that just that's been my life experience.
I mean, I am one ofthose Hedrow people out there, so
all right, so hard not tooffend people today, especially even when you're

(01:00:27):
not trying to Boost says, Ithink it all comes down to the most
factor in depth play, like I'llplay intent. What is your intent?
Got to go? We'll explain later. All right, fetish artist, I
hope everything's okay, stay safe,Ben's got to go. Sorry, Yeah,

(01:01:02):
Mores says, you have to givehickory switch warnings, mayfair Algae.
Yeah, so all right, thefinal part of this article and then we're
going to end this. Can depthplay lead to our in conclusion? Sorry?
My bad? May if I onceyou wrap up what this conclusion is
here? In conclusion, depth playis a captivating an intense form of BDSM

(01:01:25):
that focuses on exploring psychological and emotionalexperiences. It can be enjoyed by individuals
at any level of experience, aslong as there's open communication, consent,
and a focus on personal and emotionalwell being. Engaging in depth play can
create a profound connection, trust andself discovery, making it a powerful and

(01:01:50):
fully and a fulfilling aspect of theBDSM world. I don't agree with that
completely. I don't think a brandnew person should be jumping into depth play
or edge play. I think youneed to get your footing underneath you before
you try to jump at the cliff. You know, learn to walk before

(01:02:15):
you learn to walk a tight ropekind of the thing there, like,
Okay, I need to be ableto walk a straight line before I try
to walk across a thin rope.Yeah, because it is something that can
lead to huge emotional scars if youdon't know what you're doing. Other than

(01:02:39):
putting that part in the conclusion,I do. I agree that it's it
is captivating, an intense It doesexplore psychological and emotion can be enjoyed.
Yeah, that whole any level,in any individual or individuals at any level.

(01:03:00):
Yeah, especially if we're talking abouta top trying to do this and
their newbie. Absolutely no one though, if you do not know what you're
doing, you do not need tolead an edge plate or depth placing that

(01:03:22):
you need to talk to someone.You need to learn your shit before you
try to do that. Yeah,I think, And there's so many classes
out there that people can take.Boots in the chat dear friend, Boots

(01:03:49):
teaches several different classes. Well workswith the TNG, the Next Generation,
which is in our air. Areyou thirty six and between eighteen and thirty
six years old? They set upeducation. You know, it's there's so

(01:04:12):
much information out there. So I'mgonna have to step away for just a
minute. My diabetic bladder is screamingat me right now, So may Fair
you got this, I'll be rightback. What do you guys think about
their conclusion? Do you have opinionson their conclusion? I guess if you're

(01:04:46):
new somewhere, you can find possiblysome teachers or good articles about depths or
edge play. It's fat life.It's kind of the Facebook of kinky folks.

(01:05:08):
A lot of times you'll find postingson it. You'll be able to
find Hopefully you'll be able to findyour local community, because whether you're the
chop or bottom, you need tohave more self awareness than when you first
start. Because if I've learned nothingsince I've been part of the community,

(01:05:34):
is you even just going to eventsand not participating can cause you personal growth.
It may not for everyone, butthere was a point in my life
before this I was freaked out bybeing in a room with other people who

(01:05:58):
were naked and now, oh,I don't even blink an eye. When
I had a patient the other day, just she had a it's not a
prosthetic boob. It was just kindof like a I guess it is a
prosthetic boob. It was just cloth. It didn't look like a boob.
She just reached out and plopped iton the table and I didn't bat an
eyelash, and everyone else around mewas having a moment. So just being

(01:06:26):
a part of the community, Ithink oftentimes will cause you to grow some
Hi. Yeah, Hi. SoAndre says like electro not being for beginners,
I don't think there's just too muchpossible risk and chance for land mines.

(01:06:46):
And I agree with that. Youagree with the electro not being for
beginners, Well, I don't.I meant risk and chance for landmarks is
I don't really know about all abouttro. I don't have I don't have

(01:07:06):
input on it. I just knowthat I hate it. Yeah, because
I mean, I don't see notto be argumentative toward Andre at all,

(01:07:29):
but I think because electro is oneof the things that we do at the
tasting of when we hold the eventsfor for newbies, I'm a good sample.
So I wonder if he meant thatit was not something you should talk
at the beginning. I don't know. Maybe, yeah, give us a
little more information there, Andre.Curious is that you don't think that somebody

(01:07:51):
should top electro as a beginner orparticipate top or bottom. Okay, Yeah,
to clarify, the top should notbe totally new Okay, good thought,
Mayfair, You caught what he wassaying. I did not. Yeah,

(01:08:14):
I mean you shouldn't. I think, for that matter, any newbie
should not be topping without learning period. I don't care what kind of play
it is, but yeah, Iheard a conversation on a podcast, was
that Thursday, Thursday or Friday wherethey were talking about electro and and where

(01:08:44):
to put diodes and stuff, doingstuff around the heart, putting a tens
unit on somebody's head, and youknow, crossing the brain with electrodes,
and like, are you kidding me? I hope to god you're okay.

(01:09:05):
They were joking about doing that.Okay, good because yeah, you just
that's a lovely session. Go aheadwith that comment, Mayfair. Uh,
she said, I mentioned in anothershow or another episode that I don't look

(01:09:26):
at any of the naked bits,uh, and only collars and foreheads,
and she said that's literally her andI yeah, like, I was just
saying, like, certain nudity doesn'tbother me nearly as bad as it did
when I first got here. Whileyou were away for the moment, I

(01:09:50):
was talking about how just finding yourlocal scene will help you well generally cause
some form of growth, because isyou're experiencing things that you've never experienced before.
And I used the fact that Iwas super uncomfortable being around naked folks,
whereas now the lady plopped out herboob and threw it on the table,

(01:10:14):
and I was just like, okay, the fake boob. So we
were about to weigh, and shedidn't want her prosthetic boob weighed with her,
so she just plopped it out andput it on the table. It
doesn't look like a boob, it'sjust boob shaped, so there was no
like definition to it. But everybodyelse, like people from across the the

(01:10:39):
office were like, oh my god, did that really happen? And I'm
like, yeah, why are youall freaking out? And I'm like,
oh, just doesn't bother me.She said it was a pound, and
I was like ma'am, you don'tneed to take that off. It's a
pound. Just just leave it inthere, don't bother. I'll just deduct

(01:11:00):
a pound from your fate. Iwas just like, she wanted to take
shoes off, and I'm like,no, no, no, no,
not undressing for the scale. Ithreaten to do that every time I go
to the doctor, Like, no, I'm wearing four and a half pounds
of clothes here. I want Iwant my weight charted under two hundred pounds,

(01:11:24):
thank you. So anyway, acceptit, clothes are weighed with you.
Yeah, I know. All right, Well I think that's going to
get it. For today, wegot a I'm surprised we're actually almost fifteen
after today. I expected it tobe a little shorter than that. So

(01:11:48):
we had to correct some of thisperson's advice. Yeah, yeah, definitely,
which I mean all in all,just as a if they would instead
of The Ultimate Guide, if theywould have titled it a brief intro.
I I think my biggest problem withthe whole article is titling it the Ultimate

(01:12:13):
Guide, because it is not.That's a gamer thing. Yeah, it's
a get clicks thing, and yeah, which is why I refuse to click
on anything that says the ultimate anything. I watch you know a lot of
woodworking stuff and the Ultimate guide topower tools or the Ultimate Guide to the

(01:12:33):
table saw and all this, andI won't watch it. Like nope,
I'm not going to give you aclick. Emil says, write down expectations
in depth play for yourself and yourpartner, because awkwardness happens even if you

(01:12:55):
have good communication with your partner.Hell yeah, yeah. I recommend keeping
an open journal where both people areallowed to read it. I talk about
that a lot. I think journalingis very important, or I used to

(01:13:17):
talk about that a lot. Istill miss getting journal entries. Apparently I'm
more set in routine. Routine ismore important to me now than it used
to be. All right, well, I guess that's going to do it.

(01:13:40):
I don't have anything else to sayon the topic, so never never
too short, just too boring,and I don't want to get too boring.
I'm sure I already am. Sothat will do it. This has
been yes, I just I'm curious. Does anyone else ever heard of depth

(01:14:00):
play? Just throwing that out there? Yeah, Boots Mayfair or m R
sorry, oh, have either ofyou? I don't know boots are still
here or not. But have eitherof you two ever heard of heard it
called depth play? Because, likeI said, this was a first for

(01:14:28):
me. And in the meantime,Mayfair, do you have anything fun and
exciting coming up? No either.My My fun exciting was last night.

(01:14:49):
As you know, my father inlaw lives with us, Andre says,
that's a first for them. Butmy mother in law is going to be
staying with us for a week startingI believe she flies in on the twentieth.
Office is about to be converted intoa bedroom for her to stay in.

(01:15:15):
And yeah, hm hmm, Imean I guess you could worm them
together and see if they don't getback together, right m are you are

(01:15:38):
you? Are you going to tryto parent trap them? I'm saying,
you know, it's like, Imean, both beds, both beds are
in his room right now, soI'm like, well, why didn't you
just sleep in there? See?And then you know, if they recandle

(01:15:59):
it, maybe he moves back outwith her. Dale No, they kill
each other at this point, Sohow they go with him living in your
house? They're they're great for now, but I mean for visits. But
there's still love there, they theythere's still a lot of love there,
but yeah, not that much.So that's about all I've got coming up.

(01:16:27):
That I've got a class to teachin October at a women's retreat again
that I've done before. And thenyes, our good friend just call me
Ash and producer, friend of theshow and producer. Uh, she's getting
married in October. So I gota wedding to go to. Yeah,

(01:17:01):
that's the kids concert in November,but that's for my mom. You're taking
your mom? Or are you andyour sister going? My sister and I
are taking my mother. Nice.Hey Subec's thirteen, Hey, says I
can't wait for that wedding. Yeah, that should be a good time.

(01:17:21):
So uh all right, Well Iguess that's it. That'll do this.
This has been master Quldron and Mayfairfor Colderscrip dot com one. It's the
truth. Bye, buddy,

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