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April 15, 2024 32 mins
Aliens, and Hulk Hogan Jesus.  Yep. 

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:45):
Stroller. Mm hmm. I normallywe normally have a little banter before I
say it, But okay, we'llcome back, guys to your Kentucky X
files. Ah. I like thechaos. I'm enjoying this, the speed

(01:08):
run. Yeah, I love likegods so quiet. What's up, guys
fucking us? Sort of? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, I mean no,
but yes, I'm looking for somethinghilarious. We got we were threatened

(01:38):
again. We were threatened by agroup of elite hackers again. Yeah.
Okay, I'm trying to find itout. I was trying to get it
prepared, but we're like in afull sprint, so it's gonna take a
second. I've seen Yeah, Idon't know if few the Is it the

(02:00):
Facebook messenger? No, that's that. It's actually in our email. Oh,
it's in our email. Yeah.They want to step for all,
They want to step further. Theythey knew they couldn't get us on Facebook,
so they went to our email.Right. I was gonna say,
they've been they've been hitting our Facebookmessenger quite a bit recently. Yeah,

(02:22):
And I always just get the biggestlaugh out of that ship because it'll be
like from a person, you know, yeah, with very strange names,
and it'll say in the messages thatit's from Facebook. Yeah. I think
that shit's hilarious. I like theemail. The emails that come through that

(02:45):
are like, it's like in theemail address, it'll be like Facebook mail
security or something dot com. You'relike, come on, man, come
on guys. Yeah, yeah,you can do better. So anyway,
this one says, uh. Thisemail starts out with I love I love

(03:06):
fan email too. It says,Hello, you are big. You're in
big trouble. Don't panic. Justlisten to me, because there's a way
out. Thank you, God blessyou. I like this. I like
that they start out by telling uswe're in trouble, but they have a
solution. Yeah, you are nowon the radar of an international group of

(03:29):
hackers and such things never end.Well, oh, because we're gonna get
through this. Oh, I'm sureyou've heard of anonymous. Well compared to
us, there are a bunch ofschoolboys. You're a quiet boy. You
coulda he coulda did that one.I think that would actually like hit better.

(03:52):
We're a worldwide network, several thousandprofessionals, each with their own role.
Someone someone hacks corporate, government networks, someone hacks UH intelligence agency on
delicate tasks, and then someone medeals with people like you, like poor

(04:16):
bastard. Yeah, what kind ofpeople like me? That's the question you're
asking yourself right now. That's toget out of my head, right,
Yeah, he's all I got.It says people who like to watch controversial
pornography. What that's what it says. I'm telling you, Uh, it

(04:42):
says UH. In order to leaveyou without any doubts, I'll explain how
I found out. Uh. Twomonths ago, my colleagues and I installed
spywear software on your computer and thengained access to all your devices. It
was easy. I think you alreadyunderstand that we wouldn't write to any normal
person who watches regular This is great, this is fantastic. So after accessing

(05:14):
your after accessing your phone and computercameras, we recorded you in extreme controversial
positions. There's upclose footage of youand a little square on the right with
the video. I don't know,I don't know what they say. It's
like, I like the enthusiasm,but at least like put sentence structure together.

(05:36):
You know. However, as Isaid earlier, there's always a way
out. Even the most degraded centerlike, you deserves leniency. Thank you,
we appreciate it. Here's your salvation. You must transfer thirteen and seventy
dollars in bitcoing to this group tocurrency wallet. That's the one that I

(06:02):
had that text message. That's thesame one. That's the same people.
Are they it's the same script,it's the same No, No, it's
the same organization, right, yeah, because they said they hacked my phone
and said they got me doing thingsor something like the compromising positions. Okay,

(06:27):
is it tasteful? Quest here isthat we have forty eight hours to
meet the demands. You didn't checkthe email that was That was on Saturday
the fourth, So if if thehacker guy is watching this, I want
to apologize to you for that goingto the junk folder and yeah, that's

(06:53):
uh, you know what man,that's said. That's not me. I
want to take responsibility for that one. How much is thirteen hundred and bitcoin?
Now it's happened like a half ofit. They're like, unless it's
because the last time I saw itwas at thirty five. I think it
probably dropped down to like twenty something. Yeah, this is at thirteen hundred

(07:15):
dollars. So this is even likeit it's even a complete bitcoin. Yeah,
it's not a complete diffraction of abitcoin. I'll find out that it
is funny though, No I gotI got a real kick out of that
when I first saw it. Yeah, I was gonna say, thirteen hundred
dollars in bitcoin is eighty three thousanddollars boom. Yeah that's uh, yeah,

(07:46):
that's not gonna happen there. Butrelease the videos. The only thing
you're gonna do is beat us toit. I just don't get it,
like hellics things like stupid, likethey're expecting somebody like me sending these messages

(08:11):
to like me, like like peoplethat literally couldn't even have, like fathom
having that much money just despare todo Like that's what I'm saying. It's
like, well, I guess ifyou just keep throwing it throwing it out
there, eventually somebody's gonna be likeI did do that. I should pay

(08:33):
them me. I have no shameeven if they did, no shame.
Let reply hopefully I can hopefully thevideo, like I can like transfer it
to OnlyFans and maybe make some moremoney off of it. That's the only
thing that could happen, like optimagonna really right, right, Because here's

(09:03):
the thing, like feel the sameway. I feel the same So like
that's the thing is like, wherethe hell are you going to release it?
Like, so, say, ifit's a screen record of what you
were watching in your face in thecorner, the only people that are going
to see that are the same peoplewho watch whatever you were watching. Yeah,

(09:24):
it sounds like you can actually youknow what I mean, You're not
gonna post that show on YouTube.You're not gonna post that show on well
the channel if it's yeah, it'scontroversial, you know. Yeah, it's
not like they con send it tolike, uh, like the New York
Times or something like, I meannothing to anybody, So it's not why
would they like any kind of newsoutlet, Like if I was in like

(09:46):
politics or an actor or something likethat, then yeah, I could see
that. Nobody got your hurts,you know, no one gives it might
actually like gain us some traction,all right, People will be like,
who the hell of these guys?And why am I supposed to care?
You might be right, o Jagrees, Yeah, yeah, I'm getting

(10:11):
people back for all the o Jmemes that I've had to look at for
the last couple of weeks. Yeah, that's all I'm doing. I decided
to like every type. Something's thebummerj you know, if it's awesome.
I haven't been hammered with the OJstuff. I couldn't like look at anything

(10:33):
without seeing you O J MEI AndI'm like, oh Jesus, look,
guys, I'm gonna put it therest here. The glove didn't fit.
Say what you will? Yeah,right, the glove. The glove didn't

(10:54):
fit. What can I say?I mean, there's nothing else that left
Tuesday? I guess, you know, right, yeah, if I if
I like, you know, hey, hey, put this glove on,
this bloody glove that I found outsideof your door that literally has J g
embroidered on the glove, return toin your address, you know. And

(11:20):
I'm like, Josh, I'm prettysure you murdered Tyler. You try this
glove on, and he goes,what can I do? Glove didn't fit?
Glove didn't fit. What would yousay? The other night that who
was we was talking about the youknow, the the book. What that

(11:43):
was the title of the book,Like, wasn't it something like if if
I did it this is how Iwould have done it, something like that.
You look at it. I gottalook this up. Okay, if
I did it? What was that, right, dude? It's literally says

(12:11):
yeah, Confessions of a Killer.What that is crazy? That is fucking
crazy. It's fucking absurd. Wow, dude. Yeah, he said that

(12:35):
he was offered six hundred thousand dollarsso to help write that book, but
then he later he denied it.He's like, nah, man, that's
crazy. Nineteen eighty four too,that's been crazy. How long ago?
I remember watching that shit on TVand being like, you know that fucking

(12:56):
glass bullshit. He's baking at thatclubs. You know, well we was
in what elementary school? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, because I can
I can remember. I can rememberthem these damn allergies. I can remember
them playing it on the on theTVs. They would wheel into the room

(13:24):
and we will watch that ship liveand in hindsight, in hindsight, man,
that's kind of messed up to thinkabout it. I realized it was
current events, but I mean,why would you put a murder case on
live for a classroom full of children. They were preparing us, they were

(13:50):
getting us ready, they were likeyou watch this. This is how you
get out of a murder. Ifyou're ever in the people wonder why our
generation is so desensitized. You know, that's true, that's true. I
wish I could. I wish Icould. I wish I could say it

(14:13):
ain't true, but god damn itis. It's fucking true. We are.
We're just desensitized. We're cynical,we're uh yeah, we're the product
of our of our time, youknow, just like everybody is. I
guess. Yeah, so, Tyler, I wanted to bring this up to
you. We didn't get sacrificed duringthis during the eclipse. What now,

(14:45):
Well, well, we don't know. There's like these organizations like maybe just
because we didn't get sacrificed doesn't meansomebody else didn't get sacrificed. There's a
lot of weird people out there,a lot of weird people, a lot
of weird people. Yeah. Imean, okay, Well, I mean
I guess if you're out there andyou've been sacrificing people to the eclipse because

(15:07):
you're write in and let us,that'd be great. Just remember, yeah,
the club doesn't fit, the sacrificedoesn't fit. Yeah, So man,
the eclipse though. That was prettyfun, was it, did you

(15:33):
see? Yeah? People were takinguh their glasses and putting them on Facebook
marketplace for like two million dollars onethousand dollars. Yeah, slightly used.
This is this is this is fuckinghistory and it's best like it. It's

(15:54):
only slightly used or something like that. I think a lot of them did
it just for a joke. Butlike, dude, after one person did
it, a thousand other people didit. So that's funny, right.
They were just hoping some retard It'samazing. It was funnier to me because

(16:27):
I was thinking it at the sametime he said it, Okay, that's
I think. Never want right there. Do you think that they're going to
know that there was an edit justnow? Probably because I am I want
to cut it right before you saysomething. So they were just hoping some

(16:55):
fool would purchase the glass. Youknow what I did witness for the first
time, this this eclipse, thoughI've never seen it before, was I
was I was out in the barnworking on my little John Deere, and
I was I was sitting there andit's you know, it's it's happening,

(17:18):
and I'm like this is this iscool? You know, like this is
this is neat And I've never seenall of the animals react before, or
I just never paid attention, Iguess. But all of her goats,
she's get this, the little minigoats, dude, every single one of
them. It starts getting dark andthey're all like like they literally like go

(17:44):
all like and then you know,it only lasts a few minutes and the
sun starts coming back out and thenthey're like, okay, well anyway,
but to go back to eating andshitting. I was like, that's pretty
that was pretty interesting. I've nevernever seen that before. I've never seen

(18:06):
the animals like actually react to itsay anything like that before, or like
I said, I never paid attention. I wanted to because I was at
my house when it happened, andI started seeing people come out of their
houses start looking up when it startedto get really dark, I just wanted
to just burst out of my housestart screaming, we're all gonna die,

(18:33):
go up and check for glasses.Nice. How funny would that have been?
Like get like a vest. Yeah, I'm walking out like you're uh,
you're observing with no eye protection.So I'm gonna have to find you.
That's actually funny that you say that. They said Google saw a recent

(18:56):
spike in searches on my eyes hurtright after the eclipse went went by.
Yeah, it's like, don't lookat the sun, you know. Yeah,
right, even if yeah, evenif there's eclipse, dude, what

(19:19):
if? What if? That's whatsaved everybody? Like what do you mean?
They were getting ready to do abunch of solar eclipse uh sacrifices,
and then they were like this ispretty deep, oh god, and then
got away. Yeah, dodged abullet. Yeah, education be damned.

(19:47):
You want to you want to growup and do what you want. You
look at that eclipse, You lookat the sud. You stare at the
sun. You guys ever have thisone? Like if you look up,
you know and this it's real,a real bright day. Like all I
said, you have to sneeze?Do you forget that? Like? Use
that if I feel a sneeze comingon. That won't happen. Is I'll

(20:11):
get one of those little glances uptowards the sun, not at the sun.
But yeah, you know, andit usually makes me sneeze immediately.
That's weird. Why are we allergicto bright light. I don't know what
because for us, for us,and lad lights don't do it either.
Yeah, I gotta know, Igotta no. This is the type of

(20:34):
of information that's needed out there.Yeah, okay, while you're looking at
it. See, I didn't havethe same experience with the eclipse you guys
did. I had a very negativeexperience with it because I was stuck in
traffic. Ah, because when thesun changes brightness, people forget how to

(20:56):
drive because there's string at the eclipsewhere they're driving. Yeah, it was
incredibly annoying. It's called photic sneezereflex. Ooh, that's such a fancy
name for it. Yeah. Itsays it's a observation from emerging from dim

(21:18):
light into sunlight commonly triggers the reflexprompted. I think reading about it's making
me have the sneeze. It is. What the fuck? What the fuck?
That's amazing. Okay, yeah,like, okay, it's a mystery.

(21:42):
But yeah. Reflexive sneezing induced bylight and sunlight is eighteen to thirty
five percent of the population is knownas the photic sneeze reflex or PSR.
Yeah, or the at chew autosomaldominant compulsive heliotrom thromic outbursts of steezing syndrome.

(22:04):
There's no way to remember at you, but I like it. Yeah,
I just call it at you,but just put like periods in between,
you know, in between each letter. Right's a look fancier. Uh
yeah, it doesn't really like explainwhy it happens. It just says it
definitely happens. I wonder why readingabout a sneeze made me sneeze, reading

(22:33):
about sneezing make me sneeze? What? What? That's awesome incidence. Apparently

(22:56):
sneezing is one of those things whereit's like, okay, as a shit
can make you sneeze? What thehell? It says? Here? Sneezing
considered to be a physiological defense mechanismand a psychological defense mechanism. I don't

(23:19):
understand that. Like, if you'rein a if you're in a brain a
brain twister, you're like, youryour defense is to sneeze at him and
then take off running. Perhaps youcould spit venom up to thirty five feet.
Yeah, I don't. I don'tget it. That's that's fucking weird

(23:42):
to me. This can't be realright, that's pretty wild if it is.
I was reading about sneezing and thenI had to sneeze, right,
coincidence the glove didn't fit. Didn'tfit on that one. The glove did

(24:04):
my bad so oh J approved approved. I had. I had something to
say, but I lost it.I'm I'm a piece of ship with all

(24:29):
the psychological effects of getting a threateningemail. Oh yeah for a two weeks,
you know what I mean. That'sbut okay, here's one thing that
I was going to show you guys. The This was the path of the
path that it was the eclipse wasgoing to go over. Yeah, you're

(24:52):
going to see. And then thatthe other one was the one that back
in twenty seventeen. Okay, apparentlythe one back its twenty seventeen was supposed
to pass over several cities named Salem. Hey, I remember that. Yeah,

(25:15):
and then there's another. This year'sone was supposed to pass over another
seven cities named Nerva, which theysaid that Nerva actually means like it's like
a bad omen or something that justI don't know why somebody would like if
if it meant something bad, whywould you name your it's the idiot deity

(25:37):
of sneezing. Yeah. Yeah.But the way that this one, this
one reeal, I get like Iguess you would say a preacher was saying
that this like it was in sevensand saying that this could be the like

(26:00):
God is coming soon that's what hesaid. He put coming soon at the
end of it teaser. Yeah,basically like yeah, he really for a
restaurant, like basically that's what likehe put God is coming soon. So
got because they said like something thatit's like about the rapture and stuff of

(26:23):
that nature. So I'm I don'tknow, Like that's why I said,
does he operate like a cheesecake factorygoing into a mall? You know?
I never did understand that though,Okay, like uh, it's got like
he doesn't. He doesn't need afucking eclipse to let you know. He's

(26:45):
just gonna show the funk up.He's you know what I mean, it's
God. He's gonna show up,spin the world upside down for like a
second, shake it up a littlebit, and then we're gonna be like,
ah, we all look up andhe's like, yeah, prophesize that.

(27:07):
Yeah, I'm just saying it's likeI don't I just personally am like
I think that it would be ahuge waste of time for a deity to
like I'm gonna send the full moon. I'm going to send the full moon
during the day to eclipse the sunbefore my arrival. Right, he can't

(27:32):
help but be like why I'm justI'm just saying, like the way that
they were making it sound is thathe's a huge like God is a huge
diva and he always has to makean entrance or something like he has to
make some type of fire show likethis. Yeah, like twenty twenty four

(27:53):
Jesus yo yo, Yeah, ifGod shows up like that, it's like
a wrestling show. He like inhalesall the like sparklers and it like runs
down this thing and it's like jumpsin the ring. I don't know why
there's a ring, but there's aring. A ring. Yeah, Statan's

(28:17):
in the ring, like oh Jesusand then Jesus like the fly elbow drop
to him and like, you knowwhy is the Why is macho man Randy
Savage the devil and Jesus he wasthe ship. It was awesome. I
have somebody awesome. Phul Cocaine couldplay Jesus in this, in this movie

(28:42):
when they do a movie of itlike later, Oh my god, dude,
it would be perfect. But Iwant to see it to where keeps
his blonde hair with his headband andhis huge mustache they glue like a brown
beard doing him. Oh my god, Bro, I'll tell you right now
if if that is how it goesdown, I'm religious from that point forward.

(29:04):
I'm in one hundred percent in ifJesus comes down and runs does the
cool jump where he slides under theunder the ropes into the ring, you
know what I mean, because that'sthat's a classic. Bro. Does this
make the Undertaker Gabriel? Yeah?Yeah, dude, he'd be perfect.

(29:29):
Yeah, you know. And thenJesus beats the ship out of Satan,
but Satan comes back and he's gothim down and he's like I'm saying,
I went, you know, andthen all of a sudden, Jesus like
bounces out of it because they alwaysdo that, you know what I mean,
you gotta do that. He's gettingaround. Where are the announcers because

(29:55):
that's what God wants. Where theannouncers were like, oh my god,
ladies and John. Then he bouncedout of it. What's going on?
What's going on? And you seeJesus and he's like and they're like,
oh my god, he's a Jesusmaniacs Jess a lady. And then like

(30:19):
Jesus comes up and he grabs hegrabs Satan and he elbow drops him like
four or five times, and hewins and he has the belt and he's
holding up his belt. I'm inone hundred percent in Oh man, this

(30:40):
is emotional world coaster over here.Like I didn't even tell him. I
be like, look, Jesus,like I've been kind of I've been,
you know, I've been a rockypath my whole life. But after seeing
you entered the ring to Motorhead andslide under the under the belt or under
the ropes, and and it's takingall the moves you did. But what

(31:03):
Motorhead songs? Oh god, uhriver killed that that'd be pretty good.
That'd that'd be pretty good. Dunksdance dance, Dan dancedant. Yeah,
Yeah, I like this. I'dbeen I'd be
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