June 6, 2025 • 15 mins
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[Legal note: If you are reading this on any other site aside from my Patreon, Youtube or Podcasting sites, this audio has been stolen & posted by criminals. It is likely a very unsafe site, so please be careful out there]
Patreon (Exclusive / Spicy Audio) - https://www.patreon.com/user?u=94522617
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@LaceyAudio
Wishlist - Throne: https://throne.com/laceyaudio/wishlist
NEW - Instagram! - https://www.instagram.com/laceyaudio/
Lacey Discord - https://discord.gg/KfwkmM7Vxn
NEW CHANNEL! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9BHUk2FZ7OLWyPIvB7D2CA
Twitch! - https://www.twitch.tv/laceyaudio
Music (I sing too!) - https://laceyaudio.bandcamp.com/
Merch - https://lacey-audio-merch.printify.me/products
Tips / Donations - https://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaceyAudio
Please don't feel any pressure to donate! I am having *so* much fun making these, and knowing anyone is enjoying them is honestly all I need.
[Legal note: If you are reading this on any other site aside from my Patreon, Youtube or Podcasting sites, this audio has been stolen & posted by criminals. It is likely a very unsafe site, so please be careful out there]
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ah, there you are skulking in the corner. Will you
stop stop turning your back to me? Okay, you've made
your point, you're mad, but can you please stop pouting? Now?
(00:25):
Turn around? Turn around? Good? Come here, come here now.
Don't make me ask twice. Fine, I was gonna give
(00:48):
you a cookie, but there we go. Good. Good. You
know I hate it when you sulk. Now listen, what
are you so upset about? Is it because of my
(01:10):
new friend? I am hoping that they become your new
friend too. You know, I think we could all be
really close and have a lot of fun together. But
that does not mean that I'm replacing you. Hey, look
(01:36):
at me. Do you really think a shiny new toy
could ever replace you? You are my first mm hmmm?
I mean, how could you not know that You're beautiful eyes,
(02:02):
your warm, soft cuddles no one could ever compare. Do
you want to know a secret? When I brought home
that distraction, all I could think about was will you
(02:27):
hate me for this? I was so worried from the
second I decided to But they really needed help. They
didn't have anyone, and I thought I could help them
(02:47):
be their friend and maybe you might come around. Too.
I know it's an adjustment. It's always just been me
and you. We are a team and we will always be.
But the cool thing about love is there's always enough
(03:12):
to go around. Just because we open our hearts to
others does not mean that we love each other any less,
And it does not mean that I love you any less.
You understand that, right, Hey, come on, let's go sit
(03:39):
on the couch together. Our show is almost on. Don't worry.
Our new friend is upstairs in the guest room settling in.
Come on, good, you're so good. Yeah, on my lap. Ah.
(04:09):
I knew you couldn't hate me forever. See, it's just
like normal. Oh, hey, no, that was not very nice. Okay, well,
I'm sure you probably didn't mean to scratch me, but
(04:33):
can you try to be a bit more careful? Ah?
You are really sad, aren't you? Poor thing? Hey hey,
there's nothing to be sad about. Nothing is going to change.
(04:58):
I promise you and I will always be you and
I I know it feels scary right now, and I
get that, but don't you trust me. I would never
(05:21):
put you in a position that I thought would make
you really unhappy. In the long run, soon you'll see. Hey, actually,
let me give you your nightly massage that perked you
(05:42):
up a cozy up to me. No scratching there you go,
rub your neck here just like you love. Mm hmm
You're so cute. See I love my little cutie. Mm hmmm,
(06:15):
yes I do right behind your ears scotchy, scotchy, scotchy.
I love the way your eyes squint when I do that.
I'm so cute. And here's another secret. You are still
(06:47):
the absolute most cutest one in my life. Hm, just
adorees there? Does that feel nice? Yeah? And a little
(07:08):
head scotchy scotchy. Oh no, no, no way, am I
rubbing your belly? I know it's a trap. It's a
trap me, little cutie, you are such a good kiddy
(07:33):
and I love you. You never have to worry about
me getting other pets, especially a silly little ferret. You'll
always be my number one. April fools, Hey, this is lazy.
(08:04):
Thank you so much for listening. That one was really
especially fun for me to write to act out. Sorry
if I tricked you. I've been planning that one for
a few weeks now. If you follow my twitch streams
(08:27):
or even my YouTube streams, you'll know that I have
a little kitty cat named Purce Hilton, and purs is
a total sweetie, but she is a total diva and
she always wants to be the prettiest one in the room.
And she is extremely jealous, like extremely jealous. And all
(08:52):
of you who have been hanging out with me on
the stream, you wanted me to get a second pet,
and so we got all of our muffins. Who is
a very silly ferret who comes into my streams every
so often and steals my muffins, as ferrets do. Anyone
who's ever owned a ferret knows that they love to steal,
(09:15):
and they like take their treasures and like hide them
under the couch and stuff. And so when I was
trying to think of like a funny audio for April
Fool's Day, I thought it would be really funny to
start one off that just kind of sounds like any
old audio. But then, like you slowly realize as the listener, wait,
(09:36):
am I a cat? And so I just thought it
would be very silly. So I hope you enjoyed being
a kiddy and getting some scratches. So thank you so
much for listening, and thank you to everyone in Patreon.
I really, really I hope you all know how much
(09:57):
I appreciate you. I appreciate you so so, so so much.
You guys have been what has been making it possible
for me to continue doing this, and I love doing
this so much, so I'm just so ever so grateful
to you all. Thanks to everyone who has been hanging
out of my streams on Sundays and Thursdays over on Twitch,
(10:19):
we sing some songs, we have so many laughs, so
many like sleep inside jokes that keep growing and growing
and growing, and it's just literally like the funnest thing
I do all week. So thank you guys for hanging out.
And a couple other thank yous. Oh my god, you
guys are so kind to me. I want to say
(10:42):
thank you to Jade Blue, my amazing friend, for sending
me a Bluetooth shower speaker through Throne. I am so excited.
You have no idea. I always put my phone in
a bowl to try to like make it louder when
(11:02):
I'm in the shower, but the second I get in
the shower, can't hear anything, And so I was like
daydreaming one day how cool it would be to have
a shower speaker, and so I'm so excited for it
to come in to have shower dance parties. But you
don't want to dance too hard, you know what I mean,
because it's slippery. But you know, Jane, thank you so much.
(11:23):
That was so sweet of you. I can't even it
is just amazing, amazing and lying in winter. Oh my gosh,
thank you so much for the one hundred dollars rent helper.
It seriously helps more than you know, more than you know.
It is so scary, as you all know, you know,
(11:44):
making sure you have rent every month. So thank you
so much. I am just ever, ever, ever so grateful,
and thank you for contributing to I have a like
a crowdfunding going on throne for new computer. I was
explaining to everyone on Twitch yesterday about how my computer's
(12:10):
battery started exploding in the computer and it was terrifying
and thankfully it's still usable. I caught it in time.
So I looked at my keyboard and I was like,
wait a second, that's like really bulging. That's like really
like weirdly bulging, and so I like unplugged in. I
was like, this is not normal. And I found like,
(12:32):
you know that like a computer like store that like
also fixes computers, and they're like, yeah, your battery was
starting to explode, and they're like it's a really good
thing you were home and you caught it, because it
probably would have caught on fire and started a fire.
And I was like, oh my god, Oh my god,
that's crazy. And I like I called the maker of
(12:55):
the computer it's an omen, and told them. They were
I'm so unbothered. They're like, oh okay, like and I
was like, don't you want like the details to like
write it down in case it's happening like to other computers.
I'm like, we're good. And like they didn't offer like
to do anything about it because it is out of warranty,
like you know, it's not like a new computer or anything.
(13:18):
But anyway, so they offered me like a discount, like
I'd kind of asked for it, and they offered me
a discount on a new battery, but it was still
really expensive. So what I'm doing right now, thankfully it
is still usable, is I'm just plugging it in. But
it is a really old computer and uh, like this
sea drive is like so full and even and I
(13:40):
take out everything that I know what it is, but
the Sea Drive like makes all these like weird like
Windows files that I don't know what they are, so
I don't know what I can actually even get rid of.
So anyway, uh, she is an old old bird and
I'm very thankful for her. She's she's done a lot
for me for the years, but she's definitely about to
(14:03):
fall down. And she almost exploded the other day, so
that was fun. So anyways, thank you so much, Lyne
and Winter for getting me closer to getting a new computer.
I'm so so, so so thankful. And again Jade Blue
for your kind shower speaker. You guys are amazing, amazing, amazing,
(14:24):
and literally you all are the reason that I can
keep making this stuff. So I love you all so much.
I'm going to give you a big souper squeeze, big
big squeeze, and let me know in the comments if
you want to share any of your favorite April Fool's
(14:46):
Day pranks. I love a good prank when it's in
like good fun, when it's in good spirit, obviously, but
I love a good prank. When I was a kid,
one of the things that we used to do is
switch the cereal bags in the cereal boxes. So then
when like our parents would like poor cereal, they think
they were getting cheerios, and they would get like fruit
(15:06):
loops or something that kind of stuff. Let me know
what your favorite little little barmless spranks are anyways. All right,
love you guys, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
Ah, there you are skulking in the corner. Will you
stop stop turning your back to me? Okay, you've made
your point, you're mad, but can you please stop pouting? Now?
(00:25):
Turn around? Turn around? Good? Come here, come here now.
Don't make me ask twice. Fine, I was gonna give
(00:48):
you a cookie, but there we go. Good. Good. You
know I hate it when you sulk. Now listen, what
are you so upset about? Is it because of my
(01:10):
new friend? I am hoping that they become your new
friend too. You know, I think we could all be
really close and have a lot of fun together. But
that does not mean that I'm replacing you. Hey, look
(01:36):
at me. Do you really think a shiny new toy
could ever replace you? You are my first mm hmmm?
I mean, how could you not know that You're beautiful eyes,
(02:02):
your warm, soft cuddles no one could ever compare. Do
you want to know a secret? When I brought home
that distraction, all I could think about was will you
(02:27):
hate me for this? I was so worried from the
second I decided to But they really needed help. They
didn't have anyone, and I thought I could help them
(02:47):
be their friend and maybe you might come around. Too.
I know it's an adjustment. It's always just been me
and you. We are a team and we will always be.
But the cool thing about love is there's always enough
(03:12):
to go around. Just because we open our hearts to
others does not mean that we love each other any less,
And it does not mean that I love you any less.
You understand that, right, Hey, come on, let's go sit
(03:39):
on the couch together. Our show is almost on. Don't worry.
Our new friend is upstairs in the guest room settling in.
Come on, good, you're so good. Yeah, on my lap. Ah.
(04:09):
I knew you couldn't hate me forever. See, it's just
like normal. Oh, hey, no, that was not very nice. Okay, well,
I'm sure you probably didn't mean to scratch me, but
(04:33):
can you try to be a bit more careful? Ah?
You are really sad, aren't you? Poor thing? Hey hey,
there's nothing to be sad about. Nothing is going to change.
(04:58):
I promise you and I will always be you and
I I know it feels scary right now, and I
get that, but don't you trust me. I would never
(05:21):
put you in a position that I thought would make
you really unhappy. In the long run, soon you'll see. Hey, actually,
let me give you your nightly massage that perked you
(05:42):
up a cozy up to me. No scratching there you go,
rub your neck here just like you love. Mm hmm
You're so cute. See I love my little cutie. Mm hmmm,
(06:15):
yes I do right behind your ears scotchy, scotchy, scotchy.
I love the way your eyes squint when I do that.
I'm so cute. And here's another secret. You are still
(06:47):
the absolute most cutest one in my life. Hm, just
adorees there? Does that feel nice? Yeah? And a little
(07:08):
head scotchy scotchy. Oh no, no, no way, am I
rubbing your belly? I know it's a trap. It's a
trap me, little cutie, you are such a good kiddy
(07:33):
and I love you. You never have to worry about
me getting other pets, especially a silly little ferret. You'll
always be my number one. April fools, Hey, this is lazy.
(08:04):
Thank you so much for listening. That one was really
especially fun for me to write to act out. Sorry
if I tricked you. I've been planning that one for
a few weeks now. If you follow my twitch streams
(08:27):
or even my YouTube streams, you'll know that I have
a little kitty cat named Purce Hilton, and purs is
a total sweetie, but she is a total diva and
she always wants to be the prettiest one in the room.
And she is extremely jealous, like extremely jealous. And all
(08:52):
of you who have been hanging out with me on
the stream, you wanted me to get a second pet,
and so we got all of our muffins. Who is
a very silly ferret who comes into my streams every
so often and steals my muffins, as ferrets do. Anyone
who's ever owned a ferret knows that they love to steal,
(09:15):
and they like take their treasures and like hide them
under the couch and stuff. And so when I was
trying to think of like a funny audio for April
Fool's Day, I thought it would be really funny to
start one off that just kind of sounds like any
old audio. But then, like you slowly realize as the listener, wait,
(09:36):
am I a cat? And so I just thought it
would be very silly. So I hope you enjoyed being
a kiddy and getting some scratches. So thank you so
much for listening, and thank you to everyone in Patreon.
I really, really I hope you all know how much
(09:57):
I appreciate you. I appreciate you so so, so so much.
You guys have been what has been making it possible
for me to continue doing this, and I love doing
this so much, so I'm just so ever so grateful
to you all. Thanks to everyone who has been hanging
out of my streams on Sundays and Thursdays over on Twitch,
(10:19):
we sing some songs, we have so many laughs, so
many like sleep inside jokes that keep growing and growing
and growing, and it's just literally like the funnest thing
I do all week. So thank you guys for hanging out.
And a couple other thank yous. Oh my god, you
guys are so kind to me. I want to say
(10:42):
thank you to Jade Blue, my amazing friend, for sending
me a Bluetooth shower speaker through Throne. I am so excited.
You have no idea. I always put my phone in
a bowl to try to like make it louder when
(11:02):
I'm in the shower, but the second I get in
the shower, can't hear anything, And so I was like
daydreaming one day how cool it would be to have
a shower speaker, and so I'm so excited for it
to come in to have shower dance parties. But you
don't want to dance too hard, you know what I mean,
because it's slippery. But you know, Jane, thank you so much.
(11:23):
That was so sweet of you. I can't even it
is just amazing, amazing and lying in winter. Oh my gosh,
thank you so much for the one hundred dollars rent helper.
It seriously helps more than you know, more than you know.
It is so scary, as you all know, you know,
(11:44):
making sure you have rent every month. So thank you
so much. I am just ever, ever, ever so grateful,
and thank you for contributing to I have a like
a crowdfunding going on throne for new computer. I was
explaining to everyone on Twitch yesterday about how my computer's
(12:10):
battery started exploding in the computer and it was terrifying
and thankfully it's still usable. I caught it in time.
So I looked at my keyboard and I was like,
wait a second, that's like really bulging. That's like really
like weirdly bulging, and so I like unplugged in. I
was like, this is not normal. And I found like,
(12:32):
you know that like a computer like store that like
also fixes computers, and they're like, yeah, your battery was
starting to explode, and they're like it's a really good
thing you were home and you caught it, because it
probably would have caught on fire and started a fire.
And I was like, oh my god, Oh my god,
that's crazy. And I like I called the maker of
(12:55):
the computer it's an omen, and told them. They were
I'm so unbothered. They're like, oh okay, like and I
was like, don't you want like the details to like
write it down in case it's happening like to other computers.
I'm like, we're good. And like they didn't offer like
to do anything about it because it is out of warranty,
like you know, it's not like a new computer or anything.
(13:18):
But anyway, so they offered me like a discount, like
I'd kind of asked for it, and they offered me
a discount on a new battery, but it was still
really expensive. So what I'm doing right now, thankfully it
is still usable, is I'm just plugging it in. But
it is a really old computer and uh, like this
sea drive is like so full and even and I
(13:40):
take out everything that I know what it is, but
the Sea Drive like makes all these like weird like
Windows files that I don't know what they are, so
I don't know what I can actually even get rid of.
So anyway, uh, she is an old old bird and
I'm very thankful for her. She's she's done a lot
for me for the years, but she's definitely about to
(14:03):
fall down. And she almost exploded the other day, so
that was fun. So anyways, thank you so much, Lyne
and Winter for getting me closer to getting a new computer.
I'm so so, so so thankful. And again Jade Blue
for your kind shower speaker. You guys are amazing, amazing, amazing,
(14:24):
and literally you all are the reason that I can
keep making this stuff. So I love you all so much.
I'm going to give you a big souper squeeze, big
big squeeze, and let me know in the comments if
you want to share any of your favorite April Fool's
(14:46):
Day pranks. I love a good prank when it's in
like good fun, when it's in good spirit, obviously, but
I love a good prank. When I was a kid,
one of the things that we used to do is
switch the cereal bags in the cereal boxes. So then
when like our parents would like poor cereal, they think
they were getting cheerios, and they would get like fruit
(15:06):
loops or something that kind of stuff. Let me know
what your favorite little little barmless spranks are anyways. All right,
love you guys, I'll talk to you soon. Bye.
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