March 19, 2021 • 47 mins
In this unfiltered and deeply personal episode of Unfiltered Power, USA Rugby stars Ilona Maher and Naya Tapper open up about one of the most relatable — yet rarely discussed — parts of being an elite athlete: dating while playing professional sport. From navigating relationships on the road to finding partners who understand the grind, Ilona and Naya share hilarious, heartfelt, and brutally honest insights into love, attraction, and vulnerability behind the powerhouse personas. This candid conversation dives into how confidence, independence, and ambition shape their views on dating, what red flags they’ve learned to avoid, and how they balance being fierce competitors with the desire for genuine human connection. Whether you’re a rugby fan, athlete, or just curious about the love lives of strong women who own their space — this episode will make you laugh, reflect, and feel inspired.
🎙️ Tune in for real talk, real laughs, and real love stories from two of rugby’s biggest stars.
Keywords:
Ilona Maher, Naya Tapper, USA Rugby, women’s rugby, dating as an athlete, athlete relationships, rugby podcast, women in sports, love and sports, athlete lifestyle, female empowerment, sports podcast, rugby sevens, relationships, women’s empowerment, female athletes, behind the scenes rugby, Unfiltered Power Podcast, dating podcast, athlete dating stories, sports and love, motivational podcast, female sports icons, athlete interviews.
For more information, links and resources plus conversations from the world of women’s sport including articles, blogs, videos and podcasts visit wispsports.com. WiSP Sports is the World’s First and Only Podcast Network for Women’s Sport with more than 60 hosts, 1300+ episodes across 50 shows and over 7 million downloads. WiSP Sports is on all major podcast players. Follow WiSP Sports on social media @WiSPsports. Contact us at info@wispsports.com.
🎙️ Tune in for real talk, real laughs, and real love stories from two of rugby’s biggest stars.
Keywords:
Ilona Maher, Naya Tapper, USA Rugby, women’s rugby, dating as an athlete, athlete relationships, rugby podcast, women in sports, love and sports, athlete lifestyle, female empowerment, sports podcast, rugby sevens, relationships, women’s empowerment, female athletes, behind the scenes rugby, Unfiltered Power Podcast, dating podcast, athlete dating stories, sports and love, motivational podcast, female sports icons, athlete interviews.
For more information, links and resources plus conversations from the world of women’s sport including articles, blogs, videos and podcasts visit wispsports.com. WiSP Sports is the World’s First and Only Podcast Network for Women’s Sport with more than 60 hosts, 1300+ episodes across 50 shows and over 7 million downloads. WiSP Sports is on all major podcast players. Follow WiSP Sports on social media @WiSPsports. Contact us at info@wispsports.com.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:07):
Here we go, hay Cubs,and welcome to the Leo's. Then.
My name's Naia and I'm one ofyour co hosts. And a fun fact
about me, I am in arelationship, Hay Cubs, I'm Elna.
My Teerios called me love I factabout me. I've been single for about
almost twenty five years now, sothat's my whole life. And we are
(00:34):
two Leo's to hear ourselves talk,all right, So we always start out
with a horoscope. So this horoscopetoday is a friend could be having financial
troubles and ask you for a loan. Leo. You like this person and
understand what he or she is goingthrough, so you want to help,
But it could be a while beforeyour friend is solvent again if you make
(00:56):
the loan. Remember the adage aboutnever lending anything to friend that you aren't
willing to consider a gift. Don'tdepend on immediate repayment thoughts nyah Um.
First of all, it made methink about I was put doing a joke
on my boyfriend. I'm like,I'm gonna ask him for some money,
tell him I need some money.To see what he was saying, Yeah,
I say When I first asked him. He was like, uh no,
(01:26):
he said, I was just kidding. You know, if you really
needed it, I would give itto you. But I know you're lying
right now. So yeah, yeah, I would definitely give them money.
Um, but I would also belike one of those who be like,
hey, remember that alone I gaveyou check your friend, I need it.
(01:47):
Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't wantto give it to them, I
think. I mean, I'm oneof those friends where like, you gotta
do it for me first, soI know, like you're honest, I
need that trust built there in orderto give you some money because you know
how important money is to me.Oh no, it's number one on NI
(02:07):
is less money then her boyfriend.Okay, guys, so the topic for
today is the dating life of afemale rugby player. Yes, exciting times.
So first thing, we want totalk about our current dating situations.
We kind of give you a littleintake into that just from our fun facts.
(02:30):
But as I was saying, I'min a relationship, it kind of
blossomed during the quarantine, So shoutout to that time because most people were
lonely and I was, you know, I'll cut it up and happy.
What about you? Low? Yeah, COVID has not been as nice to
me as it has been to youin that sense. I like to think
(02:53):
I'm really discovering myself again, youknow. Is it my choice? Not
really no, But you know,I haven't really met anyone. I like.
Sometimes we'll get on dating apps andthen be like, Okay, it's
that for me, and then I'lltry other things. But it's it's I'm
pretty single and thriving right now,I guess. And so you said in
(03:13):
your fun Fact that you've been singlefor about twenty five years. How old
are you? I'm twenty four,so it'll be twenty five in August.
I've literally I've never had a boyfriendbefore. I did not know that about
you. Yeah, I've had howdo we say, very good buddies,
But I've never had somebody who I'vecalled like that's my boyfriend, I'm their
(03:35):
girlfriend. Um. I don't knowwhy that is. Could be could be
my fault, I could be annoying, could be their fault. I get
bored very easily. I didn't reallystart, I guess dating until like senior
year of college. Though I neverhad a boyfriend in wow, I know,
never in high school, about incollege, like I was, as
we talked about in the Body Confidenceepisode, I did not consider myself a
(03:58):
hot commodity. Everybody wanted my sisterand no, who's really after me.
So it's been a tough go andI want to say, cubs correct me
if I'm wrong. Maybe it's aLeo thing because I've only had like this
would be the third boyfriend and mylife, and like one of them lasted
maybe a couple of months. Matterof fact, fourth boyfriend I lied.
(04:20):
See I'm forgetting people. Anyways.One of the things that I want to
talk about is what our craziest orfunniest dates are that we have been on.
Now, I personally thank you God, have never had a crazy or
weird or strange dating situation. Butmy lovely Leo lo he so love Would
(04:46):
you like to go a little moreinto that. Well, I've been so
excited for this, almost naia becauselike I was, like, yo,
nah, I got this. Ihaven't experienced on a date. I didn't
tell her. I just kept tellingme about this experience we're gonna have,
like, Yo, got something I'mgonna share for you. So I just
had a terrible date ones and itwas a guy who likes. So do
you ever like respond to guys whoDM you depends on what they look like.
(05:11):
Okay, yeah, so I'll gocheck his profile. I check his
profile. I was like, okay, he's pretty cute. Yeah, I'll
message him back. And so wewere messaging back and forth and like he
we had really good banterer together,like he was funny. I was like,
okay, I kind of like he'sfunny, he's keeping up with me.
And so he asked me on aday and so he and I was
like, yeah, okay, Iwant to date with you. And so
he comes and picks me up.That's my first mistake. All right,
(05:32):
first mistake there. You need todrive yourself wherever you go, so you
have the out. I have nowlearned this. I also hate driving,
so that's fun me too, weretwin. I just would rather not.
And he was gonna be hes likea really nice car, so he's gonna
pick me up. So I waslike it was like an Audie something.
(05:54):
Okay, Um, so he picksme up. But then immediately you don't
immediately when you're with somebody and youjust really okay, the vibes are not
on here, Like immediately I don'teven think you said a word. And
I got in the car and Iwas like, this isn't it. The
vibes are off. So we startheading to like the restaurant, and I
just remember him like it wasn't theperson that I was messaging with on DMS,
(06:17):
Like he wasn't funny. He wasalmost trying to be like cool and
like just laid back. I waslike, no, where's the funny guy
who was making good jokes to me? Like why why hasn't he come to
the front. I can understand.Maybe I'm like intimidating real life. I
came out when my heels in mydress. So we go to a restaurant
and well, he first he recommendedthis place to be over dam and I
(06:39):
was like, yeah, that looksgood, but I think you need restavations.
He's like, oh no, youdon't. You're good. So we
go to the restaurant. He likeplops me out on the curb to go
and get a table at the restaurant. So I'm stopping around in my heels
and I'm like, hey, doyou have a table for two? And
they're like no, it's a freakingSaturday night. We don't have over two.
So I try that place and thenI go try some other places and
(07:00):
he's parking the car. I'm onmy own, so I'm walking around on
my heels, and so we meetback up and I was like, well,
there's no places, so we justhad We're gonna go back into downtown
and find a place there. Here'sthe kicker. As I'm waiting for him
to get the car, I'm lookingfire, this old man in this white
Jaguar pulls up and he asked formy number. I wanted to get in
the car with this old man beforeI got with the other dude, But
(07:26):
did you give him a number?I was about to. I was like,
I asked him them who. Iwas like, do you want to
be my sugar daddy? Because wecould have something going on? So he
was like I was like. Theold man was like wait, yeah,
sure, So he gets out hisphone. He's like trying to get my
number, but the car start honkingat him to keep moving, and so
I didn't get given my numbers.So that right there is my one of
(07:47):
my biggest regrets in life, notpossibly getting a sugar daddy in the white
Jaguar. So then I end uphaving just get into the car with the
dude with my with the date thatI was on, and so we just
find a restaurant who was like barelyanybody at it. And so at the
beginning of the night, he wasalready kind of late picking me up because
he was watching a basketball game.And you know me, I don't I
(08:09):
don't mess with lateness. I wantyou to be on time, especially if
you're gonna come get me for adate. I'm a leo, you gotta
be on time. Yeah. Sohe's late, and so at the table
already vibes are off. I'm justnot feeling it. He's like, can
I watch the basketball game? Atthe table, starts watching the basketball game
on his phone. I was like, yeah, sure, I was at
(08:31):
this point would rather have sat insilence and stared at a wall than had
to keep talking to him. Sohe pulls out his phone and just starts
watching the Lakers played. Honestly,I said, I didn't even look at
my phone. I just sat thereand was like looking around. I was
like, this is it. Thisis all I want. I don't even
food was terrible, It just wasn'tgood. The talk wasn't really great.
So at the end I offered topay. I was like, no,
(08:54):
I'll play half, and he waslike no, no, no, what
go ahead. No. I wasjust like, no, you get it
off to pay up. But sohe paid for whom on. So then
the problem he drove me that wasmy problem. And so he's like,
so, do you want to cometo my place and watch a show?
And I was like I should havejust said no, there I didn't.
So he went day Is place andhe's like, do you want to watch
(09:16):
a movie? I was like,no, it's fine this show. Let's
find a good forty minute a halfan hour show. So he watched this
show and I'm just like, youknow when they just want to get closer
to you, and I was justedging away from him on the couch as
far as possible. I was like, I'm gonna sit over here. So
I have to go bathroom at hisplace. The toilet was so disgusting,
(09:37):
Naia, We've talked about this.We talked like, you know, sitting
versus squatting over the toilet. Icouldn't even sit on the toilet Nia.
I was out there like trying tohold my squatting over it, not wanting
to touch everything. It was sogross, so like I couldn't do it,
and I was I couldn't even washmy hand. I washed my hands,
I couldn't touch anything. God sentyou every opportunity to do the right
(10:05):
thing, and every time you chosethat, God, God don't send me.
God send me that man in theJaguars. I should blame the guy,
are you at this point? Honestly, I blame myself. I think
about it and I cringe. Sothe toilet's disgusting it. I'm just thinking,
like, if this man's is bringinga woman home, you couldn't have
(10:26):
just brought a little one two inthe toilet, just wiped it down a
little bit. So I go backout, the shell finishes, and then
he immediately wants to make on.I'm like, get the heck away from
me, sir. I was like, I need to go. I need
to go. So we got inhis car and so I one who likes
to be just pretty honest, andI was like, so, how do
you think that went? He waslike, yeah, I think pretty good,
(10:48):
Like vibes are on it, andI was like, I'm gonna be
honest, it wasn't it for me. I don't think I want to continue
this, but thank you, andso I thought we kind of left it
there because I didn't want to ghosthim rather than at that. And then
guess who slid into my DMS likea week ago, and it was like
hey, sliding back in and Iwas like, hey, not opening that
(11:11):
request, slide right back out.It was just so bad. I still
just like cringe and I just needto I think now, honestly, COVID
has helped me to be like,you're better than that if you don't want
like something to get out of there. Yeah, he was a nice kid,
but I was like, once justfrom the first second, it wasn't
for me. I want to knowwhat he looked like? Can you describe
(11:33):
him for us and the listeners?He was a tall black man, very
attractive, worked in the navy.But I mean, yeah, it's really
cute, you know, in hislittle navy uniform, had a great car.
It just wasn't for me. Vibefor off. He was very attractive,
but everything else just didn't work out. It's so weird that I asked
(11:58):
you. I wanted to ask you, like what he looked like because I
remember you telling me about a tallblack guy that you we're talking to or
something, and he was really funand stuff. Because a guy reached out
to me and my DMS and heI think I remember showing me a picture
of him. It looked like thatguy and he's like, oh, I'm
doing like social media for this companyand I would love to like meet up
(12:20):
and help you. And I'm like, don't do it, like you look
familiar. So now, like Idon't know if I should ever m like
go for somebody who DMS me,but I don't mind it. Like dming
and all sorts of things are likethe ways that we're meeting people now,
Like I I've DM people and I'vegotten some great responses and it just worked
(12:43):
out great for me. But I'mgonna be more a little bit more selective
with like who I pick. Yeah, Like do you have a before you've
met Wesley, did you have atype? Niam? I love the funny
guys and likes to have a goodtime like anybody similar to me. Yeah,
(13:05):
but also allows me to be atleast halfway in control, you know,
not intimidated by independence, but alsolike can tell me all right now,
yeah, let me pay for thebill, and you're like okay for
(13:28):
me, I always say I don'thave a type because you know me,
I'm pretty baried. I'm like,if you're attractive, befo we're working,
I'm like, oh, I'll gofor it. Yeah. But for people
who say that like such a specifictype, like I need to have dark
and hands and I need this,I'm like, well, what if my
soulmate is a blonde haired, blueeyed Scandinavian man. Yeah, and I'm
(13:48):
like, only tall, dark andhandsome for me. You're just you know,
shutting out big part of population.So I don't have a type,
but there is has been some consistencieswith who I've um been into. Yeah,
but I'm a free spirit, Iguess. I feel like like when
you're younger, older people are like, it's about the personality, and you're
(14:11):
like blah blah blah, and Iwant to But when you get older,
you're like, well, ship,it is about the personality actually, like
it's really important. And that's wherethat part comes in, where you're saying,
like a physical type that doesn't reallymatter at the end of the day,
because it's about how you vibe withpeople, and yeah, that is
attraction in its own. Did youever use dating apps before? Like Wiseley
(14:37):
Um Like, when I first movedout to California, I was fresh out
of college, so I'm like,where a minute, ready to get it?
So I did use like tender andbumble, but I never had the
patience for it. Um yeah,I couldn't last on it for max two
(15:01):
days, same and I'm like,nah, I'm good. I tried it
twice since I had moved out here. I've been living out here for five
years, and after two days eachtime, I was just like, I
don't this is not for me.Yeah. Yeah, I will consistently just
like download it, not finding anything, delete it. And then three months
later I'm like, well, letme try that again, So I'll download
(15:24):
it again, not buying anything,and just like it's this repetitive cycle.
I've never I don't think I've everbeen on date with somebody from those apps.
Yeah, point where I just sawa TikTok where it was like set
your preferences to a higher age range, So I got my preferences up to
like twenty years older than me.I'm pulling out the big guns at this
point. All right, I'm solutelybut I've always been like I don't have
(15:45):
a type, but I have usuallybeen into guys who are older than me.
I think that could be back tolike our energy, maybe our leo
energy, just like wanting someone who'smature or Yeah, as women were usually
mature faster than men, so that'swhat we want out of man a man.
Yeah, but it's a tough marketout there, and like on the
West Coast, like most of thoseguys on those dating apps are in the
(16:08):
military, and me personally, Ican't do it. Yeah, I don't
know what it is. I don'tknow. I can't interesting because that was
one of my cub questions that somebodysent into me, was like, why
don't women want to date military men? And I don't really know what they're
even The reason is, I thinkthere are a lot of women who feel
that way. I've been on dateswith military dudes. I don't think I'm
(16:30):
opposed to it, but I don'tI don't really. As we said,
we both don't really have type,but it's like maybe something that we kind
of automatically just geared towards. Ithink it's not necessarily their personality or physical
traits, but their lifestyle. LikeI've come from the military life where you're
moving around a lot. The guysnot barely ever there I'm not I don't
(16:52):
want to deal with that, LikeI don't I want as much attention as
I can get and you can't giveme that from bag that. So yeah,
rather keep that, stay away fromthat. But I have some military
guys because out here you can yewhere. Yeah. So I don't know.
So we're classical Leos, like we'restrong minded, powerful woman you know,
(17:14):
we're looking for a man that canhandle that. Like how have you found
ben like that? And like whatwhat are your requirements or like what do
men do for you that shows youthat they can take you and they're what
you're looking for. I think forme it's been like the balance of letting
(17:36):
me control at times because that islike in me and being okay with that
and that not making you feel likelesser of a man. And then it's
also you being able to take controlwhen I'm sometimes doing too much. And
just like effort is super super importantfor me, where if you can get
the same effort that I'm giving,we're gonna work out. And I think
(17:57):
Leo's I've been and like super attractedto Leo's because Leo men because they have
the same mentality, like the successmentality, the independence mentality, the effort
mentality. That's all been there forme. So that's probably why I'm with
(18:18):
a Leo right now. Yeah.Yeah, I think for me it's that
I have a very strong personality,so it's going to take a certain person
who will maybe find an attractive becausewe're not for everybody. Yeah, no
one is for everybody. So Ithink for me, it's like when I
find somebody who is like, reallylikes my personality. Even again, it
(18:38):
doesn't sometimes matter exactly what he lookslike, but I'm like, wait a
second, he's vibing with my loudass. Yeah all right, so maybe
I'll get him a chance. Imean it's tough, and like I think
that's again, like what we'll talkabout with confidence is like learning to accept
that that's who you are, that'syour personality, so that that person you're
going to be with has to acceptthat as well. I don't. I
(19:00):
think one thing for me is like, and you probably do the same thing,
is not changing who you are whenyou're with that person, Yeah,
which I just would hate the thoughtof because I see some girls who like,
when they're with their boyfriends, you'relike, is not my friend?
Who is this person? Yeah,and it's scary, Like have you ever
found yourself doing that with dude,like wanting to change or if you are
(19:22):
attracted if somebody wanted to change andkind of like fit their mold of a
perfect girl. Yeah, I thinkevery girl does that a little bit with
people that they're in relationships with orlooking to get the interest of, just
because you want to feel wanted andyou want to do what you think they
would like, do what you thinkthey would be attracted to you for,
(19:45):
or make you like an outlier inreference to all the other girls in the
world because and you know you're competingin a sense. So it's like,
how do I make myself stand out? Well, let me be the perfect
of what he thinks a woman shouldbe like. And eventually it's like that's
too hard. I don't have timefor that, and yeah, is it
(20:06):
even working? So at this pointlong term, you can't do that forever,
you know. So it's like it'sin my best interest to show you
him who I am from the start, because if you can accept that,
then you're for me, and ifyou can't, then you're not oh deep
not deep boom So how do youjuggle your dating life with your professional life,
(20:27):
Because we're trying. We usually travela lot, we train a lot,
We're tired constantly from training so hard, we get bruises, we're aggressive,
Like, how do you juggle that? It has taken a while.
You know, some years I wasfavoring my love life over my professional life.
(20:47):
Some years I was favoring my professionallife over my love life. And
I think it all comes down topriorities, and for me, my priority
was rugby. I wanted to goto the Olympics. I wanted to be
this amazing rugby player. But Ialso want to have somebody who I can
hang out with and enjoy their presencewhen I'm not playing rugby, when I'm
(21:10):
not at work, you want likea disconnect from your job, and having
somebody who you care about to bethat disconnect is very nice. It's very
relaxing to the mind, and itkeeps you sane from work because work can
be stressful sometimes and sometimes you needsomebody to be there to vent and be
that shorter you need. So Ithink it's all about scheduling, organization,
(21:33):
and planning ahead. For me,like I know what days are best for
us to hang out best on bothof our schedules. I know, on
this day maybe we should do somethingchill because we both had training versus on
this day we were all so let'sgo to a bar or something like that.
I think it's all about knowledge ofwho you're dating and knowledge of yourself
(21:56):
and what you need on certain days, because some days after training, I
want to be by myself and somedays I want to hang out with the
person i'm dating or a person i'mtalking too. So I think with the
priorities, it all depends on howit's going to make you feel you are
most important. Yes, So rememberingthat I think will help with the juggling
(22:22):
aspect. And do you kind oflike when you are gone for like two
weeks, you know, I thinkhe likes it more than I mean.
I think it's good to Like everybodysays like, you want to be able
to miss somebody every now and thenso that when you come back together it's
all butterflies again. But I thinkfor me that's kind of something that's made
(22:45):
up. For me, it's alwaysbutterflies. And I probably miss him after
you know, a day and hejust left and I'm like, oh,
come back and they're like, relax, I'll see you in two days.
I don't know, but awesome.Yeah. You're pretty private though about your
(23:10):
your dating, like you don't poston social media really yeah, And I
think that's changed over time too.Where the last two guys I dated,
they were very private about their datinglife. So not that I was like,
oh, I'm gonna do what theyasked or what they tell me to
do, but they gave me adifferent perspective on the importance of privacy in
(23:34):
your love life, especially with socialmedia. Like when you expose people to
certain aspects of your life, theyfeel like they have the right to have
an opinion about it and to speakon it, and that can lead to
some negativity, not only for yourselfbut in your relationship. I think people
(23:56):
always want to be in your businessand for good reasons. So I think
that's where I was able to say, Okay, I hear where you're coming
from. I'd be down to dothat, And so far it's been amazing
for me and something that I'll definitelycontinue doing until you know, big things
happen. Then it's like, hey, you see my ring and a new
(24:19):
woman and broll, like, whois that who is this man dating?
Yeah, well I was thinking,like, so i think I'm just a
classic LEO and that I'm really focusedon myself and my own goals and like,
you know, the Olympic dream.So like it is, it has
been kind of nice to be likesingle because I don't have to worry about
(24:40):
anybody except for making myself better doingwhatever I want to do. I mean,
for all of my life, I'vejust like never had to worry about
what my boyfriend wants, what hewants to do or something, or you
know, try and dating and textingand everything like that. So I think
that's kind of also a little bitLeo of us of like we want to
just focus on ourselves, yeah,and making ourselves better. And it's easier,
(25:03):
you know, yeah, because youthink about like the benefits, the
pros and the cons of dating asan athlete, as a LEO. Cons
you know, you gotta think ofother people, not just yourself. You
gotta make time for other people,you gotta sacrifice. But the pros.
You know, on those lonely daysand you see all your friends on Instagram
(25:26):
with their boyfriends or girlfriends, andyou're like, man, could be nice?
Nice? Could be nice to havesomeone to spoon sometimes. Yeah,
and if you have, you've hadone boyfriend, you said, or no
boyfriend? No, no, noboyfriends. So do you think when that
(25:47):
time comes that you'd be public oryou'd be a little more private. What's
your thoughts on that. I thinkI'll start out pretty private, just because
I'll be like I don't want hemight not last like a bored pretty easily
with him. But I do thinkthat the person that I decide to make
my boyfriend is going to be avery spectacular person. Like I just feel
(26:07):
like I have very high expectations,which could be good, could be also
very bad, could just be aspenser the rest of my life. Also
something that keeps me up and Ibut I do think that the person that
I decide is good enough to bein a relationship with me is going to
be an amazing person who can takemy personality, who's funny, you can
take my humor. So I thinkthat's also kind of something that I get
(26:29):
really excited about, Like the prospectof that. I think. I think
I've been with dudes who could havedone been that for me, but just
you know, maybe geographically it wasn'tthe right time I was moving or something.
So another question I have with that, because this question, this idea
gets talked about a lot, iswhat does it mean if you are posting
(26:51):
your boyfriend but he's not posting you. Do you think that automatically means he's
cheating or he's not into you.Yeah, that's interesting because we read so
much into social media now, likeif somebody doesn't follow you, then they
hate your guts, you know,like these weird little nuances that we just
think so much about. I wonderwhat I would be, Like, it's
(27:12):
my if I was posting to myboyfriend but he wasn't posting me, I
think that would be discussion you'd needto have with your boyfriend. Like for
me, I'm very public on socialmedia, so I would probably post.
He might not, but then I'dbe like, well, you don't love
me that much, because yeah,so you're fake. So I can understand
the how tough that can be becausewe use social media for everything outdas,
(27:36):
what do you think? I got? Two things? So the first thing
is I remember this song by FrankOcean and it was like a little conversation
and the guy he had an accent, sounded very attractive. Oh, I
know we're talking about Yeah, Andhe was saying how his girlfriend was mad
(27:59):
at him for not posting her,and he's like, why do I need
to post you? Like I'm herewith you, I'm putting effort into you,
I'm loving on you on a dailybasis. Like we are secured,
we have a good relationship. Whatdoes me posting you? What more does
that mean? You know? Andthere is a side to it where I'm
like, we just wanna know thatyou want other people to know about us,
(28:22):
you know. And then maybe it'sa Leo mentality of we're so amazing,
why wouldn't you want to be likethis is my girl? You know,
this is the hot news you needto tell people? So interesting about
that. The guy who had thebad date with he showed me that song
that's so weird. He sent methat song, and his thoughts were to
that guy's perspective of like why doesshe worry I'm here? But to my
(28:45):
thoughts were to the girl's perspective,like they were in the song. They
were dating like three years or somethinglike that. Yeah, And like social
media is a massive part of ourlives, so I think I would be
a little annoyed if like heus usesto maybe post me after three years of
steady dating, because I know itdoesn't mean a lot. He's there,
(29:06):
he's present with me, but hiding. Yeah, it's just the way the
world works. Now. Yeah,you know, one of the things we
talked about in terms of dating wasdating apps, But we have other ways,
other areas, other dating pools thatwe're involved in. So one of
the ones I want to talk aboutis we're both training at the training center
(29:29):
full time. What has your experiencebeen with dating at the training center,
whether it's just talking or flirting.What is your ideas on that, because
I definitely have some stuff on thatone. Yeah, I wouldn't say I
have many experiences. It is interesting, Like I haven't had many experiences.
But one thing that is cool islike in our job and not just have
(29:52):
the training center, but like whenwe go to tournaments, like we are
around so many attractive people, somany fit, attractive people. Um at
the training center is so different.You're around Olympians. It's like hot damn.
But I haven't had many experiences.I mean, I'm not against it.
Sometimes we have a soccer team thereand I'm like hello, I'll hang
around some balls with you, slideinto the DMS. It works, right,
(30:17):
right, fine, right is rained? As they say, the dating
at the Training Center has been alearning experience for me because I'm like you,
like, very like, if Ilike you, I'm gonna come tell
you and we're gonna you know,you're gonna you're gonna like it because of
how confident I am about it.Um, So I've definitely had my dip
(30:41):
and dabble of dating at the trainingCenter. What I recommend it? No,
okay, why I think the TrainingCenter is too small. So once
you date one person, you basicallydated everybody's friend, you know, So
if you date another person like you'reyou're dating friend, yes, yeah,
yeah yeah, and especially as awoman like you're already that's already a thumbs
(31:07):
down for you. In our society. Male different story, they'll immediately label
you like a slut or whatever becauseyou did you've been on dates with two
different people. Yeah, it's likeno, just it's it's also your community
who you're around, so it kindof makes sense that you might date them.
Yeah. For me, it's alwayskind of funny where it's like,
don't I always want to be like, don't tell anyone because I'm trying to
(31:29):
get that guy, like, keepthis on the hush, my whole team,
But you don't tell your team.You're like, why are you talking?
That's supposed to be a girl.Think why does this guy? Yeah,
that we talk, My team canknow my My twenty girls on my
team can know not one of yourfriends. Better. No, you know,
(31:51):
it's like these things we tell them. Yeah, I think that has
That was definitely a struggle bus forme for a couple of years because,
as you said, we're there allthe time. We're surrounded by attractive,
successful athletes, you know, andthen you have to be like you can
only pick one. You better pickyou better make a good choice, or
it's done. You're over. It'syour choice for life at this point.
(32:15):
Yeah, for sure. Another thingis inner squad dating. Um are you
straight? Um? Yes, I'mstraight. I don't you know. I
love men. They annoy me,but I love same. So I mean
(32:35):
I want to know your perspective oninter squad dating because, um, I
want to make sure this don't comeoff wrong. But the gay community is
very prevalent in rugby, especially women'srugby. I think I was exposed to
the gay community for the first timein that extent through college rugby, and
then it kind of stayed the sameup until the professional level. So we
(32:59):
have girls on the team who likegirls and they date sometimes. What is
your thoughts on that. I mean, on every rugby team I've been on,
there's been relationships. I think forme, it's kind of like what
we said about the training center,like we're around these attractive people all day
long. Yeah. Like, soif you're you're gay, you're around attractive,
(33:20):
fit women all day long. Ithink it's kind of a thing that's
bound to happen. Yeah, it'syour They become your friends, they become
your shisters, they become on youknow, not just on rugby teams,
on all sorts of sports teams.It just becomes like Ashleon Harris and her
her wife on the sober team.You know. It's who you spend your
time with, It's who you connectwith on so many different levels. Yeah.
(33:42):
So, I mean it's hard forI feel like us to say a
lot because we were like, well, it's it's not an issue like on
our team, Yeah, but sayit was like a we it was a
co ed team over a problem.There might be some issues then, So
yeah, it's like hard to speakon just because I I like like the
(34:05):
men. Yeah, and I kindof I feel the same way that you
feel, like who are we tosay who you can choose to love,
who you choose to date, Likeyou're the one who's making that decision,
and you're open to the benefits,and you have to also be open to
the consequences. Yeah, you know, there's pros and cons to it.
I think it can probably suck dependingon how you guys broke up of having
(34:30):
to be around that person every dayafter that, Yeah, and have to
actually be cool because of how muchwe're around each other, you know.
So I don't know, And Ithink that's kind of classic, Like you
that, like if that's what youwant people to do, what they want
to be happy, Like you're like, it's your business. Do we already
happy? But again, like thatkey like you have to realize there could
(34:52):
be consequences. It could get bad. Um, it's it can be like
rough waters. But if we're alladults too, that's a key thing.
Yeah, we're all adults. Soyeah, yeah, so you said we
talked about how you know, inthat situation, who are we to say
we're not women dating women? Sowhat about would you ever be open to
(35:17):
dating men from the men's team,our men's team, I mean I would
be. I think it's like yousee them all day long. M I
never have M. I don't thinkI ever would. But if we want
to go to international tournaments. Yougave me a dude with an accent.
(35:38):
I'm out of there, you know, yeah, I am full speed ahead.
Um. Yeah, it just hasn'tever occurred to me. And that
was my next question was the internationaldating because we traveled so much and just
as much as we see each otherand the men's team, usually when we
(35:58):
travel we're seeing those same men andwomen's teams as well. So with international
dating, is that something you're openingopen to when you go to those tournaments?
Is it just oh, he wouldbe for fun to like go on
a day or hang out or goto a bar get drinks or would you
would you ever consider long term?I probably wouldn't consider long term, just
(36:21):
because it's like this person those halfwayacross the world, we're not gonna and
nothing's gonna happen. But you knowwhat, I do have a type.
As I said, you whisper anaccent in my ear. It's over.
But I think for me, likeback to the men's team. With the
men's team, I want to justbe good friends with them. I want
to be like a brother and sistersfor an organization organization with them. So
like for me, it's like man, but then I'm not trying to be
(36:45):
brother and sisters of those other teamsInternational team? Do you think has the
most attractive guys? I feel likewe always talk about this on our team,
like trying to figure out which teamas the most attractive men. I
think we've decided it might be Argentina. Did the girls decide that, Yeah,
(37:06):
it was it Argentina. Yeah,Argentina has some fire ones. I've
looked at some of the profiles andI'm like, well, their girlfriends are
all supermodels, so really I'll takemy leave on that. But I need
for a model, thank you.But it's kind of wild because again we're
in We're with these insanely attractive fitpeople. It's like a candy store.
(37:30):
It's like like Nia and I willjust be like check. I'm like,
yo, Na, you see thisguy, Like we're outlier pretty much objectifying.
Then like, shoot, do yousee him. But it's it is.
It is cool. And I'm somebodylike who just loves to meet people,
and I think it might come offas flirting. Honestly, I love
meeting anybody. I like talking toanyone. You could be the most attractive
(37:52):
person, you could be not thatattractive. I want to talk to you,
and so it's not that I'm interestedin you. I just want to
know your life story. I wantto know what's about I want to know
what rugby's like in this country.Shall and I will say, I think
that's very common with Leo's that wereso like conversational, so funny, so
nice and so open that that comesoff as oh, she's flirting with me,
(38:15):
and it's like, no, I'mjust being a nice person. Yeah,
no, I'm not gonna talk toyou anymore. You know what.
You don't get this, Yeah,it's and then they almost like think like,
yeah, she's just she's really intoeverybody. She's a as women get
um, we get named like ohshe's a hoo or something like no,
man, I literally want to talkto all these people. But because I'm
(38:36):
showing like an interest, which isjust being nice, they're like, she's
she kind of you know, getsinto everybody. I'm not just a friendly
person. Yeah, that's pretty annoying. But hey, um let's get in
some cup questions, shall we.We shall tell me Nia, what would
be your favorite part of dating you? That's talking vod Yeah, my image
(39:02):
as a whole and being able tobe locked arms with me walking down the
street and getting all those amazing stairsof how are you with this? Beautiful?
That is exactly yeah, I believethat exact same thing. I'm like,
any man would be lucky if Iwas locking the stairs I get when
(39:24):
I'm just on my own. Thinkabout it, sir, you'll be famous
too much? Leo, there justtoo much? Hello? What would you
say? It's like? Dating you? Um involve a lot of food,
(39:45):
a lot of food. I thinkI'm a person who might so my love
language is words of affirmation and touch, So I will constantly be touching you.
I just need to hug, Ineed to just hold a bicep or
something I don't know, but andthen words of affirmation. I love to
like. I think a lot oftimes men don't get a lot of compliments
(40:07):
because they're just described to be likethey don't need it. So I love
to compliment them, and I'll belike, wow, you look great,
or like give them something because Iwant that back, so I try to
give it to them. I usedto I'm big on that too, And
I used to date a guy andhe was so handsome and I would always
tell him that, and then eventuallyhe was like, is that all you
(40:28):
think of me? I'm like,just take the compliment. No, But
it's I see your face every dayand it's gorgeous and I just want to
tell you. No, it's likeyou want to let them know like I've
done to, like, wow,your body is really nice to them that
just so that they feel good aboutthemselves because I wanted to. They better
be saying that to me, though, Yeah, give and take here.
(40:50):
I'm like, babe, what doyou like about me? He's like,
you asked me this yesterday? Butdo you like like me or like you?
Just so? How do you knowover text if someone likes you or
they're just being friendly? I thinkit will all come down to actions,
(41:10):
yeah, like engagement. Yeah,like if they are like, let's get
this on the role, let's goon a date. You know, I
want to see you. I wantto hang out with you. I think
that is a sign. If theydon't ever express wanting to be around you
in person, they're probably just leadingyou on. Yeah, I'll be keeping
(41:32):
you on a string until somebody elsefalls off and they're like, Okay,
I guess I can hang out withher. I guess on board or it's
like yeah, so engagement. Justlike how they respond to things. I
think you can read a lot justby you ask them a question. It's
a very short, maybe cliff response. It's like okay, maybe not into
it. So like what I'll do. I like to DM, Like sometimes
(41:54):
DM people first off. I DMa lot of people just would be fun
and nice about it. But theguys I'm into. If I DM them
and you like check the response fromthem, they're like okay, yeah,
and he like kind of responded maybenot um, And then you you you
start that first conversation. Then sometimesI'll wait if he starts the next conversation
another day. What would be atypical first response for you when you're reaching
(42:19):
out to God? When I reachout, I have been very successful in
the past. I don't call myselfa queen of the dams um I think
it will be for me. I'llcomment on something like it was a one
time a soccer player. I waslike, where do you guys play your
games? You know, I'm notgonna go watch this man's games, but
(42:39):
but it was a good question tolike lead into something more because then you
can read from it. Um,maybe you can DM I'm a post or
be like yo, I saw youdoing this the other day, like and
so for me, I'm a veryfriendly person, and you'll usually can tell
if it's going to be something alonglike a different line. So I think
(43:02):
it's all the way you were there. Like just maybe even give a reaction
to an Instagram story or something likethat is key. Have you ever just
went up to a guy and gavehim your number? I actually have.
One time I saw this guy likelooking at me a coffee shop and I
was like, well, I'm here. So I went up to it and
I was like, hello, sir, are you waiting for someone? He
(43:25):
was like, I'm waiting for agirlfriend, and I was like sweet bye.
But then I've given my numbers tosome other guys and like at bars,
I'll be the one to first makea move. I one time did
that. I was with my mom, and I think we can't remember I
think we were in the Dominican Republicon vacation and I've seen a guy that
I thought was attractive and I wentand gave him my number. At my
(43:51):
mom was hissed. Really why,She's like, you seem to like needy,
like like like desperate exacly saying she'slike, if a guy wants to
talk to you, like let themcome ask for your number. And I
was like, Mom, we don'tdo that anymore. Yeah, Like if
(44:12):
I want to talk to a guy, why am I way some time sitting
there hoping that he would come overWhen I can just walk over and say,
hey, here's my number. Ifyour single, hit me up,
if you're interested to hit me up, if not, throw it away.
That's so key, and I thinkthat's like a key for some of our
listeners too, Like people, wehave this idea that the men have to
come up to you first, orthey have to make the first move.
I'll tell you what, men findit attractive and hot when you make the
(44:37):
first move. They're like, waita second, that's not leonergy, Like,
wait a second, she's going toget what she wants. Okay,
I did it. So it's scarybecause we're not taught to accept rejection.
We're like, don't get rejected.You don't want to try to get rejected.
Men, you can get rejected allthe time, but women are like,
don't get rejected. Yeah, butwhat's gonna happen if you say a
guy's attractive? Rash first number?If I was him, and be like,
(44:59):
look at person who's interested in me. I'm not undertowing that, but
it makes you feel good. There'snothing bad they could come of it.
He could be a psychopath, that'sprobably one percent chance, but nothing back
can come up just telling someone youthink they're attractive. Yeah, And I
think one of the things I alwaysam telling some of my friends is like,
the worst thing they can tell youis no. You've heard no before,
Like you'll be okay, Like it'sgonna build a stronger view because sitting
(45:22):
around waiting for people, you're gonnabe single the rest of your life.
One thing I think, if doyou ever use the pearl rugby player as
like a little a card to slidethat in? I do all the time.
Oh my gosh, I'm like,hey, I'm alone, I'm a
pro ruggy player, So what doyou want to talk? I don't really
bring it up until they're like,what do you do for a living?
(45:43):
Or most of the time they mayalready noticed I do something, so they're
like, oh, what sport doyou play? And I'm like reg b
and I don't know. I don'tget much, you know, like reaction
from it in the beginning, butonce they see like the lifestyle, they're
like, you're famous, and I'mlike, I'm not, but thank you.
I hope one day I am.Yeah, yeah, all right,
(46:04):
Well, thank y'all so much forlistening. Our challenge for you this week
is to make the first move,whether it be a DM, whether it
be a go talk to someone onthe street. If you do that,
DM, me let me know becausethat'll be so awesome. But remember,
they're not gonna be against it's notgonna like why would they be mad.
They're not being mad about it.They're gonna be excited and like, wow,
(46:25):
someone's interested in them. Like youhold the power in that. Right
now, we've told men to holdthe power to decide who they can talk
to. No, you decide whoyou can go talk to. And that's
for men, our male cubs andour female cubs. Because I know some
men who are you scared to makethe first move as well. So anybody
out there make that first move,whether that's in a relationship, whether that's
(46:47):
in your work life, whether that'sin your personal life. Do something that
can lead to rejection, do somethingthat can make you scared, because those
are the things that lead to biggerand better levels in your life. Yeah.
Yeah, Thanks everybody for tuning in. Make sure to check us out
on all platforms at leos Den Underscorewith Sports to stay updated. Visit with
(47:08):
sports dot com for the episode shownotes, and follow with Sports for more
conversation from the world of women's sports. Follow me Ni Tapper at Night Tapper
and also at my brand page UnderscoreNi on Fia Underscore and follow me at
Elona mar Whether you came for therugby and stage for the Shanigans, we
hope you join us next time theleos Den. Bye, peace out.
Here we go, hay Cubs,and welcome to the Leo's. Then.
My name's Naia and I'm one ofyour co hosts. And a fun fact
about me, I am in arelationship, Hay Cubs, I'm Elna.
My Teerios called me love I factabout me. I've been single for about
almost twenty five years now, sothat's my whole life. And we are
(00:34):
two Leo's to hear ourselves talk,all right, So we always start out
with a horoscope. So this horoscopetoday is a friend could be having financial
troubles and ask you for a loan. Leo. You like this person and
understand what he or she is goingthrough, so you want to help,
But it could be a while beforeyour friend is solvent again if you make
(00:56):
the loan. Remember the adage aboutnever lending anything to friend that you aren't
willing to consider a gift. Don'tdepend on immediate repayment thoughts nyah Um.
First of all, it made methink about I was put doing a joke
on my boyfriend. I'm like,I'm gonna ask him for some money,
tell him I need some money.To see what he was saying, Yeah,
I say When I first asked him. He was like, uh no,
(01:26):
he said, I was just kidding. You know, if you really
needed it, I would give itto you. But I know you're lying
right now. So yeah, yeah, I would definitely give them money.
Um, but I would also belike one of those who be like,
hey, remember that alone I gaveyou check your friend, I need it.
(01:47):
Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't wantto give it to them, I
think. I mean, I'm oneof those friends where like, you gotta
do it for me first, soI know, like you're honest, I
need that trust built there in orderto give you some money because you know
how important money is to me.Oh no, it's number one on NI
(02:07):
is less money then her boyfriend.Okay, guys, so the topic for
today is the dating life of afemale rugby player. Yes, exciting times.
So first thing, we want totalk about our current dating situations.
We kind of give you a littleintake into that just from our fun facts.
(02:30):
But as I was saying, I'min a relationship, it kind of
blossomed during the quarantine, So shoutout to that time because most people were
lonely and I was, you know, I'll cut it up and happy.
What about you? Low? Yeah, COVID has not been as nice to
me as it has been to youin that sense. I like to think
(02:53):
I'm really discovering myself again, youknow. Is it my choice? Not
really no, But you know,I haven't really met anyone. I like.
Sometimes we'll get on dating apps andthen be like, Okay, it's
that for me, and then I'lltry other things. But it's it's I'm
pretty single and thriving right now,I guess. And so you said in
(03:13):
your fun Fact that you've been singlefor about twenty five years. How old
are you? I'm twenty four,so it'll be twenty five in August.
I've literally I've never had a boyfriendbefore. I did not know that about
you. Yeah, I've had howdo we say, very good buddies,
But I've never had somebody who I'vecalled like that's my boyfriend, I'm their
(03:35):
girlfriend. Um. I don't knowwhy that is. Could be could be
my fault, I could be annoying, could be their fault. I get
bored very easily. I didn't reallystart, I guess dating until like senior
year of college. Though I neverhad a boyfriend in wow, I know,
never in high school, about incollege, like I was, as
we talked about in the Body Confidenceepisode, I did not consider myself a
(03:58):
hot commodity. Everybody wanted my sisterand no, who's really after me.
So it's been a tough go andI want to say, cubs correct me
if I'm wrong. Maybe it's aLeo thing because I've only had like this
would be the third boyfriend and mylife, and like one of them lasted
maybe a couple of months. Matterof fact, fourth boyfriend I lied.
(04:20):
See I'm forgetting people. Anyways.One of the things that I want to
talk about is what our craziest orfunniest dates are that we have been on.
Now, I personally thank you God, have never had a crazy or
weird or strange dating situation. Butmy lovely Leo lo he so love Would
(04:46):
you like to go a little moreinto that. Well, I've been so
excited for this, almost naia becauselike I was, like, yo,
nah, I got this. Ihaven't experienced on a date. I didn't
tell her. I just kept tellingme about this experience we're gonna have,
like, Yo, got something I'mgonna share for you. So I just
had a terrible date ones and itwas a guy who likes. So do
you ever like respond to guys whoDM you depends on what they look like.
(05:11):
Okay, yeah, so I'll gocheck his profile. I check his
profile. I was like, okay, he's pretty cute. Yeah, I'll
message him back. And so wewere messaging back and forth and like he
we had really good banterer together,like he was funny. I was like,
okay, I kind of like he'sfunny, he's keeping up with me.
And so he asked me on aday and so he and I was
like, yeah, okay, Iwant to date with you. And so
he comes and picks me up.That's my first mistake. All right,
(05:32):
first mistake there. You need todrive yourself wherever you go, so you
have the out. I have nowlearned this. I also hate driving,
so that's fun me too, weretwin. I just would rather not.
And he was gonna be hes likea really nice car, so he's gonna
pick me up. So I waslike it was like an Audie something.
(05:54):
Okay, Um, so he picksme up. But then immediately you don't
immediately when you're with somebody and youjust really okay, the vibes are not
on here, Like immediately I don'teven think you said a word. And
I got in the car and Iwas like, this isn't it. The
vibes are off. So we startheading to like the restaurant, and I
just remember him like it wasn't theperson that I was messaging with on DMS,
(06:17):
Like he wasn't funny. He wasalmost trying to be like cool and
like just laid back. I waslike, no, where's the funny guy
who was making good jokes to me? Like why why hasn't he come to
the front. I can understand.Maybe I'm like intimidating real life. I
came out when my heels in mydress. So we go to a restaurant
and well, he first he recommendedthis place to be over dam and I
(06:39):
was like, yeah, that looksgood, but I think you need restavations.
He's like, oh no, youdon't. You're good. So we
go to the restaurant. He likeplops me out on the curb to go
and get a table at the restaurant. So I'm stopping around in my heels
and I'm like, hey, doyou have a table for two? And
they're like no, it's a freakingSaturday night. We don't have over two.
So I try that place and thenI go try some other places and
(07:00):
he's parking the car. I'm onmy own, so I'm walking around on
my heels, and so we meetback up and I was like, well,
there's no places, so we justhad We're gonna go back into downtown
and find a place there. Here'sthe kicker. As I'm waiting for him
to get the car, I'm lookingfire, this old man in this white
Jaguar pulls up and he asked formy number. I wanted to get in
the car with this old man beforeI got with the other dude, But
(07:26):
did you give him a number?I was about to. I was like,
I asked him them who. Iwas like, do you want to
be my sugar daddy? Because wecould have something going on? So he
was like I was like. Theold man was like wait, yeah,
sure, So he gets out hisphone. He's like trying to get my
number, but the car start honkingat him to keep moving, and so
I didn't get given my numbers.So that right there is my one of
(07:47):
my biggest regrets in life, notpossibly getting a sugar daddy in the white
Jaguar. So then I end uphaving just get into the car with the
dude with my with the date thatI was on, and so we just
find a restaurant who was like barelyanybody at it. And so at the
beginning of the night, he wasalready kind of late picking me up because
he was watching a basketball game.And you know me, I don't I
(08:09):
don't mess with lateness. I wantyou to be on time, especially if
you're gonna come get me for adate. I'm a leo, you gotta
be on time. Yeah. Sohe's late, and so at the table
already vibes are off. I'm justnot feeling it. He's like, can
I watch the basketball game? Atthe table, starts watching the basketball game
on his phone. I was like, yeah, sure, I was at
(08:31):
this point would rather have sat insilence and stared at a wall than had
to keep talking to him. Sohe pulls out his phone and just starts
watching the Lakers played. Honestly,I said, I didn't even look at
my phone. I just sat thereand was like looking around. I was
like, this is it. Thisis all I want. I don't even
food was terrible, It just wasn'tgood. The talk wasn't really great.
So at the end I offered topay. I was like, no,
(08:54):
I'll play half, and he waslike no, no, no, what
go ahead. No. I wasjust like, no, you get it
off to pay up. But sohe paid for whom on. So then
the problem he drove me that wasmy problem. And so he's like,
so, do you want to cometo my place and watch a show?
And I was like I should havejust said no, there I didn't.
So he went day Is place andhe's like, do you want to watch
(09:16):
a movie? I was like,no, it's fine this show. Let's
find a good forty minute a halfan hour show. So he watched this
show and I'm just like, youknow when they just want to get closer
to you, and I was justedging away from him on the couch as
far as possible. I was like, I'm gonna sit over here. So
I have to go bathroom at hisplace. The toilet was so disgusting,
(09:37):
Naia, We've talked about this.We talked like, you know, sitting
versus squatting over the toilet. Icouldn't even sit on the toilet Nia.
I was out there like trying tohold my squatting over it, not wanting
to touch everything. It was sogross, so like I couldn't do it,
and I was I couldn't even washmy hand. I washed my hands,
I couldn't touch anything. God sentyou every opportunity to do the right
(10:05):
thing, and every time you chosethat, God, God don't send me.
God send me that man in theJaguars. I should blame the guy,
are you at this point? Honestly, I blame myself. I think
about it and I cringe. Sothe toilet's disgusting it. I'm just thinking,
like, if this man's is bringinga woman home, you couldn't have
(10:26):
just brought a little one two inthe toilet, just wiped it down a
little bit. So I go backout, the shell finishes, and then
he immediately wants to make on.I'm like, get the heck away from
me, sir. I was like, I need to go. I need
to go. So we got inhis car and so I one who likes
to be just pretty honest, andI was like, so, how do
you think that went? He waslike, yeah, I think pretty good,
(10:48):
Like vibes are on it, andI was like, I'm gonna be
honest, it wasn't it for me. I don't think I want to continue
this, but thank you, andso I thought we kind of left it
there because I didn't want to ghosthim rather than at that. And then
guess who slid into my DMS likea week ago, and it was like
hey, sliding back in and Iwas like, hey, not opening that
(11:11):
request, slide right back out.It was just so bad. I still
just like cringe and I just needto I think now, honestly, COVID
has helped me to be like,you're better than that if you don't want
like something to get out of there. Yeah, he was a nice kid,
but I was like, once justfrom the first second, it wasn't
for me. I want to knowwhat he looked like? Can you describe
(11:33):
him for us and the listeners?He was a tall black man, very
attractive, worked in the navy.But I mean, yeah, it's really
cute, you know, in hislittle navy uniform, had a great car.
It just wasn't for me. Vibefor off. He was very attractive,
but everything else just didn't work out. It's so weird that I asked
(11:58):
you. I wanted to ask you, like what he looked like because I
remember you telling me about a tallblack guy that you we're talking to or
something, and he was really funand stuff. Because a guy reached out
to me and my DMS and heI think I remember showing me a picture
of him. It looked like thatguy and he's like, oh, I'm
doing like social media for this companyand I would love to like meet up
(12:20):
and help you. And I'm like, don't do it, like you look
familiar. So now, like Idon't know if I should ever m like
go for somebody who DMS me,but I don't mind it. Like dming
and all sorts of things are likethe ways that we're meeting people now,
Like I I've DM people and I'vegotten some great responses and it just worked
(12:43):
out great for me. But I'mgonna be more a little bit more selective
with like who I pick. Yeah, Like do you have a before you've
met Wesley, did you have atype? Niam? I love the funny
guys and likes to have a goodtime like anybody similar to me. Yeah,
(13:05):
but also allows me to be atleast halfway in control, you know,
not intimidated by independence, but alsolike can tell me all right now,
yeah, let me pay for thebill, and you're like okay for
(13:28):
me, I always say I don'thave a type because you know me,
I'm pretty baried. I'm like,if you're attractive, befo we're working,
I'm like, oh, I'll gofor it. Yeah. But for people
who say that like such a specifictype, like I need to have dark
and hands and I need this,I'm like, well, what if my
soulmate is a blonde haired, blueeyed Scandinavian man. Yeah, and I'm
(13:48):
like, only tall, dark andhandsome for me. You're just you know,
shutting out big part of population.So I don't have a type,
but there is has been some consistencieswith who I've um been into. Yeah,
but I'm a free spirit, Iguess. I feel like like when
you're younger, older people are like, it's about the personality, and you're
(14:11):
like blah blah blah, and Iwant to But when you get older,
you're like, well, ship,it is about the personality actually, like
it's really important. And that's wherethat part comes in, where you're saying,
like a physical type that doesn't reallymatter at the end of the day,
because it's about how you vibe withpeople, and yeah, that is
attraction in its own. Did youever use dating apps before? Like Wiseley
(14:37):
Um Like, when I first movedout to California, I was fresh out
of college, so I'm like,where a minute, ready to get it?
So I did use like tender andbumble, but I never had the
patience for it. Um yeah,I couldn't last on it for max two
(15:01):
days, same and I'm like,nah, I'm good. I tried it
twice since I had moved out here. I've been living out here for five
years, and after two days eachtime, I was just like, I
don't this is not for me.Yeah. Yeah, I will consistently just
like download it, not finding anything, delete it. And then three months
later I'm like, well, letme try that again, So I'll download
(15:24):
it again, not buying anything,and just like it's this repetitive cycle.
I've never I don't think I've everbeen on date with somebody from those apps.
Yeah, point where I just sawa TikTok where it was like set
your preferences to a higher age range, So I got my preferences up to
like twenty years older than me.I'm pulling out the big guns at this
point. All right, I'm solutelybut I've always been like I don't have
(15:45):
a type, but I have usuallybeen into guys who are older than me.
I think that could be back tolike our energy, maybe our leo
energy, just like wanting someone who'smature or Yeah, as women were usually
mature faster than men, so that'swhat we want out of man a man.
Yeah, but it's a tough marketout there, and like on the
West Coast, like most of thoseguys on those dating apps are in the
(16:08):
military, and me personally, Ican't do it. Yeah, I don't
know what it is. I don'tknow. I can't interesting because that was
one of my cub questions that somebodysent into me, was like, why
don't women want to date military men? And I don't really know what they're
even The reason is, I thinkthere are a lot of women who feel
that way. I've been on dateswith military dudes. I don't think I'm
(16:30):
opposed to it, but I don'tI don't really. As we said,
we both don't really have type,but it's like maybe something that we kind
of automatically just geared towards. Ithink it's not necessarily their personality or physical
traits, but their lifestyle. LikeI've come from the military life where you're
moving around a lot. The guysnot barely ever there I'm not I don't
(16:52):
want to deal with that, LikeI don't I want as much attention as
I can get and you can't giveme that from bag that. So yeah,
rather keep that, stay away fromthat. But I have some military
guys because out here you can yewhere. Yeah. So I don't know.
So we're classical Leos, like we'restrong minded, powerful woman you know,
(17:14):
we're looking for a man that canhandle that. Like how have you found
ben like that? And like whatwhat are your requirements or like what do
men do for you that shows youthat they can take you and they're what
you're looking for. I think forme it's been like the balance of letting
(17:36):
me control at times because that islike in me and being okay with that
and that not making you feel likelesser of a man. And then it's
also you being able to take controlwhen I'm sometimes doing too much. And
just like effort is super super importantfor me, where if you can get
the same effort that I'm giving,we're gonna work out. And I think
(17:57):
Leo's I've been and like super attractedto Leo's because Leo men because they have
the same mentality, like the successmentality, the independence mentality, the effort
mentality. That's all been there forme. So that's probably why I'm with
(18:18):
a Leo right now. Yeah.Yeah, I think for me it's that
I have a very strong personality,so it's going to take a certain person
who will maybe find an attractive becausewe're not for everybody. Yeah, no
one is for everybody. So Ithink for me, it's like when I
find somebody who is like, reallylikes my personality. Even again, it
(18:38):
doesn't sometimes matter exactly what he lookslike, but I'm like, wait a
second, he's vibing with my loudass. Yeah all right, so maybe
I'll get him a chance. Imean it's tough, and like I think
that's again, like what we'll talkabout with confidence is like learning to accept
that that's who you are, that'syour personality, so that that person you're
going to be with has to acceptthat as well. I don't. I
(19:00):
think one thing for me is like, and you probably do the same thing,
is not changing who you are whenyou're with that person, Yeah,
which I just would hate the thoughtof because I see some girls who like,
when they're with their boyfriends, you'relike, is not my friend?
Who is this person? Yeah,and it's scary, Like have you ever
found yourself doing that with dude,like wanting to change or if you are
(19:22):
attracted if somebody wanted to change andkind of like fit their mold of a
perfect girl. Yeah, I thinkevery girl does that a little bit with
people that they're in relationships with orlooking to get the interest of, just
because you want to feel wanted andyou want to do what you think they
would like, do what you thinkthey would be attracted to you for,
(19:45):
or make you like an outlier inreference to all the other girls in the
world because and you know you're competingin a sense. So it's like,
how do I make myself stand out? Well, let me be the perfect
of what he thinks a woman shouldbe like. And eventually it's like that's
too hard. I don't have timefor that, and yeah, is it
(20:06):
even working? So at this pointlong term, you can't do that forever,
you know. So it's like it'sin my best interest to show you
him who I am from the start, because if you can accept that,
then you're for me, and ifyou can't, then you're not oh deep
not deep boom So how do youjuggle your dating life with your professional life,
(20:27):
Because we're trying. We usually travela lot, we train a lot,
We're tired constantly from training so hard, we get bruises, we're aggressive,
Like, how do you juggle that? It has taken a while.
You know, some years I wasfavoring my love life over my professional life.
(20:47):
Some years I was favoring my professionallife over my love life. And
I think it all comes down topriorities, and for me, my priority
was rugby. I wanted to goto the Olympics. I wanted to be
this amazing rugby player. But Ialso want to have somebody who I can
hang out with and enjoy their presencewhen I'm not playing rugby, when I'm
(21:10):
not at work, you want likea disconnect from your job, and having
somebody who you care about to bethat disconnect is very nice. It's very
relaxing to the mind, and itkeeps you sane from work because work can
be stressful sometimes and sometimes you needsomebody to be there to vent and be
that shorter you need. So Ithink it's all about scheduling, organization,
(21:33):
and planning ahead. For me,like I know what days are best for
us to hang out best on bothof our schedules. I know, on
this day maybe we should do somethingchill because we both had training versus on
this day we were all so let'sgo to a bar or something like that.
I think it's all about knowledge ofwho you're dating and knowledge of yourself
(21:56):
and what you need on certain days, because some days after training, I
want to be by myself and somedays I want to hang out with the
person i'm dating or a person i'mtalking too. So I think with the
priorities, it all depends on howit's going to make you feel you are
most important. Yes, So rememberingthat I think will help with the juggling
(22:22):
aspect. And do you kind oflike when you are gone for like two
weeks, you know, I thinkhe likes it more than I mean.
I think it's good to Like everybodysays like, you want to be able
to miss somebody every now and thenso that when you come back together it's
all butterflies again. But I thinkfor me that's kind of something that's made
(22:45):
up. For me, it's alwaysbutterflies. And I probably miss him after
you know, a day and hejust left and I'm like, oh,
come back and they're like, relax, I'll see you in two days.
I don't know, but awesome.Yeah. You're pretty private though about your
(23:10):
your dating, like you don't poston social media really yeah, And I
think that's changed over time too.Where the last two guys I dated,
they were very private about their datinglife. So not that I was like,
oh, I'm gonna do what theyasked or what they tell me to
do, but they gave me adifferent perspective on the importance of privacy in
(23:34):
your love life, especially with socialmedia. Like when you expose people to
certain aspects of your life, theyfeel like they have the right to have
an opinion about it and to speakon it, and that can lead to
some negativity, not only for yourselfbut in your relationship. I think people
(23:56):
always want to be in your businessand for good reasons. So I think
that's where I was able to say, Okay, I hear where you're coming
from. I'd be down to dothat, And so far it's been amazing
for me and something that I'll definitelycontinue doing until you know, big things
happen. Then it's like, hey, you see my ring and a new
(24:19):
woman and broll, like, whois that who is this man dating?
Yeah, well I was thinking,like, so i think I'm just a
classic LEO and that I'm really focusedon myself and my own goals and like,
you know, the Olympic dream.So like it is, it has
been kind of nice to be likesingle because I don't have to worry about
(24:40):
anybody except for making myself better doingwhatever I want to do. I mean,
for all of my life, I'vejust like never had to worry about
what my boyfriend wants, what hewants to do or something, or you
know, try and dating and textingand everything like that. So I think
that's kind of also a little bitLeo of us of like we want to
just focus on ourselves, yeah,and making ourselves better. And it's easier,
(25:03):
you know, yeah, because youthink about like the benefits, the
pros and the cons of dating asan athlete, as a LEO. Cons
you know, you gotta think ofother people, not just yourself. You
gotta make time for other people,you gotta sacrifice. But the pros.
You know, on those lonely daysand you see all your friends on Instagram
(25:26):
with their boyfriends or girlfriends, andyou're like, man, could be nice?
Nice? Could be nice to havesomeone to spoon sometimes. Yeah,
and if you have, you've hadone boyfriend, you said, or no
boyfriend? No, no, noboyfriends. So do you think when that
(25:47):
time comes that you'd be public oryou'd be a little more private. What's
your thoughts on that. I thinkI'll start out pretty private, just because
I'll be like I don't want hemight not last like a bored pretty easily
with him. But I do thinkthat the person that I decide to make
my boyfriend is going to be avery spectacular person. Like I just feel
(26:07):
like I have very high expectations,which could be good, could be also
very bad, could just be aspenser the rest of my life. Also
something that keeps me up and Ibut I do think that the person that
I decide is good enough to bein a relationship with me is going to
be an amazing person who can takemy personality, who's funny, you can
take my humor. So I thinkthat's also kind of something that I get
(26:29):
really excited about, Like the prospectof that. I think. I think
I've been with dudes who could havedone been that for me, but just
you know, maybe geographically it wasn'tthe right time I was moving or something.
So another question I have with that, because this question, this idea
gets talked about a lot, iswhat does it mean if you are posting
(26:51):
your boyfriend but he's not posting you. Do you think that automatically means he's
cheating or he's not into you.Yeah, that's interesting because we read so
much into social media now, likeif somebody doesn't follow you, then they
hate your guts, you know,like these weird little nuances that we just
think so much about. I wonderwhat I would be, Like, it's
(27:12):
my if I was posting to myboyfriend but he wasn't posting me, I
think that would be discussion you'd needto have with your boyfriend. Like for
me, I'm very public on socialmedia, so I would probably post.
He might not, but then I'dbe like, well, you don't love
me that much, because yeah,so you're fake. So I can understand
the how tough that can be becausewe use social media for everything outdas,
(27:36):
what do you think? I got? Two things? So the first thing
is I remember this song by FrankOcean and it was like a little conversation
and the guy he had an accent, sounded very attractive. Oh, I
know we're talking about Yeah, Andhe was saying how his girlfriend was mad
(27:59):
at him for not posting her,and he's like, why do I need
to post you? Like I'm herewith you, I'm putting effort into you,
I'm loving on you on a dailybasis. Like we are secured,
we have a good relationship. Whatdoes me posting you? What more does
that mean? You know? Andthere is a side to it where I'm
like, we just wanna know thatyou want other people to know about us,
(28:22):
you know. And then maybe it'sa Leo mentality of we're so amazing,
why wouldn't you want to be likethis is my girl? You know,
this is the hot news you needto tell people? So interesting about
that. The guy who had thebad date with he showed me that song
that's so weird. He sent methat song, and his thoughts were to
that guy's perspective of like why doesshe worry I'm here? But to my
(28:45):
thoughts were to the girl's perspective,like they were in the song. They
were dating like three years or somethinglike that. Yeah, And like social
media is a massive part of ourlives, so I think I would be
a little annoyed if like heus usesto maybe post me after three years of
steady dating, because I know itdoesn't mean a lot. He's there,
(29:06):
he's present with me, but hiding. Yeah, it's just the way the
world works. Now. Yeah,you know, one of the things we
talked about in terms of dating wasdating apps, But we have other ways,
other areas, other dating pools thatwe're involved in. So one of
the ones I want to talk aboutis we're both training at the training center
(29:29):
full time. What has your experiencebeen with dating at the training center,
whether it's just talking or flirting.What is your ideas on that, because
I definitely have some stuff on thatone. Yeah, I wouldn't say I
have many experiences. It is interesting, Like I haven't had many experiences.
But one thing that is cool islike in our job and not just have
(29:52):
the training center, but like whenwe go to tournaments, like we are
around so many attractive people, somany fit, attractive people. Um at
the training center is so different.You're around Olympians. It's like hot damn.
But I haven't had many experiences.I mean, I'm not against it.
Sometimes we have a soccer team thereand I'm like hello, I'll hang
around some balls with you, slideinto the DMS. It works, right,
(30:17):
right, fine, right is rained? As they say, the dating
at the Training Center has been alearning experience for me because I'm like you,
like, very like, if Ilike you, I'm gonna come tell
you and we're gonna you know,you're gonna you're gonna like it because of
how confident I am about it.Um, So I've definitely had my dip
(30:41):
and dabble of dating at the trainingCenter. What I recommend it? No,
okay, why I think the TrainingCenter is too small. So once
you date one person, you basicallydated everybody's friend, you know, So
if you date another person like you'reyou're dating friend, yes, yeah,
yeah yeah, and especially as awoman like you're already that's already a thumbs
(31:07):
down for you. In our society. Male different story, they'll immediately label
you like a slut or whatever becauseyou did you've been on dates with two
different people. Yeah, it's likeno, just it's it's also your community
who you're around, so it kindof makes sense that you might date them.
Yeah. For me, it's alwayskind of funny where it's like,
don't I always want to be like, don't tell anyone because I'm trying to
(31:29):
get that guy, like, keepthis on the hush, my whole team,
But you don't tell your team.You're like, why are you talking?
That's supposed to be a girl.Think why does this guy? Yeah,
that we talk, My team canknow my My twenty girls on my
team can know not one of yourfriends. Better. No, you know,
(31:51):
it's like these things we tell them. Yeah, I think that has
That was definitely a struggle bus forme for a couple of years because,
as you said, we're there allthe time. We're surrounded by attractive,
successful athletes, you know, andthen you have to be like you can
only pick one. You better pickyou better make a good choice, or
it's done. You're over. It'syour choice for life at this point.
(32:15):
Yeah, for sure. Another thingis inner squad dating. Um are you
straight? Um? Yes, I'mstraight. I don't you know. I
love men. They annoy me,but I love same. So I mean
(32:35):
I want to know your perspective oninter squad dating because, um, I
want to make sure this don't comeoff wrong. But the gay community is
very prevalent in rugby, especially women'srugby. I think I was exposed to
the gay community for the first timein that extent through college rugby, and
then it kind of stayed the sameup until the professional level. So we
(32:59):
have girls on the team who likegirls and they date sometimes. What is
your thoughts on that. I mean, on every rugby team I've been on,
there's been relationships. I think forme, it's kind of like what
we said about the training center,like we're around these attractive people all day
long. Yeah. Like, soif you're you're gay, you're around attractive,
(33:20):
fit women all day long. Ithink it's kind of a thing that's
bound to happen. Yeah, it'syour They become your friends, they become
your shisters, they become on youknow, not just on rugby teams,
on all sorts of sports teams.It just becomes like Ashleon Harris and her
her wife on the sober team.You know. It's who you spend your
time with, It's who you connectwith on so many different levels. Yeah.
(33:42):
So, I mean it's hard forI feel like us to say a
lot because we were like, well, it's it's not an issue like on
our team, Yeah, but sayit was like a we it was a
co ed team over a problem.There might be some issues then, So
yeah, it's like hard to speakon just because I I like like the
(34:05):
men. Yeah, and I kindof I feel the same way that you
feel, like who are we tosay who you can choose to love,
who you choose to date, Likeyou're the one who's making that decision,
and you're open to the benefits,and you have to also be open to
the consequences. Yeah, you know, there's pros and cons to it.
I think it can probably suck dependingon how you guys broke up of having
(34:30):
to be around that person every dayafter that, Yeah, and have to
actually be cool because of how muchwe're around each other, you know.
So I don't know, And Ithink that's kind of classic, Like you
that, like if that's what youwant people to do, what they want
to be happy, Like you're like, it's your business. Do we already
happy? But again, like thatkey like you have to realize there could
(34:52):
be consequences. It could get bad. Um, it's it can be like
rough waters. But if we're alladults too, that's a key thing.
Yeah, we're all adults. Soyeah, yeah, so you said we
talked about how you know, inthat situation, who are we to say
we're not women dating women? Sowhat about would you ever be open to
(35:17):
dating men from the men's team,our men's team, I mean I would
be. I think it's like yousee them all day long. M I
never have M. I don't thinkI ever would. But if we want
to go to international tournaments. Yougave me a dude with an accent.
(35:38):
I'm out of there, you know, yeah, I am full speed ahead.
Um. Yeah, it just hasn'tever occurred to me. And that
was my next question was the internationaldating because we traveled so much and just
as much as we see each otherand the men's team, usually when we
(35:58):
travel we're seeing those same men andwomen's teams as well. So with international
dating, is that something you're openingopen to when you go to those tournaments?
Is it just oh, he wouldbe for fun to like go on
a day or hang out or goto a bar get drinks or would you
would you ever consider long term?I probably wouldn't consider long term, just
(36:21):
because it's like this person those halfwayacross the world, we're not gonna and
nothing's gonna happen. But you knowwhat, I do have a type.
As I said, you whisper anaccent in my ear. It's over.
But I think for me, likeback to the men's team. With the
men's team, I want to justbe good friends with them. I want
to be like a brother and sistersfor an organization organization with them. So
like for me, it's like man, but then I'm not trying to be
(36:45):
brother and sisters of those other teamsInternational team? Do you think has the
most attractive guys? I feel likewe always talk about this on our team,
like trying to figure out which teamas the most attractive men. I
think we've decided it might be Argentina. Did the girls decide that, Yeah,
(37:06):
it was it Argentina. Yeah,Argentina has some fire ones. I've
looked at some of the profiles andI'm like, well, their girlfriends are
all supermodels, so really I'll takemy leave on that. But I need
for a model, thank you.But it's kind of wild because again we're
in We're with these insanely attractive fitpeople. It's like a candy store.
(37:30):
It's like like Nia and I willjust be like check. I'm like,
yo, Na, you see thisguy, Like we're outlier pretty much objectifying.
Then like, shoot, do yousee him. But it's it is.
It is cool. And I'm somebodylike who just loves to meet people,
and I think it might come offas flirting. Honestly, I love
meeting anybody. I like talking toanyone. You could be the most attractive
(37:52):
person, you could be not thatattractive. I want to talk to you,
and so it's not that I'm interestedin you. I just want to
know your life story. I wantto know what's about I want to know
what rugby's like in this country.Shall and I will say, I think
that's very common with Leo's that wereso like conversational, so funny, so
nice and so open that that comesoff as oh, she's flirting with me,
(38:15):
and it's like, no, I'mjust being a nice person. Yeah,
no, I'm not gonna talk toyou anymore. You know what.
You don't get this, Yeah,it's and then they almost like think like,
yeah, she's just she's really intoeverybody. She's a as women get
um, we get named like ohshe's a hoo or something like no,
man, I literally want to talkto all these people. But because I'm
(38:36):
showing like an interest, which isjust being nice, they're like, she's
she kind of you know, getsinto everybody. I'm not just a friendly
person. Yeah, that's pretty annoying. But hey, um let's get in
some cup questions, shall we.We shall tell me Nia, what would
be your favorite part of dating you? That's talking vod Yeah, my image
(39:02):
as a whole and being able tobe locked arms with me walking down the
street and getting all those amazing stairsof how are you with this? Beautiful?
That is exactly yeah, I believethat exact same thing. I'm like,
any man would be lucky if Iwas locking the stairs I get when
(39:24):
I'm just on my own. Thinkabout it, sir, you'll be famous
too much? Leo, there justtoo much? Hello? What would you
say? It's like? Dating you? Um involve a lot of food,
(39:45):
a lot of food. I thinkI'm a person who might so my love
language is words of affirmation and touch, So I will constantly be touching you.
I just need to hug, Ineed to just hold a bicep or
something I don't know, but andthen words of affirmation. I love to
like. I think a lot oftimes men don't get a lot of compliments
(40:07):
because they're just described to be likethey don't need it. So I love
to compliment them, and I'll belike, wow, you look great,
or like give them something because Iwant that back, so I try to
give it to them. I usedto I'm big on that too, And
I used to date a guy andhe was so handsome and I would always
tell him that, and then eventuallyhe was like, is that all you
(40:28):
think of me? I'm like,just take the compliment. No, But
it's I see your face every dayand it's gorgeous and I just want to
tell you. No, it's likeyou want to let them know like I've
done to, like, wow,your body is really nice to them that
just so that they feel good aboutthemselves because I wanted to. They better
be saying that to me, though, Yeah, give and take here.
(40:50):
I'm like, babe, what doyou like about me? He's like,
you asked me this yesterday? Butdo you like like me or like you?
Just so? How do you knowover text if someone likes you or
they're just being friendly? I thinkit will all come down to actions,
(41:10):
yeah, like engagement. Yeah,like if they are like, let's get
this on the role, let's goon a date. You know, I
want to see you. I wantto hang out with you. I think
that is a sign. If theydon't ever express wanting to be around you
in person, they're probably just leadingyou on. Yeah, I'll be keeping
(41:32):
you on a string until somebody elsefalls off and they're like, Okay,
I guess I can hang out withher. I guess on board or it's
like yeah, so engagement. Justlike how they respond to things. I
think you can read a lot justby you ask them a question. It's
a very short, maybe cliff response. It's like okay, maybe not into
it. So like what I'll do. I like to DM, Like sometimes
(41:54):
DM people first off. I DMa lot of people just would be fun
and nice about it. But theguys I'm into. If I DM them
and you like check the response fromthem, they're like okay, yeah,
and he like kind of responded maybenot um, And then you you you
start that first conversation. Then sometimesI'll wait if he starts the next conversation
another day. What would be atypical first response for you when you're reaching
(42:19):
out to God? When I reachout, I have been very successful in
the past. I don't call myselfa queen of the dams um I think
it will be for me. I'llcomment on something like it was a one
time a soccer player. I waslike, where do you guys play your
games? You know, I'm notgonna go watch this man's games, but
(42:39):
but it was a good question tolike lead into something more because then you
can read from it. Um,maybe you can DM I'm a post or
be like yo, I saw youdoing this the other day, like and
so for me, I'm a veryfriendly person, and you'll usually can tell
if it's going to be something alonglike a different line. So I think
(43:02):
it's all the way you were there. Like just maybe even give a reaction
to an Instagram story or something likethat is key. Have you ever just
went up to a guy and gavehim your number? I actually have.
One time I saw this guy likelooking at me a coffee shop and I
was like, well, I'm here. So I went up to it and
I was like, hello, sir, are you waiting for someone? He
(43:25):
was like, I'm waiting for agirlfriend, and I was like sweet bye.
But then I've given my numbers tosome other guys and like at bars,
I'll be the one to first makea move. I one time did
that. I was with my mom, and I think we can't remember I
think we were in the Dominican Republicon vacation and I've seen a guy that
I thought was attractive and I wentand gave him my number. At my
(43:51):
mom was hissed. Really why,She's like, you seem to like needy,
like like like desperate exacly saying she'slike, if a guy wants to
talk to you, like let themcome ask for your number. And I
was like, Mom, we don'tdo that anymore. Yeah, Like if
(44:12):
I want to talk to a guy, why am I way some time sitting
there hoping that he would come overWhen I can just walk over and say,
hey, here's my number. Ifyour single, hit me up,
if you're interested to hit me up, if not, throw it away.
That's so key, and I thinkthat's like a key for some of our
listeners too, Like people, wehave this idea that the men have to
come up to you first, orthey have to make the first move.
I'll tell you what, men findit attractive and hot when you make the
(44:37):
first move. They're like, waita second, that's not leonergy, Like,
wait a second, she's going toget what she wants. Okay,
I did it. So it's scarybecause we're not taught to accept rejection.
We're like, don't get rejected.You don't want to try to get rejected.
Men, you can get rejected allthe time, but women are like,
don't get rejected. Yeah, butwhat's gonna happen if you say a
guy's attractive? Rash first number?If I was him, and be like,
(44:59):
look at person who's interested in me. I'm not undertowing that, but
it makes you feel good. There'snothing bad they could come of it.
He could be a psychopath, that'sprobably one percent chance, but nothing back
can come up just telling someone youthink they're attractive. Yeah, And I
think one of the things I alwaysam telling some of my friends is like,
the worst thing they can tell youis no. You've heard no before,
Like you'll be okay, Like it'sgonna build a stronger view because sitting
(45:22):
around waiting for people, you're gonnabe single the rest of your life.
One thing I think, if doyou ever use the pearl rugby player as
like a little a card to slidethat in? I do all the time.
Oh my gosh, I'm like,hey, I'm alone, I'm a
pro ruggy player, So what doyou want to talk? I don't really
bring it up until they're like,what do you do for a living?
(45:43):
Or most of the time they mayalready noticed I do something, so they're
like, oh, what sport doyou play? And I'm like reg b
and I don't know. I don'tget much, you know, like reaction
from it in the beginning, butonce they see like the lifestyle, they're
like, you're famous, and I'mlike, I'm not, but thank you.
I hope one day I am.Yeah, yeah, all right,
(46:04):
Well, thank y'all so much forlistening. Our challenge for you this week
is to make the first move,whether it be a DM, whether it
be a go talk to someone onthe street. If you do that,
DM, me let me know becausethat'll be so awesome. But remember,
they're not gonna be against it's notgonna like why would they be mad.
They're not being mad about it.They're gonna be excited and like, wow,
(46:25):
someone's interested in them. Like youhold the power in that. Right
now, we've told men to holdthe power to decide who they can talk
to. No, you decide whoyou can go talk to. And that's
for men, our male cubs andour female cubs. Because I know some
men who are you scared to makethe first move as well. So anybody
out there make that first move,whether that's in a relationship, whether that's
(46:47):
in your work life, whether that'sin your personal life. Do something that
can lead to rejection, do somethingthat can make you scared, because those
are the things that lead to biggerand better levels in your life. Yeah.
Yeah, Thanks everybody for tuning in. Make sure to check us out
on all platforms at leos Den Underscorewith Sports to stay updated. Visit with
(47:08):
sports dot com for the episode shownotes, and follow with Sports for more
conversation from the world of women's sports. Follow me Ni Tapper at Night Tapper
and also at my brand page UnderscoreNi on Fia Underscore and follow me at
Elona mar Whether you came for therugby and stage for the Shanigans, we
hope you join us next time theleos Den. Bye, peace out.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com