July 2, 2025 • 45 mins
Let’s Talk! Media LLC is proud to announce its latest podcast!
Different Topics, Different Reflections Part 3! 7/1/25
In this powerful and unfiltered episode of my Let’s Talk! Media LLC. Podcast I sit down with my friend Brandon Kacar (@aviationexpert314) to dive into the emotional realities of trying to hold onto love—even when the other person may seem distant, manipulative, or emotionally unavailable. We talk honestly about what to do when you’re still committed to a marriage or relationship that feels one-sided, and how to handle gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotionally controlling behavior with grace, strength, and self-respect.
My goal with this episode is not to be controversial or to speak ill of anyone involved. Brandon shared his story with me openly and gave his permission to bring it to the table, not to cast blame, but to offer clarity and perspective to those facing similar struggles. I’m proud to host these tough, nitty-gritty conversations—because in the real world, people go through real things, and sometimes we just need to talk about them.
Let’s keep it real, keep it respectful, and always lead with heart! ♥️
Don’t forget to check out HKA USA LLC for top-quality MMA gear!
Use my referral link and coupon code below for 20% off your next purchase:
🔗 Referral Link: https://hkausa.com/?ref=COBURN...
🎟️ Coupon Code: COBURNCCAPSHAW
Stay connected, stay positive, and let’s grow together!
Coburn C. Capshaw (@mistersmilesalot)
Founder & CEO, Let’s Talk! Media LLC.
© Copyright Coburn C. Capshaw
📞 Contact: 314-520-8389
📸 Photography/Video | 📈 Marketing & Advertising | 🥋 Martial Arts Coaching
“I’m here to talk about all of your needs!”
#Letstalk #Podcasting #Positivity #MediaMarketing #MentalHealth #MartialArts #HardWork #AdviceCoach #Martialartscoach
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/let-s-talk-media-llc-podcast--5723181/support.
Different Topics, Different Reflections Part 3! 7/1/25
In this powerful and unfiltered episode of my Let’s Talk! Media LLC. Podcast I sit down with my friend Brandon Kacar (@aviationexpert314) to dive into the emotional realities of trying to hold onto love—even when the other person may seem distant, manipulative, or emotionally unavailable. We talk honestly about what to do when you’re still committed to a marriage or relationship that feels one-sided, and how to handle gaslighting, blame-shifting, and emotionally controlling behavior with grace, strength, and self-respect.
My goal with this episode is not to be controversial or to speak ill of anyone involved. Brandon shared his story with me openly and gave his permission to bring it to the table, not to cast blame, but to offer clarity and perspective to those facing similar struggles. I’m proud to host these tough, nitty-gritty conversations—because in the real world, people go through real things, and sometimes we just need to talk about them.
Let’s keep it real, keep it respectful, and always lead with heart! ♥️
Don’t forget to check out HKA USA LLC for top-quality MMA gear!
Use my referral link and coupon code below for 20% off your next purchase:
🔗 Referral Link: https://hkausa.com/?ref=COBURN...
🎟️ Coupon Code: COBURNCCAPSHAW
Stay connected, stay positive, and let’s grow together!
Coburn C. Capshaw (@mistersmilesalot)
Founder & CEO, Let’s Talk! Media LLC.
© Copyright Coburn C. Capshaw
📞 Contact: 314-520-8389
📸 Photography/Video | 📈 Marketing & Advertising | 🥋 Martial Arts Coaching
“I’m here to talk about all of your needs!”
#Letstalk #Podcasting #Positivity #MediaMarketing #MentalHealth #MartialArts #HardWork #AdviceCoach #Martialartscoach
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/let-s-talk-media-llc-podcast--5723181/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hey everybody, this is cop and Seacapsule Slash that miss
smiles a lot. How y'all do today. If you're on
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(00:31):
arts journey. They've got great material that lasts forever. And
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an ambassador for HKUSA. So if you need twenty percent
off your next purchase, please use some iqbon code Coburn
Seedcapshaw that's Coburn ccapsulaw all Capital Altogether no spaces anyway,
(00:55):
Please go to hkausa dot com to get twenty percent
off your next purchase. Use my name as your coupon code,
and please enjoyed this podcast. Hey everybody, this is Coverca
caps Off Slashers just smiles a lot, and I'm here
with my buddy and BRANDI GA Charge Slash and at
a Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Expert therefore, I'm we're both a little tired.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So we just literally just got doing a martial arts
training demonstration video that was a lot of fun. Well,
I mean boxing, you know, just basic boxing, just the
basic one, two, three fours and some basic blocks and
perrys and things like that. Nothing too funner, I mean,
I mean it's fun, but nothing too crazy special. So
the reason that we might sound a little bit off
(01:38):
is because of.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
The fact that well got that moving around.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, and not only that, but I sillingly silly, sillily
or stupidly. Let's be honest, I have my microphones here,
but I forgot the cord. So we're trying to speak
as closely to the phone as we can so that
you get the best quality of our podcasts that I can.
(02:04):
So anyway, so there's another let's talk me to llas
the audio podcast, and we're just gonna basically be talking
about different things, different reflections about life or whatever. If
you didn't notice, I titled our podcast it's a different
different something, different reflections or different topics, different reflections because
you and I do talk about different topics or sometimes
the same topics, but it always has a different reflection.
(02:26):
It's not always like we say the same thing, even
if it's about the same stuff, whether that's martial arts
or security or whatever. But so last time we talked
about religion and things like that, let's talk a little
about relationships.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I know, a long time ago, I think you and
I have talked about why it's important to be loving
and caring and you know, and you know, when they
when it comes to marriages, you know, people say chivalry
isn't dead. That's why you should always still you know
my opinion. You know, get your woman flowers, taking them dates,
hold her from behind, kiss or lever. You know, obviously,
(03:00):
learn how special she is to you, how much you
love her, you know, things like that or that nature. Now,
I know that's kind of an obvious given, but you know,
I remember a lot of guys do forget that, and
you know then they want to say, oh, why won't
the girl even look at me. It's like, well, you
start doing the things that made her fall in love
with you in the first place. You know, I know,
relationship expert. I'm no, I'm know it's relationship guru, but
(03:22):
you know, I know what it takes to be in
a good, honest relationship. I know what it takes to
be a good loving person. I know what it takes
to like trade my wife right, you know, and that's
why she fell in love with me. That's why she
fell in love with the person that I am, you know.
And what I'm saying is that, you know, when it
comes to relationships, especially like like all this fast quick
(03:46):
online dating and things like that, now it's like it's
it's it's it's exciting, but it's scary because you think
you know you're meeting up with, but you really don't.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You do, but you don't. So it's so it's a
give or take, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
And it's one of those things where if you're gonna
be in a long, long term relationship or whatever, then
like you got to learn how to learn to live
with each other's quirks. Like see if like, oh well
if I do this or that, will not drive them crazier?
Will just drive them crazier, will it not? You know, whatever,
things the things of that nature. When it comes to uh,
(04:23):
you know, fights or whatever, don't don't gaslight, don't try
to put things on the other person, don't.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Don't project.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Don't you know me, let me put this a way
you're gonna fight, you're gonna argue, try to compromise in
some way, you know what I'm saying, that's just my opinion.
What I'm saying is that like you might yell, you
might say something stupid, you might say something.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
In the heat of the moment or whatever, but you.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Know, try to also at the same time, like listen
to them and see things from their point of view,
even if they're yelling at you, which is a fair
n but it's sometimes you kind of have to take
it or whatever. And then so that way, instead of
maybe reacting in a negative way, it can like really
allow you and help you evaluate how you want to
(05:13):
react to what they're saying in the first place. You know,
so instead of being reactive, you're active or I don't know,
there's there's a saying for that, proactive or whatever you
want to call it. And but i will say this though, man,
what bothers me? And I'm sure you see it online
all the time too? Are women who just want to
(05:35):
down men all the time, and then they have the
audacity to say where do all the good men go?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
It's like, well, you're driving us away.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We don't want to date you because of how toxic
you really are, you know what I'm saying, Especially these
women that always silly standards. He used to be this,
he has to be that, he has to do this
and that, and then they bring nothing to the table.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
You know what I'm saying. It's like why you got
to be like that? You know? Or these women who
just like.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Just narts assist and there's the you know what I'm saying,
there's just they're toxically there are ways of like not
taking responsibility or accountability, or they just post like all
these hateful things about men thinking it's okay, and it's like,
I mean, i wouldn't go into more detail, but I'm
not attacking women, okay, like or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
But you know men men.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Are just as bad. You know what I'm saying is
that like nowadays, it's hard to find a good honest
person to be in a relationship with, or somebody who's
not gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Use the influence of like something to turn their back
on you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You know what I'm saying, Like, whether that's the Internet
or whether that's staying with these women they just wanna
bring down men all the time, or you know, say
we're not good enough. Or like you know, like say
like oh, here's like here's me celebrating taking a moment
in silence dream men's mental health months, like what's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You know?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Or just like these girls who are like, while you're
doing this, my or man or my or y, what
I'm getting? Guys are like it's there's so many different examples,
and you know, there's so many uh different ways of
how they can be like that.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But again men are the same way.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So I mean, I don't know what's your like personal
thoughts on like, you know, like online dating. It's just
like how you know, the toxic effemininity on online can
be now and things like that, like like and I
know you see it all the time.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It's like women there's not fair to guys online anymore,
and they think it's cute to post online like they're untouchable,
and it's like, no, you don't realize people are actually
coming back at you know, for being like that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
But anyway, what what's your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well, online dating to me doesn't exist, honestly, it doesn't.
There's no such thing as online dating. You know, I
really don't even have nothing to say about it, honestly, yo, really.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Shouldn't exist it It shouldn't even be a thing. It shouldn't. Oh,
I just.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yeah, it's I don't know, it's just our.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
What you're getting is that you believe in the old school, like, hey,
I want to actually go somewhere and talk to you
and get to know you, yep, instead of and you
know what, Yeah, but then again, what are people gonna
argue back, Well, maybe you could get to know them
by talking on them on line a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
First, it's like, yeah, I get that, but come on,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Like me, my ex, for example, we didn't meet online dating.
We met on Facebook, right.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
So we technically kind of well.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
There wasn't an well we didn't know each other well,
but we went to like we went to school together,
but we didn't like talk or anything.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Yeah, we just have mutual friends.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
And then I head her up one time on Facebook
and bam, there we are.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So it's not really let me this way.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
When I say on dating, I mean, like I think
more the apps, you know what I'm saying, And well,
I mean Facebook is an app now, but back then
it was just a website. So well, okay, that's still online.
I don't know, Like I feel like Facebook's a little
bit different when it comes to that, because in a
way that not saying people don't meet on Facebook or
whatever don't have the bravery Like you know, she's just cute,
(09:13):
he's cute, like let me message him or her whatever.
But usually whenever you hear about online stuff is usually like.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
A dating app.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So I know you're just saying, so that's why I
felt a little bit more pure and things like that, right, yeah, yeah, man,
So we'll speaking of which and things like that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
So not to throw her.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Another bunch and things like that, but I know you
wanted to get some things off your chest. And you know,
remember I'm not a therapist, but as your friend, I'll
give you my best advice. So if you don't, if
you don't mind, and if you if I take things
too far, please stop me. But not to put blessed
me in her name. I'm not even gonna say her name.
I have to respect for you or anything like that,
but basically you aren't. You don't like her behavior in
(09:57):
the past.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I do know that just like a lot of these.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
No offense these women I talked about, she accuses you
things we haven't done.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I don't know if she's still doing that. No, this
is past stuff, right.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
She used to accuse you things that you've been done.
She was finding the excuse to basically be verbally mentally
abusive to you. I don't know if she was ever physical,
and let's not let's not get any of that.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Because let's smell too much.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
She would use her kids, your kids against you. I
know she would do that. She would go out late
at night. You don't know who with or what she
was doing. She would she would cheat on you, let's
be honest. And you know this, there's rumors of her
maybe being pregnant with someone else's kin. You don't know
if that's true or not, and or if it's even
you know, his or or whatever. And she's using that
(10:50):
against you, and she's kind of throwing that back in
your face. And that's not fair, and again that's not right.
But you love her, so me saying all this is not.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Out of disrespect. As you know in the past, I've said,
you know, try to forget about her.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Move on.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
She's not good for you.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But the thing is that you're you, and I can't
change you. And you know what, and and I respect
that in a way because when you really love someone,
then I'm sorry, I can't. I can't fight that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I can't. I can't change.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I can't I can tell you to do all these
different things. You know what, at the end of the day,
you're gonna be you. And I'm not one of those
people that finds that disrespectful as long as you're willing
to at least listen to what I have to say
and at least take some thought into it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And then only if that's the way. I don't want
to be your decision maker. I'm not you. I'm not
your dad.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I'm not I'm not telling you what to do, and
I'm not when it's the influence, I I mean influence,
like in a in a bad way, like hey, I'm
trying to influence you come to me and not not
like that, no influences and like maybe in the middle
of something you might be like, hey, you know what,
Kobe said this to me and it got me thinking
maybe I shouldn't do this or whatever, and that's done.
(12:07):
That's not just a real relationship with her. I'm talking
about anything in life, you know what I'm saying. What's
been an what I'm saying is that you know, it's
just she was this is my opinion, she and I
don't know what she's doing now, but she has very narcissistic,
very toxic behavior. And I just I didn't like how
(12:27):
she had this like childish almost middle school like not
even I mean anyway like mentality and like it was
okay and like and like she wasn't doing anything wrong
and doing everything she could to push it back in
your face, and like it just it hurt me to
see that happening to you as my friend.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And you know, I and I and I then I.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Told you what to do, but again like you're you're
gonna do your own thing, and again I can't. I
can't stop you from doing what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And but uh, I mean, le let let's talk about it, like,
w do you what do you wanna ask me? Like
what's like? What What's something I can help you out with?
Or I can give you advice on her? My my best.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Opinion, Well, I mean.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Sometimes I feel like I just need more time to
sell myself down and figure things out yeh more thoroughly
before I even decide what I wanna do with her.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Everything yeah, okay, I don't know. So I've been given
some thoughts.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I I've been.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Been giving the thoughts past couple.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Of days, weeks, or even months to be honest, just
about like trying to figure out how they sort things out,
how to come up with life key solutions to fix problems. Yeah,
I mean, oh no, I'm just still putting a lot
(14:02):
of thoughts into what I feel like needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So, like, give me an example of, like what you
feel like you're doing to better your life or better
try to better your life before you try to better
your regre your relationship with her, even though that she
is still in the back of your head, Like what
are something or what are some steps you've taken in
your life to better yourself?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
And you know, well, I I've I've gotten rid of
certain people from my life. Yeah that's caused issues or
or I.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Can already name one of them, but I'm not going
to yea quite a few of them.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Yeah, that's one thing I've done.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
The other thing I've done is try to focus more
solely on working school itself. The better myself and the
better my income and career. Trying to better myself with
with a better community and better lifestyle and be able
to to have more improvement, more more and more improvement
(15:05):
in uh, with my.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
With my.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I don't know my social life or I don't know.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
I just.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So like when you say your social life, do you
mean as then you're trying to go out and meet
new friends or just like being more social versus like
you know, hanging out or just working and then coming
here all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Yeah, just working or working and going not going out,
but just like hanging out with like work friends or
or coming here and helping out here. Maybe I don't know,
go on some runs, work out some more, be able
to have a more active lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
In my opinion, I think the most detrimental thing anyone
can do to themselves, especially mentally, is to not take breaks,
is to not take time off as to that, because
the thing is that, like you know, life sucks sometimes
it can be really hard, and like if you don't
know what.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
If you don't take time to yourself, you're gonna go crazy.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Let me ask you something you said you're not next
or anything.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Let's say in.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Your spouse or X whatever are having problems and stuff, right,
and it's been weeks and months without you know, being
together or steparate and stuff, and you want to reach
out to her and stuff, or sometimes she reaches out
to you and stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Or well no not huh.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Let me find a better way to rephrase what is
a sign? So let's say you reach out to your ex. Okay,
you're married, you would know. Okay, so you're married. Let's
say you and your wife are being the force. I
hope that never happens. Sometimes I wish that it doesn't
(17:05):
have Well, technically I am still legally married, but but
you're separated, which I'm trying to fix this Actually my marriage,
I would prefer staying married to one and the same
person only anyways. So so my question roles gating that
is that let's say you and your wife having issues problems, right,
(17:30):
you guys are separated. You know, you guys got kids
together of course obviously just like me and me and
mine do. Let's say you reach out to your wife
or your your your whatever you reach out. Do you
want to talk and stuff like, let's say you reach
(17:53):
out about like trying to talk about stuff that's not romance.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Related or whatever.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Right, sure they respond, but then they uh, they like
not bring up the past but like I want to
like talk to you about like, mm, what is a
(18:22):
sign that that you and your your ex spouse are
still communicating? Wishing you too are still happy to get
or you too uh uh wish things bad things have
not happened in the past, and stuff like that, or
like or let's say you wish you could try to
(18:43):
fix things with with her and then she uh she
has a lot of trust issues at that point and stuff,
but she's still uh communicating with you or or or
or I don't just like, I don't know what would
you see that as as cling.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
So whatever good question.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I would watch her her her actions as as to
what she does, like like judge judging Like they say,
don't judge her actions, but judge her character.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Okay, but you can judge her actions too.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I mean, her her actions might show you her true character,
her true colors.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Is to see who she is.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Starts slow about this.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Let mean, what is a sign that that she was
still want to be with you or wants to or
still has.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
So here's where here's where.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Here's this is leading into whether it's text or calling,
her tone of voice, is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
She's talking sweet or is she being mean?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Is she does she yelling or she being or she's
being helpful, and you can you know her.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I don't know her, But what I'm saying is that.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Her tone of voice, the way that she's talk talking
to you, and the.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Her body language.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
If you see her her person, pay attention to her
body language, facial expression, all that, like like you know,
you know her body language better than I do, obviously,
and she's showing you like that body language of like
this is about to be a fight, you know, watch
out for that. You know, I would definitely say, uh,
(20:27):
if you want to go there, say hey, look, I
notice that you're still talking to me. I'm still talking
to you. I don't know what this means. I don't
know what this means. I don't know what this is going.
I know, thinking keeping things platonic or we're just I
don't even know if we're friends at this point, but
clearly we're in each other's lives and we have to
(20:48):
be because we have we have children together.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
So I'm just gonna be honest. And if you feel
like it.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Needs to get to this point you say, I'm being
honest with you, I know you're possibly what's so and so?
And I know you're possibly having a baby with so
and so, but whether whether you do or not, I am.
I have been thinking about you, and I do miss
you now.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I don't know what that means to you, and I
don't think this might turn it into anything, but I
just thought i would let you know how I'm feeling
before I might lose you to someone else. And I'm
just saying like that that might be a lot, but
you know, if it gets to that point that that's
what I would say, just like you know.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
And the thing is that you know, you're not saying.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I love you, You're not saying I need you, You're not
saying I want to get back together, but you just
say hey, you're saying, hey, I miss you and I
and I miss what we had. And I'm just letting
you know what I'm thinking about. You know what I'm
thinking about what we used to have. But I'm not
saying I want to get back together. But I just
thought I will let you know, like if there's any
type of possibility for this to maybe maybe be a
(21:53):
thing again, I'm letting you know how I'm feeling about
it now before I lose you to this guy that
you're with right now. So that's that's that would be
my best advice to say to you. But again, watch
out for her character, watch her tone, watch her body language, watch.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Out she talks to you.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And even in text messages, you can tell like when
someone's mad, or when they're like being narcissistic or guest
like or even lying to you, like like nowadays, like
you know, we've been on our we've been on our
phones enough to where we can tell someone's tone just
but even text messages. You know, that's kind of scary
that we figured out how to do that as society,
but like it's probably a good thing. So that way
(22:33):
you really know like how they're feeling about things, you know.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, but don't jump the gum. Don't do that too soon.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Obviously, do it when you feel like you need to,
or like I said, do it if you feel like
she's actually giving to give you like the feedback kind
of like oh hey, I kind of want to see
where this is gonna go. But here's a thing. She
might make the first move she m she might apologize.
I don't know if she will or not, but from
(23:08):
what you've told me about her, and get no offense
she might not, but maybe even if she's in the wrong,
which she is a lot of the time from the past,
but it sounds like she might be getting better. I
don't know, dude, I don't know. Maybe apologize to her first,
even if you feel like you shouldn't. I mean, because
if you are really trying to maybe save save what's
(23:31):
going on, then maybe apologizing would be the best option first,
or should be like, hey, look, I'm sorry, and like
maybe they're going to details a still why you're sorry,
because I feel like you're saying sorry might just be enough.
Or who knows, maybe she's feeling in one of those
bad moves that she can get in. She might blow up,
but you say, no, you're not, because I know you're
(23:52):
just saying that, you know, you know, trying to you know,
mess with my head.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Or I don't know how she reacts.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But what I'm saying is like, maybe you just say sorry, man,
that that's that might be all it takes, unless that's
what you can only hope for, you know, And that's
that's my best advice. I mean, I just wish a
(24:22):
friend friend to a friend.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Okay, buddy the buddy, I just wish that.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
She didn't have such a bad tacit you because it
would be so much easier for me to say, go
for it. Yeah, but everybody, but as somebody who actually
gives a shit about you, I I every answer mean
wants to say, just but you have children with her,
you love her. I again, dude, I'm not I'm not
(24:46):
passing judgment. I'm not telling you what to do. Like
I'm I'm still gonna be a friend no matter what.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm just saying, be be careful, man, Cause if even
if she's getting better, a girl like her and someone again,
know who has a toxic past like her, or everything
that she's put you through, that could flare up again.
Even if she shows you months years of like good behavior,
of not being that way, of not wanting to hurt you,
(25:12):
manipulate you, you know, just do everything that she she's done
in the past, they could turn a right back around.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And and here's here's the thing. Like the first, lemme
go get a little more drink. But I I wanna
ask you, and then I want you to answer. I
don't know, what are you gonna do if you do
find out that she is pregnant?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
What that other guy did.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Well, uh that that's like I figure out too.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Yeah, like, hell, the folks are back run back, so
(26:07):
like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Okay, here's a better question.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What if she is or you know, and she does
wanna work things back out, even if it's she's finding
them with someone else's kid and she wants to keep it,
can you forgive her enough to say, you know what,
let's work on this, like like, are you really wanting
to possibly save your marriage that much?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Alright? I think that's a good question to ask.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Or a good way of putting things to do perspective, Yeah,
you know, yeah, well, I mean you gotta think about that,
like yeah, like w w like what's your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Like I don't know what i'd do about that though.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, okay, let me make it easier. What if she says,
I will one stop my behavior that had made things
difficult for us in the past and must stop doing
all you know, I wouln't want up go into detail,
but anyway, and she one hundred means it, and she
(27:16):
dispend together with you, and over time she really shows
that she's you know, changed, even knowing that she might
be pregnant or you should find out she is actually
pregnant with someone else's kid, But she's like giving herself
to you one hundred percent fully, How would you feel
about it?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Then? I think that's a better way of puting that.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
I mean, I would do it in a heartbeat, like
I would y mix everything in a heartbeat. But but
for the fact if you're gonna be pregnant, then that's
another issue.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Cause thee with the kid making feeling where that dad is,
and it's just it's yeah, it's just it's not in
my opinion, that's not good, you know, mentally on a
on a child, you know. Yeah, But then again, like
you know, what do I know? I've never been put
in that situation, so and I'm sorry that's happening to you.
(28:17):
I mean, are you even a hundred percent sure if
she is pregnant with those kids old another?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Or is it so kind of up in the air.
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
I think it's just fuck in the ear.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Now when she told you, like, was she kind of like, hey, Okay,
here's here's a bad question speaking of like tone and
body language and character and characteristics and just that she talked.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
When she told you, was it during a fight?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Was she pushing it back in your face, like trying
to be a checked this out or is it more
of or was she more sincere, like hey, just to
let you know I might be pregning with someone else's
Like was it more of like a well.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
No, cause it was the text message, and I feel
like it was more of a pushback.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
See that's m Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
So even in the text message, like I said, like
when now nowadays we know how to read people's tone
even through text, right, So you're saying that and even
though if their texting form you could tell her tone
was like negative or yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
See yeah, so it seems like she might have been
pushing that back at you. And that's not I don't know, man,
see it again.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
But but now only does that too? It's the people
she hangs around with two that I don't trust.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Yeah, that's the other.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Is she too?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I mean she's what about her age and she's going
out clubbing when she has kids?
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Yeah, your friends don't ye see as I'm saying they
don't have kids, they don't.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Like that's gotta be messed up.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, I don't know how to feel about that, man. Sorry,
Like here's the things I like, I mean I go
all with my friends. I mean, we're doing this, but
I mean I'm not drinking. I'm not you know, paring.
I'm not going nuts, you know, like when I'm saying
plus like I don't want to. I mean, like, I
mean sometimes I do shirt, like especially if it's like
(30:15):
a good wee can show with my friends in high school,
like we're doing something or whatever. I don't have any responsibilities,
but like, yeah, like I don't know, man, I just
I couldn't do that to my kid or my wife.
But that wouldn't it don't feel weird? Like okay, sweetie,
it's going out to the club, like what you know,
that would feel weird to me, But un pertually, I
don't know. Just look, I guess all I'm all like, okay,
(30:50):
well here, So my guess is that keep on thinking
about the things about the past that she did that
made you happy, that made that made you love her
in the first place, Like I said, the whole you know,
My question to you was like, is that why, I like,
you're still trying to hold on because you think there
(31:12):
might be some ounce of help because of the fact
that she's you know, she might be pregnant with someone
else's she's still talking to you.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
Well, I don't know, I mean, m I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
I just cause sometimes when we when we uh run
into each other in person, like we don't argue, we
don't find.
Speaker 5 (31:43):
You know, we just.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
I don't like what you've been up to this and that,
like so okay for example, yeah, for example.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Uh, yeah, that's a good example.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
For mom. Was a mother's day?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
No, what a holiday was it? Dang?
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I remember what?
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Scho what what what the occasion was? Oh it was
from my daughter's birthday.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
They wanted me to go with them to the mall
good were piercing for her. Good, I agree to it.
I agree to it.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
And then we were like walking around doing our shopping
and whatnot. After we got her piercing, we we went
to an all women's clothing store for her and then uh,
(32:55):
as we were inside and stuff, I mean she was
still hesitant, but not too hesitant about me like being there, yeah,
being there, touching her, putting my arm around her and stuff.
And then we went out to lunch. We were eating lunch,
(33:18):
saying thing. You know, we were pretty much being a
little physical with each other, or I was being more physical.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
With her, like holding her from behind, or yeah, in
occasionally maybe like brushing rum on hers or like yeah,
maybe not necessarily holding her hand, but like sticking their
fingers out, touching her fing fingers, like do you want
to hold hands or not? And she would kind of
pull away up the.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Sort of thing, oh no, not like not flirty, not flirty,
but like saying I'm I'm here right kind of like.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
Something like that.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Yeah, or I would like rub my fingers on her
back or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Yeah, you're being sweet, you're being sincere, you were y,
you're being a f you're showing affections being a faction.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Then yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So you know, it was one of those things of
where it's like you could help yourself because you felt
like where to leave one of them you weren't or
you wanted a couple.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Just being there with her and probably seeing how much.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Fun she was having and all sh and all those
fun things her daughter's doing. I probably just brought back
memories of like, you know, happiness or like you know,
like like this could be us like as a couple.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
So it's like, you know, like oh, so let me
show you, like I I I get what you're saying,
I I get it. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I mean some one of those things that were you know,
when I'm with my wife and my kid and I
see him running around playing having fun of being all
cute and everything, like I'll give her a hugging kids
or like you know, I'll just like smile and I'll
be like thank you for helping me like make him,
or like thank you for having him with me, cause
he's like he brings me so much joy.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
She's like, yeah, me too, and say thanks for being
a and I'm like to him, I don't think you're
being a mom to him, So so I get it.
It's one of those things of where.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Seeing her run around, seeing her enjoy yourself, you love
that it made you happy, it gave you emotional feelings.
And because she happened to be there, because she's the
mother of your child, you couldn't help yourself like you
wanted to, right but like you, she's here. Let me
let me let her know that, Like this means a
lot to me that, like you know that we're not together,
(35:28):
I'm love with that we get to share this special
moment with our daughter. I wanted to, you know, so
let me show you a little bit of affection, even
thoughing that you might take it weird. I just want
to I get I get it, you couldn't. It's one
of those things of where it's just the emotions drove
the action of you to do that. And I think
(35:49):
the reason that she took it so well is because
she realized you're being sweet, you were being sincere, you
weren't being weird, or you did or you didn't push
you too far to where you're like, hey, let's be
a couple again. But like like I said, you're again,
you really here, know that you were there. It's like
I'm here if you you know, just like I I
you know what I'm saying by s like lemon know
you were there, like y y no, that makes you
(36:11):
know what I mean, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
But yeah, man, it's just trying to think of what
else's advice I could give you.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I mean, if my advice seemed to help a little bit,
or I mean, it doesn't make any sense, like yeah, yeah,
cause it's one of those things where you're like, again, yeah,
I can give you all the advice that I can
and try to help you out, but.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
You know, at the end of the day, you're gonna
do your thing.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
You know, I do appreciate you listening, and I appreciate
you like actually trying to, you know, see what I
had to say, you know, cause Hugh Valouing, in my opinion,
means a lot, cause I'm just trying to help you
as your friend. You know, yeah, you know, but you
know I value your.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Opinion on what you have to say.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
You know, you like in the day, you're gonna try
to work things out with her, and that's perfectly fine,
But I'm just trying to help you with letting you know,
I just don't want to see you getting hurt at
the end, or you know, like I don't want.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Her to pull the wool over you as as they say,
or dupe you or you know, Oh, I don't know, man.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Just relationships are hard. They're funny, they're weird, they're love,
they're enjoyable. They're especially when you know you're not just
your situation, but any other situation that anyone is going through.
And I bet you anything anything we hear about all
the tipe people going through the same things that you
(37:53):
that you're going through right now, Like in a weird way,
you still love her even and that she was like
for being honest. Again, no offense to her. The main
problem cause her of your all's issues. But there's just
be because if you remember her past and who she
used to be and that's and you know, you know
the wonderful person that she can be, and because you
(38:15):
love that about her, it makes you want to try
to hold onto that, right, Yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I get it. It's just.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I just don't want her to hurt you so bad
in the end, like you just give up or you know,
or what I'm getting is that like even if it
doesn't work out with you, to try to don't try
to be there for your kids obviously, you know what
I'm saying, Like doesn't make any sense, Like if it
(38:48):
doesn't work out with you too, be there for your
kids no matter what.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Cause I mean, they need you obviously, And yeah, they
need your influence. They need you to be their dad.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
They needs you to be their world modeled, their hero there,
you know, their their gui, their guide or their then there.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
They need your guidance. I think I said that, but
you you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So even if she gives up a new D y D,
you need to say to her, well, I'm not giving
up on our kids, Like, sorry, that's not gonna happen. Like, don't, like,
don't even let her give you the option to do that.
You know what I'm saying, Cause wouldn't be fair to
them at all, You know what I'm saying. But yeah, man,
anything else or any other.
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Other advice, sir, I'm tryna think honestly.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Or any questions like leatship wise, Uh, you don't know. Okay,
I have one for you that's actually a good one.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
What if you find a woman who has everything you're
looking for.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, she likes you, she's not toxic, she's not a backstabber,
and you can tell she'd be really good for you,
Like she'd be able to a person, and she accepts.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
The fact that you have children with another woman. And
as soon as she meets your kids, she's all over them.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
She's motherless, she's loving, she's like, oh my gosh, I
love you kids, and like your kids are like all
over her, loving her to death, Like.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
How would that.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Hands respective on her? On on your ex even know
that you're still still trying to work things out with her.
But if you meet a woman who's like who checks
off all the boxes for you. You know what I'm saying,
Will that be harder for them to you know?
Speaker 5 (40:37):
I mean no, not really. I'd probably take it, Ashley,
I'll take that offer.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But for now you're just trying to Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Yeah, Now, you wouldn't take it out of like vengeance
to be mean to your ex or anything like that.
Just like, no, you would do it because it would
you know, you might feel right, you know, you might
be like, it's about time I met someone who's like gonna,
(41:13):
you know, treat me a writer.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
You know, Yeah, I don't know, man.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Like, all I'm saying in the end is that if
she's gotten better good and you can tell you if
she has or hasn't, it doesn't matter to me. Yeah,
But what I'm saying is that I just I just
didn't like the way that she treated you in the past,
and she's still doing that behind closed doors. Then you
(41:40):
don't have to you don't have to tell me because
I don't want to me put this away. I'll help
you out or whatever. But you know, I'm your buddy,
but I don't really be a part of the drama.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
But you know, if you want my advice, I'll give
you my advice. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yeah, you know, just like I respect you, like I
don't tell you about my fights I have with my
wife or you know, like or issues that I have
with like at at work whatever, because it wouldn't be
fair of me to that to you as your friend,
to bring all that mental anguish towards you.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
That's that's not fair.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
But I'll you know, I've asked you for your advice
on this before and I've been like, hey, when it
comes to security on this, like what do you feel
about this? And we're like, oh, well, this would this
is the protocol for this, the procedure for the like
oh yeah, like don't think that like you know, I'll
you know, or like when we talk about work stuff,
you know, like our on my podcast, or it's not
like even if it's like a little bit negative, we
(42:29):
find a light light way of saying it or like
making it fun or like we're not we're not trying
to come down on people or you know, like you
get where I'm going to that.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
But yeah, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
I don't know, man, I mean I know, but I
don't know. So, like I said, listen to end things
off and plus it's eleven thirty. We've been talking about
forty minutes and that's pretty good long enough podcast. But
to the listeners, listeners out there, to everyone and my buddy,
you're like, what I'm saying is that, don't don't be mean,
(43:06):
don't use things against your exes, don't use things against
your significant others. Try to love one another, be fair
to one another, compromise, you know, say sorry, apologize, don't
be narcissistic, don't guess light, don't attack the other person.
Don't do things on social media online, don't don't post
things attacking the other person that you're with, because you
(43:27):
know that's just gonna get you nowhere, be a mature adult,
sit down, have a real conversation, and try to work
things out like civilized people. And if in the end
you realize it's not gonna work out as much as
it might hurt, even if you have children together, maybe
in the end it's best that you realize that this
(43:47):
isn't gonna work. But if you feel like there's any
ounce of it, then try to do what you can
to fight for it. But even if it takes time
and you have to do slowly, then do slowly. Anyway,
that's all they really have to say before I do
things out brandon any of the things you have to
say or want to anything you want to say or
ask me about any I'm sorry, I'm getting tired out.
(44:09):
Any last second questions or any advice.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Or anything like that, or I don't think I do.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Okay, wit Man appreciated me on this podcast with me again,
I think we veryly lately talked about your ex without
saying too much short ever, but you know, and I
appreciate you let me express how I feel about her
and the things that she's done to you. But if
you know, I didn't attack her because I'm not I'm
not the kind of person. But it's like, you know,
I didn't say she's a blah blah blah, didn't name call.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I didn't, but I'm but I'm like, well, she does
this and it bothers me.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Let's see, you like, I try to be respectful because
you're my friend and I and I don't want to
be You get what I'm saying anyway, But I guess that's.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
A little good little way to end things off. On advice,
people tell your friends how you really feel about them.
But doing a nice kind of way to where its
non offensive.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Anyway, everybody, thank you all so much for listening and
tuning into this podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I really appreciate it. I love you all.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
This has been compency capsulic, trust it much smiles a
lot again with Brandy Gachard Slash at Aviation Expert three
and four. This has been another less to talk me
to LLS audio podcast. And if you need again, just
like I said in my our martial arts or non
keep saying that in our boxing demonstration video, uh, if
you need twenty percent off your next purchase for your
(45:28):
mixed martial arts gear at HKA USA dot com, please
use my coupon code Coburn ccap shots. My whole name
all capitalized, all altogether, no spaces. Anyway, Thank you all
so much for listening and tuning into this podcast, and
we'll see you next time.
Hey everybody, this is cop and Seacapsule Slash that miss
smiles a lot. How y'all do today. If you're on
a mixed martial arts journey but you're not sure exactly
where to gets some of the best, and I do
mean the best mixed martial arts gear, you have to
go to HKUSA dot com. They've got headgear, boxing gloves,
shint guards, anything that you need for your mixed martial
(00:31):
arts journey. They've got great material that lasts forever. And
I will know personally because I have my own personal
products from them that I absolutely love. Also, I am
an ambassador for HKUSA. So if you need twenty percent
off your next purchase, please use some iqbon code Coburn
Seedcapshaw that's Coburn ccapsulaw all Capital Altogether no spaces anyway,
(00:55):
Please go to hkausa dot com to get twenty percent
off your next purchase. Use my name as your coupon code,
and please enjoyed this podcast. Hey everybody, this is Coverca
caps Off Slashers just smiles a lot, and I'm here
with my buddy and BRANDI GA Charge Slash and at
a Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Expert therefore, I'm we're both a little tired.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So we just literally just got doing a martial arts
training demonstration video that was a lot of fun. Well,
I mean boxing, you know, just basic boxing, just the
basic one, two, three fours and some basic blocks and
perrys and things like that. Nothing too funner, I mean,
I mean it's fun, but nothing too crazy special. So
the reason that we might sound a little bit off
(01:38):
is because of.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
The fact that well got that moving around.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, and not only that, but I sillingly silly, sillily
or stupidly. Let's be honest, I have my microphones here,
but I forgot the cord. So we're trying to speak
as closely to the phone as we can so that
you get the best quality of our podcasts that I can.
(02:04):
So anyway, so there's another let's talk me to llas
the audio podcast, and we're just gonna basically be talking
about different things, different reflections about life or whatever. If
you didn't notice, I titled our podcast it's a different
different something, different reflections or different topics, different reflections because
you and I do talk about different topics or sometimes
the same topics, but it always has a different reflection.
(02:26):
It's not always like we say the same thing, even
if it's about the same stuff, whether that's martial arts
or security or whatever. But so last time we talked
about religion and things like that, let's talk a little
about relationships.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Now.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I know, a long time ago, I think you and
I have talked about why it's important to be loving
and caring and you know, and you know, when they
when it comes to marriages, you know, people say chivalry
isn't dead. That's why you should always still you know
my opinion. You know, get your woman flowers, taking them dates,
hold her from behind, kiss or lever. You know, obviously,
(03:00):
learn how special she is to you, how much you
love her, you know, things like that or that nature. Now,
I know that's kind of an obvious given, but you know,
I remember a lot of guys do forget that, and
you know then they want to say, oh, why won't
the girl even look at me. It's like, well, you
start doing the things that made her fall in love
with you in the first place. You know, I know,
relationship expert. I'm no, I'm know it's relationship guru, but
(03:22):
you know, I know what it takes to be in
a good, honest relationship. I know what it takes to
be a good loving person. I know what it takes
to like trade my wife right, you know, and that's
why she fell in love with me. That's why she
fell in love with the person that I am, you know.
And what I'm saying is that, you know, when it
comes to relationships, especially like like all this fast quick
(03:46):
online dating and things like that, now it's like it's
it's it's it's exciting, but it's scary because you think
you know you're meeting up with, but you really don't.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
You do, but you don't. So it's so it's a
give or take, you know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
And it's one of those things where if you're gonna
be in a long, long term relationship or whatever, then
like you got to learn how to learn to live
with each other's quirks. Like see if like, oh well
if I do this or that, will not drive them crazier?
Will just drive them crazier, will it not? You know, whatever,
things the things of that nature. When it comes to uh,
(04:23):
you know, fights or whatever, don't don't gaslight, don't try
to put things on the other person, don't.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Don't project.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Don't you know me, let me put this a way
you're gonna fight, you're gonna argue, try to compromise in
some way, you know what I'm saying, that's just my opinion.
What I'm saying is that like you might yell, you
might say something stupid, you might say something.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
In the heat of the moment or whatever, but you.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Know, try to also at the same time, like listen
to them and see things from their point of view,
even if they're yelling at you, which is a fair
n but it's sometimes you kind of have to take
it or whatever. And then so that way, instead of
maybe reacting in a negative way, it can like really
allow you and help you evaluate how you want to
(05:13):
react to what they're saying in the first place. You know,
so instead of being reactive, you're active or I don't know,
there's there's a saying for that, proactive or whatever you
want to call it. And but i will say this though, man,
what bothers me? And I'm sure you see it online
all the time too? Are women who just want to
(05:35):
down men all the time, and then they have the
audacity to say where do all the good men go?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
It's like, well, you're driving us away.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
We don't want to date you because of how toxic
you really are, you know what I'm saying, Especially these
women that always silly standards. He used to be this,
he has to be that, he has to do this
and that, and then they bring nothing to the table.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
You know what I'm saying. It's like why you got
to be like that? You know? Or these women who
just like.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Just narts assist and there's the you know what I'm saying,
there's just they're toxically there are ways of like not
taking responsibility or accountability, or they just post like all
these hateful things about men thinking it's okay, and it's like,
I mean, i wouldn't go into more detail, but I'm
not attacking women, okay, like or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
But you know men men.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Are just as bad. You know what I'm saying is
that like nowadays, it's hard to find a good honest
person to be in a relationship with, or somebody who's
not gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Use the influence of like something to turn their back
on you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You know what I'm saying, Like, whether that's the Internet
or whether that's staying with these women they just wanna
bring down men all the time, or you know, say
we're not good enough. Or like you know, like say
like oh, here's like here's me celebrating taking a moment
in silence dream men's mental health months, like what's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You know?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Or just like these girls who are like, while you're
doing this, my or man or my or y, what
I'm getting? Guys are like it's there's so many different examples,
and you know, there's so many uh different ways of
how they can be like that.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But again men are the same way.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
So I mean, I don't know what's your like personal
thoughts on like, you know, like online dating. It's just
like how you know, the toxic effemininity on online can
be now and things like that, like like and I
know you see it all the time.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
It's like women there's not fair to guys online anymore,
and they think it's cute to post online like they're untouchable,
and it's like, no, you don't realize people are actually
coming back at you know, for being like that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
But anyway, what what's your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well, online dating to me doesn't exist, honestly, it doesn't.
There's no such thing as online dating. You know, I
really don't even have nothing to say about it, honestly, yo, really.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
Shouldn't exist it It shouldn't even be a thing. It shouldn't. Oh,
I just.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yeah, it's I don't know, it's just our.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
What you're getting is that you believe in the old school, like, hey,
I want to actually go somewhere and talk to you
and get to know you, yep, instead of and you
know what, Yeah, but then again, what are people gonna
argue back, Well, maybe you could get to know them
by talking on them on line a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
First, it's like, yeah, I get that, but come on,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Like me, my ex, for example, we didn't meet online dating.
We met on Facebook, right.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
So we technically kind of well.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
There wasn't an well we didn't know each other well,
but we went to like we went to school together,
but we didn't like talk or anything.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
Yeah, we just have mutual friends.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
And then I head her up one time on Facebook
and bam, there we are.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
So it's not really let me this way.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
When I say on dating, I mean, like I think
more the apps, you know what I'm saying, And well,
I mean Facebook is an app now, but back then
it was just a website. So well, okay, that's still online.
I don't know, Like I feel like Facebook's a little
bit different when it comes to that, because in a
way that not saying people don't meet on Facebook or
whatever don't have the bravery Like you know, she's just cute,
(09:13):
he's cute, like let me message him or her whatever.
But usually whenever you hear about online stuff is usually like.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
A dating app.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So I know you're just saying, so that's why I
felt a little bit more pure and things like that, right, yeah, yeah, man,
So we'll speaking of which and things like that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
So not to throw her.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Another bunch and things like that, but I know you
wanted to get some things off your chest. And you know,
remember I'm not a therapist, but as your friend, I'll
give you my best advice. So if you don't, if
you don't mind, and if you if I take things
too far, please stop me. But not to put blessed
me in her name. I'm not even gonna say her name.
I have to respect for you or anything like that,
but basically you aren't. You don't like her behavior in
(09:57):
the past.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
I do know that just like a lot of these.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
No offense these women I talked about, she accuses you
things we haven't done.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I don't know if she's still doing that. No, this
is past stuff, right.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
She used to accuse you things that you've been done.
She was finding the excuse to basically be verbally mentally
abusive to you. I don't know if she was ever physical,
and let's not let's not get any of that.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Because let's smell too much.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
She would use her kids, your kids against you. I
know she would do that. She would go out late
at night. You don't know who with or what she
was doing. She would she would cheat on you, let's
be honest. And you know this, there's rumors of her
maybe being pregnant with someone else's kin. You don't know
if that's true or not, and or if it's even
you know, his or or whatever. And she's using that
(10:50):
against you, and she's kind of throwing that back in
your face. And that's not fair, and again that's not right.
But you love her, so me saying all this is not.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Out of disrespect. As you know in the past, I've said,
you know, try to forget about her.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
Move on.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
She's not good for you.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
But the thing is that you're you, and I can't
change you. And you know what, and and I respect
that in a way because when you really love someone,
then I'm sorry, I can't. I can't fight that.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I can't. I can't change.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I can't I can tell you to do all these
different things. You know what, at the end of the day,
you're gonna be you. And I'm not one of those
people that finds that disrespectful as long as you're willing
to at least listen to what I have to say
and at least take some thought into it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And then only if that's the way. I don't want
to be your decision maker. I'm not you. I'm not
your dad.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
I'm not I'm not telling you what to do, and
I'm not when it's the influence, I I mean influence,
like in a in a bad way, like hey, I'm
trying to influence you come to me and not not
like that, no influences and like maybe in the middle
of something you might be like, hey, you know what,
Kobe said this to me and it got me thinking
maybe I shouldn't do this or whatever, and that's done.
(12:07):
That's not just a real relationship with her. I'm talking
about anything in life, you know what I'm saying. What's
been an what I'm saying is that you know, it's
just she was this is my opinion, she and I
don't know what she's doing now, but she has very narcissistic,
very toxic behavior. And I just I didn't like how
(12:27):
she had this like childish almost middle school like not
even I mean anyway like mentality and like it was
okay and like and like she wasn't doing anything wrong
and doing everything she could to push it back in
your face, and like it just it hurt me to
see that happening to you as my friend.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And you know, I and I and I then I.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Told you what to do, but again like you're you're
gonna do your own thing, and again I can't. I
can't stop you from doing what you want to do.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
And but uh, I mean, le let let's talk about it, like,
w do you what do you wanna ask me? Like
what's like? What What's something I can help you out with?
Or I can give you advice on her? My my best.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Opinion, Well, I mean.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Sometimes I feel like I just need more time to
sell myself down and figure things out yeh more thoroughly
before I even decide what I wanna do with her.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Everything yeah, okay, I don't know. So I've been given
some thoughts.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
I I've been.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
Been giving the thoughts past couple.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Of days, weeks, or even months to be honest, just
about like trying to figure out how they sort things out,
how to come up with life key solutions to fix problems. Yeah,
I mean, oh no, I'm just still putting a lot
(14:02):
of thoughts into what I feel like needs to be done.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So, like, give me an example of, like what you
feel like you're doing to better your life or better
try to better your life before you try to better
your regre your relationship with her, even though that she
is still in the back of your head, Like what
are something or what are some steps you've taken in
your life to better yourself?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
And you know, well, I I've I've gotten rid of
certain people from my life. Yeah that's caused issues or
or I.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Can already name one of them, but I'm not going
to yea quite a few of them.
Speaker 5 (14:37):
Yeah, that's one thing I've done.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
The other thing I've done is try to focus more
solely on working school itself. The better myself and the
better my income and career. Trying to better myself with
with a better community and better lifestyle and be able
to to have more improvement, more more and more improvement
(15:05):
in uh, with my.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
With my.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
I don't know my social life or I don't know.
Speaker 5 (15:20):
I just.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So like when you say your social life, do you
mean as then you're trying to go out and meet
new friends or just like being more social versus like
you know, hanging out or just working and then coming
here all the time.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Yeah, just working or working and going not going out,
but just like hanging out with like work friends or
or coming here and helping out here. Maybe I don't know,
go on some runs, work out some more, be able
to have a more active lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
In my opinion, I think the most detrimental thing anyone
can do to themselves, especially mentally, is to not take breaks,
is to not take time off as to that, because
the thing is that, like you know, life sucks sometimes
it can be really hard, and like if you don't
know what.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
If you don't take time to yourself, you're gonna go crazy.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Let me ask you something you said you're not next
or anything.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
Let's say in.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Your spouse or X whatever are having problems and stuff, right,
and it's been weeks and months without you know, being
together or steparate and stuff, and you want to reach
out to her and stuff, or sometimes she reaches out
to you and stuff.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Or well no not huh.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Let me find a better way to rephrase what is
a sign? So let's say you reach out to your ex. Okay,
you're married, you would know. Okay, so you're married. Let's
say you and your wife are being the force. I
hope that never happens. Sometimes I wish that it doesn't
(17:05):
have Well, technically I am still legally married, but but
you're separated, which I'm trying to fix this Actually my marriage,
I would prefer staying married to one and the same
person only anyways. So so my question roles gating that
is that let's say you and your wife having issues problems, right,
(17:30):
you guys are separated. You know, you guys got kids
together of course obviously just like me and me and
mine do. Let's say you reach out to your wife
or your your your whatever you reach out. Do you
want to talk and stuff like, let's say you reach
(17:53):
out about like trying to talk about stuff that's not romance.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Related or whatever.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Right, sure they respond, but then they uh, they like
not bring up the past but like I want to
like talk to you about like, mm, what is a
(18:22):
sign that that you and your your ex spouse are
still communicating? Wishing you too are still happy to get
or you too uh uh wish things bad things have
not happened in the past, and stuff like that, or
like or let's say you wish you could try to
(18:43):
fix things with with her and then she uh she
has a lot of trust issues at that point and stuff,
but she's still uh communicating with you or or or
or I don't just like, I don't know what would
you see that as as cling.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
So whatever good question.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I would watch her her her actions as as to
what she does, like like judge judging Like they say,
don't judge her actions, but judge her character.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Okay, but you can judge her actions too.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I mean, her her actions might show you her true character,
her true colors.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Is to see who she is.
Speaker 5 (19:29):
Starts slow about this.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Let mean, what is a sign that that she was
still want to be with you or wants to or
still has.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
So here's where here's where.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Here's this is leading into whether it's text or calling,
her tone of voice, is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
She's talking sweet or is she being mean?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Is she does she yelling or she being or she's
being helpful, and you can you know her.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I don't know her, But what I'm saying is that.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Her tone of voice, the way that she's talk talking
to you, and the.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Her body language.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
If you see her her person, pay attention to her
body language, facial expression, all that, like like you know,
you know her body language better than I do, obviously,
and she's showing you like that body language of like
this is about to be a fight, you know, watch
out for that. You know, I would definitely say, uh,
(20:27):
if you want to go there, say hey, look, I
notice that you're still talking to me. I'm still talking
to you. I don't know what this means. I don't
know what this means. I don't know what this is going.
I know, thinking keeping things platonic or we're just I
don't even know if we're friends at this point, but
clearly we're in each other's lives and we have to
(20:48):
be because we have we have children together.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
So I'm just gonna be honest. And if you feel
like it.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Needs to get to this point you say, I'm being
honest with you, I know you're possibly what's so and so?
And I know you're possibly having a baby with so
and so, but whether whether you do or not, I am.
I have been thinking about you, and I do miss
you now.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I don't know what that means to you, and I
don't think this might turn it into anything, but I
just thought i would let you know how I'm feeling
before I might lose you to someone else. And I'm
just saying like that that might be a lot, but
you know, if it gets to that point that that's
what I would say, just like you know.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
And the thing is that you know, you're not saying.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I love you, You're not saying I need you, You're not
saying I want to get back together, but you just
say hey, you're saying, hey, I miss you and I
and I miss what we had. And I'm just letting
you know what I'm thinking about. You know what I'm
thinking about what we used to have. But I'm not
saying I want to get back together. But I just
thought I will let you know, like if there's any
type of possibility for this to maybe maybe be a
(21:53):
thing again, I'm letting you know how I'm feeling about
it now before I lose you to this guy that
you're with right now. So that's that's that would be
my best advice to say to you. But again, watch
out for her character, watch her tone, watch her body language, watch.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Out she talks to you.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
And even in text messages, you can tell like when
someone's mad, or when they're like being narcissistic or guest
like or even lying to you, like like nowadays, like
you know, we've been on our we've been on our
phones enough to where we can tell someone's tone just
but even text messages. You know, that's kind of scary
that we figured out how to do that as society,
but like it's probably a good thing. So that way
(22:33):
you really know like how they're feeling about things, you know.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, but don't jump the gum. Don't do that too soon.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Obviously, do it when you feel like you need to,
or like I said, do it if you feel like
she's actually giving to give you like the feedback kind
of like oh hey, I kind of want to see
where this is gonna go. But here's a thing. She
might make the first move she m she might apologize.
I don't know if she will or not, but from
(23:08):
what you've told me about her, and get no offense
she might not, but maybe even if she's in the wrong,
which she is a lot of the time from the past,
but it sounds like she might be getting better. I
don't know, dude, I don't know. Maybe apologize to her first,
even if you feel like you shouldn't. I mean, because
if you are really trying to maybe save save what's
(23:31):
going on, then maybe apologizing would be the best option first,
or should be like, hey, look, I'm sorry, and like
maybe they're going to details a still why you're sorry,
because I feel like you're saying sorry might just be enough.
Or who knows, maybe she's feeling in one of those
bad moves that she can get in. She might blow up,
but you say, no, you're not, because I know you're
(23:52):
just saying that, you know, you know, trying to you know,
mess with my head.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Or I don't know how she reacts.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But what I'm saying is like, maybe you just say sorry, man,
that that's that might be all it takes, unless that's
what you can only hope for, you know, And that's
that's my best advice. I mean, I just wish a
(24:22):
friend friend to a friend.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Okay, buddy the buddy, I just wish that.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
She didn't have such a bad tacit you because it
would be so much easier for me to say, go
for it. Yeah, but everybody, but as somebody who actually
gives a shit about you, I I every answer mean
wants to say, just but you have children with her,
you love her. I again, dude, I'm not I'm not
(24:46):
passing judgment. I'm not telling you what to do. Like
I'm I'm still gonna be a friend no matter what.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
I'm just saying, be be careful, man, Cause if even
if she's getting better, a girl like her and someone again,
know who has a toxic past like her, or everything
that she's put you through, that could flare up again.
Even if she shows you months years of like good behavior,
of not being that way, of not wanting to hurt you,
(25:12):
manipulate you, you know, just do everything that she she's done
in the past, they could turn a right back around.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
And and here's here's the thing. Like the first, lemme
go get a little more drink. But I I wanna
ask you, and then I want you to answer. I
don't know, what are you gonna do if you do
find out that she is pregnant?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
What that other guy did.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Well, uh that that's like I figure out too.
Speaker 6 (25:42):
Yeah, like, hell, the folks are back run back, so
(26:07):
like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Okay, here's a better question.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
What if she is or you know, and she does
wanna work things back out, even if it's she's finding
them with someone else's kid and she wants to keep it,
can you forgive her enough to say, you know what,
let's work on this, like like, are you really wanting
to possibly save your marriage that much?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Alright? I think that's a good question to ask.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Or a good way of putting things to do perspective, Yeah,
you know, yeah, well, I mean you gotta think about that,
like yeah, like w w like what's your thoughts?
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Like I don't know what i'd do about that though.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, okay, let me make it easier. What if she says,
I will one stop my behavior that had made things
difficult for us in the past and must stop doing
all you know, I wouln't want up go into detail,
but anyway, and she one hundred means it, and she
(27:16):
dispend together with you, and over time she really shows
that she's you know, changed, even knowing that she might
be pregnant or you should find out she is actually
pregnant with someone else's kid, But she's like giving herself
to you one hundred percent fully, How would you feel
about it?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Then? I think that's a better way of puting that.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
I mean, I would do it in a heartbeat, like
I would y mix everything in a heartbeat. But but
for the fact if you're gonna be pregnant, then that's
another issue.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Cause thee with the kid making feeling where that dad is,
and it's just it's yeah, it's just it's not in
my opinion, that's not good, you know, mentally on a
on a child, you know. Yeah, But then again, like
you know, what do I know? I've never been put
in that situation, so and I'm sorry that's happening to you.
(28:17):
I mean, are you even a hundred percent sure if
she is pregnant with those kids old another?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Or is it so kind of up in the air.
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
I think it's just fuck in the ear.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Now when she told you, like, was she kind of like, hey, Okay,
here's here's a bad question speaking of like tone and
body language and character and characteristics and just that she talked.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
When she told you, was it during a fight?
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Was she pushing it back in your face, like trying
to be a checked this out or is it more
of or was she more sincere, like hey, just to
let you know I might be pregning with someone else's
Like was it more of like a well.
Speaker 4 (28:55):
No, cause it was the text message, and I feel
like it was more of a pushback.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
See that's m Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
So even in the text message, like I said, like
when now nowadays we know how to read people's tone
even through text, right, So you're saying that and even
though if their texting form you could tell her tone
was like negative or yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
See yeah, so it seems like she might have been
pushing that back at you. And that's not I don't know, man,
see it again.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
But but now only does that too? It's the people
she hangs around with two that I don't trust.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Yeah, that's the other.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
Is she too?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I mean she's what about her age and she's going
out clubbing when she has kids?
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Yeah, your friends don't ye see as I'm saying they
don't have kids, they don't.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Like that's gotta be messed up.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, I don't know how to feel about that, man. Sorry,
Like here's the things I like, I mean I go
all with my friends. I mean, we're doing this, but
I mean I'm not drinking. I'm not you know, paring.
I'm not going nuts, you know, like when I'm saying
plus like I don't want to. I mean, like, I
mean sometimes I do shirt, like especially if it's like
(30:15):
a good wee can show with my friends in high school,
like we're doing something or whatever. I don't have any responsibilities,
but like, yeah, like I don't know, man, I just
I couldn't do that to my kid or my wife.
But that wouldn't it don't feel weird? Like okay, sweetie,
it's going out to the club, like what you know,
that would feel weird to me, But un pertually, I
don't know. Just look, I guess all I'm all like, okay,
(30:50):
well here, So my guess is that keep on thinking
about the things about the past that she did that
made you happy, that made that made you love her
in the first place, Like I said, the whole you know,
My question to you was like, is that why, I like,
you're still trying to hold on because you think there
(31:12):
might be some ounce of help because of the fact
that she's you know, she might be pregnant with someone
else's she's still talking to you.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
Well, I don't know, I mean, m I don't know.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
I just cause sometimes when we when we uh run
into each other in person, like we don't argue, we
don't find.
Speaker 5 (31:43):
You know, we just.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
I don't like what you've been up to this and that,
like so okay for example, yeah, for example.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Uh, yeah, that's a good example.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
For mom. Was a mother's day?
Speaker 5 (32:09):
No, what a holiday was it? Dang?
Speaker 3 (32:15):
I remember what?
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Scho what what what the occasion was? Oh it was
from my daughter's birthday.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
They wanted me to go with them to the mall
good were piercing for her. Good, I agree to it.
I agree to it.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
And then we were like walking around doing our shopping
and whatnot. After we got her piercing, we we went
to an all women's clothing store for her and then uh,
(32:55):
as we were inside and stuff, I mean she was
still hesitant, but not too hesitant about me like being there, yeah,
being there, touching her, putting my arm around her and stuff.
And then we went out to lunch. We were eating lunch,
(33:18):
saying thing. You know, we were pretty much being a
little physical with each other, or I was being more physical.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
With her, like holding her from behind, or yeah, in
occasionally maybe like brushing rum on hers or like yeah,
maybe not necessarily holding her hand, but like sticking their
fingers out, touching her fing fingers, like do you want
to hold hands or not? And she would kind of
pull away up the.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Sort of thing, oh no, not like not flirty, not flirty,
but like saying I'm I'm here right kind of like.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
Something like that.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Yeah, or I would like rub my fingers on her
back or whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Yeah, you're being sweet, you're being sincere, you were y,
you're being a f you're showing affections being a faction.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Then yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
So you know, it was one of those things of
where it's like you could help yourself because you felt
like where to leave one of them you weren't or
you wanted a couple.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Just being there with her and probably seeing how much.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
Fun she was having and all sh and all those
fun things her daughter's doing. I probably just brought back
memories of like, you know, happiness or like you know,
like like this could be us like as a couple.
Speaker 2 (34:33):
So it's like, you know, like oh, so let me
show you, like I I I get what you're saying,
I I get it. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
I mean some one of those things that were you know,
when I'm with my wife and my kid and I
see him running around playing having fun of being all
cute and everything, like I'll give her a hugging kids
or like you know, I'll just like smile and I'll
be like thank you for helping me like make him,
or like thank you for having him with me, cause
he's like he brings me so much joy.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
You know.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
She's like, yeah, me too, and say thanks for being
a and I'm like to him, I don't think you're
being a mom to him, So so I get it.
It's one of those things of where.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Seeing her run around, seeing her enjoy yourself, you love
that it made you happy, it gave you emotional feelings.
And because she happened to be there, because she's the
mother of your child, you couldn't help yourself like you
wanted to, right but like you, she's here. Let me
let me let her know that, Like this means a
lot to me that, like you know that we're not together,
(35:28):
I'm love with that we get to share this special
moment with our daughter. I wanted to, you know, so
let me show you a little bit of affection, even
thoughing that you might take it weird. I just want
to I get I get it, you couldn't. It's one
of those things of where it's just the emotions drove
the action of you to do that. And I think
(35:49):
the reason that she took it so well is because
she realized you're being sweet, you were being sincere, you
weren't being weird, or you did or you didn't push
you too far to where you're like, hey, let's be
a couple again. But like like I said, you're again,
you really here, know that you were there. It's like
I'm here if you you know, just like I I
you know what I'm saying by s like lemon know
you were there, like y y no, that makes you
(36:11):
know what I mean, that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
But yeah, man, it's just trying to think of what
else's advice I could give you.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
I mean, if my advice seemed to help a little bit,
or I mean, it doesn't make any sense, like yeah, yeah,
cause it's one of those things where you're like, again, yeah,
I can give you all the advice that I can
and try to help you out, but.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
You know, at the end of the day, you're gonna
do your thing.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
You know, I do appreciate you listening, and I appreciate
you like actually trying to, you know, see what I
had to say, you know, cause Hugh Valouing, in my opinion,
means a lot, cause I'm just trying to help you
as your friend. You know, yeah, you know, but you
know I value your.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Opinion on what you have to say.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
You know, you like in the day, you're gonna try
to work things out with her, and that's perfectly fine,
But I'm just trying to help you with letting you know,
I just don't want to see you getting hurt at
the end, or you know, like I don't want.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Her to pull the wool over you as as they say,
or dupe you or you know, Oh, I don't know, man.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Just relationships are hard. They're funny, they're weird, they're love,
they're enjoyable. They're especially when you know you're not just
your situation, but any other situation that anyone is going through.
And I bet you anything anything we hear about all
the tipe people going through the same things that you
(37:53):
that you're going through right now, Like in a weird way,
you still love her even and that she was like
for being honest. Again, no offense to her. The main
problem cause her of your all's issues. But there's just
be because if you remember her past and who she
used to be and that's and you know, you know
the wonderful person that she can be, and because you
(38:15):
love that about her, it makes you want to try
to hold onto that, right, Yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
I get it. It's just.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I just don't want her to hurt you so bad
in the end, like you just give up or you know,
or what I'm getting is that like even if it
doesn't work out with you, to try to don't try
to be there for your kids obviously, you know what
I'm saying, Like doesn't make any sense, Like if it
(38:48):
doesn't work out with you too, be there for your
kids no matter what.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Cause I mean, they need you obviously, And yeah, they
need your influence. They need you to be their dad.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
They needs you to be their world modeled, their hero there,
you know, their their gui, their guide or their then there.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
They need your guidance. I think I said that, but
you you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
So even if she gives up a new D y D,
you need to say to her, well, I'm not giving
up on our kids, Like, sorry, that's not gonna happen. Like, don't, like,
don't even let her give you the option to do that.
You know what I'm saying, Cause wouldn't be fair to
them at all, You know what I'm saying. But yeah, man,
anything else or any other.
Speaker 4 (39:26):
Other advice, sir, I'm tryna think honestly.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Or any questions like leatship wise, Uh, you don't know. Okay,
I have one for you that's actually a good one.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
What if you find a woman who has everything you're
looking for.
Speaker 1 (39:48):
Yeah, she likes you, she's not toxic, she's not a backstabber,
and you can tell she'd be really good for you,
Like she'd be able to a person, and she accepts.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
The fact that you have children with another woman. And
as soon as she meets your kids, she's all over them.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
She's motherless, she's loving, she's like, oh my gosh, I
love you kids, and like your kids are like all
over her, loving her to death, Like.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
How would that.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Hands respective on her? On on your ex even know
that you're still still trying to work things out with her.
But if you meet a woman who's like who checks
off all the boxes for you. You know what I'm saying,
Will that be harder for them to you know?
Speaker 5 (40:37):
I mean no, not really. I'd probably take it, Ashley,
I'll take that offer.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But for now you're just trying to Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Yeah, Now, you wouldn't take it out of like vengeance
to be mean to your ex or anything like that.
Just like, no, you would do it because it would
you know, you might feel right, you know, you might
be like, it's about time I met someone who's like gonna,
(41:13):
you know, treat me a writer.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
You know, Yeah, I don't know, man.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Like, all I'm saying in the end is that if
she's gotten better good and you can tell you if
she has or hasn't, it doesn't matter to me. Yeah,
But what I'm saying is that I just I just
didn't like the way that she treated you in the past,
and she's still doing that behind closed doors. Then you
(41:40):
don't have to you don't have to tell me because
I don't want to me put this away. I'll help
you out or whatever. But you know, I'm your buddy,
but I don't really be a part of the drama.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
But you know, if you want my advice, I'll give
you my advice. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yeah, you know, just like I respect you, like I
don't tell you about my fights I have with my
wife or you know, like or issues that I have
with like at at work whatever, because it wouldn't be
fair of me to that to you as your friend,
to bring all that mental anguish towards you.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
That's that's not fair.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
But I'll you know, I've asked you for your advice
on this before and I've been like, hey, when it
comes to security on this, like what do you feel
about this? And we're like, oh, well, this would this
is the protocol for this, the procedure for the like
oh yeah, like don't think that like you know, I'll
you know, or like when we talk about work stuff,
you know, like our on my podcast, or it's not
like even if it's like a little bit negative, we
(42:29):
find a light light way of saying it or like
making it fun or like we're not we're not trying
to come down on people or you know, like you
get where I'm going to that.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
But yeah, excuse me.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
I don't know, man, I mean I know, but I
don't know. So, like I said, listen to end things
off and plus it's eleven thirty. We've been talking about
forty minutes and that's pretty good long enough podcast. But
to the listeners, listeners out there, to everyone and my buddy,
you're like, what I'm saying is that, don't don't be mean,
(43:06):
don't use things against your exes, don't use things against
your significant others. Try to love one another, be fair
to one another, compromise, you know, say sorry, apologize, don't
be narcissistic, don't guess light, don't attack the other person.
Don't do things on social media online, don't don't post
things attacking the other person that you're with, because you
(43:27):
know that's just gonna get you nowhere, be a mature adult,
sit down, have a real conversation, and try to work
things out like civilized people. And if in the end
you realize it's not gonna work out as much as
it might hurt, even if you have children together, maybe
in the end it's best that you realize that this
(43:47):
isn't gonna work. But if you feel like there's any
ounce of it, then try to do what you can
to fight for it. But even if it takes time
and you have to do slowly, then do slowly. Anyway,
that's all they really have to say before I do
things out brandon any of the things you have to
say or want to anything you want to say or
ask me about any I'm sorry, I'm getting tired out.
(44:09):
Any last second questions or any advice.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Or anything like that, or I don't think I do.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Okay, wit Man appreciated me on this podcast with me again,
I think we veryly lately talked about your ex without
saying too much short ever, but you know, and I
appreciate you let me express how I feel about her
and the things that she's done to you. But if
you know, I didn't attack her because I'm not I'm
not the kind of person. But it's like, you know,
I didn't say she's a blah blah blah, didn't name call.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
I didn't, but I'm but I'm like, well, she does
this and it bothers me.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Let's see, you like, I try to be respectful because
you're my friend and I and I don't want to
be You get what I'm saying anyway, But I guess that's.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
A little good little way to end things off. On advice,
people tell your friends how you really feel about them.
But doing a nice kind of way to where its
non offensive.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Anyway, everybody, thank you all so much for listening and
tuning into this podcast.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I really appreciate it. I love you all.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
This has been compency capsulic, trust it much smiles a
lot again with Brandy Gachard Slash at Aviation Expert three
and four. This has been another less to talk me
to LLS audio podcast. And if you need again, just
like I said in my our martial arts or non
keep saying that in our boxing demonstration video, uh, if
you need twenty percent off your next purchase for your
(45:28):
mixed martial arts gear at HKA USA dot com, please
use my coupon code Coburn ccap shots. My whole name
all capitalized, all altogether, no spaces. Anyway, Thank you all
so much for listening and tuning into this podcast, and
we'll see you next time.
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