June 3, 2025 • 7 mins
In this first episode of Lies My Ego Told Me, Cathyrine “Lilo” Armandie exposes the biggest lie she believed: that she could “have it all.” As a combat veteran, mother, and recovering high achiever, she shares her unfiltered story of ambition, burnout, and the moment she realized her ego was calling the shots. With sharp wit and hard-won wisdom, Lilo invites you to confront your own ego and embrace the truth beneath the chaos. Take a deep breath, don your oxygen mask, and join her for a journey from breakdown to breakthrough.
In this episode:
In this episode:
- Introduction to Lilo’s personal journey and mental health
- Definition and impact of ego—both positive and negative
- The “having it all” lie and its effect on personal identity
- Lilo’s military and aviation background
- The intersection of professional ambition and motherhood
- The challenges of work-life balance and the toxic myth of having it all
- Burnout and the breaking point
- The role of mental health and seeking help
- Redefining success on personal terms
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
My name is Lilo Armande and my ego is a liar.
(00:05):
And guess what? Yours is too.
Ego. One little word, three little letters,
but it carries a weight that can shape everything.
How we work, how we lead, how we love, and how we see ourselves.
So what is ego and how does it influence the way you navigate life?
Your choice is your biases and ultimately who you are.
(00:27):
When we think about the word ego, it usually has a negative association
like popus or arrogant.
But ego is also good.
It's the driving force for our ambition controls our higher level thinking.
My ego is what drove me and it drove me exactly to where I am today.
When I graduated from college, I went straight into the Air Force.
(00:49):
And within a few weeks, I moved across the country to start flight school.
I was excited and terrified, but I was ready to live my best life,
travel the world, and most importantly have an exciting career.
So that's what I did.
I became an officer and a professional aviator eventually moving to England.
I flew combat missions in the greatest fighter jet.
I got a passport full of stamps and I lived in adventure.
(01:12):
All the while, I worked and I worked and into my 30s, the work never stopped.
But I was raised to be an independent, high achieving,
unapologetically type a person so it never bothered me.
I set lofty goals.
I broke through barriers and always strived to be at the top of my game
while living a fast-paced life and I loved it.
But then, after I turned 35, I finally became a mother.
(01:37):
And that was a game changer because as I was being catapulted professionally,
while supporting my husband in the pursuit of his second career,
at the same time, we were also trying to keep two tiny humans alive.
It was like a roundhouse kick to the face because motherhood
is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
(01:57):
So needless to say, in the midst of navigating parenting
and becoming the commander to over 600 people, I really started to suffer.
Like a slow leak, it was undetected at first and then I completely ignored it for a long time.
But it finally came to the point where any semblance of my former self was just completely gone.
(02:18):
This was not what I had in mind when I thought I could have it all.
And what I learned is work-life balance is bullshit.
And having it all is a toxic myth.
There, I said it.
For the last 20 years, I pushed myself past my limits.
I worked constantly, accepted more responsibility than I should have
(02:38):
and became addicted to achievement.
I was a junkie for success.
And that high was what I chased for a long time.
But it got me accolades recognition and it gave me this insatiable feeling of satisfaction.
I could not admit it then, but it fed my ego and it felt you for it.
Until it didn't, because one day after months of being in full afterburner,
(03:01):
I flamed out and crashed.
For the first time, I finally let myself feel the pain because I couldn't ignore it anymore.
As a navigator, you're taught early on to recognize the signs of hypoxia at high altitudes.
The higher you fly, the harder it is to get the oxygen you need.
And the more the decrease in pressure negatively affects your mental and physical state.
(03:24):
Fun fact, one of the first cues you can have when deprived of oxygen is you start to feel you for it.
All you have to do to alleviate symptoms and prevent a potential fatality is to put on your oxygen mask and descend.
If you don't recognize the signs of deprivation and take action,
and you continue exposing yourself to danger,
(03:46):
even intervention from others may not be enough to convince you to save yourself.
In reality, all of those highs I felt from my work, they weren't feelings of euphoria.
They were the not-so-settle signs of my body telling me that I was slowly killing myself,
and I refused to acknowledge any of the cues.
I'm beyond grateful for the people who were there for me when I hit my rock bottom.
(04:07):
And for the day when one of my closest colleagues took me by the hand and walked me over to our mental health services,
so that I could finally get the help I needed and deserved.
That was the day I started to let it all go.
I let the weight of expectation drop from my shoulders.
The burden of success fall away and finally admitted that I am tired and I don't want to be like this anymore.
(04:29):
The lesson learned was that I needed to put myself first, like every airline safety briefing they always say.
Don your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
Putting my mask on to get the restorative help I needed made me a better person, a better partner, and a better mother.
I could finally laugh with my kids again, which is something I desperately missed.
(04:50):
I left Command successfully in 2023 and I was offered my dream opportunity with a guaranteed promotion for the following summer.
I decided to take the time off to gain clarity to make a decision about our family's future.
That time away made me realize that I was done, and they could dangle all the carrots in the world in front of me,
and it wouldn't matter anymore because I didn't like carrots anyway.
(05:13):
It was time to close this chapter and move on.
Advancing in my career was simply outweighed by the sacrifices my family would have to make,
and I wasn't willing to have success come at the cost of them or my own health any longer.
So now it's 2025.
I'm 42 years old, an officially a retiree.
I'm not going to lie.
At first, this caused me sheer panic because I've never not worked.
(05:36):
Don't get me wrong, I know this is a very privileged position to be in, and it's not lost on me how fortunate we are to have that kind of security.
But is that what I'm supposed to do now?
Become a kept woman?
Never in my life did I think I would stop working to let someone else support me.
It kind of sounds like a dream come true.
So why do I feel like this is a bruise to my ego?
(05:57):
It shouldn't be.
Taking a step back is giving me the opportunity to redefine what success can be,
and how I want to shape my next career should I choose to even have one?
The comedian, Ali Wong said, "I don't want to lean in. I just want to lie down.
So I'm going to embrace this new season of my life."
Because let's be real here, I could use a monthly Pilates pass in SomoZempic.
(06:21):
So let me get on my Lululemon pants, grab my Stanley Cup, and buckle myself into my SUV,
so I can transition myself from the fast lane to the drop off lane.
Current relationship status with my ego.
It's complicated, but I'm figuring it out.
Join me on my new podcast, Lies My Ego Told Me,
where we uncover the lies we tell ourselves and seek the truths that live just beneath.
(06:45):
I'll sit down with high performers, change makers, deep thinkers, and everyday people
who've hit walls, face themselves, their lies, and came out better on the other side.
Because before there's clarity, there's chaos. Let's navigate it together.
So don your oxygen mask and take a deep breath.
Welcome to the first season of Lies My Ego Told Me.
My name is Lilo Armande and my ego is a liar.
(00:05):
And guess what? Yours is too.
Ego. One little word, three little letters,
but it carries a weight that can shape everything.
How we work, how we lead, how we love, and how we see ourselves.
So what is ego and how does it influence the way you navigate life?
Your choice is your biases and ultimately who you are.
(00:27):
When we think about the word ego, it usually has a negative association
like popus or arrogant.
But ego is also good.
It's the driving force for our ambition controls our higher level thinking.
My ego is what drove me and it drove me exactly to where I am today.
When I graduated from college, I went straight into the Air Force.
(00:49):
And within a few weeks, I moved across the country to start flight school.
I was excited and terrified, but I was ready to live my best life,
travel the world, and most importantly have an exciting career.
So that's what I did.
I became an officer and a professional aviator eventually moving to England.
I flew combat missions in the greatest fighter jet.
I got a passport full of stamps and I lived in adventure.
(01:12):
All the while, I worked and I worked and into my 30s, the work never stopped.
But I was raised to be an independent, high achieving,
unapologetically type a person so it never bothered me.
I set lofty goals.
I broke through barriers and always strived to be at the top of my game
while living a fast-paced life and I loved it.
But then, after I turned 35, I finally became a mother.
(01:37):
And that was a game changer because as I was being catapulted professionally,
while supporting my husband in the pursuit of his second career,
at the same time, we were also trying to keep two tiny humans alive.
It was like a roundhouse kick to the face because motherhood
is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
(01:57):
So needless to say, in the midst of navigating parenting
and becoming the commander to over 600 people, I really started to suffer.
Like a slow leak, it was undetected at first and then I completely ignored it for a long time.
But it finally came to the point where any semblance of my former self was just completely gone.
(02:18):
This was not what I had in mind when I thought I could have it all.
And what I learned is work-life balance is bullshit.
And having it all is a toxic myth.
There, I said it.
For the last 20 years, I pushed myself past my limits.
I worked constantly, accepted more responsibility than I should have
(02:38):
and became addicted to achievement.
I was a junkie for success.
And that high was what I chased for a long time.
But it got me accolades recognition and it gave me this insatiable feeling of satisfaction.
I could not admit it then, but it fed my ego and it felt you for it.
Until it didn't, because one day after months of being in full afterburner,
(03:01):
I flamed out and crashed.
For the first time, I finally let myself feel the pain because I couldn't ignore it anymore.
As a navigator, you're taught early on to recognize the signs of hypoxia at high altitudes.
The higher you fly, the harder it is to get the oxygen you need.
And the more the decrease in pressure negatively affects your mental and physical state.
(03:24):
Fun fact, one of the first cues you can have when deprived of oxygen is you start to feel you for it.
All you have to do to alleviate symptoms and prevent a potential fatality is to put on your oxygen mask and descend.
If you don't recognize the signs of deprivation and take action,
and you continue exposing yourself to danger,
(03:46):
even intervention from others may not be enough to convince you to save yourself.
In reality, all of those highs I felt from my work, they weren't feelings of euphoria.
They were the not-so-settle signs of my body telling me that I was slowly killing myself,
and I refused to acknowledge any of the cues.
I'm beyond grateful for the people who were there for me when I hit my rock bottom.
(04:07):
And for the day when one of my closest colleagues took me by the hand and walked me over to our mental health services,
so that I could finally get the help I needed and deserved.
That was the day I started to let it all go.
I let the weight of expectation drop from my shoulders.
The burden of success fall away and finally admitted that I am tired and I don't want to be like this anymore.
(04:29):
The lesson learned was that I needed to put myself first, like every airline safety briefing they always say.
Don your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
Putting my mask on to get the restorative help I needed made me a better person, a better partner, and a better mother.
I could finally laugh with my kids again, which is something I desperately missed.
(04:50):
I left Command successfully in 2023 and I was offered my dream opportunity with a guaranteed promotion for the following summer.
I decided to take the time off to gain clarity to make a decision about our family's future.
That time away made me realize that I was done, and they could dangle all the carrots in the world in front of me,
and it wouldn't matter anymore because I didn't like carrots anyway.
(05:13):
It was time to close this chapter and move on.
Advancing in my career was simply outweighed by the sacrifices my family would have to make,
and I wasn't willing to have success come at the cost of them or my own health any longer.
So now it's 2025.
I'm 42 years old, an officially a retiree.
I'm not going to lie.
At first, this caused me sheer panic because I've never not worked.
(05:36):
Don't get me wrong, I know this is a very privileged position to be in, and it's not lost on me how fortunate we are to have that kind of security.
But is that what I'm supposed to do now?
Become a kept woman?
Never in my life did I think I would stop working to let someone else support me.
It kind of sounds like a dream come true.
So why do I feel like this is a bruise to my ego?
(05:57):
It shouldn't be.
Taking a step back is giving me the opportunity to redefine what success can be,
and how I want to shape my next career should I choose to even have one?
The comedian, Ali Wong said, "I don't want to lean in. I just want to lie down.
So I'm going to embrace this new season of my life."
Because let's be real here, I could use a monthly Pilates pass in SomoZempic.
(06:21):
So let me get on my Lululemon pants, grab my Stanley Cup, and buckle myself into my SUV,
so I can transition myself from the fast lane to the drop off lane.
Current relationship status with my ego.
It's complicated, but I'm figuring it out.
Join me on my new podcast, Lies My Ego Told Me,
where we uncover the lies we tell ourselves and seek the truths that live just beneath.
(06:45):
I'll sit down with high performers, change makers, deep thinkers, and everyday people
who've hit walls, face themselves, their lies, and came out better on the other side.
Because before there's clarity, there's chaos. Let's navigate it together.
So don your oxygen mask and take a deep breath.
Welcome to the first season of Lies My Ego Told Me.
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