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Section seven of the Life of Charlemagne. This is a
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The Life of Charlemagne by Knatger the Stammerer, translated by
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Arthur James Grant, Section seven, Book two, Part three. Now
Lewis King and Emperor of all Germany, of the provinces
of Retia and of Ancient Francia, of Saxony two and
of Thuringia, of the provinces of Pannonia, and of all
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northern nations. Was of large build and handsome. His eyes
sparkled like the stars. His voice was clear and manly.
His wisdom was quite out of the common, and he
added to it by constant applying his singularly acute intellect
to the study of the scriptures. He showed wonderful quickness, too,
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in anticipating or overcoming the plots of his enemies, in
bringing to an end the quarrels of his subjects, and
in procuring every kind of advantage for those who were
loyal to him. More even than his ancestors, he came
to be a terror to all the heathen that stood
round about his kingdom, And he deserved his good fortune,
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for he never defiled his tongue by condemning, nor his
hands by shedding Christian blood, except once only, and then
upon the most absolute necessity. But I dare not tell
that story until I see a little Lewis or a
Charles standing by your side. After that one slaughter, nothing
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could induce him to condemn any one to death. But
the measure of compulsion which he used against those who
were accused of disloyalty or plots, was merely this. He
deprived them of office, and no new circumstance, and no
length of time could then soften his heart so as
to restore them to the former rank. He surpassed all
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men in his zealous devotion to prayer, religious fasting, and
the care of the service of God. And like Saint Martin,
whatever he was doing, he prayed to God as though
he were face to face with him. On certain days
he abstained from flesh and all pleasant food. At the
time of litanies he used to follow the cross with
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unshod feet from his palace as far as the cathedral,
or if he were at Regensburg, as far as the
church of Saint Hemorhm. In other places he followed the
customs of those whom he was with. He built new
oratories of wonderful workmanship at Frankfort and Regensburg. In the
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latter place, as stones were wanting to complete the immense fabric,
he ordered the walls of the city to be pulled down,
and in certain holes in the wall they found bones
of men long dead, wrapped in so much gold that
not only did it serve to decorate the cathedral, but
also he was able to furnish certain books that were
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written on the subject with cases of the same material
nearly a finger thick. No clerk could stay with him,
or even come into his presence unless he were able
to read and chant. He despised monks who broke their vows,
and loved those who kept them. He was so full
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of sweet tempered mirth that if any one came to
him in a morose mood merely to see him in
exchange a few words with him sent the visitor away
with raised spirits. If anything evil or foolish was done
in his presence, or if it happened that he were
told of it, then a single glance of his eyes
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was enough to check everything. So that what is written
of the eternal judge who sees the hearts of men,
that is to say, a king that sitteth on the
throne of judgment scattereth away, all evil with his eyes
might be fairly said to have begun in him, beyond
what is usually granted to mortals. All this I have
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written by way of digression, hoping that if life lasts
and heaven is propitious, I may in time to come
right much more concerning him. But I must return to
my subject. While Charles was detained for a little at
x by the arrival of many visitors, and the hostility
of the unconquered Saxons, and the robbery and piracy of
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the Northmen and Moors, and while the war against the
Huns was being conducted by his son Pippin, the barbarous
nations of the North attacked Noricumbe and eastern frank England
and ravaged a great part of it. When he heard
of this, he humiliated them in his own person, and
he gave orders that all the boys and children of
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the invaders should be measured with the sword, and if
any one exceeded that measurement, he should be shortened by
a head. This incident led to another much greater and
more important. For when your imperial majesties most holy Grandfather
departed from life, certain giants, like to those whose scripture
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tells us, were begotten by the sons of Seth from
the daughters of Cain, blown up with the spirit of pride,
and doubtless like to those who said, what part have
we in David and what inheritance in the son of
He saw these mighty men, I say, despised the most
worthy children of Charles, and each tribes who sees for
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himself the command in the kingdom and themselves to wear
the crown. Then some of the middle class were moved,
by the inspiration of God to declare that, as the
renowned Emperor Charles had once measured the enemies of Christianity
with the sword, so as long as any of his
progeny could be found of the length of a sword,
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he must rule over the Franks and over all Germany too.
Thereupon that devilish group of conspirators was, as it were,
struck with a thunderbolt and scattered in all directions. But
after conquering the external foe, Charles was attacked at the
hands of his own people in a remarkable but unavailing plot,
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for on his return from the Slavs into his own kingdom,
he was nearly captured and put to death by his son,
whom a concubine had borne to him, and who had
been called by his mother by the ill omened name
of the most glorious Pippin. The plot was found out
in the following manner. This son of Charles had been
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plotting the death of the emperor with a gathering of
nobles in the Church of Saint Peter, and when their
debate was over, fearful of every shadow, he ordered search
to be made to see whether any one was hidden
in the corners or under the altar. And behold they found,
as they feared, a clerk hidden under the altar. They
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seized him and made him swear that he would not
reveal their conspiracy. To save his life. He dared not
refuse to take the oath which they dictated. But when
they were gone, he held his wicked oath of small account,
and at once hurried to the palace. With the greatest difficulty,
he passed through the seven bolted gates and coming at
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length to the Emperor's chamber, knocked upon the door. The
most vigilant Charles fell into a great astonishment as to
who it was that dared to disturb him at that
time time of night. He however, ordered the women who
followed in his train to wait upon the Queen and
the princesses to go out and see who was at
the door and what he wanted. When they went out
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and found the wretched creature, they bolted the door in
his face, and then, bursting with laughter and stuffing their
dresses into their mouths, they tried to hide themselves in
the corners of the apartments, But that most wise Emperor,
whose notice nothing under heaven could escape, asked straightly of
the women who it was and what he wanted. When
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he was told that it was a smooth faced, silly,
half mad knave dressed only in shirt and drawers, who
demanded an audience without delay, Charles ordered him to be admitted.
Then he fell at the Emperor's feet and showed all
that had happened. So all the conspirators, entirely unsuspicious of danger,
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were seized before the third hour of the day, and
most deservedly condemned to exile or some other form of punishment. Pippin, himself,
a dwarf and a hunchback, was cruelly scourged, tonsured, and
sent for some time as a punishment to the monastery
of Saint Gaul, the poorest it was judged, and the
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straightest in all the Emperor's broad dominions. A short time afterwards,
some of the Frankish nobles sought to do violence to
their king. Charles was well aware of their intentions, and
yet did not wish to destroy them, because if only
they were loyal, they might be a great protection to
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all Christian men. So he sent messengers to this Pippin
and asked him his advice in the matter. They found
him in the monastery garden, in the company of the
elder brothers, for the younger ones were detained by their work.
He was digging up nettles and other weeds with the hoe,
that the useful herbs might grow more vigorously. When they
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had explained to him the reason of their coming, he
sighed deeply from the very bottom of his heart, and
said in reply, if Charles thought my advice worth having,
he would not have treated me so harshly, I give
him no advice. Go tell him what you found me doing.
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They were afraid to go back to the dreaded Emperor
without a definite answer, and again and again asked him
what message they should convey to their lord. Then at
last he said, in anger, I will send him no
message except what I am doing. I am digging up
the useless growths in order that the valuable herbs may
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be able to develop more freely. So they went away sorrowfully,
thinking that they were bringing back a foolish answer. When
the Emperor asked them upon their arrival what answer they
were bringing, they answered so worrowfully that after all their
labor and long journeying, they could get no definite information
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at all. Then that most wise king asked them carefully
where they had found Pippin, what he was doing, and
what answer he had given them. And they said, we
found him sitting on a rustic seat, turning over the
vegetable garden with a hoe. When we told him the
cause of our journey, we could extract no other reply
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than this, even by the greatest entreaties. I give no
message except what I am doing. I am digging up
the useless growths in order that the valuable herbs may
be able to develop more freely. When he heard this,
the Emperor, not lacking in cunning and mighty in wisdom,
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rubbed his ears and blew out his nostrils, and said,
my good vassals, you have brought back a very reasonable answer. So,
while the messengers were fearing that they might be in
peril of their lives, Charles was able to divine the
real meaning of the words. He took all those plotters
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away from the land of the living, and so gave
to his loyal subjects room to grow and spread which
had previously been occupied by those unprofitable servants. One of
his enemies, who had chosen as his part of the
spoil of the empire, the highest hill in France, and
all that could be seen from it, was, by Charles's orders,
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hanged upon a high gallows on that very hill. But
he bade his bastard son Pippin, choose the manner of
life that most pleased him. Upon this permission being given him,
he chose a post in a monastery, then most noble,
but now destroyed. Who is there that does not know
the manner of its destruction? But I will not tell
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the story of its fall until I see your little
Bernard with a sword girt upon his thigh. The magnanimous
Charles was often angry because he was urged to go
out and fight against foreign nations, when one of his
nobles might have accomplished the task. I can prove this
from the action of one of my own neighbors. There
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was a man of Thurgau, of the name of Aischera, who,
as his name implies, was a great part of a
terrible army, and so tall that you might have thought
him sprung from the race of Annak, if they had
not lived so long ago and so far away. Whenever,
he came to the river Dura, and found it swollen
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and foaming with the torrents from the mountains, and could
not force his huge charger to enter the stream, though
stream I must not call it, but hardly melted ice.
Then he would seize the reins and force his horse
to swim through behind him, saying, nay, by Saint Gall,
you must, whether you like it or not. Well, this
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man followed the Emperor and mowed down the Bohemians and
Wiltzes and Avars as a man might mow down hay
and spitted them on his spear like birds. When he
came home, the sluggards asked him how he had got
on in the country of the Wynnades, and he, contemptuous
of some and angry with others, replied, why should I
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have been bothered with those tadpoles. I used sometimes to
spit seven or eight or nine of them on my spear,
and carry them about with me, squealing in their gibberish,
my Lord King, and I ought never to have been
asked to weary ourselves in fighting against worms like those. Now,
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about the same time that the Emperor was putting the
finishing touch to the war with the Huns, and had
received the surrender of the races that I have just mentioned,
the Northmen left their homes and disquieted greatly the Gauls
and the Franks. Then the unconquered Charles returned and tried
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to attack them by land in their own homes, by
a march through difficult and unknown country. But whether it
was that the providence of God prevented it in order that,
as the scripture says, he might make trial of Israel,
or whether it was that our sins stood in the
way all his efforts came to nothing. One night, to
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the serious discomfort of the whole army, it was calculated
that fifty yoke of Oxen, belonging to one abbey, had
died of a sudden disease. Afterwards, when Charles was making
a prolonged journey through his vast empire, Goatfrid, king of
the Northmen, encouraged by his absence, invaded the territory of
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the Frankish Kingdom and chose the district of the Moselle
for his home. But Goatfrid's own son, whose mother he
had just put away and taken to himself. A new wife,
caught him while he was pulling off his hawk from
a heron, and cut him through the middle with his sword. Then,
as happened of old, when Holophernes was slain, none of
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the Northmen dared trust any longer in his courage or
his arms, but all sought safety in flight. And thus
the Franks were freed without their own effort, that they
might not, after the fashion of Israel, boast themselves against God.
Then Charles, the unconquered and the Invincible, glorified God for
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his judgment, but complained bitterly that any of the Northmen
had escaped because of his absence. Ah woe is me.
He said that I was not thought worthy to see
my Christian hands dabbling in the blood of those dog
headed fiends. End of Section seven.