June 18, 2024 • 13 mins
I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna have fun. Vivir mi vida, la la la la!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Hey, y'all, Hey, y'all, Hey, y'all, it's your girl
Blue Blocks. How y'all doing,y'all good, y'all ate today, great,
fantastic, Welcome back to the lifealex So today I wanted to piggyback
off of the episode, well,the last episode, right, and I
named it I'm Pretty because of theTLC song because that's how like I was
(00:31):
making myself feel I'm pretty, AndI just wanted to make sure that y'all
knew that in twenty twenty four,I'm not sitting around thinking I'm ugly for
real, for real, Like Ikind of want to say I grew out
of it, but I also wantto say that I had to change how
I felt about myself within because theoutside isn't that important. Like I heard
(00:58):
this saying the other day that youcan stand in a room full of people
and the only person you can't seeis yourself, and so that's why somebody
invented the mirror, and I waslike, that's that's real true, Like
you can be in a room fullof people and the only person you can't
see is yourself, and so essentiallyeverybody's looking at you. However you are.
(01:19):
If that makes And so if you'renot comfortable with who you are on
the inside, it's gonna show onthe outside. And what does that mean
is like when you have your armscrossed, Like for me, that's what
that means. I got my armscrossed. I'm maybe trying to hide my
stomach or whatever, hold on myarms, like I'm just not sure that
(01:41):
I look my best if that makesBut when I am sure right because I've
taken care of me on the insidewho I really am, it doesn't matter
how you see me because on theinside, I feel like a million dollars,
Like I feel beautiful on the insidebecause you know, I have to
fill my own cup and sometimes that'shard to do, right if that's not
(02:05):
your normal. But for me,I had to make it my normal.
I had to make sure that youknow, if I got a lot of
stuff weighing on my head, likemy mind's running a million miles a second,
then it's gonna show on my face. And how y'all know, RBF
rest in bitch face, Like,yeah, it's not because you're just a
(02:27):
mean looking person. You're doing alot of heavy thinking and you know it
shows on your face. Like Idon't know that was never something that clicked
for me. You know, what'sin my mind shows on my face,
because you know, when you meetsomeone and I don't know people I don't
know. I never knew how peopleperceived me when they met me, versus
(02:50):
who I am once they get toknow me. Because I'm easy to get
along with. I feel like,or at least I try to be.
I wasn't in the past, butas I've grown older, like I'd rather
just be cool with everybody. I'mcool, You cool, We cool?
Okay, if I dip, youdip, we dip. If you want
(03:10):
to get buked, I can getbuked too, right, But I ain't
trying to take it there. Somethingbe cool, so you be cool.
That's my approach, right, SoI have to just make sure that I'm
feeling cool on the inside. Thatway, I exude cool, relaxed,
calm, unproblematic, because when youwear your problems on your sleeve, it
(03:34):
shows because obviously you're upset. AndI guess just realizing that what we feel
inside expresses itself on the outside,just like what we eat, how we
you know, what we put inour bodies expresses itself on the outside.
I learned that. You know,when you have a lot of food sitting
(03:54):
in your body and you're not drinkinga lot of water to flush it out,
it's still just sitting in your body, and that like expresses itself with
acne, you know, bloating crazystuff. You can just have pounds and
pounds of decaying food in your stomach. That's wild. Anyhow, back to
(04:15):
self confidence, because I have tobuild myself confidence and I have to build
it every day, like it's notsomething I just wake up with. I
don't wake up feeling like all thatin a bag of chips. I have
to get myself there because if I'mnot there, trust me, you're gonna
hear about it. And I wouldrather not have to wear my problems on
my seats, like I said,because life is more than just the bad
(04:39):
moments, the problems the life.Okay, life is whooping everybody okay,
But you don't have to look likeit. Like you know, when people
say I don't look like what I'vebeen through, I try my best not
to, Like I don't want tolook like what I've been through because I
wouldn't look good And it doesn't matterto to me if you think I look
(05:01):
good or attractive or whatever. Itdon't matter nothing to me. Like,
as far as I'm concerned, Idon't care. I'm not trying to be
with you, Okay, I'm tryingto be with me and God, you
know, seeing what we got goingon here, and whoever's cool, we
can be cool. Like I trymy best to be more fun because all
my life, I've never really hada lot of fun. And I would
(05:25):
know that I was having fun sometimes, like because I would get a headache
from having too much fun. Butnow that I'm older, like I could
just have fun my head hurts.Their cyberprofen, right, but they don't
have to stop the fun. Likefun isn't drinking and going out unless you
want it to be, unless that'sfun for you, Like kudos. Okay,
(05:48):
when I was twenty five, I'mtwenty six now. So when I
was twenty five, I was justlike, you know what, I'm supposed
to be out partying, drinking,you know, having the time of my
life. But I've learned at twentysix that I can have the time of
my life in the house playing.Oh no, Like I don't have to
do what other people think it's fun, because that's them that think it's fun.
(06:12):
Sometimes it is fun. I meanI like to go out sometimes every
now and then, you know,shake a tail, fella. But there's
nothing wrong with that. When youbuild a pattern of doing things that you
don't exactly find fun but look funto other people, or it's just a
distraction, that's when you start havingproblems. Like when I was in college
(06:34):
before I left, well, whenI was at one my first college,
I went to right, I wasgoing to parties just because I knew I
could get in the door for oneand two, I thought it made me
look cool, like, oh,she's she goes to parties, She's she's
fun. But that didn't actually makeme fun. And so when the pandemic
(06:57):
hit and I had to you know, be in the house, partying was
kind of nonexistent for a while,and I think I went to like a
gathering with a friend and I justrealized, oh my, this is not
fun to just sit here and yelllike and drink and I know I'm not
home, and I had to getback home, and I drove here.
(07:17):
Some means I don't have to driveback, So I mean, I don't
want to drive back drunk or tipsy, or none of that and or not
drink, and then it's not funwhen you're sitting there watching other people drink
and have fun, and you can'tdo any of that because you have to
be responsible and not just you know, party by my damnself at the house
playing. You know, y'all,I'm an only child, and I grew
(07:40):
up having to play a lot ofboard game card games like I used to
play Oh No by myself sitting onmy bed, and I'll play like one
hand and then another. But Imean, I had to learn to just
have fun. Like when I'm playingwith other people, I'm not worried about
whether or not the rules I'm gonnamake the right move, Like, I'm
(08:03):
just here to have fun. It'sfun to whoop people's butt sometimes, and
it's fun to, you know,watch people whoop your butt in a surprisingly
way. Like we're just it's agame, like life is what you make
it. I'm not here to youknow, beat everybody, be the no
Wizard. But we're not talking aboutright now. We'll talking about self confidence
(08:26):
because I love any self contents.Like y'all, I went to the beach
the other day and I knew thatme getting my head underwater meant that my
eyebrows that I drew on in themorning, we're not gonna be there when
I got out of the work,because you know, I gotta get the
water my eye in my face.So we were taking pictures and I was
(08:48):
like, you know what, I'mnot gonna care. I'm taking pictures.
I'm having fun, like they'll looklike what it looks like, like the
camera's gonna take pictures of what it'sall. And then when I was looking
at the pictures, I was like, Oh, that's how I look when
I'm laughing, when I'm having fun. And whether other people like it or
not, it's not important. What'simportant to me is when I look at
those pictures, I knew I washaving fun, you know what I'm saying.
(09:11):
So whether I looked attractive or whatever, like all of that's subjective because
everybody's gonna think a different thing isattractive. But what's important to me is
am I attracting the energy I want? And I want to have fun?
Right Like, I've done enough crying, I've done enough stressing, I've done
(09:33):
enough whining complaining. I can complainall day, but not anymore. I
don't have time for that. Iwant to have fun. I want to
do what just feels like it's supposedto happen, like let things happen.
Like for example, one year incollege, fourth of July, right how
(09:54):
I thought the night was gonna godid not? Didn't go that way?
All right? So we were playinga board game, all right, and
somebody ended up having fireworks. Sowe went across the street to like an
empty tennis court. I on fireworksand as I'm just standing there and doing,
you know, the company strangers Ijust met that have fireworks. You
(10:18):
know, we're just out here havingfun, and I was just like,
this is what life is supposed tobe about moments like this, Like I'll
probably always remember that moment. Iwas just being like, who let us
out here? Who gave us fireworks? Who are these people with the fireworks?
I don't know these people, AndI'm having a ball laughing at them.
And we out here learning how tolike fireworks because apparently somebody didn't know
(10:43):
how to light the fireworks and shotit sideways and that was hilarious to watch.
But you know, I just hadto change our mindset and say,
you know what, who cares ifpeople think I'm ugly. I don't know
them people. I don't owe thempeople nothing. Whether I put on full
face and makeup, whether I'm fairfaced, whether I shave my armpists or
(11:05):
whether I don't, whether I shavemy legs or whether I don't, it
doesn't matter. I feel good onthe inside, and that's gonna express itself
on the outside, and it won'tmatter in the end, right, because
if you're worried about what I looklike and not what I'm doing, whether
I'm a good person, whether I'myou know, helping others, whether I'm
(11:26):
kind, If all of that goesout of the window just because you don't
like how I look, then thathas more to do with you than it
has to do with me. Becauseme, I'm gonna try my best to
be kind. I'm gonna try mybest to do the right thing, the
good thing, like that's stuff Ihave to work on within myself. You
(11:46):
can't make me do the right thing. You can't make me do anything right.
I used to tell people all thetime, I don't have to do
nothing but stay black and die.What does that mean? I don't know.
I heard somebody say it one time, and I just kept saying it
over and over. But as I'min my mid twenties now, it's so
funny to say I'm twenty six.Like the guy in the gas station today
(12:07):
asked me how old I was,and I said twenty six. I ain't
even think about it. And Iwas like, do I look like it?
And he was like no. Iwas like, thank you, I'll
take that as a compliment. Butanyway, as I'm in my mid twenties
and I'm thinking about, you knowthings I used to say like that statement,
I realized that, you know,I don't owe anybody anything. Nobody
(12:28):
can make me do the right thingor the wrong. That's something I have
to decide myself. And when youknow better, you do better. When
you don't know no better, youcan't use that as an excuse, point
plan period. But AnyWho, that'sall I just wanted to tell y'all today
because, like I said, Ididn't want to have y'all thinking that I
(12:48):
was still that same self conscious girl. Now we is litty like a titty
over here, I might stop saying, but oh well, uppings and shitdn't
grace y'all, And like I alwayssay, don't go fucking up nobody to
day. Just be easy Breeze,Beautiful cover Girl. Please Thugger Girl if
you will, Okay, or ThirderBoy or third of them. Just just
(13:11):
be cool, bro, Just becool anyhow. Bye,
Hey, y'all, Hey, y'all, Hey, y'all, it's your girl
Blue Blocks. How y'all doing,y'all good, y'all ate today, great,
fantastic, Welcome back to the lifealex So today I wanted to piggyback
off of the episode, well,the last episode, right, and I
named it I'm Pretty because of theTLC song because that's how like I was
(00:31):
making myself feel I'm pretty, AndI just wanted to make sure that y'all
knew that in twenty twenty four,I'm not sitting around thinking I'm ugly for
real, for real, Like Ikind of want to say I grew out
of it, but I also wantto say that I had to change how
I felt about myself within because theoutside isn't that important. Like I heard
(00:58):
this saying the other day that youcan stand in a room full of people
and the only person you can't seeis yourself, and so that's why somebody
invented the mirror, and I waslike, that's that's real true, Like
you can be in a room fullof people and the only person you can't
see is yourself, and so essentiallyeverybody's looking at you. However you are.
(01:19):
If that makes And so if you'renot comfortable with who you are on
the inside, it's gonna show onthe outside. And what does that mean
is like when you have your armscrossed, Like for me, that's what
that means. I got my armscrossed. I'm maybe trying to hide my
stomach or whatever, hold on myarms, like I'm just not sure that
(01:41):
I look my best if that makesBut when I am sure right because I've
taken care of me on the insidewho I really am, it doesn't matter
how you see me because on theinside, I feel like a million dollars,
Like I feel beautiful on the insidebecause you know, I have to
fill my own cup and sometimes that'shard to do, right if that's not
(02:05):
your normal. But for me,I had to make it my normal.
I had to make sure that youknow, if I got a lot of
stuff weighing on my head, likemy mind's running a million miles a second,
then it's gonna show on my face. And how y'all know, RBF
rest in bitch face, Like,yeah, it's not because you're just a
(02:27):
mean looking person. You're doing alot of heavy thinking and you know it
shows on your face. Like Idon't know that was never something that clicked
for me. You know, what'sin my mind shows on my face,
because you know, when you meetsomeone and I don't know people I don't
know. I never knew how peopleperceived me when they met me, versus
(02:50):
who I am once they get toknow me. Because I'm easy to get
along with. I feel like,or at least I try to be.
I wasn't in the past, butas I've grown older, like I'd rather
just be cool with everybody. I'mcool, You cool, We cool?
Okay, if I dip, youdip, we dip. If you want
(03:10):
to get buked, I can getbuked too, right, But I ain't
trying to take it there. Somethingbe cool, so you be cool.
That's my approach, right, SoI have to just make sure that I'm
feeling cool on the inside. Thatway, I exude cool, relaxed,
calm, unproblematic, because when youwear your problems on your sleeve, it
(03:34):
shows because obviously you're upset. AndI guess just realizing that what we feel
inside expresses itself on the outside,just like what we eat, how we
you know, what we put inour bodies expresses itself on the outside.
I learned that. You know,when you have a lot of food sitting
(03:54):
in your body and you're not drinkinga lot of water to flush it out,
it's still just sitting in your body, and that like expresses itself with
acne, you know, bloating crazystuff. You can just have pounds and
pounds of decaying food in your stomach. That's wild. Anyhow, back to
(04:15):
self confidence, because I have tobuild myself confidence and I have to build
it every day, like it's notsomething I just wake up with. I
don't wake up feeling like all thatin a bag of chips. I have
to get myself there because if I'mnot there, trust me, you're gonna
hear about it. And I wouldrather not have to wear my problems on
my seats, like I said,because life is more than just the bad
(04:39):
moments, the problems the life.Okay, life is whooping everybody okay,
But you don't have to look likeit. Like you know, when people
say I don't look like what I'vebeen through, I try my best not
to, Like I don't want tolook like what I've been through because I
wouldn't look good And it doesn't matterto to me if you think I look
(05:01):
good or attractive or whatever. Itdon't matter nothing to me. Like,
as far as I'm concerned, Idon't care. I'm not trying to be
with you, Okay, I'm tryingto be with me and God, you
know, seeing what we got goingon here, and whoever's cool, we
can be cool. Like I trymy best to be more fun because all
my life, I've never really hada lot of fun. And I would
(05:25):
know that I was having fun sometimes, like because I would get a headache
from having too much fun. Butnow that I'm older, like I could
just have fun my head hurts.Their cyberprofen, right, but they don't
have to stop the fun. Likefun isn't drinking and going out unless you
want it to be, unless that'sfun for you, Like kudos. Okay,
(05:48):
when I was twenty five, I'mtwenty six now. So when I
was twenty five, I was justlike, you know what, I'm supposed
to be out partying, drinking,you know, having the time of my
life. But I've learned at twentysix that I can have the time of
my life in the house playing.Oh no, Like I don't have to
do what other people think it's fun, because that's them that think it's fun.
(06:12):
Sometimes it is fun. I meanI like to go out sometimes every
now and then, you know,shake a tail, fella. But there's
nothing wrong with that. When youbuild a pattern of doing things that you
don't exactly find fun but look funto other people, or it's just a
distraction, that's when you start havingproblems. Like when I was in college
(06:34):
before I left, well, whenI was at one my first college,
I went to right, I wasgoing to parties just because I knew I
could get in the door for oneand two, I thought it made me
look cool, like, oh,she's she goes to parties, She's she's
fun. But that didn't actually makeme fun. And so when the pandemic
(06:57):
hit and I had to you know, be in the house, partying was
kind of nonexistent for a while,and I think I went to like a
gathering with a friend and I justrealized, oh my, this is not
fun to just sit here and yelllike and drink and I know I'm not
home, and I had to getback home, and I drove here.
(07:17):
Some means I don't have to driveback, So I mean, I don't
want to drive back drunk or tipsy, or none of that and or not
drink, and then it's not funwhen you're sitting there watching other people drink
and have fun, and you can'tdo any of that because you have to
be responsible and not just you know, party by my damnself at the house
playing. You know, y'all,I'm an only child, and I grew
(07:40):
up having to play a lot ofboard game card games like I used to
play Oh No by myself sitting onmy bed, and I'll play like one
hand and then another. But Imean, I had to learn to just
have fun. Like when I'm playingwith other people, I'm not worried about
whether or not the rules I'm gonnamake the right move, Like, I'm
(08:03):
just here to have fun. It'sfun to whoop people's butt sometimes, and
it's fun to, you know,watch people whoop your butt in a surprisingly
way. Like we're just it's agame, like life is what you make
it. I'm not here to youknow, beat everybody, be the no
Wizard. But we're not talking aboutright now. We'll talking about self confidence
(08:26):
because I love any self contents.Like y'all, I went to the beach
the other day and I knew thatme getting my head underwater meant that my
eyebrows that I drew on in themorning, we're not gonna be there when
I got out of the work,because you know, I gotta get the
water my eye in my face.So we were taking pictures and I was
(08:48):
like, you know what, I'mnot gonna care. I'm taking pictures.
I'm having fun, like they'll looklike what it looks like, like the
camera's gonna take pictures of what it'sall. And then when I was looking
at the pictures, I was like, Oh, that's how I look when
I'm laughing, when I'm having fun. And whether other people like it or
not, it's not important. What'simportant to me is when I look at
those pictures, I knew I washaving fun, you know what I'm saying.
(09:11):
So whether I looked attractive or whatever, like all of that's subjective because
everybody's gonna think a different thing isattractive. But what's important to me is
am I attracting the energy I want? And I want to have fun?
Right Like, I've done enough crying, I've done enough stressing, I've done
(09:33):
enough whining complaining. I can complainall day, but not anymore. I
don't have time for that. Iwant to have fun. I want to
do what just feels like it's supposedto happen, like let things happen.
Like for example, one year incollege, fourth of July, right how
(09:54):
I thought the night was gonna godid not? Didn't go that way?
All right? So we were playinga board game, all right, and
somebody ended up having fireworks. Sowe went across the street to like an
empty tennis court. I on fireworksand as I'm just standing there and doing,
you know, the company strangers Ijust met that have fireworks. You
(10:18):
know, we're just out here havingfun, and I was just like,
this is what life is supposed tobe about moments like this, Like I'll
probably always remember that moment. Iwas just being like, who let us
out here? Who gave us fireworks? Who are these people with the fireworks?
I don't know these people, AndI'm having a ball laughing at them.
And we out here learning how tolike fireworks because apparently somebody didn't know
(10:43):
how to light the fireworks and shotit sideways and that was hilarious to watch.
But you know, I just hadto change our mindset and say,
you know what, who cares ifpeople think I'm ugly. I don't know
them people. I don't owe thempeople nothing. Whether I put on full
face and makeup, whether I'm fairfaced, whether I shave my armpists or
(11:05):
whether I don't, whether I shavemy legs or whether I don't, it
doesn't matter. I feel good onthe inside, and that's gonna express itself
on the outside, and it won'tmatter in the end, right, because
if you're worried about what I looklike and not what I'm doing, whether
I'm a good person, whether I'myou know, helping others, whether I'm
(11:26):
kind, If all of that goesout of the window just because you don't
like how I look, then thathas more to do with you than it
has to do with me. Becauseme, I'm gonna try my best to
be kind. I'm gonna try mybest to do the right thing, the
good thing, like that's stuff Ihave to work on within myself. You
(11:46):
can't make me do the right thing. You can't make me do anything right.
I used to tell people all thetime, I don't have to do
nothing but stay black and die.What does that mean? I don't know.
I heard somebody say it one time, and I just kept saying it
over and over. But as I'min my mid twenties now, it's so
funny to say I'm twenty six.Like the guy in the gas station today
(12:07):
asked me how old I was,and I said twenty six. I ain't
even think about it. And Iwas like, do I look like it?
And he was like no. Iwas like, thank you, I'll
take that as a compliment. Butanyway, as I'm in my mid twenties
and I'm thinking about, you knowthings I used to say like that statement,
I realized that, you know,I don't owe anybody anything. Nobody
(12:28):
can make me do the right thingor the wrong. That's something I have
to decide myself. And when youknow better, you do better. When
you don't know no better, youcan't use that as an excuse, point
plan period. But AnyWho, that'sall I just wanted to tell y'all today
because, like I said, Ididn't want to have y'all thinking that I
(12:48):
was still that same self conscious girl. Now we is litty like a titty
over here, I might stop saying, but oh well, uppings and shitdn't
grace y'all, And like I alwayssay, don't go fucking up nobody to
day. Just be easy Breeze,Beautiful cover Girl. Please Thugger Girl if
you will, Okay, or ThirderBoy or third of them. Just just
(13:11):
be cool, bro, Just becool anyhow. Bye,
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