May 19, 2025 • 49 mins
What happens when a successful basketball coach loses everything - including his two young daughters? Randy Brown's powerful story of loss, addiction, and ultimate redemption will move you to tears and inspire hope. As a respected coach who trained NBA stars like Steve Kerr, Randy's life took a dramatic turn following the tragic death of his daughters, leading him down a path of destructive coping mechanisms and eventual incarceration.
Through faith, family support, and an unwavering determination to honor his daughters' memory, Randy emerged from his darkest moments with a renewed purpose. His journey from coaching basketball to becoming a beacon of hope for others facing similar struggles demonstrates the remarkable resilience of the human spirit.
Like a quilt that appears chaotic from the back but reveals a beautiful pattern on the front, Randy's story reminds us that our hardest moments can weave together to create something meaningful. His message about embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and finding purpose through pain offers valuable lessons for anyone facing life's challenges.
Don't miss this incredible story of transformation and hope. Tune in to hear Randy Brown's full journey from devastating loss to inspiring redemption.
Through faith, family support, and an unwavering determination to honor his daughters' memory, Randy emerged from his darkest moments with a renewed purpose. His journey from coaching basketball to becoming a beacon of hope for others facing similar struggles demonstrates the remarkable resilience of the human spirit.
Like a quilt that appears chaotic from the back but reveals a beautiful pattern on the front, Randy's story reminds us that our hardest moments can weave together to create something meaningful. His message about embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and finding purpose through pain offers valuable lessons for anyone facing life's challenges.
Don't miss this incredible story of transformation and hope. Tune in to hear Randy Brown's full journey from devastating loss to inspiring redemption.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What do you do when your secret life steps out
of bound to ruin your public life? How do you
rebound to make it right again? Welcome to another episode
of Life Jack to the Resilience podcast, where remarkable people
share their personal stories of adversity and triumph. Today, I
(00:22):
have a truly inspiring guest to Coach Randy Brown. Brandy
life has been an interesting mixture of family work, secret lives, music, basketball,
and an unwavering pursuit of excellence. With a master's degree
from the University of Arizona, Randy built a successful career
in coaching college basketball. However, his life took a tragic
(00:45):
turn when he suffered the loss of his two young daughters,
leading him down a path of addiction and ultimately serving
time in federal prisons. Despite these challenges, Randy has emerged stronger,
dedicating his life to helping you by sharing his story
and teaching the valuable lessons he has learned. Join us
as we explore Coach Randy's incredible journey of resilience and transformation.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Sometimes life gives us lemons, Sometimes it gives us lemonade.
Other Times it gives us something entirely out of left
field that makes us say w t F. But no
matter what obstacles come, there is most often a way
out on the other side, and we are once again victorious.
(01:38):
My name is doctor Rope, and you are listening to
my podcast about resilience. Every guest shares a tragedy to
triumph story to give listeners like you the inspiration to
push through every single day. Listen now as my next
guest shares how they were.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Like Jack, Hi, Randy, welcome. Thank you so much for
being a guest on my show.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
How are you.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Wonderful, Doctor Rowe.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
It's just excited to be here, a pleasure to be
in your company, and have been really excited about being
able to share some time with you here.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Oh that's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Now can you start my sharing What initially threw you
into a career in coaching college basketball and what was
that experience.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Like for you?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
There's nothing like it. I'll tell you.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
It started when I was a youngster because my father
was a sports writer, and so when I would go
to work with my dad, we went to the gym
and I got to watch them keep the scorebook and
interview players and coaches, and I just understood a lot
about the sport and a lot about a lot about
how important coaches were, how important communication with players. And
(02:53):
I saw hundreds of practices before I was probably ten
years old, and so the game itself was kind of
second nature to me.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And I learned at.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
A pretty young age that you not only could play
it when you're a youngster, but somebody had to coach
it too, and maybe when I grew older that I
could still be around basketball and be a coach. And
that's how kind of it all started. And I chose
one profession and that's what I did. I got very lucky,
but I traced it all back to my dad being
(03:28):
a sports writer. It was really the impetus.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Of it all.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's truly a blessing when you were able to pick
a career and it's one that you love, because most
of us we kind of stumble upon our career. We
kind of go to college, so whether we end up
doing something else. But you know, how lucky you're, right,
I mean, how lucky you are that you are able
to pick something that you love and enjoy, and that
(03:53):
you pick that as a career and you had some
success at it, you know, So that's that's remarkable. Remarkable
now very coorting, Yes, yes, for sure. Now, for those
who may not know, you have had well former players
go to the NBA, including twenty sixteen NBA Coach of
(04:14):
the Year Steve Kerr, who currently coaches the Golden State Warriors.
Did you see this in him him being coach Steve Kerr?
Did you see that in him that he was going
to be this phenomenal, you know, basketball player and then
ultimately championship winning coach when he was in college, Well.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I witnessed his sort of coming to be the great
college player. He led his team, the Arizona team the
year after I had left Arizona, that eighty eight team
went to the Final four, and coach loude Olsen came
to the Desert from Iowa and took that program over
and in short order they became very relevant in the
(04:54):
national colleens picture. Steve Perr was an interesting stuf as
a player, and I'll tell you he was one of
these that you would term coach on the floor. And
sometimes we're lucky enough to have one of our players
who sees the game close to the way the coach
would see the game. And that's invaluable because they're in
(05:16):
out there in the flow of the game, and the
game isn't like practice to where you can just stop
it and correct and say, well, think about doing this
and think about doing that. It's a free flow and
it's almost frustrating as a coach because you can't have
the control you have during practice. But when you have
a coach on the floor, he understood the game. He
(05:37):
saw things that coaches could see that I'm sure a
lot of his teammates couldn't see at the time because
they were just playing the game. But he played the game.
He also saw the game. We never talked about Steve
as being a coach or maybe being a great coach.
We just all really just valued what he brought to
(05:59):
the program. And you know, Steve sixty three and he's
but he's not. I mean, we had seven footers in
the program, and nobody took a back seat to Steve
Kerr because when he spoke, they really listened and took
him very steriously. So I guess what you could say
to answer the question is that I can certainly see
(06:19):
now why he is tremendously been tremendously successful based on
how he saw the game, and and the and the
kind of player and leader he was in college or
without a doubt, really proud of him, No.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Absolutely, And I know he carried that on, you know,
to play with the Bulls as well, and he just
seemed like he was just the teammate, you know, the
player that you would want on your team. He was
just you know, the great teammate you know, with with
Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. It just seemed like it
was really awesome. So you know that that is phenomenal,
and thank you for sharing that with me and the listeners.
(06:55):
That was shift gears a little bit and talk about
the unimaginable loss. I mean that is devastating for any parent,
and that is the passing of your daughters. Now, how
did that strategy, I mean, if you want to share
and go into detail, it totally a to you. But
(07:17):
how did that tragedy impact your life and career at
that particular time of it happening.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It affected my life personally tremendously. But doctor Rowe, I
have to tell you that I allowed it to impact
on a negative in a negative way.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I allowed it to impact me.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
There isn't a parent who hasn't lost a child whose
life has become different and in some cases tremendously different.
As I try to explain to people I can best,
I can best portray it like this, I just felt
like part of my soul was ripped out of me,
(08:00):
and it was the part of my soul that couldn't
be put back in that nothing could be made whole again.
And it's just a feeling like you're just not quite there.
How we deal with adversity, which is what I do
now with people, is really an interesting study. But when
(08:23):
life reaches up and takes something from us the unimaginable,
we're not prepared for it, because you don't prepare to
lose your children. And more specifically about what happened in
the case of our oldest daughter, I was an assistant
coach at Miami of Ohio in Oxford, Ohio, and went
(08:44):
to practice the day after her fourth birthday in November
of nineteen ninety two, and just like any other day
where she was four years old, and I went to
the dad went to practice and he'll be home later
and never got a chance to speak to her again.
You don't prepare for that, and so one of the
(09:06):
things I really like to I really like to talk
to people about is pairing, even though it may be hurtful.
But I think it's very valuable that we prepare for
the inevitability the things are going to happen in our lives.
Nobody's exempt from things happening, painful things happening, you know,
(09:30):
terrible things in our life.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
We can't.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Nobody's exempt from it. We've all faced it. We don't
know when it's coming. But I just implore people to
just fit and imagine if they could something really really
difficult occurring, the phone call in the middle of the night,
or someone comes to knocks on the door, and how
(09:55):
would they respond. I think it is very good work.
I think it's I'm well used because some things are
so difficult that, as we know, people just check out
of life. It's too much, it's too heavy, it's something
they don't feel like they can deal with. And that
doesn't need to be it really doesn't. I'm so fortunate
(10:18):
to be able to be standing on the other side
these adversities and to be able to be on with
you and utter these words. Actually, because doctor Rowe, I
was really close to one of the statistics, one of
the ones she said, I can't do it anymore, there's
no way now. When it happened with our second daughter,
(10:39):
I came as close as I think one could possibly
come to make a decision that they didn't want to
live on this.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Earth any longer. Those were dark, dark, dark times.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
But the first time it happened, we didn't know, We
had no idea, And just to give you just a
little background on it, we still don't know to this
day it was specifically that caused their children. We know
it was a rare disease. We know that that that
some things were out of balance them as they got thick,
(11:11):
they weren't able to handle like flu like symptoms and
sickness the way other kids do, and their their organs
were attacked, and and it's just and it was a
very rapid thing.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I mean, it was like in an hour.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
And so by the time my wife realized something was
dractfually wrong, rut her to our local hospital, which barely closed,
and they came and got me in practice and drove
me up to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
And I never got a chance to talk to our
oldest again.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
I talked to her, but I guess I'll never know
whether we heard me or not, but I just in vain,
I spoke to her and I just I pled with God,
please let this message get to my child, because I'm
never going to be able to never going to be
able to talk to her again and spend the rest
of my life with her. And it's just I can't
(12:05):
even you know, I can't even really other than there's
just this huge hole, just a giant hole. And I
know this though, that if you have any of these
three f's I call it the three f's, your faith,
your family, and your friends. If you have any semblance
(12:25):
of those three, you have a chance. But if you're
within an airshot of listening to this, please don't try
to knuckle it up and do it on your own,
because this is not something to do on your own.
It's not it's too heavy. There are too many unanswered questions,
and I got caught up in.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
The why, why why, and there were.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
No answers to my why, which I found out later
in a really pivotal day with my pastor, and that
really really helped me. But just would ask people that
if you don't know what to do, take a step back,
take a deep breath, and realize that there can be
help on the way in a second, and pick up
the phone and call someone. And I have found that
(13:13):
verbally describing what I'm going through and what has happened
really helps me with someone else. So it kind of
separates me from that instant pain and and you know,
just tremendous shock and to know that you've got someone
there and they don't need to say anything if they
can just come and they're it within your presence and
they put their arms around you and hug you and
(13:35):
tell you how much they love you, and they want
to help so bad and they can't, and it hurts
them too because they just see how difficult it is that.
I know I've thrown a lot of things at your question,
but it is such a I want to say, once
(13:56):
in a lifetime experience, and it wasn't for us. It
was repetitive, But there is a way through everything. I
do believe that, doctor Row. In fact, I believe the
adversity comes with a trampoline. If you decide to use
the trampoline, all adversity comes with the chance to continue
(14:20):
on with your life. And although things will never be
the way they used to be, they can still be
great and I'm a Christian, I truly and honestly and
know in my heart of hearts that I'm going to
see my girl in heaven. And that is such a
relief to me because I thought when they were gone,
(14:42):
they were gone, and physically they work on.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Today.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
As a matter of fact, on the day we're taping
this with you, is the twenty seventh anniversary of our
second daughter passing. Natalie Jean was on February second, and
a number of years ago nineteen eight.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
So I'm a little raw today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, But.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Now I appreciate you, know, you having the courage to
share because not only were you and your wife life
Jack wants you know, but through the passing of one
of your daughters, but twice through the passing of your
second daughter as well.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
And rest in paradise to Natalie Jean and your older
daughter Meredith. I think is what you said. He but
I can't agree with you.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
More faith, family, friends, You've got to have those threeps.
I love that you mentioned that, and we'll talk about
that a little bit later.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Now I want to.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Kind of go into the next thing is like you
said you would hit rock bottom and you just were,
like I just don't know if I can do this
life anymore. And that's understandable. And I know that there
have been several listeners out there that have also felt
the same way. But then you ended up spending two
years in prison. So how did that transpire?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Well, I had mentioned earlier that.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
That we you know, we all have choices.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
And when when our second daughter left us quickly on
the second of February in the nineteen ninety eight, I
found nothing but darkness. And I remember going to bed
and hoping that I could sleep, and never wanting to
(16:33):
wake up. And when I did wake up, I remember thinking,
what am I going to do?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
My life was so listless, so.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Void of anything that would motivate me to whether it
be talked to someone, I mean even my wife, or
get something to eat for breakfast, or I mean there
was nothing on my to do list.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Nothing. Life just turned into a long.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Just just just an unbelievable existence. And what I did
is there are a lot of ways to grieve, and
and I subscribe to and would encourage everyone to read
about grief and there and there's there's six stages of
(17:24):
grief commonly that are presented and I'll tell you healthy
grief will help you get through anything.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Now.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Unhealthy is the path I took, and that's the that
was my mistake.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
So there were.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Three things that I leaned on and in trying to
get through the second death of our our children. And
that was just anything that would any anything that would
soothe me, anything that would bring me comfort.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
I was all about that.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Now, I'm working in college basketball, and you know you can.
You can work long long days in college basketball, and
and to me, working an extraordinarily amount of long, long
hours during the day was that was the medicine for me.
(18:18):
It just consumed me because I was so consumed in
my job and it allowed me a place to go
and and something to do to where I could be
engaged with something different than the thought of losing our daughters.
And so that was one of my escapes. My second
escape was alcohol. And I had been a drinker but
(18:42):
but had never leaned on it in this in this way.
But believe me, if it brought me arrest of for
a couple hours of put in a in the zone
where I felt like, hey, you know I can relax,
and you know, alcohol has a lot of tremendous ability
to put me in a place that I felt better
(19:02):
and I didn't have to and it's been its appointment
raw as braw as it normally would have been. Like
addiction show Doctor Row when one Weearboss and two whereboss
and for me it became pornography, and pornography was a
place online where I could go, where nobody judged me,
(19:24):
nobody had anything bad to say, and it was a
place where I could go and and and and just
really be comforted if you would. Unfortunately, the way again
addiction goes, when when one part of an addiction wears off,
you just graduate up to the next level. And for
me it was, you know, he got to the point
(19:46):
where it was out of control and I was I
was in repeat the images that were illegal and and
that was my charge. And one day in my in
the basketball office at Iowas State Universe for the two
federal agents walked into my office and basically spilled the
means and said that they had been investigating me for
(20:07):
two and a half years and that I wanted to
ask me some questions. And I'll tell you, I was
so tired of being two people. I mean so mentally
and physically tired of having to I had to be
the purf, that the coach, that was the public figure.
(20:27):
But I also, you know, was trying to take care
of my life and have this whole comfort bid of
me going too.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
And it's believed me.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
It's really difficult to do, and it's so taxing to
be two people. And I basically said, I'm not going
to fight you. I'm tired of it. I want to
be done with this. And I knew it'ud be the
end of my career as soon as I said that,
And I was willing to do that because I knew
that I was not in a good place. I knew
(20:57):
what I'd been doing with pornography was not anything that
I can don't I did it to keep myself going
and don't blame anybody other than myself or for deciding
to do those things. And the cost of that was
unbelievably tremendous. I got, you know, I was removed from
(21:18):
college basketball, I was removed from my position, and I
had by's had to start life over and try to
figure out who the heck Randy Brown was.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
In the story.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
I'm telling there are a lot of ways that we
can handle adversity. One of them is not to react
and to respond, which is a little bit more time sensitive,
it's more mature. It allows for retrospective self reflection and
allows other people to be involved in your journey of
(21:50):
making a comeback. If you don't do it and you
do it in silence, it's dangerous as can be and
it is not the way to go. Please if there's
some one who is involved in it, and you'll know
who you are when you hear this, I would grab
someone that you can trust and say that I meet
with you and just lay it out and spill the beans.
(22:13):
And I'm telling you there is an unbelievably there's a
physical manifestation when you tell someone for the first time
something you've been involved in that you're embarrassed about, that
you know is something that people might judge you about.
You lay it out for one person and it can
stain your life.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
So that might be the only.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Person you ever have to tell. And if they can
help you and guide you and get you to help
you need so that you can start to make better
decisions and turn from what it is that you're doing.
As we know, there's a lot of different ways to
comfort ourselves. You can absolutely do the right thing and
it can make all.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
The difference in the world.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I just chose not to, right, Well, I just definitely
and I appreciate you for being vulnerable and you know,
on the show today and sharing your story, because sometimes
I think people come on the show and they share
there's minor setbacks, right and then they.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Pushed through them.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But yours was a very significant setback, and it just
shows I mean, of course, look at you now, and
we'll you know, talk about that, but I just want
listeners to know that even when you have the most
devastating setback that is self induced, like you bring it
on yourself and you you basically have life jacked yourself,
(23:34):
that there still is a way for you to come back.
There's still a way for you to as you say
in some of your talks, you're able to rebound.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
So I want to ask.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You what was yours turning point that began your journey
towards recovery, because you could have gone to prison after that,
and you could have, like you said, you could have
been like you know what, I laid it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
I laid myself down, I quit. I don't want to
do anything else positive.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I just want to just be here and just waste
away until until God.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Takes me home, like you said, and then I'm done.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
But no, you chose to fight back really against yourself, right,
he said, you you know you have the secret part
of you, but you chose to say, you know what,
I'm going to fight back and I am going to
put this person away for good and they're never going
to see the light of day again. So how like,
(24:27):
what was the turning point that began that journey towards
recovery and really reinvention, because you know, coach, you have
reinvented yourself. I mean it's almost like you had to
chuse injury, right, and then you've come back, right, you
reinvented you of that renew So what was your turning point?
Speaker 5 (24:48):
There were a couple and I will say that I
didn't have an answer. But when I got back from prison,
I didn't have an answer because I couldn't find this guy,
Randy Brown. And if I could find him, he wouldn't
really mean much to me because he really didn't represent anything.
There was something powerful that happened that I realized that,
(25:10):
as much as it is is a tremendous thing to
be called coach when you're no longer the coach. You're
no longer called coach. And if they're not going to
call me coach, what are they going to call me?
And I felt a duty to my family, certainly a
duty to my wife, who was unbelievably supportive daring all
of this, if we can even imagine that he was.
(25:33):
And I knew that I had a duty to my family.
I still had two beautiful daughters to help raise. But
it went deeper than that. It went deeper than that.
I had a very impactful meeting with our senior pastor
at Christ Community Church names I with David's staff, who
I consider one of my real true friends, not just
(25:56):
because he's a senior pastor, because I know him on
a very personal level as a man. And I went
to him one day, doctor Rowe, and I said, can't
I go, I can't do this. I go, this is
too hard. I don't I still want to be that
coach and I want this and I want that, And
he just I said, I'm so riddled with the question
(26:17):
why don't move forward? And part of this, but part
of the turning point was his answer, and it was
so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Instead, he goes, you have.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
To and I held his hand. He gave me hold
his hands. He goes, look me in the eye, He
goes you. I want you to believe me, like you've
never believed anything in your life. He said, As human beings,
we are not created to have all of the answers.
Wasn't part of the wasn't part of our creator. There
are things that we won't learn, even though we want
(26:51):
answers to on this side the things. But I can
tell you that you will find out and you will.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Get your answer.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
And I didn't understand why there had to be so
much pain in life, Like what was the purpose of
all the pain? Well, I've come to learn that what
David's staff told me that day was exactly the truth.
And I became light as a feather. I remember walking
out of there, I could almost just fly. I felt
that that burden of having to find an answer to
(27:24):
all those questions didn't exist because we weren't created to
know what those answers are. That was a huge turning point,
and I would say kind of a third part of
the turning point was just to be surrounded by so
many people who had not judged me for what I did.
(27:45):
They just they knew me by what they knew about me.
And some of these people I grew up with in
my hometown of Fort Dodge, Iowa for many many years
I met along the way in life, and they were
just people that were there. They were in support of me.
They knew me, and they knew how much I still
had to give to life and give to others. And
(28:08):
many of those said and really got me to think
about that what we have been through can give us
the opportunity to use that very same pain, in those
very same experiences to help others in the same situation.
And I remember the light light switch kind of going on, thinking, wow,
(28:33):
that is so instead of looking at like pain, and
I can look at it like I can actually use
my experiences and the hand I've been dealt because adversity
comes with the trampoline, and I can use this to
actually maybe help other people before they make decisions that
(28:55):
they shouldn't make in the throes of adversity. And that
meant a lot to me, because I felt like that
became a calling for me, and I decided to rebound,
not only rebound, but rebound forward, which to me is
the only way to go about it. So that I
know that's a long answer, but it wasn't one particular thing.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
It was kind of wolven.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
It was woven together with those three separate situation but
it was powerful.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
No, that was that was remarkable. Thank you so much
for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And I do agree with you. You know what your
pastors said is that you just have to believe and
like you said, it's a fate, it's and I just
you know what, I think that back in athletes, I'm
I'm a former athlete, and you just have to believe,
like you don't know how you're going to do it,
you don't know how it's going to happen, but you
(29:47):
have to have the belief in yourself and you have
to have the belief in your team and your abilities.
And I think that's definitely what you're saying. No matter
how big the setback, you can come back. But to
believe that you can, Like I love that, Randon, like
you just have to you. I mean, it's I guess
it's a believer but pretty much right.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Yeah, yeah, And I like that word believe.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
And you know what a lot of people they decide,
they make a decision that they're going to come back,
and it's kind of like you know that that joke
where they say, you know, there's three frogs on a
on a log and one decides that he's going to
jump in. How many are left? Well, there's still three
left because he decided he was going to jump in.
He just hasn't jumped yet. And so then there's the
(30:34):
follow up and there's there's the commitment. There, there's the
the things you have to do every day because we
can all you know, everybody wants to lose a few pounds, right.
I always like talking about that. Oh yeah, who doesn't
want to do that? And people will say, oh yeah,
I want to do that, I want to do that.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I'm going to do that. You don't see him at
the gym.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
And so there's that next huge step in anything we
say that that we want or we're going to do
is committing to it. And then those action steps which
will lead us to like you said, as athletes, you
need to make a comeback. You can't just half aswardly
get up in the morning and say it hope it
works out. No, you have to have a plan and
(31:15):
stick with your plan.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Absolutely, Now you have this metaphor and you've mentioned that
this metaphor that you have is that the concept of
a quilt being created throughout our lives. So what exactly
does this metaphor mean and how it has it shaped
your perspective on adversity.
Speaker 5 (31:39):
Wow, well, I'm so glad you asked this question. Really,
I always loved talking about the quilt and I remember
reading this somewhere and when I wrote when I sat
down and wrote my book, this is one of the
things that just kept gnawing at me, like I want
to make sure that there's a plate for this. Well,
(32:00):
if you can imagine a quilt being made, and in life,
when we're going through things, we are only allowed to
be on the back of the quilt. So let's say
that a quilts hung up in a room, and there's
room behind the quilt, and there's a room in front
of the quilt, and the people making the quilt. Okay,
(32:21):
we're not allowed on that side. We're only on the backside.
And I'm sure everybody's seen the back of a quilt.
This is where all of the strands or all of
the thread comes out, and all of the yarn, and
this is where they tie them off into knots when
they're done with it on the other side. This is
where the kind of ugly. It looks like an ugly,
(32:44):
unorganized mess of the things. Yeah, and in life when
things happen to us or we evaluate our role in life.
I'm big on the word perspective, who you are and
and who you are in this world. When we look
at the back of the quilt, we say that's my life.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Yup, that stinks. I don't like that. I don't like that.
Why did these things have to happen? God?
Speaker 5 (33:13):
What are you doing to me? If you're such a
wonderful God, why do you allow these things that are
so painful to happen? And that's the conversation that goes
on behind the quilt. But the unbelievably uplifting thing to
me is it's God on the other side of the quilt.
And we are at some point going to be able
(33:34):
to walk around that quilt and look at the astonishing beauty, thought,
and just magnificent artwork that has been created all of
this time, and we didn't even know it because we
could only see the back of the quilt. And at
that moment where we get to see what has been created,
(33:58):
actually we will understand why so many things.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
That happened during our life what will happen.
Speaker 5 (34:06):
And God doesn't make any mistakes. He knows what, He
knows what he's doing with every little needle, needle point stitch.
It's part of a giant creation. And everybody has one.
Everybody has a quilt. And if all we do, though
is focus on the back of that quilt. That's why
(34:28):
I want everybody to know that there's another side that
you're gonna see of your quilt, and it's gonna be beautiful.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
I can't wait.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
It's gonna be awesome. And there's gonna be answers and
that's gonna be cool too, because I'm gonna be able
to get some of these answers. And do you know what,
Doctor Road. The great thing about the answers is they're
gonna make sense.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
You know.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
It won't be like point counterpoint back and forth. It
won't be one of those. It won't have to because
it will make beautiful sense. And I'll say, oh my gosh,
why did I not believe God you when I went
through all this? Because I knew. And that's Romans eight
twenty eight. You know, for those who believe that the
things that are being done in life are being done
(35:10):
for good. Now, that's really hard to take when you're
in the throes of pain and can't understand what's going
on in your life. But that that verse right there,
Romans eight twenty eight. It's about the quilt, and man,
I can't wait to see mine.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I love that, And I love that metaphor that you
use because you know, the outside world, right, people looking
at us, just seeing the beautiful side of our quilt, right,
and they're like, oh, you've got it all together.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
They're looking at us.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
And you've got it all together, not knowing that behind
the quilt is all of these different avenues and crossroads
and tragedies and mystitches.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I just don't know. But you're right. I mean through
the faith of God and how God protects us. He
puts his arm around us, Randy, He really really does.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Even through the time that we are not making the
best of choices. But again, if you have that faith,
he doesn't allow you to stray too far.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
He doesn't allow you to stray too far.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
I can say that and you and He can help
you find your way back.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Now, there's three ss that you mentioned earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
That I want to talk about, and that's the faith,
family and friends and that you say, you said that
they played a big role in your recovery. So yeah,
so can you share, Like, I mean, what exactly did
these three s? What did they do for you during
(36:52):
your darkness moment? What made faith like these particular things?
What made those things special for you?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Well? I can begin to answer that by telling you this.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
When you think that God is somewhere else, if you
think he's hiding me, if you think he doesn't want
to spend time with you, if you think he's not interested,
you're wrong. If you think your family would not do
anything for you anything, okay, then you just.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
That's the mistake. And your friends, those.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Who truly know you deeply know you will always be there.
And so the first thing about the three f's is
they've always been there, They'll always be there, and they're
there right now. And we can we deceive ourselves by thinking, no,
nobody's gonna want to be my friend. People are going
(37:51):
to run away from me in my life, and my
family's going to look down on me.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
And who knows where God was?
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Because God didn't help when I was going through my
most difficult time, and we put ourselves on an island,
and all of a sudden it stof sitting on an
island all by ourselves, and that never ever the case.
So I had to and I and it came from
talking to a lot of friends, my family, but a
lot of friends too, who would who would get on
(38:19):
the phone with me and we would talk. And these
aren't people that just say, hey, if you need something,
just call me. It was like, if you need something
and you need me to be there tomorrow morning, I
will be there tomorrow morning.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Which which makes them feel like they're right there in
that moment.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
So I think that was probably my biggest takeaway about
about friends, family and faith. And you know, I was
angry at God. I will I will definitely admit that
I was angry at God. I first my God. When
I was involved in pornography, I had this picture of
(38:57):
taking God and putting him in a room and locking
the doors that he couldn't see anything that I was
doing or I was smart one, well yeah he was.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
God was.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
God was over my shoulder, looking over my shoulder every
bit of the way, and so here I thought I
was being this tricky guy and and trying to try
to have, you know, work it out my way for
it sort of work to my But no, those people
are always there.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
But but I will.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
Say that we do need to I have a theory
that we we are the culmination doctor rowe of everything
we have done, sped and thought. Now, unfortunately, when we
have a choice, we'd like to represent ourselves by the
(39:44):
good things. And those things that that we don't take
ownership of end up being inside of us and they
eat away at us.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
And if you want to truly be free, and if you.
Speaker 5 (39:59):
Want to live in a way that will make you
feel like you are one hundred percent alive, take take
take account of all of you. Okay, let coaches, and
it's easy to talk about the championship, cap championships and
the great things that have happened in your career. No,
(40:20):
we don't like to talk about when we got fired
from a job or when we lost to any game.
For the things or the culmination of everything. So why
I mean, just stand up and say here's who I am.
I didn't have to do that, but there's something deep
in me that may convinced me that if I'm gonna
if I'm gonna do this right. If I'm going to
(40:41):
reinvent myself, I'm gonna reinvent myself as someone who can
openly and honestly talk about everything I've done and that
ownership is so strong. Oh you talk about you talk
about really getting right with yourself, and if you can
(41:02):
do that just with one person, doctor Rowe, it can
be one person that can start there. Believe me, because
it isn't like there are sinless people in the world. Hey,
we have all sinned, we have done things, we all
hide things. But I have a favorite, favorite little slogan
I like to talk about when we hide things.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
And when we run.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
Running never works out because when we run, the person
that chases never tires.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Now think about that, they never tire.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
You can run as long as you want, but eventually
somebody's going to catch up to you, whatever that might
be in your particular situation. And I can't remember if
I read this somewhere or I just said just popped
in my head one day, but it is so true.
He's going to only run for so long. We're usually
running from ourselves, which is really crazy. Yeah, you why
(41:56):
not just you know, look in the mirror and say, Okay,
I'm done running.
Speaker 4 (41:59):
I did those things. I'm not happy about doing that.
I'm embarrassed, but it's.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Part of me, part of what makes me human. And
to know all of me is to know all of me,
and I just it's been huge for me and it's
allowed me to rebound forward and do some of the
things that I'm able to do.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
And it's exciting. It's exciting.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Like I said, it's hard to believe us that our
time is up. And you know, but this has been
a conversation. But before you go, if you know, I
have to ask you, because this is the famous question
at the end of all of my interviews. Are you
know what advice would you give about building resilience to
someone who is currently experiencing adversity and struggling to see
(42:45):
a way forward, who is devastated just as deep down
as you were.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Yes, the first, very first thing is whether you believe
this or not. Begin to create in your mind a
situation where this is going to be okay, you are
going to make it through to the next day. You're
going to make it through to the next year.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
Pain like the.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Death of a child is I've heard I've heard this
said many times, is like a scar on your arm.
The scar will always be there, but it won't be
it won't be so sensitive to the touch that it was.
Two days after the scar, you know, begin to heal
on your arm. It'll be years later. The gar will
(43:35):
still be there, but it won't hurt like I did
there there it will it will be. There will be
great memories though. That's the first thing. And give yourself
some credit, folks, and believe that that there is a
better life for you, and that your life will benefit
somehow from everything that's happened to you. And and then
(43:56):
the second thing is this. I believe that resilience is
like a muscle. And the more we exercise a muscle.
So let's say something happens tomorrow and we want to
really bail out on ourselves, and we don't, and we
stick to it. We do what we know to do.
We go to the three f's, we begin to work
on grief, and we get through that. Do you know
(44:18):
how much easier it is the next time when something
not that drastic, but something else happens. It's almost like, well,
I've exercised that resilience muscle. It's in good shape. It
knows how to respond and you get through the next one,
then you get through the next one and the next one,
and you don't become invincible, but you become very good
(44:40):
at understanding what perspective is and knowing how to deal
with things that are very uncomfortable, that you don't want
to deal with, but that you have to. So that
would mean my I want everybody to think about that.
It's a muscle and you can either ignore it or
you can use it. And if you use it, it
will pay off a billion times over.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
No, I can. I couldn't agree with you more. It
is definitely a muscle.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I can tell you the way that I approach things
now in comparison to the way that I approach things
when I first started this show in October from twenty three,
I think about resilience in a totally different.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
Way, and I attack life in a different way.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So I tell you, yes, that's awesome, that's great to hear.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Good, But thank you Randy Brown for sharing your incredible
journey with us.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
I mean, your testament is a.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
I mean, your story is a testament to the power
of resilience and the impact of turning adversity into an
opportunity for growth and empowerment. I absolutely truly appreciate your
openness and the wisdom that you share growth. So how
can listeners find very much yes, no, of course. Now
(45:55):
how can listeners find and connect with.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
You if they would like to book you for speaking?
Speaker 5 (46:01):
The best way to connect with me, it's very simple.
My Nichols are RB, Randy Brown RB, and he's a coach,
So I'm RB at coach RB dot com. That is
the most direct.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
Path to me.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Send me an email and tell me that that you
heard the show and follow up with any questions or
any inquiries that you might have. But rather than tending
people to social media or this or that, I just
say RB, COACHRB. It'll get to me and we would
be thrilled to hear from from anybody and everybody from
the from the show, and thank you so much for
(46:38):
this opportunity. And I believe in dropping seeds, doctor Rowe,
and I I know that every time that that I'm
on a podcast, and every time I hear a podcast,
that there are little nuggets that can can be taken
into people's lives, into their memory that they might not
use in this moment, but they could use it down
the road. And I think that's what's so great about
(46:59):
podcasts and what you do is you are a seed
planter and you drop seeds every day and those seeds
you won't even know it, but you're you're saving lives,
you're changing lives because you're dropping these seeds. And people
are gonna they're gonna take that seeds, they're gonna bury it,
they're gonna take care of it, nurture it, and it's
gonna grow and it's gonna be an incredible part of
(47:19):
their life and you don't even know it.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
So keep doing what you're doing. Thank you so much. Well.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
I receive that openly and wholeheartedly, So thank you, Thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (47:31):
Well.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
I was gonna ask you if you have any last
words words of encouragement for the listeners, but you gave
me some words of encouragement for me.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (47:39):
Well, yeah, my partying shot, my partying shot is this,
when it gets really, really difficult, we.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
Have a choice.
Speaker 5 (47:47):
We can quit, fit or get We know what quit is.
That means we're gonna continue with life, but we're gonna
be a shell of ourselves because we're just gonna We're
just gonna sit and have our pity part here, but get.
The get part is you go get whatever you want.
You get what you find, a life that you want
(48:08):
out there in the throes of adversity, and you go
get it. And for me, I went, like in basketball,
if you need the ball, you got to go rebound it.
I went and got a rebound and I rebounded forward
and it's made all the difference in my life.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
So let's go get. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
We're either gonna quit or get, but we're gonna go get.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
We're gonna hustle, We're gon that ball.
Speaker 4 (48:33):
That's right, that's right, let's go get it. Get what
you want.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
I love it well ready. I appreciate your message of
hope and transformation.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I wish you and your family nothing but blessings and abundance.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
Please take care.
Speaker 4 (48:47):
Thank you so much, doctor Rowe.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
So it's Randy Brown.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Everyone be sure to join me next time for more
uplifting stories and insights on resilience. Until then, keep pushing forward,
embrace the journey, and remember that every setback says lead
to a greater comeback. Doctor Rowe, signing off,
What do you do when your secret life steps out
of bound to ruin your public life? How do you
rebound to make it right again? Welcome to another episode
of Life Jack to the Resilience podcast, where remarkable people
share their personal stories of adversity and triumph. Today, I
(00:22):
have a truly inspiring guest to Coach Randy Brown. Brandy
life has been an interesting mixture of family work, secret lives, music, basketball,
and an unwavering pursuit of excellence. With a master's degree
from the University of Arizona, Randy built a successful career
in coaching college basketball. However, his life took a tragic
(00:45):
turn when he suffered the loss of his two young daughters,
leading him down a path of addiction and ultimately serving
time in federal prisons. Despite these challenges, Randy has emerged stronger,
dedicating his life to helping you by sharing his story
and teaching the valuable lessons he has learned. Join us
as we explore Coach Randy's incredible journey of resilience and transformation.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Sometimes life gives us lemons, Sometimes it gives us lemonade.
Other Times it gives us something entirely out of left
field that makes us say w t F. But no
matter what obstacles come, there is most often a way
out on the other side, and we are once again victorious.
(01:38):
My name is doctor Rope, and you are listening to
my podcast about resilience. Every guest shares a tragedy to
triumph story to give listeners like you the inspiration to
push through every single day. Listen now as my next
guest shares how they were.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Like Jack, Hi, Randy, welcome. Thank you so much for
being a guest on my show.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
How are you.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Wonderful, Doctor Rowe.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
It's just excited to be here, a pleasure to be
in your company, and have been really excited about being
able to share some time with you here.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Oh that's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Now can you start my sharing What initially threw you
into a career in coaching college basketball and what was
that experience.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Like for you?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
There's nothing like it. I'll tell you.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
It started when I was a youngster because my father
was a sports writer, and so when I would go
to work with my dad, we went to the gym
and I got to watch them keep the scorebook and
interview players and coaches, and I just understood a lot
about the sport and a lot about a lot about
how important coaches were, how important communication with players. And
(02:53):
I saw hundreds of practices before I was probably ten
years old, and so the game itself was kind of
second nature to me.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
And I learned at.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
A pretty young age that you not only could play
it when you're a youngster, but somebody had to coach
it too, and maybe when I grew older that I
could still be around basketball and be a coach. And
that's how kind of it all started. And I chose
one profession and that's what I did. I got very lucky,
but I traced it all back to my dad being
(03:28):
a sports writer. It was really the impetus.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Of it all.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Now that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's truly a blessing when you were able to pick
a career and it's one that you love, because most
of us we kind of stumble upon our career. We
kind of go to college, so whether we end up
doing something else. But you know, how lucky you're, right,
I mean, how lucky you are that you are able
to pick something that you love and enjoy, and that
(03:53):
you pick that as a career and you had some
success at it, you know, So that's that's remarkable. Remarkable
now very coorting, Yes, yes, for sure. Now, for those
who may not know, you have had well former players
go to the NBA, including twenty sixteen NBA Coach of
(04:14):
the Year Steve Kerr, who currently coaches the Golden State Warriors.
Did you see this in him him being coach Steve Kerr?
Did you see that in him that he was going
to be this phenomenal, you know, basketball player and then
ultimately championship winning coach when he was in college, Well.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I witnessed his sort of coming to be the great
college player. He led his team, the Arizona team the
year after I had left Arizona, that eighty eight team
went to the Final four, and coach loude Olsen came
to the Desert from Iowa and took that program over
and in short order they became very relevant in the
(04:54):
national colleens picture. Steve Perr was an interesting stuf as
a player, and I'll tell you he was one of
these that you would term coach on the floor. And
sometimes we're lucky enough to have one of our players
who sees the game close to the way the coach
would see the game. And that's invaluable because they're in
(05:16):
out there in the flow of the game, and the
game isn't like practice to where you can just stop
it and correct and say, well, think about doing this
and think about doing that. It's a free flow and
it's almost frustrating as a coach because you can't have
the control you have during practice. But when you have
a coach on the floor, he understood the game. He
(05:37):
saw things that coaches could see that I'm sure a
lot of his teammates couldn't see at the time because
they were just playing the game. But he played the game.
He also saw the game. We never talked about Steve
as being a coach or maybe being a great coach.
We just all really just valued what he brought to
(05:59):
the program. And you know, Steve sixty three and he's
but he's not. I mean, we had seven footers in
the program, and nobody took a back seat to Steve
Kerr because when he spoke, they really listened and took
him very steriously. So I guess what you could say
to answer the question is that I can certainly see
(06:19):
now why he is tremendously been tremendously successful based on
how he saw the game, and and the and the
kind of player and leader he was in college or
without a doubt, really proud of him, No.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Absolutely, And I know he carried that on, you know,
to play with the Bulls as well, and he just
seemed like he was just the teammate, you know, the
player that you would want on your team. He was
just you know, the great teammate you know, with with
Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. It just seemed like it
was really awesome. So you know that that is phenomenal,
and thank you for sharing that with me and the listeners.
(06:55):
That was shift gears a little bit and talk about
the unimaginable loss. I mean that is devastating for any parent,
and that is the passing of your daughters. Now, how
did that strategy, I mean, if you want to share
and go into detail, it totally a to you. But
(07:17):
how did that tragedy impact your life and career at
that particular time of it happening.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It affected my life personally tremendously. But doctor Rowe, I
have to tell you that I allowed it to impact
on a negative in a negative way.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I allowed it to impact me.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
There isn't a parent who hasn't lost a child whose
life has become different and in some cases tremendously different.
As I try to explain to people I can best,
I can best portray it like this, I just felt
like part of my soul was ripped out of me,
(08:00):
and it was the part of my soul that couldn't
be put back in that nothing could be made whole again.
And it's just a feeling like you're just not quite there.
How we deal with adversity, which is what I do
now with people, is really an interesting study. But when
(08:23):
life reaches up and takes something from us the unimaginable,
we're not prepared for it, because you don't prepare to
lose your children. And more specifically about what happened in
the case of our oldest daughter, I was an assistant
coach at Miami of Ohio in Oxford, Ohio, and went
(08:44):
to practice the day after her fourth birthday in November
of nineteen ninety two, and just like any other day
where she was four years old, and I went to
the dad went to practice and he'll be home later
and never got a chance to speak to her again.
You don't prepare for that, and so one of the
(09:06):
things I really like to I really like to talk
to people about is pairing, even though it may be hurtful.
But I think it's very valuable that we prepare for
the inevitability the things are going to happen in our lives.
Nobody's exempt from things happening, painful things happening, you know,
(09:30):
terrible things in our life.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
We can't.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Nobody's exempt from it. We've all faced it. We don't
know when it's coming. But I just implore people to
just fit and imagine if they could something really really
difficult occurring, the phone call in the middle of the night,
or someone comes to knocks on the door, and how
(09:55):
would they respond. I think it is very good work.
I think it's I'm well used because some things are
so difficult that, as we know, people just check out
of life. It's too much, it's too heavy, it's something
they don't feel like they can deal with. And that
doesn't need to be it really doesn't. I'm so fortunate
(10:18):
to be able to be standing on the other side
these adversities and to be able to be on with
you and utter these words. Actually, because doctor Rowe, I
was really close to one of the statistics, one of
the ones she said, I can't do it anymore, there's
no way now. When it happened with our second daughter,
(10:39):
I came as close as I think one could possibly
come to make a decision that they didn't want to
live on this.
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Earth any longer. Those were dark, dark, dark times.
Speaker 5 (10:49):
But the first time it happened, we didn't know, We
had no idea, And just to give you just a
little background on it, we still don't know to this
day it was specifically that caused their children. We know
it was a rare disease. We know that that that
some things were out of balance them as they got thick,
(11:11):
they weren't able to handle like flu like symptoms and
sickness the way other kids do, and their their organs
were attacked, and and it's just and it was a
very rapid thing.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I mean, it was like in an hour.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
And so by the time my wife realized something was
dractfually wrong, rut her to our local hospital, which barely closed,
and they came and got me in practice and drove
me up to the hospital.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
And I never got a chance to talk to our
oldest again.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
I talked to her, but I guess I'll never know
whether we heard me or not, but I just in vain,
I spoke to her and I just I pled with God,
please let this message get to my child, because I'm
never going to be able to never going to be
able to talk to her again and spend the rest
of my life with her. And it's just I can't
(12:05):
even you know, I can't even really other than there's
just this huge hole, just a giant hole. And I
know this though, that if you have any of these
three f's I call it the three f's, your faith,
your family, and your friends. If you have any semblance
(12:25):
of those three, you have a chance. But if you're
within an airshot of listening to this, please don't try
to knuckle it up and do it on your own,
because this is not something to do on your own.
It's not it's too heavy. There are too many unanswered questions,
and I got caught up in.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
The why, why why, and there were.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
No answers to my why, which I found out later
in a really pivotal day with my pastor, and that
really really helped me. But just would ask people that
if you don't know what to do, take a step back,
take a deep breath, and realize that there can be
help on the way in a second, and pick up
the phone and call someone. And I have found that
(13:13):
verbally describing what I'm going through and what has happened
really helps me with someone else. So it kind of
separates me from that instant pain and and you know,
just tremendous shock and to know that you've got someone
there and they don't need to say anything if they
can just come and they're it within your presence and
they put their arms around you and hug you and
(13:35):
tell you how much they love you, and they want
to help so bad and they can't, and it hurts
them too because they just see how difficult it is that.
I know I've thrown a lot of things at your question,
but it is such a I want to say, once
(13:56):
in a lifetime experience, and it wasn't for us. It
was repetitive, But there is a way through everything. I
do believe that, doctor Row. In fact, I believe the
adversity comes with a trampoline. If you decide to use
the trampoline, all adversity comes with the chance to continue
(14:20):
on with your life. And although things will never be
the way they used to be, they can still be
great and I'm a Christian, I truly and honestly and
know in my heart of hearts that I'm going to
see my girl in heaven. And that is such a
relief to me because I thought when they were gone,
(14:42):
they were gone, and physically they work on.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Today.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
As a matter of fact, on the day we're taping
this with you, is the twenty seventh anniversary of our
second daughter passing. Natalie Jean was on February second, and
a number of years ago nineteen eight.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
So I'm a little raw today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, But.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Now I appreciate you, know, you having the courage to
share because not only were you and your wife life
Jack wants you know, but through the passing of one
of your daughters, but twice through the passing of your
second daughter as well.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
And rest in paradise to Natalie Jean and your older
daughter Meredith. I think is what you said. He but
I can't agree with you.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
More faith, family, friends, You've got to have those threeps.
I love that you mentioned that, and we'll talk about
that a little bit later.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Now I want to.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Kind of go into the next thing is like you
said you would hit rock bottom and you just were,
like I just don't know if I can do this
life anymore. And that's understandable. And I know that there
have been several listeners out there that have also felt
the same way. But then you ended up spending two
years in prison. So how did that transpire?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Well, I had mentioned earlier that.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
That we you know, we all have choices.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
And when when our second daughter left us quickly on
the second of February in the nineteen ninety eight, I
found nothing but darkness. And I remember going to bed
and hoping that I could sleep, and never wanting to
(16:33):
wake up. And when I did wake up, I remember thinking,
what am I going to do?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
My life was so listless, so.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Void of anything that would motivate me to whether it
be talked to someone, I mean even my wife, or
get something to eat for breakfast, or I mean there
was nothing on my to do list.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Nothing. Life just turned into a long.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Just just just an unbelievable existence. And what I did
is there are a lot of ways to grieve, and
and I subscribe to and would encourage everyone to read
about grief and there and there's there's six stages of
(17:24):
grief commonly that are presented and I'll tell you healthy
grief will help you get through anything.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Now.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Unhealthy is the path I took, and that's the that
was my mistake.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
So there were.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
Three things that I leaned on and in trying to
get through the second death of our our children. And
that was just anything that would any anything that would
soothe me, anything that would bring me comfort.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
I was all about that.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
Now, I'm working in college basketball, and you know you can.
You can work long long days in college basketball, and
and to me, working an extraordinarily amount of long, long
hours during the day was that was the medicine for me.
(18:18):
It just consumed me because I was so consumed in
my job and it allowed me a place to go
and and something to do to where I could be
engaged with something different than the thought of losing our daughters.
And so that was one of my escapes. My second
escape was alcohol. And I had been a drinker but
(18:42):
but had never leaned on it in this in this way.
But believe me, if it brought me arrest of for
a couple hours of put in a in the zone
where I felt like, hey, you know I can relax,
and you know, alcohol has a lot of tremendous ability
to put me in a place that I felt better
(19:02):
and I didn't have to and it's been its appointment
raw as braw as it normally would have been. Like
addiction show Doctor Row when one Weearboss and two whereboss
and for me it became pornography, and pornography was a
place online where I could go, where nobody judged me,
(19:24):
nobody had anything bad to say, and it was a
place where I could go and and and and just
really be comforted if you would. Unfortunately, the way again
addiction goes, when when one part of an addiction wears off,
you just graduate up to the next level. And for
me it was, you know, he got to the point
(19:46):
where it was out of control and I was I
was in repeat the images that were illegal and and
that was my charge. And one day in my in
the basketball office at Iowas State Universe for the two
federal agents walked into my office and basically spilled the
means and said that they had been investigating me for
(20:07):
two and a half years and that I wanted to
ask me some questions. And I'll tell you, I was
so tired of being two people. I mean so mentally
and physically tired of having to I had to be
the purf, that the coach, that was the public figure.
(20:27):
But I also, you know, was trying to take care
of my life and have this whole comfort bid of
me going too.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
And it's believed me.
Speaker 5 (20:37):
It's really difficult to do, and it's so taxing to
be two people. And I basically said, I'm not going
to fight you. I'm tired of it. I want to
be done with this. And I knew it'ud be the
end of my career as soon as I said that,
And I was willing to do that because I knew
that I was not in a good place. I knew
(20:57):
what I'd been doing with pornography was not anything that
I can don't I did it to keep myself going
and don't blame anybody other than myself or for deciding
to do those things. And the cost of that was
unbelievably tremendous. I got, you know, I was removed from
(21:18):
college basketball, I was removed from my position, and I
had by's had to start life over and try to
figure out who the heck Randy Brown was.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
In the story.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
I'm telling there are a lot of ways that we
can handle adversity. One of them is not to react
and to respond, which is a little bit more time sensitive,
it's more mature. It allows for retrospective self reflection and
allows other people to be involved in your journey of
(21:50):
making a comeback. If you don't do it and you
do it in silence, it's dangerous as can be and
it is not the way to go. Please if there's
some one who is involved in it, and you'll know
who you are when you hear this, I would grab
someone that you can trust and say that I meet
with you and just lay it out and spill the beans.
(22:13):
And I'm telling you there is an unbelievably there's a
physical manifestation when you tell someone for the first time
something you've been involved in that you're embarrassed about, that
you know is something that people might judge you about.
You lay it out for one person and it can
stain your life.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
So that might be the only.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
Person you ever have to tell. And if they can
help you and guide you and get you to help
you need so that you can start to make better
decisions and turn from what it is that you're doing.
As we know, there's a lot of different ways to
comfort ourselves. You can absolutely do the right thing and
it can make all.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
The difference in the world.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
I just chose not to, right, Well, I just definitely
and I appreciate you for being vulnerable and you know,
on the show today and sharing your story, because sometimes
I think people come on the show and they share
there's minor setbacks, right and then they.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Pushed through them.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
But yours was a very significant setback, and it just
shows I mean, of course, look at you now, and
we'll you know, talk about that, but I just want
listeners to know that even when you have the most
devastating setback that is self induced, like you bring it
on yourself and you you basically have life jacked yourself,
(23:34):
that there still is a way for you to come back.
There's still a way for you to as you say
in some of your talks, you're able to rebound.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
So I want to ask.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You what was yours turning point that began your journey
towards recovery, because you could have gone to prison after that,
and you could have, like you said, you could have
been like you know what, I laid it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
I laid myself down, I quit. I don't want to
do anything else positive.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I just want to just be here and just waste
away until until God.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Takes me home, like you said, and then I'm done.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
But no, you chose to fight back really against yourself, right,
he said, you you know you have the secret part
of you, but you chose to say, you know what,
I'm going to fight back and I am going to
put this person away for good and they're never going
to see the light of day again. So how like,
(24:27):
what was the turning point that began that journey towards
recovery and really reinvention, because you know, coach, you have
reinvented yourself. I mean it's almost like you had to
chuse injury, right, and then you've come back, right, you
reinvented you of that renew So what was your turning point?
Speaker 5 (24:48):
There were a couple and I will say that I
didn't have an answer. But when I got back from prison,
I didn't have an answer because I couldn't find this guy,
Randy Brown. And if I could find him, he wouldn't
really mean much to me because he really didn't represent anything.
There was something powerful that happened that I realized that,
(25:10):
as much as it is is a tremendous thing to
be called coach when you're no longer the coach. You're
no longer called coach. And if they're not going to
call me coach, what are they going to call me?
And I felt a duty to my family, certainly a
duty to my wife, who was unbelievably supportive daring all
of this, if we can even imagine that he was.
(25:33):
And I knew that I had a duty to my family.
I still had two beautiful daughters to help raise. But
it went deeper than that. It went deeper than that.
I had a very impactful meeting with our senior pastor
at Christ Community Church names I with David's staff, who
I consider one of my real true friends, not just
(25:56):
because he's a senior pastor, because I know him on
a very personal level as a man. And I went
to him one day, doctor Rowe, and I said, can't
I go, I can't do this. I go, this is
too hard. I don't I still want to be that
coach and I want this and I want that, And
he just I said, I'm so riddled with the question
(26:17):
why don't move forward? And part of this, but part
of the turning point was his answer, and it was
so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
Instead, he goes, you have.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
To and I held his hand. He gave me hold
his hands. He goes, look me in the eye, He
goes you. I want you to believe me, like you've
never believed anything in your life. He said, As human beings,
we are not created to have all of the answers.
Wasn't part of the wasn't part of our creator. There
are things that we won't learn, even though we want
(26:51):
answers to on this side the things. But I can
tell you that you will find out and you will.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Get your answer.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
And I didn't understand why there had to be so
much pain in life, Like what was the purpose of
all the pain? Well, I've come to learn that what
David's staff told me that day was exactly the truth.
And I became light as a feather. I remember walking
out of there, I could almost just fly. I felt
that that burden of having to find an answer to
(27:24):
all those questions didn't exist because we weren't created to
know what those answers are. That was a huge turning point,
and I would say kind of a third part of
the turning point was just to be surrounded by so
many people who had not judged me for what I did.
(27:45):
They just they knew me by what they knew about me.
And some of these people I grew up with in
my hometown of Fort Dodge, Iowa for many many years
I met along the way in life, and they were
just people that were there. They were in support of me.
They knew me, and they knew how much I still
had to give to life and give to others. And
(28:08):
many of those said and really got me to think
about that what we have been through can give us
the opportunity to use that very same pain, in those
very same experiences to help others in the same situation.
And I remember the light light switch kind of going on, thinking, wow,
(28:33):
that is so instead of looking at like pain, and
I can look at it like I can actually use
my experiences and the hand I've been dealt because adversity
comes with the trampoline, and I can use this to
actually maybe help other people before they make decisions that
(28:55):
they shouldn't make in the throes of adversity. And that
meant a lot to me, because I felt like that
became a calling for me, and I decided to rebound,
not only rebound, but rebound forward, which to me is
the only way to go about it. So that I
know that's a long answer, but it wasn't one particular thing.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
It was kind of wolven.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
It was woven together with those three separate situation but
it was powerful.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
No, that was that was remarkable. Thank you so much
for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And I do agree with you. You know what your
pastors said is that you just have to believe and
like you said, it's a fate, it's and I just
you know what, I think that back in athletes, I'm
I'm a former athlete, and you just have to believe,
like you don't know how you're going to do it,
you don't know how it's going to happen, but you
(29:47):
have to have the belief in yourself and you have
to have the belief in your team and your abilities.
And I think that's definitely what you're saying. No matter
how big the setback, you can come back. But to
believe that you can, Like I love that, Randon, like
you just have to you. I mean, it's I guess
it's a believer but pretty much right.
Speaker 4 (30:10):
Yeah, yeah, And I like that word believe.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
And you know what a lot of people they decide,
they make a decision that they're going to come back,
and it's kind of like you know that that joke
where they say, you know, there's three frogs on a
on a log and one decides that he's going to
jump in. How many are left? Well, there's still three
left because he decided he was going to jump in.
He just hasn't jumped yet. And so then there's the
(30:34):
follow up and there's there's the commitment. There, there's the
the things you have to do every day because we
can all you know, everybody wants to lose a few pounds, right.
I always like talking about that. Oh yeah, who doesn't
want to do that? And people will say, oh yeah,
I want to do that, I want to do that.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
I'm going to do that. You don't see him at
the gym.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
And so there's that next huge step in anything we
say that that we want or we're going to do
is committing to it. And then those action steps which
will lead us to like you said, as athletes, you
need to make a comeback. You can't just half aswardly
get up in the morning and say it hope it
works out. No, you have to have a plan and
(31:15):
stick with your plan.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
No.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Absolutely, Now you have this metaphor and you've mentioned that
this metaphor that you have is that the concept of
a quilt being created throughout our lives. So what exactly
does this metaphor mean and how it has it shaped
your perspective on adversity.
Speaker 5 (31:39):
Wow, well, I'm so glad you asked this question. Really,
I always loved talking about the quilt and I remember
reading this somewhere and when I wrote when I sat
down and wrote my book, this is one of the
things that just kept gnawing at me, like I want
to make sure that there's a plate for this. Well,
(32:00):
if you can imagine a quilt being made, and in life,
when we're going through things, we are only allowed to
be on the back of the quilt. So let's say
that a quilts hung up in a room, and there's
room behind the quilt, and there's a room in front
of the quilt, and the people making the quilt. Okay,
(32:21):
we're not allowed on that side. We're only on the backside.
And I'm sure everybody's seen the back of a quilt.
This is where all of the strands or all of
the thread comes out, and all of the yarn, and
this is where they tie them off into knots when
they're done with it on the other side. This is
where the kind of ugly. It looks like an ugly,
(32:44):
unorganized mess of the things. Yeah, and in life when
things happen to us or we evaluate our role in life.
I'm big on the word perspective, who you are and
and who you are in this world. When we look
at the back of the quilt, we say that's my life.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Yup, that stinks. I don't like that. I don't like that.
Why did these things have to happen? God?
Speaker 5 (33:13):
What are you doing to me? If you're such a
wonderful God, why do you allow these things that are
so painful to happen? And that's the conversation that goes
on behind the quilt. But the unbelievably uplifting thing to
me is it's God on the other side of the quilt.
And we are at some point going to be able
(33:34):
to walk around that quilt and look at the astonishing beauty, thought,
and just magnificent artwork that has been created all of
this time, and we didn't even know it because we
could only see the back of the quilt. And at
that moment where we get to see what has been created,
(33:58):
actually we will understand why so many things.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
That happened during our life what will happen.
Speaker 5 (34:06):
And God doesn't make any mistakes. He knows what, He
knows what he's doing with every little needle, needle point stitch.
It's part of a giant creation. And everybody has one.
Everybody has a quilt. And if all we do, though
is focus on the back of that quilt. That's why
(34:28):
I want everybody to know that there's another side that
you're gonna see of your quilt, and it's gonna be beautiful.
Speaker 4 (34:34):
I can't wait.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
It's gonna be awesome. And there's gonna be answers and
that's gonna be cool too, because I'm gonna be able
to get some of these answers. And do you know what,
Doctor Road. The great thing about the answers is they're
gonna make sense.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
You know.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
It won't be like point counterpoint back and forth. It
won't be one of those. It won't have to because
it will make beautiful sense. And I'll say, oh my gosh,
why did I not believe God you when I went
through all this? Because I knew. And that's Romans eight
twenty eight. You know, for those who believe that the
things that are being done in life are being done
(35:10):
for good. Now, that's really hard to take when you're
in the throes of pain and can't understand what's going
on in your life. But that that verse right there,
Romans eight twenty eight. It's about the quilt, and man,
I can't wait to see mine.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I love that, And I love that metaphor that you
use because you know, the outside world, right, people looking
at us, just seeing the beautiful side of our quilt, right,
and they're like, oh, you've got it all together.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
They're looking at us.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
And you've got it all together, not knowing that behind
the quilt is all of these different avenues and crossroads
and tragedies and mystitches.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
I just don't know. But you're right. I mean through
the faith of God and how God protects us. He
puts his arm around us, Randy, He really really does.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Even through the time that we are not making the
best of choices. But again, if you have that faith,
he doesn't allow you to stray too far.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
He doesn't allow you to stray too far.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
I can say that and you and He can help
you find your way back.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Now, there's three ss that you mentioned earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
That I want to talk about, and that's the faith,
family and friends and that you say, you said that
they played a big role in your recovery. So yeah,
so can you share, Like, I mean, what exactly did
these three s? What did they do for you during
(36:52):
your darkness moment? What made faith like these particular things?
What made those things special for you?
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Well? I can begin to answer that by telling you this.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
When you think that God is somewhere else, if you
think he's hiding me, if you think he doesn't want
to spend time with you, if you think he's not interested,
you're wrong. If you think your family would not do
anything for you anything, okay, then you just.
Speaker 4 (37:26):
That's the mistake. And your friends, those.
Speaker 5 (37:29):
Who truly know you deeply know you will always be there.
And so the first thing about the three f's is
they've always been there, They'll always be there, and they're
there right now. And we can we deceive ourselves by thinking, no,
nobody's gonna want to be my friend. People are going
(37:51):
to run away from me in my life, and my
family's going to look down on me.
Speaker 4 (37:55):
And who knows where God was?
Speaker 5 (37:56):
Because God didn't help when I was going through my
most difficult time, and we put ourselves on an island,
and all of a sudden it stof sitting on an
island all by ourselves, and that never ever the case.
So I had to and I and it came from
talking to a lot of friends, my family, but a
lot of friends too, who would who would get on
(38:19):
the phone with me and we would talk. And these
aren't people that just say, hey, if you need something,
just call me. It was like, if you need something
and you need me to be there tomorrow morning, I
will be there tomorrow morning.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
Which which makes them feel like they're right there in
that moment.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
So I think that was probably my biggest takeaway about
about friends, family and faith. And you know, I was
angry at God. I will I will definitely admit that
I was angry at God. I first my God. When
I was involved in pornography, I had this picture of
(38:57):
taking God and putting him in a room and locking
the doors that he couldn't see anything that I was
doing or I was smart one, well yeah he was.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
God was.
Speaker 5 (39:08):
God was over my shoulder, looking over my shoulder every
bit of the way, and so here I thought I
was being this tricky guy and and trying to try
to have, you know, work it out my way for
it sort of work to my But no, those people
are always there.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
But but I will.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
Say that we do need to I have a theory
that we we are the culmination doctor rowe of everything
we have done, sped and thought. Now, unfortunately, when we
have a choice, we'd like to represent ourselves by the
(39:44):
good things. And those things that that we don't take
ownership of end up being inside of us and they
eat away at us.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
And if you want to truly be free, and if you.
Speaker 5 (39:59):
Want to live in a way that will make you
feel like you are one hundred percent alive, take take
take account of all of you. Okay, let coaches, and
it's easy to talk about the championship, cap championships and
the great things that have happened in your career. No,
(40:20):
we don't like to talk about when we got fired
from a job or when we lost to any game.
For the things or the culmination of everything. So why
I mean, just stand up and say here's who I am.
I didn't have to do that, but there's something deep
in me that may convinced me that if I'm gonna
if I'm gonna do this right. If I'm going to
(40:41):
reinvent myself, I'm gonna reinvent myself as someone who can
openly and honestly talk about everything I've done and that
ownership is so strong. Oh you talk about you talk
about really getting right with yourself, and if you can
(41:02):
do that just with one person, doctor Rowe, it can
be one person that can start there. Believe me, because
it isn't like there are sinless people in the world. Hey,
we have all sinned, we have done things, we all
hide things. But I have a favorite, favorite little slogan
I like to talk about when we hide things.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
And when we run.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
Running never works out because when we run, the person
that chases never tires.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Now think about that, they never tire.
Speaker 5 (41:34):
You can run as long as you want, but eventually
somebody's going to catch up to you, whatever that might
be in your particular situation. And I can't remember if
I read this somewhere or I just said just popped
in my head one day, but it is so true.
He's going to only run for so long. We're usually
running from ourselves, which is really crazy. Yeah, you why
(41:56):
not just you know, look in the mirror and say, Okay,
I'm done running.
Speaker 4 (41:59):
I did those things. I'm not happy about doing that.
I'm embarrassed, but it's.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
Part of me, part of what makes me human. And
to know all of me is to know all of me,
and I just it's been huge for me and it's
allowed me to rebound forward and do some of the
things that I'm able to do.
Speaker 4 (42:19):
And it's exciting. It's exciting.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Like I said, it's hard to believe us that our
time is up. And you know, but this has been
a conversation. But before you go, if you know, I
have to ask you, because this is the famous question
at the end of all of my interviews. Are you
know what advice would you give about building resilience to
someone who is currently experiencing adversity and struggling to see
(42:45):
a way forward, who is devastated just as deep down
as you were.
Speaker 5 (42:51):
Yes, the first, very first thing is whether you believe
this or not. Begin to create in your mind a
situation where this is going to be okay, you are
going to make it through to the next day. You're
going to make it through to the next year.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
Pain like the.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Death of a child is I've heard I've heard this
said many times, is like a scar on your arm.
The scar will always be there, but it won't be
it won't be so sensitive to the touch that it was.
Two days after the scar, you know, begin to heal
on your arm. It'll be years later. The gar will
(43:35):
still be there, but it won't hurt like I did
there there it will it will be. There will be
great memories though. That's the first thing. And give yourself
some credit, folks, and believe that that there is a
better life for you, and that your life will benefit
somehow from everything that's happened to you. And and then
(43:56):
the second thing is this. I believe that resilience is
like a muscle. And the more we exercise a muscle.
So let's say something happens tomorrow and we want to
really bail out on ourselves, and we don't, and we
stick to it. We do what we know to do.
We go to the three f's, we begin to work
on grief, and we get through that. Do you know
(44:18):
how much easier it is the next time when something
not that drastic, but something else happens. It's almost like, well,
I've exercised that resilience muscle. It's in good shape. It
knows how to respond and you get through the next one,
then you get through the next one and the next one,
and you don't become invincible, but you become very good
(44:40):
at understanding what perspective is and knowing how to deal
with things that are very uncomfortable, that you don't want
to deal with, but that you have to. So that
would mean my I want everybody to think about that.
It's a muscle and you can either ignore it or
you can use it. And if you use it, it
will pay off a billion times over.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
No, I can. I couldn't agree with you more. It
is definitely a muscle.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I can tell you the way that I approach things
now in comparison to the way that I approach things
when I first started this show in October from twenty three,
I think about resilience in a totally different.
Speaker 3 (45:19):
Way, and I attack life in a different way.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
So I tell you, yes, that's awesome, that's great to hear.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
Good, But thank you Randy Brown for sharing your incredible
journey with us.
Speaker 3 (45:32):
I mean, your testament is a.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
I mean, your story is a testament to the power
of resilience and the impact of turning adversity into an
opportunity for growth and empowerment. I absolutely truly appreciate your
openness and the wisdom that you share growth. So how
can listeners find very much yes, no, of course. Now
(45:55):
how can listeners find and connect with.
Speaker 3 (45:57):
You if they would like to book you for speaking?
Speaker 5 (46:01):
The best way to connect with me, it's very simple.
My Nichols are RB, Randy Brown RB, and he's a coach,
So I'm RB at coach RB dot com. That is
the most direct.
Speaker 4 (46:14):
Path to me.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Send me an email and tell me that that you
heard the show and follow up with any questions or
any inquiries that you might have. But rather than tending
people to social media or this or that, I just
say RB, COACHRB. It'll get to me and we would
be thrilled to hear from from anybody and everybody from
the from the show, and thank you so much for
(46:38):
this opportunity. And I believe in dropping seeds, doctor Rowe,
and I I know that every time that that I'm
on a podcast, and every time I hear a podcast,
that there are little nuggets that can can be taken
into people's lives, into their memory that they might not
use in this moment, but they could use it down
the road. And I think that's what's so great about
(46:59):
podcasts and what you do is you are a seed
planter and you drop seeds every day and those seeds
you won't even know it, but you're you're saving lives,
you're changing lives because you're dropping these seeds. And people
are gonna they're gonna take that seeds, they're gonna bury it,
they're gonna take care of it, nurture it, and it's
gonna grow and it's gonna be an incredible part of
(47:19):
their life and you don't even know it.
Speaker 4 (47:22):
So keep doing what you're doing. Thank you so much. Well.
Speaker 1 (47:25):
I receive that openly and wholeheartedly, So thank you, Thank
you so much.
Speaker 4 (47:31):
Well.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
I was gonna ask you if you have any last
words words of encouragement for the listeners, but you gave
me some words of encouragement for me.
Speaker 4 (47:38):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (47:39):
Well, yeah, my partying shot, my partying shot is this,
when it gets really, really difficult, we.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
Have a choice.
Speaker 5 (47:47):
We can quit, fit or get We know what quit is.
That means we're gonna continue with life, but we're gonna
be a shell of ourselves because we're just gonna We're
just gonna sit and have our pity part here, but get.
The get part is you go get whatever you want.
You get what you find, a life that you want
(48:08):
out there in the throes of adversity, and you go
get it. And for me, I went, like in basketball,
if you need the ball, you got to go rebound it.
I went and got a rebound and I rebounded forward
and it's made all the difference in my life.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
So let's go get. That's what I think.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
We're either gonna quit or get, but we're gonna go get.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
We're gonna hustle, We're gon that ball.
Speaker 4 (48:33):
That's right, that's right, let's go get it. Get what
you want.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
I love it well ready. I appreciate your message of
hope and transformation.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
I wish you and your family nothing but blessings and abundance.
Speaker 3 (48:45):
Please take care.
Speaker 4 (48:47):
Thank you so much, doctor Rowe.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
So it's Randy Brown.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Everyone be sure to join me next time for more
uplifting stories and insights on resilience. Until then, keep pushing forward,
embrace the journey, and remember that every setback says lead
to a greater comeback. Doctor Rowe, signing off,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!