August 19, 2025 • 47 mins
One year ago today, Rowan Morey-Pols did not come home. A panicked family begged and pleaded for help but got little to none. They waiting over 52 hours for the unimaginable outcome... His biological father murdered Rowan on a custodial visit.
Today, please wear an orange shirt and smile in remembrance of this handsome boy! Life this family in your hearts, your thoughts, and your prayers during this hard time.
Please check out THE ROWAN PROJECT here:
https://therowanproject.org/
Voices Against Filicide Website:
https://voicesagainstfilicide.odoo.com/
Contact the family:
polsfamily@outreach.com
Follow Brandi Morey-Pols:
Facebook - Brandi Morey-Pols
TikTok - brandimarie26
Instagram - dollbb55
GoFundme:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/show-love-and-support-for-brandi-and-family?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet_ai&utm_content=amp9v2&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link
Subscribe to Voices Against Filicide here on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/voices-against-filicide/id1831354515
Subscribe to Voices Against Filicide here on Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2mekJwefZvdVJbkPpHIYr8?si=b4f57b4484794e48
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/like-mother-like-murder--6210055/support.
Today, please wear an orange shirt and smile in remembrance of this handsome boy! Life this family in your hearts, your thoughts, and your prayers during this hard time.
Please check out THE ROWAN PROJECT here:
https://therowanproject.org/
Voices Against Filicide Website:
https://voicesagainstfilicide.odoo.com/
Contact the family:
polsfamily@outreach.com
Follow Brandi Morey-Pols:
Facebook - Brandi Morey-Pols
TikTok - brandimarie26
Instagram - dollbb55
GoFundme:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/show-love-and-support-for-brandi-and-family?utm_campaign=fp_sharesheet_ai&utm_content=amp9v2&utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link
Subscribe to Voices Against Filicide here on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/voices-against-filicide/id1831354515
Subscribe to Voices Against Filicide here on Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2mekJwefZvdVJbkPpHIYr8?si=b4f57b4484794e48
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/like-mother-like-murder--6210055/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Like Mother Like Murder. I am Rachel and
I'm Heather. We bring you the good, the badass.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And the crime.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is Like Mother, Like Murder.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hello, and welcome back to Like Mother, Like Murder, your
favorite true crime mom cast where.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
We bring mom related crime.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Each and every week, my amazing co host Heather and
I take turns sharing stories of missing persons, murdered mothers,
moms who commit the crimes, survivors, and much more. Another
amazing thing that we've had the opportunity to do is
be a platform and give family members, daughters and mothers,
(01:12):
a listening ear and an open heart. Heather and I
have had the honor to work alongside two mothers who
lost their children to philicide last year. In twenty twenty four,
Brandy Moury Poles and Hope Houton came on and shared
about their children, who they were, what they loved, memories
(01:33):
that they will hold on to forever, and then they
talked about the unimaginable loss of their children being taken
by phylicide, the murder of a child or children by
the hands of a parent. Today, I am going to
be re releasing our episode with Brandy Moury Poles because
(01:55):
it was one year ago to date that Brandy sat
waiting for her precious son, Rowan to be brought home
to her. He was supposed to be home by nine
in the morning, and yet the minutes went by and
the worry grew with each passing moment. Brandy knew something
was wrong. Yet through the episode you're about to hear
(02:18):
again or for the first time, the worry and the
gut feeling that things weren't right didn't matter, because it
was over fifty two hours that Brandy and her family
had to wait to find out the news that would
ultimately shatter their hearts into a million pieces, the news
that Rowan had been murdered by his biological father before
(02:40):
he had turned the gun on himself. In this episode,
you'll hear about the red flags, the failures by so
many and so much more, and you'll hear a mother
who was broken in a way that no one should
ever have to be. Through her pain and through her grief,
she she has vowed and promised in Rowan's honor and remembrance,
(03:04):
to stop this from happening to other children, to help
lower the statistic of philicide that seems to be growing
at a rapid rate. She had already made changes within one.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Year of her son's loss.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
She has already made changes within one year of losing
her son. She has fought to push a new law
into the Michigan Congress, the Rowan Act that was just
voted on last week and unanimously passed. The Rowan Act
is an amendment to the Amber Alert. She has created
(03:41):
the Rowan Project that will be a light and resource
for families in need, and already has started helping parents.
Each day is different for Brandy and all who knew
and loved Rowan, but one thing remains the same, the
love that Brandy had for her beautiful baby boy, her
to make changes that will help others. And in Brandy's words,
(04:06):
Rowan may have beat her to heaven, but she's got
some work to do down here, and then she will
come home to him and they'll be together again. Here
is our first interview with Brandy.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Today.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
We have a mother in need of all of the love,
all of the support, all of the warriors to join
her in the fight to make a change, a change
that is too late to help her precious son, but
can hopefully helped the next family and child. We have
a mother who lost her son in a horrific way
only forty three days ago. We have a mother who
(05:10):
lost her son in a murder suicide where his life
was taken by the father before turning the gun on himself.
We have a mother who tried to tell the courts,
who tried to tell others that something was wrong. We
have a mother who made a report when her son
wasn't brought home when he was supposed to be, and
she wasn't taken seriously. We have a mother who looked
(05:32):
the judge in the eye and was turned away the
day before her son was found murdered in a home.
We have a mother whose pride and joy was taken,
and today you get to hear from this mother. Today
we have Brandy Maury Poles. Heather and I sat down
and talked with Brandy. She shares stories of who Rowan
(05:55):
was and the things that made him so incredibly amazing.
She shared things he loved and was looking forward to,
as well as how much he was loved by his
siblings and his friends. She talks about custody over the
years and different problems that arose, and then she gets
into the day he was not brought home to her
and how her life will never be the same. We
(06:18):
will have a call to action at the end of
the episode of what you can do to try to
help stop this from happening to the next child, because
Rowan's murder cannot go without some sort of change to
help someone else. Things need to change, and Brandy wants
to be the person to make that happen for others
because of Rowan. Here is Brandy. First of all, thank
(06:44):
you so much for joining us today. The conversation that
we're gonna have is painful, it's heartbreaking, and the thing is,
we need to share Rowan's story. So can we start
with you talking about him first, kind of telling us
who he was, his interests, just all about him.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Crap, I'm gonna start off crying right away.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
We'll cry right along with you.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh he he. He was so so utterly spoiled and
such a sweet, sweet boy like and my husband would
get on me sometimes for spoiling him too much. And
now I'm so glad that I did, like because who
knows how he had it on the other side, And
that's I think that's a lot of the mom and
(07:27):
me that took over and just over mommed him. But
he he was really funny. He one of the things
I missed the most is turing his feet running to
my bed every morning and jumping in like he had
his little blanket like Spider Man and would jump into
bed with me. He he was raised by a hairdresser,
(07:51):
so he was a bit of a softie, you know. Well,
he loved golf because we're all golfers. But the one
thing he couldn't wait for was to play football this
fall because his big brother Bryson, he's thirteen, he plays
tackle football. He wanted to be just like him. And
his first game was the Sunday after he was murdered.
(08:15):
So he didn't get to even play or practice with
this team.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
But his team's all wearing stickers for Rowan and they
never even met him.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
He made friends so easily. His poor little friends are
just having such a hard time through this. It's like
going through this and watching the ones that love him
lose him too is just so heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, the impact that a six year old can have
on so many is so real.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
What he did in his little bit of life was
just brought so much light and love to our family.
So you have to understand we're blended. My husband and
I are, and between the two of us, we have
seven kids, and he was the youngest, and I know,
so my oldest is twenty seven and he's married, so
(09:12):
she's my daughter. Then my other daughter's twenty two, then
twenty then his son is eighteen thirteen, and then Rowan
would have been seven, So he was the youngest out
of all these older kids, and they they just their
big thing there. The older ones would always look at
me and be like, well, we didn't have that because
(09:33):
they see how much I spoiled Roan, and like, yes,
you did. I just didn't have an iPhone and all
the stuff to record everything that you did. And it
just worked. It just blended so beautifully. Like we just
had a big family vacation to Silver Lake where we
took all of our off road vehicles and my jeep
(09:55):
in his Bronco. We all went up. There was twelve
of us that stayed up there and went off roading
on the dunes all weekend and that was our best
family trip all together.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, and that's something that you guys are gonna have forever,
and talking about all of the siblings, that is it's
so painful to know they're experiencing with their ages. I
just think about, like how much they played such a
big impact in his growth and raising him as well,
(10:28):
right alongside you.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
My daughter, Shelby was second mom. I mean, she literally
looks just like me and has my voice, except for
she's about five inches shorter. And they were very close
and she struggles a lot like my boys are more quiet.
They won't go to grief counseling because they're just being boys.
(10:51):
But my daughter is see going to see someone, I
think next week. But our whole family has just been
shattered by this. Yeah, you don't realize how much that
one little person meant, just such a huge part of
our family.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
There was like so many it's nothing that you can
expect or it's it's nothing you can expect or it's
nothing that should ever happen.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I did. I did expect it. I did expect it.
You did expect it? And kiss me? It does? It? Does? I?
And in talking about him, so, I don't know if
you guys you've read up on it or whatnot. But
his dad had shaved him bald four times. Wow, because
I was a hair stylist. How it's better to get
(11:40):
back at someone than to do that, which is just.
And and he was so little when he first did it,
that I did that, I wouldn't show a reaction when
I pick him up, I'd just be like, hi, baby,
grab him and leave. I would not give him any
inkling that it bothered me, so hopefully he would stop
the first time he did it was twenty twenty and
(12:04):
I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and we
had to adjourn a court to lower his childt support
because I had to have my breasts removed. So he
sent him Hope Bald. And that's when I knew what
I was dealing with. And I knew in my heart
that CPS or in any front of the court or anyone,
(12:26):
no one would do anything about it. They'd say, oh,
it's just hair. So I didn't really do anything the
first time. Well, the second time he did it was
just before my oldest son's wedding. A week before the wedding,
he just shaved all this hair off. So in any
of the big pictures that you see in our family,
my son's wedding, he's if he's got a hat on,
(12:49):
it's because he had been shaved bald. So then after
that time, I put him into counseling. We had counseling
for about a year, and then I tried mediation with
Mike to talk about it. And then finally the fourth
time he did it was the last time. And I
think it's the picture that everyone's seen that he's completely
(13:09):
to the scalp. And I could tell when Rong got
home that he had just done it just before he
left the house, like he hadn't even seen himself because
he had a winter cap on. It was twenty seven
degrees out that day, and I got him home and
he took his hat off. I'm like, hi, babe, and
I don't react, and my heart just sinks. And so
(13:30):
later that night I go to give him a bath
and he gets out and he's just staring in the mirror,
looking at himself for the longest time, and he started
to cry and he said, Mom, I look funny. I said, oh, baby, no,
you don't. You're beautiful. You just got a whole lot
more face.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yeah, it's trying to trying to just turn it around
for him.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
But at that point he had been telling me how
Dad was sleeping all day, he was only eating toast
and I saw how disgusting his house was and then
the head shaving things. So I called CPS. I'm like, okay,
it's time something has to be done, right, and that
it was. There's such a joke. It was such a joke.
(14:18):
It's this young girl who didn't take me seriously. Could
have I could tell she could care less, that she
thought it wasn't a big deal. She came over and
she took all my statements and looked at my home
and whatnot. And then she went up to Mike's house
twice and he didn't answer. I mean, he didn't work
(14:39):
and he can't drive. If he was home, he's there. Yeah, yeah,
So she called and called and called, and finally he answered,
and he refused to let the CPS girl come out
until he knew the allegations. So she told him. So
then she goes out there, she comes back to me,
(15:01):
to my home, has the audacity to stand in my
house and tell me, well, his house was immaculate. Yeah,
of course it was. You told him what the problems were.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You told him you were coming there to look at it,
and therefore someone's going to clean up to look a
certain right.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
So then so then you fast forward. We're in court
this past year in front of the judge, and Mike
was his own attorney, and I was on the stand
for at least two hours. Guys, this was just for
court for what school he was going to, and he
was already in it. I'd already put him in school.
Mike had fought me every way on every single thing.
(15:42):
So for two years I had him in preschool at
a church and then DK at Vowels. Mike didn't take
him on his days. He didn't go to school for
two years on Mike's sign and it's legal in Michigan
until you're six years old. So we were arguing over
what school, and we were in court and he had
(16:04):
me on the stand for about two hours, and he
brought up the CPS thing and I said, yes, because
you did this, this, this, and this. The judge dreamed me.
He looked at me and was just he goes, not
for one second do I believe he was only eating toast.
Got my eyes starting to twitch. I just yeah, anger
(16:26):
and it is. It's infuriating. Even my own attorney that
I had at the time was angry with me. They
were all like, what a gross misuse of the resources.
That's for children that need it. Yeah, And where are
they today?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What are they saying today saying that exactly?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I've not gotten any response out of the judge. I'm
sure it's not gonna but I mean for him to.
And here's where my confusion comes in. That judge signed
a core order when our case first started. Why do
(17:09):
I need to have his permission to get my child back?
Why did I have to file an emergency motion? Did
he not believe his own words to his first order
that he Why do I need his permission again for
something he's already signed? Why did I have to wait
fifty two hours? Fifty two hours? You imagine what that
(17:32):
was like. I knew, I knew at nine oh three
that morning something was wrong.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
I knew a weekend because we had been in mediation
with Mike for most of the year, because I had
moved about an hour and a half away, and we
were going to put him in a private Christian school,
and I have this great, big life for him, and
we were going back and forth and back and forth,
and it was getting down to.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
School was starting within a week. And I think he
knew he was going to lose, and so he took
his life at about ten am, because you get like
a half hour leeway in the court order to be
late or whatnot. And at nine oh three I was
just I sit by the front window waiting for him,
(18:21):
and I knew something was wrong. So by ten am
I called the Sheriff's department to ask for a wellness
check because Mike had done this before, I think twice before,
where he had kept him three or four hours where
I wasn't able to get in touch with him, find him,
and the agony and the not knowing and just this
(18:45):
was different. This was worse, and I knew it was
worse because by the time we got to eighteen hours,
no communication, no nothing. I mean, Mike throughout the years
had manipulated the communication between the two of us so badly.
He pretended he didn't have a cell phone, which they
(19:07):
found two. Then we would only communicate by email. Then
he would block me. Then he said it would only
have a landline and have an answering machine and shut
the answering machine off. So that's what was happening. The
day that he went missing, that Monday, was I I
would call and call the house and it would just
go straight to you have reached. There's no answering machine,
(19:30):
you know what I mean, Right, So I called the police.
They went out, they did a wellness check, they said,
no one's there. Well, when I dropped rowing off, there
was a white camper to the right of the driveway
and a black truck in the driveway. Well, they went
out and there was that wasn't there. So that's when
(19:51):
we put out a missing and I started telling right,
and so I thought, you know, maybe he's they're out
camping because they had been camping like two years ago.
And so probably about six o'clock, I called the sheriffs
again and said, you know, can we get well another
wellness check? And finally my husband's like, you know what,
(20:14):
I'm gonna call the sheriff's department in our county, Kent County, Okay.
And they actually came to our house and he goes,
I've already called all the phone numbers that I have
for Mike. I'm like, how many do you have? Hid
four different phone numbers. I'm like what, wow, And then
he's yeah. So the Kent County sheriff said, get in
(20:36):
your car now and go up to Isabella County sheriffs
get in their faces and tell them how scared you
are for this kid because of what's going on. Right,
And we did, and we drove an hour and a half.
It was probably one thirty in the morning, so technically
Tuesday morning. We got up there and I'm pleading, I'm like, listen,
you don't understand. This is different. He doesn't keep him
(20:59):
overnight like as he does it, not not communicate this
long like that there's something wrong. And I even tried
to play it off like I was worried about Mike too,
which I really definitely was not. But yeah, when we
would when we went to leave, my husband was like,
you should have been more hysterical. I'm like, no, I
wanted to be calm and respectful. So they would write
(21:21):
me seriously, write nothing. It didn't matter. They they didn't,
they didn't care, they didn't they they placated me. They
just were You could tell they were standing there just
to listen and then get rid of me. And it
was so sickening to drive home that night without him,
(21:44):
and then I didn't sleep am I my older kids
I listed him as missing that night and uh, my
older kids Bailey and Shelby called me it like or
four in the morning and they're like, Mom, what is
going on. I'm like, calm down, we're gonna find him.
(22:04):
It's gonna be okay. And yeah, I got up and
I drove straight to my attorney's office in mot Pleasant.
My husband stayed home just in case, you know, he
dropped him off a day later or something. I got
to my attorney's office, Gavin mcclintick, wonderful attorney, such a
good good man, and he was already there, already at
(22:28):
work on doing the emergency motion, all the things we
had to file. So I went with him to the
courthouse to file the emergency motion for the judge to sign,
and I stood there waiting. I talked to my caseworker, I,
you know, just hanging around. So then when we were
done at the courthouse and that we just had to
(22:49):
wait for the judge to sign it, we couldn't figure
out what to do, like, you know, where do you look?
What do you do? So we went to my mom's
for a little bit and then and they said, you
know what, forget Isabella County Sheriff's go to the state police.
So I did with my husband and my step son,
and I start talking to them, telling them what's going on.
(23:10):
And I could tell they're taking me serious, they care.
They were okay, And so then the exactly in the
the cop said to me, he goes, listen, we're going
to go out and do another wellness check, and if
they come back he's still not there, then we'll listen
to him as missing. And I just start bawling. I'm like, finally, yeah, yeah,
(23:33):
that's what you need. Yeah. So I was at the
state Police post and actually the state Police didn't get
a chance to go out there to do the wellness
check because the Isabella County Sheriff's already there. And they
came back and I was standing by the window and
the dispatcher, a woman from the sheriff's department, called the
(23:54):
state police and said, this is a civil matter. We've
already spoke to her, sent her on her way.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
That is absolutely ridiculous. It is not a civil matter.
This is a criminal matter at this point. I mean,
he has to take and like, what in the world.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Well, and here's the thing. They think it's civil because
it's a custody thing. But here's the thing. He's a felon.
And I had told them throughout the years, I had
told this Isabella County Sheriff's apartment, CPS, friend of the court,
my attorney, that he had guns. You're not allowed to
(24:35):
have guns if you're a felon. Obviously he had them,
and I knew he did, so that should have made
it criminal right then and there, but they didn't take
the time to look that up or give a crap.
We even told him that night, that Monday night, at
one thirty in the morning when we got up there,
that he has guns and nothing. So we went home
(24:56):
without him and I had sleep. Did I sleep? I
slept a little. I did not sleep that night, No
one slept. But then Wednesday morning, we got up and
our plan, what was our plan? I don't even remember.
We're gonna go back up. We're gonna go back up, Uh,
(25:18):
try and file another ex parte. Yeah, we're gonna try
and file another emergency motion. But in the morning, my
girlfriend was like, you gotta just how about just go
about your day as usual. I was already being contacted
by some news people to be interviewed that he was missing,
(25:38):
and so I had an appointment to get my eyelashes
filled because I'd been crying so much. They looked like
strangled to Randela's. So I left the house and as
soon as I left, Kent County Sheriff's pulled in and yeah,
and my husband was left home for over an hour,
(25:58):
about an hour and twenty minute, knowing that I was
coming home to that. Yah. I left my appointment just
talking to my girlfriend. You know, have have you heard
more stuff?
Speaker 6 (26:13):
Whatever?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
There's there was another news article that came out or something,
and I was reading it and then I got in
the car to come home. I turned down our street
and there were there was a Kent County sheriff and
an undercover sheriff two houses down. And I pull on
my driveway. There's no cars there or anything. And I
go to go to the backyard to talk to my
(26:34):
husband and be like nosy neighbor and be like, oh
my god, do you see the cops? So the neighbor's
house kind of thing, and he wasn't out there, and
I've I walked into the house and it's all.
Speaker 8 (26:48):
I passed over at my church first well and my
husband crying and my parents like a.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Full metal wall. He hit me.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
There was like six or seven sheriffs Sarah from Kent County.
We still don't know time of death with nobody's reached
out to us, no detectives, no nothing, and we don't
have anything.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I don't We talked to Michael Maine, the sheriffs from
the Isabelle County, and he said it did look like
to them that he had been sleeping when it happened,
which I I pray for. But the problem know that
when go ahead, Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.
(27:46):
I just know when we were talking on the phone.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You had said when they first went he could have
still been alive, yes, and then when they went back
out there there it was no longer there, so they
would have done their job.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yes, yes, so that camper never left the property. So
it's a long piece of property that goes back towards
a river, and the camper was back on the back
part of the property. So if they would have just
searched more or taken us seriously right, I do believe
(28:23):
he passed away, and my heart, I think it was
Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, but it was not on Monday.
I know that because there's we've got body cam footage
and we do have a police report that we got
from would TV eight. We are getting stuff from newspeople,
not from detectives or anyone involved. And the body cam
(28:48):
footage shows on Monday the black truck was in the
garage and then I think it was Tuesday afternoon they
found the white camper on the property. Which is the
most disturbing part is there's several vehicles on the property
and so's his bike and there's like a little trailer
(29:08):
behind the bike that he would or ride rowing around in.
It was freshly pulled up to that trailer and all
the blinds were pulled. They were inside that trailer. They
were there and they I guess there were no bullet
holes at that time on Tuesday afternoon. By Wednesday morning
there was a bullet hole and his sisters had found them.
Speaker 10 (29:35):
I don't understand how fifty two hours you said it's
the Isabella County Sheriff's right, So they not only.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
Didn't do a wellness chat to the best of their
ability or even to a basic ability, right, they are
not communicating with you. It's the Kent County Sheriff that
has to come in and help you.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Guys.
Speaker 7 (30:06):
You still have no information from the Isabella County Sheriff
who they are the ones who need to do the
investigation because it's there.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
And they still have not told you anything. Right, right,
they didn't. They didn't tell us they found the camp
understand that they never told us that they found the
camphor on the property. We didn't know that. We didn't
know that until they told told me that he was gone.
So it's been five weeks now, just over and I
(30:42):
try to process this in a healthy way. I've tried
to flip the script on my thinking and tell myself
that God chose me to be his mom for that
little bit of time that I got to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
He definitely did choose you to be his mom.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
But what I want from this, I want a row
An alert, not an Amber alert. Ambela alerts are almost
impossible to get. The copy even told us that I
want to row an alert for parental kidnap children. You
have that thirty minute window, yes, to get your child
if there's a breakdown of the car or whatever happens,
(31:22):
you're running, late weather, whatever, you have that thirty minutes.
If there's something going on in that thirty minutes that
you're going to be later than that. In this day
and age, with all the communications that we have available
to us, you should be communicating. So there's no communication
and that child isn't back to that other parent, the
police should be able to get involved. I shouldn't have
(31:43):
to petition to judge exactly. I shouldn't have to petition
a judge that's already signed in order saying my kids
should be home at that time. I shouldn't have to
ask him twice to get my son home safe and
he said no.
Speaker 7 (31:57):
Yeah, I don't understand how they turn, Like how there's
more the regulation around child support than there is for custody.
Like let's get real, like, yes, you guys care so
much about child support, which, don't get me wrong, is
a great thing. But where are all those rules and
(32:17):
regulations when it comes to custody If someone misses a
child support payment? There you go, you're, oh, you gotta warrant,
You're you're out like.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
You are on call.
Speaker 7 (32:29):
I think you you are missing custody And there's not
something more severe?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
I mean, and and what that would do if there
is a if we do, by God's grace, git a
rowan alert, all those high conflict cases that front of
the court deal with, you're gonna deal with that a
lot less because that person's gonna go to jail that's
causing that conflict, and that does I mean, the evidence
(32:56):
was there so much that he was abuse, saying Rowan
and that CPS worker. There needs to be more money
allotted to CPS so they can take the time to
recognize emotional and mental abuse, because emotional and mental abuse
are going to lead to physical and or death almost always.
(33:19):
And he was failed on so many levels, and I
fought for him so hard. M hmm, you did. It's
just frustrating now knowing that, I mean, God chose me
(33:39):
to make this change is how I try to look
at it. I hate that it had to be my
son's life, but things do need to change. And there's
so many people out there dealing with it. You wouldn't
believe them on the stories. They're people reaching out to
me that they're dealing with this. I want to I
(34:00):
want his life to mean something and mean that no
other child will be lost to something so stupid.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Yeah, we talk about it a lot in our episodes
where we talk about there as so many points along
the way leading up where this could have stopped, where
this could have been handled, And yours is your story
is that there's so many places where you fought, you
(34:32):
thought you fought, and they did not back you up,
and it could have made one of a difference.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
So the CPS worker when she came back to my
house that day to tell me, you know, his house
is immaculate, this, that, and the other, and you know
it's it's he gets to take care of his hair
the way he wants on his parenting time. It's hygiene
or whatever. I looked at her, I go, if it
was a little girl, you wouldn't say that. True, And
she had nothing to say food true. It was abuse
(35:04):
the whole time. And I just felt so unheard and
just I just had this gut feeling. It was. I mean,
if you're doing something so blatantly obvious by shaving a
kid's head, what else are you doing? Yeah to this
poor boy? Like how that girl, that CPS girl, didn't
(35:27):
think of that, Like it's just mind bobble. It's infuriating actually,
And he just was such a sweet, innocent little boy.
He loved life, he loved he loved bragging about himself.
(35:48):
Bout what a great golfer he was.
Speaker 7 (35:51):
His golf swing He's good, wasn't he?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
He was so good? He has a big brother and
I stepped in that are pretty good golfers too, not
so much me, but he he just had a light
about him and he was super sweet. He had this
(36:17):
Spider Man costume that was skin tight, and he was tiny,
skinny little kid anyway, so it was hilarious to see
him in it, and he'd like sneak around the house
and pretend. And then one day, it was like a
few weeks after I got him that costume, I'm looking
at a picture of him on my phone that I
had taken of him in it, and I'm like, oh
my gosh, that's not a spider.
Speaker 11 (36:38):
It was a cockroach. So my husband started calling him
Lacu garata. But I told all I told all the
older kids.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
I'm like, don't you dare tell him that's Spider Man.
Damn it. I have literally done this.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Thing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
He was. He was fun. I think my daughter ratted
us out at some point though, that he knew the cockroach.
We were out. We were all golfing. At one point,
my husband and I were in one cart and Bryson
and Rowan were in another one, and Rowan went to
slide his finger in the cupholder to grab his drink
(37:33):
and he caught his finger. And if this will tell
you how I was as a mother with him, he
starts screaming for Mommy, turns around to come run to me,
but limps.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
His finger.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
He was like that here when we were on vacation
and uh so over like and my whole family's there.
He was wrestling with his big brother Brayson, and his
teeth went into his knee and he had like a
teeny little cut on his knee. He limped like drutlet.
It was like dragging his leg for a whole day.
(38:20):
He was a joy and he is really really missed
by all of us. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, I wanted to say, because when you were talking
about how you were unheard in all of those moments,
you were, I want to say, disrespected by so many
people as you tried to seek help from those who
are obligated to help you.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yeah, and if they're not okay, it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
And there's nothing that we could say or do to
help make any of the easier. But I can tell
you our hearts are with you a million percent and
that we're going to do what we can to talk
about Rowan you would share really's story and to help
in any way we can with Rowan's rights to make
a difference for other children's and families. However you need us,
(39:08):
we want to be there.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Our own family,
thanks you, and I'm so so thankful that you're helping
get his story out.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
First, I want to say thank you from all of
me to Brandy for talking with us through the tears,
through the laughter, as beautiful memories were shared, and through
the horrific tragedy that has shaken your world. We are
so sorry, from the bottom of our hearts. You were
Rowan's mama for a reason. It wasn't long enough, but
(39:44):
you gave him all of you for those six years,
and he has that eternally. You'll fight for him the
same way you did while he was here, and he
will always know you're endless love. And this next part
where you fight for justice, fight for a difference. We
hope to be a support system for you and your
family in any way. As I mentioned in our conversation
(40:10):
with Brandy, things.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Need to change.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
We see way too often children harmed, abused mentally, emotionally
and physically, and that can lead to even worse, Just
like in Rowan's case. The ultimate goal here would be
to create a Rowan's law to help the families that
are fighting with custody agreements and not having the other
(40:34):
parent meet their end of the contractual agreement. These are
put into place for a reason, and so when they
are broken in one way or another, the parents should
be held responsible immediately. In Rowan's case, he should have
been dropped off at nine in the morning. There was
(40:54):
no communication whatsoever from the father, and therefore at nine
to thirty am, after the allotted and agreed upon leeway
time that is given by the courts, at nine point
thirty one, that is when the parent should be able
to say, my child is not back. You need to
go and get him. Then it should be as simple
(41:15):
as that, Okay, you're right, he should be back. The
leeway is up. We are gonna go do our fucking jobs.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But no, in this.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Case, it took over fifty two hours. Yes, people went
out and knocked on a door. We don't want you
to knock on a door. We want you to knock
the door down. Then after you knock that door down,
you have the right to arrest the person for withholding
the child and not following the agreement that was put
into place. That is now criminal and it should be
(41:45):
taken seriously. As such, creating a Rowan's Law would give
the parent or guardian the ability to get the help
they need for their child in circumstances such as these,
such as parental kidnapping. I truly believe this would help
parents to be held accountable. Then if they're not, it's
(42:06):
jail time, goodbye, follow your court order, or get the
f out of here. As much as we see cases
where we talk about custody disputes, children going missing, children abused,
children murdered, Charlie and Braden Powell, Gabriel Fernandez, Kira Franchetti,
(42:31):
just to name a few, these are all cases that
CPS was involved, and Brandy she wants to find a
way to help get more funds for CPS so they
have enough employees, they have the right training necessary, the
ways to do their jobs accurately, to pay attention to
(42:53):
the mental and the emotional abuse that's happening as well,
because it leads to physical abuse, and in too many
cases it leads to murder. And in Rowan's case, Brandy
stood in front of the court. She stood in front
of the judge and they didn't take her seriously. They
didn't hear her. And that's why, right now, right here,
(43:16):
she needs to be heard. A change needs to happen
for these children, for these families. I wanted to read
two lines from Rowan's obituary. Rowan was a delightful little
boy whose laughter could light up any room. His infectious
giggles and playful nature brought joy to everyone around him.
(43:38):
He had a unique ability to find humor in the
simplest of things, making even the dullest days feel like
an adventure. Whether he was cracking jokes or pulling silly faces,
he had a knack for making people smile. Although Rowan's
time with us was brief, his impact was profound. He
(43:59):
taught us all the importance of laughter, love, and living life.
Speaker 4 (44:03):
To the fullest.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
He will be deeply missed by his family, friends, and
everyone who had the privilege of knowing him. Brandy, her husband, Brian,
Rowan's seven siblings in their beautifully combined family, Bailey, Carly, Shelby, Ethan, Aiden,
(44:26):
Marrek and Bryson, and the rest of their family are
all suffering the loss of Rowan. A GoFundMe has been
set up by a family friend for Brandy and the
family to offer support through this difficult time. Everything we
talked about today will be in the show notes, including
the Rest in Peace Rowan Morey facebook page, the GoFundMe
(44:49):
page if you're able to donate, and any other way
to follow along to help us make a change. Thank
you all for taking the time to listen to Brandy today.
Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and
prayers through this truly devastating time. We will talk to
you next Tuesday. Until then, put on an orange shirt
(45:10):
and go out of your way to make someone smile
today for Rowan.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Okay, love you by.
Speaker 12 (45:32):
My name is Hope Putin and last year I lost
my two children to phill aside, which is the murdering
of one's child or children. A battle of custody and
mental illness that led to my estranged husband taking our
kids' lives before taking his own. A silent epidemic that
(45:54):
has continued to take more lives each year, yet the
term philicide is not widely known. Join me here on
Voices against philicide as I share my story and the
stories of other parents who have lived through the unthinkable.
We speak the names of our children, and we break
(46:15):
the silence the system depends on. Because silence kills, Their
lives mattered, their voices were stolen, but ours won't be together,
we speak the truth, We honor their lives, and we
fight for change. Please subscribe to Voices Against Philicide wherever
(46:37):
you get your podcasts to join me as I navigate grief,
talk with other parents, and continue to raise awareness and
support to make changes our systems so desperately needs for
other families and especially our children. From me, hope, houtin
(46:59):
thank you. Until next time, remember be kind and always
abound in hope.
Welcome to Like Mother Like Murder. I am Rachel and
I'm Heather. We bring you the good, the badass.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
And the crime.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
This is Like Mother, Like Murder.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Hello, and welcome back to Like Mother, Like Murder, your
favorite true crime mom cast where.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
We bring mom related crime.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Each and every week, my amazing co host Heather and
I take turns sharing stories of missing persons, murdered mothers,
moms who commit the crimes, survivors, and much more. Another
amazing thing that we've had the opportunity to do is
be a platform and give family members, daughters and mothers,
(01:12):
a listening ear and an open heart. Heather and I
have had the honor to work alongside two mothers who
lost their children to philicide last year. In twenty twenty four,
Brandy Moury Poles and Hope Houton came on and shared
about their children, who they were, what they loved, memories
(01:33):
that they will hold on to forever, and then they
talked about the unimaginable loss of their children being taken
by phylicide, the murder of a child or children by
the hands of a parent. Today, I am going to
be re releasing our episode with Brandy Moury Poles because
(01:55):
it was one year ago to date that Brandy sat
waiting for her precious son, Rowan to be brought home
to her. He was supposed to be home by nine
in the morning, and yet the minutes went by and
the worry grew with each passing moment. Brandy knew something
was wrong. Yet through the episode you're about to hear
(02:18):
again or for the first time, the worry and the
gut feeling that things weren't right didn't matter, because it
was over fifty two hours that Brandy and her family
had to wait to find out the news that would
ultimately shatter their hearts into a million pieces, the news
that Rowan had been murdered by his biological father before
(02:40):
he had turned the gun on himself. In this episode,
you'll hear about the red flags, the failures by so
many and so much more, and you'll hear a mother
who was broken in a way that no one should
ever have to be. Through her pain and through her grief,
she she has vowed and promised in Rowan's honor and remembrance,
(03:04):
to stop this from happening to other children, to help
lower the statistic of philicide that seems to be growing
at a rapid rate. She had already made changes within one.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Year of her son's loss.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
She has already made changes within one year of losing
her son. She has fought to push a new law
into the Michigan Congress, the Rowan Act that was just
voted on last week and unanimously passed. The Rowan Act
is an amendment to the Amber Alert. She has created
(03:41):
the Rowan Project that will be a light and resource
for families in need, and already has started helping parents.
Each day is different for Brandy and all who knew
and loved Rowan, but one thing remains the same, the
love that Brandy had for her beautiful baby boy, her
to make changes that will help others. And in Brandy's words,
(04:06):
Rowan may have beat her to heaven, but she's got
some work to do down here, and then she will
come home to him and they'll be together again. Here
is our first interview with Brandy.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Today.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
We have a mother in need of all of the love,
all of the support, all of the warriors to join
her in the fight to make a change, a change
that is too late to help her precious son, but
can hopefully helped the next family and child. We have
a mother who lost her son in a horrific way
only forty three days ago. We have a mother who
(05:10):
lost her son in a murder suicide where his life
was taken by the father before turning the gun on himself.
We have a mother who tried to tell the courts,
who tried to tell others that something was wrong. We
have a mother who made a report when her son
wasn't brought home when he was supposed to be, and
she wasn't taken seriously. We have a mother who looked
(05:32):
the judge in the eye and was turned away the
day before her son was found murdered in a home.
We have a mother whose pride and joy was taken,
and today you get to hear from this mother. Today
we have Brandy Maury Poles. Heather and I sat down
and talked with Brandy. She shares stories of who Rowan
(05:55):
was and the things that made him so incredibly amazing.
She shared things he loved and was looking forward to,
as well as how much he was loved by his
siblings and his friends. She talks about custody over the
years and different problems that arose, and then she gets
into the day he was not brought home to her
and how her life will never be the same. We
(06:18):
will have a call to action at the end of
the episode of what you can do to try to
help stop this from happening to the next child, because
Rowan's murder cannot go without some sort of change to
help someone else. Things need to change, and Brandy wants
to be the person to make that happen for others
because of Rowan. Here is Brandy. First of all, thank
(06:44):
you so much for joining us today. The conversation that
we're gonna have is painful, it's heartbreaking, and the thing is,
we need to share Rowan's story. So can we start
with you talking about him first, kind of telling us
who he was, his interests, just all about him.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Crap, I'm gonna start off crying right away.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
We'll cry right along with you.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh he he. He was so so utterly spoiled and
such a sweet, sweet boy like and my husband would
get on me sometimes for spoiling him too much. And
now I'm so glad that I did, like because who
knows how he had it on the other side, And
that's I think that's a lot of the mom and
(07:27):
me that took over and just over mommed him. But
he he was really funny. He one of the things
I missed the most is turing his feet running to
my bed every morning and jumping in like he had
his little blanket like Spider Man and would jump into
bed with me. He he was raised by a hairdresser,
(07:51):
so he was a bit of a softie, you know. Well,
he loved golf because we're all golfers. But the one
thing he couldn't wait for was to play football this
fall because his big brother Bryson, he's thirteen, he plays
tackle football. He wanted to be just like him. And
his first game was the Sunday after he was murdered.
(08:15):
So he didn't get to even play or practice with
this team.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
But his team's all wearing stickers for Rowan and they
never even met him.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
He made friends so easily. His poor little friends are
just having such a hard time through this. It's like
going through this and watching the ones that love him
lose him too is just so heartbreaking.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, the impact that a six year old can have
on so many is so real.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
What he did in his little bit of life was
just brought so much light and love to our family.
So you have to understand we're blended. My husband and
I are, and between the two of us, we have
seven kids, and he was the youngest, and I know,
so my oldest is twenty seven and he's married, so
(09:12):
she's my daughter. Then my other daughter's twenty two, then
twenty then his son is eighteen thirteen, and then Rowan
would have been seven, So he was the youngest out
of all these older kids, and they they just their
big thing there. The older ones would always look at
me and be like, well, we didn't have that because
(09:33):
they see how much I spoiled Roan, and like, yes,
you did. I just didn't have an iPhone and all
the stuff to record everything that you did. And it
just worked. It just blended so beautifully. Like we just
had a big family vacation to Silver Lake where we
took all of our off road vehicles and my jeep
(09:55):
in his Bronco. We all went up. There was twelve
of us that stayed up there and went off roading
on the dunes all weekend and that was our best
family trip all together.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, and that's something that you guys are gonna have forever,
and talking about all of the siblings, that is it's
so painful to know they're experiencing with their ages. I
just think about, like how much they played such a
big impact in his growth and raising him as well,
(10:28):
right alongside you.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
My daughter, Shelby was second mom. I mean, she literally
looks just like me and has my voice, except for
she's about five inches shorter. And they were very close
and she struggles a lot like my boys are more quiet.
They won't go to grief counseling because they're just being boys.
(10:51):
But my daughter is see going to see someone, I
think next week. But our whole family has just been
shattered by this. Yeah, you don't realize how much that
one little person meant, just such a huge part of
our family.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
There was like so many it's nothing that you can
expect or it's it's nothing you can expect or it's
nothing that should ever happen.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
I did. I did expect it. I did expect it.
You did expect it? And kiss me? It does? It? Does? I?
And in talking about him, so, I don't know if
you guys you've read up on it or whatnot. But
his dad had shaved him bald four times. Wow, because
I was a hair stylist. How it's better to get
(11:40):
back at someone than to do that, which is just.
And and he was so little when he first did it,
that I did that, I wouldn't show a reaction when
I pick him up, I'd just be like, hi, baby,
grab him and leave. I would not give him any
inkling that it bothered me, so hopefully he would stop
the first time he did it was twenty twenty and
(12:04):
I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and we
had to adjourn a court to lower his childt support
because I had to have my breasts removed. So he
sent him Hope Bald. And that's when I knew what
I was dealing with. And I knew in my heart
that CPS or in any front of the court or anyone,
(12:26):
no one would do anything about it. They'd say, oh,
it's just hair. So I didn't really do anything the
first time. Well, the second time he did it was
just before my oldest son's wedding. A week before the wedding,
he just shaved all this hair off. So in any
of the big pictures that you see in our family,
my son's wedding, he's if he's got a hat on,
(12:49):
it's because he had been shaved bald. So then after
that time, I put him into counseling. We had counseling
for about a year, and then I tried mediation with
Mike to talk about it. And then finally the fourth
time he did it was the last time. And I
think it's the picture that everyone's seen that he's completely
(13:09):
to the scalp. And I could tell when Rong got
home that he had just done it just before he
left the house, like he hadn't even seen himself because
he had a winter cap on. It was twenty seven
degrees out that day, and I got him home and
he took his hat off. I'm like, hi, babe, and
I don't react, and my heart just sinks. And so
(13:30):
later that night I go to give him a bath
and he gets out and he's just staring in the mirror,
looking at himself for the longest time, and he started
to cry and he said, Mom, I look funny. I said, oh, baby, no,
you don't. You're beautiful. You just got a whole lot
more face.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
Yeah, it's trying to trying to just turn it around
for him.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
But at that point he had been telling me how
Dad was sleeping all day, he was only eating toast
and I saw how disgusting his house was and then
the head shaving things. So I called CPS. I'm like, okay,
it's time something has to be done, right, and that
it was. There's such a joke. It was such a joke.
(14:18):
It's this young girl who didn't take me seriously. Could
have I could tell she could care less, that she
thought it wasn't a big deal. She came over and
she took all my statements and looked at my home
and whatnot. And then she went up to Mike's house
twice and he didn't answer. I mean, he didn't work
(14:39):
and he can't drive. If he was home, he's there. Yeah, yeah,
So she called and called and called, and finally he answered,
and he refused to let the CPS girl come out
until he knew the allegations. So she told him. So
then she goes out there, she comes back to me,
(15:01):
to my home, has the audacity to stand in my
house and tell me, well, his house was immaculate. Yeah,
of course it was. You told him what the problems were.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You told him you were coming there to look at it,
and therefore someone's going to clean up to look a
certain right.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
So then so then you fast forward. We're in court
this past year in front of the judge, and Mike
was his own attorney, and I was on the stand
for at least two hours. Guys, this was just for
court for what school he was going to, and he
was already in it. I'd already put him in school.
Mike had fought me every way on every single thing.
(15:42):
So for two years I had him in preschool at
a church and then DK at Vowels. Mike didn't take
him on his days. He didn't go to school for
two years on Mike's sign and it's legal in Michigan
until you're six years old. So we were arguing over
what school, and we were in court and he had
(16:04):
me on the stand for about two hours, and he
brought up the CPS thing and I said, yes, because
you did this, this, this, and this. The judge dreamed me.
He looked at me and was just he goes, not
for one second do I believe he was only eating toast.
Got my eyes starting to twitch. I just yeah, anger
(16:26):
and it is. It's infuriating. Even my own attorney that
I had at the time was angry with me. They
were all like, what a gross misuse of the resources.
That's for children that need it. Yeah, And where are
they today?
Speaker 1 (16:42):
What are they saying today saying that exactly?
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I've not gotten any response out of the judge. I'm
sure it's not gonna but I mean for him to.
And here's where my confusion comes in. That judge signed
a core order when our case first started. Why do
(17:09):
I need to have his permission to get my child back?
Why did I have to file an emergency motion? Did
he not believe his own words to his first order
that he Why do I need his permission again for
something he's already signed? Why did I have to wait
fifty two hours? Fifty two hours? You imagine what that
(17:32):
was like. I knew, I knew at nine oh three
that morning something was wrong.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
I knew a weekend because we had been in mediation
with Mike for most of the year, because I had
moved about an hour and a half away, and we
were going to put him in a private Christian school,
and I have this great, big life for him, and
we were going back and forth and back and forth,
and it was getting down to.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
School was starting within a week. And I think he
knew he was going to lose, and so he took
his life at about ten am, because you get like
a half hour leeway in the court order to be
late or whatnot. And at nine oh three I was
just I sit by the front window waiting for him,
(18:21):
and I knew something was wrong. So by ten am
I called the Sheriff's department to ask for a wellness
check because Mike had done this before, I think twice before,
where he had kept him three or four hours where
I wasn't able to get in touch with him, find him,
and the agony and the not knowing and just this
(18:45):
was different. This was worse, and I knew it was
worse because by the time we got to eighteen hours,
no communication, no nothing. I mean, Mike throughout the years
had manipulated the communication between the two of us so badly.
He pretended he didn't have a cell phone, which they
(19:07):
found two. Then we would only communicate by email. Then
he would block me. Then he said it would only
have a landline and have an answering machine and shut
the answering machine off. So that's what was happening. The
day that he went missing, that Monday, was I I
would call and call the house and it would just
go straight to you have reached. There's no answering machine,
(19:30):
you know what I mean, Right, So I called the police.
They went out, they did a wellness check, they said,
no one's there. Well, when I dropped rowing off, there
was a white camper to the right of the driveway
and a black truck in the driveway. Well, they went
out and there was that wasn't there. So that's when
(19:51):
we put out a missing and I started telling right,
and so I thought, you know, maybe he's they're out
camping because they had been camping like two years ago.
And so probably about six o'clock, I called the sheriffs
again and said, you know, can we get well another
wellness check? And finally my husband's like, you know what,
(20:14):
I'm gonna call the sheriff's department in our county, Kent County, Okay.
And they actually came to our house and he goes,
I've already called all the phone numbers that I have
for Mike. I'm like, how many do you have? Hid
four different phone numbers. I'm like what, wow, And then
he's yeah. So the Kent County sheriff said, get in
(20:36):
your car now and go up to Isabella County sheriffs
get in their faces and tell them how scared you
are for this kid because of what's going on. Right,
And we did, and we drove an hour and a half.
It was probably one thirty in the morning, so technically
Tuesday morning. We got up there and I'm pleading, I'm like, listen,
you don't understand. This is different. He doesn't keep him
(20:59):
overnight like as he does it, not not communicate this
long like that there's something wrong. And I even tried
to play it off like I was worried about Mike too,
which I really definitely was not. But yeah, when we
would when we went to leave, my husband was like,
you should have been more hysterical. I'm like, no, I
wanted to be calm and respectful. So they would write
(21:21):
me seriously, write nothing. It didn't matter. They they didn't,
they didn't care, they didn't they they placated me. They
just were You could tell they were standing there just
to listen and then get rid of me. And it
was so sickening to drive home that night without him,
(21:44):
and then I didn't sleep am I my older kids
I listed him as missing that night and uh, my
older kids Bailey and Shelby called me it like or
four in the morning and they're like, Mom, what is
going on. I'm like, calm down, we're gonna find him.
(22:04):
It's gonna be okay. And yeah, I got up and
I drove straight to my attorney's office in mot Pleasant.
My husband stayed home just in case, you know, he
dropped him off a day later or something. I got
to my attorney's office, Gavin mcclintick, wonderful attorney, such a
good good man, and he was already there, already at
(22:28):
work on doing the emergency motion, all the things we
had to file. So I went with him to the
courthouse to file the emergency motion for the judge to sign,
and I stood there waiting. I talked to my caseworker, I,
you know, just hanging around. So then when we were
done at the courthouse and that we just had to
(22:49):
wait for the judge to sign it, we couldn't figure
out what to do, like, you know, where do you look?
What do you do? So we went to my mom's
for a little bit and then and they said, you
know what, forget Isabella County Sheriff's go to the state police.
So I did with my husband and my step son,
and I start talking to them, telling them what's going on.
(23:10):
And I could tell they're taking me serious, they care.
They were okay, And so then the exactly in the
the cop said to me, he goes, listen, we're going
to go out and do another wellness check, and if
they come back he's still not there, then we'll listen
to him as missing. And I just start bawling. I'm like, finally, yeah, yeah,
(23:33):
that's what you need. Yeah. So I was at the
state Police post and actually the state Police didn't get
a chance to go out there to do the wellness
check because the Isabella County Sheriff's already there. And they
came back and I was standing by the window and
the dispatcher, a woman from the sheriff's department, called the
(23:54):
state police and said, this is a civil matter. We've
already spoke to her, sent her on her way.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
That is absolutely ridiculous. It is not a civil matter.
This is a criminal matter at this point. I mean,
he has to take and like, what in the world.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Well, and here's the thing. They think it's civil because
it's a custody thing. But here's the thing. He's a felon.
And I had told them throughout the years, I had
told this Isabella County Sheriff's apartment, CPS, friend of the court,
my attorney, that he had guns. You're not allowed to
(24:35):
have guns if you're a felon. Obviously he had them,
and I knew he did, so that should have made
it criminal right then and there, but they didn't take
the time to look that up or give a crap.
We even told him that night, that Monday night, at
one thirty in the morning when we got up there,
that he has guns and nothing. So we went home
(24:56):
without him and I had sleep. Did I sleep? I
slept a little. I did not sleep that night, No
one slept. But then Wednesday morning, we got up and
our plan, what was our plan? I don't even remember.
We're gonna go back up. We're gonna go back up, Uh,
(25:18):
try and file another ex parte. Yeah, we're gonna try
and file another emergency motion. But in the morning, my
girlfriend was like, you gotta just how about just go
about your day as usual. I was already being contacted
by some news people to be interviewed that he was missing,
(25:38):
and so I had an appointment to get my eyelashes
filled because I'd been crying so much. They looked like
strangled to Randela's. So I left the house and as
soon as I left, Kent County Sheriff's pulled in and yeah,
and my husband was left home for over an hour,
(25:58):
about an hour and twenty minute, knowing that I was
coming home to that. Yah. I left my appointment just
talking to my girlfriend. You know, have have you heard
more stuff?
Speaker 6 (26:13):
Whatever?
Speaker 3 (26:13):
There's there was another news article that came out or something,
and I was reading it and then I got in
the car to come home. I turned down our street
and there were there was a Kent County sheriff and
an undercover sheriff two houses down. And I pull on
my driveway. There's no cars there or anything. And I
go to go to the backyard to talk to my
(26:34):
husband and be like nosy neighbor and be like, oh
my god, do you see the cops? So the neighbor's
house kind of thing, and he wasn't out there, and
I've I walked into the house and it's all.
Speaker 8 (26:48):
I passed over at my church first well and my
husband crying and my parents like a.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
Full metal wall. He hit me.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
There was like six or seven sheriffs Sarah from Kent County.
We still don't know time of death with nobody's reached
out to us, no detectives, no nothing, and we don't
have anything.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
I don't We talked to Michael Maine, the sheriffs from
the Isabelle County, and he said it did look like
to them that he had been sleeping when it happened,
which I I pray for. But the problem know that
when go ahead, Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.
(27:46):
I just know when we were talking on the phone.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
You had said when they first went he could have
still been alive, yes, and then when they went back
out there there it was no longer there, so they
would have done their job.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yes, yes, so that camper never left the property. So
it's a long piece of property that goes back towards
a river, and the camper was back on the back
part of the property. So if they would have just
searched more or taken us seriously right, I do believe
(28:23):
he passed away, and my heart, I think it was
Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, but it was not on Monday.
I know that because there's we've got body cam footage
and we do have a police report that we got
from would TV eight. We are getting stuff from newspeople,
not from detectives or anyone involved. And the body cam
(28:48):
footage shows on Monday the black truck was in the
garage and then I think it was Tuesday afternoon they
found the white camper on the property. Which is the
most disturbing part is there's several vehicles on the property
and so's his bike and there's like a little trailer
(29:08):
behind the bike that he would or ride rowing around in.
It was freshly pulled up to that trailer and all
the blinds were pulled. They were inside that trailer. They
were there and they I guess there were no bullet
holes at that time on Tuesday afternoon. By Wednesday morning
there was a bullet hole and his sisters had found them.
Speaker 10 (29:35):
I don't understand how fifty two hours you said it's
the Isabella County Sheriff's right, So they not only.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
Didn't do a wellness chat to the best of their
ability or even to a basic ability, right, they are
not communicating with you. It's the Kent County Sheriff that
has to come in and help you.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Guys.
Speaker 7 (30:06):
You still have no information from the Isabella County Sheriff
who they are the ones who need to do the
investigation because it's there.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
And they still have not told you anything. Right, right,
they didn't. They didn't tell us they found the camp
understand that they never told us that they found the
camphor on the property. We didn't know that. We didn't
know that until they told told me that he was gone.
So it's been five weeks now, just over and I
(30:42):
try to process this in a healthy way. I've tried
to flip the script on my thinking and tell myself
that God chose me to be his mom for that
little bit of time that I got to.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
He definitely did choose you to be his mom.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
But what I want from this, I want a row
An alert, not an Amber alert. Ambela alerts are almost
impossible to get. The copy even told us that I
want to row an alert for parental kidnap children. You
have that thirty minute window, yes, to get your child
if there's a breakdown of the car or whatever happens,
(31:22):
you're running, late weather, whatever, you have that thirty minutes.
If there's something going on in that thirty minutes that
you're going to be later than that. In this day
and age, with all the communications that we have available
to us, you should be communicating. So there's no communication
and that child isn't back to that other parent, the
police should be able to get involved. I shouldn't have
(31:43):
to petition to judge exactly. I shouldn't have to petition
a judge that's already signed in order saying my kids
should be home at that time. I shouldn't have to
ask him twice to get my son home safe and
he said no.
Speaker 7 (31:57):
Yeah, I don't understand how they turn, Like how there's
more the regulation around child support than there is for custody.
Like let's get real, like, yes, you guys care so
much about child support, which, don't get me wrong, is
a great thing. But where are all those rules and
(32:17):
regulations when it comes to custody If someone misses a
child support payment? There you go, you're, oh, you gotta warrant,
You're you're out like.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
You are on call.
Speaker 7 (32:29):
I think you you are missing custody And there's not
something more severe?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
I mean, and and what that would do if there
is a if we do, by God's grace, git a
rowan alert, all those high conflict cases that front of
the court deal with, you're gonna deal with that a
lot less because that person's gonna go to jail that's
causing that conflict, and that does I mean, the evidence
(32:56):
was there so much that he was abuse, saying Rowan
and that CPS worker. There needs to be more money
allotted to CPS so they can take the time to
recognize emotional and mental abuse, because emotional and mental abuse
are going to lead to physical and or death almost always.
(33:19):
And he was failed on so many levels, and I
fought for him so hard. M hmm, you did. It's
just frustrating now knowing that, I mean, God chose me
(33:39):
to make this change is how I try to look
at it. I hate that it had to be my
son's life, but things do need to change. And there's
so many people out there dealing with it. You wouldn't
believe them on the stories. They're people reaching out to
me that they're dealing with this. I want to I
(34:00):
want his life to mean something and mean that no
other child will be lost to something so stupid.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Yeah, we talk about it a lot in our episodes
where we talk about there as so many points along
the way leading up where this could have stopped, where
this could have been handled, And yours is your story
is that there's so many places where you fought, you
(34:32):
thought you fought, and they did not back you up,
and it could have made one of a difference.
Speaker 3 (34:40):
So the CPS worker when she came back to my
house that day to tell me, you know, his house
is immaculate, this, that, and the other, and you know
it's it's he gets to take care of his hair
the way he wants on his parenting time. It's hygiene
or whatever. I looked at her, I go, if it
was a little girl, you wouldn't say that. True, And
she had nothing to say food true. It was abuse
(35:04):
the whole time. And I just felt so unheard and
just I just had this gut feeling. It was. I mean,
if you're doing something so blatantly obvious by shaving a
kid's head, what else are you doing? Yeah to this
poor boy? Like how that girl, that CPS girl, didn't
(35:27):
think of that, Like it's just mind bobble. It's infuriating actually,
And he just was such a sweet, innocent little boy.
He loved life, he loved he loved bragging about himself.
(35:48):
Bout what a great golfer he was.
Speaker 7 (35:51):
His golf swing He's good, wasn't he?
Speaker 3 (35:56):
He was so good? He has a big brother and
I stepped in that are pretty good golfers too, not
so much me, but he he just had a light
about him and he was super sweet. He had this
(36:17):
Spider Man costume that was skin tight, and he was tiny,
skinny little kid anyway, so it was hilarious to see
him in it, and he'd like sneak around the house
and pretend. And then one day, it was like a
few weeks after I got him that costume, I'm looking
at a picture of him on my phone that I
had taken of him in it, and I'm like, oh
my gosh, that's not a spider.
Speaker 11 (36:38):
It was a cockroach. So my husband started calling him
Lacu garata. But I told all I told all the
older kids.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
I'm like, don't you dare tell him that's Spider Man.
Damn it. I have literally done this.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Thing the same thing.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
He was. He was fun. I think my daughter ratted
us out at some point though, that he knew the cockroach.
We were out. We were all golfing. At one point,
my husband and I were in one cart and Bryson
and Rowan were in another one, and Rowan went to
slide his finger in the cupholder to grab his drink
(37:33):
and he caught his finger. And if this will tell
you how I was as a mother with him, he
starts screaming for Mommy, turns around to come run to me,
but limps.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
His finger.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
He was like that here when we were on vacation
and uh so over like and my whole family's there.
He was wrestling with his big brother Brayson, and his
teeth went into his knee and he had like a
teeny little cut on his knee. He limped like drutlet.
It was like dragging his leg for a whole day.
(38:20):
He was a joy and he is really really missed
by all of us. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Yeah, I wanted to say, because when you were talking
about how you were unheard in all of those moments,
you were, I want to say, disrespected by so many
people as you tried to seek help from those who
are obligated to help you.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Yeah, and if they're not okay, it's not okay.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
And there's nothing that we could say or do to
help make any of the easier. But I can tell
you our hearts are with you a million percent and
that we're going to do what we can to talk
about Rowan you would share really's story and to help
in any way we can with Rowan's rights to make
a difference for other children's and families. However you need us,
(39:08):
we want to be there.
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Our own family,
thanks you, and I'm so so thankful that you're helping
get his story out.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
First, I want to say thank you from all of
me to Brandy for talking with us through the tears,
through the laughter, as beautiful memories were shared, and through
the horrific tragedy that has shaken your world. We are
so sorry, from the bottom of our hearts. You were
Rowan's mama for a reason. It wasn't long enough, but
(39:44):
you gave him all of you for those six years,
and he has that eternally. You'll fight for him the
same way you did while he was here, and he
will always know you're endless love. And this next part
where you fight for justice, fight for a difference. We
hope to be a support system for you and your
family in any way. As I mentioned in our conversation
(40:10):
with Brandy, things.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Need to change.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
We see way too often children harmed, abused mentally, emotionally
and physically, and that can lead to even worse, Just
like in Rowan's case. The ultimate goal here would be
to create a Rowan's law to help the families that
are fighting with custody agreements and not having the other
(40:34):
parent meet their end of the contractual agreement. These are
put into place for a reason, and so when they
are broken in one way or another, the parents should
be held responsible immediately. In Rowan's case, he should have
been dropped off at nine in the morning. There was
(40:54):
no communication whatsoever from the father, and therefore at nine
to thirty am, after the allotted and agreed upon leeway
time that is given by the courts, at nine point
thirty one, that is when the parent should be able
to say, my child is not back. You need to
go and get him. Then it should be as simple
(41:15):
as that, Okay, you're right, he should be back. The
leeway is up. We are gonna go do our fucking jobs.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But no, in this.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Case, it took over fifty two hours. Yes, people went
out and knocked on a door. We don't want you
to knock on a door. We want you to knock
the door down. Then after you knock that door down,
you have the right to arrest the person for withholding
the child and not following the agreement that was put
into place. That is now criminal and it should be
(41:45):
taken seriously. As such, creating a Rowan's Law would give
the parent or guardian the ability to get the help
they need for their child in circumstances such as these,
such as parental kidnapping. I truly believe this would help
parents to be held accountable. Then if they're not, it's
(42:06):
jail time, goodbye, follow your court order, or get the
f out of here. As much as we see cases
where we talk about custody disputes, children going missing, children abused,
children murdered, Charlie and Braden Powell, Gabriel Fernandez, Kira Franchetti,
(42:31):
just to name a few, these are all cases that
CPS was involved, and Brandy she wants to find a
way to help get more funds for CPS so they
have enough employees, they have the right training necessary, the
ways to do their jobs accurately, to pay attention to
(42:53):
the mental and the emotional abuse that's happening as well,
because it leads to physical abuse, and in too many
cases it leads to murder. And in Rowan's case, Brandy
stood in front of the court. She stood in front
of the judge and they didn't take her seriously. They
didn't hear her. And that's why, right now, right here,
(43:16):
she needs to be heard. A change needs to happen
for these children, for these families. I wanted to read
two lines from Rowan's obituary. Rowan was a delightful little
boy whose laughter could light up any room. His infectious
giggles and playful nature brought joy to everyone around him.
(43:38):
He had a unique ability to find humor in the
simplest of things, making even the dullest days feel like
an adventure. Whether he was cracking jokes or pulling silly faces,
he had a knack for making people smile. Although Rowan's
time with us was brief, his impact was profound. He
(43:59):
taught us all the importance of laughter, love, and living life.
Speaker 4 (44:03):
To the fullest.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
He will be deeply missed by his family, friends, and
everyone who had the privilege of knowing him. Brandy, her husband, Brian,
Rowan's seven siblings in their beautifully combined family, Bailey, Carly, Shelby, Ethan, Aiden,
(44:26):
Marrek and Bryson, and the rest of their family are
all suffering the loss of Rowan. A GoFundMe has been
set up by a family friend for Brandy and the
family to offer support through this difficult time. Everything we
talked about today will be in the show notes, including
the Rest in Peace Rowan Morey facebook page, the GoFundMe
(44:49):
page if you're able to donate, and any other way
to follow along to help us make a change. Thank
you all for taking the time to listen to Brandy today.
Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and
prayers through this truly devastating time. We will talk to
you next Tuesday. Until then, put on an orange shirt
(45:10):
and go out of your way to make someone smile
today for Rowan.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Okay, love you by.
Speaker 12 (45:32):
My name is Hope Putin and last year I lost
my two children to phill aside, which is the murdering
of one's child or children. A battle of custody and
mental illness that led to my estranged husband taking our
kids' lives before taking his own. A silent epidemic that
(45:54):
has continued to take more lives each year, yet the
term philicide is not widely known. Join me here on
Voices against philicide as I share my story and the
stories of other parents who have lived through the unthinkable.
We speak the names of our children, and we break
(46:15):
the silence the system depends on. Because silence kills, Their
lives mattered, their voices were stolen, but ours won't be together,
we speak the truth, We honor their lives, and we
fight for change. Please subscribe to Voices Against Philicide wherever
(46:37):
you get your podcasts to join me as I navigate grief,
talk with other parents, and continue to raise awareness and
support to make changes our systems so desperately needs for
other families and especially our children. From me, hope, houtin
(46:59):
thank you. Until next time, remember be kind and always
abound in hope.
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