June 25, 2025 • 13 mins
What does it really mean to have character as a leader today?
This week, we dive into the core commitments of authentic leadership, from leading by example to living your principles and being consistent on and off stage.
Coach shares a powerful story of humility around practicing what you preach and how trust breaks when words and actions don’t align. Dr. Karim highlights the importance of courageously sticking to your values, even when it’s hard, and shares insightful examples from her own life.
Together, they unravel why character goes beyond personality... it’s a blend of principles, humility, authenticity, and unwavering accountability, no matter the audience or setting.
Key takeaways:
This week, we dive into the core commitments of authentic leadership, from leading by example to living your principles and being consistent on and off stage.
Coach shares a powerful story of humility around practicing what you preach and how trust breaks when words and actions don’t align. Dr. Karim highlights the importance of courageously sticking to your values, even when it’s hard, and shares insightful examples from her own life.
Together, they unravel why character goes beyond personality... it’s a blend of principles, humility, authenticity, and unwavering accountability, no matter the audience or setting.
Key takeaways:
- Why trust is the foundation and how it’s broken by inconsistent behavior
- The power of humility and openness to feedback for leadership growth
- Living your values and principles boldly, even under pressure
- How being “always on stage” demands authenticity everywhere you go
- Why respect for all, regardless of power dynamics, reveals true character
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This podcast is a proud member of the Teach Better
podcast network, Better Today, Better Tomorrow, and the podcast to
get you there.
Speaker 4 (00:07):
You can find out.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
More at teefbetter dot com slash podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
If you say one thing and you do another, you
break that magical word that we talk about all the
time in building good leadership and as.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Trust, we have to have the courage to stick to
our principle that I'm not going to go beyond this limit.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
I feel like that's a sign of insecurity.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
If you're constantly trying to keep someone in their place,
or show them that you have more power than them,
or show them that you have the authority to boss
them around. That's bad leadership for one thing, right if
you're leading a team, and it's also an insecure mindset
of we have to keep them low.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
Do you want to be a leader in a constantly
changing world? Our emerging leaders look different, come from various
backgrounds and from all different age groups. Leadership is changing
and it's hard to keep up. But the good news
you can be a leader too. You can be an
e merging leader. Welcome to the Limitless Leadership Lounge. Try
(01:09):
generational conversation for emerging leaders. Go spend some time with
us to discuss leadership from three angles. The coach Jim Johnson,
the professor, doctor Renumah Kareem, the host John Gering, a
monthly guest, and you get in on the conversation on
Facebook and Instagram, and be sure to follow us on
(01:29):
Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Speaker. So come on in and
make yourself comfortable. Well.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
As we head towards the beginning officially of summer. Actually
just the other day, I think some are officially started,
it's important to talk about character because we're out and
about more, we're.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
On vacation, we're having more leisure time this summer. Hopefully
you're taking some time off. So today on the Limited.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Leadership Lounge, you're going to talk a little bit more
how to develop good character. Because that term be a
good person is always thrown around. What does that actually mean?
I'm John Garring, joined as always by coach Jim Johnson
and doctor Renuma Kareem. When it comes to character, Coach,
you have a very high character. Numa you do as well,
So I'm curious to pick both of your brains on this.
(02:12):
Let's start with you, Coach, because you taught character, not
only as a basketball coach teaching basketball, but you taught
character for young men throughout your career.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What is our first key to committing to a higher character.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So, John, we'll keep the alliteration with practice what you preach,
and I'm going to share a story that was very humbling,
but it was very powerful early in my coaching career
at Grisathena, where I finished my career and I coached
ore twenty years. What are the big things that I
wanted to do is have a brand where we were
(02:48):
a first class organization. So one of our requirements is
when we went and played at another school, that we
had to wear a shirt and tie, all the players
in the coaches. The one thing that was a little
bit of an issue for me is I don't love
shirt and ties, having a little more of a casual guy.
And so one time, I mean I was dressed nicely,
(03:10):
but it was certainly not a shirt and tie, and
it was on the road, and I can't remember whether
we want or lost, But I do remember the second
part that was as we were walking to the bus,
one of my parents said, hey, coach, you always talk
about leading by example. How come you ask all the
young men to wear a shirt and tie, yet you're
(03:32):
not wearing them. And you know what, it was humbly,
I gobbled my pride and I said, you know what,
I appreciate your thoughts and you're absolutely right, and I
must have meant. That was a very powerful thing for
me because from then on, as long as we asked
our players to wear shirt and ties, the old coach
(03:53):
wear a shirt and tie as well. So I just
think it's really important in character. We talk about it
so much about leading by example, but if you say
one thing and you do another, you break that magical
word that we talk about all the time in building
good leadership, and that's trust. Can't trust you if you
(04:15):
practice one thing and preach another, or vice versa. So
you've got to consistently align your words and actions. And
that story was really powerful for me because I remember
many years later that I could share it, and number two,
the impact that made on me on the fact that
I must practice what I preach.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
And the humility to listen to that parent too, because
you need that as a leader.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You need that humility.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Sure it's a parent, Sure they don't have the authority
that you do over the team, but to say that.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
I think that's really important.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
So that's the first commitment we can make to improving
our character is to practice what we preach, lead by example, Renuma,
what's the second commitment?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, I want to clarify the character is not personality,
it's different character. And as coach was saying, we also
build our character through our life experiences. How we deal
with it. Are we humble enough, are we open minded
to accept? So those also contribute to character building. So
(05:15):
for me, character building it's more about principles and I
think that really roots us or grounds us to who
we are. And a few days I just returned back
from Bangladesh and it was remarkable to see, Like sometimes
we say that character is like a big word, like
all the elites and everybody is talking about, but it
(05:36):
is how we learn to live our life in a way.
Those are some principle and values And interestingly I found
out that it is prioritizing our values and principles over instincts.
Even when we are we have the urge that need,
but we have to have the courage to stick to
our principle that I'm not going to go beyond this limit.
(06:00):
Back home in Bangladesh, I got up in a rickshaw
like I was asking. Ricksha is a three wheeled transport
device that is very environment friendly, no battery, It's human driven,
so it's a person who will paddle you to different places.
So when I was asking for the rate, everybody was
charging me higher than the actual one. And there was
(06:21):
this one elderly rick sha puller. And I'm always like
drawn to elderly people so that I can give them
a little bit more. They're working hard, and he's he
prised the exact price. I got up and then because
of his honesty, I wanted to give him twenty bucks
more and he was adamant, no, man, this is not
(06:42):
the rate. I'm not going to take the extra twenty.
I could see that his shirts are torn. He could
buy an extra shirt or have something, to have something,
but he did not accept my twenty bucks. So that
I think, to me, that is also an example of
his values, his principles, and his character. No matter how
(07:05):
difficult the situation is, how pressing the situation is, he
is not shifting from his value. So this is what
this was a very heartwarming and I myself was humbled
by this experience. So I think principles and values. Sticking
to your principle and value is one of the core
(07:25):
area where we can build our character.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I couldn't agree more in Numa and that's such a
powerful story. And we certainly that elderly man, We certainly
hope that he's blessed with what he deserves because that's
sticking to your character. I believe it works out in
the long run, right, I believe some people call it karma,
some people call it the law of reciprocity, whatever you
want to call it. Honesty is always the best policy.
(07:49):
And the third commitment to character, I would say, is
recognizing and this is a term coach uses all the time.
You're always on stage, and what we mean by this
is you're not either on stage or off stage. You're
not in your game mode or your practice mode or
at home mode. There shouldn't be so much of a
distinction between those two things. A lot of times, especially
(08:12):
in the age of social media, we act a certain
way to try to feel like we belong to, try
to look like we belong to, try to they say,
keep up with the Joneses, right, And there's just naturally
a layer of very fake fakeness that we have and
I think that's that can be a really damaging thing.
But when we stay the same off stage as we
(08:35):
are on stage, that's the best policy to a higher
character because then we're not faking it. Then we're just authentically,
genuinely who we are, and that's so important. It's social
media too. When we talk about content production, which is
what I do for my business, producing a lot of
content for brands, people always want to be so perfect.
They always come to me and say, I got to
(08:56):
make sure I'm polished. I've got to make sure I'm
wearing this certain shirt or whatever, and so branding is important,
but that doesn't mean stepping outside of who you actually are.
We want to hear those uhs and os and those
little moments where things might not be perfectly polished. You
don't have to be on the beach for every photo
you take. Being the same on stage and off stage
(09:16):
is so important. Then just remembering no matter where you are,
and this speaks to what Coach says, a lot you
are on stage. So if you are maybe in a
taxi or in a rickshaw like Renuma, you're on stage
there too. Your audience might just be that one driver.
Your audience might just be the store manager when you're
at a store, but you're still on stage. It's just
(09:37):
a different audience, and your behavior with one person is
potentially just as important as your behavior on a stage
in front of hundreds of people. So just remember, no
matter what you're doing, it's impacting your reputation. And that's
why it's also important to stay who you are on
and off stage.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
John said, A very important thing. And there are people
people who will act very respectful to like similar status
individuals and things like that. And I've seen when there
are people who have less power, they will act very
disrespectful with the waiter, Hey, come over here, very disrespectful attitude.
(10:18):
That is not character. You treat everybody in a similar way,
no matter whether they have the power or not. So
that's how that's I also see that as a character,
like I judge people. I observe people how they are
interacting with the waiter or the stewardess or somebody who
(10:38):
has less power than them, And that speaks a thousand
word like how what kind of person they are?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Great point, let me aug about a couple things, because
you guys had some really powerful things with RENEWMA. I
know that a lot of people that are hiring people
will take them out to dinner because they want to
see how they respond to the waiter in the atmosphere.
And so you got a really powerful point, and it's
(11:05):
something on Renew's point, it's something we really just try
to stress is what are your core values in getting
clarity of those and then living them. And then the
other thing I want to mention John, one of the
things that used to bother me a lot and it
still does being a speaker is the famous the person
(11:26):
on stage is this great persona and then off stage
he's a complete jerk. And John's point is so valid.
Are you a person of characters? Renewma said on stage
and off stage? So some very powerful points there.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
It's great when you meet a musician or somebody a
big speaker and you meet them and they're like, oh
my gosh, they're so nice. Off stage, they're just so yeah,
we expected him to be eating Carrie Underwood. That was
the one that I was like, oh my gosh, she's
just a really nice person, just like she is on stage.
And then Renewed, I would also say to your point
(12:01):
about treating someone the same with less power, that is
so important, And it makes sense, Coach, why you'd take
someone out to dinner, because I feel like that's a
sign of insecurity. If you're constantly trying to keep someone
in their place, or show them that you have more
power than them, or show them that you have the
authority to boss them around, that's bad leadership for one thing, right,
(12:22):
if you're leading a team, And it's also an insecure
mindset of we have to keep them low.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
We can't elevate them, we have to keep them low.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
So I think that comes from a deep place of insecurity,
and I think that's so important. So character, again, those
three main keys that we talked about. Coach talked about
leading by example, practicing what you preach. Renuma, you dove
into the importance of character and being honest and staying
to your values in every circumstance. And I talked a
bit about always being on stage. So we'd love your
(12:52):
thoughts as well. Let us know and if you're enjoying
the podcast, whether it be the video format up on YouTube,
we'd love for you to subscribe to our YouTube channel
if you haven't already, or the audio format, We'd love
for you to leave a review and make sure you
share this with three friends, because there's three of us,
and I know that there's three people.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Out there that might be able to benefit from this
as well.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
So thanks for listening this week to the Limitless Leadership Lounge.
We'll be back next week for another try generational conversation.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Thank you for joining us this week at the Limitless
Leadership Lounge. To listen to this episode again and to
find previous episodes, check us out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
and Spreaker. You can also get in on the conversation
find us on Facebook and Instagram. Then tell three of
your friends to join it as well. Coach Numa and John.
We'll be back again next week for another try generational
(13:42):
leadership discussion. We'll talk to you then on the Limitless
Leadership Lounge.
This podcast is a proud member of the Teach Better
podcast network, Better Today, Better Tomorrow, and the podcast to
get you there.
Speaker 4 (00:07):
You can find out.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
More at teefbetter dot com slash podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
If you say one thing and you do another, you
break that magical word that we talk about all the
time in building good leadership and as.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Trust, we have to have the courage to stick to
our principle that I'm not going to go beyond this limit.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
I feel like that's a sign of insecurity.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
If you're constantly trying to keep someone in their place,
or show them that you have more power than them,
or show them that you have the authority to boss
them around. That's bad leadership for one thing, right if
you're leading a team, and it's also an insecure mindset
of we have to keep them low.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
Do you want to be a leader in a constantly
changing world? Our emerging leaders look different, come from various
backgrounds and from all different age groups. Leadership is changing
and it's hard to keep up. But the good news
you can be a leader too. You can be an
e merging leader. Welcome to the Limitless Leadership Lounge. Try
(01:09):
generational conversation for emerging leaders. Go spend some time with
us to discuss leadership from three angles. The coach Jim Johnson,
the professor, doctor Renumah Kareem, the host John Gering, a
monthly guest, and you get in on the conversation on
Facebook and Instagram, and be sure to follow us on
(01:29):
Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Speaker. So come on in and
make yourself comfortable. Well.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
As we head towards the beginning officially of summer. Actually
just the other day, I think some are officially started,
it's important to talk about character because we're out and
about more, we're.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
On vacation, we're having more leisure time this summer. Hopefully
you're taking some time off. So today on the Limited.
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Leadership Lounge, you're going to talk a little bit more
how to develop good character. Because that term be a
good person is always thrown around. What does that actually mean?
I'm John Garring, joined as always by coach Jim Johnson
and doctor Renuma Kareem. When it comes to character, Coach,
you have a very high character. Numa you do as well,
So I'm curious to pick both of your brains on this.
(02:12):
Let's start with you, Coach, because you taught character, not
only as a basketball coach teaching basketball, but you taught
character for young men throughout your career.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
What is our first key to committing to a higher character.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
So, John, we'll keep the alliteration with practice what you preach,
and I'm going to share a story that was very humbling,
but it was very powerful early in my coaching career
at Grisathena, where I finished my career and I coached
ore twenty years. What are the big things that I
wanted to do is have a brand where we were
(02:48):
a first class organization. So one of our requirements is
when we went and played at another school, that we
had to wear a shirt and tie, all the players
in the coaches. The one thing that was a little
bit of an issue for me is I don't love
shirt and ties, having a little more of a casual guy.
And so one time, I mean I was dressed nicely,
(03:10):
but it was certainly not a shirt and tie, and
it was on the road, and I can't remember whether
we want or lost, But I do remember the second
part that was as we were walking to the bus,
one of my parents said, hey, coach, you always talk
about leading by example. How come you ask all the
young men to wear a shirt and tie, yet you're
(03:32):
not wearing them. And you know what, it was humbly,
I gobbled my pride and I said, you know what,
I appreciate your thoughts and you're absolutely right, and I
must have meant. That was a very powerful thing for
me because from then on, as long as we asked
our players to wear shirt and ties, the old coach
(03:53):
wear a shirt and tie as well. So I just
think it's really important in character. We talk about it
so much about leading by example, but if you say
one thing and you do another, you break that magical
word that we talk about all the time in building
good leadership, and that's trust. Can't trust you if you
(04:15):
practice one thing and preach another, or vice versa. So
you've got to consistently align your words and actions. And
that story was really powerful for me because I remember
many years later that I could share it, and number two,
the impact that made on me on the fact that
I must practice what I preach.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
And the humility to listen to that parent too, because
you need that as a leader.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
You need that humility.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Sure it's a parent, Sure they don't have the authority
that you do over the team, but to say that.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
I think that's really important.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
So that's the first commitment we can make to improving
our character is to practice what we preach, lead by example, Renuma,
what's the second commitment?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, I want to clarify the character is not personality,
it's different character. And as coach was saying, we also
build our character through our life experiences. How we deal
with it. Are we humble enough, are we open minded
to accept? So those also contribute to character building. So
(05:15):
for me, character building it's more about principles and I
think that really roots us or grounds us to who
we are. And a few days I just returned back
from Bangladesh and it was remarkable to see, Like sometimes
we say that character is like a big word, like
all the elites and everybody is talking about, but it
(05:36):
is how we learn to live our life in a way.
Those are some principle and values And interestingly I found
out that it is prioritizing our values and principles over instincts.
Even when we are we have the urge that need,
but we have to have the courage to stick to
our principle that I'm not going to go beyond this limit.
(06:00):
Back home in Bangladesh, I got up in a rickshaw
like I was asking. Ricksha is a three wheeled transport
device that is very environment friendly, no battery, It's human driven,
so it's a person who will paddle you to different places.
So when I was asking for the rate, everybody was
charging me higher than the actual one. And there was
(06:21):
this one elderly rick sha puller. And I'm always like
drawn to elderly people so that I can give them
a little bit more. They're working hard, and he's he
prised the exact price. I got up and then because
of his honesty, I wanted to give him twenty bucks
more and he was adamant, no, man, this is not
(06:42):
the rate. I'm not going to take the extra twenty.
I could see that his shirts are torn. He could
buy an extra shirt or have something, to have something,
but he did not accept my twenty bucks. So that
I think, to me, that is also an example of
his values, his principles, and his character. No matter how
(07:05):
difficult the situation is, how pressing the situation is, he
is not shifting from his value. So this is what
this was a very heartwarming and I myself was humbled
by this experience. So I think principles and values. Sticking
to your principle and value is one of the core
(07:25):
area where we can build our character.
Speaker 5 (07:27):
I couldn't agree more in Numa and that's such a
powerful story. And we certainly that elderly man, We certainly
hope that he's blessed with what he deserves because that's
sticking to your character. I believe it works out in
the long run, right, I believe some people call it karma,
some people call it the law of reciprocity, whatever you
want to call it. Honesty is always the best policy.
(07:49):
And the third commitment to character, I would say, is
recognizing and this is a term coach uses all the time.
You're always on stage, and what we mean by this
is you're not either on stage or off stage. You're
not in your game mode or your practice mode or
at home mode. There shouldn't be so much of a
distinction between those two things. A lot of times, especially
(08:12):
in the age of social media, we act a certain
way to try to feel like we belong to, try
to look like we belong to, try to they say,
keep up with the Joneses, right, And there's just naturally
a layer of very fake fakeness that we have and
I think that's that can be a really damaging thing.
But when we stay the same off stage as we
(08:35):
are on stage, that's the best policy to a higher
character because then we're not faking it. Then we're just authentically,
genuinely who we are, and that's so important. It's social
media too. When we talk about content production, which is
what I do for my business, producing a lot of
content for brands, people always want to be so perfect.
They always come to me and say, I got to
(08:56):
make sure I'm polished. I've got to make sure I'm
wearing this certain shirt or whatever, and so branding is important,
but that doesn't mean stepping outside of who you actually are.
We want to hear those uhs and os and those
little moments where things might not be perfectly polished. You
don't have to be on the beach for every photo
you take. Being the same on stage and off stage
(09:16):
is so important. Then just remembering no matter where you are,
and this speaks to what Coach says, a lot you
are on stage. So if you are maybe in a
taxi or in a rickshaw like Renuma, you're on stage
there too. Your audience might just be that one driver.
Your audience might just be the store manager when you're
at a store, but you're still on stage. It's just
(09:37):
a different audience, and your behavior with one person is
potentially just as important as your behavior on a stage
in front of hundreds of people. So just remember, no
matter what you're doing, it's impacting your reputation. And that's
why it's also important to stay who you are on
and off stage.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
John said, A very important thing. And there are people
people who will act very respectful to like similar status
individuals and things like that. And I've seen when there
are people who have less power, they will act very
disrespectful with the waiter, Hey, come over here, very disrespectful attitude.
(10:18):
That is not character. You treat everybody in a similar way,
no matter whether they have the power or not. So
that's how that's I also see that as a character,
like I judge people. I observe people how they are
interacting with the waiter or the stewardess or somebody who
(10:38):
has less power than them, And that speaks a thousand
word like how what kind of person they are?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Great point, let me aug about a couple things, because
you guys had some really powerful things with RENEWMA. I
know that a lot of people that are hiring people
will take them out to dinner because they want to
see how they respond to the waiter in the atmosphere.
And so you got a really powerful point, and it's
(11:05):
something on Renew's point, it's something we really just try
to stress is what are your core values in getting
clarity of those and then living them. And then the
other thing I want to mention John, one of the
things that used to bother me a lot and it
still does being a speaker is the famous the person
(11:26):
on stage is this great persona and then off stage
he's a complete jerk. And John's point is so valid.
Are you a person of characters? Renewma said on stage
and off stage? So some very powerful points there.
Speaker 5 (11:41):
It's great when you meet a musician or somebody a
big speaker and you meet them and they're like, oh
my gosh, they're so nice. Off stage, they're just so yeah,
we expected him to be eating Carrie Underwood. That was
the one that I was like, oh my gosh, she's
just a really nice person, just like she is on stage.
And then Renewed, I would also say to your point
(12:01):
about treating someone the same with less power, that is
so important, And it makes sense, Coach, why you'd take
someone out to dinner, because I feel like that's a
sign of insecurity. If you're constantly trying to keep someone
in their place, or show them that you have more
power than them, or show them that you have the
authority to boss them around, that's bad leadership for one thing, right,
(12:22):
if you're leading a team, And it's also an insecure
mindset of we have to keep them low.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
We can't elevate them, we have to keep them low.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
So I think that comes from a deep place of insecurity,
and I think that's so important. So character, again, those
three main keys that we talked about. Coach talked about
leading by example, practicing what you preach. Renuma, you dove
into the importance of character and being honest and staying
to your values in every circumstance. And I talked a
bit about always being on stage. So we'd love your
(12:52):
thoughts as well. Let us know and if you're enjoying
the podcast, whether it be the video format up on YouTube,
we'd love for you to subscribe to our YouTube channel
if you haven't already, or the audio format, We'd love
for you to leave a review and make sure you
share this with three friends, because there's three of us,
and I know that there's three people.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Out there that might be able to benefit from this
as well.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
So thanks for listening this week to the Limitless Leadership Lounge.
We'll be back next week for another try generational conversation.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
Thank you for joining us this week at the Limitless
Leadership Lounge. To listen to this episode again and to
find previous episodes, check us out on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
and Spreaker. You can also get in on the conversation
find us on Facebook and Instagram. Then tell three of
your friends to join it as well. Coach Numa and John.
We'll be back again next week for another try generational
(13:42):
leadership discussion. We'll talk to you then on the Limitless
Leadership Lounge.
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