Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Are you a transitioning military or veteran woman looking for support, guidance,
and inspiration. You've come to the right place. Welcome to
Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform with your host, Renee Jones Hudson.
Renee brings powerful stories, practical advice, and expert insights to
help you redifine, rediscover, and reaffirm your life after military service,
(00:44):
whether navigating a career change, seeking personal growth, or focusing
on your well being. We are here to empower you
every step of the way. So welcome the host of
Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform, Renee Jones Hudson. Let's embark
on this journey together.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hi, everyone, Welcome to Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform. I'm
your host, Renee and Shussen, and to guys today about
redefining success beyond the uniform. So this episode is especially
for my female veterans, those navigating the transition, or even
(01:34):
those who have been far removed from it and wanting to,
you know, really understand the success the difference of success
now and when they're in the military. So what we're
going to talk about is letting go of all definitions,
embracing new possibilities and just finding fulfillment on your urn.
(01:56):
So just sit back and and just you know, let's
go on this journey with me. So when I first
transitioned from the military out of the Army, I did
not realize how much my success was tied to my service.
(02:17):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Tied to you know, me making rank.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
You know, the missions I accomplished, the leading my soldiers.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I was very good at pts.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It was about me always maxing out my PT test.
I was also a part of one of the elite
clubs in the military, the Autography Club.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
All of that, you know, was really kind of what
defined me when I was in the service.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
But you know, when I transitioned.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I learned a powerful lesson that success isn't just about
what you do. It's about who you are, the value
you at to others, and the impact that you leave behind.
And that's what we're going to talk about today, just
redefining success and moving beyond your your position, your rank,
(03:12):
and your title.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So I want to talk about why this is so hard.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
In the military, success was clearly defined.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know, you accomplished the mission, you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Achieve your rank, you get to the next rank, and
then you earn awards for all of that, and so
there was a roadmap, there was a structure that you
follow to do these things, and the basic thing was
just to be at.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
The right place, in the right uniform at the right
time right.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
But it becomes objective on the civilian side, and for
a many of us that can have a feeling like
we're starting from scratch, and especially for female veterans, you know,
I feel like, well, I won't say I feel, but
in most cases, we're underrepresented in leadership roles. We're underestimated
(04:10):
in our potential, in our abilities and our capabilities, and
sometimes we're just juggling a lot of roles. We're juggling motherhood,
we're juggling being a leader being. In my case, and
I'll share an example of this, we're juggling being a caregiver.
(04:31):
So with all of those things, it can have us
feeling lost or you know, lost, especially when we're doing
so much. And I want to talk about a specific
like my I have two children. I have a twenty
five year old and almost twelve year old. But when
I was a company commander, my son was in high school,
(04:53):
he was he was one of the start athletes on
his football team. My husband and I, I want to
give some context, we're both we're dual military, like both
of us.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Served at the same time.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So at the time that my son was in high school,
my daughter was an infant, and I was in command.
And this is some of the things I feel like
some of us female veterans we struggle with. So I
was in command, my son expected me to be at
his football games. I had to run my unit and
(05:27):
you know, be a mom at the same time. So
there were many times that I did not make his
games at the start of the games and so, but
he was looking for me to be there. And this
is a part of us juggling the many hats, the
responsibilities that we have, you know. But at the time,
I had made a commitment that at least if I
(05:48):
made it to halftime, you know, I could see the
second half of this game, because he would always look
up in the stands to see who we were there.
His dad traveled a lot, so when that happened, a
lot of responsibilities fellow me to make sure he has
someone supporting him.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
And so I do.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Understand where sometimes we feel so lost about, you know,
our roles.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
You know, when we have so many roles that we
have to take on.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But here's the thing with defining success on this side
of on this a sibyan, just know that you're not
starting over. You are just starting from experience. And that's
what we're gonna do to Hey, We're gonna reframe what
success looks like for you. Why this matters is because
(06:38):
we we don't want to just keep chasing what we've
always known.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
The truth is if we cling to all.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Definitions of what success looks like and that definition no
longer service, we're gonna limit our growth and we're gonna
just We're not gonna be happy.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
We're not gonna feel fulfilled. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
We end up pursuing goals that may look good on paper,
but they leave us feeling disconnected. When I first got
out of the military, I opened up a fitness studio.
To be honest, when I retired, I didn't have a
clear plan and it wasn't because of any ill reasons
(07:21):
why I'm tired. I just felt like there was something
I just wanted to do more, and I wanted to
do it outside of the uniform. I retired about age forty,
so i'd been in there from the age of eighteen,
got out at age forty, and I just was one
day I was like, you know what, I want to
do something else I wanted. This was good, this was great.
I want to I want to find out what's available.
(07:42):
So I got out, no plan, actually had a job interview.
They took two weeks to respond to me, and even
during the interview I was I was like, this is
really not what I want to do, this is not
where I want to be.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I aced the interview.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
They called me back in two weeks and out of
the blue, and I kid you not out of the blue,
I responded, I declined. I declined the offer and said
I was going to start my business. Now I didn't
know what business I was going to start because I
did not have a plan.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So I'm I. You know when I when I.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Said to my husband, I'm going to start a business,
he was like, why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
You know you don't even have a plan, And he
was right. But that was what came up for me.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Now with all the experience that I had, the leadership experience,
the skills. I was an athlete. I was very good
with physical fitness.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I was a.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Former professional athlete, a bodybuilder figure competitor to be exact.
So and I was also certified as a personal trainer.
So I did the next mess thing. I opened up
a fitness studio. I started that business in my garage
and evolved to a to an actual brick and mortar.
(09:03):
But even in doing that, you know, I did that afraid,
I did it unsure, you know. And I did it
just with the skills and the abilities that I had prior,
you know, prior to getting out of the military. So
(09:23):
and even with that, I want to say that success
evolves when we evolve.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
It evolves when you evolved.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You know, It's more than just about titles and paycheck.
It's about finding fulfillent, purpose and alignment. And I felt
more aligned at the time. I'm going to talk about
pivoting later, but I felt more aligned with opening my
own business and.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Just you know, doing.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Something that I that I felt was pulling me more
in the direction I wanted to do, which was to
support other women and support other people on their way
class journey. For me, the it just boils out to
me wanting to help people. And I know it sounds simple,
but it's at the core of it all I want
to support the next person and on this journey. For
(10:15):
me right now, it's about supporting other female veterans.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
So today, for.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Me, success is about helping other female veterans step into
their power and just live unapologetically. And the unapologetic part
because I know we talk about, you know, living unapologetically
all the time, and it comes with it comes with
just embracing the journey because but it comes with a
(10:47):
sort of ease, the ease that you know you're still
moving towards I'm not saying it's easy, there's an ease
and knowing that you're working towards what feeds you, what
fuels you. So living unapologetically comes with self self awareness,
it comes with personal growth and development. It comes with
(11:11):
nurturing you know, relationships and acquiring new skills, and it's
it's more about creating an impact and adding value to
you know, the world. And I got that from John Maxwell,
who I had the pleasure of meeting I think in
(11:32):
the latter part of the pandemic. I got a chance
to to you know, sit in on one of his conferences,
to meet him personally.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And it's and it is just about that.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's not just about an image you know, it's just
it's about helping the next person get to where they
need to because we all, we all need support and
we can't do this alone. So the question I want
you to carry with you today is, you know, what
does success mean to you right now?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
What does that look like for you?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And it does not have to look like my success,
It doesn't have to look like your your neighbor's success.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
You know what does that mean to you right now?
What is success for you? And with that, I want
to I want to leave you.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I want to provide you with some tips to redefine
what success is for you. And I kind of drop
these down because I didn't want to forget them. So
the first one is to reflect on your values. Like
I said, what truly matters to you? What is it
that brings you joy, that gives you purpose, that sense
(12:39):
of purpose and fulfillment.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
And I would encourage.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You to to really sit and reflect on what that
is for you. You know, a prompt that I could give
you is what would success look like if no one
else was watching? And let that guide your vision. Let
that guide you know how you define success on your terms.
(13:03):
The other number two is to set meaningful goals and
be intentional with those goals. You know, instead of chasing
what you think you should be doing, set goals that
align with your values. When I first opened up my
fitness to you, like I said, I did not have
a plan, So I was just feeding into everything everyone suggested,
(13:26):
and they did it with good intentions, right everything everyone
was suggesting to me that I should do to get more.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Visible, to you know, to just make more money.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I was just falling into everybody's vision of what my
success should look like, and it was very frustrating because
it didn't align with where I wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I didn't have a clear strategy, so.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
It made you know, everything that I was getting fed
it it became too much. So instead of chasing what
you think you should be doing, secals that align with
your values. You know, maybe it's improving your health, getting
better sleep, nurturing relationships, or you know, starting your own business.
(14:15):
It's not about how big the goal is. It's about
how much it matters to you. You know, how much
it's going to feed your soul, how much it's going
to feed what you are trying, the impact that you're
trying to make. This third one, celebrate non traditional wins,
and this one is really important to me because it's
(14:37):
something I didn't do. So in the Militariya, We're used
to big measurable accomplishments, right You you pass the PT test,
you get a pee patch, You go to Airssalt school
or air or air Salt, air salt or air board school,
(14:57):
you get you get another badge, you you get promoted.
You know, all of these things. You go to the
automurphy board, you're now you're part of the elite club.
You know, all of those things are big measurable accomplishments.
But outside the uniform, there's a lot of smaller, quieter
(15:18):
wins that we do not acknowledge. So things like me
getting to attend my daughter's cheer cheer cheer competitions. You know,
when I was in the military, I didn't even have
time for my son, so I couldn't show up.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
For his games. So being able to do that, you know, is.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
An accomplishment is something to celebrate, you know, being able
to you know, manage my time, you know, really have
the flexibility to schedule and unschedule things at will, Being
able to continue with learning, you know, just the thing is,
(15:58):
you know, challenge yourself. Did I take a leap of
faith today? Did I prioritize rest? You know, did I
show up for myself? Those are wins that are worth celebrating,
and I would venture to say sometimes they overlook many
of us overlook those, you know. The fourth one is
to find a mentor and have a support system. And
(16:22):
this one, this one has been very pivotal for me
in my in my journey as an entrepreneur. We are
not meant to do to be on this journey alone,
and oftentimes speaking for myself. Even when I got out
of the military, and it was really a lot, it
(16:45):
was based a lot on fear.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
I was afraid to ask for help.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I was afraid to look stupid as a business owner.
I know that, you know, but that's where I was.
I was afraid to say I didn't know, you know.
And I don't know if it was pride or whatever,
but I know it played into me, not elevated and
once I realized, and I will say this too, with
(17:11):
the help of my clients. I had very great clients
when I first opened my business. They were all business owners,
they were all professionals, and I learned just from them
the power of networking, the power of getting outside of
your own space, outside of your head, and just getting
(17:32):
into spaces even when you're uncomfortable, even when you're on
sure even you know, when in the military, I used
to have leaders that would say, you should reach out
to this person, so you know, you should connect with
this person, and they do that in the civilian sector.
When you get around in different networking groups, reach out,
(17:52):
you know, if nothing else show up. Because what I
found that you can you can really find your commun unity.
You can really get the support you need to get
to the next level. Like I said, we are not
meant to do this alone. So especially for US military
women and men, you know, embrace the journey, embrace the
(18:17):
what we say, the suck, you know, and step out
be uncomfortable. You know, it's okay to be on shore.
It's okay to not know because when you just you
you have.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
To get vulnerable, right and.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
A mentor a coach, even therapy if that's what you need,
can be you know, just a game changer in your
life and in your in your business. You gotta surround
yourself with like minded individuals who can uplift and inspire
you because there is power in community and you deserve,
(18:55):
we all deserve to feel supported on our journey. And
the last one, which you know, all of these are
all of these just really is what I did because
they all apply to me on my you know, on
my journey and on my growth and they still do today.
So the last one is to give yourself permission to
(19:17):
change directions, to pivot.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
And this is a big one.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because changing direction can seem like failure. It can seem
like you don't know what you're doing. In my case,
I didn't, so but you can have so many ideas
and maybe where you started today, Like I started out
as a fitness trainer, but that's not what I'm doing today.
I'm now a coach for female veterans. But that foundation
(19:47):
is what led me to this part. It is part
of my experience, you know, to where I am today.
So just pivoting, you don't have to keep doing what
you're doing just because as you started there doesn't mean
that's where you have to end. You know, pipping is
not failure, it's growth, and every PITHO that is a
(20:08):
step closer to you discovering who you truly are. It's
a step towards you figuring out you know, how to
live unapologetically because it comes with so much more. It
comes with deep diving into who you are as a person,
understanding you know and navigating different different, different directions your emotions,
(20:35):
just finance. It is so much that comes with living unapologetically.
So I laid out five practical tips and I want
to just read them, like list them again for you.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
So if you're writing this down here, they are reflect on.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Your values, set meaningful goals, be intentional about those goals,
celebrate those non traditional wins. And two more, find a
mentor and build your support system. And lastly, give yourself
permission to pivot.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Right. So I want to share another story of how
I a story of let me share a story.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Okay, So a few years ago, maybe a year ago,
I was part of a leadership group in the city
of Griffin and I was doing I was focusing on
the veteran population and I met I had her as
a guest on my show as Cassandra Brownie.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
She's a retired Master sergeant.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
So prior to meeting her, and prior to this leadership
course that I was in, one of my goals was
to start a nonprofit. I Like I said, I had
a basic concept of what I wanted it to look like,
especially since I had transitioned to the coaching space. Wanting
to empower female veterans, you know, I wanted to provide
(22:02):
them with the resources and access to those resources.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
A lot of times there's a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
On the internet or you know, on the BA website,
and I love that now the BA is really really
doing more.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
For female veterans for women veterans.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But back to my story, I wanted to start a
nonprofit and then in you know, to provide the resources
and everything that the female veteran need to transition successfully
to feel empowered during their transition.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I met Sondra.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I had met Sondra prior to this this particular event,
but I had never really connected with her.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
And so in doing my research for leadership.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Conference, I was asking around who can I get the
numbers from for the veterans in the.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Community, and it all roads led to Sondra. So I
was like, Okay, let me connect with her.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I met Sandra, and this story is going to where
you I'll say, what is going to at the end.
So I met her and she invited me to visit
her so we have two facilities. I am now her
vice president of discovering Soldier's Potential her nonprofit the second
(23:15):
time around, discoverning Soldier's Potential the second time around. So
she invited me to tour the second facility. We opened
up a second facility in the Grange, Georgia, and on this.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Tour, I was more intrigued.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I was so enthralled with how her heart and soul
was into this project and it actually aligned with my
mission in vision. Her mission and vision aligned with mine,
and she started this nonprofit eight years ago in a
dunkin Donuts, and I'm so impressed with that because she
has two facilities today. And I say all of that
(23:55):
to say, sometimes we want to start our own thing,
and there's nothing wrong with that. But just like Soandra
had a mission and vision that aligned with mine, what
I did was this, I bought into.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Her mission and vision and it wasn't her sale.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
It wasn't you know, it wasn't too hard because like
I said, there was alignment in it. We're both wanting
to support the veterans, the veteran community through their transition,
through getting their claims and benefit through their mental health.
You know, providing them with resources to the job market.
So there are times that we may we may be
(24:33):
sitting there just really trying to figure out how can
I what can I do? What?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
You know, we're where, you know, how can I really.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Figure out what my purpose is and the moral is.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You can also just collaborate.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
You can join forces with other organizations, because one of
the things I do think is that there are so
many organizations doing the same thing, and in my opinion,
we can just join forces. We can collaborate, we can
connect and make that organization a lot more powerful with
all the skills and leadership that we have.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Right instead of just.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
You have your your organization here, I have one here,
someone has having just come together because we're all working
towards the same goal, the same mission, which is to
provide what our audience needs. And that's the other thing
I want to encourage you. If you're just really trying
to figure out what your next step is, join volunteer somewhere.
(25:38):
Volunteer with an organization that speaks to your values, and
then branch out from there, whether you stay with them
or not. No, at least it's a start, you know,
just start your story, start your journey. You don't have
to do it alone. So here's my challenge to you
(25:58):
for this week. I would challenge you to spend at
least fifteen minutes reflecting on what success means to you
right now, not what it used to me right not
what society says it should mean, but what feels true
for you. And then take us take that step to
honor that you know because and remember that it can change,
(26:23):
it can pivot. But for this, just take some time
and figure out you know, jot down and I would
encourage you to do it like it's just write, do
not edit, just write out everything that comes top of
mind right and so that you can kind of identify
(26:43):
what that means for you. And if you feel called,
you could share it with my audience or someone you trust.
And because your growth deserves to be celebrated. So that
is what I have for you today. I really hope
this message. You found this message to be a value
(27:04):
add I hope it was confirmation for someone and I
hope it did inspire you to look at success on
your terms.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
It does.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
It's not a cookie cutter concept. Success is just not
a cookie cutter concept. It comes with highs and lows.
It comes with success, you know, small wins. It comes
with failures. With failure is growth. It comes with changing directions.
You know, there's so much too being successful, and it's
(27:36):
it doesn't have to look like the next person.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
It doesn't have to look like what society says. It is.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Whatever that is for you, it is right, okay, whether
you want to make millions, it's right. Your success is
your success. What it looks like to you, it's that's
that's right. So just know that it's also a living,
breathing part of who you are. And it's okay. Your
definition changes as you grow. If it's about healing, it's okay.
(28:05):
If it changes as you heal, and as you and
and it, and it's okay to it because it's going
to evolve each and every time.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So remember your rank.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
And your title may up may have been a part
of who you are. It may have been your a
part of your identity. You know, for many of us,
we've served for for years in the military, and it's
very hard to to to really come out of that.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
You know, I still struggle. I still use military jargon.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I still you know, I still revert to a lot
of my to who I was in the military.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
But you know I know how.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
To use those those experiences and those skills in a
in a much better way now moving forward. So, like
I said, your rank and your title may have been
in a part of your identity when you were serving,
but it doesn't define the powerful, resilient, and capable individual.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You are today.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And for my female veniants, it doesn't define the capable
woman you are today. You have the courage to pivot,
you have the strength to take risk, and you have
the wisdom to create a life that aligns with your
purpose and your values. So remember, your past was extraordinary,
(29:32):
but your future is where the magic lies. Take the
time this week, as I said, to rediscover, redefine, and
recreate what success is for you, and take small steps
toward the life that you truly want. You are more
(29:53):
than just enough. You know you are capable, like I said,
to build a future that you're proud of.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
So thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear
more of your thoughts, so drop me a message and
share your.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Reflections with me.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Don't forget to subscribe so that you don't miss upcoming
episodes and my future guests. Until then, keep living unapologetically
and embrace the journey beyond the uniform.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
This has been living unapologetically beyond the uniform with your host,
Renee Jones Hudson. We hope you found inspiration and valuable
insights in today's episode. Remember your journey of redefining we
discover re affirming your life post military is unique and powerful.
Stay connected with us for more stories, advice and support.
(30:55):
Until next time, Stay strong and stay empowered. Listen Friday
is eleven am Eastern on the Bold Brave TV network,
powered by B two Studios
Are you a transitioning military or veteran woman looking for support, guidance,
and inspiration. You've come to the right place. Welcome to
Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform with your host, Renee Jones Hudson.
Renee brings powerful stories, practical advice, and expert insights to
help you redifine, rediscover, and reaffirm your life after military service,
(00:44):
whether navigating a career change, seeking personal growth, or focusing
on your well being. We are here to empower you
every step of the way. So welcome the host of
Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform, Renee Jones Hudson. Let's embark
on this journey together.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hi, everyone, Welcome to Living Unapologetically Beyond the Uniform. I'm
your host, Renee and Shussen, and to guys today about
redefining success beyond the uniform. So this episode is especially
for my female veterans, those navigating the transition, or even
(01:34):
those who have been far removed from it and wanting to,
you know, really understand the success the difference of success
now and when they're in the military. So what we're
going to talk about is letting go of all definitions,
embracing new possibilities and just finding fulfillment on your urn.
(01:56):
So just sit back and and just you know, let's
go on this journey with me. So when I first
transitioned from the military out of the Army, I did
not realize how much my success was tied to my service.
(02:17):
It was.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Tied to you know, me making rank.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
You know, the missions I accomplished, the leading my soldiers.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I was very good at pts.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
It was about me always maxing out my PT test.
I was also a part of one of the elite
clubs in the military, the Autography Club.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
All of that, you know, was really kind of what
defined me when I was in the service.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
But you know, when I transitioned.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I learned a powerful lesson that success isn't just about
what you do. It's about who you are, the value
you at to others, and the impact that you leave behind.
And that's what we're going to talk about today, just
redefining success and moving beyond your your position, your rank,
(03:12):
and your title.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So I want to talk about why this is so hard.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
In the military, success was clearly defined.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know, you accomplished the mission, you.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Achieve your rank, you get to the next rank, and
then you earn awards for all of that, and so
there was a roadmap, there was a structure that you
follow to do these things, and the basic thing was
just to be at.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
The right place, in the right uniform at the right
time right.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
But it becomes objective on the civilian side, and for
a many of us that can have a feeling like
we're starting from scratch, and especially for female veterans, you know,
I feel like, well, I won't say I feel, but
in most cases, we're underrepresented in leadership roles. We're underestimated
(04:10):
in our potential, in our abilities and our capabilities, and
sometimes we're just juggling a lot of roles. We're juggling motherhood,
we're juggling being a leader being. In my case, and
I'll share an example of this, we're juggling being a caregiver.
(04:31):
So with all of those things, it can have us
feeling lost or you know, lost, especially when we're doing
so much. And I want to talk about a specific
like my I have two children. I have a twenty
five year old and almost twelve year old. But when
I was a company commander, my son was in high school,
(04:53):
he was he was one of the start athletes on
his football team. My husband and I, I want to
give some context, we're both we're dual military, like both
of us.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Served at the same time.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
So at the time that my son was in high school,
my daughter was an infant, and I was in command.
And this is some of the things I feel like
some of us female veterans we struggle with. So I
was in command, my son expected me to be at
his football games. I had to run my unit and
(05:27):
you know, be a mom at the same time. So
there were many times that I did not make his
games at the start of the games and so, but
he was looking for me to be there. And this
is a part of us juggling the many hats, the
responsibilities that we have, you know. But at the time,
I had made a commitment that at least if I
(05:48):
made it to halftime, you know, I could see the
second half of this game, because he would always look
up in the stands to see who we were there.
His dad traveled a lot, so when that happened, a
lot of responsibilities fellow me to make sure he has
someone supporting him.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
And so I do.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Understand where sometimes we feel so lost about, you know,
our roles.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
You know, when we have so many roles that we
have to take on.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
But here's the thing with defining success on this side
of on this a sibyan, just know that you're not
starting over. You are just starting from experience. And that's
what we're gonna do to Hey, We're gonna reframe what
success looks like for you. Why this matters is because
(06:38):
we we don't want to just keep chasing what we've
always known.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
You know.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
The truth is if we cling to all.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Definitions of what success looks like and that definition no
longer service, we're gonna limit our growth and we're gonna
just We're not gonna be happy.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
We're not gonna feel fulfilled. You know.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
We end up pursuing goals that may look good on paper,
but they leave us feeling disconnected. When I first got
out of the military, I opened up a fitness studio.
To be honest, when I retired, I didn't have a
clear plan and it wasn't because of any ill reasons
(07:21):
why I'm tired. I just felt like there was something
I just wanted to do more, and I wanted to
do it outside of the uniform. I retired about age forty,
so i'd been in there from the age of eighteen,
got out at age forty, and I just was one
day I was like, you know what, I want to
do something else I wanted. This was good, this was great.
I want to I want to find out what's available.
(07:42):
So I got out, no plan, actually had a job interview.
They took two weeks to respond to me, and even
during the interview I was I was like, this is
really not what I want to do, this is not
where I want to be.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
I aced the interview.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
They called me back in two weeks and out of
the blue, and I kid you not out of the blue,
I responded, I declined. I declined the offer and said
I was going to start my business. Now I didn't
know what business I was going to start because I
did not have a plan.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So I'm I. You know when I when I.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Said to my husband, I'm going to start a business,
he was like, why would you do that?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
You know you don't even have a plan, And he
was right. But that was what came up for me.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Now with all the experience that I had, the leadership experience,
the skills. I was an athlete. I was very good
with physical fitness.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
I was a.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Former professional athlete, a bodybuilder figure competitor to be exact.
So and I was also certified as a personal trainer.
So I did the next mess thing. I opened up
a fitness studio. I started that business in my garage
and evolved to a to an actual brick and mortar.
(09:03):
But even in doing that, you know, I did that afraid,
I did it unsure, you know. And I did it
just with the skills and the abilities that I had prior,
you know, prior to getting out of the military. So
(09:23):
and even with that, I want to say that success
evolves when we evolve.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
It evolves when you evolved.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
You know, It's more than just about titles and paycheck.
It's about finding fulfillent, purpose and alignment. And I felt
more aligned at the time. I'm going to talk about
pivoting later, but I felt more aligned with opening my
own business and.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Just you know, doing.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Something that I that I felt was pulling me more
in the direction I wanted to do, which was to
support other women and support other people on their way
class journey. For me, the it just boils out to
me wanting to help people. And I know it sounds simple,
but it's at the core of it all I want
to support the next person and on this journey. For
(10:15):
me right now, it's about supporting other female veterans.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
So today, for.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Me, success is about helping other female veterans step into
their power and just live unapologetically. And the unapologetic part
because I know we talk about, you know, living unapologetically
all the time, and it comes with it comes with
just embracing the journey because but it comes with a
(10:47):
sort of ease, the ease that you know you're still
moving towards I'm not saying it's easy, there's an ease
and knowing that you're working towards what feeds you, what
fuels you. So living unapologetically comes with self self awareness,
it comes with personal growth and development. It comes with
(11:11):
nurturing you know, relationships and acquiring new skills, and it's
it's more about creating an impact and adding value to
you know, the world. And I got that from John Maxwell,
who I had the pleasure of meeting I think in
(11:32):
the latter part of the pandemic. I got a chance
to to you know, sit in on one of his conferences,
to meet him personally.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And it's and it is just about that.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
It's not just about an image you know, it's just
it's about helping the next person get to where they
need to because we all, we all need support and
we can't do this alone. So the question I want
you to carry with you today is, you know, what
does success mean to you right now?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
What does that look like for you?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And it does not have to look like my success,
It doesn't have to look like your your neighbor's success.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
You know what does that mean to you right now?
What is success for you? And with that, I want
to I want to leave you.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I want to provide you with some tips to redefine
what success is for you. And I kind of drop
these down because I didn't want to forget them. So
the first one is to reflect on your values. Like
I said, what truly matters to you? What is it
that brings you joy, that gives you purpose, that sense
(12:39):
of purpose and fulfillment.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
And I would encourage.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
You to to really sit and reflect on what that
is for you. You know, a prompt that I could give
you is what would success look like if no one
else was watching? And let that guide your vision. Let
that guide you know how you define success on your terms.
(13:03):
The other number two is to set meaningful goals and
be intentional with those goals. You know, instead of chasing
what you think you should be doing, set goals that
align with your values. When I first opened up my
fitness to you, like I said, I did not have
a plan, So I was just feeding into everything everyone suggested,
(13:26):
and they did it with good intentions, right everything everyone
was suggesting to me that I should do to get more.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Visible, to you know, to just make more money.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
I was just falling into everybody's vision of what my
success should look like, and it was very frustrating because
it didn't align with where I wanted to go.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
I didn't have a clear strategy, so.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
It made you know, everything that I was getting fed
it it became too much. So instead of chasing what
you think you should be doing, secals that align with
your values. You know, maybe it's improving your health, getting
better sleep, nurturing relationships, or you know, starting your own business.
(14:15):
It's not about how big the goal is. It's about
how much it matters to you. You know, how much
it's going to feed your soul, how much it's going
to feed what you are trying, the impact that you're
trying to make. This third one, celebrate non traditional wins,
and this one is really important to me because it's
(14:37):
something I didn't do. So in the Militariya, We're used
to big measurable accomplishments, right You you pass the PT test,
you get a pee patch, You go to Airssalt school
or air or air Salt, air salt or air board school,
(14:57):
you get you get another badge, you you get promoted.
You know, all of these things. You go to the
automurphy board, you're now you're part of the elite club.
You know, all of those things are big measurable accomplishments.
But outside the uniform, there's a lot of smaller, quieter
(15:18):
wins that we do not acknowledge. So things like me
getting to attend my daughter's cheer cheer cheer competitions. You know,
when I was in the military, I didn't even have
time for my son, so I couldn't show up.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
For his games. So being able to do that, you know, is.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
An accomplishment is something to celebrate, you know, being able
to you know, manage my time, you know, really have
the flexibility to schedule and unschedule things at will, Being
able to continue with learning, you know, just the thing is,
(15:58):
you know, challenge yourself. Did I take a leap of
faith today? Did I prioritize rest? You know, did I
show up for myself? Those are wins that are worth celebrating,
and I would venture to say sometimes they overlook many
of us overlook those, you know. The fourth one is
to find a mentor and have a support system. And
(16:22):
this one, this one has been very pivotal for me
in my in my journey as an entrepreneur. We are
not meant to do to be on this journey alone,
and oftentimes speaking for myself. Even when I got out
of the military, and it was really a lot, it
(16:45):
was based a lot on fear.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
I was afraid to ask for help.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I was afraid to look stupid as a business owner.
I know that, you know, but that's where I was.
I was afraid to say I didn't know, you know.
And I don't know if it was pride or whatever,
but I know it played into me, not elevated and
once I realized, and I will say this too, with
(17:11):
the help of my clients. I had very great clients
when I first opened my business. They were all business owners,
they were all professionals, and I learned just from them
the power of networking, the power of getting outside of
your own space, outside of your head, and just getting
(17:32):
into spaces even when you're uncomfortable, even when you're on
sure even you know, when in the military, I used
to have leaders that would say, you should reach out
to this person, so you know, you should connect with
this person, and they do that in the civilian sector.
When you get around in different networking groups, reach out,
(17:52):
you know, if nothing else show up. Because what I
found that you can you can really find your commun unity.
You can really get the support you need to get
to the next level. Like I said, we are not
meant to do this alone. So especially for US military
women and men, you know, embrace the journey, embrace the
(18:17):
what we say, the suck, you know, and step out
be uncomfortable. You know, it's okay to be on shore.
It's okay to not know because when you just you
you have.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
To get vulnerable, right and.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
A mentor a coach, even therapy if that's what you need,
can be you know, just a game changer in your
life and in your in your business. You gotta surround
yourself with like minded individuals who can uplift and inspire
you because there is power in community and you deserve,
(18:55):
we all deserve to feel supported on our journey. And
the last one, which you know, all of these are
all of these just really is what I did because
they all apply to me on my you know, on
my journey and on my growth and they still do today.
So the last one is to give yourself permission to
(19:17):
change directions, to pivot.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
And this is a big one.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Because changing direction can seem like failure. It can seem
like you don't know what you're doing. In my case,
I didn't, so but you can have so many ideas
and maybe where you started today, Like I started out
as a fitness trainer, but that's not what I'm doing today.
I'm now a coach for female veterans. But that foundation
(19:47):
is what led me to this part. It is part
of my experience, you know, to where I am today.
So just pivoting, you don't have to keep doing what
you're doing just because as you started there doesn't mean
that's where you have to end. You know, pipping is
not failure, it's growth, and every PITHO that is a
(20:08):
step closer to you discovering who you truly are. It's
a step towards you figuring out you know, how to
live unapologetically because it comes with so much more. It
comes with deep diving into who you are as a person,
understanding you know and navigating different different, different directions your emotions,
(20:35):
just finance. It is so much that comes with living unapologetically.
So I laid out five practical tips and I want
to just read them, like list them again for you.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
So if you're writing this down here, they are reflect on.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Your values, set meaningful goals, be intentional about those goals,
celebrate those non traditional wins. And two more, find a
mentor and build your support system. And lastly, give yourself
permission to pivot.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Right. So I want to share another story of how
I a story of let me share a story.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Okay, So a few years ago, maybe a year ago,
I was part of a leadership group in the city
of Griffin and I was doing I was focusing on
the veteran population and I met I had her as
a guest on my show as Cassandra Brownie.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
She's a retired Master sergeant.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
So prior to meeting her, and prior to this leadership
course that I was in, one of my goals was
to start a nonprofit. I Like I said, I had
a basic concept of what I wanted it to look like,
especially since I had transitioned to the coaching space. Wanting
to empower female veterans, you know, I wanted to provide
(22:02):
them with the resources and access to those resources.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
A lot of times there's a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
On the internet or you know, on the BA website,
and I love that now the BA is really really
doing more.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
For female veterans for women veterans.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But back to my story, I wanted to start a
nonprofit and then in you know, to provide the resources
and everything that the female veteran need to transition successfully
to feel empowered during their transition.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I met Sondra.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I had met Sondra prior to this this particular event,
but I had never really connected with her.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
And so in doing my research for leadership.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Conference, I was asking around who can I get the
numbers from for the veterans in the.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Community, and it all roads led to Sondra. So I
was like, Okay, let me connect with her.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I met Sandra, and this story is going to where
you I'll say, what is going to at the end.
So I met her and she invited me to visit
her so we have two facilities. I am now her
vice president of discovering Soldier's Potential her nonprofit the second
(23:15):
time around, discoverning Soldier's Potential the second time around. So
she invited me to tour the second facility. We opened
up a second facility in the Grange, Georgia, and on this.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
Tour, I was more intrigued.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
I was so enthralled with how her heart and soul
was into this project and it actually aligned with my
mission in vision. Her mission and vision aligned with mine,
and she started this nonprofit eight years ago in a
dunkin Donuts, and I'm so impressed with that because she
has two facilities today. And I say all of that
(23:55):
to say, sometimes we want to start our own thing,
and there's nothing wrong with that. But just like Soandra
had a mission and vision that aligned with mine, what
I did was this, I bought into.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Her mission and vision and it wasn't her sale.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
It wasn't you know, it wasn't too hard because like
I said, there was alignment in it. We're both wanting
to support the veterans, the veteran community through their transition,
through getting their claims and benefit through their mental health.
You know, providing them with resources to the job market.
So there are times that we may we may be
(24:33):
sitting there just really trying to figure out how can
I what can I do? What?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
You know, we're where, you know, how can I really.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Figure out what my purpose is and the moral is.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
You can also just collaborate.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
You can join forces with other organizations, because one of
the things I do think is that there are so
many organizations doing the same thing, and in my opinion,
we can just join forces. We can collaborate, we can
connect and make that organization a lot more powerful with
all the skills and leadership that we have.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Right instead of just.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
You have your your organization here, I have one here,
someone has having just come together because we're all working
towards the same goal, the same mission, which is to
provide what our audience needs. And that's the other thing
I want to encourage you. If you're just really trying
to figure out what your next step is, join volunteer somewhere.
(25:38):
Volunteer with an organization that speaks to your values, and
then branch out from there, whether you stay with them
or not. No, at least it's a start, you know,
just start your story, start your journey. You don't have
to do it alone. So here's my challenge to you
(25:58):
for this week. I would challenge you to spend at
least fifteen minutes reflecting on what success means to you
right now, not what it used to me right not
what society says it should mean, but what feels true
for you. And then take us take that step to
honor that you know because and remember that it can change,
(26:23):
it can pivot. But for this, just take some time
and figure out you know, jot down and I would
encourage you to do it like it's just write, do
not edit, just write out everything that comes top of
mind right and so that you can kind of identify
(26:43):
what that means for you. And if you feel called,
you could share it with my audience or someone you trust.
And because your growth deserves to be celebrated. So that
is what I have for you today. I really hope
this message. You found this message to be a value
(27:04):
add I hope it was confirmation for someone and I
hope it did inspire you to look at success on
your terms.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
It does.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
It's not a cookie cutter concept. Success is just not
a cookie cutter concept. It comes with highs and lows.
It comes with success, you know, small wins. It comes
with failures. With failure is growth. It comes with changing directions.
You know, there's so much too being successful, and it's
(27:36):
it doesn't have to look like the next person.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
It doesn't have to look like what society says. It is.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Whatever that is for you, it is right, okay, whether
you want to make millions, it's right. Your success is
your success. What it looks like to you, it's that's
that's right. So just know that it's also a living,
breathing part of who you are. And it's okay. Your
definition changes as you grow. If it's about healing, it's okay.
(28:05):
If it changes as you heal, and as you and
and it, and it's okay to it because it's going
to evolve each and every time.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
So remember your rank.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
And your title may up may have been a part
of who you are. It may have been your a
part of your identity. You know, for many of us,
we've served for for years in the military, and it's
very hard to to to really come out of that.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
You know, I still struggle. I still use military jargon.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I still you know, I still revert to a lot
of my to who I was in the military.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
But you know I know how.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
To use those those experiences and those skills in a
in a much better way now moving forward. So, like
I said, your rank and your title may have been
in a part of your identity when you were serving,
but it doesn't define the powerful, resilient, and capable individual.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
You are today.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
And for my female veniants, it doesn't define the capable
woman you are today. You have the courage to pivot,
you have the strength to take risk, and you have
the wisdom to create a life that aligns with your
purpose and your values. So remember, your past was extraordinary,
(29:32):
but your future is where the magic lies. Take the
time this week, as I said, to rediscover, redefine, and
recreate what success is for you, and take small steps
toward the life that you truly want. You are more
(29:53):
than just enough. You know you are capable, like I said,
to build a future that you're proud of.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
So thank you for joining me today.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear
more of your thoughts, so drop me a message and
share your.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Reflections with me.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Don't forget to subscribe so that you don't miss upcoming
episodes and my future guests. Until then, keep living unapologetically
and embrace the journey beyond the uniform.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
This has been living unapologetically beyond the uniform with your host,
Renee Jones Hudson. We hope you found inspiration and valuable
insights in today's episode. Remember your journey of redefining we
discover re affirming your life post military is unique and powerful.
Stay connected with us for more stories, advice and support.
(30:55):
Until next time, Stay strong and stay empowered. Listen Friday
is eleven am Eastern on the Bold Brave TV network,
powered by B two Studios
Popular Podcasts
Spooky Podcasts from iHeartRadio
Whether you’re a scaredy-cat or a brave bat, this collection of episodes from iHeartPodcasts will put you in the Halloween spirit. Binge stories, frights, and more that may keep you up at night!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.