February 7, 2025 • 66 mins
Rochelle "SLAY" Hemingway is a proud United States Air Force veteran who dedicated 30 years to serving her country, rising to Command Chief Master Sergeant at Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. A highly decorated combat veteran, she served at 10 military bases and deployed to five locations globally. Rochelle now channels her leadership and discipline into SLAY To Success, a business focused on empowering professional women, especially women veterans. As a sought-after keynote speaker, certified image consultant, 4x author, talk show host, and personal brand expert, she inspires women to confidently embrace their authentic best selves, focusing on appearance, body language, communication skills, and digital presence to gain the right opportunities. Rochelle holds a Master of Science in Strategic Leadership and is passionate about transforming lives through personal branding and empowerment. She is a member of the Business Women's Network of Howard County, Greater Crofton Chamber of Commerce, Air Force Sergeant's Association, and National Black Veteran Association.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Are you a transitioning military or veteran woman looking for support, guidance,
and inspiration. You've come to the right place. Welcome to
living unapologetically beyond the Uniform with your host, Renee Jones Hudson.
Renee brings powerful stories, practical advice, and expert insights to
help you redefine, rediscover, and reaffirm your life after military service,
(00:46):
whether navigating a career change, seeking personal growth, or focusing
on your well being. We are here to empower you
every step of the way. So welcome the host of
living unapologetically Beyond the Uniform, Renee Jones Hudson. Let's embark
on this journey together.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Welcome back to another empowering episode of living unapologetically beyond
the uniform. Today we have a powerhouse in the building.
She is the epitome of leadership, of resilience, and of transformation.
(01:34):
She is none other than Rochelle Slay, Queen Hemingway, and y'all,
she's not just a leader, she is a movement. She
is an Air Force veteran of thirty years who has
a wealth of knowledge and experience in leadership and public speaking.
(01:55):
And that lets you know she knows exactly what it
takes to commit and presence, to influence change and to
redefine success. And that's all of what we're going to
dive into today. But wait, there's more. She is also
the CEO and founder of Slay to Success and this
(02:17):
slate queen is on a mission to help organizations and
individuals with elevating their personal brand, with their leadership skills,
with transforming their mindset, and with strengthening their overall wellness.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
There's more.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
She's also a transformationist, speaker, an image consultant, and the
author of three books, Slay to Success, Own Your Power,
and Elevate Your Image, and also a contributing author to
I had to write this one down Base Go Boom
Volume one, Bouncing Back. So Rochelle and I met over
(03:00):
LinkedIn and we continued to conversation offline and it was
just a whole vibe and that's the vibe I want
you all to experience today. So if you're ready to
slay your leadership, own your power, and elevate your life,
then buckle up because today's episode is going to be
(03:20):
a good one. So Rachelle, welcome to the show, and
thank you again for being here.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Oh my goodness. I am so happy to be here.
This is going to be so exciting, y'all. I just
cannot wait to be here this night. Thank you so much.
Of course, of.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Course, of course, so before we dive in, just tell
our listeners a little bit more about who you are
and how you started in a little bit of your wife.
We're gonna get into it, but just give them a
snippet right now.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Absolutely, I'm so hello everyone. My name is Rochelle Slay
or Slay Queen Hemingway. I am originally from a small
town called Kokomo, Indiana, and one day I found myself
in the Air Force recruiting office and I enlisted into
the Air Force in nineteen ninety one and I retired
(04:19):
after seven thirty years in twenty twenty one. And so
when I retired, I was, like a lot of people
that I know, was struggling trying to figure out what
I was going to do in this next chapter. And
I decided to write a book about my experience in
the military. And it was the start that was what
(04:42):
all started with what I'm doing right now, and I'm
now the CEO and founder of Slay Slay to Success.
So that's a little bit about the journey, even though
there's a lot that's in there, but you taste of
what I've been able to do.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You Yeah, so you know what I got from what
you said, you know, And this is something that I
think you and I talked about. But it's permission. You know,
first you realized you had to give yourself permission.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And it's like.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
You're giving You're just out here telling people, Hey, you
got permission.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Can you talk then about that?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Because you know how we feel about permission in the military, right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Like okay, So for anybody who's ever been in a
conformed environment like the military setting, people tell you what
to do all the time. Do people tell you, hey,
these are the rules, it's the structure. Here are the policies,
Air Force instructions, you know, so you must follow these things.
And I found myself really at points where I'm thinking,
(05:49):
like why am.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I doing this?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Like what is this policy? And why was it created?
Especially like the last five to seven years of my career.
So I started to move differently in my last five
to seven years, and because I had been in for
a while, so I started to realize that there was
a lot of things within me that I wanted to
(06:12):
express outwardly, but I really couldn't do it like I
wanted to. I was just on the fence about what
it would look like. And when I just decided, you
know what, I'm just going to lay it out there,
all right, I'm going to adopt the word slay. That
is my word. It came from a tragic loss that
(06:35):
I had one of my airmen who lost his battle
with depression. His favorite word was slay and he used
to tell me all the time, chief, and chief was
my title in the military. You slaying it. So I
used his word after his loss to keep his memory alive.
But I didn't know exactly what I would do with it.
So before I went to my last role, which was
(06:58):
one of the roles, I was one of the three
people making all the decisions on the installation about whatever
we were doing in the mission, and I just started
to use the word. I just said, you know what,
I'm going to use the word slay on emails. I'm
going to use it as I'm talking. And people started
to realize that it was just a part of me,
(07:20):
like this is a piece that they had never seen before.
And so I just gave my permission to say, you
know what, use the word as a way to inspire
and motivate others. I broke it out as well, so
for your audience, you know, and I know that sometimes
people are like, I don't even know what this word means,
(07:41):
but it means to kill it, to dominate it, and
to nail it, to be on point, tomass great right,
to impress greatly, to dream big and work hard until
you own it. And so I had been doing that
all throughout my career, So why couldn't I do that
here in my civilian life, you know what I mean?
So I carried that and then it's the philosophies that
(08:04):
really resonated true to me while it was in the
uniform that I still carry on now. And so the
letter is also an acronym, so letter you do. Yes, yes,
we turn everything into acronym. And so I mean, stay ready,
(08:25):
to be ready, lead out loud, a sense of community,
a sense of family, and you are built to last.
So that's what we're doing now.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You know what I liked about what you said, which
I can kind of relate to because I did twenty
one and a half years. But I remember that same
feeling where I'm like, Okay, why do I have to
do this again? Like I started questioning things a lot more,
and like you said, you shifted, you know, But.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
What I loved is you started embodying.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You started not you know, making slave, you started becoming slave. Right, So,
and that's what you're talking about, creating your own personal brand.
That's what it's all about, creating your brand. So now
when I look up, I know Slay is the Slave
Queen is Rochelle right, yes, And it's not hard to miss.
(09:24):
It is not hard to miss because you have to
pick going, which I love. Right, So you're we can
see you from a from a mody way, even if
we don't know who your name, We're like, oh, that's
the Slave Queen.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And that's kind of what you're you're saying, give yourself
permission to be who you want to be.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, So I don't know what I did.
Go ahead, no, no, no, go ahead. So you know,
the personal branding is one of the things that I
didn't realize that I was doing while it was in uniform.
It wasn't until after I retired and someone said, hey,
your branding is on point, Like you got this all down,
(10:08):
like you are the brand, Like how does that happen?
And I said, well, because I started to listen in
onto who I am and trust myself and believe myself
that this is the path that I should go into,
and not only creating the slave as a means it's
a vehicle, it's a tool, you know, so that way
(10:30):
I can go into speaking engagements, consulting, you know. And
I've gotten to a place in my business where I've
gotten faster, you know, like really seeing the growth over
a short period of time because I decided to take
this on like completely, and it's on purpose. Like everything
(10:53):
that I'm doing is on purpose, and I am attracting
the right opportunities, the right people like yourself, you know,
people that are in alignment because I was like, these
are my values, these are this is my vision, this
is what I want to do for the remainder of
my life. So that isn't you know for me the
(11:15):
transformation part that really like blows my mind over the
past few years. I'm like, wow, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's it's something to be said, because you know how
you said attracting the right people.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I was on LinkedIn. I really don't know how I.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Came how you came up, just appeared. Maybe I manifested you,
but I looked at I might have read maybe three.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Lines of what you. I was like, ooh, I got
to know her, like I really.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So I sent you a message and I was like,
I hope this lady responded me.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
But you responded right away.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
And you know what I loved for the first the
first time we spoke, I think we spoke for almost
two hours, if not over that we haven't lived force
ourselves off off the call. But that is so important though,
and it's speaks you gotta attract, you know what you want,
and that that's also how are you showing up in life,
(12:15):
because that's the type of people and things that you're
gonna attract. And that's very important, which leads me to
my next point, because you know, many of us we
get out of the military, and you and I talked
about this, and you know, we talked about we used
to get paid to do pets right, to be fit right,
all this stuff that we take for granted now, and
(12:37):
it's you know, for many of us, we just kind of,
you know, we just kind of pull back from the
things that we learned in the military.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
We kind of let ourselves go.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And it's not not a fault, you know. It's sometimes
it's because we don't know how to translate all of
what we've done, who we are, you know, and figure
out Okay, who on mind this next chapter? You started
doing that before you got out. You started you know,
craft and that before you got out. So I want
(13:08):
you to I want you to explain to our audience
why personal branding is important and because you spoke to
it as to it getting you into different places faster,
so you know, just kind of educate us on why
that is such an important piece.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
That's such a good, good question. So I realized when
I retired that there was some sort of a transition
that I really need to go through the process. I
really need to recognize what was going on around me.
(13:49):
And I moved. We moved from South Dakota here to
Maryland without knowing anybody, and I started to think about
what is it that I really like to do, Like
what did I master in the military that I could
do in my sleep? Okay, And I just started to
(14:10):
move that way. So I love to speak, So I
got my Motivational Speaker certification, and I love to get
dressed up I loved the dressing in Appearance instruction that
we had in the military because it was like all
the details.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yes, it's like, yes.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
I use that in this civilian sector, civilian life, and
you talk about health and wellness? How can I use
PT if you will differently? And what does that all
look like? So I pretty much redesign my life as
(14:52):
to what I wanted to be. And so I said, Okay,
you waking up. You're not waking up at four o'clock
in the morning. Okay, you used to do that and
working out because you couldn't get it in during the day.
You're going to ease and flow into your day. What
time is it that you want to wake up and
start your day? That to me is seven seven thirty. Okay,
(15:13):
I have we have a son. I want to see
him get on the bus because I didn't get a
chance to do that a lot when I was in uniform. Okay,
after he gets on the bus, I work out, you know,
and then I can start doing some business networking. I
want to I want to be able to introduce myself.
How am I going to introduce myself now? It allowed
(15:34):
me to really think about what it is that I
want to communicate what stories I wanted to share, how
I could serve others in this next And that's kind
of how I just did. I just started to say
I wanted to be an influencer, and that's where I'm
(15:57):
at right now. It's like, how do you become an
influencer with somebody that was in the military for a
very long time. Yes, I'm fifty two, I have a
short window lane slaying. Okay, I need a there's a
short window of opportunity. How can I maximize that?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Right?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
So it's like restructuring, redesigning, reimaging, reinventing yourself after service,
but getting there to a point where you can see
yourself like from head to toe, like what is it
what you want to do? And that's like how I've
(16:41):
done what I you know, like this journey, this path
that I'm going on into and again, I am so
grateful that I get to in this next you know
what I mean. It's not like I have to do anything.
I get to wake up, build a business to do
things that are so enlightening and enriching, you know, and purposeful.
(17:07):
So yeah, that's just you know, I think it's we
make things too hard for ourselves. Yes, we need get
into what we really feel that is pulling us. What
is and what you want to do?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, you know, I I love what you said about,
you know, embracing the transition.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I don't think many of us do that very well.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Me included, you know well what I but you know,
and I'm really grateful to God because He's put people
in my path unbeknownst to me who kind of showed
me or you know who I could look at at
least and say, Okay, maybe this is what I should
be doing. But you know, one of the things which
(17:50):
is what pulled me to you because you talk about
all the reads to coming you know, coming back. You know,
my mission as well is to help women and redefine,
rediscover and recreate themselves post military, which is essentially your
your messaging, right, And that's why I wanted to really
(18:11):
align myself with you, because as you spoke about it,
we do not embrace that transition properly. And it's not
for any fault of anybody. The transitioning that we get
from the service. It's it does not prepare, it does
not fully prepare us for this next chapter. It does not,
(18:32):
you know, and that's one of the things I recognized
when I got out.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You know, we didn't get introduced to entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
We didn't get introduced to using what we have to
building our own you know, how do we how do
we find our next mission, which is us, We're the
next mission, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
So it's and that's like.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I love that we're out here trying to do the
same thing. We can come together to power you know, women, look,
let me help you, Let us help you, you know,
because we.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Understand this journey. It's not easy.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
We're not prepared. You know, some of us may think
we are. I thought I was as much as I
made the decision, you know, I'm gonna get out today.
I was not fully prepared for the financial transition, the
emotional transitional, the mental, physical transit.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
There's so much and what I got some advice.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
When I first got out, and I took offense to
it because I didn't understand. And it's maybe the delivery
wasn't you know, to where I received it. But I
asked another person that had She was a light colonel
she retired, and I said, look, I just feel like
there's so much more I need to do. She was like,
go sit down somewhere. Just sit yourself down somewhere.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
You know, I didn't receive that very well.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
But now that I have matured, I understand, but I
can deliver that message a little bit a little better.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Context, We do need we do need assistance in that area.
We need models, we need role models. We need to
see people you know doing it. And you know I've
spoken about this. Living unapologetically doesn't mean that you're not
you're not dealing with challenges, you know, like you said,
today was already a mourning for you, but you got
(20:26):
to keep showing up that you've got.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Kep showing up.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Yeah, you know, I took it on literally as tomorrow
is not promised for us. You know, I made it
so through so many different challenges. When I was in
the military, even on my last appointment, I felt like
I wasn't going to come home, Like it was just
scary and there was a lot of uncertainty. And so
(20:51):
now I'm looking at life so much differently, like I
survived through that, actually thrived because most of us, as
women who have high achievers, driven ambitious, we have thrived
in some very challenging environments. Yes, and now like in
your next It's like, okay, so what can I do
(21:14):
because tomorrow is really not promised to me? Because so
how are you living your life? You know? Is it meaningful?
Is it purposeful? Is does it give you a sense
of accomplishment? Do you wake up and you're wanting to
start the day. Even though life adds its up and downs,
life is always living and sometimes people, you know, think, oh,
(21:39):
I can't do because all these things around me does
not look good. And so I'll wait till tomorrow. I'll wait,
you know, and what are we waiting for?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
What are you waiting for?
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You know. So that's kind of the mentality that I have.
And I'm a creative. So that's why I wrote my book,
my very first book. It was a way for me
to decompress all of these experiences that I had in
the military, to help me move through these emotion of
(22:13):
you know, up and down. Like one day I'm crying,
one day I'm like, you know, really happy, and the
other day I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing.
And I needed a way to kind of stabilize myself,
you know, so that you know, writing, doing podcasts, doing
(22:33):
talk shows, doing you know, networking events, speaking engagements, doing workshops.
They are always for me to deal with the transition
because we're always in transition, right, So what can I
rely on, which is a lot of skill sets, knowledge
(22:54):
experiences that we've gone through that other people when we
tell our stories there like what right? What writ it out?
You know, and we just again we take it for
granted because that was our job. Yes, yes, you know,
but this is incredible work that we have done. So
(23:15):
I'm a believer on using a personal brand right, exploiting
it to the end, however that looks like and using
your knowledge and your experience to create a business or
some sort of uh ways or means for you to
(23:36):
look forward to the day because sometimes we don't see
the future, yeah when we're in the uniform. So it is.
It is definitely a tool, and I now help other
women to brand themselves because a lot of times they're like,
I don't know what I don't even know what I like.
You know, I don't even know what I enjoy. And
(23:57):
you know, we have to pull that onion back identy
work before I have an outfit, right that I need
to be confident in because you know, sometimes we just
buy clothes just be buying clothes, personal branding. There's a
visual component to it. That's why I took on the
color pink, because for me, that's where I'm the most confident.
(24:22):
I feel great. It's a connection with another woman. People
sometimes say pink, you can't wear pink in here and
right from where I was in the military. Yes, so
it's on the extreme end of it, but at the
same time, I'm using it as a means to connect
and empower other women to do what they have been
(24:45):
called to do for all their life. What's the dream? Yes, dream,
you know. So we're not starting from scratch, We're starting
from experience.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Right, And I love that because, you know, I really
just feel like with us being in the military, we
are so like sometimes we're so used to that structure,
like we cannot get outside of I struggle with that
even sometimes today. I people like, Uh, you're too rigid,
you're trying to be professional. Just be yourself, you know,
(25:18):
and myself it's easier to be then just trying to
be something that I'm not. So, you know, it's really
empowering when you can really, like you said, figure out
who you are. And that goes back to what we said,
take some time to embrace the transition, figure out the
bits and pieces of it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
You know. The other thing you said.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That I like, I realize that when I get into
a room of high energy people, it's like you just
powered me up.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Like I'm just like the energizer bunny, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
And I also realize that once I leave that environment,
I have to power down.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I have to like, I need space.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I cannot be around anybody to decompress. I need that,
you know. So it's all getting to know who you are,
you know what what fuels you? Like you said, what's
easy for me that I could capitalize on? You know,
what are my skills that I have currently? I have
(26:18):
this experience? What can I do with it now in
this chapter? Yeah, oh, thank you for sharing that. Thanks absolutely.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
So what's one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Common mistake you see when it comes to personal branding
and presence?
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Oh wow, I would say the authenticity part.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Oh so right, that's true.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Oh my goodness, I'm guilty of that.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Yeah. No, well I think that again, we put ourselves
in a box. We're so used to showing up a
certain way and we know that it works, and so
we continue to do it. And I am not a
button up type of girl. I you know, I may
(27:09):
look like you know, I got it to go going on,
but I am on the hot I'm on a hot
mess bus, okay. And I make it known to people like, yeah,
I do like to present and so forth. But I
am not perfect. Like I was in the military, I
would try to make sure that every eye is dotted
(27:32):
and every I would sit on an email for like
thirty minutes before I send it out because I wanted
to make sure I covered all the information. I would
go and speak on stages and you know, they had
what you needed to speak on a piece of paper.
And so I had to step away from that and
(27:54):
realize that even when I'm talking, I may not pronounce
every word right, I may not speaking in the right context.
But that's me. This is Rochelle, Yeah, myself. So when
I meet people online, I don't want to give them
a perception that I'm different.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Than that you're probably you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
So I think that's you know, the perception of who
we were in the uniform can distract us or get
us a little bit like shy and timid and maybe
shaking ourselves because we don't want to show that you
know now in this next that we ain't got it
all together.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
And I'm like, I'm a real person just like everybody else.
I got problems right now, you know, right, But we
have to be able to be vulnerable enough to share.
And you know, I I'm on LinkedIn y'all all every day.
I'm in there just you know, put stuff out there. Yeah,
(29:02):
and I don't even think twice about it if it
comes to my mind that my audience, the people that
are following me need to hear the story I put
it out there.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
And it's not about how many likes you get and
you know how many people following you that it's just
you have a message to share and you're trying to
help someone else who may be stuck in that situation
to let them know, hey, I got you girl, Okay,
I got you, It's okay, all right. So I think
(29:37):
the authenticity of really showing our true a self, yeah,
you know, our best, true a self, not not like.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Just showing up like I'm here'll right, it's the real, real,
the real, real, you know real, So you know that
is that is what I think that people make A
mistaken Andsonal Brand and they hold back too much.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Oh, I'm guilty. I'm guilty.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I will tell you that I am guilty of the overthinking.
I'm guilty of the dutting eyes and crossing t's my
best friend gets on me all the time. He was like,
stop it, stop it. You know, he gets on me
all the time. So you know, I appreciate you saying that,
And this is why you're my inspiration.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
You're my inspiration. I was like, where did this girl
come from? Like I needed to know her from.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Yeah, I'm so serious, so serious.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So what advice would you give those who are trying
to redefine their leadership in this new face?
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Oh yeah, it's it's very complex and it's real crazy
right now, y'all. So you know, one of the things
that I realized, and I'll speak from when the Pande
make hit, because that was a turning point too for
a lot of us that were still in the uniform
and then we were leading through that. And one of
(31:07):
the things that you know, I relied on was my
training from being a medical technician. So I had been
a medical technician throughout my most of my career, and
one of the skill sets or traits set I decided
to use was more empathy. So you know, you saw
that some folks weren't as empathetic during the pandemic and
(31:30):
they just wanted you to get to work, get to work,
put the mask on, you know, and it is what
that is. And so because you know other people weren't
portraying those types of skills, I decided, you know, what
emotional intelligence has to be at the forefront here. How
(31:52):
do we get to a point where we can relate
to a person that is in need, who is thing,
who is hurt, who is in pain? You know, when
George Floyd was killed, that was another turning point where
you like, you know, you're in your in uniform and
(32:13):
you can see the pain in people's eye, you see it.
So using empathy as a ways to help and to
encourage and support. And if you have that, you know
people kind of understand where you're coming from. So when
you do have to say hey we got to do X,
(32:35):
Y and Z, yeah, they know that you probably considered
it and consider them in mind before you made the
decision because others perhaps are not. So leadership is not easy,
and especially in these unprecedented times now we're at a
turning point right now. You know a lot of people
(32:56):
are trying to figure out what they're going to do,
you know, being affected by the federal government. So how
do you lead yourself through that? And you really have
to think about what are your priorities in your life? Yes,
how does that fit into what you're doing right now?
(33:17):
Is there needing adjustments? So yeah, that's why I would
you know, say, like leadership, there's there's a lot that
goes into it, but having a heart, having a heart, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
You know, it's really you know, you touched on this
about the shift right now with you know, and many
veterans are the ones who they get out and they
get right back into those federal jobs, you know, and
you know that's my heart goes out to them for
that because you're now you're in a position where you
have to find the courage to really lead yourself. You
(33:53):
got to figure something out, you know, especially if you
didn't have a plan, you know, because you were just
set on this. But all's not lost, but it's just
but it is really but that's a that's a shock,
that's the that's literally a traumatic event for a lot
of people, for a lot of people, you know, so
(34:13):
I'm glad you you.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Mentioned something about that.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
But it all it's all going to come down to
how do you lead yourself? How do you get the
courage to say, you know what, Okay, I got knocked down.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I do not like.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Where I'm at. It's you know, I gotta do. I
got to figure something out. And we're we're built like
that though, you know, we are built like that. So
it's just an unfamiliar place right now. You didn't expect
to be here, you know, but I'm telling you, come
on the mission.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
We just got to reroute, you know, the rerouting.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
That's the beauty of being in the military for a minute, right,
We get to strategize. We know how to strategize. We know,
like Hoe was all right, y'all know thesees that we
had to come up with. Yes, so we have options,
right and we're picking the best ways to move forward.
(35:11):
And that's all that is when it comes to life
as well. What are your options? What are you doing
now that you can monetize Maybe there's something that you've
been doing, or maybe you've had a side hustle. Yeah,
right now you can maybe go full time, you know,
but using personal branding because I really feel like you
(35:31):
have to have a true sense of yourself and you
have to start doing things on purpose, you know, so
that way you can get yourself out there and not delay.
And then in between and you have a plan.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Yeah I have a brand. Yeah I got out with
no plan, but I quickly developed one.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
That's right, we are our own y's great things, right, Yes,
what is your blue you know what is it? Want
to be?
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, and understand that it's going to keep evolving, right
because you're evolving, You're growing because I've changed my plan
several times, but I'm changing it into the person I'm
created to be, the person that I feel more you know,
aligned with, And that's what we got to understand. Pivoting
(36:22):
is okay, Like you may wake up today, you know what,
I want to be a TV host?
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Go do it?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Go good?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
You realize that, yeah, and you realize two weeks like, nah,
I think I want to go back to school. Go
do that too, and just be okay with that because
you're you're still trying to figure out who am I
in this next phase? What do I really? What really
speaks to me? So thank you, thank you, thank you again.
You're so if someone is listening right now and they
(36:54):
feel stuck like they don't know how to slay in
their careers or business or with themselves. What is the
first step they should take? And you kind of spoke
on this earlier.
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Well, I would kind of like get it to a
very simplified way of thinking this through dreaming, Okay, Like
we are people who manifest. We can manifest things to
happen for ourselves. I was talking to a woman just
(37:29):
a few days ago, and I said, Hey, what is
it that you want to do? She's transitioning out of
her corporate career, So what is exactly that you want
to do? And you know what she said? She says,
I want to be a speaker, but no that I
don't know how to speak or anything like that. I know,
I just don't know. And I said that's probably what
I mean. You said that quickly, but then yeah, tracted
(37:51):
right away like I can't do that. I'm like, that's
your dream, and how do we make the steps to
get there? Okay, So you dabble, Okay, do a little dabbling.
Maybe you attend speaker conferences, maybe you share on a
guest panel, whatnot. When they ask you for your expertise.
(38:12):
You know, these are things that you can start to
do to kind of think about is this the right
direction on what I want to do, and then just
do Yeah, just get yourself out there and figure out
whether or not it's fitting. Again, I took I got
my Motivational Speaker certification because I was like, I think
(38:33):
I want to be a speaker. Let me just take it.
And then, like you said, and then a few weeks later,
I'm like, I think I want to get my master's
degree in strategically. So I went and got my masteries.
This is all after I retired. Yes, then I was like, well,
I want to get my Image Consultant certification because I
really like, you know, dressing up and you know, figuring
(38:55):
out how what colors fit and what and how do
you communicate well? And it's like you are just interested
in these particular areas. Why don't you just see, explore,
explore what it's Yeah, you know, you never know what's
to come. You're probably on the right path, you just said,
(39:19):
you know, like she said, she just kind of shut
herself down. I said, no, no, no, that's it right there,
that's it, you know. So whatever we're scared of we're
not quite sure of. I want us to lean into
it because we got everything that we need. We don't
need per se another certification or another degree. I mean
(39:42):
I did because I was like, Okay, let me see
if I'm interested. You really don't need that. We have
everything in us that we have that we need. We
just need to figure out how to make those next
steps right. Just take a step. Yeah, So that's what
I would say as well. And then joint organizations. You
(40:05):
know that you see people that you want to be around,
and it's not necessarily if you have a business or not.
It's just the fact of community. It's the engagement. You know.
Sometimes we are afraid to put ourselves out there because
we don't have everything together. I had another person that
(40:27):
came to me and said, I don't have a business card.
You know, I don't want to go to this event
because then they're gonna ask for business cards. I said, girl,
all you gotta do is download electronic blink, you know,
and just put your name in an email address. That's
all you need, yes, Okay, and now make somewhere, start somewhere,
(40:52):
you know, so so that way you're not living in regret.
That's the last thing that I want to have for
my life. I do not want to live in regret
saying I could have done something. And especially we're in
a sweet spot. So for your listeners and your audience,
you know, I don't know if they're you know, at
our age between you know, forty and sixty five, which
(41:15):
I think you know a lot of women are still
in this energy where we got it, like let's go, okay,
you lose it to our advantage. Yeah, you see forwards
our advantage when I get seventy or eighty. No, this
queen is not going to be doing all these things. Yes,
So I'm just you know, I'm really taking advantage of
(41:37):
how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about stepping into the
unknown uncertainty because I've been there before. I've been there before.
It's just something, it's just a new way of doing it.
That is it.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yes, definitely, that's important. Just taking the time to explore,
you know. And it all goes back to what you said.
You know, we're afraid of being vuldern, but we're failing
of afraid of failing. We're afraid of looking a certain
type of way. Look, you know, we feel like we
don't belong, all of which I've experienced. But the thing
(42:10):
to overcome that, like you said, you just got to
keep showing up in those spaces because you come a
second time, a third time, somebody else recognizes you. Hey,
you were here the last time. And that's the community
that we seek, right. The military is such such a family,
like it seems like such a family for us. So
when we get out and we don't have the people
(42:31):
that we've connected with, it seems like we're all alone.
We're just in this you know, space, just trying to
figure things out by ourselves.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
But we are not alone.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Like you said, we have to put ourselves out there
as well. Nobody's coming to save us.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
It didn't.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Isn't that what Mail Robins says, that nobody is coming
to save you?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
And she is right.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
You know, you have to go out there, let yourselves
be known, let people experience it's you and you.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Then.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
Yeah, absolutely, we're all unique in our own way and
we have something to bring to the table. We have
a lot to bring to the table.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Actually, yes, I mean you combined both our years, that's
what fifty one and a half.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Absolutely, Yeah, why you don't want this? You don't want this.
Were you ready? No, they're not all right.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
So let's talk about like your mindset and wellness things.
So your book Slay All Day touches on wellness, on
mindset and success. How do these three pillars intersect? And
why is mindset such a critical piece of success?
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Well, I realized again, thirty years of service was all mindset.
It was mindset. I oh, ninety, I would say ninety
eight percent. Yes, what I was doing was mindset. Oh
my god, get through the day, all of this happening. Yeah,
(44:04):
one right. And so when you shift your mindset to
the way that you can see yourself, how you interact,
and the willingness that you have, the determination, the resiliency
of the discipline that we have acquired, you know, that's
(44:25):
a mindset. It's that how can I apply this in
the way that I move differently? Right? So I always
feel like you have to strengthen your mindset first. For me,
it's moving my body. Like I wake up every morning.
I used to be embarrassed to say this, and I
(44:46):
and I don't know why, but I wake up every
day and I work out. It's non negotiable. And not
only that helps me to stay fit and stay healthy,
especially in my age. But it also helps with my mindset,
like I got to get this thing right, Like I
(45:06):
need to make sure I'm at high vibrational energy right,
low vibrational energy with it. That distracts us every single day.
It's trauma and their trauma right, and that leads us
our energy is depleted. I'm like thinking in my mind,
how can I continually move and shift disempowering thoughts that
(45:29):
come up. I'm not good enough, I don't know what
I'm doing out here. This is not for me. Like
that's where I get all of what I have, and
that's how I show up. So a lot of times
people say, man, your energy is on overdrive. I said, yeah,
I mean why not. Why do I have to come
(45:51):
in here looking all like depressed and ran down and
not really showing up like I want to. It doesn't
have to be like it used to. So that's why
it's important that you find ways to ensure that your
mindset is as strong as it possibly can be with
(46:12):
the activities, whatever habits you have. You know, some of
the habits that I had in the military, I do
not have, and the civilians out there it was not
serving me well and like anything that's not serving me
well in this next chapter, I have to let it go.
As as much as it got me to a certain
level of success, I can't do that. I can't sacrifice
(46:35):
my health, my relationships, the ones that are most important
to me. I can't sacrifice that anymore. So that's kind
of how I think now. It's a little bit of reprogramming.
Reprogramming and seeing about how things have been lined up
(46:56):
in shape for you for your life, and being able
to just say, Okay, that's working for me, or that's
not working. I gotta do it differently.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah, no, you touched on something though. It all starts
with you. You have to show up for you first,
because without you, if you cannot do that, you cannot
show up for anybody else. And I don't think a
lot of us realize how important that is. You know,
it is really a pivotal thing. I mean, even if
you if you're reading books listening to successful people, they
(47:31):
show up for themselves first. They have a morning ritual
and you know, and they have an evening ritual. So
this is not just a thing that Rochelle or Renee does.
This is this is an actual way of being, you know,
you really have to embrace that kind of well habit
per se, you know. And we're used to that too,
(47:53):
because we got up for PT. We we got dressful work.
We showed up at the right place, at the right time,
in the right place uniform. So this is not new,
Like you said, it's a reprogramming. We just have to
reprogram this to suit where we are we are now,
So thank you for sharing that. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Well,
(48:14):
in your you've seen the part of transformation firsthand. I
think you you talked about your weight, your weight a
little bit on LinkedIn. You know, I'm reading all your
posts right.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Just hope you know that ic I'm watching you.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
I get posts that you you shared where you said
somebody is always watching where you are.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
That is so true though, so true.
Speaker 4 (48:44):
That was.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
My husband was actually the one that was recording that,
and I was like, but I'm gonna share it because
I think that all these different perspectives of ourselves, the
idivities of the places and the things that we like
to do, I think people should know, like how you
how you live your life. You know, I'm not telling
(49:08):
you to give all the information about the pillow talk
between you and your partner you know what I mean.
But there is a way to communicate who you are
and why you do the things that you do. So
I think that is so important to share the stories,
the right stories. That's why I show I shared the
(49:29):
story about my weight loss journey because people see me
and they're like, oh, you've always been small girl. Girl,
you just over here, you got small clothes, you know,
like you can wear anything. And I'm like, well, let
me just share this story with you. You know, I
used to weigh two hundred pounds before I went into
the military, and I didn't feel confident. I didn't feel
(49:52):
like I was worthy of doing anything because I was
hiding behind you know, stress, and the food was comfort
for me because there's a lot of chaos growing up.
So then when I went into military, I was able
to go and because I lost all this weight. Yeah,
but the true journey is I've been able to maintain
(50:13):
this weight loss for over thirty five years because I
decided that that's what I'm going to do. So sometimes
we're just one decision away. That is so true for
changing and transforming your life. And you know, I look
back at that girl who was sixteen year old, girl
(50:34):
that was not sure of herself. And I look now
at this fifty two year old woman, and I say.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
You know what slaying you know?
Speaker 4 (50:45):
And when we could say that about ourselves, like live ourselves,
you know, we are our own hype person. Yes, you
did that, you did that. Why do you think that
you can't do this over here that you're trying to do?
Like how do we get there?
Speaker 5 (51:04):
You know?
Speaker 4 (51:05):
So it's regaining our confidence, regaining our uh our our
inner being. You know of how power that we have.
We all have it in us. We all have a brand.
So what is that brand going to look like? In
the transformation? And I decided my hair's got to be different,
all right, y'all If you look at some of my
(51:27):
pictures I was, I was a woman jailing the hair back.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
Yeah, So I had to start from here and say, okay,
what do I want my hairstyle to look at? You know,
what clothes do I want to represent? Like what kind
of what kind of personality do I have? It's got
to match this personality it's very few, you know. And
then looking at okay, where where do I spend my
(51:54):
time at? And what who do I spend my time with? Yes,
it's all about obstruction your life in a different way
where you can see yourself and much in a much
different light. So what's the legacy? Okay, and again that's
another question. What is the legacy that you're trying to
leave because a legacy of being in the military is
(52:17):
part of the story, is not the entire story.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, Yeah, it's all about what you're ingesting ingesting in
your ears and your eyes, the food that you take.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
And the people that you're around.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
You really have to be intentional about who you surround yourself,
what you're where, you're at, all of those. I love
your messaging, especially the person on branding, you know, because
you know what's funny when we were talking, you know,
we talked about us going we were both at the
WBI conference and this is you know, this blew my
(52:52):
mind because I didn't know you, but you you saw
me because that's what you do, right with the but
and it you you empowered me that day because I
I am intentional about what I wear, Like for real,
I have to go present somewhere.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
I take my stuff out a week ahead and.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
I like every day I'm like doing something to make
it the perfect outfit. So when you were like, were
you that person? And I was like, oh, I didn't
see you there. But it goes back. Somebody is always watching, right,
Somebody is always watching, which is why you have to
be intentional with who you're being, how you're showing up
(53:36):
in these places, who you surround yourself with, you know,
And that's one of my biggest goals is to surround
myself with like minded people because I want good food,
I want good entry, you know, I want good positive
things around me to elevate me. Sometimes you stay in
situations like we don't have to stay in that place
(53:58):
where somebody's continuously bringing us down or just like you said,
burdening us with their dramas and their traumas.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
You don't have to say there, you can.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Excuse yourself and go get your dinner, go feed yourself
somewhere else.
Speaker 4 (54:12):
Exactly exactly, you know. And I think that people think
it's like, well, we're talking about it like it's so easy,
and I'm not.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
Yeah, thank you for seeing that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (54:22):
I'm not going to be you know that person that says,
oh yeah, just you know, make this decision and get there.
Is a process of understanding, like who you are and
then where are you at and doing things just a
little bit differently. Just I wouldn't say overhauled in one day,
(54:43):
because that's not realistic, that's not sustainable. It's what can
I do, you know, a little bit over time to
kind of change the trajectory of my life where it's
set up. Where I have said, Okay, these are my
bad here is the way that I want to be
(55:05):
taken in. And when people advocate on your behalf, they're
advocating for the right things.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (55:15):
And I did not want my brand in the military
to be the brand per se in the civilian sector,
because then that means I'm staying stuck in where I
was and that was the past. Yes, my past has
(55:35):
you know, it has a a place, and you can
share that for sure. But at the same time, how
I am making my life in this new chapter as
I'm transitioning. It can't be the same old, same old,
because then we get the same result, we get the
(55:57):
same result. So do want a little bit at a
time to see where you're at and going, Okay, I
made a little tweak there, maybe I'll make a little
tweak in this particular area. Yeah, and over time, you're
going to see because it's taken me. I retire in
twenty twenty one, it's taken me at least three years
(56:20):
to really figure out like, yes, like what are we doing?
Like where are we trying to go?
Speaker 2 (56:26):
And the thing we got to remember too, this at
different times for everybody. It may take you three years,
it may take me seven eight years. It may take
another person a year. You know, just understand that our
journeys are not going to be the same. You know,
we just have to take take it and striketh just
(56:47):
you know, trust the process, trust the progress, and just
keep trying to evolve.
Speaker 4 (56:52):
That's right, Yeah, And you know, and give yourselves grace,
you know, because I have I'm that type of woman
as like, man, I didn't get that right, you know,
and I have to sew myself down like like we're
not in that your job. Yeah, I've been already done
that a million times. So like you got to calm down, yeah, right,
(57:15):
you got to give yourself like a little bit more
credit than what you are giving yourself because you are
doing the best that you possibly can or what you
have right now, and it's working. It's you know, it's working.
For you all is not at lost. Look at all
(57:35):
the great things that you have learned about yourself, about
other people. You know. I didn't want to stay in
I just know military people. I wanted to experience the
world at large. You know what did What was I
missing while I was.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
A whole different world too? Like you got to get
out there and experience it. You cannot and wait for
it to.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Come to you. You're gonna have to go and figure
this thing out for real. I mean when I got.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
That realization, I was like, oh, small, yeah, so I
missed out on it, like, you know, so get out,
get out.
Speaker 4 (58:17):
You know, people meet people, some great clothes all these
yesterday and I was dressed because I was coming from
an event. I had all my pink sparkly shoes, you know,
and I've got this pink cold on and I'm in
all these little baskets. They were looking at me, and
(58:40):
I said, it's a great day to do whatever you
want to do in here, all right, Like I'm just
gonna get these breakfast biscuits for my son, and I'm
trying to get up out of here.
Speaker 3 (58:48):
You know.
Speaker 4 (58:49):
It's just like but you know.
Speaker 2 (58:52):
Yeah, yeah, And I know people that opportunity to experience
that other side of us too, because you know, I'm goofy,
but you know, like, if you don't know me personally,
you would really think I'm serious, and I'm not.
Speaker 3 (59:07):
I'm not serious. I can be, but I'm not, you know.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
But but you know, we go out, we meet people
and embrace them and give them an opportunity to embrace us.
Speaker 4 (59:19):
You know.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
Yes, yeah, it's almost we've been talking about.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
This is what I was talking about week ago, on
and on. Okay, this is why I love this. I
love this so much. So last question, last question, So,
beyond the uniform, beyond the titles, and beyond the expectation
of others, who is the most unapologetic version of you?
Speaker 3 (59:48):
And what does she stand for?
Speaker 4 (59:51):
Oh, the most unapologetic version of me? It is really
it's interesting because again my name affection I'm affectionately called
a slave queen. Yeah, so you know, when I show up,
I'm like, I am the slave queen. Okay, how does
(01:00:13):
the queen operate? Right? We move in a different way.
It's like we're showing up high energy, high level energy, right,
and we're looking for people who have the same type
of personality as we are right, so we can ignite
and this, you know, action starts to happen, and so
(01:00:34):
I bring the fire like I'm always thinking, like, I
got through some very hard times, but I don't look
like what I've been through. Yes, look like what I've
been through.
Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
So I'm like, if I am at this point in
my life where I have all this knowledge and experience
and I know that life is hard, but yet and
still I continue to show up with this fire in me,
believe in me. That's how I continue to show up.
What I'm doing here on your show is exactly how
(01:01:09):
I show up when I'm in person. And I don't
want anyone to ever think that, you know, she just
sat on the rocking chair and you know, she just
said it's not her turn, okay, And I look at
everybody else on the sideline doing what they do. No,
(01:01:30):
we have so much, so much to give, so let's
just give, you know, give ourselves to the world and
be the light. There's darkness in this world, you know.
So I'm like, if you have it and you have that, like,
just just come out, all right, just come out you
know what, Yes, this you know, even if you're not
(01:01:55):
like the person that you think that you should you
know that you should be like I know, like some
of us are dreamers and we're wanting to be that.
I'm like just moving it like I yes.
Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
Yes, own it, just own.
Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
It, yes it yeah. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
So, Rachelle, this was again another incredible conversation. You dropped
so many gems today on leadership, on mindset, on personal branding,
and just like you said, just unapologetically owning your power.
So I hope from today's episode that our listeners walk
(01:02:34):
away with, you know, just feeling inspired, motivated, and ready
to slay in their own lives. But before we get off, I, Rachelle,
I would like you to tell people how they can
connect with you, how they can learn more from you,
how they can get their hands on your book, just
how they can find you.
Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
Okay, y'all. So every day a'mo on LinkedIn and there's
a reason why I'm on LinkedIn, Okay, so it's on purpose,
so you can find me there. I'm again post every day.
I have my website that I created on my own,
so it's not perfect, and then it's not button up
because it is exactly what I created it to be.
(01:03:17):
So it's www dot slay s l A y t
O two success dot com so you can check out,
you know, all the things I got videos. I have
a YouTube channel, so it's called Slay to Success, so
you can binge watch a bunch of videos on there.
I also on Facebook. I'm a little bit on Instagram,
(01:03:41):
but I don't, you know, mess around too much on Instagram.
But you can find me at at the Slave Boss Lady,
so if you want to check me out there, and
then all of my books are on Amazon, so just
put my name in there, Rochelle Hemingway, and you will
see the four books that come up. And one of
(01:04:02):
them is specifically for women over forty because I feel
like at that age, society tells us to sit in
and sit down and it's not your turn. So I
talk about personal branding strategies that we can use to
leverage in our transition or in our next whatever that is.
So I just thank you Renee for having me. I
just love, love love this opportunity.
Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
Yes my day, Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
So to my audience, well, I hope you take away.
Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
You got some really good takeaways from today's episode, and
I want to encourage you to take action, whether it's
refining your personal brand, shifting your mindset, which is a
big one.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Or stepping into that person you were meant to be.
Just slay. We're in every aspect of your life, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Rachelle, again, thank you for sharing your brilliance and your.
Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
Slave queenness with us.
Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (01:05:05):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
To all my unapologetic warriors out there, keep leading, keep evolving,
and most importantly, keep slaying. Remember we're here live every
Friday at eleven pm, I mean am, do not log
on an eleven pm eleven am Eastern. So if you
(01:05:29):
enjoy today's episode, please like, share, and subscribe for more
inspiring stories and conversations. Until the next time, stay bold,
stay empowered, and keep living unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
This has been living unapologetically beyond the Uniform with your host,
Renee Jones Hutson. We hope you found inspiration and valuable
insights in today's episodiso. Remember your journey of redefining, rediscovering,
and reaffirming your life post military is unique and powerful.
Stay connected with us for more stories, advice and support.
(01:06:13):
Until next time, Stay strong and stay empowered. Listen Friday's
eleven am Eastern on The Bold Brave TV network,
Are you a transitioning military or veteran woman looking for support, guidance,
and inspiration. You've come to the right place. Welcome to
living unapologetically beyond the Uniform with your host, Renee Jones Hudson.
Renee brings powerful stories, practical advice, and expert insights to
help you redefine, rediscover, and reaffirm your life after military service,
(00:46):
whether navigating a career change, seeking personal growth, or focusing
on your well being. We are here to empower you
every step of the way. So welcome the host of
living unapologetically Beyond the Uniform, Renee Jones Hudson. Let's embark
on this journey together.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Welcome back to another empowering episode of living unapologetically beyond
the uniform. Today we have a powerhouse in the building.
She is the epitome of leadership, of resilience, and of transformation.
(01:34):
She is none other than Rochelle Slay, Queen Hemingway, and y'all,
she's not just a leader, she is a movement. She
is an Air Force veteran of thirty years who has
a wealth of knowledge and experience in leadership and public speaking.
(01:55):
And that lets you know she knows exactly what it
takes to commit and presence, to influence change and to
redefine success. And that's all of what we're going to
dive into today. But wait, there's more. She is also
the CEO and founder of Slay to Success and this
(02:17):
slate queen is on a mission to help organizations and
individuals with elevating their personal brand, with their leadership skills,
with transforming their mindset, and with strengthening their overall wellness.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
There's more.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
She's also a transformationist, speaker, an image consultant, and the
author of three books, Slay to Success, Own Your Power,
and Elevate Your Image, and also a contributing author to
I had to write this one down Base Go Boom
Volume one, Bouncing Back. So Rochelle and I met over
(03:00):
LinkedIn and we continued to conversation offline and it was
just a whole vibe and that's the vibe I want
you all to experience today. So if you're ready to
slay your leadership, own your power, and elevate your life,
then buckle up because today's episode is going to be
(03:20):
a good one. So Rachelle, welcome to the show, and
thank you again for being here.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Oh my goodness. I am so happy to be here.
This is going to be so exciting, y'all. I just
cannot wait to be here this night. Thank you so much.
Of course, of.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Course, of course, so before we dive in, just tell
our listeners a little bit more about who you are
and how you started in a little bit of your wife.
We're gonna get into it, but just give them a
snippet right now.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Absolutely, I'm so hello everyone. My name is Rochelle Slay
or Slay Queen Hemingway. I am originally from a small
town called Kokomo, Indiana, and one day I found myself
in the Air Force recruiting office and I enlisted into
the Air Force in nineteen ninety one and I retired
(04:19):
after seven thirty years in twenty twenty one. And so
when I retired, I was, like a lot of people
that I know, was struggling trying to figure out what
I was going to do in this next chapter. And
I decided to write a book about my experience in
the military. And it was the start that was what
(04:42):
all started with what I'm doing right now, and I'm
now the CEO and founder of Slay Slay to Success.
So that's a little bit about the journey, even though
there's a lot that's in there, but you taste of
what I've been able to do.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
You Yeah, so you know what I got from what
you said, you know, And this is something that I
think you and I talked about. But it's permission. You know,
first you realized you had to give yourself permission.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And it's like.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
You're giving You're just out here telling people, Hey, you
got permission.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Can you talk then about that?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Because you know how we feel about permission in the military, right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Like okay, So for anybody who's ever been in a
conformed environment like the military setting, people tell you what
to do all the time. Do people tell you, hey,
these are the rules, it's the structure. Here are the policies,
Air Force instructions, you know, so you must follow these things.
And I found myself really at points where I'm thinking,
(05:49):
like why am.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I doing this?
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Like what is this policy? And why was it created?
Especially like the last five to seven years of my career.
So I started to move differently in my last five
to seven years, and because I had been in for
a while, so I started to realize that there was
a lot of things within me that I wanted to
(06:12):
express outwardly, but I really couldn't do it like I
wanted to. I was just on the fence about what
it would look like. And when I just decided, you
know what, I'm just going to lay it out there,
all right, I'm going to adopt the word slay. That
is my word. It came from a tragic loss that
(06:35):
I had one of my airmen who lost his battle
with depression. His favorite word was slay and he used
to tell me all the time, chief, and chief was
my title in the military. You slaying it. So I
used his word after his loss to keep his memory alive.
But I didn't know exactly what I would do with it.
So before I went to my last role, which was
(06:58):
one of the roles, I was one of the three
people making all the decisions on the installation about whatever
we were doing in the mission, and I just started
to use the word. I just said, you know what,
I'm going to use the word slay on emails. I'm
going to use it as I'm talking. And people started
to realize that it was just a part of me,
(07:20):
like this is a piece that they had never seen before.
And so I just gave my permission to say, you
know what, use the word as a way to inspire
and motivate others. I broke it out as well, so
for your audience, you know, and I know that sometimes
people are like, I don't even know what this word means,
(07:41):
but it means to kill it, to dominate it, and
to nail it, to be on point, tomass great right,
to impress greatly, to dream big and work hard until
you own it. And so I had been doing that
all throughout my career, So why couldn't I do that
here in my civilian life, you know what I mean?
So I carried that and then it's the philosophies that
(08:04):
really resonated true to me while it was in the
uniform that I still carry on now. And so the
letter is also an acronym, so letter you do. Yes, yes,
we turn everything into acronym. And so I mean, stay ready,
(08:25):
to be ready, lead out loud, a sense of community,
a sense of family, and you are built to last.
So that's what we're doing now.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
You know what I liked about what you said, which
I can kind of relate to because I did twenty
one and a half years. But I remember that same
feeling where I'm like, Okay, why do I have to
do this again? Like I started questioning things a lot more,
and like you said, you shifted, you know, But.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
What I loved is you started embodying.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
You started not you know, making slave, you started becoming slave. Right, So,
and that's what you're talking about, creating your own personal brand.
That's what it's all about, creating your brand. So now
when I look up, I know Slay is the Slave
Queen is Rochelle right, yes, And it's not hard to miss.
(09:24):
It is not hard to miss because you have to
pick going, which I love. Right, So you're we can
see you from a from a mody way, even if
we don't know who your name, We're like, oh, that's
the Slave Queen.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And that's kind of what you're you're saying, give yourself
permission to be who you want to be.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, So I don't know what I did.
Go ahead, no, no, no, go ahead. So you know,
the personal branding is one of the things that I
didn't realize that I was doing while it was in uniform.
It wasn't until after I retired and someone said, hey,
your branding is on point, Like you got this all down,
(10:08):
like you are the brand, Like how does that happen?
And I said, well, because I started to listen in
onto who I am and trust myself and believe myself
that this is the path that I should go into,
and not only creating the slave as a means it's
a vehicle, it's a tool, you know, so that way
(10:30):
I can go into speaking engagements, consulting, you know. And
I've gotten to a place in my business where I've
gotten faster, you know, like really seeing the growth over
a short period of time because I decided to take
this on like completely, and it's on purpose. Like everything
(10:53):
that I'm doing is on purpose, and I am attracting
the right opportunities, the right people like yourself, you know,
people that are in alignment because I was like, these
are my values, these are this is my vision, this
is what I want to do for the remainder of
my life. So that isn't you know for me the
(11:15):
transformation part that really like blows my mind over the
past few years. I'm like, wow, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's it's something to be said, because you know how
you said attracting the right people.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
I was on LinkedIn. I really don't know how I.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Came how you came up, just appeared. Maybe I manifested you,
but I looked at I might have read maybe three.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
Lines of what you. I was like, ooh, I got
to know her, like I really.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So I sent you a message and I was like,
I hope this lady responded me.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
But you responded right away.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
And you know what I loved for the first the
first time we spoke, I think we spoke for almost
two hours, if not over that we haven't lived force
ourselves off off the call. But that is so important though,
and it's speaks you gotta attract, you know what you want,
and that that's also how are you showing up in life,
(12:15):
because that's the type of people and things that you're
gonna attract. And that's very important, which leads me to
my next point, because you know, many of us we
get out of the military, and you and I talked
about this, and you know, we talked about we used
to get paid to do pets right, to be fit right,
all this stuff that we take for granted now, and
(12:37):
it's you know, for many of us, we just kind of,
you know, we just kind of pull back from the
things that we learned in the military.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
We kind of let ourselves go.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
And it's not not a fault, you know. It's sometimes
it's because we don't know how to translate all of
what we've done, who we are, you know, and figure
out Okay, who on mind this next chapter? You started
doing that before you got out. You started you know,
craft and that before you got out. So I want
(13:08):
you to I want you to explain to our audience
why personal branding is important and because you spoke to
it as to it getting you into different places faster,
so you know, just kind of educate us on why
that is such an important piece.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
That's such a good, good question. So I realized when
I retired that there was some sort of a transition
that I really need to go through the process. I
really need to recognize what was going on around me.
(13:49):
And I moved. We moved from South Dakota here to
Maryland without knowing anybody, and I started to think about
what is it that I really like to do, Like
what did I master in the military that I could
do in my sleep? Okay, And I just started to
(14:10):
move that way. So I love to speak, So I
got my Motivational Speaker certification, and I love to get
dressed up I loved the dressing in Appearance instruction that
we had in the military because it was like all
the details.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Yes, it's like, yes.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
I use that in this civilian sector, civilian life, and
you talk about health and wellness? How can I use
PT if you will differently? And what does that all
look like? So I pretty much redesign my life as
(14:52):
to what I wanted to be. And so I said, Okay,
you waking up. You're not waking up at four o'clock
in the morning. Okay, you used to do that and
working out because you couldn't get it in during the day.
You're going to ease and flow into your day. What
time is it that you want to wake up and
start your day? That to me is seven seven thirty. Okay,
(15:13):
I have we have a son. I want to see
him get on the bus because I didn't get a
chance to do that a lot when I was in uniform. Okay,
after he gets on the bus, I work out, you know,
and then I can start doing some business networking. I
want to I want to be able to introduce myself.
How am I going to introduce myself now? It allowed
(15:34):
me to really think about what it is that I
want to communicate what stories I wanted to share, how
I could serve others in this next And that's kind
of how I just did. I just started to say
I wanted to be an influencer, and that's where I'm
(15:57):
at right now. It's like, how do you become an
influencer with somebody that was in the military for a
very long time. Yes, I'm fifty two, I have a
short window lane slaying. Okay, I need a there's a
short window of opportunity. How can I maximize that?
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Right?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
So it's like restructuring, redesigning, reimaging, reinventing yourself after service,
but getting there to a point where you can see
yourself like from head to toe, like what is it
what you want to do? And that's like how I've
(16:41):
done what I you know, like this journey, this path
that I'm going on into and again, I am so
grateful that I get to in this next you know
what I mean. It's not like I have to do anything.
I get to wake up, build a business to do
things that are so enlightening and enriching, you know, and purposeful.
(17:07):
So yeah, that's just you know, I think it's we
make things too hard for ourselves. Yes, we need get
into what we really feel that is pulling us. What
is and what you want to do?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, you know, I I love what you said about,
you know, embracing the transition.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
I don't think many of us do that very well.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Me included, you know well what I but you know,
and I'm really grateful to God because He's put people
in my path unbeknownst to me who kind of showed
me or you know who I could look at at
least and say, Okay, maybe this is what I should
be doing. But you know, one of the things which
(17:50):
is what pulled me to you because you talk about
all the reads to coming you know, coming back. You know,
my mission as well is to help women and redefine,
rediscover and recreate themselves post military, which is essentially your
your messaging, right, And that's why I wanted to really
(18:11):
align myself with you, because as you spoke about it,
we do not embrace that transition properly. And it's not
for any fault of anybody. The transitioning that we get
from the service. It's it does not prepare, it does
not fully prepare us for this next chapter. It does not,
(18:32):
you know, and that's one of the things I recognized
when I got out.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You know, we didn't get introduced to entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
We didn't get introduced to using what we have to
building our own you know, how do we how do
we find our next mission, which is us, We're the
next mission, you know.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
So it's and that's like.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
I love that we're out here trying to do the
same thing. We can come together to power you know, women, look,
let me help you, Let us help you, you know,
because we.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Understand this journey. It's not easy.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
We're not prepared. You know, some of us may think
we are. I thought I was as much as I
made the decision, you know, I'm gonna get out today.
I was not fully prepared for the financial transition, the
emotional transitional, the mental, physical transit.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
There's so much and what I got some advice.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
When I first got out, and I took offense to
it because I didn't understand. And it's maybe the delivery
wasn't you know, to where I received it. But I
asked another person that had She was a light colonel
she retired, and I said, look, I just feel like
there's so much more I need to do. She was like,
go sit down somewhere. Just sit yourself down somewhere.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
You know, I didn't receive that very well.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
But now that I have matured, I understand, but I
can deliver that message a little bit a little better.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Context, We do need we do need assistance in that area.
We need models, we need role models. We need to
see people you know doing it. And you know I've
spoken about this. Living unapologetically doesn't mean that you're not
you're not dealing with challenges, you know, like you said,
today was already a mourning for you, but you got
(20:26):
to keep showing up that you've got.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Kep showing up.
Speaker 4 (20:29):
Yeah, you know, I took it on literally as tomorrow
is not promised for us. You know, I made it
so through so many different challenges. When I was in
the military, even on my last appointment, I felt like
I wasn't going to come home, Like it was just
scary and there was a lot of uncertainty. And so
(20:51):
now I'm looking at life so much differently, like I
survived through that, actually thrived because most of us, as
women who have high achievers, driven ambitious, we have thrived
in some very challenging environments. Yes, and now like in
your next It's like, okay, so what can I do
(21:14):
because tomorrow is really not promised to me? Because so
how are you living your life? You know? Is it meaningful?
Is it purposeful? Is does it give you a sense
of accomplishment? Do you wake up and you're wanting to
start the day. Even though life adds its up and downs,
life is always living and sometimes people, you know, think, oh,
(21:39):
I can't do because all these things around me does
not look good. And so I'll wait till tomorrow. I'll wait,
you know, and what are we waiting for?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
What are you waiting for?
Speaker 4 (21:51):
You know. So that's kind of the mentality that I have.
And I'm a creative. So that's why I wrote my book,
my very first book. It was a way for me
to decompress all of these experiences that I had in
the military, to help me move through these emotion of
(22:13):
you know, up and down. Like one day I'm crying,
one day I'm like, you know, really happy, and the
other day I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing.
And I needed a way to kind of stabilize myself,
you know, so that you know, writing, doing podcasts, doing
(22:33):
talk shows, doing you know, networking events, speaking engagements, doing workshops.
They are always for me to deal with the transition
because we're always in transition, right, So what can I
rely on, which is a lot of skill sets, knowledge
(22:54):
experiences that we've gone through that other people when we
tell our stories there like what right? What writ it out?
You know, and we just again we take it for
granted because that was our job. Yes, yes, you know,
but this is incredible work that we have done. So
(23:15):
I'm a believer on using a personal brand right, exploiting
it to the end, however that looks like and using
your knowledge and your experience to create a business or
some sort of uh ways or means for you to
(23:36):
look forward to the day because sometimes we don't see
the future, yeah when we're in the uniform. So it is.
It is definitely a tool, and I now help other
women to brand themselves because a lot of times they're like,
I don't know what I don't even know what I like.
You know, I don't even know what I enjoy. And
(23:57):
you know, we have to pull that onion back identy
work before I have an outfit, right that I need
to be confident in because you know, sometimes we just
buy clothes just be buying clothes, personal branding. There's a
visual component to it. That's why I took on the
color pink, because for me, that's where I'm the most confident.
(24:22):
I feel great. It's a connection with another woman. People
sometimes say pink, you can't wear pink in here and
right from where I was in the military. Yes, so
it's on the extreme end of it, but at the
same time, I'm using it as a means to connect
and empower other women to do what they have been
(24:45):
called to do for all their life. What's the dream? Yes, dream,
you know. So we're not starting from scratch, We're starting
from experience.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Right, And I love that because, you know, I really
just feel like with us being in the military, we
are so like sometimes we're so used to that structure,
like we cannot get outside of I struggle with that
even sometimes today. I people like, Uh, you're too rigid,
you're trying to be professional. Just be yourself, you know,
(25:18):
and myself it's easier to be then just trying to
be something that I'm not. So, you know, it's really
empowering when you can really, like you said, figure out
who you are. And that goes back to what we said,
take some time to embrace the transition, figure out the
bits and pieces of it.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
You know. The other thing you said.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That I like, I realize that when I get into
a room of high energy people, it's like you just
powered me up.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Like I'm just like the energizer bunny, you know.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
And I also realize that once I leave that environment,
I have to power down.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I have to like, I need space.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I cannot be around anybody to decompress. I need that,
you know. So it's all getting to know who you are,
you know what what fuels you? Like you said, what's
easy for me that I could capitalize on? You know,
what are my skills that I have currently? I have
(26:18):
this experience? What can I do with it now in
this chapter? Yeah, oh, thank you for sharing that. Thanks absolutely.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
So what's one.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Common mistake you see when it comes to personal branding
and presence?
Speaker 4 (26:34):
Oh wow, I would say the authenticity part.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Oh so right, that's true.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
Oh my goodness, I'm guilty of that.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
Yeah. No, well I think that again, we put ourselves
in a box. We're so used to showing up a
certain way and we know that it works, and so
we continue to do it. And I am not a
button up type of girl. I you know, I may
(27:09):
look like you know, I got it to go going on,
but I am on the hot I'm on a hot
mess bus, okay. And I make it known to people like, yeah,
I do like to present and so forth. But I
am not perfect. Like I was in the military, I
would try to make sure that every eye is dotted
(27:32):
and every I would sit on an email for like
thirty minutes before I send it out because I wanted
to make sure I covered all the information. I would
go and speak on stages and you know, they had
what you needed to speak on a piece of paper.
And so I had to step away from that and
(27:54):
realize that even when I'm talking, I may not pronounce
every word right, I may not speaking in the right context.
But that's me. This is Rochelle, Yeah, myself. So when
I meet people online, I don't want to give them
a perception that I'm different.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Than that you're probably you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
So I think that's you know, the perception of who
we were in the uniform can distract us or get
us a little bit like shy and timid and maybe
shaking ourselves because we don't want to show that you
know now in this next that we ain't got it
all together.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
And I'm like, I'm a real person just like everybody else.
I got problems right now, you know, right, But we
have to be able to be vulnerable enough to share.
And you know, I I'm on LinkedIn y'all all every day.
I'm in there just you know, put stuff out there. Yeah,
(29:02):
and I don't even think twice about it if it
comes to my mind that my audience, the people that
are following me need to hear the story I put
it out there.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
And it's not about how many likes you get and
you know how many people following you that it's just
you have a message to share and you're trying to
help someone else who may be stuck in that situation
to let them know, hey, I got you girl, Okay,
I got you, It's okay, all right. So I think
(29:37):
the authenticity of really showing our true a self, yeah,
you know, our best, true a self, not not like.
Speaker 5 (29:46):
Just showing up like I'm here'll right, it's the real, real,
the real, real, you know real, So you know that
is that is what I think that people make A
mistaken Andsonal Brand and they hold back too much.
Speaker 4 (30:02):
You know.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Oh, I'm guilty. I'm guilty.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I will tell you that I am guilty of the overthinking.
I'm guilty of the dutting eyes and crossing t's my
best friend gets on me all the time. He was like,
stop it, stop it. You know, he gets on me
all the time. So you know, I appreciate you saying that,
And this is why you're my inspiration.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
You're my inspiration. I was like, where did this girl
come from? Like I needed to know her from.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Yeah, I'm so serious, so serious.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
So what advice would you give those who are trying
to redefine their leadership in this new face?
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Oh yeah, it's it's very complex and it's real crazy
right now, y'all. So you know, one of the things
that I realized, and I'll speak from when the Pande
make hit, because that was a turning point too for
a lot of us that were still in the uniform
and then we were leading through that. And one of
(31:07):
the things that you know, I relied on was my
training from being a medical technician. So I had been
a medical technician throughout my most of my career, and
one of the skill sets or traits set I decided
to use was more empathy. So you know, you saw
that some folks weren't as empathetic during the pandemic and
(31:30):
they just wanted you to get to work, get to work,
put the mask on, you know, and it is what
that is. And so because you know other people weren't
portraying those types of skills, I decided, you know, what
emotional intelligence has to be at the forefront here. How
(31:52):
do we get to a point where we can relate
to a person that is in need, who is thing,
who is hurt, who is in pain? You know, when
George Floyd was killed, that was another turning point where
you like, you know, you're in your in uniform and
(32:13):
you can see the pain in people's eye, you see it.
So using empathy as a ways to help and to
encourage and support. And if you have that, you know
people kind of understand where you're coming from. So when
you do have to say hey we got to do X,
(32:35):
Y and Z, yeah, they know that you probably considered
it and consider them in mind before you made the
decision because others perhaps are not. So leadership is not easy,
and especially in these unprecedented times now we're at a
turning point right now. You know a lot of people
(32:56):
are trying to figure out what they're going to do,
you know, being affected by the federal government. So how
do you lead yourself through that? And you really have
to think about what are your priorities in your life? Yes,
how does that fit into what you're doing right now?
(33:17):
Is there needing adjustments? So yeah, that's why I would
you know, say, like leadership, there's there's a lot that
goes into it, but having a heart, having a heart, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
You know, it's really you know, you touched on this
about the shift right now with you know, and many
veterans are the ones who they get out and they
get right back into those federal jobs, you know, and
you know that's my heart goes out to them for
that because you're now you're in a position where you
have to find the courage to really lead yourself. You
(33:53):
got to figure something out, you know, especially if you
didn't have a plan, you know, because you were just
set on this. But all's not lost, but it's just
but it is really but that's a that's a shock,
that's the that's literally a traumatic event for a lot
of people, for a lot of people, you know, so
(34:13):
I'm glad you you.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Mentioned something about that.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
But it all it's all going to come down to
how do you lead yourself? How do you get the
courage to say, you know what, Okay, I got knocked down.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
I do not like.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Where I'm at. It's you know, I gotta do. I
got to figure something out. And we're we're built like
that though, you know, we are built like that. So
it's just an unfamiliar place right now. You didn't expect
to be here, you know, but I'm telling you, come
on the mission.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
We just got to reroute, you know, the rerouting.
Speaker 4 (34:50):
That's the beauty of being in the military for a minute, right,
We get to strategize. We know how to strategize. We know,
like Hoe was all right, y'all know thesees that we
had to come up with. Yes, so we have options,
right and we're picking the best ways to move forward.
(35:11):
And that's all that is when it comes to life
as well. What are your options? What are you doing
now that you can monetize Maybe there's something that you've
been doing, or maybe you've had a side hustle. Yeah,
right now you can maybe go full time, you know,
but using personal branding because I really feel like you
(35:31):
have to have a true sense of yourself and you
have to start doing things on purpose, you know, so
that way you can get yourself out there and not delay.
And then in between and you have a plan.
Speaker 3 (35:47):
Yeah I have a brand. Yeah I got out with
no plan, but I quickly developed one.
Speaker 4 (35:52):
That's right, we are our own y's great things, right, Yes,
what is your blue you know what is it? Want
to be?
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, and understand that it's going to keep evolving, right
because you're evolving, You're growing because I've changed my plan
several times, but I'm changing it into the person I'm
created to be, the person that I feel more you know,
aligned with, And that's what we got to understand. Pivoting
(36:22):
is okay, Like you may wake up today, you know what,
I want to be a TV host?
Speaker 3 (36:27):
Go do it?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Go good?
Speaker 2 (36:30):
You realize that, yeah, and you realize two weeks like, nah,
I think I want to go back to school. Go
do that too, and just be okay with that because
you're you're still trying to figure out who am I
in this next phase? What do I really? What really
speaks to me? So thank you, thank you, thank you again.
You're so if someone is listening right now and they
(36:54):
feel stuck like they don't know how to slay in
their careers or business or with themselves. What is the
first step they should take? And you kind of spoke
on this earlier.
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Well, I would kind of like get it to a
very simplified way of thinking this through dreaming, Okay, Like
we are people who manifest. We can manifest things to
happen for ourselves. I was talking to a woman just
(37:29):
a few days ago, and I said, Hey, what is
it that you want to do? She's transitioning out of
her corporate career, So what is exactly that you want
to do? And you know what she said? She says,
I want to be a speaker, but no that I
don't know how to speak or anything like that. I know,
I just don't know. And I said that's probably what
I mean. You said that quickly, but then yeah, tracted
(37:51):
right away like I can't do that. I'm like, that's
your dream, and how do we make the steps to
get there? Okay, So you dabble, Okay, do a little dabbling.
Maybe you attend speaker conferences, maybe you share on a
guest panel, whatnot. When they ask you for your expertise.
(38:12):
You know, these are things that you can start to
do to kind of think about is this the right
direction on what I want to do, and then just
do Yeah, just get yourself out there and figure out
whether or not it's fitting. Again, I took I got
my Motivational Speaker certification because I was like, I think
(38:33):
I want to be a speaker. Let me just take it.
And then, like you said, and then a few weeks later,
I'm like, I think I want to get my master's
degree in strategically. So I went and got my masteries.
This is all after I retired. Yes, then I was like, well,
I want to get my Image Consultant certification because I
really like, you know, dressing up and you know, figuring
(38:55):
out how what colors fit and what and how do
you communicate well? And it's like you are just interested
in these particular areas. Why don't you just see, explore,
explore what it's Yeah, you know, you never know what's
to come. You're probably on the right path, you just said,
(39:19):
you know, like she said, she just kind of shut
herself down. I said, no, no, no, that's it right there,
that's it, you know. So whatever we're scared of we're
not quite sure of. I want us to lean into
it because we got everything that we need. We don't
need per se another certification or another degree. I mean
(39:42):
I did because I was like, Okay, let me see
if I'm interested. You really don't need that. We have
everything in us that we have that we need. We
just need to figure out how to make those next
steps right. Just take a step. Yeah, So that's what
I would say as well. And then joint organizations. You
(40:05):
know that you see people that you want to be around,
and it's not necessarily if you have a business or not.
It's just the fact of community. It's the engagement. You know.
Sometimes we are afraid to put ourselves out there because
we don't have everything together. I had another person that
(40:27):
came to me and said, I don't have a business card.
You know, I don't want to go to this event
because then they're gonna ask for business cards. I said, girl,
all you gotta do is download electronic blink, you know,
and just put your name in an email address. That's
all you need, yes, Okay, and now make somewhere, start somewhere,
(40:52):
you know, so so that way you're not living in regret.
That's the last thing that I want to have for
my life. I do not want to live in regret
saying I could have done something. And especially we're in
a sweet spot. So for your listeners and your audience,
you know, I don't know if they're you know, at
our age between you know, forty and sixty five, which
(41:15):
I think you know a lot of women are still
in this energy where we got it, like let's go, okay,
you lose it to our advantage. Yeah, you see forwards
our advantage when I get seventy or eighty. No, this
queen is not going to be doing all these things. Yes,
So I'm just you know, I'm really taking advantage of
(41:37):
how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about stepping into the
unknown uncertainty because I've been there before. I've been there before.
It's just something, it's just a new way of doing it.
That is it.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yes, definitely, that's important. Just taking the time to explore,
you know. And it all goes back to what you said.
You know, we're afraid of being vuldern, but we're failing
of afraid of failing. We're afraid of looking a certain
type of way. Look, you know, we feel like we
don't belong, all of which I've experienced. But the thing
(42:10):
to overcome that, like you said, you just got to
keep showing up in those spaces because you come a
second time, a third time, somebody else recognizes you. Hey,
you were here the last time. And that's the community
that we seek, right. The military is such such a family,
like it seems like such a family for us. So
when we get out and we don't have the people
(42:31):
that we've connected with, it seems like we're all alone.
We're just in this you know, space, just trying to
figure things out by ourselves.
Speaker 3 (42:40):
But we are not alone.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Like you said, we have to put ourselves out there
as well. Nobody's coming to save us.
Speaker 3 (42:46):
It didn't.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Isn't that what Mail Robins says, that nobody is coming
to save you?
Speaker 3 (42:52):
And she is right.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
You know, you have to go out there, let yourselves
be known, let people experience it's you and you.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Then.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
Yeah, absolutely, we're all unique in our own way and
we have something to bring to the table. We have
a lot to bring to the table.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Actually, yes, I mean you combined both our years, that's
what fifty one and a half.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Absolutely, Yeah, why you don't want this? You don't want this.
Were you ready? No, they're not all right.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
So let's talk about like your mindset and wellness things.
So your book Slay All Day touches on wellness, on
mindset and success. How do these three pillars intersect? And
why is mindset such a critical piece of success?
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Well, I realized again, thirty years of service was all mindset.
It was mindset. I oh, ninety, I would say ninety
eight percent. Yes, what I was doing was mindset. Oh
my god, get through the day, all of this happening. Yeah,
(44:04):
one right. And so when you shift your mindset to
the way that you can see yourself, how you interact,
and the willingness that you have, the determination, the resiliency
of the discipline that we have acquired, you know, that's
(44:25):
a mindset. It's that how can I apply this in
the way that I move differently? Right? So I always
feel like you have to strengthen your mindset first. For me,
it's moving my body. Like I wake up every morning.
I used to be embarrassed to say this, and I
(44:46):
and I don't know why, but I wake up every
day and I work out. It's non negotiable. And not
only that helps me to stay fit and stay healthy,
especially in my age. But it also helps with my mindset,
like I got to get this thing right, Like I
(45:06):
need to make sure I'm at high vibrational energy right,
low vibrational energy with it. That distracts us every single day.
It's trauma and their trauma right, and that leads us
our energy is depleted. I'm like thinking in my mind,
how can I continually move and shift disempowering thoughts that
(45:29):
come up. I'm not good enough, I don't know what
I'm doing out here. This is not for me. Like
that's where I get all of what I have, and
that's how I show up. So a lot of times
people say, man, your energy is on overdrive. I said, yeah,
I mean why not. Why do I have to come
(45:51):
in here looking all like depressed and ran down and
not really showing up like I want to. It doesn't
have to be like it used to. So that's why
it's important that you find ways to ensure that your
mindset is as strong as it possibly can be with
(46:12):
the activities, whatever habits you have. You know, some of
the habits that I had in the military, I do
not have, and the civilians out there it was not
serving me well and like anything that's not serving me
well in this next chapter, I have to let it go.
As as much as it got me to a certain
level of success, I can't do that. I can't sacrifice
(46:35):
my health, my relationships, the ones that are most important
to me. I can't sacrifice that anymore. So that's kind
of how I think now. It's a little bit of reprogramming.
Reprogramming and seeing about how things have been lined up
(46:56):
in shape for you for your life, and being able
to just say, Okay, that's working for me, or that's
not working. I gotta do it differently.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah, no, you touched on something though. It all starts
with you. You have to show up for you first,
because without you, if you cannot do that, you cannot
show up for anybody else. And I don't think a
lot of us realize how important that is. You know,
it is really a pivotal thing. I mean, even if
you if you're reading books listening to successful people, they
(47:31):
show up for themselves first. They have a morning ritual
and you know, and they have an evening ritual. So
this is not just a thing that Rochelle or Renee does.
This is this is an actual way of being, you know,
you really have to embrace that kind of well habit
per se, you know. And we're used to that too,
(47:53):
because we got up for PT. We we got dressful work.
We showed up at the right place, at the right time,
in the right place uniform. So this is not new,
Like you said, it's a reprogramming. We just have to
reprogram this to suit where we are we are now,
So thank you for sharing that. Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Well,
(48:14):
in your you've seen the part of transformation firsthand. I
think you you talked about your weight, your weight a
little bit on LinkedIn. You know, I'm reading all your
posts right.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Just hope you know that ic I'm watching you.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
I get posts that you you shared where you said
somebody is always watching where you are.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
That is so true though, so true.
Speaker 4 (48:44):
That was.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
My husband was actually the one that was recording that,
and I was like, but I'm gonna share it because
I think that all these different perspectives of ourselves, the
idivities of the places and the things that we like
to do, I think people should know, like how you
how you live your life. You know, I'm not telling
(49:08):
you to give all the information about the pillow talk
between you and your partner you know what I mean.
But there is a way to communicate who you are
and why you do the things that you do. So
I think that is so important to share the stories,
the right stories. That's why I show I shared the
(49:29):
story about my weight loss journey because people see me
and they're like, oh, you've always been small girl. Girl,
you just over here, you got small clothes, you know,
like you can wear anything. And I'm like, well, let
me just share this story with you. You know, I
used to weigh two hundred pounds before I went into
the military, and I didn't feel confident. I didn't feel
(49:52):
like I was worthy of doing anything because I was
hiding behind you know, stress, and the food was comfort
for me because there's a lot of chaos growing up.
So then when I went into military, I was able
to go and because I lost all this weight. Yeah,
but the true journey is I've been able to maintain
(50:13):
this weight loss for over thirty five years because I
decided that that's what I'm going to do. So sometimes
we're just one decision away. That is so true for
changing and transforming your life. And you know, I look
back at that girl who was sixteen year old, girl
(50:34):
that was not sure of herself. And I look now
at this fifty two year old woman, and I say.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
You know what slaying you know?
Speaker 4 (50:45):
And when we could say that about ourselves, like live ourselves,
you know, we are our own hype person. Yes, you
did that, you did that. Why do you think that
you can't do this over here that you're trying to do?
Like how do we get there?
Speaker 5 (51:04):
You know?
Speaker 4 (51:05):
So it's regaining our confidence, regaining our uh our our
inner being. You know of how power that we have.
We all have it in us. We all have a brand.
So what is that brand going to look like? In
the transformation? And I decided my hair's got to be different,
all right, y'all If you look at some of my
(51:27):
pictures I was, I was a woman jailing the hair back.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (51:32):
Yeah, So I had to start from here and say, okay,
what do I want my hairstyle to look at? You know,
what clothes do I want to represent? Like what kind
of what kind of personality do I have? It's got
to match this personality it's very few, you know. And
then looking at okay, where where do I spend my
(51:54):
time at? And what who do I spend my time with? Yes,
it's all about obstruction your life in a different way
where you can see yourself and much in a much
different light. So what's the legacy? Okay, and again that's
another question. What is the legacy that you're trying to
leave because a legacy of being in the military is
(52:17):
part of the story, is not the entire story.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, Yeah, it's all about what you're ingesting ingesting in
your ears and your eyes, the food that you take.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
And the people that you're around.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
You really have to be intentional about who you surround yourself,
what you're where, you're at, all of those. I love
your messaging, especially the person on branding, you know, because
you know what's funny when we were talking, you know,
we talked about us going we were both at the
WBI conference and this is you know, this blew my
(52:52):
mind because I didn't know you, but you you saw
me because that's what you do, right with the but
and it you you empowered me that day because I
I am intentional about what I wear, Like for real,
I have to go present somewhere.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
I take my stuff out a week ahead and.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
I like every day I'm like doing something to make
it the perfect outfit. So when you were like, were
you that person? And I was like, oh, I didn't
see you there. But it goes back. Somebody is always watching, right,
Somebody is always watching, which is why you have to
be intentional with who you're being, how you're showing up
(53:36):
in these places, who you surround yourself with, you know,
And that's one of my biggest goals is to surround
myself with like minded people because I want good food,
I want good entry, you know, I want good positive
things around me to elevate me. Sometimes you stay in
situations like we don't have to stay in that place
(53:58):
where somebody's continuously bringing us down or just like you said,
burdening us with their dramas and their traumas.
Speaker 3 (54:05):
You don't have to say there, you can.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Excuse yourself and go get your dinner, go feed yourself
somewhere else.
Speaker 4 (54:12):
Exactly exactly, you know. And I think that people think
it's like, well, we're talking about it like it's so easy,
and I'm not.
Speaker 3 (54:20):
Yeah, thank you for seeing that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (54:22):
I'm not going to be you know that person that says,
oh yeah, just you know, make this decision and get there.
Is a process of understanding, like who you are and
then where are you at and doing things just a
little bit differently. Just I wouldn't say overhauled in one day,
(54:43):
because that's not realistic, that's not sustainable. It's what can
I do, you know, a little bit over time to
kind of change the trajectory of my life where it's
set up. Where I have said, Okay, these are my
bad here is the way that I want to be
(55:05):
taken in. And when people advocate on your behalf, they're
advocating for the right things.
Speaker 3 (55:13):
Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (55:15):
And I did not want my brand in the military
to be the brand per se in the civilian sector,
because then that means I'm staying stuck in where I
was and that was the past. Yes, my past has
(55:35):
you know, it has a a place, and you can
share that for sure. But at the same time, how
I am making my life in this new chapter as
I'm transitioning. It can't be the same old, same old,
because then we get the same result, we get the
(55:57):
same result. So do want a little bit at a
time to see where you're at and going, Okay, I
made a little tweak there, maybe I'll make a little
tweak in this particular area. Yeah, and over time, you're
going to see because it's taken me. I retire in
twenty twenty one, it's taken me at least three years
(56:20):
to really figure out like, yes, like what are we doing?
Like where are we trying to go?
Speaker 2 (56:26):
And the thing we got to remember too, this at
different times for everybody. It may take you three years,
it may take me seven eight years. It may take
another person a year. You know, just understand that our
journeys are not going to be the same. You know,
we just have to take take it and striketh just
(56:47):
you know, trust the process, trust the progress, and just
keep trying to evolve.
Speaker 4 (56:52):
That's right, Yeah, And you know, and give yourselves grace,
you know, because I have I'm that type of woman
as like, man, I didn't get that right, you know,
and I have to sew myself down like like we're
not in that your job. Yeah, I've been already done
that a million times. So like you got to calm down, yeah, right,
(57:15):
you got to give yourself like a little bit more
credit than what you are giving yourself because you are
doing the best that you possibly can or what you
have right now, and it's working. It's you know, it's working.
For you all is not at lost. Look at all
(57:35):
the great things that you have learned about yourself, about
other people. You know. I didn't want to stay in
I just know military people. I wanted to experience the
world at large. You know what did What was I
missing while I was.
Speaker 2 (57:53):
A whole different world too? Like you got to get
out there and experience it. You cannot and wait for
it to.
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Come to you. You're gonna have to go and figure
this thing out for real. I mean when I got.
Speaker 2 (58:07):
That realization, I was like, oh, small, yeah, so I
missed out on it, like, you know, so get out,
get out.
Speaker 4 (58:17):
You know, people meet people, some great clothes all these
yesterday and I was dressed because I was coming from
an event. I had all my pink sparkly shoes, you know,
and I've got this pink cold on and I'm in
all these little baskets. They were looking at me, and
(58:40):
I said, it's a great day to do whatever you
want to do in here, all right, Like I'm just
gonna get these breakfast biscuits for my son, and I'm
trying to get up out of here.
Speaker 3 (58:48):
You know.
Speaker 4 (58:49):
It's just like but you know.
Speaker 2 (58:52):
Yeah, yeah, And I know people that opportunity to experience
that other side of us too, because you know, I'm goofy,
but you know, like, if you don't know me personally,
you would really think I'm serious, and I'm not.
Speaker 3 (59:07):
I'm not serious. I can be, but I'm not, you know.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
But but you know, we go out, we meet people
and embrace them and give them an opportunity to embrace us.
Speaker 4 (59:19):
You know.
Speaker 3 (59:21):
Yes, yeah, it's almost we've been talking about.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
This is what I was talking about week ago, on
and on. Okay, this is why I love this. I
love this so much. So last question, last question, So,
beyond the uniform, beyond the titles, and beyond the expectation
of others, who is the most unapologetic version of you?
Speaker 3 (59:48):
And what does she stand for?
Speaker 4 (59:51):
Oh, the most unapologetic version of me? It is really
it's interesting because again my name affection I'm affectionately called
a slave queen. Yeah, so you know, when I show up,
I'm like, I am the slave queen. Okay, how does
(01:00:13):
the queen operate? Right? We move in a different way.
It's like we're showing up high energy, high level energy, right,
and we're looking for people who have the same type
of personality as we are right, so we can ignite
and this, you know, action starts to happen, and so
(01:00:34):
I bring the fire like I'm always thinking, like, I
got through some very hard times, but I don't look
like what I've been through. Yes, look like what I've
been through.
Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
So I'm like, if I am at this point in
my life where I have all this knowledge and experience
and I know that life is hard, but yet and
still I continue to show up with this fire in me,
believe in me. That's how I continue to show up.
What I'm doing here on your show is exactly how
(01:01:09):
I show up when I'm in person. And I don't
want anyone to ever think that, you know, she just
sat on the rocking chair and you know, she just
said it's not her turn, okay, And I look at
everybody else on the sideline doing what they do. No,
(01:01:30):
we have so much, so much to give, so let's
just give, you know, give ourselves to the world and
be the light. There's darkness in this world, you know.
So I'm like, if you have it and you have that, like,
just just come out, all right, just come out you
know what, Yes, this you know, even if you're not
(01:01:55):
like the person that you think that you should you
know that you should be like I know, like some
of us are dreamers and we're wanting to be that.
I'm like just moving it like I yes.
Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
Yes, own it, just own.
Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
It, yes it yeah. So yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
So, Rachelle, this was again another incredible conversation. You dropped
so many gems today on leadership, on mindset, on personal branding,
and just like you said, just unapologetically owning your power.
So I hope from today's episode that our listeners walk
(01:02:34):
away with, you know, just feeling inspired, motivated, and ready
to slay in their own lives. But before we get off, I, Rachelle,
I would like you to tell people how they can
connect with you, how they can learn more from you,
how they can get their hands on your book, just
how they can find you.
Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
Okay, y'all. So every day a'mo on LinkedIn and there's
a reason why I'm on LinkedIn, Okay, so it's on purpose,
so you can find me there. I'm again post every day.
I have my website that I created on my own,
so it's not perfect, and then it's not button up
because it is exactly what I created it to be.
(01:03:17):
So it's www dot slay s l A y t
O two success dot com so you can check out,
you know, all the things I got videos. I have
a YouTube channel, so it's called Slay to Success, so
you can binge watch a bunch of videos on there.
I also on Facebook. I'm a little bit on Instagram,
(01:03:41):
but I don't, you know, mess around too much on Instagram.
But you can find me at at the Slave Boss Lady,
so if you want to check me out there, and
then all of my books are on Amazon, so just
put my name in there, Rochelle Hemingway, and you will
see the four books that come up. And one of
(01:04:02):
them is specifically for women over forty because I feel
like at that age, society tells us to sit in
and sit down and it's not your turn. So I
talk about personal branding strategies that we can use to
leverage in our transition or in our next whatever that is.
So I just thank you Renee for having me. I
just love, love love this opportunity.
Speaker 3 (01:04:25):
Yes my day, Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
So to my audience, well, I hope you take away.
Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
You got some really good takeaways from today's episode, and
I want to encourage you to take action, whether it's
refining your personal brand, shifting your mindset, which is a
big one.
Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
Or stepping into that person you were meant to be.
Just slay. We're in every aspect of your life, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Rachelle, again, thank you for sharing your brilliance and your.
Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
Slave queenness with us.
Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (01:05:05):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
To all my unapologetic warriors out there, keep leading, keep evolving,
and most importantly, keep slaying. Remember we're here live every
Friday at eleven pm, I mean am, do not log
on an eleven pm eleven am Eastern. So if you
(01:05:29):
enjoy today's episode, please like, share, and subscribe for more
inspiring stories and conversations. Until the next time, stay bold,
stay empowered, and keep living unapologetically.
Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
This has been living unapologetically beyond the Uniform with your host,
Renee Jones Hutson. We hope you found inspiration and valuable
insights in today's episodiso. Remember your journey of redefining, rediscovering,
and reaffirming your life post military is unique and powerful.
Stay connected with us for more stories, advice and support.
(01:06:13):
Until next time, Stay strong and stay empowered. Listen Friday's
eleven am Eastern on The Bold Brave TV network,
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