September 2, 2025 • 19 mins
Based on Dr. Shu Chen Hou’s insightful guide The Co-Parenting Blueprint: Building Success After Separation, this podcast explores how separated or divorced parents can create a harmonious, child-centered co-parenting relationship.
From understanding the foundations of co-parenting and managing personal emotions to developing effective plans and communication strategies, each episode provides practical tools for parents navigating life after separation. We’ll also dive into handling new relationships, managing high-conflict situations, and fostering resilience and emotional intelligence in children—ensuring they grow in a stable, supportive environment.
Whether you’re just starting your co-parenting journey or seeking to strengthen existing arrangements, this podcast offers clarity, compassion, and actionable strategies for building a brighter future for your family.
#CoParenting #ParentingAfterDivorce #ChildCenteredParenting #FamilyWellness #ParentingPodcast #ResilientKids #PositiveParenting #EmotionalIntelligence
👉The Co-Parenting Blueprint: Building Success After Separation
https://amzn.eu/d/4HSVuK0
👉 Apple Ebooks: https://books.apple.com/gb/author/shu-chen-hou/id1643138532
👉Google Play Ebooks: https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=Shu+Chen+Hou
💗KOKOSHUNGSAN® – Eco-Friendly Learning for an Empowered Future ►https://kokoshungsan.net
💗 Earn with Kokoshungsan Ltd ► https://kokoshungsanltd.gumroad.com/affiliates
💗KOKOSHUNGSAN® Music:
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCzW_kPEaU9TtFJdPQtF43ig
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCEtPd_qlZdRR8hrCyWQhzYQ
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-well-living-rich-shuang-yu-jian-kang-cai-fu-xue-yuan--5644223/support.
Copyright (с) 2012 KOKOSHUNGSAN®;
Kokoshungsan Ltd. , Registered in
England and Wales, UK. No. 08105394 ;
128 City Road, London, EC1V 2NX, UK.
From understanding the foundations of co-parenting and managing personal emotions to developing effective plans and communication strategies, each episode provides practical tools for parents navigating life after separation. We’ll also dive into handling new relationships, managing high-conflict situations, and fostering resilience and emotional intelligence in children—ensuring they grow in a stable, supportive environment.
Whether you’re just starting your co-parenting journey or seeking to strengthen existing arrangements, this podcast offers clarity, compassion, and actionable strategies for building a brighter future for your family.
#CoParenting #ParentingAfterDivorce #ChildCenteredParenting #FamilyWellness #ParentingPodcast #ResilientKids #PositiveParenting #EmotionalIntelligence
👉The Co-Parenting Blueprint: Building Success After Separation
https://amzn.eu/d/4HSVuK0
👉 Apple Ebooks: https://books.apple.com/gb/author/shu-chen-hou/id1643138532
👉Google Play Ebooks: https://play.google.com/store/books/author?id=Shu+Chen+Hou
💗KOKOSHUNGSAN® – Eco-Friendly Learning for an Empowered Future ►https://kokoshungsan.net
💗 Earn with Kokoshungsan Ltd ► https://kokoshungsanltd.gumroad.com/affiliates
💗KOKOSHUNGSAN® Music:
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCzW_kPEaU9TtFJdPQtF43ig
https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCEtPd_qlZdRR8hrCyWQhzYQ
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/living-well-living-rich-shuang-yu-jian-kang-cai-fu-xue-yuan--5644223/support.
Copyright (с) 2012 KOKOSHUNGSAN®;
Kokoshungsan Ltd. , Registered in
England and Wales, UK. No. 08105394 ;
128 City Road, London, EC1V 2NX, UK.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
We welcome back to the Deep Dive. Today, we're tackling
a challenge we hear about so often. How do you
navigate parenting after separation, especially when it feels like, you know,
you're constantly bracing for conflict. What if it didn't have
(00:29):
to be a battle. What if it could be well,
a collaborative journey focused purely on your children's well being?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Exactly?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
That's the core question, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It really is, And that's what we're exploring today, is
we unpack the co parenting blueprint building success after separation.
We've really immersed ourselves in this guide and specifically for
you listening, we try to extract the most well, the
most transformative strategies insights to help you reduce stress, genuinely
prioritize your kids, and build a co parenting dynamic that
(01:00):
actually works for everyone.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, our mission in this deep dive is really to
cut through some of the noise, go beyond just surface
level stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
We're looking for those.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
You know, aha moments, things that will empower you, whether
you're just starting out or maybe looking to improve things.
Think of this as your practical roadmap, a way to
foster that low conflict child first partnership.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, let's dive right into the core concepts then, starting
with what doctor chu Chin who lays out as the
foundations the pillars of co parenting. Now, things like open communication, consistency.
They might seem obvious, right, but the Blueprint offers this
really powerful reframing of flexibility.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
HM, tell me more about that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, it's not just about you know, adapting when the
kid gets sick last minute. It's deeper. It's presented as
a mindset shift, choosing to see unexpected changes not as
problems or like infringements on your plan, but as chances
to model adaptability resilience for your kids. That feels like
a really profound shift, It truly is.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's a great point.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And when parents can adopt that kind of collaborative flexibility, wow,
the ripple effects are immense. The Blueprint highlights how this
gives children crucial stability security, It buffers them, you know,
mitigate some of the emotional challenges and helps them keep
healthy relationships with.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Both parents, which is so important, absolutely and something often overlooked.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It actually elevates the parent to parent relationship itself, transforms
it into a partnership built on.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Improved communication and mutual respect.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
And when you connect that to the bigger picture, you
see how these healthy practices give kids vital life skills,
managing relationships, resolving conflict peacefully, right skills for life exactly.
Doctor Howe captures this so well, She writes, ultimately, embracing
effective co parenting is a commitment to lifelong learning and growth,
not just for you, but for your children.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That's powerful, especially the lifelong learning part. Yeah, because it's easy,
isn't it to get caught in common misconceptions about co parenting.
The book tackles these head on, like the idea that
it's just parenting as usual but separated.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Right, which it's definitely not.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
No, it needs a completely new intentional mindset. Another big one,
you don't actually need to be best friends with your ex.
The Blueprint clarifies that mutual respect, open communication for the
children's needs, that's what truly matters.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
That distinction is crucial, respect, not necessarily friendship.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Precisely and importantly, these arrangements, they are set in stone,
they're dynamic, they ev al. It's not about winning or losing,
as doctor Hope puts it, It's about creating a stable
foundation for your children's future.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Okay, So moving from the concepts to something deeply personal.
The Blueprint dedicates a really crucial section to navigating your emotions.
It's incredibly insightful, I think, emphasizing that you need to
acknowledge the whirlwind of feelings, sadness, anger, relief, maybe even hope.
It's all natural, it's valid. It's about giving yourself permission
(03:54):
to actually feel it, which.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Is harder than it sounds.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Sometimes, oh definitely.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And it offers practical ways through it. Journaling maybe for
self exploration, or reaching out friends, support groups, a counselor.
This isn't just you know, navel gazing. It's about modeling
emotional intelligence for your children. When you process your feelings,
your actions, your decisions, they become more intentional, less reactive.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That makes so much sense, and the Blueprint really stresses
how your well being directly impacts your parenting capacity. You know,
saying you can't pour from an empty cup classic but true. Exactly,
if your emotional battery is drained, you just won't have
the energy the patience for those tough co parenting moments.
So self compassion, mindfulness, maybe exercise time and nature. These
(04:38):
aren't luxuries. They're essential, essential maintenance for your mental and
physical health. Doctor who puts it wisely, separation changes your
family structure, but love and teamwork can still hold it together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Absolutely spot on.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So with that emotional foundation and kind of addressed, the
book then shifts brilliantly to the practical side, setting up
a coparenting plan. And this isn't just about a cut
city schedule, it's a framework for success. The core elements
clear communication, naturally consistent routines, predictable schedules are huge for kids.
That flexibility we talked about, and critically robust conflict resolution strategies.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Having a plan for when things do go wrong precisely.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And what the Blueprint really drives home is that the
children's emotional and psychological needs they have to be shielded
from adult conflicts always.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That part is no negotiable.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, and that's where communication isn't just like a suggestion,
it's the lifeline. The Blueprint gives really practical guidance here,
setting ground rules, preferred methods, email, text response times. But
it goes deeper. It emphasizes active listening.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Which is a skill in itself, totally truly.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Try and understand the other person's emotions, their intentions, not
just the words they're saying, paraphrasing what you hear, asking
open ended questions, simple techniques, but they can diffuse tension
almost immediately and using eye statements, keeping a calm tone,
keeping conversations focused on the kids. Doctor Howe's message is
so clear. Success in co parenting starts with choosing peace
(06:05):
over conflict, and she also says the best gift divorced
parents can give their children is a united front of
love and understanding.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
That's beautifully pushed.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
This is where the vision I think really takes shape,
building a genuine team mentality. The book emphasizes that your
shared goal, your unwavering goal, is the children's well being. Period.
By presenting that united front, even if you disagree behind
the scenes, you give them invaluable emotional stability. Security.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, consistency is key for them exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
It's about fostering their relationships with both parents, reinforcing their
loved supported from all signs, and a wonderful strategy off
and overlook I think is celebrating joint successes.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Oh I like that, What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Well, it could be the kid's achievements, sure, but also
small co parenting milestones you've hit together, maybe you navigated
a tricky holiday schedule. Well, acknowledge it these moments, As
doctor Hohe notes, they aren't about perfection. It's about progress
and putting your children's needs first.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
That's great building on that team idea. The Blueprint also
wisely acknowledges that well, two parents often mean two distinct
parenting styles. It encourages self reflection. First, understand your own approach,
but just as important, understand your coparents' style. This isn't
about judging or forcing alignment on everything. It's about respecting differences.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
How do you do that respectfully? Though? When you fundamentally disagree, It.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Comes back to active listening again, showing empathy, consciously modeling
respect for your children. They see everything. When you can
focus on the common ground what you both want for
the kids, even amidst disagreements, you demonstrate a powerful lesson
compromise respect. As doctor Howe reminds us, even in separation,
parents can be a team when the goal is their child's.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Happiness and that unity, that teamwork, it translates directly into
supporting your children for it all. The book really focuses
on understanding children's emotions, creating a safe space, letting them
express themselves without judgment, actively listening to their worries, being
attuned to subtle signs of distress, and aligning with your
co parent on how you'll offer that emotional support.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
That's key to a united emotional front.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yes, and it's also about creating a stable environment in
both homes, consistent routines, clear expectations, boundaries, fostering that sense
of belonging wherever they are. Doctor Howe emphasizes every peaceful
interaction with your co parent is an investment in your
child's emotional well.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Being, every single one.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Now, despite all the best intentions, conflicts will happen, right,
They're almost inevitable. So the Blueprint dedicates a vital section
to conflict resolution techniques. It starts with recognizing triggers.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Knowing what pushes your buttons and maybe.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
There's too exactly through self reflection, maybe journaling again, and
crucially developing strategies to manage those triggers before they derail things.
A deep breath, a pause, maybe even a pre agreed
timeout signal. Then for de escalation when things do get heated,
the book introduces the BIFF method.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Have you heard of this vaguely yeah, brief, informative.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Brief, informative, friendly, and firm BIFF. It's simple, but it's
an incredibly powerful framework keeps exchanges productive, focused even when
emotions are running high, and the blueprint is clear seeking
professional help, a therapist, a mediator. That's not weakness, it's
a proactive step strength, really getting guidance, maybe structured planning.
(09:24):
Doctor how says, your children learn from how you handle challenges.
Let co parenting teach them resilience and respect.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
That BIF method sounds like a real game changer, and
it underlines that proactive approach. The book champions beyond just
specific conflicts. The blueprint also touches on co parenting in
different situations, practical stuff like handling new relationships, being transparent,
thoughtful introductions, setting boundaries with your co parent about.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
It which can be so tricky.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Absolutely. It even addresses those really challenging, high conflict coparenting
scenarios again stressing clear boundaries, using things like BIFF, and
always always prioritizing the kid's needs above the conflict. Doctor
Howe's overarching message comes through again. The journey of co
parenting is about collaboration, not competition and.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
As you move forward establish these new patterns. The blueprint
doesn't just leave you there. It highlights the power of
family traditions and joint celebrations for the kids. These traditions
they aren't just you know, fun things to do. They
offer stability, connection. They foster that sense of unity for
the children, security.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Right, creating positive memories together exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And they also create a natural platform for open dialogue
between parents, reinforcing that shared commitment. It's about reassuring children
that their parents love, their support. It's constant, even if
the family structure looks different.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Okay, So finally the book brings it all together. It
looks at resources and support systems and moving forward. It
points to finding community support local groups, online forums, leveraging
professional resources, and for the practicalities of modern life. It
highlights online tools and apps like Our Family Wizard for example.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Ah, yes, those can be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
They really can. It's more than just a shared calendar,
though some are Our Family Wizards Specifically, it provides this
immutable record of communications, which can be a game changer
in high conflict situations, creates transparency, accountability. Ultimately, this whole
journey is about embracing change, setting future goals, smart goals,
ideally maybe involving your co parent always with flexibility. Doctor
(11:31):
Howe leaves us with that powerful reminder, you may no
longer be partners in marriage, but you'll always be partners
in parenting.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
M partners in parenting.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, it's about focusing on the child, not the conflict.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
So who is the person behind this, Doctor shut Chenhair.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Exactly, Doctor shut Chen Hill, and her background is fascinating. Actually,
she started in the scientific field, then transitioned, became this
engaging writer and founded Kokushumsan Ltd. It seems like this
unique blend inspired by her mother's love for art and
storytelling at her father's commitment to education, it really shaped
her vision both for this blueprint and her wider work.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
And that wider work is kokushung San Ltd. It's worth
talking about. At its heart, Kokushung Song believes that knowledge
can change destinies, that education has the power to change
the world.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
A powerful mission it is.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Their goal is to break down barriers to education, empower
people through transformative knowledge. It's a global digital platform. They
offer a really diverse array of educational content ebooks, audiobooks,
online courses, even specialize English learning resources for children.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And what's really remarkable about cocushon Soan, I think, is
that choosing their resources, like the co Parenting Blueprint, it's
not just a personal investment, you're actually supporting a larger movement,
a movement for global change. How So, while you're helping
bring education to those who might not have access otherwise,
you're contributing to environmental protection initiatives. They support fostering a
(12:57):
more equitable society. So ardly encourage you listening, visit kokoshamsan
dot net. Explore the resources you can join a journey
that impacts not just you, but the wider world too.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That's a great connection.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So wrapping this up, what does this all mean for you?
The big takeaway from the co Parenting Blueprint, it's clear
separation doesn't have to be a battle. It really can
be an opportunity, a powerful one, an opportunity to forge
a thriving family dynamic, build on collaboration, clear communication, and
that unwavering commitment to your children's well being.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And if we connect this back to the broader philosophy
of Kokushamsan, maybe here's a final thought them all over,
consider how embracing a mindset of continuous learning and growth,
not just in co parenting, but in well every aspect.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Of your life.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
How that can truly empower you and your children to
navigate any change with resilience, with grace, with an open heart.
It's about seeing challenges less as obstacles and more as
opportunities to grow.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's a fantastic way to frame it. So for a
much deeper, much more personal dive into all these strategies
to really transform your co parenting journey, we absolutely recommend
picking up the co Parenting Blueprint Building Success after Separation
by doctor Shuchinho.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
And definitely remember to explore cocushionksn dot net. It really
is a treasure trog of educational resources designed to support
your personal growth and, as we said, contribute to a
larger positive impact.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
When the storm clouds gather and the winds grow strong,
then the law You've been brave a law. In the
darkest moments, when hope feels thin, look inside your hall
at the life within, gigging.
Speaker 6 (14:49):
A way through the chaine of in every time stand,
don't be afraid of fall.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You have the power risi all.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
When the world feels heavy and the night so long,
Hold on to your dreams, fine where you belong every steppute,
say breeze your closer to the light, keep moving fall.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
And it's only young.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
Lie Rose all makes your speary soft break up the shade.
Only every too stands all to be afraid to fall.
She has power lies above all.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
When the world feels heavy and the night so all alone,
hold on to your dreams, fine where you belong to
every steppute, say breeze.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Closer to the light, keep moving fall before your man,
your face and temple. You are songer than you know.
(16:17):
Befo style with never the hoppy, with never shine, not
too nazy side.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
Los above it.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
That's a spearysult break through the.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Chase, hoping every tour stands all to be afraid of fall.
You have the power above as to keep the face.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Lets your heart be strong, the journeys your own.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Will you be long with love and courage.
Speaker 8 (16:53):
You find your way.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Tomorrow's a new.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Dawn and brays to.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
Embracing.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
So keep the famous, change your own way you feel.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
To find you alway some mon time. Embrace today.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
When the world feels heavy and the night so long,
hold on to your dreams fine, will you belong?
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Every step you say brings your closer to the light.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Keep moving forward.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
With thought your life.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
When the face.
Speaker 8 (18:01):
Itself drive of hi jewel shoulder than noly short stepper
with severy hobby would never stop.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
Know that the ture lies is sud. So keep the
face that jop be song, the joe your own way,
your bet.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Lovely true.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
It shall find you.
Speaker 6 (18:29):
A way to most A little doll race today, So
the face the shock be, So the journey is to
all vue, so truall find you away some longs.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
No dolly raised today,
We welcome back to the Deep Dive. Today, we're tackling
a challenge we hear about so often. How do you
navigate parenting after separation, especially when it feels like, you know,
you're constantly bracing for conflict. What if it didn't have
(00:29):
to be a battle. What if it could be well,
a collaborative journey focused purely on your children's well being?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Exactly?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
That's the core question, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It really is, And that's what we're exploring today, is
we unpack the co parenting blueprint building success after separation.
We've really immersed ourselves in this guide and specifically for
you listening, we try to extract the most well, the
most transformative strategies insights to help you reduce stress, genuinely
prioritize your kids, and build a co parenting dynamic that
(01:00):
actually works for everyone.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Yeah, our mission in this deep dive is really to
cut through some of the noise, go beyond just surface
level stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
We're looking for those.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
You know, aha moments, things that will empower you, whether
you're just starting out or maybe looking to improve things.
Think of this as your practical roadmap, a way to
foster that low conflict child first partnership.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Okay, let's dive right into the core concepts then, starting
with what doctor chu Chin who lays out as the
foundations the pillars of co parenting. Now, things like open communication, consistency.
They might seem obvious, right, but the Blueprint offers this
really powerful reframing of flexibility.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
HM, tell me more about that.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, it's not just about you know, adapting when the
kid gets sick last minute. It's deeper. It's presented as
a mindset shift, choosing to see unexpected changes not as
problems or like infringements on your plan, but as chances
to model adaptability resilience for your kids. That feels like
a really profound shift, It truly is.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's a great point.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And when parents can adopt that kind of collaborative flexibility, wow,
the ripple effects are immense. The Blueprint highlights how this
gives children crucial stability security, It buffers them, you know,
mitigate some of the emotional challenges and helps them keep
healthy relationships with.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Both parents, which is so important, absolutely and something often overlooked.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It actually elevates the parent to parent relationship itself, transforms
it into a partnership built on.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Improved communication and mutual respect.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
And when you connect that to the bigger picture, you
see how these healthy practices give kids vital life skills,
managing relationships, resolving conflict peacefully, right skills for life exactly.
Doctor Howe captures this so well, She writes, ultimately, embracing
effective co parenting is a commitment to lifelong learning and growth,
not just for you, but for your children.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That's powerful, especially the lifelong learning part. Yeah, because it's easy,
isn't it to get caught in common misconceptions about co parenting.
The book tackles these head on, like the idea that
it's just parenting as usual but separated.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Right, which it's definitely not.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
No, it needs a completely new intentional mindset. Another big one,
you don't actually need to be best friends with your ex.
The Blueprint clarifies that mutual respect, open communication for the
children's needs, that's what truly matters.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
That distinction is crucial, respect, not necessarily friendship.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Precisely and importantly, these arrangements, they are set in stone,
they're dynamic, they ev al. It's not about winning or losing,
as doctor Hope puts it, It's about creating a stable
foundation for your children's future.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Okay, So moving from the concepts to something deeply personal.
The Blueprint dedicates a really crucial section to navigating your emotions.
It's incredibly insightful, I think, emphasizing that you need to
acknowledge the whirlwind of feelings, sadness, anger, relief, maybe even hope.
It's all natural, it's valid. It's about giving yourself permission
(03:54):
to actually feel it, which.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Is harder than it sounds.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Sometimes, oh definitely.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
And it offers practical ways through it. Journaling maybe for
self exploration, or reaching out friends, support groups, a counselor.
This isn't just you know, navel gazing. It's about modeling
emotional intelligence for your children. When you process your feelings,
your actions, your decisions, they become more intentional, less reactive.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
That makes so much sense, and the Blueprint really stresses
how your well being directly impacts your parenting capacity. You know,
saying you can't pour from an empty cup classic but true. Exactly,
if your emotional battery is drained, you just won't have
the energy the patience for those tough co parenting moments.
So self compassion, mindfulness, maybe exercise time and nature. These
(04:38):
aren't luxuries. They're essential, essential maintenance for your mental and
physical health. Doctor who puts it wisely, separation changes your
family structure, but love and teamwork can still hold it together.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Absolutely spot on.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
So with that emotional foundation and kind of addressed, the
book then shifts brilliantly to the practical side, setting up
a coparenting plan. And this isn't just about a cut
city schedule, it's a framework for success. The core elements
clear communication, naturally consistent routines, predictable schedules are huge for kids.
That flexibility we talked about, and critically robust conflict resolution strategies.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Having a plan for when things do go wrong precisely.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
And what the Blueprint really drives home is that the
children's emotional and psychological needs they have to be shielded
from adult conflicts always.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
That part is no negotiable.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah, and that's where communication isn't just like a suggestion,
it's the lifeline. The Blueprint gives really practical guidance here,
setting ground rules, preferred methods, email, text response times. But
it goes deeper. It emphasizes active listening.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Which is a skill in itself, totally truly.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Try and understand the other person's emotions, their intentions, not
just the words they're saying, paraphrasing what you hear, asking
open ended questions, simple techniques, but they can diffuse tension
almost immediately and using eye statements, keeping a calm tone,
keeping conversations focused on the kids. Doctor Howe's message is
so clear. Success in co parenting starts with choosing peace
(06:05):
over conflict, and she also says the best gift divorced
parents can give their children is a united front of
love and understanding.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
That's beautifully pushed.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
This is where the vision I think really takes shape,
building a genuine team mentality. The book emphasizes that your
shared goal, your unwavering goal, is the children's well being. Period.
By presenting that united front, even if you disagree behind
the scenes, you give them invaluable emotional stability. Security.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah, consistency is key for them exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
It's about fostering their relationships with both parents, reinforcing their
loved supported from all signs, and a wonderful strategy off
and overlook I think is celebrating joint successes.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Oh I like that, What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Well, it could be the kid's achievements, sure, but also
small co parenting milestones you've hit together, maybe you navigated
a tricky holiday schedule. Well, acknowledge it these moments, As
doctor Hohe notes, they aren't about perfection. It's about progress
and putting your children's needs first.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
That's great building on that team idea. The Blueprint also
wisely acknowledges that well, two parents often mean two distinct
parenting styles. It encourages self reflection. First, understand your own approach,
but just as important, understand your coparents' style. This isn't
about judging or forcing alignment on everything. It's about respecting differences.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
How do you do that respectfully? Though? When you fundamentally disagree, It.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Comes back to active listening again, showing empathy, consciously modeling
respect for your children. They see everything. When you can
focus on the common ground what you both want for
the kids, even amidst disagreements, you demonstrate a powerful lesson
compromise respect. As doctor Howe reminds us, even in separation,
parents can be a team when the goal is their child's.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Happiness and that unity, that teamwork, it translates directly into
supporting your children for it all. The book really focuses
on understanding children's emotions, creating a safe space, letting them
express themselves without judgment, actively listening to their worries, being
attuned to subtle signs of distress, and aligning with your
co parent on how you'll offer that emotional support.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
That's key to a united emotional front.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yes, and it's also about creating a stable environment in
both homes, consistent routines, clear expectations, boundaries, fostering that sense
of belonging wherever they are. Doctor Howe emphasizes every peaceful
interaction with your co parent is an investment in your
child's emotional well.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Being, every single one.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Now, despite all the best intentions, conflicts will happen, right,
They're almost inevitable. So the Blueprint dedicates a vital section
to conflict resolution techniques. It starts with recognizing triggers.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Knowing what pushes your buttons and maybe.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
There's too exactly through self reflection, maybe journaling again, and
crucially developing strategies to manage those triggers before they derail things.
A deep breath, a pause, maybe even a pre agreed
timeout signal. Then for de escalation when things do get heated,
the book introduces the BIFF method.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Have you heard of this vaguely yeah, brief, informative.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Brief, informative, friendly, and firm BIFF. It's simple, but it's
an incredibly powerful framework keeps exchanges productive, focused even when
emotions are running high, and the blueprint is clear seeking
professional help, a therapist, a mediator. That's not weakness, it's
a proactive step strength, really getting guidance, maybe structured planning.
(09:24):
Doctor how says, your children learn from how you handle challenges.
Let co parenting teach them resilience and respect.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
That BIF method sounds like a real game changer, and
it underlines that proactive approach. The book champions beyond just
specific conflicts. The blueprint also touches on co parenting in
different situations, practical stuff like handling new relationships, being transparent,
thoughtful introductions, setting boundaries with your co parent about.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
It which can be so tricky.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Absolutely. It even addresses those really challenging, high conflict coparenting
scenarios again stressing clear boundaries, using things like BIFF, and
always always prioritizing the kid's needs above the conflict. Doctor
Howe's overarching message comes through again. The journey of co
parenting is about collaboration, not competition and.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
As you move forward establish these new patterns. The blueprint
doesn't just leave you there. It highlights the power of
family traditions and joint celebrations for the kids. These traditions
they aren't just you know, fun things to do. They
offer stability, connection. They foster that sense of unity for
the children, security.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Right, creating positive memories together exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
And they also create a natural platform for open dialogue
between parents, reinforcing that shared commitment. It's about reassuring children
that their parents love, their support. It's constant, even if
the family structure looks different.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Okay, So finally the book brings it all together. It
looks at resources and support systems and moving forward. It
points to finding community support local groups, online forums, leveraging
professional resources, and for the practicalities of modern life. It
highlights online tools and apps like Our Family Wizard for example.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Ah, yes, those can be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
They really can. It's more than just a shared calendar,
though some are Our Family Wizards Specifically, it provides this
immutable record of communications, which can be a game changer
in high conflict situations, creates transparency, accountability. Ultimately, this whole
journey is about embracing change, setting future goals, smart goals,
ideally maybe involving your co parent always with flexibility. Doctor
(11:31):
Howe leaves us with that powerful reminder, you may no
longer be partners in marriage, but you'll always be partners
in parenting.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
M partners in parenting.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, it's about focusing on the child, not the conflict.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
So who is the person behind this, Doctor shut Chenhair.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Exactly, Doctor shut Chen Hill, and her background is fascinating. Actually,
she started in the scientific field, then transitioned, became this
engaging writer and founded Kokushumsan Ltd. It seems like this
unique blend inspired by her mother's love for art and
storytelling at her father's commitment to education, it really shaped
her vision both for this blueprint and her wider work.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
And that wider work is kokushung San Ltd. It's worth
talking about. At its heart, Kokushung Song believes that knowledge
can change destinies, that education has the power to change
the world.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
A powerful mission it is.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Their goal is to break down barriers to education, empower
people through transformative knowledge. It's a global digital platform. They
offer a really diverse array of educational content ebooks, audiobooks,
online courses, even specialize English learning resources for children.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And what's really remarkable about cocushon Soan, I think, is
that choosing their resources, like the co Parenting Blueprint, it's
not just a personal investment, you're actually supporting a larger movement,
a movement for global change. How So, while you're helping
bring education to those who might not have access otherwise,
you're contributing to environmental protection initiatives. They support fostering a
(12:57):
more equitable society. So ardly encourage you listening, visit kokoshamsan
dot net. Explore the resources you can join a journey
that impacts not just you, but the wider world too.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
That's a great connection.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
So wrapping this up, what does this all mean for you?
The big takeaway from the co Parenting Blueprint, it's clear
separation doesn't have to be a battle. It really can
be an opportunity, a powerful one, an opportunity to forge
a thriving family dynamic, build on collaboration, clear communication, and
that unwavering commitment to your children's well being.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And if we connect this back to the broader philosophy
of Kokushamsan, maybe here's a final thought them all over,
consider how embracing a mindset of continuous learning and growth,
not just in co parenting, but in well every aspect.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Of your life.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
How that can truly empower you and your children to
navigate any change with resilience, with grace, with an open heart.
It's about seeing challenges less as obstacles and more as
opportunities to grow.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's a fantastic way to frame it. So for a
much deeper, much more personal dive into all these strategies
to really transform your co parenting journey, we absolutely recommend
picking up the co Parenting Blueprint Building Success after Separation
by doctor Shuchinho.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
And definitely remember to explore cocushionksn dot net. It really
is a treasure trog of educational resources designed to support
your personal growth and, as we said, contribute to a
larger positive impact.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
When the storm clouds gather and the winds grow strong,
then the law You've been brave a law. In the
darkest moments, when hope feels thin, look inside your hall
at the life within, gigging.
Speaker 6 (14:49):
A way through the chaine of in every time stand,
don't be afraid of fall.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
You have the power risi all.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
When the world feels heavy and the night so long,
Hold on to your dreams, fine where you belong every steppute,
say breeze your closer to the light, keep moving fall.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
And it's only young.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
Lie Rose all makes your speary soft break up the shade.
Only every too stands all to be afraid to fall.
She has power lies above all.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
When the world feels heavy and the night so all alone,
hold on to your dreams, fine where you belong to
every steppute, say breeze.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Closer to the light, keep moving fall before your man,
your face and temple. You are songer than you know.
(16:17):
Befo style with never the hoppy, with never shine, not
too nazy side.
Speaker 8 (16:28):
Los above it.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
That's a spearysult break through the.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
Chase, hoping every tour stands all to be afraid of fall.
You have the power above as to keep the face.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Lets your heart be strong, the journeys your own.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Will you be long with love and courage.
Speaker 8 (16:53):
You find your way.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
Tomorrow's a new.
Speaker 4 (16:57):
Dawn and brays to.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
Embracing.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
So keep the famous, change your own way you feel.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
To find you alway some mon time. Embrace today.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
When the world feels heavy and the night so long,
hold on to your dreams fine, will you belong?
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Every step you say brings your closer to the light.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Keep moving forward.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
With thought your life.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
When the face.
Speaker 8 (18:01):
Itself drive of hi jewel shoulder than noly short stepper
with severy hobby would never stop.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
Know that the ture lies is sud. So keep the
face that jop be song, the joe your own way,
your bet.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Lovely true.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
It shall find you.
Speaker 6 (18:29):
A way to most A little doll race today, So
the face the shock be, So the journey is to
all vue, so truall find you away some longs.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
No dolly raised today,
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.