June 20, 2022 • 18 mins
David R. York is an estate planning attorney and CPA with more than 20 years of experience and has worked with over 7,000 clients, including billionaires and business owners, celebrities and sports figures, and entrepreneurs of all shapes and sizes.
He has represented first generation wealth creators, fifth generation wealth maintainers, and everything in between. He has also worked with individuals, couples and families across the wealth spectrum and countless non-profits looking to make a difference in an all too broken world.
Speaking with him about money and society was highly interesting, let us know what you think?
Remember you can get ahold of us, book speaking engagements and support this channel via our link: https://linktr.ee/LondonsLeadership_Podcast
He has represented first generation wealth creators, fifth generation wealth maintainers, and everything in between. He has also worked with individuals, couples and families across the wealth spectrum and countless non-profits looking to make a difference in an all too broken world.
Speaking with him about money and society was highly interesting, let us know what you think?
Remember you can get ahold of us, book speaking engagements and support this channel via our link: https://linktr.ee/LondonsLeadership_Podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Whether you believe it or not,you are a leader in your everyday life.
Whether it's within your family, inyour work environment, or even online,
you can and will affect change inthose around you. Join me in
conversation with authors, professors and leaders, so together we can learn all things
regarding leadership and life. I'm yourhost, Fananda Carrillo, and welcome back
(00:22):
to another episode of London's Leadership Podcast. Hello everybody, welcome back to London's
Leadership Podcast. Today we're going tolearn about money. And I'm so interested
in learning about the eight Myths ofmoney, which is what we're going to
be talking about today. I've beenrecently, you know, studying money and
(00:44):
speaking to people who who know howto work with money. And I'm so
excited that to dare get to speakto David York, who's an attorney and
CPA and he works in a stateplanning he wrote the book called The Gift
of Lyft and he's going to talkto us about the eight Myths of Money.
So, David us why you're sointerested in money and how did you
come to get to find these eightmiss of money? Well, I first,
(01:08):
thanks for I've been looking forward tothis my background is doing tax and
estate planning, so I've helped peoplewith their wealth, protecting their wealth,
preserving their wealth, transfering their wealth. And in the process of doing that,
I came in with a lot ofassumptions about not just money, but
meaning and happiness and all of thosethings. But over the last twenty five
(01:30):
years, I've come to realize thata lot of things that I thought were
true about money, meaning, happinessjust simply weren't. So let's just get
into it. Then, let's justgo We've got eight to go through.
So what's the first one. Well, first one is this is that the
formula for happiness is simple, right, money equals happiness. So if I
(01:55):
have money, I'm happy. IfI have more money, I'm happier.
And that's act actually just not thecase. They actually did a study and
it's it's somewhat true. So theydid a study a few years ago where
they looked at the correlation between theamount of money that you make and the
happiness that comes from it. Andwhat they found, to no one's surprises,
if you make more money, you'rehappier, but only up to a
(02:16):
certain point. And in the UnitedStates that's about ninety five thousand dollars,
and after that period of time theyactually saw a decrease, so that as
you made more money, your levelof happiness actually started to go down.
So we tend to think of itas correlative, more money happier, but
(02:37):
they actually found that wasn't the case, and it was for three interesting reasons.
One which kind of makes sense,and that is the more money you
make, the harder it is tomake it right, so it involves more
work, more effort, more timeaway from doing other things. But the
other two were interesting. The secondwas that we began, as you begin
(02:59):
to make more money, you startto compare yourself to others, so it's
not so much about how much youmake or how much you have. You
start looking at how much others haveand how much they make, and we
started to get dissatisfaction from that.But then the third was really interesting.
In the US anyway, at aboutninety five thousand dollars, you can get
(03:19):
everything you need and then you canshift to what you want. And the
reality is need can be quantified,but want isn'tsatiable, so we always want
more. So whatever the car is, then you want the nicer car.
You want the bigger house, youwant more stuff, and it actually becomes
a point of not only diminishing earnon that if your experience is, hey,
(03:46):
I just need more money to behappier, it's just not true.
So interesting, So money means thatI'm happier is the first myth? So
interesting that fact thousand gets you whatyou need. That's quantifiable. But after
that, it's what you want andit's and it's not quantifiable because it's you
(04:08):
can never reach the limit. That'sexactly so interesting. Okay, so money
means I'm happy. What's the nextone? Smith? The next one is
that, Well, I say this, in the US, a dollar equals
a dollar there. I guess you'dsay a pound equals a pound, right,
you know that The reality is it'snot that's not the case. Is
that money, or a dollar ora pound can actually be worth more or
(04:31):
less you depending on how you receivedit. So in the United States,
they've they've done studies, and Ithink it's probably true in England as well.
The average American inheritance, in otherwords, what people inherit from their
parents, who their parents have accumulatedover their course of their life, is
on average consumed within eighteen months.So what people build and acquire over the
(04:55):
question of their life is on averageconsumed by their kids over a period of
time of eighteen months, even amongthe highest nut worth. So you think,
okay, well that's true of theaverage person, but not the ultra
wealthy. What they found is amongthe ultra wealthy the half life of inherited
wealth is about eight years. Soyou take what even the most the wealthiest
(05:15):
people acquire, and that's an averagecut in half every every eight years,
so you inherit twenty million dollars.Statistically speaking, after twenty four years,
the average inheritor has two and ahalf million dollars left. The other is
that sometimes a dollar is actually worthmore than a dollar. They did this
(05:40):
fascinating study where they gave college studentstwo mugs. They sold them mugs that
were worth seven dollars, and theysold them for two dollars. Half the
group they sold it to them fortwo dollars cash, and half for two
dollars on a credit card. Now, studies have shown that when you pay
with cash that you actually feel pain, you feel a sense of loss associated
(06:03):
with that that you don't experience withthe credit cards. But that wasn't the
experiment. They then went back tothe kids and they said, look,
we accidentally sold too many mugs.We need to buy these mugs back from
you. And so, but youtell us the price you want to sell
them back for. Well, thehalf that sold the mugs or bought the
mugs with credit cards were much morewilling to sell those mugs back, and
(06:26):
on average asked for about three dollarsand eighty cents. Those who paid with
two dollars cash they paid the exactsame amount, but they felt that imperceptible
level of pain or cost associated withit were much less willing to sell the
mugs back, and on average demandedsix dollars and seventy one cents. So
(06:46):
the perceived value of that mug,just because of the cost or pain associated
with it, doubled the perception ofvalue for that And so the reality is
that that what we have, whatwe own, what value really is a
product more of the cost to us, the personal cost and time, hard
work effort, than it is onthe empirical value of that asset itself.
(07:15):
A pound equals a pound, allequals a dollar. It's incredible to know
that that that an inheritance is consumedin eighteen months, and even with the
ultra wealthyest half in eight years.I think that's unbelievable. I think.
I guess it's also partly because eventhough it's an inheritance, your parents,
(07:38):
you people, someone's worked through it, you haven't worked for it. So
it's in some ways, I guessthe money's not worth that much to you.
It's not that valuable to you,so you're able to spend it so
freely. Exactly. Yeah, Ikind of give the analogy. If if
I handed you a first place metalto the the Iron Man in Hawaii,
(08:03):
you wouldn't wear it. You wouldn'tcare about it, you'd set it aside.
If you finished that race and youhad to qualifying, you'd probably be
wearing it now, right. Youknow, it's not what it is,
it's what it costs you. Andunfortunately, too often we either try to
cut out the cost element for ourselvesor we try to cut the cost element
out for others, and in theprocess we actually undercut value. Yes,
(08:26):
okay, so money money means I'mhappier is the first myth. Then the
second myth is a pound equals apound or dollar equals a dollar. So
interesting. What's the third myth?Is that all we need to be content
in life is a little bit more, right, you know. It's that
proverbial Yeah, yeah, isn't it? You know? All I need is
(08:52):
just a little bit more. Andthe reality is that reaching a spot of
contentedness it's a mirage, like younever get there. And they did a
study here in the US, andI don't know if this is the same
in England, but our home sizeshave been increasing, so from the nineteen
(09:13):
seventies to now, the average sizeof American home has gone from fifteen hundred
to twenty five hundred and at thesame time, so just in London,
it's well, I live in London. Is the opposite because in London,
in London there's no space anymore.So but anyway, it's interesting just to
say that, yeah, well,and you have to combine that with the
(09:33):
fact that families in America are abouthalf the size that they were, so
you have half the size of thefamilies living in almost twice the square footage.
We've gone from five hundred square feetper person in America in the nineteen
seventies to almost one thousand square feetper person of living space, and no
change at all in happiness levels whenit comes to homes, and so we
(09:58):
just constantly I think that. Andyou do studies among the affluent. You
take the ultra affluent, and theyask them how many of you would say
more money would make you even happier? Nineteen percent? How many say more
stuff four percent. So the realityis contentedness is far more a condition of
the heart than it is a conditionof the pocket book. Such a great
(10:22):
line. Contentedness is much more anissue of the heart than it is the
pocketbook. Yeah, is that whatyou said? Yep, brilliant, so
true. Yes, I think thatyou know, the idea of being content
(10:43):
it has to do with us livingour purpose. I love what this.
My friend Curtis Martin, he's anNFL Hall of Famer. He always says
that where our talents and the world'smeet neat and the world's meat and the
world needs meet, there are purposelives. And I think we're often,
(11:07):
you know, pursuing more money,a little bit more to try and find
try try to be content or tryto be more happy. But I think
it's really contentedness is actually found,As you said, it's a matter of
the heart, and when we're livingout a purpose, which is basically I
really believe it's helping others, howcan we will help others and how can
(11:33):
we do our best to fulfill ourpurpose in life by serving the people around
us? Is much quicker going tolead you to be content than having a
little bit more or money anyway?Just yeah, absolutely. In fact,
the funny thing is that actually leadsright into one of the other myths,
which is achievement and happiness come fromfocusing on white Achievement and happiness, right
(11:54):
Like, that's what we believe,and yet the studies show it achievement and
happiness actually come from focusing on others. Oh, they did this interesting study
among kids, and they looked atparents who focus on achievement for their kids,
like their high achievement, all aboutachievement, And what they found is
(12:15):
those kids don't actually outperform or outachieve their peers, but what they do
experience is much higher levels of stressand anxiety and depression. So that high
focus on achievement doesn't actually move theneedle, but it makes us more anxious.
Those parents who helped focus on theirkids' happiness, what they would tend
(12:37):
to do with that is it wouldhelp their kids do what avoid cost,
avoid pain, avoid issues or traumabecause those things can be unfun. And
yet they ended up less happy becausethey didn't develop the coping skills necessary to
deal with life. And yet whatthey found was kids who had a high
focus on empathy and on care forothers actually showed higher levels of achievement and
(13:03):
higher levels of happiness. So exactlywhat you just said, we focus on
the wrong thing because we just thinkintuitively, well, if I need to
achieve then I need to focus onachievement. Actually, you can actually increase
achievement by focusing on others. Sogood. I think that's the message the
(13:24):
world needs to hear right now.I think we're just living in such a
self centered world where everyone's just focusedon themselves, on the things that you
said, How can I have moremoney? How can I people content for
myself? How can I have morepounds, more dollars just for the miss,
just for achievement's sake, just topost it on Instagram, post it
on tiktoks, or the world cancelebrate me. Hoping that happiness, contentedness
(13:48):
would lot would be found in anyof those things, but it's not it's
found in helping others. It's fundin serving the world around you. And
one of the times, you know, I've been most content, and you
know, I went with this teamof young people to Nigeria and they were
they were fundraising for for some timeto build some wells there and everybody who
(14:09):
went their life was just transformed becausethey they found that they could be they
could make a difference in somebody else'slife, and they were the most happy
they'd ever been. They didn't haveany club like when they went out there.
They they were living in hearts thatwe were. We were, you
know, up there with them,but we didn't need anything. Yeah,
(14:30):
you know, our lives were changed. And I just want to encourage anyone
who's listening, Like, you know, it's great to achieve, it's great
to be leaders in society and bea leader in every spirit of society.
But I think the point of thispodcast has always been be that leader,
Be in that position, lead theteam for the sole purpose of helping everyone
(14:52):
around you and helping everyone around youget better, not for ourselves, because
when we do it for ourselves doesn'tactually help. Like so anyway, sorry,
please keep going. This is sono, it was. In fact,
it reminds me there was another studywhere they gave students five dollars a
day to spend on themselves. Sohere's five bucks a day, go spend
(15:18):
it on yourself, and they noticedan increase in happiness, but it went
down over the course of the week, and by the end of the week
they were no happier having spent thatfive dollars a day than they were when
they started. But at the otherhalf they gave them five bucks and they
said, go spend it on someoneelse every day, and what they found
was the same bump and happiness,but the bump never came down. So
(15:41):
what happened was when you spend iton yourself, you actually habituate to it,
right, you get used to it. It's like a hit of a
drug that wears off. But givingyou actually didn't habituate to it, and
you continue that higher level of happinessduring that whole period of time. Uh.
And so you know, we I'mall for the nobility of it,
(16:03):
and I'm all for the other centerednessof it, but the reality is science
shows us, reality shows us thatit we are actually happier, more content
when we focus on giving to others. Hmmm. And there's this, there's
this, there's this scripture that saysit's more blessed to give than to receive.
(16:26):
Yeah, and it's that's a truism, right, I mean, it's
just that's actually just true. Andblessed means happy, right, you know,
happier the ones who give. He'sstating a fact. Yeah, David,
I think that's a I think,how, David, how would you
feel about us doing around two?I think this is such a perfect way
(16:48):
to end today's episodes on those fourmyths. So the foremost we spoke about
money means I'm happier. A poundequals a pound. All we need to
do to be content, it's justis to have a little bit more achievement
and happiness come from achievement and happiness. And we showed how they were all
missed. And and I think howwe summarize it just at the end that
(17:11):
really all these things, you know, the answer to what what our hearts
are looking for in all these things. That contentedness is found in giving,
in giving of ourselves, of ourtime, of our energy for others,
and serving the people around us.And that's the greatest way that we can
then grow ourselves and the greatest waythat we can benefit from it all as
(17:33):
well. Is anything else you wantto add to that, David, No,
I think that's great. I thinkif you if you've got nothing else
from that but that it's transformational,brilliant. And David, how can people
get in contact with you? Youcan go to David R York dot com.
It's got access to the new book. I also did Ted Talk a
(17:56):
couple of years ago, just onwealth and what what wealth really is and
what wealth transfer really looks like.So welcome to check that out and just
google my name and Ted Talk andit should pop up. Brilliant. Well,
thank you so much, David,and we'll book another one because I
want to get the other four andI'm sure everyone else is going to really
want to listen to those. Andthank you so much everybody for listening today
(18:18):
on London's Leadership Podcast. Thank youso much for joining me today. I
can't wait to see you next time. Remember to leave a review, let
me know what you think, andif you need help implementing anything we've discussed,
or you just want to say hello, feel free to email me at
Fernando at London's Leadership podcast dot com. Until next time, remember to live
and lead with love every day.
Whether you believe it or not,you are a leader in your everyday life.
Whether it's within your family, inyour work environment, or even online,
you can and will affect change inthose around you. Join me in
conversation with authors, professors and leaders, so together we can learn all things
regarding leadership and life. I'm yourhost, Fananda Carrillo, and welcome back
(00:22):
to another episode of London's Leadership Podcast. Hello everybody, welcome back to London's
Leadership Podcast. Today we're going tolearn about money. And I'm so interested
in learning about the eight Myths ofmoney, which is what we're going to
be talking about today. I've beenrecently, you know, studying money and
(00:44):
speaking to people who who know howto work with money. And I'm so
excited that to dare get to speakto David York, who's an attorney and
CPA and he works in a stateplanning he wrote the book called The Gift
of Lyft and he's going to talkto us about the eight Myths of Money.
So, David us why you're sointerested in money and how did you
come to get to find these eightmiss of money? Well, I first,
(01:08):
thanks for I've been looking forward tothis my background is doing tax and
estate planning, so I've helped peoplewith their wealth, protecting their wealth,
preserving their wealth, transfering their wealth. And in the process of doing that,
I came in with a lot ofassumptions about not just money, but
meaning and happiness and all of thosethings. But over the last twenty five
(01:30):
years, I've come to realize thata lot of things that I thought were
true about money, meaning, happinessjust simply weren't. So let's just get
into it. Then, let's justgo We've got eight to go through.
So what's the first one. Well, first one is this is that the
formula for happiness is simple, right, money equals happiness. So if I
(01:55):
have money, I'm happy. IfI have more money, I'm happier.
And that's act actually just not thecase. They actually did a study and
it's it's somewhat true. So theydid a study a few years ago where
they looked at the correlation between theamount of money that you make and the
happiness that comes from it. Andwhat they found, to no one's surprises,
if you make more money, you'rehappier, but only up to a
(02:16):
certain point. And in the UnitedStates that's about ninety five thousand dollars,
and after that period of time theyactually saw a decrease, so that as
you made more money, your levelof happiness actually started to go down.
So we tend to think of itas correlative, more money happier, but
(02:37):
they actually found that wasn't the case, and it was for three interesting reasons.
One which kind of makes sense,and that is the more money you
make, the harder it is tomake it right, so it involves more
work, more effort, more timeaway from doing other things. But the
other two were interesting. The secondwas that we began, as you begin
(02:59):
to make more money, you startto compare yourself to others, so it's
not so much about how much youmake or how much you have. You
start looking at how much others haveand how much they make, and we
started to get dissatisfaction from that.But then the third was really interesting.
In the US anyway, at aboutninety five thousand dollars, you can get
(03:19):
everything you need and then you canshift to what you want. And the
reality is need can be quantified,but want isn'tsatiable, so we always want
more. So whatever the car is, then you want the nicer car.
You want the bigger house, youwant more stuff, and it actually becomes
a point of not only diminishing earnon that if your experience is, hey,
(03:46):
I just need more money to behappier, it's just not true.
So interesting, So money means thatI'm happier is the first myth? So
interesting that fact thousand gets you whatyou need. That's quantifiable. But after
that, it's what you want andit's and it's not quantifiable because it's you
(04:08):
can never reach the limit. That'sexactly so interesting. Okay, so money
means I'm happy. What's the nextone? Smith? The next one is
that, Well, I say this, in the US, a dollar equals
a dollar there. I guess you'dsay a pound equals a pound, right,
you know that The reality is it'snot that's not the case. Is
that money, or a dollar ora pound can actually be worth more or
(04:31):
less you depending on how you receivedit. So in the United States,
they've they've done studies, and Ithink it's probably true in England as well.
The average American inheritance, in otherwords, what people inherit from their
parents, who their parents have accumulatedover their course of their life, is
on average consumed within eighteen months.So what people build and acquire over the
(04:55):
question of their life is on averageconsumed by their kids over a period of
time of eighteen months, even amongthe highest nut worth. So you think,
okay, well that's true of theaverage person, but not the ultra
wealthy. What they found is amongthe ultra wealthy the half life of inherited
wealth is about eight years. Soyou take what even the most the wealthiest
(05:15):
people acquire, and that's an averagecut in half every every eight years,
so you inherit twenty million dollars.Statistically speaking, after twenty four years,
the average inheritor has two and ahalf million dollars left. The other is
that sometimes a dollar is actually worthmore than a dollar. They did this
(05:40):
fascinating study where they gave college studentstwo mugs. They sold them mugs that
were worth seven dollars, and theysold them for two dollars. Half the
group they sold it to them fortwo dollars cash, and half for two
dollars on a credit card. Now, studies have shown that when you pay
with cash that you actually feel pain, you feel a sense of loss associated
(06:03):
with that that you don't experience withthe credit cards. But that wasn't the
experiment. They then went back tothe kids and they said, look,
we accidentally sold too many mugs.We need to buy these mugs back from
you. And so, but youtell us the price you want to sell
them back for. Well, thehalf that sold the mugs or bought the
mugs with credit cards were much morewilling to sell those mugs back, and
(06:26):
on average asked for about three dollarsand eighty cents. Those who paid with
two dollars cash they paid the exactsame amount, but they felt that imperceptible
level of pain or cost associated withit were much less willing to sell the
mugs back, and on average demandedsix dollars and seventy one cents. So
(06:46):
the perceived value of that mug,just because of the cost or pain associated
with it, doubled the perception ofvalue for that And so the reality is
that that what we have, whatwe own, what value really is a
product more of the cost to us, the personal cost and time, hard
work effort, than it is onthe empirical value of that asset itself.
(07:15):
A pound equals a pound, allequals a dollar. It's incredible to know
that that that an inheritance is consumedin eighteen months, and even with the
ultra wealthyest half in eight years.I think that's unbelievable. I think.
I guess it's also partly because eventhough it's an inheritance, your parents,
(07:38):
you people, someone's worked through it, you haven't worked for it. So
it's in some ways, I guessthe money's not worth that much to you.
It's not that valuable to you,so you're able to spend it so
freely. Exactly. Yeah, Ikind of give the analogy. If if
I handed you a first place metalto the the Iron Man in Hawaii,
(08:03):
you wouldn't wear it. You wouldn'tcare about it, you'd set it aside.
If you finished that race and youhad to qualifying, you'd probably be
wearing it now, right. Youknow, it's not what it is,
it's what it costs you. Andunfortunately, too often we either try to
cut out the cost element for ourselvesor we try to cut the cost element
out for others, and in theprocess we actually undercut value. Yes,
(08:26):
okay, so money money means I'mhappier is the first myth. Then the
second myth is a pound equals apound or dollar equals a dollar. So
interesting. What's the third myth?Is that all we need to be content
in life is a little bit more, right, you know. It's that
proverbial Yeah, yeah, isn't it? You know? All I need is
(08:52):
just a little bit more. Andthe reality is that reaching a spot of
contentedness it's a mirage, like younever get there. And they did a
study here in the US, andI don't know if this is the same
in England, but our home sizeshave been increasing, so from the nineteen
(09:13):
seventies to now, the average sizeof American home has gone from fifteen hundred
to twenty five hundred and at thesame time, so just in London,
it's well, I live in London. Is the opposite because in London,
in London there's no space anymore.So but anyway, it's interesting just to
say that, yeah, well,and you have to combine that with the
(09:33):
fact that families in America are abouthalf the size that they were, so
you have half the size of thefamilies living in almost twice the square footage.
We've gone from five hundred square feetper person in America in the nineteen
seventies to almost one thousand square feetper person of living space, and no
change at all in happiness levels whenit comes to homes, and so we
(09:58):
just constantly I think that. Andyou do studies among the affluent. You
take the ultra affluent, and theyask them how many of you would say
more money would make you even happier? Nineteen percent? How many say more
stuff four percent. So the realityis contentedness is far more a condition of
the heart than it is a conditionof the pocket book. Such a great
(10:22):
line. Contentedness is much more anissue of the heart than it is the
pocketbook. Yeah, is that whatyou said? Yep, brilliant, so
true. Yes, I think thatyou know, the idea of being content
(10:43):
it has to do with us livingour purpose. I love what this.
My friend Curtis Martin, he's anNFL Hall of Famer. He always says
that where our talents and the world'smeet neat and the world's meat and the
world needs meet, there are purposelives. And I think we're often,
(11:07):
you know, pursuing more money,a little bit more to try and find
try try to be content or tryto be more happy. But I think
it's really contentedness is actually found,As you said, it's a matter of
the heart, and when we're livingout a purpose, which is basically I
really believe it's helping others, howcan we will help others and how can
(11:33):
we do our best to fulfill ourpurpose in life by serving the people around
us? Is much quicker going tolead you to be content than having a
little bit more or money anyway?Just yeah, absolutely. In fact,
the funny thing is that actually leadsright into one of the other myths,
which is achievement and happiness come fromfocusing on white Achievement and happiness, right
(11:54):
Like, that's what we believe,and yet the studies show it achievement and
happiness actually come from focusing on others. Oh, they did this interesting study
among kids, and they looked atparents who focus on achievement for their kids,
like their high achievement, all aboutachievement, And what they found is
(12:15):
those kids don't actually outperform or outachieve their peers, but what they do
experience is much higher levels of stressand anxiety and depression. So that high
focus on achievement doesn't actually move theneedle, but it makes us more anxious.
Those parents who helped focus on theirkids' happiness, what they would tend
(12:37):
to do with that is it wouldhelp their kids do what avoid cost,
avoid pain, avoid issues or traumabecause those things can be unfun. And
yet they ended up less happy becausethey didn't develop the coping skills necessary to
deal with life. And yet whatthey found was kids who had a high
focus on empathy and on care forothers actually showed higher levels of achievement and
(13:03):
higher levels of happiness. So exactlywhat you just said, we focus on
the wrong thing because we just thinkintuitively, well, if I need to
achieve then I need to focus onachievement. Actually, you can actually increase
achievement by focusing on others. Sogood. I think that's the message the
(13:24):
world needs to hear right now.I think we're just living in such a
self centered world where everyone's just focusedon themselves, on the things that you
said, How can I have moremoney? How can I people content for
myself? How can I have morepounds, more dollars just for the miss,
just for achievement's sake, just topost it on Instagram, post it
on tiktoks, or the world cancelebrate me. Hoping that happiness, contentedness
(13:48):
would lot would be found in anyof those things, but it's not it's
found in helping others. It's fundin serving the world around you. And
one of the times, you know, I've been most content, and you
know, I went with this teamof young people to Nigeria and they were
they were fundraising for for some timeto build some wells there and everybody who
(14:09):
went their life was just transformed becausethey they found that they could be they
could make a difference in somebody else'slife, and they were the most happy
they'd ever been. They didn't haveany club like when they went out there.
They they were living in hearts thatwe were. We were, you
know, up there with them,but we didn't need anything. Yeah,
(14:30):
you know, our lives were changed. And I just want to encourage anyone
who's listening, Like, you know, it's great to achieve, it's great
to be leaders in society and bea leader in every spirit of society.
But I think the point of thispodcast has always been be that leader,
Be in that position, lead theteam for the sole purpose of helping everyone
(14:52):
around you and helping everyone around youget better, not for ourselves, because
when we do it for ourselves doesn'tactually help. Like so anyway, sorry,
please keep going. This is sono, it was. In fact,
it reminds me there was another studywhere they gave students five dollars a
day to spend on themselves. Sohere's five bucks a day, go spend
(15:18):
it on yourself, and they noticedan increase in happiness, but it went
down over the course of the week, and by the end of the week
they were no happier having spent thatfive dollars a day than they were when
they started. But at the otherhalf they gave them five bucks and they
said, go spend it on someoneelse every day, and what they found
was the same bump and happiness,but the bump never came down. So
(15:41):
what happened was when you spend iton yourself, you actually habituate to it,
right, you get used to it. It's like a hit of a
drug that wears off. But givingyou actually didn't habituate to it, and
you continue that higher level of happinessduring that whole period of time. Uh.
And so you know, we I'mall for the nobility of it,
(16:03):
and I'm all for the other centerednessof it, but the reality is science
shows us, reality shows us thatit we are actually happier, more content
when we focus on giving to others. Hmmm. And there's this, there's
this, there's this scripture that saysit's more blessed to give than to receive.
(16:26):
Yeah, and it's that's a truism, right, I mean, it's
just that's actually just true. Andblessed means happy, right, you know,
happier the ones who give. He'sstating a fact. Yeah, David,
I think that's a I think,how, David, how would you
feel about us doing around two?I think this is such a perfect way
(16:48):
to end today's episodes on those fourmyths. So the foremost we spoke about
money means I'm happier. A poundequals a pound. All we need to
do to be content, it's justis to have a little bit more achievement
and happiness come from achievement and happiness. And we showed how they were all
missed. And and I think howwe summarize it just at the end that
(17:11):
really all these things, you know, the answer to what what our hearts
are looking for in all these things. That contentedness is found in giving,
in giving of ourselves, of ourtime, of our energy for others,
and serving the people around us.And that's the greatest way that we can
then grow ourselves and the greatest waythat we can benefit from it all as
(17:33):
well. Is anything else you wantto add to that, David, No,
I think that's great. I thinkif you if you've got nothing else
from that but that it's transformational,brilliant. And David, how can people
get in contact with you? Youcan go to David R York dot com.
It's got access to the new book. I also did Ted Talk a
(17:56):
couple of years ago, just onwealth and what what wealth really is and
what wealth transfer really looks like.So welcome to check that out and just
google my name and Ted Talk andit should pop up. Brilliant. Well,
thank you so much, David,and we'll book another one because I
want to get the other four andI'm sure everyone else is going to really
want to listen to those. Andthank you so much everybody for listening today
(18:18):
on London's Leadership Podcast. Thank youso much for joining me today. I
can't wait to see you next time. Remember to leave a review, let
me know what you think, andif you need help implementing anything we've discussed,
or you just want to say hello, feel free to email me at
Fernando at London's Leadership podcast dot com. Until next time, remember to live
and lead with love every day.
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