Boyfriend Would Rather Eat at His Mom’s Than Cook—That's My Cue To Walk Away

Relationship Stories - OP’s boyfriend confessed he planned to eat at his mom’s every night instead of cooking. The comment struck a nerve, making OP seriously question their future—and recognize it was time to end the relationship.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lost-genre-reddit-stories--5779056/support.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, and welcome back to Lost Genre Reddit stories.
This post is from the subject that a m iight
the A hole, and it's by user Nero opposite fifty
seven thirty seven am I the A hole for straight
up telling my boyfriend that I'm breaking up with him
because he doesn't want to cook for himself. So I
twenty seven female, was talking with my boyfriend, thirty one male,

(00:26):
and he said that every night he doesn't want to
have to cook after his long day at work, so
he therefore will be eating at his mom's every night.
He also works from home that he's not hanging out
with me. He's moving into his house soon. And while
I understand and appreciate that it sucks to cook for yourself,
it feels extremely unattractive to have someone say that they

(00:48):
don't want to cook for themselves, especially after spending a
decade cooking for myself every meal every day I work
twelve hour shifts, and I just think, how would this
be if we were together long term? Would I do
all the cooking? I guess probably that's a deal breaker.
I like cooking for my partner, but it sort of

(01:08):
seems like it's not something that he's ever going to do.
Maybe the question is would I be the eqal if
I break up with him over text and tell him
why honestly when I do, or is it less a
holish to say it's me not him? For context, I'm
his first girlfriend? Am I the acal If I tell
him it physically repulsed me when he said it? Well be,

(01:31):
in my opinion, you've already made up your mind that
this is a deal breaker and that you're repulsed by
him and that you just wanna break up, which if
I was in your shoes, it is the decision that
I would definitely make. I don't know if he said
it to just share some information with you or because
he expects you to do it instead of him, but
still red flag in my opinion. And even though what

(01:51):
he said is completely odd that a thirty one year
old man would prefer his mommy cook for him instead
of him doing it himself, he was being honest with you.
He might as well be honest with him and tell
him that it's just a turn off, that it's a
deal breaker for you and it's best to part ways
right now now. Whatever words you choose to relay that message,
that's on you, but no, OPI I don't think it

(02:13):
would make you an ahole if you're honest about why
you're breaking up. And what do you guys think? Let
me know in the comments section, and now let's check
out the community comments. Aifa Kai says, not the Ahle,
married for thirteen years, two kids. I want you to
know this is the kind of stuff that kills relationships.
The amount of built up resentment from an entitled partner

(02:34):
will have you daydreaming stabbing him in the eyeball. And
it now ended early. Save yourself any future headache. Bubby
Chicken ninety three fifty eight says, not the Ahle, because
I'd bet my last nickel this isn't the only thing
he refuses to do for himself, and that he will
assume you will do for him when his mommy stops

(02:55):
doing it. You could have a conversation about it. Ask
him flat out, does he see he himself continuing to
go to his mother's for dinner every night? Or does
he just assume you will do it? Ask him who
does his laundry. It is possible that he truly hates
cooking and would be willing to do all other chores
if you agree to do that one. It's not likely,

(03:16):
but it's possible. Good luck. Flower of Iron says, quote,
I'm looking for a partnership a person who has my
back and I have theirs. I'm not looking for someone
who wants me to cook for them every night after
a twelve hour shift because they are too lazy. What
would happen in the future? Would I be expected to
do all the housework while I work and use it

(03:37):
around You are showing that you don't value me end quote.
Right now you're dating, This is the best it will be.
People are usually on their best behavior. Toxic traits usually
come out after marriage. He's showing you this now, don't
waste more of your time and Opie response. I think
I will definitely paraphrase this because it really does make

(03:58):
me feel like what I'm trying to communicate. And Shady
Hollow Farm fifty eight says, it isn't that hard to
prepare a meal for one after work. I can whip
up something simple using a toaster of and a microwave
and be eating in just twenty minutes, or just assemble
a big salad or a sandwich. I used to work
twelve to fourteen hour days at two jobs. For most

(04:20):
of my working life, I'd make big batches of something
on weekends for hot meals on workdays, and some could
be frozen in single serve portion. This guy's not a
full fledged adult, and I'm guessing there are other domestic
choices he won't do for himself. If he rarely washes
his sheets or his living areas are dirty, that's your

(04:41):
sign he will not lift a finger. If you ever
live with him, you can just tell him you're not
going to be compatible, and if he asks for details,
you can tell him that you don't want to be
the person who has to do everything in the house.
Don't fall for empty promises. He's showing you what he is.
Running to Mama regularly for meals at his AB is
just odd and it doesn't sound like he is adulting yet.

(05:04):
Opie's edit for anyone asking how long we've been together,
We've been dating about a month, talking and seeing each
other for four months. I'm taking this breakup thing seriously
because I feel horrible breaking his heart, but I'm also
thoroughly disgusted. Also, he's a work from home accountant. I
commute an hour and work as a nurse in a
very physically and emotionally demanding field. I expect my partner

(05:27):
to pick up the slack when I'm exhausted. Is I
would do for him. When he said this to me,
it was like a bomb being dropped on me. Every
excuse I made for him just sort of shattered. I
can't even muster the force to text him back because
I'm so reposed, but I have three night shifts coming up,
so I guess I'll just pretend for now. Additional information

(05:48):
from Opie's comments. Just to be clear, this isn't some
easy out for me. I actually really liked him and
I was falling in love. That's part of why this hurts.
It feels like real heartbreak, not just to con venient
excuse to dump someone. I cared for him deeply, which
is why his words hit me so hard. The thing is,
I know what it means to take care of yourself.

(06:09):
I cook for myself for over a decade, all through
nursing school, while working full time, sometimes with part time
classes stacked on top. It's not glamorous, but it's doable.
That's why his comment about never wanting to cook felt
so heavy, especially after he can't cook. He's made donuts
and random things during COVID, So it's not like he

(06:29):
doesn't know how, he just doesn't want to. To me,
that says less about skill and more about expecting me
to take it on. Maybe this hits harder for me
because of how I grew up. I'm Canadian and Italian
and food is such a big part of family life.
I cook for my mom, my stepdad, and min Nona.
We all make homemade lasagna together on special occasions. So

(06:51):
when he says he won't cook for himself, it doesn't
sound like visiting family for dinner. It sounds like opting
out of adulthood. That's what disgusts me. I know some
people think breaking up by text would be fine, but
I've decided to do it in person. I'm nervous because
I worry I'll crumble, but I need to find my
backbone and stand by how I feel. At the end

(07:11):
of the day, all I have to go on are
is words and actions, and they're enough for me to
know I don't want a future where I'm carrying this
entire load by myself. Well, the community is doing their
best to raise their flag, and OPI has already seen it,
so she's made a decision. Now, OPI has given us
two updates that are fairly similar, so I've curated them
into one update plus the information from her comments. So

(07:34):
let's move on with that to see how this story ends.
I liked this man. I was falling in love with him.
I posted on Reddit because I cared the fact that
a thirty one year old man has no interest in
cooking for himself physically repulses me. Maybe because of past relationships,
maybe because there are other underlying things adding up. All
I know is that when I entered this I thought

(07:56):
I saw a mature, intelligent man ready to build a
life with someone he found equally appealing. Now I see
a spoiled man child who would have me cooking and
cleaning for the rest of my life because he had
such a long day at work. There are women who
will gladly take on every bit of the emotional, physical,
and domestic labor in a relationship. I'm not that woman.

(08:18):
I need a partner, not a child. Partners share the
burden of life's tasks. When I am down, I'd need
my partner to lift me up, and vice versa. Most
of the comments here were right, it's a huge red flag.
I'm better off focusing on myself, and I've been thinking
about buying my mom and stepdad's home so they can
retire and my brother and his partner can have stabidity.

(08:40):
Just to clear a few things up. It's not like
he's completely incapable of cooking. He's told me he's made donuts,
stir fry, soup, banana bread, and once invited me for pancakes.
And I've cooked for him plenty, sun dried tomato, chicken
and pasta, bruschetta, breat zucchini, fresh grape chebet. So it
isn't a Pelts. It's about willingness. He just doesn't want to.

(09:03):
When I met his family, it all made sense. His
mom was the clear matriarch, not angry but curious and
a little judgmental. His dad and sister were cheerful and
easy going. Meanwhile, he was completely silent the entire time,
like he just defaulted to quiet under her presence. And
I'll admit when I posted, what I secretly wanted was

(09:26):
to hear from him that he'd try, that he'd meet
me have way. But when I called, that's not what
I got. Instead, I'm now just a nasty woman in
his world. That hurt more than I wanted to admit,
but it also told me everything I needed to know.
I can't keep begging someone to meet me in the
middle when they've already decided not to. So I ended
it today. He basically said okay. I told him I

(09:50):
wanted to explain why, and he said nope. I said
that sounded like something a man who cycles through women
would say, not someone breaking up with his first girlfriend.
So I away what he said and what it meant
to me, and then he tried to gaslight me, acting
like he never said it at all, that I was
just trying to be cruel. Then in the same breath,

(10:11):
he admitted he never intended on becoming more independent, which
completely contradicted the gas lighting. That was the last straw
I blocked him. My feelings are hurt, my mind is spinning,
but I know this was the right call. I just
hope to find peace again soon. Additional information from Ope's comments.
When I brought it up to him, I didn't even

(10:32):
come out swinging with I'm breaking up with you. What
I actually said was I feel like there's a difference
in our levels of independence, and I'm not sure if
I'm compatible. Do you want to know why he didn't care? Honestly,
it felt like he was just waiting for me to
stop talking so he could unpause his video game. That
told me everything I needed to know about where his
priorities were. I'm also positive his mom is in his

(10:56):
ear right now, painting me as the villain. The way
they're dynamic, I can already picture how that conversation's going.
I won't lie. I'm sad I did like him, but
I'd rather be single for a long time than keep
lowering the bar for someone who doesn't even want to try.
For now, I'll focus on myself and my own peace. Willoby,

(11:16):
you made the right decision, and he showed you right
away why you made that decision. So here's wishing you
the best in the future. Thanks so much for sharing
and take care, and now let's move on to the
next post that also has an update. This post is
from the subredded amiy a Hole, and it's by user
faded toss sixty two. Would I be the A hole
if I didn't allow my half brother to move into

(11:39):
the house we inherited from my father. I'm twenty eight
male and my sister is twenty nine. When we were kids,
our parents separated for like two years but got back
together later on. During that period, my dad got a
random woman pregnant. I can barely remember it being a thing,
but we were so young it didn't have too much

(12:00):
impact in the long run. We've never spoken to him
except as we were growing up. He'd follow us on
socials and would try to start conversations with awkward happy birthdays.
We entertained him until he tried to ask for money
one time, so we kind of ignored him. Sense. I
don't think anybody in our family has really kept up
with him, including our dad, except maybe our aunt, who'd

(12:22):
give us random updates about him here and there. Pretty
sure he's twenty three or twenty four anyway. My dad
has unfortunately passed somewhat unexpectedly, but he was an older guy.
Don't want to get into it, to be honest, but
it's been about four months since me and my sister
have been staying at his house that's passed to us
and figuring all this stuff out. We recently got a

(12:45):
formal letter from the half brother's lawyer, which I'm pretty
sure is just his friend. But that's beside the point
asking for his portion of everything, So we were practically
forced to meet him where he gave us a sob
story about how he needed help and the place this,
or he'd take us to court, so basically forcing our
hand to make a choice soon. I think it's ridiculous

(13:07):
to let a stranger basically into our home and live
like this, but the alternative is selling everything if we
were forced to give him stuff. My aunt says I'm
being an a hole and that he's no different from
a distant relative at worst. But I feel like he
has bad intentions or something, and honestly, I think it's
wrong for him to swoop in and lay claim to
a place he's never stepped foot in and ask for

(13:30):
help from people he doesn't even know. I bet he's
been waiting for this for a while now. Anyway, what
do you all think? If you need information? Ask feel
like I've been typing forever. Jeez, well, Peeve, you kind
of write like an ahole. But that's beside the point.
The question i'd ask is is there a will? If
there's no will, then he is very well in his

(13:51):
right to ask for one third. He is the man's son,
not that he ever knew your dad was a freaking
deadbeat to this poor kid who had no fault in
any of this, So I honestly don't know why you'd
despise him so much, or at least that's the feel
I get when I read what you wrote. But again
that's beside the point. So the question is is there
a will or not? And what do you guys think?

(14:11):
Let me know in the comments section, and now let's
check out the community comments. MJ five fifty four says, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer.
Don't do anything or commit to anything without a solid
understanding of the situation from a lawyer. But also it
probably wouldn't hurt to share something with this guy if
your dad didn't keep up with his child. That's awful.

(14:33):
Lord Buff seventy four says, so you have a half
brother that it sounds like your ahole father abandoned, and
now that he's asking about his rightful inheritance, you are
upset because you wouldn't get everything you say he is
swooping in. Besides the fact that you clearly stated he
tried to contact you before and you ignored him. Sounds
less like him swooping in and more like you ignoring

(14:54):
him and hoping he will go away. You're the ahle
and you take after your father. Maybe you should ask
why your parents separated now that you're an adult. West
Kevina one, two, three four says you're the ahle for
calling your av brother's mother a random woman. Your father
is like as an a hole for, according to you,
basically ignoring his son, who is just as much his

(15:16):
child as you and your sister are. Most important information
is how did the house pass to you? Do you
think it's yours because it's just you and your sister
because it's not. You have a brother who's entitled? Or
did your father leave a will? And pound store Kronk
says it wasn't his fault. Your dad had an affair.
He didn't ask to be born into your family. He

(15:37):
may not be in the will, but he has a
right as your brother by blood, and honestly, the fact
your family has ignored him his entire life is effing huge.
You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Your aunt appears
to be the only decent person in your family. Do better.
You're the a whole and dope. Her responds to be honest,
I'm not gonna be too tough on me and my
sister for never talking to him, because honestly, it's not

(16:00):
easy going about situations like that, and not many people
actually have to deal with situation like these, so I
feel this judgment it is harsh. Well, the community agree
that it'll be is the ahole, and also they're asking
if there's a will. So let's move on to the
update to see how this story ends. Like y'all said,
we ended up buying out his portion of the house

(16:21):
and me and my sister got all of the items
of sentimental value or that we just liked since he
was down to pretty much take whatever else. I overestimated
how much one third was, honestly, and although the buyout
was costly and I was pretty bitter about it leading
up to the inheritance, it truly wasn't an insane amount
and we got it handled easily. Our app brother was

(16:44):
pretty cordial about it too. Surprisingly, he asked us a
ton of random backstory questions, but it wasn't a stressful,
screaming and crying a state split at all. After everything
was split, we said goodbye. According to my aunt, he
secured a new to stay near her, about ten minutes away.
From us, so good for him, so I might just
see him around town on my own, which, to be honest,

(17:07):
I hate how awkward that it would be. But nonetheless
everything went well. I will admit I slightly overreacted in
the original post, but in all fairness, who wouldn't in
my situation, So I don't blame myself too much. Looking back,
I don't see my dad as some evil person, more
like someone who did a bad thing. What he did
to my brother was wrong, and if I ever have kids,

(17:30):
I know I wouldn't make the same mistake. As for
our childhood, it wasn't like we were bullying him every
day or anything. Years would go by without us talking
at all. Most of the time, the only contact was
through the occasional DM awkward birthday messages or small asks.
Once he even asked for a ride, but none of
us drove at the time. It wasn't in person interactions,

(17:53):
just these distant online touches. When it came to the estate,
he got his third cleanly without any pushback from us.
I realize now that my initial reaction seeing him as sketchy, vindictive,
or a threat was more about me being defensive and tribilistic.
Than about him. The truth is, once everything was sordid,
he was actually reasonable and chill. I can admit I've

(18:14):
been egotistical in this, struggling to humble myself enough to
reach out first. I never said anything directly nasty to him,
but I know he probably felt the energy that I
didn't like him, and that alone is hurtful. A lot
of my frustration after my dad's death came from expecting
the process to be messy and bracing for conflict. In
the end, everything went smoothly and I overreacted. Well, Opie,

(18:37):
it seems like it was a transaction, and that's exactly
what happened. Although I get the impression that you have
brother would want to get to know you, or would
have wanted to get to know you, I don't know
about now anyway, OPI, here's wishing you have brother the best,
Opie takes care. Thanks for sharing, Opi, and now let's
finish this video with a mood booster post. This post
is from the subreddit malicious Compliance, and it's by user

(18:59):
come employee. Supervisor said, don't just type PRB, so I
told the whole team I had to poop. So this
recently happened in my call center type job. My brand
new supervisor promoted for all the wrong reasons. Wasn't exactly qualified.
I could write a whole post on that, but the
justice she only got promoted because she was friends with

(19:21):
the boss and is always giving him advice on the
women he dates. Anyway, we had a team's chat where
we kept each other updated and asked for help with things.
Normal procedure was simple. If you stepped away, we would
typically just type PRB so everyone knew you weren't available
for calls. Did this for years with no issues. Well,

(19:41):
new supervisor decides that's not good enough. She needs to
assert control and dominance. She announced to us in one
on one conversations that we all had to start giving
specific reasons for why we were stepping away. I told
her I wasn't really comfortable announcing to the entire team
every time I had to use the bathroom. She basically
shrugged and said, it's the rule. We need transparency so

(20:04):
I know what everyone's doing. Okay, we've had no issues
for years, but whatever she says goes. I guess the
very next time Nature called instead of a boring BRB,
I typed BRB going to poop in the bathroom. Immediately,
she pmed me in teams, saying that was not professional.
I reminded her. She told us to be specific and

(20:26):
I was just following directions. After that, others started joining in.
Some favorites were BRB gonna stand in front of the
urinal and do an impression of a water fountain, BRB
going to blow my nose to try to dislodge this
giant bogger. Within a week, the supervisors started telling us
we didn't need to be so specific when stepping away
from our desks, like, yeah, we know nai soo P. Well,

(20:51):
you did exactly what she wanted. You were very specific,
so she didn't know exactly what you were doing, and
the lesson was totally learned. Thanks for sharing, and that's
it for today's video. Thank you so much for taking
the time to watch it. Now. If you've gotten to
this point in the video, I assume that you like
these stories that I'm reading out, so here are a

(21:11):
couple more that you might enjoy. And if you don't
have any time to watch another story right now, save
it for later. And also, don't forget to hit that
subscribe button.